Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to fight crab, the game where you fight crab. You are crab and you fight crab, Amy told me about this game and said that I have to play it and looking at it right now I kind of agree because this seems like something that I would absolutely have to fff (trails off) (about to say fail) Learn the basic operations.. of a crab? eh sure why not. It said I had to use a controller so I- *Reading screen* Welcome to a wonderful world of fight crab You are a fighting crab
congratulations.Thank you. Use the left and right analog sticks to manipulate Try raising both of your claws above your shell. Oh hell yeah. *laughing* Spread them. Oh, I spread them alright. Release to ready their ready positions. Okay punch. Ohh Damage your opponent by hitting them with your claws or pincers. Ohh nice the more damage you deal to your opponent The easier it is to knock them over. Right... If you flip them onto their cold damp back *laughing* Oh Okay, you can close your pincers with left bumper right bumper okay, your opponent can be guarded with left bumper right bumper I see. Oh Can be broken with scissors, what does that mean? Ooh ooh ohh I'm squeezing ya. You move in the button try moving left Okay, you can stop moving by pressing another direction. Oh I'm moving to the right. Okay, you can dash by pressing twice. Okay. Good. Try a real crab fight this time. Okay So its going for real? If you flip onto their cold damp back you win All got ya get down get stay. Ah, come on Okay. Alright you want to fight crab? You wanna fight?You wanna fight? OOOH Shititit Pinned baby! Oh ho ho ho This frigging uh *laughing* some Level up. What do I have? Do I have anything to level up with? Uhhh Technically. Yeah, but I'm gonna - I'm gonna save until I actually know what I'm doing. This is going Grea- fight, uh, Crustacean city the ultimate crustaceanal crabby street fight begins here. Alright fucking I'm ready to throw down Let's do this. Come on. You crab bitches. You want a piece my shhe. You want some of this shit? Long-arm crab, nevermind. I'm coming for you baby. Oh, here we go. Yeah, take some, take some of my- my car! Oh, you are just being annihilated! You charge them. Ohhohoho I don't even need to do anything you freakin destroy yourself! Ha ha ha you played yourself long arms! Ok, cool- what? Oh Oh shit. I keep going. I didn't know I keep going. Alright, you're gonna get a face full of car. Ah Oh Shit, you got you have your arms are way bigger than mine. Okay, so I gotta be kind of strategic about how I'm Throwing my punches. Oh Yeah, he's on his back! he's on his back! Why is this not- here we go. Alright and up and we're gonna go for a finishing blow. Oh It feels good, it feels really good. Feels good It feels so good! Uh what are you? eh whatever it doesn't matter. Lets charge you No, you think you can block? The answer is you probably can. Ow ow! oh you grab me? Oh shit oh Huh Holy crap. Holy crab (wink) ow let go! let go! let go! let go you bastard! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, you don't no you don't no you don"t no you don't no you don't. Get you I'm gonna get you. Oh God I have no idea how to play the truth of the matter is I'm just hitting buttons Go push push push push I can push I gotta push I gotta push. I gotta push push push push push Yes! Get down! Stay down! Stay down! No AHHH I'm being push. Yeah. AHHH Yes. I win Somehow I won awesome!! Alright lobster. Why do you have a knife and a gun? (bc why not) Wait, Why do you- Why do you get a knife with a gun?? Oh God, okay Well, that guns not gonna do you any good when I got my skill! *flashback to him saying he doesn't know how to play* Maybe this is gonna do you some good? I can't seem to get a punch I'm going to.. god I got a- oh there I go No, no, no, no, no, no No, if I go to the left, I get knifed if I go to the right I get shot I'm not sure which one's gonna be better at this point. Oh, I'm going backwards. I just gotta hold on for dear life Oh No, I can't seem to get a hold of anything. Oh I want to grab that gun. Ope no there- *stutters* Come on, that's not fair! No I'm sinking. No money?! How about we shop. Buy. Knife? ooo sword? ooo Crowburr Butterfly sword. I don't know what that means. Tonfa? Claymore. Let's go knife and a crowbar. I feel like that's good. Yeah, let's yeah, let's do that. Let's do that Okay, we're gonna go.. knife in the left one. Crowburr in the other, get some nice swinging and some nice.. Oh, yeah, it's gonna be good. All right, fight. Alright we're going back to it. We're gonna back to it. Oh, we're going back to it. Oh, it's going down I'm yelling timber. Oh, you're gonna get it now, okay and swing and up stab Stab and swing why am I turned around tonight? What what turn around you asshole? There we go. There we go. There we go. This stab stab and swing and oh god. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah. WHere'd my crowbar go?! I lost my crowbar. It's okay. I don't need it. Keep yeah, he lost his knife, too! Yeah, get out here. Get out here. Yeah, get knifed get knifed get knifed! Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes!!!!!! Okay. Yeah, I did it. I feel good about myself. Where's my crowbar? Did I lose my crow- oh, what the For those pod racing engines? What?! I don't understand what you're doing! What're you doing to me?! Oh god oh god oh god. ow, ow owie! Okay, can you not do that? And hold on. I lost my knife. Can I get some of whatever you've got going on there? I don't know what is with you lobsters and having a lot of money to be able to buy this shit, but that's not cool. *laughing* Oh my God! I'm alive. Im still in it. Im still in it, baby Oh God. I'm not in it Oh Someone end the pain. Oh my god. No, no no no no No, get him get him get him. Get him. Get him get him get him. Get him get him off God How does he still have an engine? It's okay, cuz I have a car! (nope) A tree! Okay, well there I go. oh yeah, that's that's it for me that's that's it for me that's it for me no, maybe not Ah, there we go flip Okay, all right, well we're fine we're all good no, no survived just a little longer a little longer well long yes, I I did it! I won!! I won the game! I don't know how I did that Lemme go grab these chivalry swords and shells It is said that there are fabled crab guards all too familiar with medieval weapons Okay good, but anything's better than having two jet engines strapped on you. Oh, all right hair crab I don't know what that means. But that's weird. Hey, yeah Okay, all right just got a keep off of good guard there Oh you are annihilated you are Annihilator? You are annihilated you are annihilated you are annihilated you are annihilated you are annihilated you are annihilated you are annihilated you are Annihilated. Oh Yeah, you're annihilated time to say. Goodbye Yeah, what I'm sorry. Oh, it's just one after another Oh God. Um, okay Maybe I shouldn't have taken so much damage in the last one I feel like maybe I should have been a little more cognizant of my defensive ability. Oh now you're annihilated your Annihilator Ladies, okay, you're annihilated. You've been an eyelid. You're annihilated. Okay. Don't even try to get like oh you're annihilated you've been annihilated Yeah, every part of you is annihilated and I'm amazing. Okay. Hey, oh wait, no two at once. No one said anything about that Alright, whatever. I'll take you on whatever it's okay. I got a cropper in a knife Yeah, one two one two, push and charge and you're on your back. So why are you not? There you go Yeah, get your taint grab you bitch Hey, oh, sorry. Yeah, you suck. I'm amazing. I know it. We all know it we've all known this for so long There's oh hey snow, crab, whatever, you know I come up behind you done. You would never know You're on your back here on your back. Here we go. Get you and pin you Oh I'm amazing. Everything about me is amazing. Everything incredibly is amazing while in the air angling. Both claws down will call you to flaws I don't know how I would get in the air. I'm not a hum percent sure how that would happen So I don't know why that's a tip. You think that I'm gonna use by crabs. Do I want another crab? I don't even know if I want another crab. I like the crab that I've got I'm willing to bet that the crabs that I have isn't really as important as having Say Oh God oh I just really want a gun. I think a guns good I think gun in the lefty is gonna be real good I don't know if it's like goes off automatically or if I actually have to aim it Alright, here we go. Gonna get you. Yeah. Yeah. Here comes the gun Okay back up let's back up. Oh God, oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. I actually have to aim it. Oh no. Oh, no. I've lost my knife Oh, no gun was a horrible mistake. I don't know how to use this weapon. Okay, here we go. And cop Oh god. Oh god. Oh god the gun. Oh, the gun ain't worth it. I can't see anything Oh Oh God Can I please Oh get that table out of the way I swear to God, please, please. Okay, here we go. Your time has come. Yeah three Three really it only does three does three damage does three damage is what it do it does three. Oh My god, oh my god. Get your stupid God Good how could you betray me? How could you betray me like this? I'm still spinning. I I'm dead. Just let me die Let me live out the embarrassment It is my loss as it turns out gun is in fact a bad idea. Let me try to upgrade something Oh, yeah, I don't know what that means. Oh Yeah, okay. Let me put the Drill bar back in there. Alright, you're going down this time buddy. Don't even try against me. You're gonna lose I Lose the crowbar so quickly. Why do I lose? What No okay charging. I don't care what you do. You're not gonna get me get your goddamn swords. That's not fair How do you have all this crap? I want give me a hold. Here we go I had a hold I got it. I got the weapon I Got the weapon away from him get the other one get the other one get the other one get the other one get the other One here. Come on. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Yeah. I've got a lot of damage But uh, I think I've got this What what did I do? What no, no, no get him. You stay down stay down. Stay there. Yes Yes, and I got a claymore, I don't know if I get to keep it I don't get to keep it do a Crabby walking fire a Chinese restaurant who will be made into a crap brick Okay. All right. So low stakes. All right, so everything's fine. Oh shit. You are going down, buddy I am NOT gonna be part of this dish. I'm not gonna be part of this dish. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, get get get some of this get some of that get get off that get off that table get off that table Hey, what the hell man back up back up Yeah, yeah. Yeah crab rangoon for you. Sorry your family won't be seeing you ever again mitten crab. Oh Hey God, how do I keep losing my crowbar? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're going right off the sea you asshole Yeah, goodbye here. Sorry about that. You suck Sorry, I'm a little bit better than you. Sorry. I'm in fact way better any more money. How do I get more money? Oh, there's more tutorial. Oh, I didn't even know that probably more important to learn how to actually play the game, isn't it? What how'd you do that how how are you doing that? How are you getting my weapons unequipped so quickly doesn't matter doesn't matter doesn't matter. I'm gonna break your shell in half you asshole Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Get out of here. You're go. Oh shit. Oh shit. You're coming with me. Oh Please I want to live. Oh sweet baby, Jesus. Oh God, but please Not fair not fair at all. Very unfair in fact And we're frozen. Okay, let's try that again I gotta say I've never fought crab before kind of like fighting crab Let me see the other tutorial see learn how to handle weapons. That sounds important That sounds like something that I would need to know. Get ready. Okay, I'm ready go crabs can hold weapons in both hands Swing weapons to left and right hitting opponents with your weapon would cause more damage. I'm an idiot I was trying to punch with him the whole time I didn't know just swinging with them actually did anything. Oh Wow That that's helpful that makes a lot more sense than what I was doing Also sword kind of a lot better than crowbar, but that makes a lot of sense All right. Let me do what the other tutorial says. Okay, you can close your pincers I knew that I was aware of that stand your arms Okay Oh What wait wait no grab the gut brat grab the weapon, okay. There we go. Okay. I got this one Can you oh my god, can you please just back off back off back off? Let me get this weapon of yours All right, game's up for you nerd okay There we go all done all easy peasy, I won I'm the best they're not to run on walls I'm sorry learn how to run on walls crabs can walk on walls. Of course they can Press y to move on to surrounding walls. What? What? What? What what? That's it that's all you give me, okay. All right fine. Yeah, that makes sense All right, buddy. Here we go And there goes my knife why hey can I get this can I take this away from you? I feel like I'm supposed to be able to take this away from you. Oh My god, oh my god. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop back up back up back off of me, you know everybody wants out Oh my god, get off of my face. You asshole You stupid long-arm piece of crap. All right, you want you want? There we go, there we go. Yeah. Yeah now who's on top? Oh, oh, oh my god This is the most harrowing fight I've ever had in my life I've been in so many fights. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good good. Yes, yes. Yes. No There we go. Stay stay stay. Stay. Stay stay Stay stay stay get off. Push. Push push Yeah, yeah It's so hard, it's so hard I guess I'll go for the sword cuz for some reason that seems to not be terrible We're gonna go for sword and knife. Okay, try this again. All right, you son of a bitch I'm not gonna drop. What is that? Oh my god. Holy crap What is that supposed to be get get just go? I'm gonna push you I'm we're pushing I'm pushing just gonna push you off just go. Oh you're who are you glowing? Oh, My god, I can't make any sense at all go Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes what you get no no, no stay stay stay I don't get that that doesn't make sense You're a crab you're a coconut crab, but you're still a crab I think There we go. Okay. All right. I did it. I think not shit, man Everything just gets close-quarters combat so quickly that you can't do anything. Oh, there's two of you Okay, this is gonna be a fair fight. Yeah, okay. Okay. Well, I'm doing a lot of damage for one of them Okay, I need to back off. I Lost my sword get where is it? I can go find it I know it's got to be here somewhere unless it got thrown off the map which I think it actually might have gotten thrown off The map okay bottle you're gonna get bottle up. Well, nope. Never mind. You gonna get absolutely nothing. Oh, God, oh god, that's a sword right in my mouth. That's why is this hard right in my mouth? No Not today, not today. Not today. Not today not to get the sword out of my mouth. Oh my god, get off the bag you I Apologize coz this video just happens to me be me screaming into the mic Yelling about how the crabs have wronged me and I feel like I'm totally justified in my rage And I forgot that the game crashes if you try to continue after losing cuz it just wants to punish you for being bad at The game and it's not that I'm bad at the game I'm I might be the best fight crabber in the world at the moment, but in this particular instance, they are wrong in me So I will make sure that they are wronged in return. Why do they get Spears? Why are you surrounded? Oh my god, they're surrounding me and if somehow lost my knife already, and I'm about to lose my sword This is just wonderful. You know what I feel like there's some very obvious favoritism going on here Okay, you're done. You're done you're done. And now you you you I've met a hundred and thirty five percent damage But that doesn't matter to me cuz I'm gonna get girl shit. Oh shit. Oh shit No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I will be victorious Oh god, why am I? Oh god. Why am I flipping out? Stop stop? Get get I'm trying to back away from you. But every time I back away I flip on my back why? How am I supposed to get away from you if every time I go backwards I flip on my freaking back Hey that one it okay, and there goes both my weapons That's okay. I'm gonna get one back right now Yeah, I'm gonna get no apparently not apparently I don't get it back even though I went right over it. Okay Yeah, and then they're just gonna wail on me. What what what? What the fuck? What the fuck? How does that one? I have no damn No, I don't want to look at that when I would look at the other one Back up back up back up. Just get him off. Get him off. Get him off get him off Get him off get him off. No, not me not me Just oh really Oh, what in the hell? All right. I'm so Weirdly into this and I yet I'm very frustrated the mechanics don't make sense. There's no strategy to be had in any of this Guaranteed there's no strategy whatsoever Like if you're hoping for a game with some strategy I I mean this this ain't it chief like this this one guarantee There's nothing there's no way someone could actually be any sort of good at this It's just a flail fest, and that's fine. It's fine I'm not gonna talk about why I'm I'm justifying why it seems like I'm bad But I'm not really because I'm actually quite capable I bet I bet I'm like top ten you better just I'm gonna win this now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, you stay down hold you. Yes Yes, where am I going looks Great alright, I'm good. I'm good enough enough feel good feel really really good. But that is it for now So that is fight crab. Good game If you want to have some sick crab on crab action get fight crab, but it is not free Unfortunately, but it is cool. So I do like it. There are some things to like about it So thank you everybody so much for watching if you want to check out fight crab There's a link in the description check out other weird games that I play Linked in the description as well or over there and they suggested videos and thank you everybody for watching And as always, I'll see you in the next video. Bye. Bye (outro song)
I feel this is a perfect photo for “you mess with the crabbo, you get the stabbo!”