Dismantling the IRS with Necromancy

what happens after death well that's easy total Warhammer 3 become Global crisis and who better to collapse Society than this guy because cetra does not serve or like my graphics card so without further Ado meet the tomb Kings as the resident Undead Egyptians our goal is simple conquer the world and survive an endgame crisis to win the first course of action is to greet our neighbor howdy do partner because our units are Undead they don't round but instead crumble and die faster than a new pair of Yeezys after key blasting the Army to death and circle beating their leader we'd won our first battle something special about the tomb Kings cetra does not serve the IRS well we barely make any money our units are completely free instead we have to build structures to increase unit capacities and research Tech to field more armies right now we only have a few chariots to recruit but later in the game may God have mercy because I certainly won't we also start at war with pretty much all of our neighbors because cetra is a dick after sieging our first settlement our units were pretty injured so instead of waiting for them to replenish I could just disband and re-recruit them because digging up dead people is free in terms of expansion to our left we have desert above and below our tantalizing deserts and to our right is mountains with desert because of how our recruitment system works we need to play wide conquering as many settlements as possible gives us more room for unit capacity buildings and bigger armies with now three settlements we turn to the vampire counts by deploying our army in a box and partaking in minuscule tomfoolery our chariots were able to do their thing normally spearmen counter chariots if we didn't have 50. after capturing the fourth settlement we took a break from the fighting for a single turn hello man child give it our income was now 300 hyper-inflated dollars we had to channel our inner Logan Paul and steal more oryx said bribes because we scare people not like that'll stop me for satra does not read Medford also decided to attack us and his army was looking less impressive than an Amazon break room man Undead fights are so much fun we just sit here for 10 minutes watching bone on bone action which is why I spent most of it watching these two schizophrenic necromancers walk in circles like selling School those civilians were unarmed all right good stuff good stuff winning the battle at the end of Manfred and capturing his last settlement was a cakewalk besides we had bigger issues like a plague spreading and Baltimore camping in our city if you had my way you would be dealt flame and Hammer I'm not cool but I didn't ask with manfred's faction gone our research for a second Army had completed allowing me to regurgitate an entire 20 stack in just two turns but for every new Army we awaken our research speed goes down so it takes longer to get another because each settlement we own increases research feedback uh more cities equals more armies and plagues okay skeletons can't get sick exhibit a Jack Skellington ow my [ __ ] dick speaking of pestilence our neighbors directly next to Camry is this quirky not like the other girls settlement the Black Pyramid of the gash a fortress that could unleash Untold evil and Horrors into the world so naturally I had to have it so up until this point things were going pretty well please don't declare war on me I was not expecting that and overall our borders were safe did I say safe no what I meant was ninth circle of hell who is scar brand well you know Satan but applying our units on the edge utilizing masses of Chariots and courageously advancing backwards we pulled their Heroes into our spheres and had a completely Fair duel winning the battle left corn cities open but as we went North there were problems in the South though with another Army awakened we started to mobilize the third Legion of mostly useless yet still free cannon fodder headed by the legendary leader King whackoff our armies beat the lizards off and used a tactic I like to call roomworld fighting the last Army manually we used the mystical powers of cheese we're just gonna keep running him in circles uh until he dies and you know what it's oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] I take it back I take everything further north central took scarbrand's Capital another bald man declared war and tic-tac-toe Drew an x on our settlement in retaliation our armies cornered him and instead of Auto resolving I decided to fight out the battle what a mistake that was with half his units being Airborne we won at the cost of bleaching my eyes even after taking back our settlement we were still fighting against every single bordering faction with corn Lizardman and volkmar cities conquered we expanded rapidly extorted factions in the name of peace and certified ourselves as a local Menace but we were running into a minuscule problem if we Define minuscule as Jabba the Hut if I could rename our cities in this game I'd call them all Poland Vegas with green Skins new plagues and overweight toads we were being squished from all sides yes we were beating down volkmar but with every settlement we occupied we just lose a different one because Awakening and army would take too much time we performed a right to cause sandstorms and attrition for all Invaders which weakened most armies most armies scarbrand decided to take another pass Etc who was riding his Chariot of the Gods after continuously running over his toes we finally sent Scarborough to the shadow realm separately wiped out volkmar and secured our borders King whackoff also discovered edgy arkan who's like setra's really emo younger brother no Mom it's not a phase I'm just a sigma male omo Larkin is Aaron as a result pilot a treacherous pirate known for betraying trustworthy allies back to the north we did a little spring cleaning by finishing off the Glizzy and some inbred Gila monster also apparently crocgar declared war on us at some point which is cool but back of the line Plus in a rare moment of bonding for Tony and I United in common hatred of arkhan of course one turn later how dare you take what I've rightfully stolen on top of britonian aggression we had to defend ourselves from Arkham by invading it King whack off is unique in that he Buffs tomb guard our Elite infantry but by heaping more Buffs onto him each tomb guard is practically unkillable even when completely surrounded as for arkhan Resident Necromancer evildoer and Lieutenant to big bad nagash taking an overview of our Wars we needed another Army but researching one was too slow but you might have noticed these Relic things next to our income called canopic jars we get them through taking sediments and spend them in my favorite pastime running a cult the mortuary cult is a special crafting system for the tomb Kings we could also awaken new Heroes and armies so by emptying Setra Junior's college fund we awakened a new Dynasty to further our military even more we changed up cetra's Army if having some chariots is good then thinking rationally what about a whole Army of them to test our Theory we fought a quest battle for our legendary my good God all of my units don't even fit unlike where they intended to have the Rally Point even their dedicated anti-chariat units couldn't stand up to the might of standstill traffic [Music] he's dying by the way like this is killing him we won setra's blade researched another Army and kept increasing our income Tic Tac also declared war again leading us to witness more Swan magic my mini-map was just filling with enemies so I pieced out one of the Lizardman factions tic-tac-toe's horrifying Army just kind of died and everyone's favorite murderous Psychopaths came back thus far the campaign could be summed up in one word suffering resettling ruins beating up Arc and having those very ruins raised beating up Arkin accepting bribes and fighting a lightning strike battle against dinos with 400 chariots if you told me this is how I'd be spending my Friday night I believe you but at least one good thing came out of all this a giant boner with a bow King whackoff's Army had recruited a bone giant who drops explosive arrows faster than the ratings of Velma krakar had decided to see your settlement with his pet Undead frog a salon so powerful that when he died he just didn't luckily wakov's boner giant unloaded all over the Lizardman and crocgar to death and when it was down to just Lord croak beat the meat out of that toad when everyone was finished off we returned to fighting arkhan but next door was a special Rogue Army because scattered around the map or books of nagash each one gives us special powers after we defeat the Army holding it the same nigash whose pyramid we'd looted inside is a building we can exploit called The Vault of nagash with secrets and dark magic the likes of which no sane mortal would mess with luckily we are neither plus it's not like building the vault as any serious consequences I mean surely it wouldn't set something in motion that would cause a massive Invasion to happen to solve that I forgot about it mostly because we'd all but wiped out arkhan doubled our territory and surrounded the Rogue Army holding our book an army of mostly anti-large versus chariots Weight Watchers the best archers in the game were charging the temple guard directly you just walked through them after dealing with their leader we won the battle and acquired the book of nagash each book has a unique ability with this one causing sandstorms and attrition the other books are spread across the world but the closest ones are in lamia and carrot eight Peaks to regroup we pieced out crockar by gifting him a settlement we just took from him and resurrected our spellcasters at zero Health but more broken was me starting a war with crocgars Ally which he joined now you'd think that it would mean he violated our peace treaty because he declared war on us but see the problem there is that we're using our brains because instead it actually counts as me violating the agreement lowering my reliability to nothing and low reliability means god damn it with a Croc are attacking one of our armies wouldn't be tending the whole thing then confederating with another one of our enemies there were just too many settlements to conquer well for Immortal [Music] taking a step back what exactly have we achieved a lot actually our number pawns gone crocgar United with us against the dwarves then we killed him and pretty much the entire Peninsula is ours sorta meet cairo's fate Weavers each worshiper and Muppets mascot by expanding South we'd run into him and the worshipers of zinc no big bird and his Entourage are almost exclusively ranged units who can kite so as I've said 10 times before chariots turning Kairos into KFC we evicted zinch and took his Northern settlements Kairos last cities were in the chaos wastes which have no practical usefulness whatsoever so you know we're here on the other side of the world we were sending armies to lustria for one of the books first we got caught by orc Pirates which wasn't too bad but then the skaven I expected them to send one Army not four so only one of our boats made it to land we did make a friend though Luther Harkin and perhaps the most lopsided trade deal I have ever seen in the north of our Peninsula we'd mostly defeated the dwarves discovered the scavenclan Moors and were expanding rapidly at least until we met our match a completely random Rogue Army made up of grenade launchers steam tanks and Hellstorm Rockets but maybe we still had a chance okay and that's not the whole thing by the way there's a second armor oh my God and this Army has eight steam tanks oh back in our core lands we were getting tier five setups allowing us access to our best units four swings High Road Titans and necro Sphinx which you'll see a little later I also found an interesting creative mechanic in our Tech Tree a high research rate awakens new armies quickly but each Army lowers the rate back down unless it doesn't by researching 99 of a dynasty at our full rate than switching to another yeah it's kind of a back in the chaos way cetra was still on the warp path taking over half the settlements and ending up at the gates of cairos completely outnumbered and fighting better units tomb King's chariots are good but uh they're not that good with just Setra and his Sphinx this Kairos blob eventually dragged them down for the first time Setra lost the worst thing to happen in the whole king of pain so far remember this place Black Pyramid of the gas spooky sorcerer Supreme well from it we learned some very interesting things number one you can start an in-game crisis by building a vault number two we should not have built that Vault the end game crisis begins in 10 turns and to be honest I don't really know if it was us or complete coincidence either way nagash is back but there was a way out of this no cetrus chariots aren't bad but we needed something insane so after some research we turned cetra's Army into cetra's doomstack Hiro Titans necro Sphinx War Sphinx and Acropolis Knights and Bone Giants plus using the mortuary cult we gave such a regeneration Vortex bells and every other broken ability I could think of we moved our armies closer to the capital recruited more units and had scarc unfairly declared war on us all because we lightly ransacked his capital for another book of nagash would you believe me if I said it's for a school project with tanterns until nagash return we needed to prepare our armies to make sure the north was safe I stationed two armies at Carrick eight Peaks to draw the aggro while scarsnake was strength rank 3 he had his own problems the real threats were quick and Kairos Tweedledum and Dumber were busy taking the chaos waste back but still a time to be flat annoying quick got obliterated and across the sea skrok was role-playing a fish on land still with our armies marching back depression all the scary things scarcity could feel he sent a bunch of naked goblins however shall we manage to improve our main armies I awaken some tomb princes because apparently we recruit them at level 22. pre-max level heroes not too bad unfortunately there was still one problem nope nope nope nope nope nope that army of steam tank grenade launchers was multiplying but we had one Unstoppable weapon at our disposal here is thirty thousand dollars we are now friends as for our other enemies we were using something called diplomacy scarcity I am truly sorry for taking your Capital so because we don't need it anymore I'm giving it to Quick you get this ruined settlement I didn't want and I'll even join all your Wars because I will definitely help you and all I want is peace and some other terms so with scarce neck as our new friendly puppet state we had a buffer to the north we swapped some units around made some minor adjustments and prepared Our Last Stand if we could beat nagash's armies then for the second time in my 1 000 hours across all three titles I might actually finish a game we had three turns until our Capital will be swarmed by more than ten thousand dead and sutra's army was just about done but missing one thing the crown of nehakara in One Last Quest battle housing an army of all monstrous constructs the chaos Warriors even cleverly flanked us and attacked our very vulnerable ranged units by the way all of our high road Titans are also spell casters so we have access to like six of these things oh my God now that cetra had recovered his crown well that was it we've done all the preparing we could do so I stacked every Army into a tight ball and passed our final turn if we could hold we'd win the campaign if we could hold by the end of this turn we need to wipe out all nine armies to prevent any more from spawning which is why I stacked our Lords in one spot so in the words of history's most ancient warlord combining all four armies by setting two of his friendly AI armies into his player armies we could field 80 units at once in total there are 7 000 troops on the field almost turning the game into a PowerPoint the gash's armies faded and battle one of three was over our armies hadn't taken a ton of damage so we moved right into the Second Battle using the same AI Army tactic but this fight was a little different three of the reinforcing armies were coming from the same spot at the same time our Titans went to fight the main Army the first reinforcing AI came in and dear God what is that about 3 000 skeletons had spawned inside of each other creating this amalgamation at least this can't possibly get worse it got worse Jesus Christ so what does it look like on the ground level for the average Soldier well it looks a little something like this um I'm not really sure how to describe it because the enemy armies could not physically get onto the field I had to keep pulling back to let them spawn they even hit army losses and had zero units on the field but the game was soft locked because of our blob as my PC spit up coolant my suffering ended at last now it was down to the final battle against nagash's three best armies bringing everything we had to Bear it was a lot and one last climactic exciting and totally not completely one-sided battle Setra beat nagash's armies once and for all with over 1 million gold spent 44 Wars declared and zero allies ever we'd at last achieved a complete and total campaign Victory forcetra does not forget he didn't think I wouldn't remember Kairos oh yeah also follow me on Twitch because I stream consistently sometimes I stream and my streams are easily the best around

Channel: The Grim Kleaper

Views: 1,548,618

Keywords: kleapit, the_grim_kleaper, kleaper, anti-kleaper, kleap, grim, warhammer, total war, total warhammer 3, total warhammer, tomb kings, necromancy, undead, settra

Id: 0WygGKVCTu0

Length: 15min 51sec (951 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 25 2023