Escape from the Commercials - Nostalgia Critic

[Music] [Music] Shaquille O'Neal aka Chuck well anything with Shaq's name on it has to be of quality the carnival 30 minute tour go biggie JCPenney for the age of beer I got my mojo going strong oh it's the award-winning Madea vodka with the world's only personal programmable LED display on the bottle now I guess you need some 5k after watching his movies as well as some choice words written in lights what will my dear bottle say okay so what do we have this time Dyess the palate cleanser after watching Kazaam justice register what's up with this guy it's like he's so ashamed to be advertising this product as body is rejecting the idea justice the villains in this game lost they couldn't even understand who they're going up against sighs alright be on the lookout for a guys what exactly is kungfu shack style is it throwing all the leftover copies of steel nobody bought while building a fort behind Etsy cans and all sport let me check the instruction book Wow lucky guess this ad is every level of 90s with its need to feel a wide angle close-ups black wonder woman I think that was the thing it's funny for the time period it came out sighs yeah it's corny but it's a lot of Genesis Super NES you miss turkey wreck material speaking of celebrities that were disturbingly on everything look they're making a tea that means they're the cereal now I don't know just buy it look at this girl's face that's a face that says I'm being held hostage until you buy this damn thing better Morse code you're way out of this one this is also one of the few cereal commercials that included the PSA here I was just kidding nice mr. t breakfast cereal presents mr. G talk number one don't ask where talk number two is apparently the cereal wasn't popular enough for another commercial which is good cuz ahead I'm teaming up with peewee Herman talking about crack it was weird so study hard this is do the teachers and learn something new every day but hell with that we want the one where mr. T keeps his lines to a two-word minimum ooh yeah it is cool but after all the songs and stunts and action going on saying how amazing it is do you have anything else to say about it you really couldn't record him just saying it's cool in a slightly different way what do you think the story behind this is sweet mr. cheese ooh it's cold that's great but there's a lot more script to read but I don't see anything so I get paid by the syllable you think I can see into the future living this cartoon and she calling mr. t to twist I know I don't have long for this [ __ ] gets soggy like my nasty-ass cereal my popularity is gonna expire got a store nuts for the winner can't you just say stay in school or something oh you mean like stay in school so you wanted to do commercials for nasty cereal it tastes like crusted rabbit [ __ ] I pity spoon stay in school also a living the bus with a bunch of kids it's very exciting that's creepy people just ask more questions look at this girl she's swinging over John how could she do that that's the devil's work I know this chick cake last long you want me to say more crazy that's all right I think we got all that we need is that come wrong yep you look what is dirty cereal do part of a complete new burger and remember on Gibson's a scoring you got to give me a cameo in crazy yeah it's silly but it's mr. t silly and that's the coolest kind of silly there is for me I'll always have a soft spot for mr. t cereal and is commercial too [Music] I'm gonna beam down to the dude oh race you here's a bike yeah from the 80s but it's supposed to be said in the future it's an amazing time where people can unpause footage mannequins have met Frewer wearing loose black shield helmet are all the rage and bikes are so fast they beat people beaming down to a planet yeah pity we have nowhere to go ever since the apocalypse hit do I make sand castles again yeah for a protocol Street machine there's not really any streets to use it on is there but it's great down neon hallways and giant dreidels covered in saran wrap Oh future like a lot of 80s sci-fi if it was weird made no sense but was shiny it was the most high-tech thing ever made slowest beam ever by the way what took that damn thing so long snotty beam me twice last night it was wonderful [Music] [Applause] weird it's pretty stupid but it's 80 sci-fi cheese stupid I can't act like I don't get a giggle out of it [Applause] [Music] now Skeletor charges into battle with awesome artillery oh come on that's just how Matthew McConaughey says artillery artillery nothing except the blaster it actually fires a light beam to stop artillery light beam that's a fancy way of saying we just put an awkward flashlight on Hemans chest [Music] yeah that's not the first time he blogs Skeletor remember when they both hit on lion-o at that bar called the extending sword you artillery bead blaster set the first light mention weapon ever surprisingly that's not a very big deal they're not gonna redo the opening like but only was a bull's-eye to the evil eye you know outsmarting those must not be that difficult haha damn your palms thank you so separately you supply the batteries the priests and ER commercial for a priest and ER prophet I expect more from the Masters of the Universe the first light mention weapon ever of the Masters of the Universe I love the taste of your fresh food coffee but it's not fresh fruit its nutrient still going yep most of us know the Energizer Bunny but do you know where he started it was actually a parody of a Duracell commercial which had a bunch of pink bunnies with batteries going out but show Duracell lasted the longest well energizer [ __ ] on that noise saying they weren't even invited to this test and not only does their battery make the pink bunny go longer but their pink bunny has shades oh that means he's in cahoots with attitude attitude they keep going and going and going and it soon became a running joke as it brilliantly interrupted other commercials yeah you thought you were watching something else but suddenly still going into an amazing still going nothing outlasts the energizer yeah you never know when he was gonna pop up and ruin a product that maybe you wanted to buy tension headaches this bad need a peeler this good mean extra strength darn it all oh really that sounds like it might be very helpful to know going damn I don't wanted to buy that it soothes my head from your dumb ass drop this bunny is rude these people are just trying to do their thing and he keeps getting in the way of it how would you like if you were just going along your everyday life and suddenly [Music] eventually they started hiring assassins to take them out [ __ ] this battery business is hardcore mr. energizer bunny hippity hoppity days are over they're pretty funny for a while but suddenly Darth Vader couldn't even take him out what the [ __ ] is this why do the Empire even need his battery is it like the force cuz there's a positive and a negative side that's a stupid he's better that seems kind of trivial while you're at it close down Bea Arthur's Cantina and give Han Solo away we are the Empire oops looking like a little [ __ ] by comparison now you got a skip by a guy who came and take out a toy bunny fader probably looks at the monkey with symbols like will be one has taught you well but the bunny beats him because the Empire can't afford better batteries for his lightsaber health care and batteries that's always where the cuts are that's still more dignified than when he screamed No [Applause] they were funny at first but got old kind of fast nevertheless this bunny stayed an icon no matter how annoyingly long it kept going mm-hmm I guess getting your nuts often always have the same meaning in this payday commercial a sex hot line gets probably the strangest caller ever and that's saying a lot given this line of work Mel well your credit card information says Frank so I'll just call you Frank something sweet like caramel huh okay I'll go with that caramel so different would you like to tell her that I've done cover it with roasted peanut mmm did you say roasted penis oh um am I getting punked by George Washington Carver he was a guy who did a lot of things with peanuts who are you you're making me so confused concerned confused hungry what you wanted is a payday I guess we'll accept this as going well what a weird-ass ad it's very clear why this guy needs to call a sex hotline but why the hell is he wasting his time talking about paydays Christ imagine he came up with another type of candy hi who's this um almond Joe mmm what are you thinking about almond Joe something sweet mmm like what something long and brown I'll do my best with ads I just want to put a great big nut in it yeah and I will do my best with that depending on how long and brown it is sometimes two big nuts really think there's better hot lines for you I don't mind saying that I like a lot of fudge-packing I don't mind saying that you're really making me regret my job and the more coconut I can fit inside the better okay well I'm allergic to coconut so I'm gonna go but bye wait wait no I'm just talking about almond joy oh I'm so sorry I thought this was all stuff you were into oh no I'm actually into necrophilia I bet you won an Almond Joy yeah I like the quiet type a dumb man with a dumb setup and a dumb punch line leaves only one conclusion this is pretty dumb making me so hungry what you wanted is a payday hey kids everyone to cuddle up with a toy that looks like the butthole monster from the wall your mouth says no but your nightmares say yes Chubbles giggle it just about any change of life that's giggling huh your giggle sound like a security alarm when someone's breaking into your house you know that classic pleasant sound okay these things are horrifying right I feel like only David Lynch's kids would find these adorable to the rest of us they're comfortably disturbing it's like what nel sees when she's trying to sleep in the haunting of Hill House it's fun to have it jiggles around because jiggle it most any sounds if not these things will scare you into sleep paralysis cellos and jiggle perfect friends renewed troubles and chicas are also two STDs who can get if you're not careful yeah I don't like these things at all and the ad doesn't make them any less menacing just get away from this [ __ ] as quickly as possible each sold separately from animal fair I'm pretty sure you mean another movie don't tap your finger at me you entitled [ __ ] is Star Trek 5 we got the object 5 the final frontier ok you two look like the people who'd be more excited for this you do know what Star Trek v right v Star Trek 5 they physically go looking for God trust me lady I know I have 5 babies at home Star Trek 5 is perfect for them it puts them right to sleep Wow Shatner was such a cheap ass director he didn't even get you a copy stop tonight 5 the final frontier why the hell do you have to tell your dealer it's clearly the biggest hint in the world according to everybody man who would have thought we're all out of Star Trek 5 and barbed wire they didn't do [ __ ] at the box office but apparently they're the voice in a generation talk about missing the mark this commercial had no idea how to advertise this movie it just comes off it's unbelievably desperate stop turn it 5 the final frontier ya know the one where I bumped my head we all sing row row your boat in a row it does that feather dance twice what am i doing take that away from me this is definitely one of those ads that's so bad it's good it makes no sense but it's a pretty good last stop today five the final frontier so tell your dealer if you want to see it I'm sorry I just got rid of my last copy oh I see you've got my Kellogg's cornflakes again it only figures the widest of cereals would have the widest of commercials no cornflakes are daddy cereal son and I'm afraid you'd have to come up with a pretty convincing argument to get me to change my mind problem number one a kid is trying to steal his dad's cornflakes since friggin one hell with those marshmallows and chocolate I want the taste of soggy cardboard left out in the lane second well just watch you'd have to come up with a pretty convincing argument to get me to change my mind [Applause] well you convinced me son I am never buying this cereal again you see dad this is how lame our cereal is we got these guys from mascots Pelley's toucan sam never ran another frou-frou hand and i got great food and oh never mind this was a weird time I don't even follow were these guys just waiting for someone randomly to say they need to be convinced that cornflakes could be eaten by kids too was that like their lifelong goal I don't get it man we've been wandering this street for years and years why are they doing this I told you one of these days a grown-up is gonna need convincing the cornflakes aren't for kids and that our amazing rap will save the day why I just don't get why it's such a big deal ever question conflicts again I'm tired and hungry haven't eaten since we ate our fourth member I miss punky spoon get it together guys someone's gonna be convincing one of these basic ass no oh I see you've got my Kellogg's cornflakes again and I'm afraid your kids I think we waste their lives there's no think about it totally crazy and dated in all the wrong ways this is a lame way to wake up to a lame cereal well that was pretty convincing Sun set up joke about reviewing a nostalgic commercial that's a real commercial here punchline oh yeah these damn things in the early 2000s Quiznos tried something hauntingly different by introducing the sponge monkeys they were photoshopped acid dreams that looked like villains from Wonder Pets if you feel they look ungodly and unnatural fear not their heavenly voices will win you over thank you for clarifying that you know I was looking at you saying I recognize you from somewhere history books I recognize you from history books clearly I've seen you in a picture of some sort the Hun's it must be the Huns I've seen you in so many history books as the Huns but you have clarified you are not the Huns thank you thank you for making that clear nan Huns [Music] unless that's a place where pepper served me alcohol I'm not interested we have a home we have a tea we have to stop it only figures a restaurant that appeals to us don't teenagers would have marketing buys don't teenagers this must have been made up at the last minute while somebody was coming off of quaaludes so what's your ad person getting paid thousands of dollars to represent us sponge monkeys yeah and they got a song goes like this which I'm totally not just making up right now sponge monkey I've waited all my life for someone to say that you can even hear the announcer being like Quiznos has all-new subs that oh god what is that I didn't know us attached to garbage like that I thought this was a respectable company oh hell no I'm out of here [Music] it makes no sense and I guess that's the point but to their credit I do remember it and so do a lot of people it is what it is I just don't know what it is Wiz knows [Music] like any hit movie hook had action figures to sell and they had commercials to go along with them okay that kid is getting way too much joy out of hook dangling there he looks like for the first time he's feeling shoe power power over plastic dustin hoffman's that he will eat upon ridicule he will taste like victory boy they really downplayed rufio's death didn't they honestly I feel like a lot of these scenes could be more faithful to the movie then for preschoolers Playmobil hook action figures [Music] [Music] playmobil hook action figures because of a grown woman lusted after a teenage boy all these years I guess creepy is the new cute nevertheless it's a lot of fun and captures most of the spirit of the film pretty well a decent toy yet based on a decent movie yeah can't like this wasn't a huge thing New Kids on the Block had so much merchandise it was hard to keep track of but these creepy ass stalkers will try go outside anymore the day ball hurts my eyes gotta love it when the new kids actually made it into an add themselves 24 hours then I'm brand new hotline just pick up your phone and call someone 909 0 9 5 kid these guys must have graduate from the nottingham school of acting because their acting is just being Nottingham's look at me I'm naughty I'm nodding on the phone girl oh that's right I'm not we're both nodding isn't that something I'm nodding like a dog all right I'm serious again I'm deep but the best of these ads are the ones that pin the fangirls against each other to see who's the scariest I'm number one fan because I'm gonna pay for all their unemployment bills when they're not popular anymore that's not just dedication that's practical seriously how far can these obsessions go I'm their number one fan because I collected samples of Johnny's hair to add to my voodoo doll he'll go out with me if he doesn't want a testicles in a blender I'm their number one fan because I've collected enough of Danny's blood to make several clones soon my army of Danny's will rise I'm the number one fan cuz I have Donnie tied up in my storage room [Applause] New Kids on the Block cause the kids come with Cosette a little obsessive but I guess that was the intent this ad did a good job making sure everyone tried to be their number one fan stage hanging those kids and accessories sold separately yeah remember one hard our films that kids toys how the Batman Returns get in trouble for having happy meals and yet a movie with countless and palings have these at every Toys R Us what can we say we thought the sequel would be more for kids after seeing the first one a family product fight evil with his mobile adult vehicles yeah remember that from the movie I think you're confusing though with Arnold's other vehicle from Batman and Robin a film that should have been our on principle guide with the policeman evil t1000 aim good boy his shape-shifting is improving because that looks nothing like Robert Patrick looks more like Tom Arnold escaping questions about Rose an evil t1000 aim didn't the movie kind of address this can form complex machines guns and explosives have chemicals moving parts it doesn't work that way [ __ ] Kenner disagrees he can totally do that now I think it'd have to be seeing how stabbing weapons look like a melting Washington Monument this time here's another one that's kind of cool actually pumping Arnold up with human flesh over the endoskeleton dead flesh compound terminator created there is one drawback though terminator I'm ah I don't think you're ready to fight yet Arnold still got close before kicking some ass granted you might be looking for a lot of these looks but you know with that package I don't think you're gonna get much Mama's anatomically impaired as a kendo no despite not being a ton like the movie the commercials are still pretty creative and captured the tone of an r-rated gorefest seriously this is so weird the party's over t1000 adios amigo her wait was it he said something is Spanish I don't know nobody will remember it when you're a toy company you have to ask the question what are girls most likely to play with dolls fashion a wizard in a bubble that can predict the future but usual what was that last one ask sand or wave your hand and he speaks ask Zander is a dating game no need to rewind the video I'll repeat it it's a dating game about which boy likes you this game clearly understands every girl's need to talk relationships with a warlock am I going to the prom with a geek please say no lord knows there's no geeks in this room that's the wizard another question why do secret admirer absolutely he knows everything is there a future for me and Bobby hello Bobbi its Melinda I think it's time we broke up I really thought we were going somewhere - but Xander told me there was nothing for us Xander a magic toy a wizard that predicts the future could you say that again your voice became distorted because you were yelling so loud hello hello hello handed he speaks guess what he predicts in the winner gets to a special fortune granted should I pull the plug and grandma's life support absolutely hmm that seems a little harsh she might pull too you will get a phone call about this look at this girl's face she wasn't amazed the phone rang she's amazed she stayed in this room so long with two nutballs listening to plastic Gandalf it cuts before she bolts out the room slamming the door it's ridiculous air for a ridiculous toy and my prediction is this will be found at a lot of garage sales ask sand are the talking Wizarding they're invading what seeing how so many of you were triggered by my joy of pokemons being destroyed safe plays ball protect me from reality I guess it only makes sense to look at another pokemon commercial this one's for a product call pokiman ball busters what's it called pokiman ball busters I can't believe I actually have another opportunity to play this but to the commercials credit I think the item is called which isn't a ton better apparently their popularity is so amazing even Mickey Mouse has to China yeah whoo wind power blows him away yeah you know just Bob down the hall was the one who recorded that line away even Pikachu sounds like he's half-assing it can they be mastered shouldn't it be more excited and less questioning I don't even know what I'm doing anymore you know I used to play Hamlet at the pokey theatres I hate everything no there's definitely one kid that takes this ball thing pretty seriously you can put Pokemon power in your pants not your drawers these suckers are gonna be blasting my balls all throughout math class unless you're pokey testicles as a fetish but if it is we know there's a hotline they'll take them up on it I guess it's a pretty standard ad and there's nothing annoying about it but it's an okay commercial just don't ask what makes this kid squirtle cloudy catchy pokiman ball busters battle figures pound bouncers and talking pokemons each sold separately from Hasbro here's an old-school one all the way from the 70s mad a 70s they knew what was sexy back then Charlie's Angels Wonder Woman long hair tight pants for all its faults this is a time period that knew how to be hot so what's sizzling angle are they taking up here there's one person nobody can resist and that's a baby unusual start so love made baby soft with the innocent scent of a cuddly clean baby I mean bad body lotion sexiest fragrance around okay all right I'm Matt Jacob from Twilight I don't look at a baby and imagine them at a bangable age I just look at them and see a baby that cool very sexy loves babies well scaring me right now because I never thought of innocence as sexy because I never wanted to in fact it's an innocence kind of the opposite of sexy like the direct opposite if you look in a dictionary or say let me just say it say that this feels wrong your baby wait so now my lover's a baby or it's actually for babies both are insanely unsettling I just want to know what kind of creep I'm dealing with this is every layer of you I think you can legally show it's crazy how this starts off so alluring and quickly turns into super there's one person nobody can resist and that's a baby it's hard to even know what to say why do the most disturbing commercials always require babies to be in them does the agency of creepy ass commercials just meet up and say not creepy enough specs of babies in there the innocent scent of a cuddly clean baby this is eerie this is so eerie I don't like watching it I don't like thinking about it's just you know who oh hell shame on all of you and the EU you have let loose on the world your baby look if there's anything you wanna leave you with before I take off here it's that commercials can be creepy commercials can be scary commercials can be made by very disturbed people he's always in so dark [Applause] [Music] [Music] you where is this car truck five video you

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 1,279,814

Keywords: channel awesome, doug walker, nostalgia critic, commercials, commercial, old commercials, nostalgic commercials, escape from the commercials, toy commercials, toys, mr. t, terminator, shaq fu, tv commercials, commercial review, nostalgia, 90s commercials, 80s commercials, retro, retro commercials, best commercials, nostalgia critic commercials, classic commercials, crazy commercials

Id: AGOhCxkPSog

Length: 34min 44sec (2084 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 28 2018