Everything Wrong With Mr. Peabody & Sherman in 19 Minutes or Less

[Music] Disney forcing your already overworked animators to create a Spoke Sherman minus Peabody DreamWorks logo when a still picture of the Fisher boy on the moon for 5 seconds would have done the damn job just fine our Story begins High over New York City in the luxurious Penthouse apartment you say luxury apartment and I say ridiculous waste of space with an entire Wing dedicated to a baby mile inspired art piece oh sorry you CAU me doing my yoga upside downward dog aration for some reason all these children are allowed to go up to new to them dogs and pick them up without any adults objecting kids take it from me do not handle dogs until you know them very well also why the you even watching this channel go watch Bluey you monsters come back throw the stick I'll stay I'll heal I'll even shake hands but will you get rid of the creepy mouthful of human iners at least grow a few canines will you they're literally named after you also Peabody is smart enough to know that the children want normal dogs if he wanted to be adopted he would have faked being a dumb dog by now so I'm not buying this sudden desperate demand for acceptance Peabody dedicated himself to knowledge culture and Athletics so to be clear repetitively fetching a stick was not okay but repeatedly bouncing a ball is totally fine I pioneered new techniques in Alternative Energy it takes us Less Than 3 minutes to get to the movie's first fart joke and I think that's a record even for DreamWorks but also this is a highly inefficient way to transfer fuel there's no way I'm pulling into a cow gas station and trying to get Bessie's anus hooked up to my car every time I need a fill up have you told them about the way back why are they both aware of me and where does this moment fall on the timeline of the rest of the movie so Sherman is highly prepared for life but still presses the elevator button repeatedly like an of course time travel can be a bit unpredictable wish try a time travel to the time when we are finally done with this fourth wall breaking expositional narration Fest remember when movies actually movied also this movie should have been called Dog tour who and and I will hear no further feedback on this matter home of Marie Antoinette you know she was mostly famous for one thing he being famous for cake but hiding it under a hoop skirt I may have misunderstood Marie was a woman with a prodigious appetite for all things covered with frosting thinking frosting works on all food I mean I have a former friend who dips his Doritos in frosting who might disagree but there is a reason he is a former friend Sherman calling for your son into an active stove as if he somehow went in there and would still be able to respond when called on don't you remember why I told you to stay close to me during the French Revolution having this conversation right now instead of getting the hell out of there so they rounded up the dog for a beheading but let the cake eating kid just go free being a revolutionary must be so confusing some days this calculation is fine but how would he know that the manhole would rotate around and let him fall into the massive sewer system like this better question should I have my groceries delivered or go to the grocery store in person I know it's an entirely unrelated question of the movie but I'm already checked out and thinking about the next thing oh this water is terrible interestingly that's not water you see the joke is that the kid drank sewage I wonder sometimes if kids movies know that laughter and dry heaving aren't the same thing all right Sherman looks like it's time for a little pop quiz in the art of fencing no questions are asked or grades given out for this supposed Pop Quiz I guess the manhole is large enough to cover the hole and also small enough to fall down the hole while simultaneously being light enough to be moved directly upward by a flung sword and heavy enough to knock a man unconscious this manhole is a mystery super good luck at the lightly pierced wooden wall containing enough water to dispel their enemies and Propel Our Heroes through the tunnels with such Force they were able to surf the methane filled underground in a way that would light Sparks hot enough to ignite an explosion that would rocket them through fire and out a hole hundreds of feet in the air at ridiculous speeds without somehow killing them super good luck this sucker machine it knows it only needs the dress up clothing to be removed instead of all the clothing using present day as if it means anything is it 2024 is it when the movie was written when that text was produced when the movie released now when someone ask me when Mr Peabody insur takes place I will not have an answer how are any of us supposed to go about our normal daily routine without this information this mostly glass bus AKA The Inevitable Shard Express looks like someone really knows their history huh Penny what the did that teacher just sham penny for not knowing as much as Sherman guess there's a reason her students give her apples that little girl gave you the exact answer that you also thought was correct you plot and sighting bastard your dad's a dog so you're a dog too you know what the movie didn't cover in its opening five minute narration Aon how everyone in this universe past and present knows and accepts that Sherman's dad is a talking dog named Mr Peabody it's like the Paddington principal except in a movie that sucks whatever the f that pile of her's dogit is come on Sher this bullying has been Stephen kinging loudly and publicly in this lunchroom for over 2 minutes now and not a single adult or legal guardian animal is anywhere to be seen the sheer amount of diplomas and accolades displayed on this wall is ridiculous I think someone may be overcompensating what on Earth provoked it she called me a dog no that's the part of it that's relevant to Mr Peabody's plot motivations you were fine when she called you a dog it was disregard for personal property and the choke hold that really made the difference also Sherman is in bed the sun is gone why would anyone wait this long to get his side of the story animated movie uses a picture to morph into an expositional Andor emotional Montage over a sappy song in order to get the runtime to 90 minutes cliche also this memory Montage highlights a series of Adventures that only prove Mr Peabody has placed his child in serious danger over over and over and over and over pns go back in time and use their for knowledge of events to catch this Jackie Robinson home run probably to sell it on eBay and have we learned nothing from Back to the Future to Bringing Prince of Egypt into this Sherman was abandoned but only after receiving a thorough eye exam and being prescribed corrective lenses before the age of one if a boy can adopt a dog I see no reason why a dog cannot adopt a boy a boy cannot legally adopt a dog the final line of this article paragraph says offering in his many accomplishments as proof he is well educated K9 and the sentence missing its a is proof that JJ rordon is not well educated human also this newspaper from July 20th has an above the-fold front page article about getting into the holiday spirit considering there's not another major holiday until Labor Day in September I have to wonder why this paper is so gung-ho about parents day also also the paper is from 2006 and since this movie is set in present day I can only assume that Sherman is 18 now and somehow still in elementary school not waiting to do this impressive choppy thing until the guests arrive and can be truly impressed just a little dungeon as crab with a passion fruit basil concet some truffled quiles and a juniper berry reduction and big Alaska Mr PE isn't my personal chef in the scene stirring the mering in such a way that your hairy fingers dip into the mix everything going swimmingly Mr pe's first question should be why are you too closed in this dark room with no supervision every great relationship starts from a place of conflict and evolves into something richer wait every great Rel relationship that's just not true I have great relationships that started in a variety of ways including but not limited to a matched sense of humor Mutual physical attraction or a shared hatred of the fact that they kept making New Year's number glasses after 2009 zitar steel drums trombone xylophone JBE kop oh thank God this father asked for a series of musical numbers so we could have further proof that Mr Peabody is better than all of us OBO Piccolo tuba Doo slide whistle yod AAR harmonium musical s you know what this has been great it has not but a complete waste of time Fair also and most importantly why did all the different versions of Mr Peabody stop like they'd all been interrupted at the same time was this some sort of multiversal situation that Penny's folks were just completely unaffected by I'm a licensed chiropractor this this this this this and this works he calls it the way back way back is an acronym for Wormhole activation and bridging automatic computer but wab BAC really looks like it should be pronounced wabak if nothing else be consistent with the a sound and call it way bake as in I have to be way baked to enjoy any of this movie also you completely drop the and out of the acronym which should have made it w a b a k which ironically would look more like it should be pronounced way back Mr pebody says you should never use the way back to travel to a time when you existed how come there' be two of you oh so they do have some time travel rules I was beginning to question their time travel respect when I saw them both with the timeline over and over again in that earlier memory Montage Mr Peabody says I'm not allowed to drive it till I'm older saying this but not installing any security measures on this door this platform The Machine's entry or take off sequence not using this giant ass room for anything sure there's minimalist home to coer but this seems more like we really didn't want to animate any more furniture she could be here or here or here or here or here Mr Peabody is a dangerous criminal convince me otherwise and I'll give a send back later precious perhaps but if you think we're going to leave you here you are most definitely in denial I don't get it then why are you laughing at least last time pebes gave you a wink wink look this time he just delivered that line straight so you should have no clue that it was supposed to be a joke you can't marry this guy why not well for one his name rhymes with butt add hominum fallacies when I die they'll kill you too and then they'll rip out your organs stop them in canopic jars and then mummify whatever's left okay I'm seeing this now thank you getting your wig snatched by your fiance but in a bad way these tombs are lined with hieroglyphics designed to assist the Pharaoh souls in their Journey to the afterlife and they may assist us as well right if you can read them there's a more confident chance Sherman would interpret something like this as a group of Halloween characters arguing over whether or not to return to shore after an ugly seagull landed on their boat oh this depicts the Goden nubba sailing the boat of Raw to the underworld it appears the boats of raw are the key to our Escape conveniently jumping to correct conclusions based on the first picture you see on a wall is convenient they deserve each other wishing death upon a schoolmate it's not like I want to hold her hand or go to the park or watch her while she's brushing her hair once with the disapproving look Mr P we don't stand for hair Kink shaming around here aha that was easy do the puzzle exactly as I did I won't give you any further instructions or anything I just need you to remember what I just did exactly even though I gave you no warning to pay attention get it it came out of the butt it's hilarious In fairness I guess it's like my mom always said you can't spell Anubis without a goodbye through the anus sorry I no I really stretched for that one we pay tribute to the Sun God Ra wait Deus X this handmade megaphone should not have this level of application or Reverb enough but it's to wa we've already paid for the cater I forget is purposeful anachronism hilarious or a sin H well I'm not laughing so run away bride Mona Lisa Smile My Best Friend's Wedding sorry I thought we were yelling out beloved Julia Roberts movies that actually suck pretty it sure is convenient that these three individuals launch at the same velocity and Arc perfectly into the same cart with just enough room between each other to not crack heads or break bones we've got to get back to the dinner party before Penny's parents realize she's missing you are in a time machine you do not have to worry about much time passes before you arrive at exactly the time you decide to arrive because I'm sitting here all day on my abundance I don't think that means share an Italian it doesn't technically means abundance but more important question is am I now to believe that they're speaking English and also occasionally using Italian words I was fine with just suspending my language disbelief and letting everyone speak American but then you had to go and throw in actual Italian and my Babble fish is getting confused she even smile asking a woman to smile for the camera the painting or really anytime hell asking anyone to smile no one should smile effort using algorithms we can extrapolate what is universally considered funny thus producing a formula that is scientifically certain to cause laughter it's the formula 53 + 16 over 20 * 21 to the power of -5 mil 38,8 cuz that would fit this movie just fine hold it right there no move no move she then does not hold the perfect Mile and relaxes into the disappointing grin we know if my calculations are correct this machine of ours should generate enough centrifugal force to send us home wait your fuel is centrifugal force traveling through time is just a natural result of physical motion that makes about as much sense as me charging my phone by throwing it out the window here's a boy B B let him out as a fun using the boys will be boys argument I'm serious Penny I don't know how to fly and considering this is a prototype from 1508 with no instructions included neither should cheap what you both should be proficient at by this point is dying I'm flying but Sherman you don't know how to fly I don't making someone lose a skill just because you make them doubt they have it AKA Matthew 14 in someone Starship Axiom being yourself across a room when you could just stand up and walk over effectively saving the human Reign from Mal forming into mushy pot people what's happening the writers decided that we needed more examples of how terrible father Mr Peabody is and gave us a black hole in space with which to punctuate that fact there's not enough power to resist the gravitational pole oh no wherever will we find some more centrifugal force at this time of day having four people drop out of the butt of the horse even though only one will go knock on the door because the priority isn't logic it's poop jokes also it appears that they've been teleported to an alternate reality where the Trojan Horse was not a myth but instead was part of reality great I am now even less excited about the outcome of this story are you ready to get on the field shermanus I see that Sherman survived the crash woke up and left his unconscious and possibly dead father and friend behind to run off into the night and join a war party so prepared to murder their enemy that they game with tiny spare armor neat how is adicus standing outside the hatch door the other guards had to shimmy up a rope is he both the myth and a hovercraft jeeez Louise what is that spell ball sweat Stacks and stacks of ball sweat FYI a lot of hero have father issues tell me about it this movie is a kids movie with a time traveling dog in it and still somehow managed to be about daddy issues pering Zack Snider when he's already doing a pretty decent job at doing that himself okay fine the math here checks out but when the did you have time ority to measure the radius of the wheel or count how many times it's revolving every minute and fine I lied I didn't check the math I hate math but I know you're pulling these numbers out of hores ass either way and now we're checking Peabody's bonafides and lassoing except considering its present day he hasn't placed in a single event in 14 years and now PE is calculating the length of rope needed to stop the horse which fine I guess it's not calculating time I'm worried about it's the measuring time how are you going to measure that rope to that exact length in the next few seconds I didn't see that in your calculations anywhere Mr Sparty poop my point again is death everyone is dead the end we've got a time machine Penny I can set it so that we'll get home when Mr Peabody is still there we finally arrived at the moment the moment when the time travel movie admits there are zero stakes and nothing matters because time machine equals god mode of course as far as they know this universe is Mr Peabody's mangled corpse is now strewn across the rocks of ancient Troy but fine go do the yada yada time travel dance to the kids to the kids kids at this exact moment in the previous timeline the first Sherman was whispering to Mr Peabody from the exact position having just returned from losing penny in Egypt so where is that Sherman now toga party yes it is a toga party scene does not actually contain a toga party Sherman I've got to get you out of here before you touch yourself we got masturbation jokes in the kids movie y'all I've seen quite enough to remove the boy both boys from this home yeah movie those kids up with the fear that they could be taken away from their parents if they bite a kid and have a qunu them all the way up hey where'd the other two go our Cosmic doubles combined in order to reconcile a paradox in the SpaceTime Continuum oh I don't know what just happened here but I know it was wrong me sending this movie's use of the SpaceTime Continuum somehow makes it into the script oh sure when I call the police about being bitten by a dog they tell me to call animal control but here they appear to be close enough to just ride the elevator up a couple flights looks like the past is coming to us a very selective group of people from the past that want to make a cameo wormholes man how do they work what why is she smiling at this that kid just plummeted to his death along with the previous Pals from the past Sherman is a murderer this Tran horse will fall with such force that it ruptures the pavement and obliterates itself but again the humans who fall out of the hole all survive and the movie will make zero effort at comforting my disbeliefs now apoplectic suspension how and why does Einstein already have a Rubik's Cube don't tase me bro says the man with no idea what tasing is what kind of a father could this dog ever be to a boy really is a bold choice to have your villain's primary flaw be not wanting animals to be allowed to parent children someday when this movie's on the wrong side of History I hope the wakeup call hits with Force I'm a dog too a dog dog no one chants bark bark bark in this scene I'm Spartacus hitting us over the head with your reference because you were afraid we didn't get it when it was happening but you can't change the law I know someone who can George Washington how do they know this is the real George how does anyone think he can change the law at any point in time without going through the proper legal process what is this fing movie doing also how did she know that George was going to step forward at that exact moment I've done worse too soon movie too soon ah sci-fi space spinter the sh that keeps on sh if we set the way back for the future and go very very fast we'll create our own gravitational field that's equal and opposite to the rip in the SpaceTime Continuum I mean honestly you could have just played the peanuts adult voice noise over this explanation and it would have made as much sense I need to reprogram the way back all right Mr pebody that means you have to drive a single father has to learn to trust that his adventurous son can do things on his own and let him go is every animated movie Just Finding Nemo now and if so why isn't this one called Mr Peabody Sherman 42 wabby Way Sydney Australia are you ready Sherman I'm ready says the kid that is currently not looking at where he is driving this pavement stays damaged as the Sphinx nose Rises but just seconds ago we saw the Trojan Horse put the road back together when it left re is mine salt and kidnapping also the SpaceTime Continuum continues its capriciousness by putting everything back where it goes except the villain who apparently Has A Spacetime all excess pass yes Mr Peabody I love skip no doubt about it every dog should have a boy limiting animal parenting rights to a single gender of child also assuming everyone should have a kid just cuz you're somehow enjoying it so they can't exist with their past selves or they'll merge together and create a rift but people in the past can have knowledge and items from the future and that doesn't the timeline got it also cester will probably have something to say about this you go in the hall time travel can be a bit unpredictable I don't want to talk about time travel cuz if we start talking about it then we're going to be here all day talking about it making diagrams with straws it's an the Beast will make off with your children he'll come after them in the night we're not safe till his head is mounted on my wall I say we kill the Beast what is it a whistle what heck I hope I've made myself clear crystal where's Penny playing hideand-seek pooping pooping PL hide and seek poop it was poop I Got It Bad dates the port while SC play I mean pay oh my but in the Latin alphabet Jehovah begins with an [Music] ey what are you doing up there I'm flying but Sherman you don't know how to fly you think you could do these things but you can't Nemo yeah tell me about it no no it's not you she's not the easiest person to get close to Mr PE body look I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me yes what is it Sherman why not go to the future the future Conan

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 168,331

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review

Id: SNjJQsLFaQQ

Length: 20min 49sec (1249 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 11 2024