dads trying to read a restaurant menu

so you look this is a nice restaurant it's got 4.2 on camp tell you what i got a 4.2 last night dui you're always getting no scoop for me uh alcoholism right it's pretty wobbly huh bad craftsmanship is that oak it's plaster some plants do what kind of woody yeah this table's about as stable as my family drugs your kids are bad influences oh man i would put my wallet under there but the ex-wife actually drained that not having a lot of money did you bring that coupon that good kubtens group groupon groupie group yarns group no i forgot them at home ah i'm just joshing with you jokester these flowers are about as fake as my ex's boobs that i paid for hong kong oh there you come all right guys here you go take your time i'll be over here what the hell what where's all the goddamn words like oh goodness gracious what kind of friend is this oh [ __ ] somebody turn the subtitles on where's the what's going on here i can't read the gustar thing i can't zoom in i can't see anything here the binoculars aren't helping here he's looking at the menu he can't see the menu what size fun is this [ __ ] sir soy chicken thai fried rice it's not that small gluten free or not is my time time gonna hurt it's worse than my daughter's ipad what movie is this honey i shrunk the fat where are you coming we need to get lighter up in here and tell it to my ex-wife too i need a bigger light and i ain't talking course or am i i can't see a goddamn oh [ __ ] i got this one at lowe's this isn't the renaissance who do you work for i think i got the perfect situation going on here greg here we go directing traffic why are the words so goddamn small huh what are you a baby sir this is a restaurant not spirit airlines you got any viagra these words need to grow some i can't read a darn thing on this it's like the 10th grade all over again god damn it called batman because it's a dark knight i can't see any damn things some [ __ ] god is this in cursive what is this oh [ __ ] did this lighting have a goddamn four loko because it is black out in here that looks like some sort of chow mein maybe okay we're getting there buddy sir it's soy chicken thai fried rice we can read it to you like a bedtime story does that sound okay damn it this is this is this oh [ __ ] is this yours yeah this is nuts home depot it's got good grip on it i like it i feel like i'm at tsa you got any medals on you zing zing zing nope that's just my hip what is this gosh darn hieroglyphics or something is this wingdings edc relax all right we got lights what does edc even stand for erectile dysfunctioning [ __ ] god damn it who made this menu john cena because i can't seen a [ __ ] oh this isn't even english is it here greg should we roll for this it is oh gosh it is he's not gonna break son of a bee sting garlic darn it what do we gotta do to get him to break get a kit kat bar how about abby the good dad you beat the bad dad good dad bad dad let's do it good handshake that's a great firm handshake oh yeah i love the stress ball with my wife who the hell do you work for we need to know what the appetizers are i still can't sell do you want a bad yelp review bucko cause i got one coming you smell that that's a 3.5 star review you're lucky i don't even know how to use yelp or you would be in trouble buddy i'll show you he's not going to talk i'm going in greg [ __ ] s-o-s somebody save our stomachs because i can't read a damn thing on this [ __ ] this is worse than those emojis my ex-wife sent to the neighbor tom what the frickin eggplant getting wet for guys if it's any easier you can just pull it up on your phone and zoom in use the phone oh that's a good idea that's a good idea here we go oh no i forgot my passcode oh god dana we're back here again darn stupid darn phone the hell does this even say why can't it just be like flip phones back in the day what do you mean to me devil siri all right guys let me guess we got two coors lights and a basket of egg rolls so you're good yeah that works yeah that sounds good actually yeah should have said something earlier [Music] all right there you go there we go look at that okay home improvement huh much sturdier this place just went from a 3.5 to a 3.7 ah my wife hates me yeah very cool make that 37 coors lights please

Channel: Trevor Wallace

Views: 391,388

Rating: 4.9813643 out of 5

Keywords: trevor wallace, trevor walace, travis wallace, white claw, kyle, monster, bang energy, trevor wallace cherdleys

Id: VEfz1B3opbI

Length: 5min 8sec (308 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 16 2021