I Look Young

[Music] one glass of water please hey punk this here bar is for adults only you gotta be at least 18 years old to be in here so hit the road actually i'm 20 years old and here's my id nice try little man there ain't no way a small fry like you is 20. now get out before i make you if you don't believe it then die by my blade i'm the best blade master you'll ever see pip squeak so prepare to die please mercy thank you [Music] i'm a big boy now hi i'm bryson and i look younger than i actually am i'm 20 now and i look like i'm 15. so whenever i tell someone my age it goes like this what no why are you 20. you look and sound way younger stop lying [Music] [Applause] it's kind of annoying being a late bloomer but i've been told it'll work out later in life so knock on wood yeah i sound young but you know who else sounds young mickey mouse and he's over 90 years old and guess what everyone loves him huh hiya everyone i'm mickey mouse don't forget to subscribe right donald some of you guys turn 12 and then boom adult i guess i'm just getting an adult mind first and then an adult body later which i guess is a good thing my brain may be smooth and dumb but it's learning how to be an adult but it's still smooth yeah you know i've got a tiny body and a tiny brain no silver lining here this just sucks [Music] i don't know although i still look really young due to my chronic baby face i actually have been growing these past few years i'm actually decently tall now however only my legs grew my torso stayed tiny but my legs got really long which i think we can all find hilarious my bryson what long legs you have the better to kick you with even though i'm a normal height my face still looks like a 12 year old as i've been told by everyone ever you look really young tiny work out later you're small you look young you know i know i got it i got the concept in order to prevent people from saying stuff i've heard a million times whenever someone asks me my age i try to prep them like we are very late bloomers in my family i look way younger than i actually am don't poop your pants or anything just be cool okay i'm 20 years old but then they poop their pants anyway so i have to execute them anyway on to the stories so there i was at a dance with some friends it was a rare occasion where you could spot a wild bryson outside of his natural habitat the house anyway a slow song comes along and me and my friends awkwardly awkwardly anyway a slow song comes on and me and my friends awkwardly ask some girls to dance so we're there dancing so uh what color is your toothbrush mine's blue and she asks how old are you i'm 18. this was two years ago mind you no you're not yes i am no you're not so i shuffle this over to my friend travis tell her i'm 18. she doesn't believe me yeah he's not lying he really is 18. no he isn't so we just awkwardly finished the dance and then never saw each other again and that's why i hate women and that's why i hate dances this other time i was on a plane and we were seated in the exit row and if you didn't know you have to be a certain age to sit there and you have to agree to open the plane and save everyone if it crashes if this plane crashed i would be the one to save all of you thank you for your hypothetical service sir anyway i was sitting there and i had my id ready because i knew what was coming next excuse me sir how old are you i am old enough to be sitting here and here's my id to prove it i'm a super breed of human that ages slower and lives longer don't you ever question my power again now perish [Music] okay this next story requires a lot of context but it's worth it so here i go two years ago i was involved in a volunteer humanitarian youth group where we all raised money to travel to india bring supplies and medical care and teach children how to speak english and you guys watching my videos is actually how i paid for it so thanks for that anyways it was a formative experience for me and i learned a lot through teaching and bonding with those kids in a new country even though it was about 96 hours of travel time it was all worth it for the kids so here's the story after a long day of teaching i was sitting on the floor in the dinky hotel we were staying in in my jammies after a bucket bath just thinking about life when suddenly an unfamiliar woman walked through the hallway and looked at me hello little boy how old are you seven what and then she went and talked to everyone but when she was done she walked past my room again and said goodbye seven yet another reason why i hate women apparently she was a friend of one of our translators and she was some kind of social media influencer and a few days later some of the other members of the group started talking about her she was kind of rude she was really egotistical left a bad taste in my mouth she was so networky she only wanted to talk to me to get me to follow her on facebook i hated her from day one so it felt really nice to have everyone else get on the same page and realize that she sucked bryson i feel like the whole killing joke is going a little too far anytime someone disagrees with you you just kill them it has become repetitive and detrimentally unfunny please consider cutting it while we're on the topic of india here's a couple more stories while teaching a puppy showed up at the school and even though we weren't allowed to pet all the dogs there i broke the rules to hold the puppy because look at him he's so cute but then the puppy totally imprinted on me followed me around everywhere and fell asleep in my backpack during playtime one of the children grabbed my arm and started jumping up and down and then suddenly all of them started doing that and i literally got mobbed and dog piled by them marijuana grew everywhere there and i grabbed some and fed it to a cow just thought i should share the next day the cow found the whole marijuana bush and ate the whole thing that milk and those babies are gonna be crazy bro my milk tastes like colors i learned that the toilets there are literally just holes in the ground so that was a humbling experience seriously the toilet's there change a person i'm a changed man this joseph guy was allergic to peanuts and then he ate a peanut and started dying and then our medic literally saved his life also when we got home he got run over by a car and was fine i don't know he just doesn't die i guess it's been two years though so i can joke about it on a bus home the girl katie next to me threw up all over her backpack and i helped her clean it up and she said it was really nice of me to stay sitting next to her even after she threw up but then we got home and she got married to someone who wasn't me so thanks a lot katie this is why i hate women okay we're way off track what was this video about again looking young okay right since i'm 20 now since i'm 20 now i'm hastily looking forward to turning 21 because then i want to go into a bar and order a beer to see how the bartender and bystanders react one beer please nice try squirt but you ain't old enough here's my id driver's license birth certificate and social security number now give me the beer i'm never actually gonna drink alcohol but i just want to see what will happen if i try to if i do get the beer i'll just give it to someone else in the bar drinks are on me but bryson why would you buy a beer if you're not even gonna drink it that's a waste of money it's not about the money it's about sending a message i hope the bartender doesn't call the cops on me though son there ain't no way you're old enough to drink officer please look at my id too bad cause we don't double check to end this video off i'm gonna try one little itty bitty sip of the beer i worked so hard to get hey you do you have ears well boy do i have something special for you sponsor time have you heard of audible yes well you're hearing about it again audible has thousands upon thousands upon thousands of audiobooks whoa that's a lot that's enough books to crush my frail human body but it all fits inside your phone look at all that knowledge i know my brain could use some knowledge look how empty my head is but now i can fill this space with awesome books in the form of audio i mean audiobooks a book i recommend is michael vay it's about a kid with electric powers i've always been a fan of characters with electric powers and you should be too but bryson i don't have any money then give it a try for free you hear that zero dollars new members get to try audible for 30 days for free just go to audible.com hammonations or text hammonations to 500 500. do it did you do it yes bryson i did it and now i am enjoying amazing audiobooks what a good little obedient viewer you are have a gold star and a kiss again that's audible.com hammonations or text hammonations to 500 500. thanks for watching [Music] you

Channel: Haminations

Views: 20,818,775

Keywords: Haminations, Young, Beer, One Beer Please, I Look Young, Funny, Ham, India, jokes, Bar Tender, Big boy, Bryson, Short, Audible

Id: OyDLuom4KGs

Length: 11min 7sec (667 seconds)

Published: Sat May 22 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/EYEBR0WSE]

Because people that haven’t done drugs confuse everything with extreme trips on psychedelics.