Dads Always Mess With Their Daughters Boyfriends (r/AskReddit)

fathers offered it what is the best way you have messed with the daughter's boyfriend when meeting him the first thing my ex's dad said to me was you can sleep in my daughter's bed tonight and I replied thanks you two because I was too nervous a mate was arrested for drug possession by his girlfriend's police officer father he was going to be introduced to the family that weekend anyway would have loved to be a fly on the wall that evening boyfriend hello future father-in-law first of all I want to apologize for my twin brother he is the black sheep of the family and in no way representative of my all my parents values and culture the first time I met my girlfriend's father he picked us both up and was driving us to his house so we could stay the weekend after a few minutes of driving he told us he had to make a stop on the way there he pulled up outside a house that looked like there was some work being done on it and one of the guys came up to the car and said hello my girlfriend's dad handed over this fat envelope of cash to the guy and the guy gave him a clear blue plastic bag full of this white powder which my girlfriend's dad threw in the back with us at this point I'm pretty freaked the freaked out because I'm fairly convinced that my girlfriend's dad just paid a load of money for a bag full of coke but I try to act cool my girlfriend's dad is like I can trust you not to say anything right and I'm like yeah sure because I don't want to get freaking killed or something so about 15 minutes later into the journey my girlfriend just bursts out laughing and they tell me it was all just a prank my girlfriend's dad owned the property being worked on and had to pay the workers for it and had staged that the worker was gonna give him a big bag of washing powder to freak me out it was a pretty hilarious and harmless prank and we laugh about it now he's a cool guy plot twist they were too worried you were going to knock about it so they lied to you and told you it was a prank while they've been pushing bricks for years now I asked him for three forms of it he was 14 mid-30s and I don't even have three forms of it beat him up in battlefield and a few other videogames I'm almost 50 and have been a gamer since my early teens I have more experience with games than he has as a teen this isn't too fricking with me this is he bonding with me immediately I had a boyfriend named Nelson my dad took great pleasure in doing Nelson's laughs from The Simpsons whenever my boyfriend came over we didn't last long I wasn't the father I was the boyfriend I wanted to take my girlfriend out to see a movie but she said that I had to meet her dad first her dad runs the local farmers market so I had to stop by that morning luckily it was winding down because after an awkward hello he put his hand on my shoulder and led me around and introduced me to everyone at all the stands now for an introvert as myself this would have been bad enough but no as he was introducing me to everyone he used random female names for me hi there so and so this here's Stephanie and he's taking my daughter on her first date hey guys meet Martha he's taking my daughter out it was kind of funny afterwards well my current girlfriend told me about how her dad answered the door to her junior year homecoming date her first boyfriend with a shotgun on his shoulder five years later I visited her at her parents house for the first time I had met them briefly when they visited us at the University so I knew them a little bit when I pulled into their driveway she texted me to come in through the garage door and knock with a smiley face at the end I figured her dad was going to pull the same thing on me turns out it was just so their dogs wouldn't freak out she answered the door and her dad greeted me shortly after with a warm handshake and a plethora of snacks he had made in preparation for the football games that afternoon I felt at home pretty quickly not the dad but the boy he challenged me to a game of Monopoly under the impression that he was an incredible player and kept giving me drinks kept acting like I needed to prove my worth through the game to his credit he did beat the rest of his family by the end I was a drunken owner on hotels on almost every street all the stations and utilities he respected my brutal corporate efficiency that day no matter what the boy's name is shake his hand politely and say it's great to see you again Jared note this has not been tested with a boy actually named Jared yet the first time I met my ex's dad he had just had surgery I think I was 15 at the time and while I was waiting for her he asked me if I would go into the study and put on some music and make him a drink I got him a single jameson with one ice cube because that's what my Irish family members drank and I knew he was a Hibernian and I put on a Fleetwood Mac record because he had an awesome player setup that was him testing me apparently he told me later that I passed because I didn't just plug my phone into their auxiliary cord and grab him a beer I hung out with him once way later on after his daughter and I had broken up and he ordered me a Jameson with a single ice cube on his way out of the bar but look I don't know what you are into but you know I was the first guy who she ever peed on and I still cherish that memory this wasn't my dad but my brother I brought my bf home for a week over the summer we are in college and live in separate states were not at school and I was very excited for him to meet my family I had already met his and they were pretty cool my parents were very nice and normal to him but when we sat down for dinner that night my brother who was two years younger than me came downstairs chatted normally for a bit then said wait here he runs up to his room and comes back down about five minutes later with a stack of papers and a pen and said sit down in front of my bf it's a quiz it was a quiz a little quiz and he had typed out he made him put his name in the date and everything the questions were divided into three categories sports music and movies they were all things my brother considered vital for my BF to know if he ever wanted to truly belong to my family my bf being the cool guy that he is took it all in stride and only got two wrong on the whole 30 question quiz with no preparation or studying at all my family was suitably impressed and he's still around a year and a half later and the daughter dad and his best friend dressed up in speedos mowed the lawn BB queued held hands sang horribly off-key together and nicknamed the poor soul Mick Big Mac he stopped hanging out with me after that dad and his best friend still do weird crap like this together and they are my favorite people right dad's best friend was the boyfriend walked into the cleaning the guns gag he asked what are your intentions with my daughter and without missing a beat because I sometimes lack a filter I replied the Pens what do you think I can get away with her mother laughed so hard she dropped a glass and broke it called him the wrong name the whole time the same name on purpose boyfriend now husband came over to meet her extended family for Thanksgiving sat down next to her uncle he looks over at me and says I'm gay you know and stares at me I replied back with me too and moved closer to him practically sat on his lap I like this guy being married to her for two years and been together for eight years now her family is hilarious dota here first time I bring my bf to my hometown we visit my parents my mom tries to stuff him with food while my dad excitedly describes the great deal he got on my sister's new car my boyfriend comes to join me in the middle of this and my dad stops looks him dead in the eye and excitedly says want to see something cool he then proceeds to get on the computer and turns the screen to my boyfriend and I we are greeted with a picture of my dad when he was 21 shirtless and flexing I begin to cover my face in embarrassment as my dad looks excitedly at my boyfriend for a response my boyfriend simply says you look good man pretty sure my dad did this to embarrass me instead of mess with my boyfriend but did put him in a pickle for a second there my boyfriend now makes jokes about how hot my dad is just to embarrass me more I call this the worst first date experience thanks to my dad I had moved to a new school in the third grade and fell in elementary love with a boy wearing those pants that unzip to reveal shorter pants or shorts it was not until the fifth grade after endless dari entry isn't tampered with mash outcomes that my crush finally asked me out on a date my dad immediately said no and I sobbed I sobbed and sobbed until my mother talked my dad into letting me go the only problem was he was coming too I decided not to tell my crush that my father would be attending the date with us but instead pretended to be just as confused as he was that an older man was sitting directly behind us during the movie the movie was just married my poor crush tried to put his arm around me and I felt my face flush as a voice from behind us said and you want to keep that arm my father lasts to this day about how far we were leaning away from each other after that and is very pleased with himself that he ended any affectionate advances what my dad doesn't know is that we kissed every recess after that date until our terribly dramatic breakup on the soccer field I will wordlessly toss a freshly killed fish at him if he catches it he can stay for a time and this is why Walmart banned you from the seafood aisle I went to tell my new father-in-law that I was serious with his daughter and intended to marry her he interpreted it as me asking for his permission and told me now isn't the right time maybe in a few years that really messed me up good guy language barrier it all worked out in the end we hosted a beautiful teenaged exchange student for a year when a boy came to take her to her dance I look down at him and said in roughly these words I am responsible for her right now it's her real father is even bigger than me and you don't want to do anything that would pay off both of us not a father but if I have a daughter I want to dress like a clown and say I'm off to work brother to the sister that brought him home my old man wrote his name on a 12-gauge shell and set it on the mantel above the fireplace and said nothing it was about halfway through dinner before he noticed it I've never seen a face gift so white so quick in all my life they are married now shell is still sitting there I was the boyfriend in this case but this one has always stuck with me everyone knows the old dad is cleaning his gun cliche well this is a slightly different variation of that he was polishing a sledgehammer it turned out he was actively just screwing with me and didn't cur but I had to give him credit for creativity and for leaving me at an absolute loss when I walked into their living room and saw that gleam from the shiny hammer I was the boyfriend my girlfriend warned me that her dad liked to be sitting in his chair cleaning the shotgun whenever one of the girls brought a boy over to meet the parents she told me that the gun was a relic and had been disabled or deactivated or some dang thing don't remember the exact term she said he was real proud of it and said it was a Springfield something or other so I walked in and there he was I said hey nice Springfield something or other and asked if I could hold it he handed it to me and I looked at it and said when did you have it deactivated the girls who were all watching smiled he wasn't amused especially after he started a discussion about guns and it was clear I didn't know anything about them he eventually figured out that she warned me and he was none too pleased with how bold I was I just thought it was funny that was the start of a long and rocky relationship with that man much to his dismay I married his daughter now that I am the dad I grill the boyfriends about what my daughter has told them about me and her mother my being a forensic investigator is not something my daughter's usually led with I have found and my comments about knowing how to make it look accidental I usually met with some level of clenching my dad is very good at ED panning upon meeting my boyfriend dad told him that he was too tall he is almost 7 feet he wasn't sure if my dad was messing with him or was actually serious I had to explain later that a good portion of what dad says should be taken with a grain of salt my dad has told every single one of the guys I've brought home even if there were just friends that he's not afraid to go back to jail my dad has never been to jail my daughters are 2 and 4 when my eldest was born I started working out again I've found the best inspiration on days when I'm feeling lazy is to imagine myself as some nearly mythical title ripping the door off its hinges to greet some poor kid intent on taking my daughter on a date so my plan is long-term and I'll check back and let you all know how it goes my poor poor creted my aunt's boyfriend with a single gun shot out the front door into the old gutted truck about 20 yards from the main driveway he still fires off a greeting shot when they come in from out of town 17 years later I'm trying to decide if that sounds more West Virginia or Alabama my father used to make sure he was working his heavy bag when anyone came over to pick up my sister's he'd shake the whole gang house obligatory not a father but my co-worker just walked up to his daughters new boyfriend took a picture of his face with his phone and said may be good to have and walked away I made up again I call them by a different name every time I address them God is to see how many names I can call them before they correct me record is 27 in one visit my dad always calls my boyfriend's watch his face until he gains respect for the guy my current boyfriend just recently got his name privilege which has happened I think twice when I brought my first real boyfriend home for dinner for the first time I forgot to mention that my dad was also home for dinner he's a policeman and comes home for meals so we rock up and there's a police car in the driveway it's normal for me but my boyfriend's face was literally I'm the boyfriend in this situation was at my gfs house her dad saw me walked up to me and said who the Frick are you and then proceeded to follow me around practically touch my face with his until I left fortunately he was electronically tagged and couldn't follow me out of the house just for your information he was tagged for sticking up for kids being beaten up by other men dirt how can you in your right mind not give more context to this story boyfriend of a girl with two dads I've yet to meet a real father and she doesn't want me to he's a huge dong that cheated on her mom then fled across the country her stepdad I see on a somewhat regular basis he's a character that's for sure we told our parents about our relationship about 2-3 weeks ago and first thing he does is shake my hand with a grip that's way too hard for normal then takes me aside and asks what my intentions is with his daughter while asking this he's gripping his hand around my neck it should be noted I'm a big kid I'm 6 foot 1 and like 200 pounds I'm not easily intimidated at that moment this man scared the crap out of me as I was trying to muster up an answer her drops his hand and hugs me and tells me he's messing with me and that I should have seen my face needless to say she doesn't like him much either was the boyfriend wanted to take gf on a date but she said her dad had to meet me first he was a single dad so it's not like her mom would have been there to hold him back or anything and dude was pretty buff my GF goes in her room while her dad sits me down on the couch and sits across from me not saying a word but looking straight into my eyes the whole time 15-year old me was pretty shaken he finally says I'm going to make this short anything you do to my daughter I'm going to do to you we just held hands up day I have a little girl in pre-k but there's this kid who always messes with her and I think he has a crush on her he's a little crap though pulls hair takes toys etc and apparently he hates chocolate flavored things so at baby girl's birthday he was invited and I made sure we had chocolate everything chocolate cake chocolate icing chocolate ice cream and to top it off chocolate kisses in the goodie bags my kid loved chocolate so it has justified but I took perverse satisfaction and frickin with this little punk you've been visited by the old seeing dog us good visions will come to you but only if you comment watch me poppers if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 188,187

Rating: 4.9537826 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, fathers, parent, parents, daughter, son, boyfriend, girldfriend, teen, teens

Id: jPOPH68gqvw

Length: 17min 44sec (1064 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 26 2019