Middle School Teachers, What Cringey Things Have Your Students Done? (r/AskReddit)

middle school teachers what is the crankies thing you've seen a student do director off technology here I don't really have much to do with the kids at the school I work at but I definitely have a cringy moment called down to the middle school from my office to debug a problem for a teacher the classrooms in this building all have two doors one door opens into the building hallways the other opens to the outside my office is across a field from the middle school so I decide to just cut across the field and enter the side door to the classroom instead of going all the way around the field and entering the classroom from the hallway bear in mind that these outside doors are almost never used by anyone except for an occasional fire drill I opened the door and step in to see a room full of students facing away from me and towards their teacher the student closest to me scrambles to click X on her browser but not before I see full-on hardcore yayoi gente did I mention I work at a Christian private school she turns bright red and with visibly trembling hands she closes her laptop lid I burst out laughing which interrupted the class the teacher looks to me in questioning confusion and the students stare in silence I casually walked over to her and said loudly enough for the classroom to hear let's not look at memes and Facebook jokes at school guys her flush red face contorted with fear suddenly relaxed her trembling hand stilled I laughed again and went and debunked the wireless access point issue I was cooled down for no point getting her expelled over hormonal changes in curiousity dude you saved that poor girl's existence if people she knew found out about that and she got punished her for it she would have wanted to die Valentine's Day and a boy brings a girl a dozen roses they were both in my homeroom so I watched this all go down right in front of me I had literally never seen these two have a conversation before either girl didn't know what to do with roses at 7:00 a.m. so she threw the roses in the trashcan literally 20 seconds after it happened and went on her merry way the boy never found out we had this one kid in our eighth grade class stick his entire hand in a cake that was being passed around for grab a Chunkin started eating it like a Neanderthal it was chocolate and his face was covered when he finished his chunk of cake with everyone looking in disgust II then proceeded to lick every finger it was torture watching he also ended up being the kid not threatened to blow up the school at the end of the year I had a kid carve his own name in his desk but he couldn't figure out how we caught him so what you're saying is that I should carve other kids names into the desks around the 8th grade dance season they call it prom there is a whole lot of kraang genus roaming the halls one popular tactic among the boys was explained to me we asked the girl to prom and then we run away so she can't say number taps temple I caught the student on Google search attempting to look me up he spelled my name wrong and my name is very common so I wasn't worried I sent him home since it was an after-school homework Club and then went through the rest of the history which included boobs naked women Megan Fox nudes and Megan Fox panties one of the other students in the class kind of picked up on what was happening and mentioned that he has also been kicked out of the public library for similar reasons once a friend of mine described his quest as a kid breaking into puberty trying to figure out pee he described how he would google boobs and variable equivalents and not getting much it was honestly the most relatable and funny story ever he was telling it in spiritual life class there was always this kid that would go up to guys shake their hands and deeply sniffing necks one day a teacher asked why he did this to guys and all he said was if I did it to girls it would be weird to be fair the kid had a point I once offered a boy of my little pony color by number sheet ran out of Super Mario with the voice response mister I'm not gay I'm a lesbian I like girls well done Sall a student right boy cause of the whiteboard thinking nobody was looking he's had enough for Chan for now I think I was demonstrating convection which included burning some newspaper one kid piped up with hum that smells like incest he meant incense they were too young to get it but I nearly died trying not to laugh maybe that kids siblings burn newspaper while they smash my husband teaches English at a middle school he brought some creative writing assignments home to grade and since I'm an assistant teacher for much younger humans kindergarten he drafted me into helping him sort through the mess and grade them we've made good progress through the stack when I pick up a paper that had a kiss mark near the name in lipstick okay that sword bit I'm used to working with kids who are only just figuring out bathroom habits a little lipstick on a report is hardly weird in my book plus middle school then I see the name hung who is our husband without missing a beat or is this goth kid who looks like a rainbow threw up on him after having marathon sex with a unicorn I look back at the kiss mark get a lipstick nice shade choice if the kid is going for goth pale I read his creative writing assignment I get a pathway through to go pour myself more wine it's extremely well-written gay pee featuring my husband and another teacher at the school well the kid is going places I don't know what those places are but he's going places I had a student who would constantly butt into people's conversations and when they asked him to mind his own business he'd stand up and proclaim nobody likes me everyone thinks I'm so annoying however and he laughs while everyone awkwardly stared at him another kid literally told me one time that he would just act annoying so that he could impress a certain group of boys so they were not impressed well at least he's honest with himself I had a sixth grader liquor book he definitely tried to keep it on the DL so he looked around made sure no one was looking in his direction and then licked the book it was a tongue poke then a full-out lick up the spine of the book I had a classmate who had to give a presentation using PowerPoint so there is a computer hooked up to a projector that is pointed at a screen that fills the wall this guy sticks his USB with his presentation and the computer and it automatically loads the images he had on it in a gallery he had a full folder of pictures of girls from his class he had downloaded from Facebook that was kinda awkward my mom is a middle school English teacher once a student snuck a bar of soap into her class ate it and proceeded to run out of the classroom and start vomiting apparently he did it to impress his friends one of the kids responded to questions like Pikachu shame that a good kid is going to look back on those days with absolute horror joke's on you she never let anyone stop her from reaching her dreams and now she is a Rachel not a student in particular but a whole bunch of them I was a substitute teacher for a few years on my university breaks but last January was the worst middle school day I've ever had eighth-grade science class I asked the kids to open their textbooks and work on the assignment a girl shyly raises her hand and says miss there's something inappropriate in my book of course some kid drew a dong I calmly tell her to erase it and move on three more kids say the same thing I say if you have something inappropriate in your book please just erase it every kid starts whining about how there's dongs in their books since they won't shut up about it I take the offending books and replace them with different books from the back of the room every single book had a huge dong drawn in it all 90-something of them crudely drawn dongs artistic dongs Squidward freaking Sponge Bob you name it it was there the kids rioted I almost quit I taught fourth grade last year and I had a student who was 12 years old middle school age held back a few years which he always did very odd things to try to impress her classmates that they were relatively tame until there was a line in the bathroom and she took her pants off squatted over the trashcan and beat four or five girls came running out of the bathroom and told on her I once confiscated what I first thought was a note being passed in class it turned out to be a gay fanfic one of my students wrote pairing two of her classmates had an eighth-grade girl pretend to pass out because she was upset she got written up for screaming that another girl was a fricking B in the middle of a science lesson then got upset when that other girl didn't also get in trouble for looking at her wrong in the dean's office she was so upset that she pretended to faint complete with back of the palm to the phorid and rheumatic exhale and then laid on the floor until we were forced to call an ambulance before the ambulance came mom walked in she worked right across the street and said dammit Jennifer were not doing this again so evidently this was a regular happening around their house at this point the girl squinted her eyes open but refused to actually get up when the squad got there they checked her vitals and basically knew she was fine they had to take her because we can't take chances with his stuff in schools we all just kind of looked at each other and shrugged so yeah that was Krinkie we get drug seekers who fake seizures a lot this medic once told me about an addict who called him over to the doorway after bringing one in and says watch this before saying loud enough for the patient who was faking a seizure right then I'm not sure if it's a real seizure because she didn't pee her pants right on cue she pisses herself I will relay a short story that my 7th grade Byam teacher told us in that class we dissected a cow eyeball the year before us a student pocketed the lens of the eye looks like a yellowish hard thing about the size of a peanut M&M in his next class he stood up and swallowed it in front of everyone another teacher told me about a student he had who would come to school in different costumes ninja soldier et Cie and stay in character the whole day I do not remember the details but there was an incident in which he threw throwing stars during a talent show in sixth grade science class our teacher asked if anyone knew what the arms of an octopus were called and this kid immediately raised his hand and blurted out testicles everyone was laughing including the teacher who also snorted his face was so red kid wore clothes to school with the price tags sticking out when asked why I was informed that this was to let everyone know he was wearing new clothes you should tell them that it doesn't really count unless you staple the sales slip to the front of your shirt a girl got herself off in class using the edge of the seat not discreet either as many of her peers had a WTF look on their faces this girl was sweating hard seriously most uncomfortable office meeting and parent conference I work for a private school this middle schooler recently started dating another one the girl decided to come to school in a black leather miniskirt and black leather tank top combo at recess which I watched because it's a small school she was dancing all around in front of her boyfriend and hanging of the fence ale a stripper it was hilarious and so cringy I had a student from a conservative Muslim family wear white see-through sweet pants with a visible black thong or underneath she brought the clothes to school and change in the bathroom before class started not me thank God but my stepmom caught a kid jacking off during class I'm having a flashback to the time I was in middle school and we were watching a movie in science and it's completely dark in the room I decide to scan the room to see who's actually paying attention barely anyone only to see the weird kid with his hand in his pants staring as the science teacher one students wanted to ask me if I had a doppelganger what he actually said was do you have a dingleberry I also had a girl ask me what food stamps were which isn't surprising because the district is very affluent I explained that she still seemed confused so she asked what it means to blow a trucker for food stamps evidently she was reading a book meant for a more mature audience and her worldly knowledge hadn't caught up to her reading level yet we had a student who started going to each class he passed leaning in the door and yelling mom's sphaghetti and moving on bed that's made everyone a bit nervous they were talking about dankmemes which were about band class bTW I was told mrs. confuzzled yep don't look up dankmemes okay I told them that I had been on the internet since before they were born I was born into the dankness I was molded by it you merely adopted the dankness by the time you found B I was already a man there was the student who had his hands in his pants moving his hand up and down almost to a rhythm that was cringy I just stared at him in the eye till he noticed that I knew and then he stopped I had one of those he wasn't allowed to wear pants or shorts with elastic waistbands after a while I organized an activity that was sort of like never have I ever but positive and meant to build empathy basically a student would say you're in my Botev and whatever they say that is the same as you you have to stand up and find another chair great activity one of the girls who I often found puzzling because she just didn't said things that were nonsensical started her period and got blood all over multiple chairs some kids start looking at the seats and have no idea what's going on the girls and the class figure it out but don't say anything they just avoid said tainted chairs the boys however are as dumb as a box of rocks and are touching it and sitting in the seats I'm sitting there horrified since one that's disgusting - I didn't initially know who was pulling a carryin three how the heck do I nonchalantly stop the activity to get this vile hazard cleaned up and no one really notices after a short observation of the students I noticed that the one girl was the unfortunate cause of all this I told her that she was to do a favor for me and I stepped outside I asked her if she knew that she started her period and she said yes I sent her to the office and then went back in the room for damage control I honestly don't know how I concocted a magical excuse but I told all the kids that we were invited to go to the library for silent reading but had to go now because all the good squishy seats would be taken if they didn't hustle they believed me and I sent them down there a few girls stayed behind that figured out what happened and I told them I knew and sent them as well I finally get on the phone and informed the unfortunate janitor about the bloodbath in my room when I had my period at school I was constantly paranoid about standing up and they're being blood all over my chair it happening while playing some kind of weird musical chairs is like some horrific nightmare not sure if this counts had a student projectile vomit in the middle of class this is in middle school poor girl sat in the middle of the room vomit managed to get into the seats next to in front of and behind her own somehow so much barf and so much shame in that little girl but then she didn't want to go to the office she just wiped off her mouth and wanted to stay this student spent an entire semester speaking in a Russian accent foreign experiment no one questioned him first day back from winter break he is back to talking normal we were all incredibly confused and his parents ended up going to the superintendent about our school allowing bullying a Korean guy at my high school randomly started talking in a British accent around junior year and kept it up until graduation sometimes he would talk in his normal voice I teach history and let my students do a PowerPoint presentation on the history on anything some kid did the history of furries he came to class wearing his fur suit I teach high school now I teach eighth grade this student had talked to me previously in private about how the girl he liked was in my class the same period he was he said that they had almost dated when they were both at their previous school before transferring to the one where I teach on top of that all the other students were aware that he had a major crush on this girl so one day he finished his class walk early and apparently he just couldn't take the hormones raging inside of him anymore he blurts out loud enough for everyone in class to hear look girls name are you gonna date me or what I pretend to work through this while cringing so hard on the inside I see every other stood and the room worked through this from shock to laughter to pure amazement and curiosity as to both why he will choose this moment and what's on earth her response would be of the girl very politely said I'm just not looking for a relationship right now thanks for asking though former middle school teacher here during state testing I had a student who wet his pants they didn't say anything so he sat in a puddle of his own pee for several hours had a kid who legitimately believed he was a Sith like from Star Wars his helicopter mom would come flying down to the school crying religious discrimination if you told him otherwise he would relax his throat and talk in a deep voice and say it was his real voice but he disguised his voice to not scare his human brethren on free dressed days he'd wear an all denim outfit with high waters and denim vest over a denim shirt I had him for science so he'd blurt out things about alchemy from an anime he was into whenever we were working with the periodic table he also had a girlfriend who lived in Mexico who was also his cousin humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return to obtain something of equal value must be lost that is Alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange in those days we really believed that to be the world's one and only truth a bunch of kids bought collared shirts so they could pop in like Nick Crumpton after 10 years of middle school I should had a novels worth however so many years of middle-school decimates your brain until someone else said middle schoolers are generally cranky most of the time the kid who wrote mrs. sharp Annette loves cockys on the board when he sincerely meant to write cookies definitely ranks high up there though we all cringed that day I agree with the desensitization that comes with being a middle school teacher I've taught eighth grade for 10 years I really don't have one cringe moment that really stands out they just become part of normal life in an eighth grade classroom sigh you have been visited by the wealth rat subscribe in 12 seconds and he will share his wealth with you thanks for watching if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

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Id: LwmMEeQ4I-4

Length: 19min 35sec (1175 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 05 2019