Psychologists What People Think Is Normal but Isn't? | Professionals' Stories #21

psychologists therapists counselors etc what are some things people tend to think are normal but should really be checked out hi i'm a kid who fell through the cracks got diagnosed with disco killer when i was a sophomore in high school throughout the years my parents would tell counselors psychologists etc that something wasn't right and it was more than me being bad at math it took a really badass teacher i had pushing and advocating for me to get an official diagnosis before anyone did anything i understand fully that sometimes parents can be a pain in the butt but please please please if a kid is 15 stroke 16 years old and is stuck at a 5th grade math level look into it bro i've never heard of this but it really makes so much sense for me i've always said i feel like i have a math specific learning disability people laugh when i say that now i know it's a real thing thanks for posting this people normalize abusive behaviors by loved ones all the time being able to identify your own personal boundaries and then enforce them with others for your own well-being is unfortunately not innate therapist here if you grew up with or currently are a part of a family where the whole family has to work to keep one or more members of the family in a good mood or appeased that's not healthy people are in charge of their own feelings it is not your job to appease others so that they can emotionally regulate themselves disassociating with friends current friend of mine is having real struggles emotionally and mentally we are still talking but he's been distancing himself from other people we reached breakthroughs every now and then but it's been difficult psychotherapist here some things i see regularly that could have been caught earlier before they became a problem unhealthy coping mechanisms for example drinking to relax frequently or smoking a lot even something like promiscuity can be a red flag that a person is trying to avoid dealing with something stressful by distracting themselves self hitting yourself banging your head on things burning yourself on purpose cutting yourself etc all of those things indicate that it's time to talk with a professional normal child teen behaviors that are not actually normal like running away or getting into fights not communicating when this happens something is usually wrong not always as some folks are quieter than others but if a child teen adult rarely speaks or if they are silent in the presence of their parent or significant other it's time to get them to see a professional alone to have their safety assessed i've seen individuals who are literally shut down due to having been profoundly abused by the people they live with and one of the main signs of that is silence i've also seen people in perfectly good homes who cannot communicate due to extreme anxiety and without professional help it's hard for them to overcome this mood swings when a person's moods change from one extreme to another fairly often regularly that is another concerning symptom sometimes they are considered eccentric or hormonal but that sort of thing can be a sign of many problems from bipolar disorder to post-traumatic stress disorder hum my parents always made me follow a sort of social code to a point i just didn't say anything anymore near them in fear of offending them self-sabotaging behavior can ruin your life quickly if you have an event in your life that has affected you negatively and you seem to find yourself exhibiting irrational or incongruent behavior see a counselor you don't have to have any certain pathology to seek mental wellness counseling thinking that five hours of sleep per night is okay rapid weight gain or loss with no obvious medical cause relationship problems don't get me freaking started frick if i go to sleep right now i'll get five hours there have been a lot of my patients who have been pretty surprised when i've told them hey that's anxiety depression when they just thought their behaviors were typical for everyone not being able to maintain friendships constantly being nervous about the safety of your child to the point where you hate being alone with your child without your partner not being able to motivate yourself to do things especially things you once enjoyed feeling excessively tired all the time not being able to calm down and just thinking about the same thoughts over and over and feeling worried other things we can help with having a hard time trusting others trying to recover a relationship from infidelity not knowing why your kid is misbehaving so much and needing guidance helping to improve communication within your relationships if you experience these things and more therapists can help let us help you edited to add i've noticed cost coming up in a lot of these replies i hate that cost is such a barrier for people sometimes colleges offer free or discounted therapy from their students when you're training to be a therapist you spend at least one year working as a therapist while meeting with a supervisor each week to consult on your cases and get guidance on moving forward my college unfortunately didn't offer discounted sessions but i know many do it might be worth checking out some systems also have charity care options for people with low incomes that can be worth pursuing as well to find a therapist if you're in the us you can call your insurance company and get the list of places that take your insurance that's a good place to start a good rule of thumb as to whether a behavior or symptom should be checked out is the same we used to determine a diagnosable disorder if it causes impairment in one or more areas of life the range of what is normal is huge but if something keeps you from going to school or work keeps you from maintaining basic hygiene from maintaining your friendships familial relationships romantic relationships it's causing impairment and you should seek help edits wanted to clarify a few things one this is not an exhaustive criteria for diagnosable mental illness there are many criteria we consider in diagnosing but the one criteria that is present for all is that it must cause impairment two enjoyment is also an important aspect of functioning if you are getting by in your life but are miserable get help you don't have to live like that three serial killers and sociopaths represent a very small percentage of the population and rarely seek help willingly this was not directed at them four the areas of functioning are listed are general examples pulled from the western culture where i live and was trained different cultures have different values and the norms of your culture should be taken into account five if you are unbothered by your level of functioning in these areas relative to cultural expectations good for you most people considering this advice likely have a sense that something is not where they want it to be in their life and are looking for confirmation that it's bad enough to seek help if you're not concerned my advice is not directed at you 6. no one is saying that being content with having no interpersonal connections is inherently pathological also thanks for the awards and for all the responses i've really enjoyed reading and responding the attitudes of their parents no really there are a lot of bad things that current parents do that are just seen as normal when they're not and they have long lasting psychological effects from emotional damage i'm still realizing how abusive my parents actually were years after moving out inability to regulate your own emotions also negative self-talk we talked to ourselves way worse than any person could shadow people one question we asked was if they ever saw heard or smelled anything others didn't this came up more often than you might think wtf is a shadow person that is one of the scariest combinations of two words i can imagine the need for some parents to speak with their children about adult problems no your young child does not need to be aware that you are struggling financially or that daddy slept with the lady next door the parents that tell their children that they are going to go and speed my car into a tree purposely kill myself while you are at school or slit my wrist when i shower tonight and parents that feel they need their children fixed as it's the child and not the family unit as the whole that needs support and or assistance just a few recent ones i've heard edit sorry about format commenting via mobile phone edit thanks for the gold my first one edit in regards to financial comments taken from a previous comment of mine as i've been getting asked to answer this i'm talking more on the extreme side and towards children that have been extremely hurt and money talk was used as a tool to make the child feel at fault and guilt to some degree i'm currently working with a child now that is triggered whenever he hears talk about finances and feels it's his fault they will eventually become homeless they won't but this is what he is told if only he didn't eat so much if only he didn't have so many school fees not to mention the arguing between carers over finances this must be his fault although they are yelling and shouting because of this komahi parents that tell their children that they are going to go and speed my car into a tree purposely kill myself while you are at school my own mother took this one a step further and threatened to drive both herself and i into a telephone pole if my grades didn't pick up all while going 70 down a residential neighborhood towards the telephone pole at the end of the road good times i've seen a lot of people dismiss their depression other mental illness because it's not that bad or other people have it worse or i can should be able to handle it on my own you shouldn't have to suffer through mental illness even if you technically can you deserve to be happy and therapists and psychiatrists are there to help you learn how to help yourself it's not a weakness to find someone who can assist you in figuring out coping skills or prescribe you medications to help fine-tune your brain's neurotransmitters it's just hella expensive from the patient side it took having a massive anxiety attack at my doc's office to find out that no massive anxiety attacks in front of strangers isn't common or normal yeah i'm struggling with that in college rnlol ironically in my stress management class because we talk about things kind of abstractly and emotionally and that's just not something that i can do in front of people for some reason research psychologist checking in if your toddler is doing socially unusual behaviors such as not responding to name not responding to a social smile not pointing using gestures using your hands arms as if they were a tool or extension of their body engaging in repetitive behaviors not responding to your use of gaze to direct their attention to distal objects check with the pediatrician about getting assessed for autism spectrum disorder it's a lot of things really even the most insane things can be normalized in the extremes i know a patient whose father would occasionally beat her up sometimes while she was showering because she hadn't done a house chore and she considered that normal remind me a friend who was beating by her father he would hit her a lot and when we had a conversation about it she was stunned that our parents never beaten us her mother had told her it was normal it was really sad and her parents were complaining she would stay a lot into her friend house but i mean it's really normal that she'll stay far away from them i'm pretty sure having feelings that change from ecstatic to near suicidal over the course of mere hours almost every day is pretty bad thought my dad was bipolar for ages because literally anything negative in his eyes could tip him over into an extreme tantrum upset and ruin his mood like a switch until someone on youtube listed out the symptoms of depression turns out he has textbook depression being in butthole to everyone it's something that's become a norm due to their anonymity on internet and carries out in real life perfectionism while a spectrum and everyone wants to do good work an obsession with perfection is not something to be proud of and definitely not healthy healthy work ethic is doing your best and then letting go as in recognizing no matter how much effort you put in the result is to some extent out of your control and that's okay the intent and effort counts more than the end result if you get obsessed with the end result only you will hurt yourself because you never have full control over your end result but you do have full control over the intensity and dedication you will put in even if that doesn't translate well it is a fact of life sometimes things don't work out so people who never and i mean never have anything less than flawless work all the time are paying for it somehow burn out or mental stress or overtime or medication drugs to keep going or etc it is pathological to want or to think you can realistically have such control that your work is flawless all the time i'd like to point out that there are tons of things that are normal but are not healthy or ideal normal is just what the statistical majority are doing not what would be best for them i think the main question should be what impact is having on my life and relationships rather than wondering how it compares to the average person's experience or behaviors new nurse here did my rotation for mental health and one patient in particular took quite an interest in me he was very polite and very kind he was chatting up a storm answered everyone's questions and repeatedly asked my name later we got to look at patient's files and i got his he had a psychotic break and started hearing god she told him her name was courtney and that she had chosen him and he was to find her and marry her guess what my first name is courtney they ended up moving me to another part of the hospital after that because he was quite entrusted can confirm i am definitely not god way too much responsibility what if god was one of us just a slob like one of us coping with stress in your relationships by walking away from conversations saying you've had enough or going silent coping with feelings of insecurity and anxiety by lashing out at your partner egg asking a bunch of questions about one of their acquaintances instead of saying i feel insecure for these reasons please talk through it with me been a couples therapist for 10 years now clinical director of a private practice so many more but those are two of the most prevalent in couples work getting stressed every day you'd be surprised how many people just say no it's okay my job is just stressful or other similar excuses so many health issues arise from stress or prolonged unmotivation not wanting to do things having both at the same time is fun let me tell you yeah pls help me understand myself i tend to change my preference in philosophy almost every day is something wrong with that i don't believe there's an underlying mental illness for that it just means that you are unsure about yourself and aren't able to form an opinion all by yourself especially if you're young your preferences and philosophy is affected by loads of influences that either validate or oppose them that's perfectly normal i also experience that and i'm pretty sure we're not alone on that trauma reactions they are very normal for the situation but are not healthy or easy to deal with without help our bodies and brains ward survival responses so i see a lot of people struggling with unhealthy coping skills or habits that at one point kept them safe and helped them survive this can range from large mood swings emotional or physical disassociation difficulty connecting with one's physical or emotional being and difficulty identifying triggers i get a lot of childhood abuse survivors who have had issues in therapy before due to this if your therapist goes in assuming you are able to connect with the name feelings identify what is weighing on you etc they won't be very helpful also my normal therapy site is whenever possible please don't wait there is no such thing as an issue too small for therapy but waiting can cause something to morph into a way bigger issue i know for a variety of reasons that isn't always feasible but if you can please do emotional regulation i see typical kids that just can't handle anything it's terrifying they are gonna have a very difficult journey ahead unless they seek help dismissing your own feelings your own thoughts and your own internal voice saying something isn't right because others around the world have it worse devaluing your thoughts and emotions is a quick path down to making them louder and more painful not a psychologist therapist or counselor but this is something i wished people paid more attention to going from straighters to c's and d's speaking of grades having good grades everywhere except one or two subjects especially if those subjects are english or math [Music] sorry for the messy mobile post forgive me redid gods tl dr extreme emotions lack or struggle with impulse control blackouts extreme irritability disrupted sleep muted or bottled emotions feeling like an alien feeling like everyone has an ulterior motive self-isolation preoccupation with pleasing others or avoiding conflict feeling of emptiness feeling like a part of your identity is missing or you don't have an identity of your own subtle tendencies to latch onto others especially romantic partners or crushes maybe sometimes you feel like you're just a tad too much or maybe you've heard that from some exes went to school for forensic psych before i had to drop out due to my own unchecked mental illness turns out my world view has been wrong my whole life and i thought everyone was like this because my family members were like this even though i was in and out of therapy my whole life for depression and anxiety nobody spotted the bpd because i didn't know these feelings needed talked about never caught the borderline until my head became such a dangerous place i wasn't sure i'd ever function again or be able to have the relationships i craved with my loved ones another example is my so he's always had muted emotions not a lot of expressed passion about the things he likes or believes are important not even enough to vote before we got together most people with spd will feel this detachment and think it's fine but they can be really struggling and not know why or even not know that there's a problem like heart disease i won't lie that in some cases having schizoid is almost encouraged work of nearly every kind however it very seriously impacts the quality of life for the person sometimes making them feel like they have no place in this world hint everyone needs a therapist there are no exceptions op thank you what a great post you've got a lot of people talking which further normalizes talking about and acting on mental well-being not a therapist or a mental health professional but a patient who has had major depression and heaps of anxiety for a very long time it's safe to say a majority of my life for depression exhaustion with no cause feeling numb random bursts of anger losing interest in favorite things mental dullness drops in grades work ethic wanting to vanish believing others would be better off without you feeling like a burden getting sick more often isolating yourself casual suicidal thoughts my own big example of this unknown experience was walking down a road with my sister and thinking casually i could just sidestep in front of a car and be dead just popped into my head feeling worthless intrusive thoughts staring off into space for hours and hours random crying spells feeling like you deserve to be unhappy for anxiety feeling suffocated in a crowded space heart palpations dizziness nausea sweating rapid pulse inability to be still stammering getting frustrated over something simple going mute dry mouth being hyper aware of everyone feeling like everyone is watching you feeling like you're being watched feeling like you're being judged constantly feeling like people are out to get you feeling like certain things are traps like you were set up for failure feeling sick before you're supposed to do something uncontrollable shaking insomnia an uncontrollable sense of dread imagining the worst possible case scenario being afraid to leave your home some of these overlap of course and all of these are my own personal experiences and symptoms they vary from person to person please do not be ashamed to get help these people want to help you if you can't afford help please try and find a free clinic you deserve to be happy you deserve not to feel like total crap i know taking the plunge to get help is scary but it's worth it they're not just gonna lock you up in some padded cell in a straight jacket even if you did go to a mental hospital these people really care they want to make you better mental illness is just that an illness don't deny yourself the help you need and deserve you wouldn't brush off a potentially serious physical illness so don't brush off a potentially serious mental illness rage and anger outbursts i'm shocked by how much bad behavior during an adult tantrum is written off with little or no concern oh that's just how he gets when he gets mad he'll calm down no adults should be able to regulate their anger and handle it appropriately everyone gets angry that is totally normal but we shouldn't find ourselves escalating so easily and responding in ways we later regret speaking as a patient here this may seem obvious to some but if you genuinely think you or others would be better off with you dead seek help that's something to take seriously if you find yourself making plans or fantasizing about it even more so i was shocked to realize later on that my repeated suicidal ideation never tipped me off that something was seriously wrong i had one who preferred to masturbate rather than have sex with his wife said that people-to-people contact spreads diseases that was a roller coaster of a couple therapy session the biggest thing i've run into over and over again as people normalizing their negative injurious behaviors i've seen multiple clients go through what i'd call bargaining and say it's only jokes or just this one time but they are and i need to assistance before they take those next paranoia even if you're not having auditory or visual hallucinations paranoia can be the gateway to worse underlying issues i am a very specific psychologist i am a research psychologist and my area is maternal infant health so i am not sure how helpful this is but we truly do not have a great understanding about what a physiologically normal postpartum mental health experience is versus a pathological one except on the extreme end so if you are having thoughts of harming yourself or others including your baby that is a pathological postpartum experience i've met with women who when told they had ppd because they were looking forward to going back to work or were suggested to take medication because they reported feeling overwhelmed i've also had women who were told it was normal to feel unmotivated detached from the world or isolated for months after giving birth because that was just adjusting to motherhood perceptions of normal not normal postpartum well-being vary wildly and this makes promoting postpartum wellbeing really difficult so my advice is this some about of distress probably is normal it's a huge life change a huge physical toll and a huge shift in hormones but if that distress is distressing to you there are likely many many different strategies for helping alleviate it including medication when indicated i would also say that postpartum anxiety is something that i actually tend to see are more commonly normalized not diagnosed chronic persistent debilitating worry about your infant is not normal but frankly we have socialized it to be an indicator of good mothering even if it decreases overall quality of life for me though it took me getting arrested for having one of my at the time many schizophrenic episodes in a safe way to me actually admit i have a problem and that was the day i got diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic so now i have a medicine that actually works without too bad of a side effect aeropiprazole i just have to get up really slow after i have been sitting down for more than 10 minutes otherwise i pass out and when i have a relapse which is rare i find it very hard to take it again as the whispers tell me not to until i am forced to take it and i mean with aggressive physical force but it is a very scary thing to not be able to trust your own mind try the injectable abilify so you don't have to take a pill every day is talking to yourself normal and if so to what extent is it not i talk to myself a lot like a lot about everything and anything i'm an only child and didn't grow up with friends didn't have any till fifth grade so i just got kind of used to it this is a common self-soothing technique and is normal for many people not a psychologist but mostly if it is affecting your life ability to function you may still want to seek help otherwise you're okay most people are freaked or think they are due to an overload of comparing themselves to others this has always existed but because of social media it follows us all day every day i'm not a psychologist but this makes the most sense to me i've never seen so many people feel so lost in my life before and this only has happened in the last five six years as social media sites like fb and instagram blew up in popularity tell me i'm wrong because i seriously think this is one of the biggest reasons exhaustion if you are too tired to get out of bed or if you literally can't function during the day even though you may not be consciously aware you are having emotional difficulties yet your body is shutting you down and making you pay attention to it the same goes for aches pains recurring floss etc get it checked being bullied amazing the number of people who are afraid to come to work in the morning because of the actions of their co-workers and if the salary is good they put up with it for years i was a mentor for a department of 20 or so staff all women they tortured one poor lassie it affected her health sex life everything i had a client tell me he had a normal amount of panic attacks a day 15. i got him to describe them they were full on panic attacks had to explain that was not normal if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video bye for now

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Keywords: psychology, psychological facts, psychology tricks, psychologist, psychology 101, mental health, mental health awareness, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit

Id: lfs-oNTBHjM

Length: 28min 21sec (1701 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 16 2020