Fathers, How Did You Mess With Your Daughter's Boyfriend? | Parents Stories #16

fathers of reddit what is the best way you have messed with a daughter's boyfriend when meeting him when my dad met my sister's boyfriend whom she is now married to for the first time he answered the door but naked like nothing was wrong the naked man works two out of three times guaranteed something like that i have a relatively mild cinnamon allergy girlfriend at the time told her parents this her dad bought her cinnamon body wash that crafty mother my friend had no dad living with them so he was the man of the house or whatever his sister was bringing a boy round and he assumed it was her bf he is a fairly muscly guy and he planned for some reason to intimidate him by answering the door in just his boxes i still don't see the logic in this and showing off his tattoos and generally asserting alpha status by not giving a frick about even getting dressed so the guy turns up and he's actually her gay friend and the guy wrenches the door open in his boxes and gruffly goes you must be and the gay guy was like oh what a treat totally backfired [Music] my white jewish sister brighter black christian boyfriend on a family vacation one night my dad walked up to my sister and gave her a kiss good night her boyfriend looked at him and asked no kiss for me mister question mark so my dad turns to him and kisses this black man with about a foot on him right on the lips i have never been in a quieter room now them right there's some testies i was out with a few friends and we ran into a big group of soldiers this wasn't uncommon as it was a military town so we hung out for a bit at a local burger place the boys all of them 18 were discussing one of their superiors and the consensus around the table was that this man was the complete pain in the butt after a while i noticed someone giving the man a nickname based on his surname my surname the pain in the butt was my dear old father i told them this and the evening took an abrupt end as they shuffled off in a hurry when i returned home and told my father about it he laughed for a really long time and when wiping his tears away the only thing he said was i can't believe it worked tl dr father was a pain in the ass to future suitors i never got to date any soldiers that man is a genius he spent all those years in the military just to gain a high enough rank to clam jimmy from getting your soggy box invaded by young soldiers my dad is a super nice and charismatic guy pretty outgoing so i was never scared of my dad doing intimidating things when i brought home my first boyfriend when i was in high school my boyfriend played the drums and was about five feet three inches at 16 years my dad's about a foot taller my dad refused to call him by his real name the entire time we dated he just called him little drummer boy and smiled to my dad embarrassment intimidation comma super nice coma my dad refused to call him by his real name the entire time we dated he just called him little drummer boy and smiled to my dad embarrassment intimidation contradiction not me but my brother always tells this story about a girl he dated when he met her father for the first time he told my brother anything you do to my daughter i'm going to do to you i have a feeling my brother was very respectful on that date return from the date say i gave her head pay up big man when my eldest daughter's bf asked me if he could marry her i said can you support a family he replied yes sir i believe i can i said great including my daughter there are six of us unlike most other stunts from this treat this one is actually funny from the other side on the first date my eventual wife and i had i dropped her off to find her former marine retired fbi agent turned high school history teacher father in the front yard cleaning the fully functional civil war era cannon which he had turned to sort of aim at the driveway i had actually gotten her home about 10 minutes early spoiling his plan to set off a blank half charge as i pulled in just to make sure i was awake for the drive home according to my eventual mother-in-law awkward that was 11 years ago and my wife and i have been married for the last six of them he likes me now i think i have since fired that cannon so i know it's functional tl dr cannon when my now wife's father found out about me he told her to make sure he knows i have a shotgun a shovel and a large backyard two out of three are actually true freaking shovels man not first hand but i can share a couple of stories that friends of mine have told me about memorable father experiences one friend was dating a girl whose father was a career army ranger 30 years in this is the guy who would be cleaning his high power sniper rifle in the backyard when he would come over always polite but easily giving off the vibe of i've killed men before you would hardly be the first but likely be the easiest so they are all sitting down to dinner one night and the girlfriend gets up goes over gives her dad a kiss on the cheek and says daddy i am going to go upstairs and get washed up so sitting across the table my buddy says that he could very distinctly hear the voice of reason in his head voice of reason dude don't say it my friend hey that's funny voice of reason no don't dollar sign percentage say it my friend i guess voice of reason no no no friend she calls you daddy too [Music] he maintains to this day that the only reason he survived is that he temporarily made her father so angry that he forgot how to kill you put that so gracefully and hilariously i think you should claim that story as your own my father-in-law is a veterinarian when i started dating his daughter he politely asked me if i wanted to see how he neutered cats and dogs i told him i'd have a home by 10. i read that as father-in-law is a vegetarian i was a little confused my dad would always call them by the wrong name never far off from their real name joe was john dan was dug etc it didn't matter how long they were in the picture he said he did it to keep them on their toes so subtle yet brilliant my brother greets my boyfriends by the previous exs name i know a guy who had a prosthetic leg his daughter's new boyfriend comes over and the guy is wearing pants the boyfriend didn't know he has a prosthetic leg talking to the boyfriend he eventually said to him you gotta be tough and stabbed his fake leg with a knife if you have a false leg you gotta pull this trick with everyone though it would never get old before my husband proposed to me he called my dad to let him know dad are you sure about this husband yes dad take too advil and lay down the feeling will pass my dad stated that for every boy i brought home before i was 28 he would kill one kitten of course he wouldn't but as an eight-year-old who loved kittens it worked that's horrible he probably destroyed your dating life not a father but the first time i met my current girlfriend's father he asked me if i didn't mind getting my hands dirty i replied sure and he led me to the backyard he said he needed help digging up his garden we start digging the whole time we are chatting back and forth we dug for almost an hour he asks me do you think you could fit in that hole i say easy without missing a bt replies fantastic now i won't have to do this later if you're an idiot took me a moment but i realized that i had just dug my own grave the father is brilliant use your need of his approval to make you threaten yourself without realizing it so my uncle owns a dairy farm and from the time my sister was 12 i remember my uncle asking my dad is it time yet this continued until my sister was about 17 when my dad finally answered yes to the question about a week later and just in time for my little sister's first date this little package shows up in the morning being completely oblivious to my dad's plan i take this package to him and he gets this ear-to-ear crap eating grin on his face he stashes the package and asks me to find out if my sister is going to stick around for dinner a little later i tell him that she is going out on some date and that he is going to pick her up later he thanks me and the grin returns about 15 minutes before my sister is supposed to be picked up my dad scurries out the front door with a hammer a nail and his package after he hammers something to the front door he sprints back inside snickering manically my dad pulls me aside and says take notes in case you ever have a daughter we sit down where we have a clear view of who is coming to the front door a few minutes later this guy shows up he walks right up to the door pauses for about five seconds turns around and walks away my dad had nailed a mummified pair of bulls balls to the front door with a note saying last boyfriend oh my god oh my god not my dad who was moreover she's smart enough to make decent decisions kind of guy my mom my parents had my youngest sister when i was 15. when i started dating someone at 16 my brand new dating prospect came over to the house once we were sitting and talking in the living room my mom brought over my sister put her in my arms and said just looked like you needed to hold her for a while with a very pointed look at me and then at the dude knowing my mum i knew this meant she thought i was thinking sexy thoughts and she wanted to remind us what can happen with sexy times the dude was intimidated and left within 10 minutes that dude was lame my girlfriend's father gave me a lie detector test the first time we met it's basically a glorified electrical resistance tester and is supposed to work on the principle that lying equal sweating therefore less resistance for the current to flow from one hand to the other unfortunately i was one nervous about meeting him and two sweating hard already because it was july in arkansas so i picked up the wires and the thing went off god dang boy you're lying and you haven't even said anything my female cousin's father yeah my uncle did this boy comes to meet the family uncle takes him into the den shows him all his military awards and gun collection stands the young man in front of the gun case asks him which one is your favorite boy chooses a nice browning 30.06 with a scope uncle ghost a gun cabinet opens drawer sifts through boxes fines 30.06 ammo goes to the desk and grabs a black sharpie and casually asks what are your initials again obg writes that on one random bullet and replaces it in the package then puts it back without saying a word they have been married 10 years and have two kids but my uncle does not hesitate to remind everyone he still has that bullet not exactly first encounter but when i got married my dad whispered to my husband frick this up and i'll kill you i have the means to do it to which he replied i'm mlg bro bring it one time i took a girl out i met her father and he said i want her back by 8 30 i said end of august that's cool this wasn't the first time my dad met my then boyfriend but it was the first time we all went away somewhere i was on the air travel softball team and my boyfriend came to a tournament with us it might have been my birthday weekend or something or maybe not it could have just been the whole puppy love thing usually parents would bunk with their own kids i figured my dad myself my boyfriend and my brother would share a room assuming my boyfriend would sleep on the floor nope not only did my dad have me sleep in someone else's room but he seriously tied himself to my boyfriend my boyfriend slept on the floor next to my dad's bed with a string connected from his leg to my dad's arm i was pretty embarrassed when i heard about that that's awesome not a dad but my girlfriend's dad is pretty terrifying first and foremost the guy is a freaking bear he's six feet five six feet six and three hundred pounds and it's a lifts weights every day three hundred pounds this guy doesn't have a pound of fat on him i'm five feet eight the guy towers over me and knows it he's the definition of an irish badass right to the core of him he crashed his holly broke his neck and then was on his feet cutting the grass within three weeks of his surgery despite numerous doctor's orders he's an ex-cop of 30 years reminds me all the time that he has friends on the force still he quit because he now teaches police foundations at a local college another fact he reminds of constantly the other night at dinner he demonstrated his pressure point tactics on me and taught me that is proved to me that he knew advanced blade work and sharp object handling that being said he is an unreal guy hand built his own basement bar so every time i go there for dinner him and i end up getting drunk together down there and have a blast he likes me and i treat his daughter well so we get along great but still he's not afraid to let me know every now and then that he's trained enough to kill me with one punch i want to be like him when i grow up my best friend came home one day to find her new boyfriend and father sitting at the dining room table her boyfriend was sweating bullets and was halfway through a massive application form while her dad looked on smuggly not a father yet but my first girlfriend's father showed me where he smiths his own guns and makes his own ammunition he then showed me the guns and his marksman certificates my friend's dad did this also showed him his bear rug told him bears are harder to kill than most animals with a dead serious look my father used to be a fireman but when he retired his buddies gave him an axe he greeted my prom date by saying here's johnny not a dad but when i was on a date with this girl a few weeks ago i finally met her father i had met her mother numerous times and now her brother quite well i go and introduce myself shake his hand and all he then starts to grill me saying stuff like where are you from what do you do for a living let me see your head i start to pull out my head and then he just busts out laughing comma quite good twitch the first thing my mother asked my current boyfriend is are you gay apparently she was worried that i was never going to have a boyfriend because the majority of the men in my life are gay not a dad but something my dad did to my sister's boyfriend they later married my mom warned him not to pull any crap with him as my sister had indicated it was very serious and she thought that they might get engaged soon so my dad promised he would not threaten to do anything to the kid however he never promised that he would tell the guy that i was threatening him now i wasn't around when she brought him home i am in the army and was gone so my dad took him into the family room and is talking to this kid right in front of a picture of me in uniform that is on the wall apparently my dad looking at my picture without so much as glancing in his direction said something to the effect of my daughter may have told you that i might try to pull some crap with you this weekend i'm just letting you know that won't happen i promised my wife i wouldn't threaten to do anything to you and a good man always keeps his promises and truth be told if you were to ever do anything to my daughter to anger me i probably wouldn't know what to do to you i am not a violent man i don't own any guns and even if i got my hands on one i wouldn't know what to do with it my son however he made no such promise to my wife he is a trained killer with a lot of guns and i am told he is good at his job he like me is a man who keeps his promises at this point he turned and looked at the guy and he promised me no one would ever find your body my dad then walked away without saying a word and immediately called me it took him about five minutes to tell me the story because he was laughing so hard my sister came back to the house with her prom date it was about 3 30 in the morning but innocent as far as i know my dad had a hunting trip planned in the morning and he kept his guns in his bedroom closet sister and date were sitting at the kitchen table when my dad walks into the kitchen in full camo unaware that they were in the kitchen as he had just woken up as he's walking into the kitchen he dongs the shotgun to empty the chamber the date runs out of the house and doesn't come back my current girlfriend's father cleaned his guns every time i would go over to her house at least for the first few weeks one of my uncles was in the army pretty high ranking don't know which one his daughter my cousin once brought the meanest looking boyfriend home and of course all the weapons were laid on the table for cleaning my uncle proceeds to call him closer hands him a semi-automatic and tells him so do you think you can use this as well as i can the boyfriend then looks at my uncle looks at all the cleaning supplies and proceeds to in under 45 seconds to fully disassembly the gun and place all the pieces in cleaning position over the table looks inquisitively at my uncle and says would you be kind enough to pass me the brush turns out boyfriend was also a drill sergeant but at another base nearby of course my uncle would not concede defeat from that day on every time drill sergeant boyfriend came over to take my cousin out my uncle had him cleaned his whole weapon collection on the clock he'd arrived before my cousin even got in the shower my daughter looks similar enough to me that i want to she's had dates but not men a dress up in drag to let them know what she'll look like in 25 30 years not a father but a little brother when my sister's new boyfriend came over for the first time i greeted him at the door with a raised baseball bat his face was priceless my face was priceless when i learned he was a black belt i'm a black belt too real nice leather it is my best friend's father died a few years back when his mom started dating again dave went up to his mom's house dressed up in his old army uniform and sat cleaning his rifle when the suitor came over dave glared at him and asked about his plans and gave him a short lecture about when i was your age when my parents met my boyfriend we went out to dinner my mom and i went to the bathroom leaving my dad and boyfriend alone at the table my dad calmly says mia winton 5 has a certain standard of living she is used to how do you plan to support her so she can continue to live a comfortable life so what you do is go to a ton of garage sales find as many taxidermied animals as humanly possible hundreds make it funnier and buy them then before they get there set them up everywhere everywhere get your wife to help you and if your daughter is also up for a good practical joke call text her and tell her to act like everything is normal when she gets there and not to even mention your taxidermied rodents owls deer dogs cats beavers whatever when they show up the boyfriend will be a little freaked out if he asks about them ignore the question and move on part two put a few laxatives in his dinner but only his not to make him crap his pants or anything just enough to make him have to crap then when he's in the bathroom take every stuffed corpse down as quickly as humanly possible when he comes out don't say a word and continue eating like nothing ever happened source it happened to me with my first gf her parents were sick bastards i have a friend who is a respected martial arts teacher he enjoys meeting new suitors while practicing spear in his backyard i've seen him use a spear and he can punch holes in one inches wood boards with surprising ease i can only imagine what her daughter's boyfriends go through daughter was dating this bad seed she met at school kid was always getting into trouble big mouth on him and not averse to the occasional punch-up didn't want my daughter to be led astray so acted cool and casual when he and i were introduced got him on his own though and came in real close bearing teeth and gripping him by his collar you mess with my daughter cause her pain or suffering in any way and so help me god i will tell you a new butthole bucko you know what that douchebag did went straight back into the nursery and told his worker on me freaking three-year-olds bad seed is a lot closer to the literal the second time i read through when my sister brought over her boyfriend my dad didn't say a word to him just sat there eating dinner and receiving death glares from my mum when we all moved into the living room just to chat dad left to go build something the shed when the boyfriend had to leave he got really confused on why there was a parsnip in his shoe i found my dad laughing in his shed saying the parsnip of approval has spoken i love my dad's weird antics my ex-father-in-law was a fat full-bearded man who always talked in a monotone i got to my then-girlfriend's parents house and had dinner then we went to the porch to smoke a cigar and drink some bourbon the girlfriend gets called to the kitchen by her mom and i sit there with my ex-father-in-law thinking about what to say i am mexican and it was the first time i was in an english-only environment and i wasn't as comfortable with my english as i am now he breaks the silence is it true that there are wild chihuahuas in mexico he asked very seriously i was trying to find words to use that would not make him feel offended but would also bring some true to the conversation actually sir i said there may be some stray chihuahuas that may be considered wild but they don't roam the desert and he interrupted me when he saw how nervous i was i'm freaking with you he said i love that man the only two things i miss about being married is my ex-father-in-law and my dog that my ex-wife stole if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 42,893

Rating: 4.9288259 out of 5

Keywords: fathers, daughters boyfriend memes, daughters boyfriend disrespects me, parenting, parents, parenting styles, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, reddit stories 2021

Id: PrBKoK8ZEfw

Length: 23min 39sec (1419 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 26 2021