Creating the Most Powerful Weapon in Spore.

the year is 2069 and the world is in ruin the beautiful call of birds is replaced by the shrieking sound of air raid sirens enemies are everywhere and here on the small island of great britain the collective thought is oh dear we are in trouble i'm jude wedgwood the mastermind behind the british defense force and the government has tasked me with fending off any threat to the health and safety of the british public but my job is getting harder every day the enemy is ever changing one day we're fending off aliens the next day a group of angry norwegians luckily i have a final card up my sleeve a card so powerful it might just change the world forever the 2008 video game spore spore is a life simulation game but it's also so much more using its complex database of weaponry i may just be able to create the most advanced weaponized creature the human race has ever seen i'm talking more deadly than the turkey turret more dangerous than the semi-automatic pelican the only thing left for me to do was start a new creature stage and save the united kind good door that should that should say kingdom i spelt that wrong to make sure i'm open to all possibilities i needed to start with a blank canvas ah yes perfection i shall call him my super soldier and he shall win many battles once my template was created it was time to gather fossils fossils were invented in 1847 by dr joseph fossil and are essentially a pile of bones on the ground when eaten fossils reveal a hidden secret within them a new body part if we were gonna make the most weaponized creature possible we would need all the body parts we could get however as soon as i'd started collecting them i ran into another species this was it the first stage in our creature's road to viciousness his first kill he attacked with the strength of a bear the agility of a fox and the resilience of a badger and before long he was victorious he claimed his prize by feasting on his enemies corpse it's important that our new super weapon doesn't get hungry as it's difficult to fight on an empty stomach therefore i've made him a carnivore so he can eat his victims as he goes on his murderous rampage the only downside to this is that if he eats any fruits or vegetables it will make him very ill stop eating it then what are you doing stop eating the fruit stop it after eating the fruit a couple more times he learned his like oh for god's sake stop eating it no matter it's all about learning from experience and this experience will help him in future conflicts such as this one one of humankind's greatest enemies the monkeys this would be a great test of strength if my new super weapon could defeat one of mankind's predecessors it would be a mark of great potential without any more thought i engaged the monkeys in battle and immediately died this was a real setback clearly this task was bigger than i'd ever imagined luckily i knew just what my creature was missing he was missing arms i mean that was a real oversight on my part i probably should have thought of that one now he was prepared for anything and i could begin experimenting with all different types of weaponry in spore there are four main types of attack i would be starting out with charge my theory was if my creature could take out its opponent with one swift blow we'd be able to defeat any army before they even knew what was happening to do this i gave him a range of antlers and horns giving him good impaling potential operation porcupine had started and i set out to find a willing challenger the porcupine was a great success and made light work of his first few matchups his speed was unparalleled and his horns razor sharp quite frankly he was unbeatable monkeys okay monkeys you may have won last time but this is where i take my revenge this time around the battle with the monkeys was harder fought and we did manage to take down the alpha male but unfortunately we still ended up tasting defeat maybe charge wasn't the right option perhaps we were thinking too close range what if we could take out our opponent without even needing to get close to them this time i would put all my effort into the spit trait and as such i began to turn my creature into a walking turret this thing would have more firepower than any cannon in the world it was a barrage of pain and after finishing my creation the perfect test subject revealed himself i unleashed volley after volley at the monkeys each shot from my creature was accurate and destructive before long the monkeys couldn't handle anymore and the species went extinct that's correct i wiped out all monkeys every single monkey in the world gone and next on the menu was ducks or whatever these things are anyway nobody can withstand my firepower come at me ducks and face your doom oh turns out my creature is pretty bad in close combat well back to the drawing board if close combat was what nature demanded then that's what it would get instead of a wall of cannons my creature would need a wall of razor sharp claws to do this he would need a lot of arms and after a couple of tweaks i'd come up with this the shredder the shredder walks around with a distinct swagger no being dare come near him or they'll be sliced apart by his rows of talons however another fight with the ducks revealed a major problem just as with the cunning creature the shredder was too susceptible to taking direct damage no worries i had just the answer long arms really really unnecessarily long arms this way the shredder could remain at a safe distance while also being able to shred to his full capacity this was it what could anything do against a creature you can't hit the shredder began to wreak havoc leaving a whole string of fatalities in his wake the last thing to do was take out those troublesome ducks and what the hell how have we died again these ducks have so much health it's unfair hmm health maybe i'm misguided once again my creature may deal a lot of damage but when it comes to taking it he's a bit of a wet wipe my next creature would be robust and solid don't get me wrong he would still have some claws but the focus now would be mostly on defense you know what they say the best form of defense is two massive plates and a huge horn with that the tank was created and i rolled out with a troop of the most hardy creatures in the galaxy all of which look conspicuously like mr potato head in fact these creatures are so strong i bet they could even take on a rogue maybe not uh let's try that again in fact these creatures are so strong i bet they could even take on an epic or what all right that must have been a glitch that time let me try again in fact these creatures are so strong i bet they could even take on an lr for god's sake this creature is rubbish he's too slow and flat-footed do some twisting and turning come on duck and weave man duck and weave hmm it seems i've come up against a bit of an obstacle here but if i can defeat this epic then surely that proves that my creature is the most powerful out there i need more speed without hesitation i started gathering all the legs i possibly could my theory was if i made a creature of every single type of feat in the game he would be too fast to hit and i could out-maneuver the epic i ran in circles around the epic hoping to make it dizzy but he managed to stomp on me while i was close to him my tactics changed i would charge towards the epic and strike it as hard as i could then sprint away from it before it could hit me this tactic did seem to work and i was making some good progress that is until the epic walked onto a geezer firing it up in the air and breaking my pattern of attack it then descended from the sky and owned me at this point i realized that just as too many cooks spoil the broth having too many legs makes it hard for our creature to sort his feet out instead i would create a two-legged humanoid creature who would have both the sharpest claws and the fastest feet in the game and holy moses does this guy move he was rapid he could cover continents in mere hours if he needed to furthermore with his talents he was also able to deal with up-close combat i'd finally found a creature which could both evade and invade he was so good in fact he was able to take the duck species on and although there was a momentary retreat he did eventually emerge victorious that's one arch nemesis out of the way next up the rogue he ripped into the rogue like a knife through butter and despite having over 300 health to begin with the rogue was no match for these streamlined war machines in fact my creature was so powerful that his very movements could cause meteors to fall from the sky by now he's almost at demigod status and the next step in the staircase towards the heavens you guessed it the epic go get him you little soldier let's go champ get get him really beat him up okay um what about if instead of hands he just had big saws like big saw hands yeah yeah this is it look at him go bomb bomb oh for god's sake all right it looks like we're gonna have to do some serious reflection here i've tried many different methods of carnage so far and none of them none of them have worked the charging the spitting the weird one with all the arms none of it seems to be getting me anywhere but i've tried everything everything yes everything that's it i shall combine all of my previous tests he'll have maces on his head horns on his skull cannons on his back and so much more it's wonderful this is the face of death this is my weapon my ultimate defense system take this aliens huh and take this weird hammer creatures and take this nerds yeah take that nerd you can't withstand my power oh look at this a bunch of pairs take this pairs yeah take this pairs wait whoa whoa whoa whoa what my world destroying weapon beaten by pairs by a bunch of pairs this thing defeated by pairs how is it supposed to defeat an epic if it can't even win a fight with a pair well i guess it's over then the united kingdom is doomed we're all gonna die i don't know where to go from here i've tried literally every trick in the book curse this massive mace and cursed these horns and screw these stupid sawhands i may as well have just made a stupid looking creature like this one it's probably just as good as the rest of them oh what an oversight how didn't i think of this what's more powerful than any weapon more potent than any blade that's right everyone the power of dance i don't need to kill my enemies i can just defeat them with the sheer rhythm of my feet that's right dance dance like you've never danced before keep dancing the cha-cha slide the gangnam style dance the whip and possibly also the nae nae the fox trot the jive the irish jake dance dance dance until the world explodes that noise i was joking i was joking when i said the thing about the world exploding the uk is on the world and it's my job to protect it oh god what have i done they're too powerful i can't stop them whoa whoa whoa whoa and that is how the big bang happened [Music] everyone [Music]

Channel: BogBoy

Views: 1,356,199

Keywords: bog, boy, bogboy, jude, wedgwood, spore, ea, maxis, attack, trait, stats, challenge, video, game

Id: jNWTrUv6nxA

Length: 11min 36sec (696 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 13 2021