Border Officer

hello everybody my name is markiplier and welcome to border officer if you're thinking to yourself that this seems a lot like papers please i have no idea if you're correct or not this is border officer very different legally distinct probably from papers please and it involves you being a officer at the border very different you have to inspect people's documentation and see them through the border very different i got this because it looked like one of those games that was going to be absolutely garbage but the reviews were halfway decent so i'm kind of curious as to why i don't know maybe i'm going into this prejudice maybe i shouldn't be so judgmental i have legs harlow i have a happiness bar which is depressing because that means it can go down i need to open the door hi wife what what wife wife his wife what am i looking at what border crossing open from now on stavroska can be accessed from the outside very different a wife why if your happiness looks a little low your happiness is only 64 you cigarette addict can you give me some cigarettes on the way home honey i'll give you a cigarette did i have one let's meet in the night what i feel so good we had good food i'm full i feel warm let's meet in the night don't forget to be energetic in bed all right hey wife listen uh i'll see you later hang on i gotta get to the door a little bear never hurt nobody before a shift oh grandma mother-in-law hello if you give me money i will fix your relationship with someone no i will break your relationship if you don't the hell lady feels so good you're not gonna feel good in a little bit all right money i decided to correct your relationship with your uncle thanks i guess oh is that my uncle it's my uncle hello give me something to drink looks like my head's coming oh kid son sorry son yeah i recognized you son i'd know that face anywhere could you give me some chocolate the taste was very nice he likes chocolate what a quirk okay person you to sell the product may affect the morale of the family well i'm not going to do that oh hi um i'll be right there yeah hi hello okay contract you know we've decided to open the border gate and here we offer people new jobs the raffle in march was announced your name came out of the list congratulations you have a job now we apologize for sending the letter late we sent you a special car you already know the house you've already moved what and there's also a bus service what sign the contract is this the contract this is it there's a lot of legality here that is missing from this contract a lot of their fours in their end and in such a case that is that is thus not enough buses or i'll sign it whatever i'm waiting in the car do not be late i don't even know what time it is do you have a clock we're too poor to have a clock it's just like my childhood all over again why would wood wood i gotta worry about wood chop chop i just picked up an axe do not sass me put it in my hand chop i did it rotten and useless well that was pointless then all right dude oh i'm driving you shouldn't you shouldn't have you sweetheart do i have to drive there go straight man this road will lead us to the border oh my god this is made by the same people that made livestream simulator oh my god it's the same the man before you got fired for taking a bribe be careful with inspectors coming to the border don't forget to pay your rent the state is very serious about it but that's good because that means this is going to be pretty well made i mean well not not well made but like enough made it's gonna be made as opposed to a lot of things which are fine we're fine we're all good deer that's a wolf ah that's the highway man gasoline food even gambling wait this is i thought it was just gonna be about the border officer if you hunt you can find a wolf try to tame try to tame a wolf this is a lot of information just put on me right now you can go to work by bus but the money means everything in straw stavronska you will learn to save money huh huh strip club hmm hey how about a pit stop is your favorite place all right let's go check it out i'm coming back here after i'm done with you come on go ahead go ahead and into the building with an axe you can earn money by selling livestock or wood hey bud all right i'll pay the fee well beer don't mind if i do take one or two two is just oh hey man either i'm smashed out of my gourd or this is the greatest party i've ever seen in my life this ain't no strip club this is a heaven this is a dance oh it's a place where you dance this guy yeah no one mined my axe excuse me sorry pardon me what is with your head wait wait whoa whoa i swear this isn't just a look at her boobs something went wrong with the morph all right sorry back to serious business man my family's not gonna be happy about that i gotta make sure i have enough energy when i get back from my wife you know this is so bizarre i thought it was just going to be a show up at the border and there you go kind of thing but apparently it's so much more it's like a dream come true which is odd because the live stream simulator really consumed my existence and i would hate it if this one's game loop is just satisfying enough that it actually made me really interested in the game that would be something else i don't know why i'm automatically assuming that's a bad thing but something about it feels like it's a bad thing maybe i should hit a deer and then put it in my trunk i could feed my family excuse me dear dear locked on target baby get ready to get screwed that is a tough deer all right how about with an axe well axe gotta do it right hey [ __ ] no no no no no i'm gonna whump you in your butt really really this is doing nothing for you this is not doing a thing all right fine i'm wasting all my energy that i'm going to give to my wife i hope time was kind of paused while we were doing this because this is going to be a problem and a quarter of a tank of gas just to get there i'm taking the bus from now on also if this is the border where where are people you know usually borders people kind of come and go is this a parking spot i don't know bye okay bye are you gonna explain this weird job oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh that's fine hello hello hello start working yeah sure uh military hat sure danger open it you need permission a rest you need a key turn on operating system scanner approval stamp rejection stamp okay this is way different than i thought it'd be oh but it's gonna be like yeah all right speech speech history announcements announcement number one anyone who wants to cross a border needs an entry permit due to fraud and passports okay example entry permit okay diplomats need a diplomat entry permit and a passport they are not affected by general rules okay tutorials okay look at this i i i know the general gist of it sniper i get to shoot people you know let's just go for it uh this clearly ain't gonna be good on my first try but the thief stole your my uncle's bed what next come on in uh my my uncle's bed was just stolen i could have sworn he was on it what's wrong with your tired of these controls that's the purpose of your visit uh entry permit wait a minute wait wait a minute well this ain't you this ain't you at all no i deny you bam you get denied [ __ ] take him get out of here uh hang on i'm new to this um because sworn that maybe that would be it and you'd go but can you leave me alone can i detect you um really don't know what the hell i'm doing can you go what do i do what do i do leave me alone i'm so unbelievably lost i'm gonna shoot him i'm shooting him rest this man oh [ __ ] oh details about the citizen a man is dead not guilty in juicier is a little faster we don't have the money to put people in prison oh ah oops next who's next all right hey how you doing don't worry about a thing everything's gonna be fine hello good work thank you purposes of your visit are you guys soulless in any good blazes inside uh i have a wife thank you very much okay names max of work date of birth always be in order let's see if it works let's let's see what happens hey let's roll the dice here oh give oh you just click and get oh you don't die today what you made one mistake the penalty will be applied at what there was a c form she had a bomb she had a [ __ ] bomb huh do you got a bomb you get scanned first [ __ ] okay oh [ __ ] i thought i heard him didn't didn't it beep what's happening oh it's cuz his computer okay never mind it's a little gift what what's a gift to me what's the gift you dare you dare bribe me looks like you didn't need to because everything's in order so didn't really have to everything seems to match up am i crazier is this just a nice gift thanks for the gift man hey there was someone with a bomb the other day so i mean two minutes ago you know glad you are understanding thank you oops sorry meant to do this there you go and i'll take one of these thanks bud next you're gonna get scanned hey you got bombs on you really worried about bombs today for some reason came for the doctor okay i'm sure we have good doctors here this ain't you at all what's wrong with you get get out get just get go before i have you shot which apparently i can do get out of here get out of here yeah well your picture didn't match you're not the lady with a bomb you're lucky i didn't shoot you next all right get in here faster come on chippity chop hip [Music] this is my country this here okay well this okay this well that's just this is not right you see how you see how this is kind of terrible you see you do you see how this is i could shoot you and no one would say a word it cost me five bucks and i just got five bucks letting you off with a little warning then the warning says get out you hate me well i hate you we all hate you and but you know what loves you a bullet a bullet would love you i swear to god if you blow me up i will blow you away wait a minute something's going on here a fork why do you have a fork side of the alarm he's got a fork arrested wait is a fork okay or something oh a fork's okay isn't oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] anyway maybe i was supposed to die oh god he was so nice oh god no wait hang on oh [ __ ] yeah yep yeah that's my bad yes my bad boss yeah boss that's my bad what is our boat coming in well looks good to me so i don't think you need to worry about a thing uh seems to match up pretty good um got about i'm like two for four on killing people coming through here so you are in luck you're improving my ratio and you get to go on vacation i think it's a good day for everybody there's that and there's that i didn't scan you probably fine shut this bad boy down blood um how much money did i make i am so out of energy i got 12 bucks did i make money today i feel like i didn't make money all right on the way home to my beautiful wife and family and mother-in-law maybe i could grab an energy drink on the way back or something i really shouldn't have spent my money on that party but it was a bitchin party remembering that ladies undulating facial structure i guess she had boobs too so that was cool i'm guessing that this isn't why they should pick their border agents by lottery because it just so happens that like half of the people going through are gonna get shot which seems excessive am i still allowed to go on this party or do i have to pay again cause i got just enough money to go again again i got an axe hell yeah hey guess who's back it's me [Music] i don't think any of the other ones they're doing this great insane face thing your beer beer and i'm sober okay i'm out of here i've sobered up real good i'm i'm good man i'm good now back to my beautiful wife and smart son and loving mother-in-law and bedless uncle do i need to buy him a new bed is it is that a thing that i need to do let's see about getting more energy watch out i've killed people for way less oh hand brakes are for nerds hey do you have an energy drink of some kind i need an energy drink did i drink it is it in my inventory cool glug how do i do i do i drink it how do i drink i did it i gotta make sure i make sweet tender love to my wife and chocolate for my son but sweet tender love for my wife okay i'm full of energy vim vigor all that stuff i am less than half full gas there is no way in hell i'm driving there number one it seems to take forever number two i gas is probably very expensive and i barely have enough for chocolate and crazy dance raves and those are essentials hey look a shortcut a shorty cut geez honey i'm nearly home for that sweet loving oh god no i'm fine i might as well park it here because i'm never going to drive it again so like screw that get out of my life honey hi mom his bed's gone geez it is hey kid kid you want some chocolate you want you want chocolate there you go sunny wife let's meet in the night already agree okay do we just do i just do i you want to just can't really shut the door so mother-in-law is going to be peering around the corner there uh all right let's get to sleepy slough i guess oh wife jesus christ holy crap oh my god what oh my god i'm depressed and i'm dead what i get jump scared by my own wife and then that happens what in the fresh hell was that okay so this is off to a bad start but now that i've learned i think i can do this better now but god damn it i'm gonna have to drive aren't i [ __ ] does that mean i can't do raves i don't know if i want to go through this again but i will for the sake of my family to not die of starvation because i went to one too many raves wife yeah you can have a cigarette there you go that's me in the night why are you less happy could you remember remember how we all starved here fix fix fix the situation with my son no with my wife did i just have i just given away all i've just given away all my money i'm we're gonna die i have to go back here we go okay all right i swear to god i'm not a failure family i'm not a failure i don't need to open the door i know i know i know a wife wife you are so sad i don't know why bam you get happiness and let's meet in the night she she denies me all right whatever it's fine a border open i'll be back family i'll be back hey what's up okay yeah uh-huh we we're good let's go my family hates me i just lucked out last time apparently or they remember just what exactly i did all right let's go for it we're going to take all the shorty cuts because we don't have time to waste a round okay i'm going to speed through these people if you don't pay your rent you're done yeah i missed that whole part of it nailed it hopefully it doesn't seem like there's car damage so that's good all right we're doing it we're doing it we're doing it we're doing it get out of the way get out of the way all the way all the way out of the way oh my god oh my god i am kind of dumb guys i'm starting to realize that um i'm a little uh dumb i don't take things seriously on the first go and then i just make more work for myself because i'm dumb but here we go back to the border back to make everything good for the people of stor vorska oh there's the bus okay when does the bus come do i have any cool my god do i have any clock at all is there any clock bob [ __ ] also buy a car apparently bye whatever it don't matter okay i'm gonna nail this one n i know exactly what to do next for your documents give me the scan oh you see four lady where's the bomb get my gun my freaking gun oh oh oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] arrest put on my military i'm worried about this because i feel like she would just blow it up right she would just blow up nicely done next don't worry about that fine don't worry about it it's all good hey buddy how are you did i shoot you last time i hope i didn't you are such a nice owahamaho indeed all right everything's looking in order here uh dude what did he i wasn't paying attention i gotta look at the dialogue again what did you say your birth student okay cool you're good to go buddy you're good to go give me approval on this bad boy and for bomb and my uncle's bed has been stolen for some reason all right here we go can i i would love to grab this what there what [Applause] i'll shoot you get out of here there's that and shut up shut up next my wife will be here tomorrow don't let them through cryeva crieva creava okay so crieva i don't let her through okay this is all looking great i like this and you know what i i hear you about the wife am i right yeah oh yeah you got it buddy thanks for the tip next i'm flying through these i'm gonna make so much money today it's based on person right get out of here get out of here let me make sure you don't need to be arrested first you freak oh what is this what is this a spoon no spoons get out of here hate you too buddy hate you too well look at this fun gentlemen look at this look at this fine gentlemen look at this half-life 2 model gentlemen diplomat okay so they just need the diplomat permit shalom yep yoleshi name number all good to me you're good to go buddy you're good to go hey congratulations on being a diplomat whatever that means and does next get here now hi [Music] don't try to fake me out with that kind of stuff it would never work did what did you say your visit before was was a visit transfer no no no you said transfer how freaking dare you don't lie to me don't mind me my ears cheek man hey chick man hey chick chick with your pants documents out of these controls yeah me too buddy me too buddy business huh it's not this you shut your face and get out of my place wish i had rejected your mom you will never never born look look man i shot you last time i could do it again it cost me five bucks hey this is the guy's pictures on your passport hello oh what do we got oh [ __ ] oh god the rest is man simple farmer with a butcher knife time to go all right good day's work hey this is job well done what a day time to get back to my wife get some cigarettes for her get some chocolate for the sun maybe a beer i'm full of money look at my money i feel like i wasn't paid per person 33 bucks doesn't seem like a lot of money i had 15 going into that i feel like i should have made more than 18 i mean i did get docked pay once but thought i would have made more baby oh you indestructible deer [ __ ] you get out of here before i ruin your entire existence okay hey what's up man give me an energy drink please energy discount rate because i'm happy is that is that true chocolate for the boy cigarettes for the wife where's the cigarettes oh you don't have cigarettes there we go uh sir are you okay and on the way home won't be much longer now family who i love very dearly and i do this for and i struggle every day because it's worth it and at the end of the day i get to see the happiness of my family and that is what gets me through the day that's all that really matters in the end the happiness of my family and seeing their smiling faces every time i come home honey i'm home please honey please there's hell out there i literally don't have enough gas to go there and back again give me the drink give me the juice so i can make sweet tender love to my wife wife cigarette let's meet in the night oh we'll be energetic all right son chocolate you work on that voice of yours i'm not gonna pay until we know we can afford it sleep get ready for i had to be more it's not worth it no sorry not worth it all right i've been broken by this game it's too much it's too real it's too close to real it's too close to home it's too it's too good for me the weak willed person that i am is too much going through that drudgery every day and not even getting the sweet tender loving of my wife but oddly enough this game was surprisingly decent it definitely is more than papers please because it's the whole thing i'm pretty sure this is not going to be a situation like a live stream live streaming simulator where i'm going to keep playing it in the background i think a one and done is good for me i'm i'm set thank you everybody so much for watching if you want to check this out link in the description but just warning you it's real fun thank you and as always i will see you in the next video [Music] go

Channel: Markiplier

Views: 4,774,263

Keywords: markiplier, border officer, papers please, gaming, funny games, simulator, simulator games, funny simulator, sim game, funny moments, funny, broken games

Id: kZtQoQR-40U

Length: 27min 6sec (1626 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 25 2021