Being Disabled Has Its Perks. Josh Blue - Full Special

this has got to be the best make-a-wish ever well people always ask me if this bracelet is one of those copper magnetic healing bracelets how does that thing work oh yeah man i was in a wheelchair last week this thing's been kicking some butt for me man i'm gonna put it on this arm next week actually i better take it off soon you know i don't want to get too better that might mess up my gig you know [Music] i have to tell corny white guy jokes i don't know thank you my man i gotta say this has got to be the best make-a-wish ever [Applause] thanks for playing along i'm sure you can all write this off it is fun man i love telling jokes i do a lot of shows i uh travel all over this beautiful country of ours and uh i've been seeing more handicap accessible stuff going in everywhere it's great really well needed but i i gotta tell you as a physically disabled person i kind of feel obligated to use that stuff you know how awkward that is when i'm on a date and i have to use the ram pillow [Applause] this walgreens is up on a hill i don't know oh honey let me get the door for you who says shiveria's dead huh [Music] [Laughter] i'm sure uh sure glad we got cell phones uh you know come a long way the flip phone was no good for me that uh i missed a lot of coal calls with that one you know gotta get a oyster sucker to open it he's still better than when you had to write down your number and give to a girl okay uh let me get you my number i gotta get this stack of paper here uh seven [Music] two nine sheets later like here you go baby don't mix them up [Applause] i went to new york recently and i tried to hail a taxi and i caught a pigeon [Applause] hello [Music] [Applause] just uh let me know when you're ready [Applause] man i still don't think he's ready i don't want to hurt nobody [Music] i didn't even know i had to pitch until i was in the camp it didn't make it oh no tell me about the rabbits i know that uh some of you know who i am [Applause] yeah but i'm also well aware that maybe this is your first time seeing me and if that's the case then i'm pretty sure you're confused right now this can't be the thing right [Laughter] it is good to be here you know i'm not from salt lake but i look like i am [Applause] just another wobbly guy on the sidewalk [Applause] i'm a comedian i made eight bucks walking over here oh thank you by the way i i didn't spend it wisely it's a fun time i've been enjoying it uh somebody at my hotel ran up on me like hey man did i see you on tv i'm like well how am i supposed to know [Laughter] if you don't know i don't know and then tonight i was coming into the show somebody on the street one of you guys probably just it's all exciting it's like hey i came here just to see you i'm like well i guess he can go home [Applause] then mission accomplished [Laughter] well i'd like to mention i have cerebral palsy i like to get that out of the way early in the show i do talk about it a little bit you know there's a few reasons i talk about number one is i've come to find if i don't mention it after a little while the audience is like does he know he has that [Laughter] another big reason is everything i talk about comes from the perspective of a disabled person right i mean this is all that i've ever known i guess i'll admit that early in my career i tried to do my show from a southern belle point of view could never get that to play quite right you know dear diary haven't been right since mr earl left you guys are a fun crowd man well i could uh definitely say there's a few people still looking at me like what's after this a juggler come on yeah fernando and you're gonna love him yeah he can juggle other midgets [Music] so if you are one and uh just be ready the bar might not be as dry after this well you're looking at me that that guy does not look dry at all clean comedy you should take a shower first thank you i do i took two showers today i just looked dirty i don't know [Laughter] we're being me i gotta say you know i gotta since i live in like a dual world like we're walking down the street and somebody come back oh can i get an autograph i saw you on tv and then like two steps later like get away from me your drunk ass either way i ask for a dollar [Applause] you know what they say when one door closes it locks behind you so he's got to go to the next house use a window if you have to a lot of people don't know this about me but for many years i was a member of the u.s paralympic national soccer team [Applause] where were you guys at the games sure could have used those 30 clips i know many of you maybe don't know what the paralympics are uh which is unfortunate because it's the second largest sporting event on the planet it's uh the uh olympics for people with physical disabilities uh yeah i mean we're second largest only to the um able-bodied olympics oh yeah i must be tough running with two legs [Applause] none but punks to us i love being on that team it was an amazing experience traveling the world i got to go to the old four paralympics in athens greece again thank you for that me and my teammates didn't have to get worried about getting tested for any performance enhancing drugs we did not represent the country well sorry everybody i was just not good we didn't do good at all well we're playing against teams like brazil and russia like teams that have a program that they live together all year round and practice twice a day and uh we didn't do that we lost to russia eleven to one and the one was they scored on themselves they just got tired of shooting on our goalies take some real shots and he saved a bunch of their shots they're so good man i found out the coach don't like when you high-five the other team when they're oh that was awesome man how'd you do that some of those players that were so good like the russian team i'm just on the field looking at them like okay well there's nothing even wrong with that guy right there [Applause] i call bs number five man [Applause] we better get a neurologist out here then he run by be like oh man his hands on backward okay i got injured in one of the games in the in the paralympics and uh my coach had the nerve to put me on the disabled list it should not somehow make me better the two raw cancels itself out or something i had a lot of fun with my teammates it was just cool getting to hang out with other physically disabled dudes you know we've all been through some of the same stuff and uh we just got really comfortable uh being disabled we got so comfortable that like on trips uh we came up with this game where we would see who could hold open their jacked up hand longer [Applause] [Applause] good game good game you get to hold the dead pigeon you guys remember from earlier you guys remember i do miss uh being on the paralympic team one thing i really miss is traveling with everybody because uh i gotta say there's nothing more entertaining than watching 12 dudes with cerebral palsy get off an airplane in a row everybody in the terminal thinks there's some type of zombies [Applause] he's the goalie none of us really walk like that you know we just just like messing around here see how far through customs we can get last one days loses you know my whole life i've always had people uh kind of stare at me and uh you know i thought it was because of my cerebral palsy and then i i went to the paralympics and then uh in the cafeteria there's like 3 000 disabled people uh trying to get lunch and then i went in there and everybody's staring at me on my clothes there's a guy over there eating with his foot [Music] [Laughter] one thing i don't miss about being on the team is uh our coach used to make us all dress alike you know represent your country which is great that's awesome i love representing our wonderful beautiful country but you know we're a bunch of crippled dudes trying not to stick out as it is you know got us all wearing the same goofy tracksuit all i'm saying coach is just give us a chance [Laughter] just a chance we got people walking by us like oh that's nice they took them to the mall some of them got stuff and if i say something that offends you i really do apologize that's not my intention but uh if i do just think of it this way i'll just have really well-timed tourettes [Applause] that's the great thing about having a disability when you have one you can have them all nobody's going to call you on that one i'll tell you hey josh you weren't blind yesterday help me cross the street let's see how long we can hold this hand open you guys remember from earlier yeah i just had this happen to me again i was at a restaurant with a bunch of friends and the server went around the table and took everyone's order and then when they got to me they're like and what will he have my buddy was like i'm guessing to talk with your manager [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] free dinner [Applause] now that i know that little trick i'm walking in like a zombie invasive a lot of fun thank you so much you

Channel: Dry Bar Comedy

Views: 3,100,971

Rating: 4.9386039 out of 5

Keywords: Clean Comedy, Dry Bar Comedy, Stand Up Comedy, Worlds Largest Library of Clean Comedy, Josh Blue, Josh Blue Dry Bar Comedy, Josh Blue Comedy, Josh Blue Comedian, Dry Comedy Bar, Dry Comedy Stand Up, Clean Stand Up, Clean Stand Up Comedy, Clean Stand Up Comedy Clips, Clean Stand Up Comedy Routines, Clean Stand Up Comedy 2020, Clean Stand Up Comedy Full Show, Dry Bar Comedy Full Show, disabled, disabled people, special olympics, paralympics, soccer, zombie, cerebral palsy comedian

Id: kqs18nd0qgk

Length: 24min 13sec (1453 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 29 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/ALIENANAL]

Fuckn killed it!

[u/thenixnerd]

This dude is from my city. Local legend.

[u/P2K13]

Didn't expect an Of Mice and Men reference :D

[u/not_a_name_]

My cheeks hurt from laughing so much. He's the funniest comedian I've seen in a long time.

[u/hosingdownthedog]

This guy is a great comedian but unfortunately every time I have seen him he's been a one trick pony. For 20+ years his only schtick is his disability (from watching him perform more than a dozen times in the last 20 years from 10 minutes to full sets). I don't think he would have won Last Comic Standing without it. That's where I fell out of love with Josh b/c every single set was about his disability. The other comedians brought so much to the table and had a great diversity of jokes but not Josh. When he does occasionally step outside of the disability wheelhouse his jokes are weak. The one in this set about guy running up to him and asking if he had seen Josh on TV. This is such a recycled and lame joke that it shouldnt be part of 20+ comedy veterans routine but it still brings a huge laugh from the crowd.

Not bashing him for the disability. Bashing him for using it as crutch that I feel holds him back from being a truely legendary comedian.

[u/pixiepunch16]

Love this so much

[u/djphatjive]

I live in Denver area and got out of my car to go to the trunk and turned around and josh blue was right behind me getting out of a car. That’s the end of the story. I didn’t bug him.

[u/alex_dlc]

One of the best sets I've seen in years

[u/auctor_ignotus]

Damn good comic