4 Famous Movie Lessons (That Make Zero Sense) - YBOC (Godzilla, MCU)

i'm super excited to let you guys know that once again this episode is made possible thanks to nordvpn and our promotion deal thing is going to run out in just a couple of weeks meaning this is kind of your last chance to get 70 off a three-year plan plus one additional month for free when you go to nordvpn.com yboc or use the code yvoc at checkout and with our code it's like 349 per month so get the deal now before it's too late hey there nerds my name is dr jordan breeding and this is now a teaching hospital because it kind of fits with the theme of this episode and you're about to be a part of your brain on crack the show where i teach you how to be more annoying at parties and the only show on crack where actually mispronouncing names and words means you're super smart because it means you read more than you watch tvs that's why it happens sometimes okay anyway today i'll help you to diagnose if jiren work didn't properly explain why its main character shot 11 000 people in the head counter reeves would have come across like a sociopath but we do have an explanation bad guys killed a puppy so i'm completely on board with him murdering a small city but sometimes a movie overly justifying its plot just makes things worse after destroying the planet for like the 40th time since 2008 marvel screenwriters decided to address how hulk's primary mode of transportation causes insane freaking collateral damage even when he's just making a quick whole foods run so in captain america civil war the u.n tells the avengers they can no longer be an independent entity what would you call a group of us-based enhanced individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who frankly seem unconcerned about what they leave behind well the obvious answer is billions of dollars of revenue baby the avengers are ultimately forced to grapple with the implications of their actions tony stark agrees to subject the avengers to international oversight but captain america believes this could hinder their ability to act swiftly and effectively in response to threats it's a serious and thought-provoking debate which the movie just checks out the window so all the life-sized action figures can go beat the [ __ ] out of each other at an airport you have a metal arm that is awesome dude when iron man and captain america do finally let their fist do the talking they're really just mad at each other over the fate of cap's friend bucky and the role he played in the death of stark's parents neither are truly worried about the effects of superheroes on the modern world after they're done pounding each other into pg-13 pulp they go their separate ways cap is a sexy outlaw stark is a sexy company man and they're both seen as right in their own way your judgment is askew except the movie never answers ross's question though they do destroy a lot of public property pretending to debate it oh come on oh man i thought it was a water truck superheroes probably shouldn't be allowed to act with impunity because all of their self-created problems are racking up civilian deaths and destruction around the globe and as vision points out the very existence of superheroes seems to create more super villains you're unbearably naive i was born yesterday but that serious answer doesn't allow for more globe smash and movies so civil war pretends both options are viable and even though that'll likely result in law-abiding superheroes hunting down rogue superheroes inevitably leading to misunderstandings unnecessary civilian and superhero deaths new supervillains and likely the destruction of the entire planet maybe in the next avengers movie will learn that the whole series was just a dream happy had after too many cheeseburgers i'ma get you all the cheeseburgers you want the most difficult aspect of writing a heist film isn't constructing a cool and compelling plan or convincing the producers to let you shoot on location in strip club it's somehow making a group of burglars look good guys so you want to make sure you always got more positive than negative criminals who exclusively steal from cancer patients might not come across as very sympathetic so screenwriters will go to often insane links to find somebody that's justifiable to rip off do you know what nemesis means a righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent in ocean's 11 the true motivation behind the heist is getting danny's ex back into his sensuous big old clooney arms relationships can be sure but they're also that's right and technically she left him when he went to jail but true love means never having to explain your criminal record you're a thief and a liar i only lied about being a thief i don't do that anymore steal lie danny makes benedict agree to dump julia roberts in exchange for information on what happens who has recently stolen 160 million freaking dollars money that he needs to presumably among other things pay his employees tommy has a baby very well thank you remembers every valet's name on the way in unbeknownst to benedict julie roberts sees all this on camera and decides benedict is a jerk because apparently wanting to shun of your own money back means that he deserved to be robbed in the first place what if i told you i could get your money back if you give up tess i would say yes the heist elements of inception also needed a sound reason for the ensuing dream rape how does christopher nolan justify what appears to be an unspeakably immoral act one that recently led to our hero's wife killing herself why by claiming that her heroes are using it to break up an energy conglomerate monopoly you see right there you have various political motivations and anti-monopolistic sentiments if this guy doesn't decide to divide his company they'll become a new superpower and what is consent in the face of the free market let me kiss if inception really wanted to be morally pure it would have been two hours of rigorously applying anti-trust laws you mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger darling the fast and furious movies stop every 12 minutes to explain that the federal agents are mean liars and the only good people in the world are murderous criminals with a soft spot for a good corona light you can have any brew you want as long as it's a corona maybe movies should just admit that similar to having sex in a public park stealing is wrong but it's a hell of a lot of fun to watch we don't need more justification than that there have been roughly two godzilla movies made for each of us alive today but the 2014 american iteration sets out to decipher the portly lizard's intentions for the world sure he may be a massive reptile who can breathe fire and accidentally topple skyscrapers every time he so much as sneezes but maybe he's also a sweetheart after about a week of watching monsters destroy cities from honolulu to las vegas dr ichiro sarazawa looks at all the burning rubble and thinks hey this godzilla fella seems like a good dude who's trying to help us out sara zawa figures that the best course of action is to let godzilla reach san francisco so he can engage in fisticuffs with the two big ass nuclear leviathans already nesting there when admiral stens wonders if maybe we shouldn't let prehistoric monsters tear apart an entire city that already has a really high cost of living saraswar responds the arrogance of man is thinking that they control nature and not the other way around let them fight still skeptical about allowing three enormous beasts to destroy an entire city in the hopes that the winner is pro-america and loves apple pie sten suggests using nuclear force sarah rezab encounters by pulling out a watch that his father was wearing during the hiroshima bombing it no longer works because nukes and that's poignant and i get it but the idea that godzilla should be allowed to destroy san francisco since he looks like a good dude is a pretty big gamble even if godzilla is trying to help out he does some of the most destructive way freaking possible nobody is advocating san francisco be nuked but rather godzilla should be stopped before he gets there maybe nukes aren't the solution but it's flat out irresponsible to take a wait-and-see approach with rampaging city leveling beast also the movie can conclude hiroshima is bad so skyscraper-sized lizards they might be okay you're lying the adjustment bureau is a two-hour exploration of determinism free will in fedoras [Music] all of human history is controlled by a secret administration and humanity has no true free will because everything is planned by the mysterious chairman who is just literally god this doesn't sit well with congressman matt damon who discovers their secret plans and decides to defy the blueprint for his life he doesn't have any profound moral or theological reasons for this he just wants to hook up with a random woman he made out with in a bathroom once and no god is more powerful than emily blunt's plunging neckline not about her it's about you or being with her does to you using his stiff boner as a divining rod damon continually has run-ins with his one-time toilet fling and together they managed to stay one step ahead of the chairman's way to invest in our sex life's angels if we're close enough we can sense when it's going to happen and when the angels do finally catch up the rapidly blue balling damon asks in frustration whatever happened free will and the response is we already tried that twice in fact the first attempt resulted in the dark ages so the chairman resumed control and gave humanity the renaissance enlightenment and scientific revolution believing humans had learned their lesson the chairman took his hand off the wheel again and what did we do steered right into two world wars and genocide what is it when does that matter because it matters after the cuban missile crisis the freewill experiment was shut down and making out with emily blunt was decreed to be against god's will because that's how you get nazis i guess are you a registered new york voter do i sound like i am but stop and think about every horrible event in human history that didn't occur during the first half of the 20th century or the dark ages the chairman was in charge during colonialism slavery the civil war vietnam 9 11 and countless other atrocities how could say the cambodian killing fields or the bosnian genocide possibly fit into the plans of a secret society that is supposedly trying to lead humanity to enlightenment this is one of the few stories that just would have made more sense if the evil guys were evil because you know they're evil oh come on no no what the hell hey guys so we've mentioned several times before how nordvpn can be used to expand your viewing options on streaming platforms like netflix by letting you watch other countries catalogs but today i just really quickly wanted to highlight nordvpn's security features because here's the thing we've all made some unethical decisions while perusing the internet and we might not want everyone knowing how many times we googled american godzilla thick with two cs and uh thankfully nordvpn is perfect for that as well they can't give anybody your info because they do zero data logging like they couldn't even give it to you if you asked because they never tracked it in the first place and again this specific promotion ends in just a couple of weeks which means this is your last chance to get nordvpn for just 3.49 per month plus an additional free month when you go to nordvpn.com yboc or use the code at checkout and when you add the streaming bonuses on top of the security stuff and the fact that it's literally risk-free like you get your money back after 30 days if you don't like it there's no reason not to try it everybody wins including this show that is made possible in part through your guys support of nordvpn whoa thank you for that [Music] okay so suggested that godzilla exercise more recommended hulk use postmates or something and blame god for every bad thing that's ever happened ever minus nazis that's on us anyway i think that's all you need to remember for the test be sure to see kathy on your way out for some sweet sweet adderall to help you study and to reduce your distracting sex drive look at you caleb what look man you don't want to be a purple nose little [ __ ] with an apple taint and a finger do you no subscribe

Channel: Cracked

Views: 85,249

Rating: 4.7256403 out of 5

Keywords: Cracked, Your Brain on Cracked, Iron Man, Avengers, Captain America, Oceans 11, Oceans Eleven, Godzilla, Godzilla 2014, The Adjustment Bureau, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Suicide Squad, Joker, Movie Tropes, Movie Secrets, movie clips, marvel, comic book movies, sci fi movies, action movies, movie easter eggs, movie lessons, movie ethics, humor, comedy, jordan breeding, caleb gritsko, cracked.com, ethics, Sokovia Accords, Thanos, Tony Stark, Hulk

Id: 3p-omryyMHU

Length: 11min 25sec (685 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 31 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Progman3K]

Good job, JB!

I fear the day when you'll be recognized as being "That guy from Cracked" because they'll immediately can you.