4 Behind-The-Scenes Facts That Ruin Your Favorite Movies - YBOC (Jurassic Park)

[Music] hey there nerds i'm dr jordan breeding and i keep forgetting the particulars of this doctor bit because i really didn't expect to make this many appointments so anyway i have your results right here is a thing that i've forgotten to say a lot recently anyway you're watching another episode of your brain on crack the show that's probably too transparent at times and the only show on cracked wear if i can take you behind the scenes for a second under my lab coat is a moist swamp of sweat and sadness so today i'll illuminate one of the great things about movies is they take us to other times and places like a time when stupid little space bears could bring down an empire or places where nicholas cage's head is on fire [Music] unfortunately our terrible real world can sometimes leak into these fantasy worlds and ruin everything for instance it's a little harder uh enjoying ferris bueller's day off when you learn that he's being chased by a character played by a real-life pedophile the movie still works it just seems like the stakes are suddenly really high so here are some other behind the scenes facts that will ruin some of your other favorite films come on down here and smooch my big old white butt do you remember the pure terror you felt as those jurassic park velociraptors stalk those unlikable kids and threaten to shred their little child tummies tommy's not that different from yours by the way those dinosaurs were a nightmare too fast to outrun too lethal to fight too clever to trick and they could talk to each other with just a few grunts and honks they could coordinate efficient child belly ripping attacks as a raptor squad across the belly spilling your intestines you know what might have made that scene less horrifying if you could somehow go back in time and explain to your younger self that all those hawks and grunts are actually just the sounds of adorable turtles freaking plowing each other velociraptors had unfortunately died out like just before spielberg and his team were able to record what their language sounded like and anyone who enjoys dinosaur science so everyone knows that archaeologists are always changing their minds about dinosaur specifics we used to think they roared then we thought they maybe quacked and apparently the sound designer of jurassic park decided yeah maybe they sound like turtles having sex [Music] gary first heard the beautiful haunting sounds when he was at marine world it was this urgent reptilian barking perfect for the dinosaur movie he was working on he rushed to locate the source what could sound so intelligent yet so primal well turns out it was the sound of two horny turtles banging each other instead of saying oh it's turtle sex i was hoping i could find something to use for my movie he began to record them see the lack of humility before nature that's being displayed here um staggers me i'm not gonna start another tired debate with you guys about where the line is between turtle pornography and turtle art but regardless it's a lot of work to make the sound engineer claims that tortoises mating can take a long time like you've got to have plenty of time to sit around and watch them and record them and i'm hoping that's true and not just an excuse he came up with for why he comes home later and later every night but anyway the next time you're watching jurassic park and those scary raptors are speaking to each other just picture a man sitting outside a tortoise enclosure watching them go down on each other for a very long time the fast and the furious series seems to be about how drag racing somehow prepares you for a life of sophisticated military operations in heist but as any true fan knows the series is actually about family and how familial bonds are like twin nitrous oxide bottles pouring into the toyota super engine that is your life i mean when you're living a quarter of a mile at a time family is the handbrake that lets you drift around crippling emotional obstacles they've got the most important pink slip of all the pink slipped to your heart freaking family man you get it but what's real is family the first movie of that series are what future civilizations will one day describe as the first piece of true art introduces us to dominic toretto a street racing legend played by moaning baby headed actor vincent diesel i don't have friends he leads a gang no a family of street racers which includes his girlfriend michelle rodriguez and his sister jordana brewster it's no exaggeration to say that they use their fast cars and driving skills to car race every single one of their enemies to death the only problem is while they were filming the fast and furious those three actors might have been the three worst drivers on the planet rodriguez and brewster didn't know how to drive at all before making the movie and badass action star and future iconic drag racing hero ven diesel had no clue how to drive a stick shift [Music] of course there's suspension of disbelief in every movie i assume russell crowe doesn't actually have a beautiful mind in real life but still i would expect say martial art stars to at least know how to kick a little ass and surely actors playing a doctor at least know how to sanitize their hands god it's projectile vomiting right in my eyes and it burns i don't think it's unfair to assume that racing superheroes could at least drive themselves and their toned asses to the set driving is so necessary to so many people's lives it's almost harder to not know how to drive especially after your agent tells you you got a part in something called the fast and the furious did they think it was about bicycle racing cranky competitive eating having violent sex with turtles that's ridiculous turtles have sex very slowly and over the course of many hours and it sounds like the rights of the animal actors have come a long way since that scientific apple thomas edison filmed the electrocution of a real elephant back in 1903 and generally speaking it's now frowned upon for filmmakers to brutally murder animals even if it helps motivate john wick i'm sorry animal stunts are performed by expert handlers and they're well-trained best friends which yeah sometimes looks like a guy just yanking a horse into the ground but still it's a lot more humane than shooting them so you know get off my back peter and besides it would ruin the movie for everyone if we actually knew that old yeller was shot in the face by an actual trembling child oh yeah and yet during the filming of snow buddies straight to dvd sequel to airbud five puppies straight up died on set five and no it wasn't during some elaborate stunt for the final puppy fight scene they all just managed to catch some crazy virus the team knew that the puppies were sick but they bravely tried to work around the dog's illnesses anyway and when it was over five little puppies had died for what can now be considered the darkest disney original movie ever i can barely stay awake even worse the movie still lost like 30 million dollars that's like letting gollum bite your finger off for a chance at a second breakfast i mean sure there may be some joy but you've lost so much it's hardly worth it and that doesn't taste very nice thursday precious you know speaking of unhappiness and failure and gollum peter jackson's the hobbit also managed to kill 27 animals over the course of filming the trilogy which seems shocking considering these movies mostly look like a video game cut scene why do you like that the old twiddly wigglys apparently the main cause of death was neglect and poor conditions which is sad for the obvious reason and then sad again because it perfectly describes the making of the films themselves i mean these three garbage movies are like a monument to neglect and poor conditions by law sex involving underage people can be depicted on screen within very specific boundaries and while heavily monitored and by heavily monitored i mean the underage actors and or actresses need their parents to be there on set watching every confused awkward inexperienced thrust mclovin what the [ __ ] for instance because christopher men's plos was only 17 at the time of his infamous super bad sex scene his dear mother was forced to watch the whole thing in person the scene is awkward enough as is but mince ploss's mom was not only there and he just pulled out a tube of lube she's refused to talk about it with him since it just lingers there haunting their relationship making them ever so slightly lean away from each other every time there's a vaseline commercial on tv i'm really sorry that i blocked your [ __ ] and it's not only goofy love scenes and wacky comedies that require parents to hang around on set and watch their children pretend hump sometimes it's darker stuff like rape scenes and i'm of course talking about game of thrones probably the first thing you think of when you hear the phrase rape scenes what the show had an attempted rape scene in season two involving teenage sons of stark who's played by sophie turner who was underage at the time and the crazy thing about shooting that scene wasn't so much that her mom was there i mean she'd been watching her daughter do crazy for at least a year at this point it's that it was also the day that her dad decided to make a surprise appearance on set and just be like oh this is going great where's sophie filming today i'm her dad and i want to support god sophie sleep well and while both of those actors handled it well like professional turtles squirting into a sound designer's microphone julianne huff had a really hard veining time with her mom being on set during a sex scene for safe haven while her mom did have to be on set there was nothing that said that the two had to lock eyes during her simulated climax so huff demanded that her mom stay behind her and out of her sight line while she just gave it to her co-star oh oh oh ah you scared me i'm not sure that having your mother stare at your pumping butt cheeks makes things better but then again that's probably why i'm not asked to start any nicholas sparks movies yet also my parents just really don't like watching my butt pump do you think it's just a face i hope so all right well looks like i spent most of this episode in the better part of three months researching turtle sex but it's nothing i hadn't already seen on zabuma food so calm down mom he's hard i guess on your way i'll uh go talk to kathy and see if she's got some crickets or some [ __ ] like whatever turtles eat because i assume you're gonna go buy one after this episode you sick bastards i just can't with them [Music] anybody know what this is they call this seth scope it's what doctors have surely somebody on this entire production crew could have reminded me to put it on caleb where were you man jordan i asked the same question jordan where were you caleb help me sometime jordan was it your fault jordan jordan jordan caleb jordan king kong is plastic so he's out it's caleb maybe not plastic not helpful jordan was it your fault that look there's a lot of people here caleb jordan

Channel: Cracked

Views: 90,073

Rating: 4.744565 out of 5

Keywords: cracked, your brain on cracked, jurassic park, velociraptor sounds, how were velociraptor sounds made, behind-the-scenes movie facts, the fast and furious, vin diesel can't drive, vin diesel, snow buddies death, snow buddies puppy deaths, snow buddies, turtle sex, tortoise sex velociraptor, jurassic world, mclovin, mclovin sex scene mom, movie secrets, cracked.com, mclovin mom, julianne hough sex scene, jordan breeding, movie tropes, zoboomafoo, underage actors

Id: -RgQt6TgeHY

Length: 11min 51sec (711 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 28 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/little_asian_man_89]

Keep it up bud. You’re doing great!

[u/crownamedcheryl]

Ugh...I miss quality content on cracked...