4 Sequels That Screw Up The Original Movie - YBOC (Star Trek, Star Wars)

oh hey there nerds your results just got back and my name is dr. Jordan breeding and if I ever have a son I definitely won't make him a direct follow-up the name of Jordan so I'd rather you have something really manly like Jeff firk blurrier barabbas whatever anyway you're watching a sequel to the previous episode of your brain on crack this show with perfect internal logic and the only show on crack that hopes you didn't notice that we changed the desk after the first episode because I need that desk to edit and this is just the table leaf but you didn't even notice it you I'm the Hulk of desks my secret is I'm always sitting at my desk so today I diagnose rewatching Terminator after t2 is even more fun knowing that Sarah Connor eventually becomes a stone called bad but rewatching Terminator after t3 however is about as disappointing as learning robots can inflate their boobs but won't do it for me I can no longer watch any Terminator movie without wondering if those are even Arnold's real butt cheek sir if he's just trying to impress me and that's what these sequels are like Arnold's butt cheese [Music] wrote one a Star Wars story is basically a feature-length attempt to explain why the Death Star was so easy to blow up now that a wookie slave got the sheets is no longer the official Canon explanation god I miss the Star Wars books si wrote one concludes with a massive battle over the planets scarf as the rebels attempt to steal the Death Star plans in order to blow that another movie and they succeed and the plans are transferred to Princess Leia ship using ancient space Wi-Fi Polar Express lay on her blockade runner managed to escape chaos and jump into hyperspace yes before Darth Vader murders the living hell out of every living thing I killed them I killed them all bad anyway rogue one retro actively physically places both Leia and Darth Vader at the battle scare where Vader watches Laius exact ship escape with his own presumably very frowny eyes I mean just imagine an upset hated question under that helmet and yet when invader catches up and boards lay a ship at the beginning of a new hope leia pretends that she's on a diplomatic mission except again vader literally just watched her fly here from a space battle like seven seconds ago it'd be just as effective to claim that a force ghost ate the Death Star plans and yeah lay as a tent may look ridiculous but Vader arguably looks even sillier for getting all flustered and arguing with her sad excuse of an excuse you applaud the Rebel Alliance and a traitor taken away it's hard to believe in mind-reading space wizard would be even remotely thrown by all no you must be looking for some other princess who recently come from off-limits planet where major data theft occur I was on way to space Walmart to buy a space Twinkies for me all-american during the Avengers second act Loki pulls what's known as a classic Joker move basically allows himself to be captured by the titular super squad whilst in prison Loki plays a bunch of mind games with the heroes he reveals shield owns a special cells designed specifically to hold and kill the Hulk he tricks thorne to getting locked up and he murders everybody's favorite dad character you should talk dad's chili man I know and that's all well and good and trickster god like of Loki but he really could have done way way more because just one year later and Thor the dark world games used worst movie since Thor Loki shows Thor the full range of his aluminum hours he can change his own appearance the appearance of his whole prison salad even the appearances of other people mmm brother you look ravishing with all that power what the hell was Loki doing ground and making people just a little bit upset you people are so Petty and tiny instead of merely escaping for example look he could have impersonating Nick fearing gone around giving mother contradictory orders on this Helicarrier and providing his army a key strategic advantage snakes look you could have made Maria hill look like somebody trying to steal Thor's autumnal Mead so if the word bash her skull and Macmillan or Loki could have made himself look like Steve Rogers and then seduce Tony Stark and manufactured both groups sexual tension and tasty fanservice you know damn well why back off I'm starting to want you to make me take that off I mean can you imagine thinking you hooked up with leading man super hunk Chris Evans only to realize he was actually leading man super hunk Tom Hiddleston I was very upset but instead Loki just straight leaves and goes on to fight the battle hoping it's enough to just be a skinny pale dude with a dummy donut Loki employs all this incredible destructive power to ultimately do little more than call Black Widow a [ __ ] and strategically eliminate shields assistant to the Regional Director I am burdened with glorious purpose cinematic masterpiece Star Trek beyond ends with a massive drone army destroyed by VHF radio waves transmitting sabotage by the Beastie Boys the joke is that Star Trek is set in the 23rd century meaning the Beastie Boys is now considered classical music and robots and I would rather commit suicide than listen to it is the saint of galactic culture that the Beastie Boys are apparently the only 20th century band innovate still listens to is a question for another drunker time [Music] but if sabotage by the Beastie Boys the Star Trek cannon and it stands to reason their entire back catalogue is as well including the poetic lyrics to intergalactic the Beastie Boys were apparently aware of mr. Spock hundred fifty years before he was born either there was some other pinch happy mr. Spock hanging out or three centuries before the movies began he was a big enough celebrity that his reference and rap song would makes sense or the Star Trek TV shows existence in universes also canon which implies that Gene Roddenberry accurately predicted most of Earth's future history centuries before it arrived and yet he didn't even think to warn us about Star Trek beyond keep in mind the 2009 Star Trek movie establishes a brand-new timeline technically distinct from the original show in films so the show could still exist in this timeline and if it did I mean it stands the reason it became so popular that James Tiberius Kirk and in Yatta Yatta are just insanely common names everybody has Jim Jim presumably every major development in human history in the new time I was like hey we should name our new space discovery initiative Starfleet like from that show we all love oh hell yeah and let's name our new government the United Federation of Planets oh I'm gonna name all seven of my kids Leonard bones McCoy and on and on and on for centuries until real life perfectly finally synched up with that weirdo from the 1960s and I guess by then they were so out of ideas they just started driving motorcycles around looking for purpose and their crappy meaningless lives the Harry Potter books and movies may be full of silly fantastic plot devices but I expect some consistency in my silly fantastic plot devices damn it the world in Korea doesn't have to be simple but it does have to be clear case in point there's a special type of spell in the Potter verse whereby a location can be hidden forever as long as the secret of its existence is kept by designated secret keeper while hiding from the murderous vote for it I can't he who must not be named Harry Potter's parents made their old pal Peter Pettigrew their secret keeper but unfortunately Pettigrew who betrayed the Potters indi and they're addressed to Pettigrew shape-shifted into a rat and spent more than a decade hiding inside a young boy's pants and if you've never seen Harry Potter I have to stress that no part of that last sentence is a joke anyway he-who-must-not-be-named uses the information to find and kill the Potters in front of their surprisingly resilient baby that's kicking off this entire franchise but here's the thing it turns out the Potters didn't have to take the risk of entrusting someone else boy your sick rats or otherwise with our secrets and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows we learn not only can you totally make someone living in your own house the secret keeper it could be yourself and it could possibly figure that out hell they could have used double protection and become each other secret keepers just like how the random old man at the hardware store suggested I wrap it up twice when I mentioned I was heading off to college at the end summer and I was like can I just go to my car literally nothing in the series would have happened if the potters had just read the fine print on the secret keeper spell book they purchased on Amazon how could I be stupid okay yeah Mock the deaths of a wizard orphans parents laid the foundations for a rule 34 Avengers movie and investigated whether Arnold's us truly can't quit yep got it all in join us next appointment when I diagnose your but for once you girly man oh my god did Arnold write that is here okay um quickly go see Kathy on your way out for some drugs for your let me see Wow cool biblical and you know what they say the Bible is the sequel to history so full circle [Applause] [Music] subscribe hit the bell

Channel: Cracked

Views: 92,425

Rating: 4.6527228 out of 5

Keywords: Your Brain on Cracked, sequels that screw up the original movie, movies, pop culture, star wars, avengers, loki, terminator, harry potter, movie tropes, beastie boys, star trek, comedy, voldemort, movie screw ups, movie mistakes, funny, humor, jordan breeding, caleb gritsko, andy sowar, bad movie plots, plots that ruin movies, after hours, small beans, MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Trek Beyond

Id: CR9wzbpLgJI

Length: 9min 53sec (593 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 05 2020