1 Hour Of The Smartest Vs The Dumbest People Of r/AskReddit

what have you witnessed someone do that made you realize he/she is really really smart my wife's grandfather he's a retired electrical engineer with a dozen patents to his name and a long list of recognitions I can't be bothered to remember or name I always knew he was brilliant but never realized just how until one day last year we were visiting and he got a phone call keep in mind he's been retired for 20 years and is 86 years old the phone call was from an electrical engineering firm from halfway across the globe asking if they could fly him out to a site and have him consult on the energy capture of a hydroelectric dam they were building they'd run into a problem that none of them all electrical engineers could solve they had consulted three of the top related university departments in the US on the issue and the last one had referred them to him 20 minutes on the phone and he agreed to think about it two days later he had solved their issue and written the solution on a single 8 X 11 sheet of paper which he scanned and emailed to the company he said he took so long to write it up because he didn't want to have to file all the way there at his age his explanation was so clear I was able to understand and follow it with no relevant higher education one time my drunk uncle was in jail and needed bail money and being that my dad was the only one in the family with any real savings they all look to him to fork up 100 percent the cash having been asked he realized this situation had two possible outcomes one pay for his bail and never get the money back to not pay for the bail and the whole family blame him for it so my dad decided to throw them a curve ball he told them that whatever the rest of the family raised for the bail he'll not only match it he'll offer double whatever they raised together nobody offered one cent blame averted poor drunk or I had a teacher in high school that using both hands could write a sentence starting from the beginning and end simultaneously he even split the middle word of the sentence he also spoke around five languages what the Frick I was playing the card game Egyptian rats Cree with some friends and then all of us noticed that one of our friends were slapping a bit too fast to be believed it turns out he was counting all of our cards and had each of our decks memorized which is just insane til it's not Egyptian rat screw older brother always was terrible at school I can remember him straight up asking why he needed to graduate high school and then again in college he then accepted a low-level job after graduation in marketing that ultimately fell apart due to the company executives screwing up big time during all of it he somehow was able to keep a small client and with him seven months of working was promoted to their executive marketing director making six figures now he has multiple clients on the side and is always scheming something up duties as hard-headed as they come but nonetheless a dang marketing genius blows my mind how far he has come I was once in Chinatown and I saw this old Chinese guy with a bunch of groceries he had tied the bags together by the handle and slung then over his shoulder he looked ridiculous the next week I was struggling with a lot of groceries and I remembered the old Chinese guy stopped on the sidewalk titled my bags together and walked home like the unencumbered dork I became that day not a person but my parents old dog my mom would get bones from the butcher shop for their dog they were long enough that the dog couldn't get all the marrow out of the center the dog figured out that only my stepdads truck was heavy enough to break them after experimenting with the other vehicles at the house there was usually a bone in the same spot on the driveway every time I went home reminds me of crows dropping nuts on crosswalks in high school I had a friend who we made fun of all the time for being dumb but he would have the wackiest ideas that would somehow work one time around Christmas of myself a more year a few of us had decided to buy a 30-pack and then later decided we didn't feel like drinking it that night I couldn't keep it at my house but one of my friend's parents was coming to pick all my buddies up nobody knew how they were going to get the xxx out of my house into one of their house then my friend came up with a genius idea he went upstairs in my house and wrapped the thirty and wrapping paper he then proceeded to carry it right out to the car with our friend's mom waiting and say it was a gift for his girlfriend who he was going to be seeing later that night I realized that not being great at school doesn't mean someone isn't ingenious I knew two guys an undergraduate who would play mental chess as they'd passed in the hall one guy would say Knight to Queen three or whatever the other guy would roll back his eyes for a second and then not to acknowledge the move both guys then kept walking in opposite directions later that day when they passed again the second guy would declare his counter move a game could last days and they never forgot where any of the pieces were each had a mental image of the board sure they might have been faking but these guys were always first and second on the deans on a list for all four years of my undergraduate I knew them pretty well I think the mental chess was legit most really good players can do this once someone becomes familiar enough with the game it becomes a lot easier to recognize patterns of course intelligence is required advantageous to get good at chess sitting in a best friend's apartment on the East Coast in the mid-1980s he's working on some code on a prototype UNIX workstation lips had given him he runs his program and it produces an answer then runs it again and produces a different answer thinks about it for a minute and pronounces the CPU is broken right the CPU is broken never heard that one before has it occurred to you that yes it had occurred to him went through three or four scenarios then he pulled out the machine level debugger and started stepping through the code look right here the flags weren't updated right in this instruction yet whatever sends email on the brand-new Internet to Mapes gets a response the next day oh you have that CPU we have verified your issue we will put a replacement in the mail promptly his CPU was broken 30 minutes from diagnosis to request to repair anybody who can explain highly complex things very simply it takes an intelligent person to understand it but it takes a brilliant person to grasp it so fully they can dumb it down to explain it to anybody I think it was fine man who tried to write an introductory textbook on some obscure topic and concluded that more research was needed because he was unable to explain the topic simply enough I was at my desk waiting to make a purchase over the phone and I mentioned to a co-worker that I always have to pull my credit card out I should have this number memorized by now another co-worker overheard that and said I know your visa number and spit it right out after I got off the phone I asked him WTF and he said he heard me say at a couple weeks earlier the numbers just stick with him that way I already knew he was a bright guy but that took it up a notch I'd ask him very politely to not ruin your life when you sit down in a meeting for work where you're trying to solve a big problem and someone can say that's the wrong question you need to be asking people who can do that generally understand the bigger picture and all of the various variables and factors in play and how everything fits together it's some next-level action to watch the entire room go wow we are looking at trees and that guy's looking at the forest my responses are limited you must ask the right question lazy people are the best at this I witnessed a kindergartener who couldn't draw straight lines keep his pencil still and drag the paper around to draw a triangle you'll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace a kid in second grade already knew algebra everyone knew he was smart for April Fool's Day that year our teacher decided to be cute and give us a pop quiz so she went to the 8th grade class and asked for an algebra test made copies and handed them out to us some of the kids were freaking out and the teacher assured us that we already went over this so she left the room and some of the kids started crying she came back in after a few minutes and said that it was just a joke but she graded the tests anyways the smart kid scored an 18 stroke 20 my stepfather used to teach me math that several years beyond what I was learning in second grade diamond information sponge and he fed me brain anything that I asked for one day my parents got a call from my teacher the teacher told them that I was teaching my classmates fourth fifth grade math in my spare time at school and to make me knock it off I never saw it myself because I was about two years old but when my older sister was around four years old she used to go grocery shopping with my mom she my sister would keep a running tally for all the items in my mom's cart as my mom took something off the shelf my sister would ask the price and then would add it to the total in her head if my mom put something back she would subtract it my sister was right every time when they got to check out she's a doctor now my sister also used to read the bedtime stories to my parents when she was around two years old goddamn genius meanwhile I'm the kid who ate play-doh my dad had a business trip in Seattle that I tagged along on so I could see a soccer match and explore the city he invited me to go to the Research Hospital within one day and I agreed they were working on testing some type of cardiovascular tool on a cadaver that they would stimulate blood flow into tests seeing my dad who didn't go to college barely graduated from high school lived on welfare with a single mom and who knocked up a teenage girl when he was a teenager himself performed surgery on a cadaver using a tool he invented that could potentially save thousands of lives blew my mind he had hundreds of patents on devices I got surgery three years ago and my shoulder surgeon used a tool he invented in the 90s he's an incredibly smart and hardworking man who got just the right amount of luck to get him where he is today I like it when you meet someone whose English is imperfect but you realize they are very intelligent and are able to explain their thoughts I remember once meeting a Japanese archeologist who wasn't the best English speaker but when he explained his research to me it was absolutely fascinating gota plug my dad in here had some friends over and just to mess around we asked him the definition of random words in the dictionary we opened it to the eyes and asked the definition 10-12 letter 3-4 syllable words not only did he nail all of them but most definitions were verbatim when we got to the 10th word he goes the verb or the noun and we lost our crap it was seriously ridiculous we were freshmen in high school and could hardly pronounce the words we picked turns out he read the whole dictionary over the summer when he was 16 and aboard guy is still the smartest person I've ever met I'm not even a dad but if I found out my son said this about to me I'd probably cry my older brother has really bad a DD and always did terrible in school I never realized how smart he was until a few years ago we were watching jeopardy together and he knew most of the answers to the most obscure crap I was blown away I swear it was like the scene from Groundhog Day when my dad just decided to add an addition to the house like he'd be out there 70 80 hours a week adding three extra floors to the house with running water up to the third floor he would rent excavators and large moving equipment and only like three or four times he would hire an extra hand that was amazing lot soft dad decide to do that but it sounds like yours actually completed it which is absolutely amazing wife is smart like six languages fluently smart without breaking a sweat it has never not done well in school always gets promoted et Cie etc but no one in my family saw this because she's an introvert and tries to keep herself dumb so people get her and like her my family and I are smart she's next level up salut after we got engaged family had get together as in cousins friends lots of people as usual we played some group games she was reluctant but I pulled her aside and asked her to try and fit in she obliged but was annoyed with me started with pictionary she schooled the room moved to a bunch of card games with a single deck counted cards knew everyone's decks etc quiz board game knew all the answers over and over again she was dominant to the point of silencing my family it was unnerving even for me a few weeks later when we visited her family we don't play games with soon-to-be mrs. B frog douche she plays to decimate the competition Oh found out my little brother aged 12 has a legit photographic memory he's a big lotr fan and knows an abnormal amount about the series whenever he answers questions about it he looks up and squints a bit I asked him about it and it turns out that he is actually reading from the book in his head he can even jump to random page numbers he also knows a ridiculous amount of world history I go to him when I need help with that sadly he is adopted and we don't share the same games I'd like to be friends with your little brother I'd take him to parties with me just for the lot of trivia so I don't have to pull out the complete guide to middle-earth just kidding I don't get invited to parties put hardly any time into studying and do better on an exam than me after I spend days studying for those of you who are like this and didn't develop any study habits I was in the same boat I didn't have to study all through high school but once I got to college it bit me in the butt here's probably my favorite study tactic that got me out of that rut you ever had a test where professors will let you bring 180 X 11 sheet or even a nautical with anything you want to put on it formulas etc well I found that even if I didn't study anything else just taking the time to fill one of these out was very useful realistically you will use about 5-10 percent of what's on the sheet during the test but filling it out will make you navigate through your notes and/or class material and make you really think about what's important to be there due to the limited space while doing this you are subconsciously learning the material so even if it's an open book or closed notes test it is always useful to do something like this or at least it was for me I was a kid but I wish I wasn't by the time I got to university I had no idea how to properly study and my grades took a huge hit and never really recovered growing up your dad is always that nut at least mine was always thought of him as a joker who liked to invent stuff around the house long story short when I was around 12 he made a basic hydrogen engine but he was on track to making it practical for his van and was so stoked claiming he would get up to 4 - 5 more miles to the gallon he was able to make a small hydrogen cell and a housing for it and set it in his van it was so complicated I can't even explain it properly he got 3-4 more miles to the gallon so his prediction was pretty close he was then stuck on how to get more out of it make it cheaper and you know maybe pitch his idea to get it on the markets one day he was googling new ideas and came across a Norse uni that basically did the same thing before him idk the details that had crushed him he stopped working on it kinda stopped making stuff a few years ago I was home visiting and was walking through his workshop and found the cell tucked away old dusty it dawned on me than that I will never come close to being as smart and intuitive as my father I told him before I left - my old man cried I cried it was great one of my best friends from high school was like a real-life Good Will Hunting story we came from a small blue-collar town his parents were relatively poor he was pretty much unheard of and unpopular but not nerdy or geeky more so hung out with the druggies and rock band types until he got to high school he started becoming fascinated with math and physics he would spend hours at the library just reading books upon books on the topics apparently he scored perfect or close to it on his AP exams and calculus and physics as a sophomore in high school our physics teacher at the school immediately took him under his wing and before his sophomore year was over he was teaching college math classes he went on to get his doctorate from an Ivy League school and of course as a professor now but he is definitely the smartest person I know we used to sit at coffee shops in high school and he would just start doodling long complex math problems on his napkin it was way beyond anything I could understand and I had taken all the same AP type classes he did holy crap I've always wondered how people just get good at that stuff it's like they have a giant vault only for that kid I knew in high school bet his friends who were in the class that he could get a 5 top score on the AP chemistry test even though he didn't take the class he did someone who doesn't engage with overdramatic argumentative people how's the saying go an idiot will bring you down to their level and win smart people just avoid it and know how and when to keep their mouth closed lawyer arguing in front of the Supreme Court he cites something in a law book stating it can be found on page 84 and one of the justices motions to a clerk to get the book the Justice receives the book and tells the lawyer that no such thing as found on page 84 the lawyer responds perhaps your honors addition is incorrectly paginate it it was my dad's friend Mitch I've only met him a few times but when I saw him a few months ago at my parents anniversary party he remembered my birthday I thought it was just weird until he pointed around the room and told me everyone else's birthday too it was surreal my younger brother unfortunately has severe ADHD and other mental disorders he was kicked out of a couple of schools and has extreme social anxiety he gets really annoying and argumentative padang I have seen that boy observed something for a few minutes be it a sport a dance move an equation something tech related an instrument and execute to near perfection after maybe three tries he sat down with my girlfriend to study algebra while he was in school and understood the whole chapter in few minutes he just needed someone to motivate him use their native language in fun and original ways like making conversations very colorful fun adjectives nice metaphors etc firefighters of Riddick what's the dumbest person you had to save in a stupid situation dumb boss tried to cross a raging river in zero degree weather about a 300-foot span on a snowmobile he lived but didn't make the cross and the machine was recovered days later in Maine you are required to get your snowmobile out if you sink it in a lake they don't want those things leaking and polluting so every year you hear about some guy having to hire a diver and such I once had a firefighter tell me he almost died in a house fire while going back into the house to look for the owner a neighbor was concerned about why the firefighter was still in the residence so he asked another firefighter this is about how the exchange went neighbor why is that fireman still in the house firefighter he's looking for the owner of the home neighbor he is right over there with the video camera turns out the owner did not think it was important to alert the fire department he was out of the house instead he was just taking video of the whole event the fire started because the owner had tried to smother his barbecue cook aflame with leftover wood from the siding that had been installed on his home the owner did not realize it would burn burned his whole house down holy Frick people are stupid I'm not a firefighter but I used to do a lot of Disaster Response work Hurricane Floyd Eastern NC I had a farmer with a large family that refused to evacuate his house stubborn bastard River had broke loose floodwaters were coming up fast and the police had given up on changing his mind I drove my truck right up into his yard rolled down the window and asked him to dress his kids in something orange or bright yellow he asked me why and I said so body recovery will be able to distinguish them from all the dead pigs floating around he told me to freak off but five minutes later he had the whole family in the vehicle and they got the heck out the local news station was just reminiscing on how much Floyd had freaked up Eastern Carolina Atlanta's guys didn't end up as statistics we needed to close the main connection through a forest over the winter because the trees were falling faster on the road than we could remove them due to weight a much snow falling also the redirection was more than an hour longer due to the snow some cars thought that they would come through but turned around as soon as they saw the trees on the road one semi also thought he'd get through he drove up to the trees and called the a brigade and complained why we didn't remove the trees as he was calling a bunch of trees behind him also fell locking him in it stood the one month before the trees in the snow could get removed by us at at least the semi can back out we needed another month until the road was free again former firefighter/emt easily the dumbest person I encountered was a mother of four who decided it would be an awesome idea to get a Facebook Instagram worthy picture of her kids all under age 10 sitting in a rowboat mother untied it from the dock and thought she'd just pulled him back with the rope that she forgot to hold on to they floated a half mile down the river before the two oldest boys managed to grab a branch hanging over the bank it was really surreal to see four young kids all in matching clothing sitting in a boat waiting to be rescued I have no clue what happened after her build they were physically fine just scared a little tired that the mom was in full-blown panic mode and kept getting in our way I hope she's making better choices now years ago we had this call straight out of Caddyshack some guy had gotten tired of this gopher ruining his yard little did he know though he was facing the Sun teased at you of Gophers the homeowner dwelling upon his experience from Vietnam decided that the best way to deal with the Gopher was to treat the situation like a VC Tunnel in lieu of a frag grenade he poured a 5-gallon can of gasoline down the gopher hole waited with a varmint gun and lit it off the ensuing explosion caused a small crater to form in his yard I am still thoroughly impressed that there was a proper fuel-to-air ratio in the network of tunnels that allowed for such an explosion to happen however the Gopher refused to surrender without a fight the Gopher ran out of the hole engulfed in flames causing the guys yard to catch on fire the Gopher sprinted into the guy's shed still on fire and burrowed in to avoid space in the wall where he died like the martyr perk from modern warfare his still flaming remained set the inside of the wall on fire as well as several flammables in the end the guy's backyard was ruined and about a quarter of his shed burned down taking out a bunch of power tools and a zero-turn mower he definitely would have saved a you thousand dollars if he had hired an exterminator this reminds me of my dad he hated fire ants always had gasoline around to clean the grease you know well he would get bit by an ant and the fight was on gasoline fetched and poured onto the mound promptly lipped and the ensuing commentary delivered deepen I'll show them ants fire I'm not a firefighter but my brother's wife at the time was there was this massive structure fire at a barn in town that drew out nearly every truck in the general area like three towns worth of firefighters trying to get this thing under control during all of this there was some lady who continuously called 9-1-1 asking over and over again what's going on at the farm up the road according to her this woman would have to be a complete [ __ ] to not realize what was going on as the fire could be seen for miles fast forward later into the night and one of the ambulances on scene suddenly leaves obviously not normal for this sort of situation but there isn't much time to question it fast forward still and as things are finally starting to calm down in Dyer under control one of the volunteers on the original ambulance comes over in his own car and shuffles sheepishly over to her and the chief of their department he tells them that there is a woman a little ways down the road who called the ambulance hence why they left and requires a lift assist but absolutely refuses to Letty EMTs do it no no it has to be a firefighter my brother's wife seeing that the other departments have things under control goes with the man to see what's up apparently it was the same woman who had called 9-1-1 over and over again and when they arrive she is laying on the floor absolutely wailing EMT say they can't find anything wrong from what they've been able to do but with her requested firefighter they are finally able to get this woman up they start asking her what happened hoping she might be more willing to share with my brother's wife there and she says I was just feeling a little ignored I figured this would get your attention grown woman just laid herself on the floor called for help insisted on a firefighter when there was no need all because the barn fire was getting way more attention than she was in the nine one operators wouldn't give her the gossip about what was going on I know she got in major trouble for abusing 9-1-1 bits from what I hear from the people on both fire and ambulance she has made a habit of calling for help whenever she feels she's not getting enough attention she sounds like the type of woman who would fake a seizure in public actually no she sounds like the type of woman who would fake a seizure in public because someone else was in the process of actually seizing and she was jealous of the attention too I can recall one specific the specific one was a young girl around teenage years who decided those toddler swings with the seats who stick their legs through like a little basket so they can't fall out it was made for a teenage girl she got stuck and lost blood flow to her legs we had to cut her down and get her to a hospital to have it safely removed due to it basically becoming a toner k on both her legs the other is general but it's people who didn't wear a seat belt in the people they killed as a result you have less control of a vehicle when you are not being held in place so those wrecks are more common as the first sign of trouble your butt moves in the seat and reduces your ability to control the vehicle you also become a projectile if you're lucky you only kill yourself if you are not you wind up bouncing around and killing a passenger also the leading cause of partial ejections and re-entry to vehicles since nothing was holding them to the seats so many times I could have just been there cutting someone out off a seat and then being barely beat up but instead they had been scalped and died or hit their kid or spouse or other family member or friend and killed them one in particular I remember was a large man not wearing a seat belt in an overturned truck he woke up while we were working on him cutting the passenger-side up to get down to him as a vehicle was on its side driver-side down he kept asking us how his son was at first we didn't get it then we realized he was laying on his 15 - 16 year old son and due to the man's size we didn't see him the son was wearing a seat belt but he died because his father smashed into him and smothered him to death while we worked rather than just wear a seat belt extender so his seat belt fit also don't lighted us about if you wore it your seat belt won't the pretension as if they are not engaged in the slot they are designed that way there is a circuit that is completed by the best being clipped in place which is also how your car knows your passengers are wearing a seatbelt or not and sets off that obnoxious alarm there is also a sensor in the passenger front seat of most modern vehicles to detect the weight of a small person which is why your sodas or pizzas in whatever set off the alarm just wear the dang seatbelt and don't lie if you were wearing a tie won't be able to pull sons of slack on it when I arrived guess what goes into the report is the determining factor your insurance ceases till if you should have your medical covered as a result of an accident yup I don't know what they do were they information but I have to write it in the report source state vehicle rescue technician and firefighter mostly volunteer at this point there was a horrifying but effective seatbelt advert when I was a kid ninth is England that basically went today Joe killed his mum then sat back down with the kid sitting in the back and belted and smashing into the driver's seat he turned me into one of those kids who would nag everyone about their seat belts but I've been in a couple of crashes since and walked away it wasn't really his fault but we had an old guy in a nursing home get his balls stuck in a shower chair a motorist had a bad alternator and the car died while she he was driving the electric lock control stopped working we were dispatched for a person trapped in a motor vehicle on arrival the advice was given to manually lift the lock knob you can easily tell the ones who will not survive the first 24 hours of the zombie apocalypse firefighter/paramedic and suburb of PHX had to transport a guide to the because he was constipated his wife tried to dig it out with a wooden spoon spoon got stuck and hurt to move it walked in and there's a 250 pound man butt-naked lying on his side with a huge wooden spoon stuck halfway up his butt that is not why he had a spoon up his butt me and my dad are both firefighters and he said one time they went to a house because an elderly man could not get out of the leather recliner because he had been sitting in it for a week straight and his wife would just of him drinks food and the guy never got up he would just get drunk and urinate defecate himself until he was physically stuck to the chair and they had to cut him out to bikini clad girls had to be rescued from a swift moving river in a canoe neither girl brought a life vest or a paddle something-something crap Creek had a drunk guy in an article chaser penguin penguin stuck his beak through the offending drunk guy's calf he got sent home and a report on international treaty breach wound up on some Congress members desk Oh McMurdo how I miss thee while penile gins are powerful dude picked up a metal ring from a hardware store in lieu of paying for an actual dong ring it got stuck he went to the hospital the hospital called the fire department because a dremel tool turned out to be the right tool for the job you guys sure Dremel near the bait and tackle a lot I use mine for small wood projects just ask this question of a firefighter friend he saved the guy who was siphoning gas out of someone's car by sucking gas towards his mouth to start the siphon the would-be thief was also smoking while doing it burns happened had a fella who was running from the police he decided to climb on board a chunk of ice that was flowing down the river I am sure he thought he was a genius at the time but the issue is that there isn't really a whole lot north of our town for a few hundred miles so his long-term planning wasn't great eventually we found him hiding in a small icy overhang on the side of the river suffering from hypothermia after a brief stay in hospital he ended up being arrested I was a volunteer firefighter many years back one summer after a long period of no rain two good old boys decide to have a few dozen beers and take their Jeep into a nearby field to go off-roading well - featuring tall corn stalks that are bone dry wind up getting jammed up into the undercarriage which on a 90 plus degree day turns out to be hot enough to ignite a fire the owner of the field sees the situation unfolding from their house and calls for fire and police given the proximity to my location I go directly to the scene to hearing the page go out and see these two buttholes trying to drive the Jeep faster and faster to put the fire out eventually the engine gives out but they won't leave the car I physically had to reach in burning my arms in the process since I didn't respond to the station first to get my turnout gear and pulled them out somehow they decided that remaining in the car would slow down the flames and because they thought it was a good idea to continue driving a burning vehicle around at dry field we now have a significant brush fire and after call mutual aid from another county to help douse the fire state police get involved I have a nice trip to the hospital and buttholes lose their Jeep and the remainder of their boos former Fire and Rescue firefighter here have helped release several dogs and children stuck in the mechanism part of a recliner chair also a bird stuck in a tree go figure I remember her asking a firefighter about this once and he said a guy who was freaking a woman her husband came home so he jumped out the second-story window buck naked and impaled himself through the upper leg on a fence paling it was one of those fleur-de-lys ones so it flicked up his leg pretty badly they had to cut the paling up of the fence and load him into an ambulance I honestly thought this story would end with someone getting their dangler stuck in something but that's worse that's much worse obligatory not a fireman but they were most definitely involved I used to work in a Knick public grammar school over the summers to pay for college back in the 90s one of the full-time employees was a nice guy but stupid and I don't mean he was slow or anything he just did dumb crap because he was careless one time he loaded up a trailer with like 25 gallons of gas and was driving it back through the main school parking lot he didn't realize that container cracked open and spilled all 25 gallons in the parking lot he didn't want to get in trouble so he thought the best way to get rid of the evidence was to set the gas on fire he didn't realize that burning gas gives off a lot of black smoke and a gigantic cloud of black smoke coming from a school generally attracts a lot of attention from first responders panicking he tries to put the flaming Lake of gas out by driving over i.t with his car with a fire department gets there screaming at him to stop driving his car through flaming gasoline they finally get the fire out and just screamed at this guy for like 25 minutes it was the funniest thing I've ever seen I was the dumb call my cat got her paw stuck under the dishwasher and was screaming bloody murder I couldn't move her poor and I couldn't lift the machine so I sat with her while my husband called the fire department she chewed right through one of my favorite blankets in her stress firefighters arrived not in full suits but heavy boots and pants soon as they came around the corner to the kitchen our cat miraculously was able to free her poor and take off to hide in the bathroom the guys seemed confused but at least it was easy we thanked then profusely for being scary enough to free our cat who had zero physical damage not even a broken claw I guess she'd hooked her claws on something and didn't want to let it go for love or money not me but dad was a firefighter in Nick and once responded to a call at a Chinese food restaurant where the owners walkway was iced over he apparently didn't speak very good English and maybe misunderstood the job of a fireman genuinely don't know they sorted down his front walkway for him and explained that this was 100% not their job they all had a good laugh and the guy gave them all free egg rolls ppl always used to ask him questions about crazy calls and he never enjoyed talking about that so he would always tell that story what happened in 1999 still makes me laugh to this day 20 years later ETA if you plan on commenting something along the lines of 20 years ago 0mg I'm old screw you for reminding me I assure you roughly forty other people have already beaten you to the punch I get it 99 doesn't feel that long ago let's all move on low it's interesting that that's what so many people took away from this story heard this story from a friend emergency call comes in foreign miscellaneous electrical hazard chief walks in and a woman tells him that the TV in the bedroom is making a weird noise it's turned off but there's a low buzzing sound coming from the area chief unplugs the TV which she didn't think to do and the noise doesn't stop the TV is sitting on top of a chest of drawers so he opens up the top drawer and finds this woman's cell are buzzing away super awkward obligatory not a firefighter but recently in San Diego a group of suburban moms decided to take their infants up the local hiking spot called cows Mountain it's not a particularly grueling hike as many children and elderly people can do it however there is a heat stroke warning posted at the trailhead not to mention it can get pretty hot here in this last week was no exception with temperatures exceeding 90 degrees while these idiots took their infants up in this heat the trail is pretty exposed and due to its easy accessibility and Instagram worthiness lots of inexperienced hikers flocked to it many times with little to no water because they underestimated how hot and difficult it could be needless to say the fire department Em's and chopper were all cold as these moms had taken their babies up and were too tired and exhausted to come down they had to go up and give water check their conditions and some even carried the babies down I know fires are a lot hotter but I bet they were cursing out these moms in their heads as they had to hike up the mountain in pretty much full gear the moms came strolling down laughing and flipping off the cameras as they were angry people were going to see their stupidity this happened all because they wanted to take a group photo with their infants on a mountain on a hot day I was on a backpacking trip through some national parks a couple years ago and we were repeatedly shocked by how little water most people were carrying but like you're in the middle of the freaking desert and we'd see people with no pack just holding a 20 ounce bottle of water meanwhile I've got 3l in my pack and an extra 750 milliliters bottle just in case fire department and the paramedics had to come to my work one day because some kid didn't know the difference between a swimming pool and a splash pad there's this artificial waterfall that goes down into a basin that's only about two inches deep where there's fountains and stuff for kids to play in this kid decided to climb up the waterfall there are multiple signs posted not to do this and decided to dive off into the water below that again there's only two inches deep luckily the kid landed flat on his face so he survived and avoided being paralyzed but he was knocked out cold immediately and would have probably drowned but luckily his mother heard the splat and came running over screaming and pulled him out and for my next trick I shall dive from the roof onto this damp sponge not a firefighter this happened to my son when he was six he was at a Cub Scout meeting which was next door to the fire station the firefighters had these racks where they'd lay their hoses out to dry I think the little Scouts were climbing on those racks one day and my son's chubby leg slipped between the bars and got stuck the firefighters had to come use the jaws of life from their own dang racks to free my kid what is the stupidest thing you have seen an otherwise smart person do I once knew a guy who actually only ever made very smart decisions he even used dashlane just like you should - Lane can be your one-stop shop for your digital identity by managing all of your passwords so you don't have to keep track of all of them they also keep your personal info and financial secure making your digital life safe - Lane works across all platforms including all Apple products PCs Android Safari and chrome - Lane also has a secure autofill feature that works for personal information and credit cards saving you time when shopping online a VPN to prevent prying eyes from tracking what you're doing and so so much more my favorite feature that dashlane offers is complex password generation it's always hard for me to make and remember complex passwords but - Lane makes it so easy to be secure go-to - Lane calm updo to get - Lane for free on your first device though I'm suddenly wanting to go to - Lane come up doot and use promo code updo to get 10% off - lane premium mine was the stupidest thing I have done it was pretty embarrassing I was leaving my flat and I was talking to a girl in my uni course as I got to the door to exit the building I noticed someone outside and was going to let them come inside before I left after about 6 or 7 seconds of me just standing there the girl asked me what was up and I told her that the person outside must have been having trouble getting inside she then pointed out that it was my reflection look at the bright side it was probably equally embarrassing for the other guy once I got a call from one of my college professors one of the smartest and friendliest person I know prof. can you pick me up at this address thirty miles from his place without public transport me sure how did you end up there prof I went to sell my car to this guy lmao this is my favorite I can totally see how this happened my boss and I were chatting on the phone about some random work issue he told me to call so and so for some reason I told him I needed the number he said hold on I gotta look up the number on my phone shuffle sounds crap where's my phone dang swerve alert my phone must have fallen out of my pocket sonofa well gonna have to call you back once I find it I cracked up until he jokingly yelled don't you tell anyone about this only heard about it but it's fantastic I joined Mensa for the card when I went to Kinko's to laminate it I didn't read the instructions on the wall and the laminate melted to the Machine I had to get the Kinkos guide to open the machine for me but by then the card was bubbling when he scraped it out and saw what it was he laughed he laughed so hard thought there was 60 cents in a dollar took him a solid couple minutes to figure out that there wasn't after we just sat there laughing at him , thought there was 60 seconds in $1.00 took him a solid couple dollars to figure out that there wasn't my wife the smartest person I know looked in the sky at about 3 p.m. and asked me why the Sun was so dim she was looking at the moon please tell me you leaned over and in a Scottish accent said no donkey that's the moon was at law school with a smart guy we shared a house he wouldn't heat anything up in the microwave if it hadn't been bought as a microwavable product he was convinced that it would get pumped with radiation and he'd be eating radioactive food if I was the Don I probably would have done it to become the Hulk my grandfather is a chemical engineer that used to work for Dow handling stopped-up off some of their biggest plants he went on to be an expert in industrial cleanup operations he's a practical genius he also decided it was perfectly acceptable to put stuffing into a plastic bowl and slide it into a 400 degree oven I once put a pizza in the oven on the wooden plate I was going to use to serve it after so I'm not going to judge him we still ate the pizza but I definitely had a strange taste I once tried opening a finger Pillsbury biscuits with a can opener a few years ago my mother took my picture with it to use it against me in the future I had a college professor insist that afternoon started at 11:00 a.m. because that's when he had lunch I have no idea how you could get that wrong afternoon starts after noon it's in the dange word fun thing about college faculty they are generally very very knowledgeable about one thing only and actually pretty stupid about a lot of other things that's what you get for spending ten years devoted to the study of something usually somewhat obscure to the point where you are probably the world authority on it one time my friends and I were walking around downtown and we were passing through a parking lot one of my friends noticed this and asked is this a car dealership no this is a parking lot so naturally he responded with but why are there cars here took a few minutes of explaining for him to remember that cars do tend to be in parking lots this one is so bad at reading it got me stupid my boyfriend we did those 90-second microwavable rice packets and I smelled something burning I asked how long did you put the rice in for he said three minutes I told him it was only supposed to be 90 seconds and he looked at me like I was stupid and told me again that's 90 seconds then a few seconds later he turned bright red still make fun of him for it if you makes him feel better I did something similar I put one in and forgot to make a tear in the top for event at about 75 seconds in I hear a pop that sucked a clean up oh boy I finally have a story for this one one of my mom's best friends growing up has a brother who was absolutely brilliant this is a guy who graduated top of his class got a perfect score on the set and went to and graduated from Harvard some time into his adult life he decided to go to the grocery store a few blocks away ordinarily he walks but he decided to drive this one particular time he went to the store got his stuff and proceeded to walk home the next morning he went to get into his car only to discover that it was missing from his driveway so he filed a police report a few days went by and he had to go to the grocery store again he walked like he normally does and found his car exactly where he left it a few days before this is a Harvard Graduate I did this first time driving to school alone I rode the bus home my doctor resident at top university hospital wife constantly misuses the words door and window interchangeably it's a riot please close the door where are you going the door oh crap I meant the window this is practically daily weirdest most confusing issue anyone could ever have like confusing floor and ceiling or cat and rabbit a girl I knew in high school needed a piece of paper so she turned on the computer and printed one out she probably felt smart as heck doing it too working at IT support woman with a PhD in virology calls up her keys keeps ticking do the standard troubleshooting but couldn't fix it so I went to her desk what was the cause of the key sticking well Miss PhD was eating a whole pineapple over her keyboard about five years ago I got one of those motion-activated air fresheners and put it on my dresser it wasn't until I got up the next morning that I discovered it was lined up directly at eye level where I got out of bed I effectively booby-trapped my room against myself very confident I see my sister-in-law is a molecular biologist her level of genius is astounding she put herself through school via scholarships but made pocket money working at Ponderosa one day she was changing the oil in the fryer set the old hot grease tub on the floor and proceeded to step in it she literally cooked her foot it took several skin grafts but mostly looks normal now so whenever someone does something stupid in our family we say they cook their foot Oh cringe that is a seriously big deal professors with all kinds of degrees who've written renowned books papers can't figure out how to make a video play on the projector instead of the monitor my father told me a story about his father my grandfather was a brilliant chemical engineer working for Procter and Gamble he actually led the team that figured out how to make liquid tide one day he came home scooped himself some ice cream put chocolate chips on top and put it in the microwave he was surprised that the ice cream melted rather than the chocolate I stuck my hand in a pot of boiling water my brain just stopped working for that second apparently I took a frying pan out of the oven without a mitt we should start our own cooking show friend is standing in line at Target and has a 9-volt battery and a penny in his pocket the two make contact and naturally the penny gets hot people's the 9-volt out of his pocket and looks at it as if he has never seen this object before he sticks his tongue on it shocks himself pulls it away looks at it does it again pulls away looks at it and does it a third time the cashier just stared at him like someone let a monkey out of the zoo a lot of smart people I know are just terrible with money I know people with 4.0 GPA and high paying jobs that are borderline bankrupt because they spend every dollar they have trying to keep up with the high rollers who run their company like these are smart people but incredibly insecure as well and that's just a terrible combination I made peanut butter cookies last night and I forgot to put in all of the dry ingredients so you made peanut butter soup my best friend has a genius-level IQ he was in the top ten of my graduating class and has nearly a 4.0 GPA studying Chemical Engineering I once saw him look right down the barrel of a loaded shotgun I did this with a champagne bottle I was trying to open the cork popped bounced off my forehead and then ricocheted off the ceiling I had a round welt on my forehead for a day or two I am NOT a genius my old lady of seven years just finished up her master's in accounting she roasted a chicken yesterday and as the timer rang I yelled to her remember to use a hot pad to take the lid off the roaster pan because like the pan the lid handle is hot I get a sarcastic no duh back from her i watch from a mirror with a good angle of her as she takes the pan out with two hot pads on the side handles of the pan she then sets the pan on the stovetop puts the hob pads back in the dryer then grabs the handle on the lid of the pan she burned her hand again dropped the lid to the floor loudly and then ran to the living room to see if I was laughing I was dumbest smart person I know I love her I was going to bake cookies for my 20th year high school reunion but I encountered a problem I explained this problem to my fiancee me I was going to make cookies for my reunion but it ended up I couldn't Tim why me well your mom gave me that box of cookie cutters that has over 100 cookie cutters and I was going to make cookies in the nine and five shape for the class of 1995 but he didn't come with the number it has 1 through 8 but number 9 at this point he just stared at me because he thought I had come to a realization on my own which I didn't me what him you just have to turn the number-6 upside down and it's a 9 me blank look him the number 6 upside down is the number 9 you did realize that didn't you he cracked up when he figured out that I never realized this I have a PhD that's okay my mom is a programmer for Boeing and she complained that her hated blanket was still too hot turns out that the number 7 looks like an L upside down and she thought it was on low well she married me but I forgive her I have a relative cousin of my aunt what's that who has a doctorate in engineer and made a ton of money in petroleum engineering yet over the years has sent a large fraction of its and Nigerian scammers even more interestingly he started doing this before the internet when they just sent snail mail letters to people and has sent it to the same Nigerian family over the decades his way to support Africa I guess but then this man also doesn't believe we landed on the moon or that the Holocaust happened so there's that a girl I went to high school with went to the same university as me she was top five in our graduating class and hasn't gotten lower than a 3.8 in two years of college including biochemistry and organic chemistry one summer day we were out at a bonfire and she had a hood on because and I quote don't moon Rays make you paler my grandfather has a PhD in computer science one of the early ones he was on the team that developed the fingerprint computer that ended the days of using a magnifying glass to match prints the original computer now lives at the Smithsonian it was snowing out and he said he was grilling steaks I thought he was on the outside porch I looked outside and he was not there I found him in the basement using a huge gas grill it took me several minutes to explain to him why this was not a good idea my friend turned 20 one day and we were talking about his birthday I proceeded to comment wow you've been a teenager for 20 years yeah my friends don't let me live that one down told my sister who was turning 25 that she was halfway to 30 spend an incredible amount of time and effort nervously trying to figure out why an almost new and very expensive oscilloscope wouldn't turn on reason someone had toggled the switch on one of the built-in power strips on the lab bench turn off I did this two years ago the scale of the amplitude was set in a way that prevented us from seeing any output took us about a week to figure it out we were getting ready for dinner one night and we're kind of in a rush to get it done whatever ever we were miking it required bread well the only bread we had was frozen at the time so we had to quickly defrost it sir my mother randomly yelled for my eldest brother who happens to be the smartest out of all of us to go get it from the freezer and bring it to the kitchen he delivered the frozen breads of the kitchen and our mom had her hands full so she told him take the bread tie off and put it in the microwave so he takes the tie off and puts it in the microwave and set it to defrost not even 30 seconds later he starts saying up mom the bread ties on fire turns out my brother thought to mint Breton not the frozen loaf of bread my friend Kevin went to Caltech works for JPL he's an actual rocket scientist literally one of the smartest people I can't think of when we were in our early 20s he had to take his brand-new Honda Civic back to the dealership after two weeks of ownership because he filled it with diesel afterwards I asked him isn't the diesel nozzle incompatible with standard gas tanks his response it's not it wasn't easy but I made it work my friend is a geneticist smart guy all around a few months ago he spent ten minutes trying to push open the door in his kitchen and eventually his hand went through it and he gashed his arm and ended up getting a bunch of stitches if he had pulled the door instead it would have opened I travel a lot for work and am going to London later this month one of my girlfriend's best friends is an eco nurse saving the lives of premature babies every day and has forgotten more about biology and Anatomy than I've ever known she asked what language they speak in London and if I was going to visit the Eiffel Tower if I got some free time this one is about me I'm a senior in engineering being paid to do some fancy research that we hope will easily eradicate third world diseases my dad has always managed my finances and never really taught me much I just got a credit card and had a $500 limit spent 492 dollars in a month and got confused when during the next calendar month after the statement my credit card was still being declined I thought the limit reset every month regardless of if you paid your balance it just made sense to me when I called my dad asking why my credit card hadn't reset yet he laughed at me for a solid hour and told all his business partners I laughed it off as being an engineer not a finance person like him but my lack of real-world experience with economics money is also sad I'm a living case of why we should have useful life skills classes in high school when I called my dad asking why my credit card hadn't reset yet he laughed at me for a solid hour and told all his business partners hahaha look how little I taught my son this girl I was kinda seeing at the time asked me if I wanted to watch a movie so we go up to her room she pops in elf and turns to me and asks wait can you watch this since you're Jewish she has a 4.0 GPA and is going to law school next year also when I eventually told her I was a virgin she asked me if I ever had a boner I was 19 not seen directly but heard the professor tell these two stories this man is an expert with nanomaterials and just an all-around physics champion and yet Story one the professor begins watching karate movies and becomes a fan soon he begins to wonder if he can reproduce some of the foots he has seen various martial artists perform on film I am a physicist he says I can do this so he gets a stack of a few cinder blocks and tries to break them with his fists he shattered almost every bone in that hand story to once his homes water heater stopped heating water I am a physicist he says I can do this after all he reasons the water heater is just a really big resistor submerged in a tank of water with some plumbing attached to it all why not repair it himself the basement cleanup cost him a few thousand dollars plus the cost of a new water heater and professional installation rid it what is a dumbest question a customer or client has ever asked you at your job working in the back of an ambulance on a patient with a serious need of nitroglycerin to lower their blood pressure sir before I give this medication to you I need to triple check that you have not taken any IDI drugs in the last 72 hours like vinegar or Silas rattles are full variations if you have taken it and I give you this nitroglycerin your blood pressure could drop dangerously low have you taken any of these meds oh no never are you certain oh yes of course I am runs through potential deadly side effects again no never okay hold this pill under your tongue does generic velcro count Gras why do you do this pharmacist here I feel your pain why I sent them an invoice sigh I work for an accounting firm we did a project for them wrapped it up and build it a few months later they came back with another project so we did the work and gave them the bill they somehow thought that the new project was covered under the previous invoice I get too many dumb questions to remember them all here's a dumb encounter that happened just yesterday sending confidential documentation we would encrypt it and put a password on it it's common practice to send the document and the password and two separate emails I got a message from this guy saying he couldn't open the document I sent him me did you use the password client yes it said there was an error me what password did you use client I just hit ok and it said that I had the wrong password me wait so did you type anything in client well number me could you use the password that we provided you client I didn't think it would work so I deleted the email me I tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas a group of 4 ladies sat on a table that is reserved for a group of regulars every day before I opened my mouth to let them know one says we see a reserved sign but we are unsure exactly how reserved it is long time ago now got a call that a user's laptop was dead and wouldn't power on I go and check it out press the button no life plug get into the power it starts charging press the button it boots just fine the user wasn't plugging the laptop into power because she thought we had wireless tried to diagnose someone's connection problem for 20 minutes before I overheard splashing and kids asked where they were and they were at a pool they thought the office Wi-Fi extended to anywhere on the planet apparently mildly relevant I used to work the counter in parts at Subaru and my manager was helping a customer a rare occurrence for him and he turned to me and asked me how many days do we have for a 45 day return selling paint woman wants to paint her fence I give her advice and explain to her how to prepare the surface she then asks do I need anything to apply the paint I'm like a roller or a brush she's like oh I can just splash the paint on the fence she was dead serious woman this is not Looney Toons this is the real world vet tech a lot of people think their dog's nipples are ticks a lot one man even pulled a booties are boiling us I used to work as a bank teller a lady came up to me and asked withdraw money I informed her that she couldn't withdraw money because her account was overdrawn she was immediately upset so I had her account checked for fraud she then explained that all those charges will hers and she wasn't expecting any payments she was spending money she knew she didn't have she then asked me why we couldn't just give her more money this is my grandmother she over draws hundreds a month and couldn't understand why they wouldn't give her a loan for my name not the question itself but the reason why I asked I was volunteering as cashier at a used bookstore for the library not my regular job but I do it often in comes this elder fella who buys a big stack of books for like ten bucks he was really nice and chatty though he didn't seem completely at where mentally not a big deal I just had to explain sales tax and the book pricing a couple times before he seemed to get it he pays by credit card and I explained to him how to sign the touchscreen for the payments to go through this is where he asks for my name I tell him he takes the iPad and says he really appreciated my service and happily tells me he's going to sign my name for the card so they will know to send the money to me before I can say no wait he submitted the signature I can't see his receipt but he keeps telling me I was great and to keep the change so I can't assume he was being legit I honestly wouldn't call it dumb just bizarre made me wonder if he's been signing cashier names the entire time he's had a credit card thank goodness the card companies never check those things thank goodness the card companies never check those things I remember reading this story about this guy maybe it was a rigid comment about this guy who consistently signed his receipts with a doodle or the doll the first time he decided to be a grown-up and signed his actual name the bank contacted him because they were concerned about possible fraud a co-worker at a video store asked does this calculator do math no unfortunately all it does is roll cigarettes when I asked for here or to go I got a confused look followed by what would you recommend definitely to go can we open the curtains to make the screen brighter while pointing at a projector and screen setup she seriously thought that more light in the room would make everything brighter as if the projection was some sort of moving painting I work a navy I can confirm I've gotten this also I get this doesn't look like it does on my computer of course projecting light looks different than in LED display especially when you rent the cheapest projector for the biggest screen size I worked at Kinkos and on three separate occasions different people and really ask me why I returned their fax documents to them they thought that a fax machine was some kind of Willy Wonka thing that sent their original piece of paper to the recipient a few years ago far more recent than it should be I had to send a documents to the local council they asked me to fax it I asked if I could just scan and email it and they said no because we need the original I used to work in a call center for a large bank and a customer phoned while he was in one of the branches and said the queue was too big so he wanted me to help him I asked what his query was and he said the ATM was broke so he had to withdraw cash I asked how I could possibly help him withdraw cash from the bank over the phone and he said why can't you just fax it to me so apparently a lot of people out there think fax machines are the Star Trek transporter see how much is this me 50 see like the sticker says see and this one me one dollar all the items have labels on them with how much they cost see oh is that waters mean that's clever not the slightest bit of sarcasm in their voice I press slightly and found they were genuinely unaware of price labels you met a time traveller renovating a major hospital when the owner changes their mind again and wants to change the plan after we've started construction you guys can take care of that right with no extra cost oh and the end date won't change will it we sure as Frick can't Steve and it sure is Frick well those changes are gonna cost another $100,000 and now we need to go by completely different materials and figure out what the frickin are talking about the schedule is Frick now this is why construction never ends on the first given in date while towing his car to a dealership so what do you do for a living he was serious he assumed I had another job because I didn't fit the billy-bob persona he associated with tow truck drivers I did this with a realtor that was showing me a few houses I'm a realtor that makes sense I just got lost in the small talk and had a brain fart library once I checked out several books to a woman and told her the return date she looks at her friend then back at me and said shocked you mean I have to bring the books back similar but opposite at a bookstore I worked at we changed our return policy from one month to 14 days and so many customers and really shouted that they can't possibly finish a book that fast we calmly told them that's the point we aren't the library when you buy book it's to keep I used to work in computer sales and repairs had a customer come up who was maybe 23 years old saying she couldn't get her laptop to open something so I take it and open it and casually ask what is it you can't get open she looks at me shocked as I open the laptop screen and tells I have been trying for hours to get IT to open how do you do that I look at her not knowing how to respond and close it and open it again she takes it and walks out saying thank you I took a long look at my computer I was working on and decided that this was the moment that made me quit that job if I work at an Italian restaurant and this guy was looking at ordering a salad and when I asked what dressing he wanted he kept going back to the pasta sources and asking Sugo that would be good on it wouldn't it I'll get that and I tried to explain sir the for the pastor's you got the Mediterranean salad and he responded you're right maybe carbonara another source I don't get what he wasn't understanding he seemed like a normal smart dude but he just couldn't comprehend the difference between the dressings and sources I work in father and someone called yelling at me to stop selling her son weed I think she took the definition drug company way too literally I worked at a Mongolian restaurant that served white rice a guest honestly did not know what rice was when I offered him some I had to explain it as those little white things after 10 seconds of me trying to figure out if he was just messing with me he looked at me still confused and I just said never mind someone once asked me why are you guys making it so difficult to find a car parking spot this time of year it was Christmas time and I was a casual working in a tiny store in a huge shopping center I didn't even know what to say because we hate you library Clark here do you have a phone book for celebrity phone numbers no sir no we don't I worked at Old Navy and an elderly lady walked in and asked where the boats were she had never been inside an old Navy and assumed it was some sort of boating store not a question but someone once effectively told me they were allergic to air I used to work in an opticians where we'd carry out pressure tests a few puffs on air onto the surface of you I wear quite literally the machine just blows your eye with yup air the customer was adamant she was allergic to it couldn't have it done and in fact accused me of no knowing what I was talking about I see you met my grandma this one was just two hours ago one of my users came today with an iPad when I asked what the problem was she said that when she holds the power button and home button down for 10 seconds it just shuts off and takes a minute to restart that was her whole problem that if she holds the power button it turns off she called it the freaking power button I used to work at a fine jewelry kiosk in a mall our jewelry included items like gold bracelets and necklaces bonded with sterling silver sterling silver rings with cubic zirconia gems gold engagement rings with diamond chips clustered together rather than one large diamond etc I had a lot of regulars and this one woman would come in often and asked of every item she was interested in is this real I explained what bonded means and how we don't sell diamond rings for twenty-five dollars but that the rings were indeed certified sterling silver with synthetic gems I gave her information like this over and over again day after day and she would follow up every explanation with okay but is it real it's a real ring yes I used to work at a grocery store deli my coworker for some reason got more stupid questions than anyone else we'd swap stories every shift but one went a little like this hi what can I get you the eight piece chicken how many pieces are in it how how many pieces are in the eight piece chicken um there are eight pieces and the eight piece chicken okay I'll have that please to be fair the lady was awfully polite but how many pieces are in the eight piece chicken is still a stupid question can I have chicken medium rare no no you cannot I once had the exact same thing happened girl can I have the steak medium-rare please guy I would like the chicken medium-rare as well please me I can't do that sir that's salmonella then she had to explain why you can't eat chicken medium-rare whenever I answer the phone I have to say good morning afternoon and there now Hotel name so many people interrupt me halfway through this to ask if they called the correct hotel some even after I just said that I work in a bank actually not even a bank it's an advice center so no cash or anything like that not that anyone reads the signs on the way in had a pair of women come in and one says that the other is visiting from France and needs to check how much is in her account and can I tell her I asked if she's a customer on this Bank thinking maybe she's a student learning English and has set up an account because that's quite common but she wanted me to tell her the balance in her French bank account how do people go around having no idea what's going on work at a zoo and one year they did a big TV advert to highlight night zoo since we are open until 9:00 p.m. during summer at around noon a woman asked me where was the night zoo I said here but in six hours working as a flight attendant London to Miami and business class mum with one toddler and one five-year-old boards immediately spots me and asks where is the crash I'd like to clarify my airline does not and has never offer child care on board she was adamant we shouldn't continue to palm her children off on the crew for the rest of the flight luckily the kids were fairly quiet the creche is beside the swimming pool I won't get into my job that I am routinely asked what 80% or 85% of 100,000 pounds --is I work at an independent pet store we sell mostly dog supplies but there's a small section of cat toys catnip et Cie near pretty Jim a key item we brought in as a line of cat Nick that is packaged to look like medical weed there are the prescription bottles and pre-rolled joints now the people know these are catnip products if I've had multiple people ask after puzzling over the pack of raw paper rolled catnip joints but how does the cat smoke at all how can they even hold the lighter they've got paws I never did quite know how to reply besides muddled laughter if I work in a poker room at the front counter Jim can we get a table me sure what would you like to play him know for dinner me looking around we don't serve food here this is a poker room him grumbles and walks away I worked at Wendy's through high school and part of college one day a man in his 50s wearing a bright magenta suit walked in and ordered a burger I asked him do you want a combo or just the sandwich and he asked what is a combo I explained to him that it was a sandwich with fries and a drink but somehow he didn't understand he looks at me blankly and asked how I want fries and a drink but what is the combo we went back and forth on this for like five minutes I don't even remember if he ever got what a combo was or if he ended up getting it I do remember however that I saw him two weeks later in a different City at my other job training political canvasses he was wearing the same magenta suit I was in such shock that I just stared at him saying nothing thinking it's the combo guy do you guys sell ice here no sir sorry about that alrighty ah got anything like ice comma ylim what got any euhh real cold water had a customer asked for a 100% led crystal decanter I had just explained to him what 20% lead crystal meant no you can't get 100% led cos it wouldn't be crystal and also it'll kill you worked at a small fine-dining steakhouse in high school the restaurant closed at 10:00 p.m. and one day a table decided to take their sweet time with everything so it was now 12:30 a.m. and I still had homework to finish in school the next day one brick at the table asks man I bet you really wants us to get out of here don't you yaar no crap but I couldn't tell him I did told him well while I have school in a six hours providing good service means treating every customer as if they're your first one of the night shot myself in the foot ride there they didn't leave until almost 2:00 a.m. and I was late to school the next day I'm surprised your manager let that slide people don't believe that I'm a sushi delivery guy because I'm white in high school a while back I worked at a Tim Hortons and we were advertising that we had just put in free Wi-Fi old guy at the drive-thru asked for a free we fee we asked him again and he repeated himself it wasn't for a few seconds we realized he didn't know what Wi-Fi was in thought it was some sort of free promotional item maybe not necessarily dumb on his part but it was really funny and turned into an inside joke at the store my dad was a park ranger r.i.p pops he had many hilarious stories the best was when he was just starting out at the Grand Canyon he had learned the finer points of customer service nor the depth of people's stupidity yet a visitor made a comment on a Ranger led to of the rim that the Grand Canyon must have made a tremendous noise when it pops open dad said yet imagine the noise it'll make when it slams shut the visitor was not amused worked at Best Buy in the two dumbest ones of these dude where are your heavy-duty TVs at me is it going in a business thinking Lee means it'll be on at all times like at a bar dude no it's going in my living room me what are you planning to use this for dude for watching what else me sorry I'm just confused why it needs to be heavy-duty then dude well I dunno you tell me you all are the ones advertising these HD TVs second one dude these are LED TVs me yet dude they run on electricity me as opposed to dude I dunno me yes sir they still need electricity you have been visited by the wisdom papa type study well popper or you will fail your next text of school if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check out another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot

Views: 192,056

Rating: 4.7808461 out of 5

Keywords: smartest, dumbest, smart, dumb, smartest person, dumbest person, dumbest questions, dumbe people, smart people, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: 7JWG3c7dvUc

Length: 79min 5sec (4745 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 02 2020