The Smartest Vs The Dumbest Moments of r/AskReddit

gifted students what was it like growing up as the smart kid has it affected your adult life in any way it was pretty cool for a while but then everyone caught up to me in high school and now I'm just a little above average intelligence I entered a culture where everyone teachers parents relatives et Cie valued me for my smarts and so I use that as my yardstick to value other people for a long time nowadays I'm more interested in who shows compassion loyalty dedication generosity humor et Cie had to work really hard to break the filters holy crap dude everything on this thread is crazy familiar now that I'm out of school I realize how much of my self-worth I wrongly placed in my grades GPA I feel this it's not something you notice until you suddenly realize you don't have an external benchmark however misplaced to tell you that you're doing okay skipped a grade which I probably could have used to become more emotionally mature cried a lot in math class I'm still gifted with a terrible work ethic bean bear bonus points if your parents always noted that in the congratulations of course we knew you could do it you're smart glided through high school and college to a job currently almost zero work ethic to speak of and it eats me up inside that I have to exert a ridiculous amount of self-control to make myself do anything more than the bare minimum I skipped a grade so no one saw me as the smart kids but instead as the diminutive thirteen-year-old 9th grader in precalculus you learn to keep your mouth shut it wasn't that great yup I always hated I was youngest in class almost always till master's degree everyone in my program was the smart kid some people have trouble adjusting to an environment in which they are now thoroughly average most definitely going from the top 3% or so of my 40k college to grad school is worse rough definitely have learned that academia is not the place for me however it's terrible for one you develop terrible work ethic because you never had to study when you were younger then comes precalc and you have no clue what you're doing wrong and how to bring your grade up when people start doing better than you and you become more average you start becoming a bit disconnected with who you are as a person for all your life you've identified as the smart one now you have no idea one thing I missed going from an excellent student in high school to an average one in college was the attention I'd get from teachers is the smart one I'd always feel they were generally looking out for me more of course it didn't help that college class sizes were gigantic but that anonymous feeling got to me a bit embarrassing to admit hard I skipped four years in school it took me years to come to terms with the fact that I'm allowed to do what makes me happy not what people expect because you have so much potential when I applied to music school my mother's friends openly criticized her for letting me do it because they couldn't understand why I wasn't moving into a brainy career path like medicine or law still get a lot of family members asking why I'm not doing this job that they think I'd be perfect for I'm a nurse and family friend that have known me a while asked all the time why I didn't become a doctor it's the most annoying thing ever I am happy with my choice and prefer the day-to-day aspects of Nursing much more yet it made me lazy I used to be the smart kid now I'm the nose a couple of things guy it was boring until I discovered drugs and sex since I was a Singh all my classes anyway then I had a kid at 17 gifted kids don't necessarily have a lot of common sense not in my case anyway but you get your crap together like everybody else eventually anyway I was the typical overachiever until University when I had a mental breakdown and developed depression and an anxiety disorder turns out being intelligent doesn't help so much when the family history of mental illness hits you an early adulthood not going to lie you grow up feeling kind of entitled to good test scores grades and when that doesn't actually happen you start Rea evaluating your life then when you take classes with other gifted kids and see that you're part of the average section of that group you reconsider every academic achievement you've received haha I'm still a top student in my grade still too lazy to do my homework not as much as others though but I stopped getting upset when my test scores didn't surpass those of my friends yup I was always a top student through high school and undergrad at a small liberal arts school without too much effort and then I went to grad school at an Ivy League medical school where everyone was a top student from their respective pasts it was a rude awakening to be average we are still learning about subject and predicate and freaking high school and making posters too when you factor in the two years of core curriculum in college it felt like my life was in repeats for the first twenty years now I am so tuned out I'll never get back the frequency and make something of myself yes in math and English it was so repetitive from grade 612 drove me crazy I didn't have the experience that many of the people here have I went through gifted from elementary till high school it was freaking great I basically realized that rules only apply to those who want to obey them I used to leave classes no questions asked no first hour class no problem after high school I got two degrees in math and physics not two majors two degrees I went on to get a PhD from a top three school in physics a lot of my success has come from understanding when to blow off meaningless bureaucracy which the gifted program definitely gave me early on in high school I discovered I could ghost with no effort went to college because it was expected of me didn't know what to study and found out I didn't know how to study faced obstacles basically I went in with this idea of I'm smart and when I got in trouble academically I still clung to that and made a huge mistake I started telling myself I wasn't really trying you see if you don't actually try you don't fail so I thought I was thinking like well of course I'm smart if I really tried I would succeed but I didn't really try it didn't help that I was going through some major depression at the time and was rather socially isolated anyway two semester and some bad grades I dropped out I built the whole thing up as a bougie minh in my mind and fears I avoided going back finally I did and in a lot of ways I felt deprogrammed I was no longer a smart outcast now I was a guy in his mid-twenties attending classes with kids straight out of high school pretty humbling but the whole thing was good for me I can honestly say I was glad not to have the same pressure on me or the same expectation to excel going back was a great decision although I do find myself wishing I've done it earlier mostly the consequence of the whole thing has been that I'm always feeling like I'm playing catch-up in my life like here's where I was supposed to be in my late 20s and his where I actually am it hasn't work ethic matters way more than what score you got on an IQ test I wish more people understood this I have seen lots of brilliant people fail out of college or not even try the people who persevere who can delay gratification they are the ones who succeed this is why the world is run by C students it was really bizarre in my case because not only was i considered immensely intelligent throughout school but I also had a didi kicked me in the nuts when I was around 10 or 11 the first five years of school I was really into everything because everything was a totally new concept and I just really enjoyed exploring these new things and excelled at it all I recall a time in fifth grade when my mom who was currently taking a college math course was having trouble understanding the advanced algebra textbook and I picked up the book and was able to understand all the material rather quickly shortly after fifth grade passed all the new material for all the following years was just like okay so this is how you make the math you learned last year a little more complicated and this totally disinterested me because I really had already learned most of that material before it even came up since I was disinterested I ad D tendencies decided it was better to draw pictures and screw around both in class in at home rarely ever completing assignments it was almost as if it was mentally impossible to focus I had years where I would get a breakdown of my grade and in the assignment column it had say something like 16% but then the quiz and test columns would have 98% not that it's a good thing but it's still one of my favorite stories is when I was taking AP calculus and I had gained a reputation for myself as being the goof off and never doing anything at all the final test at the end of the class was worth 65% of the total grade and when it came up to the time to do the test I currently had 5% in that class the teacher sat me down at a few points and even recommended I dropped the class to take something easier but I refused when the test came I scored 114 percent it was grades on a curve and I was a major out layer so guess who passed with a C it besides all those stories the hard thing about the real world is just that life doesn't work to where you can do nothing and then aced the test you have to do every single little step along the way as menial and useless as those steps may seem the real world will always take the guy that averages a C on everything and maybe squeaks out to be on the test over the guy that says freak the stupid crap and still gets 100% on the final test metaphorically speaking lack of discipline bad work ethic started becoming more and more lazy and even falling behind everyone else even now studying at the University I fail pretty much all of my exams the first time I take them cause I never actually learned how to study in the first place lonely because few share your interests lonely because displaying showing off an intellectual gift brings as much resentment as it does praise brains are particularly susceptible to resentment because and like say soccer or dancing no one says hey you're great at that thinking just is not my thing LOL everyone fancies themself to be intelligent even though everyone can't be lonely because most people would rather not be corrected no matter how interesting you personally find the actual accurate information this might not be clear to you for the first few decades actually did you know that carrots don't substantially aid eyesight oh and actually the Pennsylvania Dutch are German Dutch is an American corruption of Deutsch and hey where you're going lonely because stories puzzles canvas that move slow enough to engage most people are interminable to you and those that move fast enough for you are unintelligible for everyone else lonely because what makes you different can't be seen so others who like you might walk right by and not seek you out there's no uniform like a sports Jersey our punk rock hair to indicate that you're in the 1% lonely because logic is your favorite tool but it is rarely used and often misapplied relationships religion politics social situations it is often offensive to apply logic to them but you're a logic guy lonely because the world is not made for you so a little lonely very poetic the inflated ego helps a lot with confidence I would say that's not true at least not for everyone you can be smart and yet think you're average or a bit dumb like you're always achieving impressive feats in university and stuff but still thinking that it was mainly chance that drove you there that's what happened to me anyway I have insight for this thread but too lazy to type it up good summary I am NOT exceptionally gifted just an average guy who gets straight B's in school but I went to a middle school where a disproportionate amount of the kids were practically developmentally delayed because of poor parenting practices the teachers knew this and they were used to handling these kids there is this Japanese saying the stake that sticks up will be handed down and as a cognitively ordinary kid I was frequently the youngest in my classes because I was the only one who had never been held back at some point I ended up frequently taking on my teachers and calling them out on their crap like trying to tell me the word aftershave wasn't a real word and trying to ban me from reading Harry Potter it resulted in a relatively combative middle school experience I recall one incident in seventh grade where I was made to sing along to Humpty Dumpty along with a group of first graders at one point the teacher stood up and asked everyone ok who thinks this sing-along is supposed to be childish three guys myself included stood up we were the only ones to do that in a group of 25 she kicked us out of class and made us clean the yard I don't regret that crap one bit but as a teenager I think it caused me to be somewhat more combative toward authority figures than I should have been I think it was because of this that I ended up being rather shy as an adult I am perfectly secure in mind to lecture and analytical prowess but consciously awkward when it comes to social interactions I have always felt an immense pressure from my family parents and my parents close friends who are like my aunts and uncles to work hard and not squander the gift I was born with I will be receiving my PhD in biomedical science and translational medicine next Friday my current work focuses on identifying a novel protein complex that is involved in triglyceride metabolism hopefully I lived up to their expectations and can leave something behind in this world to benefit mankind or a pharmaceutical company hires me and pays me a boatload of money I often found myself in the 90 plus percentile on reading comprehension and math took all gifted classes in middle school graduated high school early as kid I always wished I was much smarter I wanted to be a genius instead I have mediocre smarts I still do this as an adult but now I also realize how little other people think at times most of the time it was hard intellectually I was worried ahead of my peer group but emotionally and socially I wasn't when I was moved forward a grade I ended up being the youngest kid in my classes all of them so when my classmates were all getting their drivers licenses I wasn't when they were all allowed to see the naughty movies I wasn't their parents set curfews that were usually later than mine because I was younger and puberty well puberty was a very difficult time I got into a lot of trouble too even though I was a full academic year ahead I was still not very intellectually stimulated so I started trying to find ways to keep myself amused these ended up not being very well thought of by authority figures and then there were all the problems I had with bad habits when you don't have to work out anything intellectually you're completely unprepared for those things that do require work like essays partner projects etc so you end up missing out on a lot of study skills which all have a direct corollary to adult skills as an adult it has all basically led to a sense of unfulfillment I don't think of myself as lazy like some of the other commenters here but I certainly lack the organizational skills that a less intelligent person was forced to develop because previously I just kept it all in my head now of course there are far too many things going on and they last so much longer that it's virtually impossible to keep everything in my head but I lack the discipline and skill necessary for say a schedule book intelligence is not wisdom and it is not common sense and it is not discernment it is however unfortunately very highly regarded as a standalone product when as a standalone products it does not really add value in other words while I am able to learn things extremely quickly I don't always know what things I should learn and while I may be able to quickly and easily see logical faults I don't always have the social skill to deftly bring them to light in essence I think my life would have been much much simpler and easier if I weren't so smart I got into my states gifted high school program which unlike most of its kind included all four core subjects instead of just math and science it was amazing college-level chemistry calculus literature and geography interdisciplinary coordination of all four subjects for example we studied logic in math class while covering rhetoric and language and holding debates in a US government course video conferences with topic experts simulcast all participating schools a half-dozen field trips each year the opportunity to participate on a FIRST Robotics team which was just a magical experience to the same five teachers for all four years who became our mentors over time at the same twenty classmates who became my best friends we even did an annual culminating projects that required us to do original research to answer a question no one ever had before we worked on this project throughout the school year and it counted as the final exam grade in all courses these experiences broadened my perspective brought me out of a thick shell and got me hooked on exploring the universe I can't thank those teachers enough I am incredibly fortunate to have experienced all of this for free in a public school system right here in the US it truly was a model for how secondary education should work and I owe much of my understanding of the world to that school district I was the smart kid up until high school never studied everything was easy advanced reading blah blah blah now I am a C+ B student and have no freaking clue how to study my nephew actually had serious academic issues because of house Martius hear me out up until high school he didn't have to study whatsoever and he could do all of his homework on the bus when he started HS he had no idea how to study and sitting down to actually concentrate on homework was difficult for him too it probably didn't help that his narcissistic butthole mother declared that he was a child prodigy a little too soon goddang do I hate my sister-in-law if he has to study in high school he can't be that smart clearly he knew how to do homework since he previously did it on the bus well I almost always felt like a fraud when people would mention I was gift because I didn't feel gifted I thought everyone was like me my junior year of college when I actually gave my all to her class and still got a B+ freak you accounting where I finally understood that things don't come easily to people sometimes and they really just can't comprehend a subject as an adult I don't know if it's affected me much I probably have an ego that's too big but I feel like interpersonal skills and work ethic are gonna get my further in life than natural smarts college students what is the dumbest thing you've heard a fellow students say when I first moved into a house off-campus I shared the top floor with a surprisingly slow-witted guy he was quiet and had an overnight job so I really only saw him when we were all drinking or hosting a party over Christmas and old friend was hard up for cash so I bought his childhood nezam game collection probably overpaying since half my purpose was to help this guy out it was a hit on our tiny TV most afternoons a few people would be gathered around for some Tecmo Bowl or RC pro-am over spring break when I had the place to myself I beat the original Metroid good times then near the end of the semester just before dawn in the haze after a huge party some stranger's walk in and start hauling off our TV stereo etc my upstairs flama confronts them and one of these Shaylee intruders says we're with the electronics repair service we'll have these back to you right away this guy proceeds to hold the door and help them with our old VCR most of the house had theater majors so studying particular performances was legitimate homework and then minors they even got the cartridges but when they started hauling out CDs he finally became suspicious the specific dumbest thing regarding strangers who show up 5 a.m. and start hauling off the most valuable items from our front room was they told me they were the electronics repair crew so I helped them get everything out to their van we had someone else living in that room the following year I mean these people wouldn't scam people like that if no one fell for it once in a while I was assigned a two-person group project and a partner she tells me straight up I'm too busy for this you can do it tell her that's not how it works she'll have to do her share she doesn't care or respond to any further email on it so I do all the work hand it in with a cover letter explaining she did nothing I get 90% she gets 0% in front of the whole class she says gangly butt is a piece of crap and gave me zero one of this assignment it's not fair and he's a freaking gut hole professor oh well he informed me you didn't do any of the work on the project was this not the case girl that's not how IT works a group project means we all get the same mark no matter how much work you do IT means one person gets a break from the assignment professor nope that's not how that works I love people who fight really hard when they are clearly in the wrong it's just an amazing sight like a bald eagle doing trig on an abacus beautiful when they abort the baby does it die but you can't tell Deon alcohol you just digest it both over heard from different people during an upper-division medical ethics class in an ethics class a girl decked out in a horrible clash of designer name brands on every article of clothing and personal position raised her hand and said the difference between rich people and poor people is that rich people know how to say thank you we were discussing the differences between wealthy and poverty level treatment in a courtroom also in a final exam for a Criminal Procedure class there was a typo I forget what it said but it was supposed to say mortal as in mortal wound everyone pretty much made out what it was supposed to say through the context of the sentence except this one girl she went up to ask the teacher what the misspelled word meant and he announced to the class a correct spelling she stood there and asked him what Moodle meant he just looked at her and said in the dead silence of a final exam you're forty a criminal justice major in a Criminal Procedure class I am NOT going to explain to you what a mortal wound is I thought Ben Franklin invented lightning this was said during a class on Western civilization what a dong who knows how many lives lost a brushfire Z's responsible for during an mba marketing class we had group projects where we basically had a set of data given to us to come up with a marketing plan one group took the customer data and proudly average all of the customers zip codes to get the geographical center of their customer base later in the professor's office they argued when the prof. told them it didn't work that way the team leader said well that's just your opinion and stomped out actually a week ago we had just gotten out of our final exam for the year and this girl is making her way to the door but before she even reaches it she says to her friend yeah I had to copy a few parts of my book to reach the word count you ever hear a record scratch in real life and that 90s meme following it that pretty much happened the teacher called the girl up to the front and silently without a word began to go into the paper logs and saw that Turnitin had a 75% plagiarism rate it was well for her it probably sucked but but for the rest of us Golden City of how do you Frick up this bad I had a friend asked me if the IRS was going to come after him since he did not pay his internet bill for three months tell him yes it was in a match class when a teacher was trying to get a girl to understand that one stroke three is larger than one stroke four but she wasn't having any of it according to her one stroke four was larger because there are four one stroke force to make a hole and only three one stroke threes to make one two so there are more one stroke fours more is larger therefore one stroke four is larger even when the teacher tore a piece of paper in three and another and wrote one stroke three and one stroke four on the corresponding papers true everything away but one one stroke three and one one stroke four and asked her which is larger she still went for the one stroke four teacher sat down didn't say anything for a minute and then continued class that was the first time I'd ever witnessed someone giving up on a person like that I seem to remember a and W advertised one stroke three pound burgers in comparison to the I think McDonald's one stroke four pound burgers for the same price but due to people thinking a one stroke three was smaller no one bought them professor here student was upset that I didn't send him an email reminding him homework was due I apologized and asked if there was anything else I could do for him maybe his laundry grocery shopping etc he stormed out of the classroom other students laughed my favorite has got to be when a student read World War two as World War 11 and Kim jang-soo commonly known as the father of Kim Jong you know two girls business majors very stereotype why around 2010 we should start a website where anyone can sign up and simply pay a fee to charge their laptops over the Internet oh yeah that's a good idea no mention of peripherals so I can only assume the website hacks into the router you're connected to turns it into a Tesla coil and arcs a surge of electricity from the device to your laptop battery one girl asked if she went $300 over her credit limit if she would have to pay it back no it's free money first week of college I watched this kid cut in line get confronted by his peers his response was as far as I'm concerned I'm more attractive than you know there's two different types of turkeys one for white meat one for dark civil rights movement was so focused avoiding jive turkeys that actual turkeys got left behind I went to a college that accepts a lot of foreign students from Japan and China I couldn't keep track of how many times I heard our you from Asia no they're Japanese the poor student would normally respond with Japan China but this one guy just stared blankly at them the one student turned to his friend I don't think he speaks English the Asian student in clear English said I'm from Toronto you fricking idiot it was great one time in class a girl was doing a presentation where she described a man from Uganda as african-american and didn't understand why that wasn't right one time I used the term black when talking about Simone from Kenya and my sister-in-law corrected me that I should say african-american the best part is that we live in Europe and the person I was talking moved here about three years ago from Kenya and he has never even visited the u.s. man you have such a big computer that thing's got a take-up 6we fees he isn't Asian he's from Japan in a literature class girl so all those Greek gods and goddesses what happened to them a professor confused you mean in the story girl no like what happened to them professor I I'm not sure I understand what you're asking girl like why are they not around anymore did they all die the whole class was just a stunned silence they live above the Empire State Building done student do rocks have DNA proof no rocks are not living student then how do they reproduce how is there not only just one rock this was a 300 level genetics class maybe you can tell him to sit in on a geology class we were playing some drinking game someone correctly answers a question with Afghanistan this girl laughs out loud and goes Afghanistan isn't a country we all turned at once and laughed at her how many pages do I need to write for the five page paper a roommate was leaving early in the morning with his girlfriend where you are going my girlfriend and I are going to watch the sunrise over the ocean , chuckle okay have fun so for clarification this is the West Coast we are talking about the guy comes back later P you knew it wasn't going to rise over the ocean didn't you maybe he pauses well which days does it rise over the ocean , trying not to laugh try tomorrow in my boyfriend's speech communication class a guy got up to give his speech it was obvious he didn't have one prepared he started with all right ladies raise your hand if you are single so the reason you ladies a single is you need to lower your standards he then called a super athletic good-looking class mates to the front and said you keep going for these guys when you should be going for and proceeds to call the super obese guy in the class to the front I can't make this crap up similar thing happened in my communication class they were pee easier to pass speeches like people were passing with minute long gaps between saying anything in the three minutes long speeches only one person failed by bringing up how gay marriage should be illegal because it causes people to make love to animals if she didn't understand why the lecturer was trying to cut it short I don't know why I thought this was so funny but a kid on my floor needed to borrow a screwdriver to undo his window and couldn't get it to unscrew while saying to himself lefty tighty righty loosey in Germany we say so lands das Deutsche Reich best it word die scrub nach retched said rot which means as long as the German Reich exists the screw will be turned to the right it's politically not correct but easier to remember a friend of mine was taking a part to printer in the IT lab and another friend turned to see him opening it up and yelled don't drink the ink completely seriously because that's how dumb he thought the first friend was that he would immediately drink printer ink if given a chance this week in Kevin goes to college the topic of fellatio came up while the professor stepped out after a good 12 minutes of talking about technique preferences past experiences a male student finally says I'll never see em in a girl's mouth though I wouldn't want to get her pregnant he was absolutely serious while my then-girlfriend was at uni she lived with an alcoholic to try and stop him from drinking they got him hooked on smoking in an effort to change his addiction her words to me were he had an alcohol problem so we got him smoking now he is an alcoholic that smokes let me get pregnant so I can cure our lovemaking problems I once had to tell another student a grown but adult that Canada does indeed stretch from sea to sea and we don't live in the freaking Hills this is at a regular but Community College in California she said she thought it was an East Coast thing Canada she thought that frickin Canada was only a thing on the east coast of the North American continent a friend of mine moved into a new place at the start of his second year and through a big house party to celebrate it was great it was wild fun was hard while nothing got broken his living room got messed up quite a bit pillows all over the place chair tipped over I think someone made a fort out of pizza boxes anyway I go round this dude's house about five months later and the living room is largely in the same state I last saw it in at that party in fact so was lots of the house it had barely been cleaned build was on a ton of their dishes and there was a mushroom growing out of the wall in the bathroom I asked him why the heck hadn't they tidied any of it up and he said we figured we'd have another party again soon so why bother cleaning up six of my guy friends rented a place together during school their place was so filthy that when I was over I would walk across the street to use a bathroom a gas station bathroom teacher name a country beginning with E classmate euthanasia for reference I live in England professor was demonstrating the need for quality checks asked several students to measure a piece of paper that was normal printer paper sized one kid was supposed to measure in inches another was supposed to measure in centimeters kid who measured in centimeters said the paper was 108 centimeters long now this is regular paper one foot long on its longest day this fellow did not even think twice before saying it was over a meter long nobody even picked up on this until it was remesh it for a quality check mind-blowing that turned out to be a great demonstration for why we need quality control I love breast cancer because it makes everything pink this one is the the absolute dumbest I've read so far the other day I heard a girl giving a speech over nicotine addiction this was supposed to be informative and have credible sources I kid you not I do not believe that cigarettes are addictive I tried them once I am NOT addicted I had to try very hard to not start laughing a credible source was a requirement for this assignment but professor I am a credible source me what's your major guy it was aerospace engineering me whoa that's cool but what do you mean was guy I'm on academic probation with the university because my GPA is too low so I'm switching majors me okay I'm sorry to hear that what are you switching to guy Religious Studies I can get a job as a pastor me all right so you are big into church guy no I rarely go but I can worry about that later oh my god this is the perfect example of what happens when you tell teenagers that everybody needs to go to college had a class about crime and physical assault lecturer was going over a study that stated that on average men were physically stronger than women girl raised her hand and said that chauvinistic citing that women bodybuilders and crap exist we had done three years of stats by that point how she did not know the difference between averages outliers or distributions was beyond me lecturer looked dumbfounded Canada passed a law that changed the status of some of the legalities around prostitution and a girl in my class asked the professor before class now that prostitution is legal should I put it on my resume the collective facepalm was heard around campus a girl in my English class wrote that legalizing gay marriage will create 800 million new jobs in the United States at a for calculus if a UC did a few examples of u-substitution before the professor taught it in class several students were amazed and asked dude did you invent u-substitution if fish don't have lungs how do they breathe I'm a second year biology student they find their bubbles before the scary music gets too intense before class started a few of us were talking about various states we had been to one mentioned Alaska being attached to Canada this prompted a girl to chime in at Alaska is an island she apparently thought that Alaska and Hawaii were located at the southwest corner of the US like they are portrayed in the maps that just show the 50 states we shouldn't have to vaccinate men for HPV because it doesn't hurt them I actually had this argument with a peer and a professor they still didn't understand it in the end we are all scientists if you cheat on your girl once a month for a year you're still 97 percent faithful math checks out one at least four students in my class listed Jesus's sin as a tenet of Eastern Orthodoxy and their papers they Plaga rise each other - everybody knows that black caucuses are bigger than white caucuses that was an entertaining u.s. gov class that second one is something special it should have been noted until they put it in an essay then you could frame it on your wall for all your friends to gather around and laugh at not necessarily something they said but my friend was in an online course and they had to write a simple paragraph about themselves as a first assignment someone got caught plagiarizing what's the best thing you've accidentally trained a pet to do like a behavior that is specifically from interaction with you and couldn't just be a quirk or learned themselves we used to have rats that were allowed to run around on the sofa when we were watching TV they were not allowed on the nearby shelves full of hardcover books we accidentally taught them the word bookcase which they thought was a verb meaning turn around and scuttled back the way you came right now mine also learned their names and the word rat rat oMG tat means Emmy I never make any effort to teach them they just pick up on what words you use when you pet and feed them ours know the kissy noise since we usually give them treats and make the kissy noise they'll come a few kiss when my old cat was a kitten he would get in your face when you were eating and try to steal stuff off your plate Fork mouth squirt bottle came into play and after a few days he realized if he stood by the Xbox we would not squirt him and he could plan an attack I had three brothers growing up who loved to torment my Manor [ __ ] I made the rule they couldn't touch him on my bed they would chase him through the house and he would make a huge flying leap onto my bed one bedroom for four kids and then whip around and just glared AGA's at them knowing he was safe I swear it only took him a week to figure it out I've accidentally trained my mother-in-law's Terrier to sit on my shoulder like a parrot he lets me walk around like that I think he enjoys being carried in the change of perspective I first read that as you trained your mill to sit on your shoulder like a parrot lol my dog Blu is a hunting dog but is also a huge cow hound and loves cuddling she sleeps with me a lot but if she gets in bed before me she takes up the entire bed I usually make her sit let me get in bed and get comfy and then she can come up the other night I was in bed earlier than usual because I wasn't feeling well and all the sudden had a horrible feeling I was being watched creeped out I was looking around for my phone when I heard this weird groaning noise I immediately grabbed my phone and shined my flashlight towards the noise only to see just blues eyes peeking at me over the edge of my bed I accidentally trained her to wait until I gave her the oak to come up with me I have no idea how long she was there and I was cracking up when I realized what was happening I've been booping my tiny tabby since she was a kitten she sits beside me on the arm of the sofa whenever I watch TV as this usually results in treats one day to my joyful surprise she gently boop my nose with her hand this overwhelming display of cuteness naturally earned her a treat so now I'm plagued by Boop's on the regular one of my cats does this too it's pretty adorable unless she does it when I'm sleeping when I put my dog's harness on him he jumps up with his front feet he started this because I lift his front two feet up to make him step into it he only does it for me not for my girlfriend my dog does that too it's actually really helpful though the noise of the Xbox turning off when the dog has a boo-boo big noise he goes freaking up a [ __ ] thinking he's getting taken on a walk to be fair he usually is well I have two cats and two dogs one of the cats will turn off my Xbox occasionally if she wants attention when I put on lipstick the dog goes in his crate I can do all sorts of things in the bathroom but that last step of lipstick and he knows it's time to get going definitely read when I put lipstick on the dog my wife and I lived in a condo and whenever one of us went upstairs we announced it like I'm going upstairs then go so one day my wife is trying to snack on something and our dog was bothering her and she got fed up and scolding Lee said go upstairs up the stairs he went where he sat and stared at her as if nobody ever feeds him and one little bite would mean the world I need a picture of sad dog alright this may be a bit hard to describe but I'll do my best growing up my family had a dog named jock along with some other dogs that came and went the back door of our house led into our kitchen and we had a wooden dog door in the back door sometimes when the dogs were outside for whatever reason and my mother was cooking jock would put his snout right up to the crack in the dog door and inhale as deeply as possible trying to get whiffs of food that my mom found this so annoying she would open the door to shut him up I guess this happened enough times that he learned to do this loud slow inhalation routine whenever he wanted to be let inside but then he also extended his method to every door in the house whenever he wanted a door open he would stick his nose right up to the crack under the door and inhale deeply repeatedly he did this for at least five years until the day he died and it worked because the sound of something sucking air through your door for several minutes was incredibly annoying I love this one hilarious I had a buddy who was impossible to train but he chirped twice after anyone in the house sneezed it was his form of bless you there's a lot of crosswalks around my neighborhood and I always stop at them and look both ways some reckless arse drivers in my neighborhood too my dog has adopted this technique too she'll sit and either look down the street or at me at every crosswalk until I go to walk a little bit of preface I hate pants I'm more of a skirt or dress type of person my energetic sheepherder husky mix knows if I have pants on it means I'm taking her for a hike now whenever I'm seen in pants she freaks out jumping up and down and running to the front door in the winter I have a specific set of ultra warm pants that I wear when walking my dog but they're my dog walk in pants and when they come out hoo-boy my dog loses it I get really excited when my boxer Laila bends herself like a kidney bean when I get home she's really excited I'm really excited so when I squeal deal your bean Laila adjusts perpetuates itself ooh I love Laila after watching me retrieve the incoming mail from the letter slot over time our cat a big mail Maine [ __ ] delivers it to me as I noted some time ago he grabs each letter in his teeth and brings it to where I'm sitting bigger pieces get batted with his strong paws if there's a piece too heavy he sits at my feet looking back to the letter slot and MRO w's loudly till I go fetch our half Maine [ __ ] would just put the mail in her dang water she does play fetch though before I walk my dog I usually use a bathroom my dog takes that as a signal to prance around the house excitedly because walkies every time I use the bathroom and don't follow through with getting his harness he looks disappointed in me when I say house he times my dog gets in his crate it wasn't intentional but now it's his cue mine does the same for time to go to bed two of my cats like to hiss and spit and battle each other a lot it's annoying and we feel bad for the older one so whenever we hear them yelling we look to the dog and say go check it out and she runs to break up the cat fight my two cats like to battle each other the older one didn't make a sound the first four years we heard her she has learned since we got the younger one that when she yells we have come check on her pet her and separate the younger cat from her she now house all the time when close to little bro even when she is the aggressor or they're not even touching five unintentionally trained my cat who asked to come into my room he's not allowed and because I'm technically allergic I used to put a fan pointing across the door to my room and he hates fans he would yell at me and I'd either say no or move the fan to let him in I've since moved the fan and he still asks to come in unless I'm not there and then he just wanders in this accidentally also taught him what no means and he tries to argue occasionally I'm not sure how she learned it with one of my cats talks back when she hears her name get down or no my dog farts when he wants attention every time he would fart my gf and I would laugh and tell him he is a good boy now he'll come up to me sit wag his tail and let a few toots out not sure if it says short fur or just his Anatomy but they're almost always audible you can't just tell us this and not provide a video to go along with it I taught our old dog to run by saying super puppy away my mom also accidentally taught the same dog walk pretty instead of heel that one was fun to same public my cat doesn't mind the rain and sometimes would come in soaking wet so I'd towel him off he loves being towel Dauphin now insists that I rub him with a towel anytime it rains he just didn't make the connection that he has to be wet for towel rubs ha another commenter said that they furred their cat so he would let them dry him after being in the rain so he'd go out in the rain on purpose to get extra food when my childhood cat would bite us all my parents my mum would put her outside as punishment when she felt like going outside she'd come and bite us Oh No I taught my cats not to bite by yelling ow when they were kittens I'm fostering some kittens now and doing the same thing but when I yell out one of my grown-up cats comes over to make sure I am okay when my dog was a puppy he followed my husband everywhere including the bathroom which had a big walk-in shower after a couple weeks when my husband would go to the bathroom the dog would follow him and pee in the shower eventually going him there whenever he had to go wasn't really mad because at least it wasn't on the carpet puppy also taught himself how use the ice maker to get fresh ice too he's way too smart for his own good my lab jumped up on the water ice dispenser when she was a puppy just hit it with her foot that shot of water between the eyes has prevented this from ever happening again I'm just glad she didn't hit the ice pedal instead because she loves ice cubes I'm delighted that the cats know they're being bad when I say excuse me it started with excuse me what's going on here nice I have one that back talks when I yell her name sometimes even when she isn't doing anything I can shout her name just to get a reaction I managed to teach my cat to kiss people on accident I've only had her for about two months now she gets ready to do it before you leave or as you are entering into the house because she watched my boyfriend and I kiss when we would leave the house or come home from work and I guess she felt left out I just tap on my chest for her to leap up and pucker my lips so she will put her mouth on my nose into a small leg I am chronically ill and have an autoimmune disease that causes my blood pressure to crash while upright and pass out frequently certain exercises are important to stop from passing out frequently so I hike daily with my dog after passing out a bunch on hikes and at home my dog somehow has learned to warn me by standing close to my hand and staring at me on our hikes when my blood pressure is getting low and my heart rate is increasing to tell me to sit lay down before I pass out it's become super helpful one of my cats paused at the door of the DRI because she wants to be brushed put her up there a couple of times as a kitten so I didn't have to bend to brush her and now she meows and runs into that room to tap the dryer door it opens downward so she can jump on the door and up to the top by herself or brush time there's a string of bells hanging off the back door handle one of the other cats rings the bell when he wants out I figured his logic is door opens bell rings therefore ring Bell door opens I accidentally trained my dog to eat spiders I have a deathly fear of spiders and anytime I see one I usually scream and yell spider the scream would always get my dog's attention and she'd come running then she'd see the spider and eat it now any time you just say the word spider she starts looking around for one and will eat it if she finds it my rabbit PO will only exit his cage when given the go-ahead a nod and as soon as he does he Ben keys twice then sits in my lap every single time aaww so polite my pop hears the bleeping sound of the Xbox one turning off and he runs directly for bed he knows the system being shut off means it's bedtime every time I make finger guns at my cat she flips over like I shot her but I have no idea where she picked it up from lol what's the stupidest thing a teacher ever did at school in eighth grade a girl was known for her long hair and which apparently was never cut in her life well my math teacher at the time took some scissors and snipped some of it off for fun and didn't think it was a big deal yet she got fired this happened to me in the third grade my headband broke and I was pushing my hair from my face she jumps up with scissors and cuts my hair parents went to the school I was pulled from her class week later she does it to another student her father went ballistic on her and the principal teacher was fired this was nineteen eighties in Colorado still makes me cry when I think about it I had a teacher cut their finger off with a paper guillotine while demonstrating how to safely use it in their defense it worked wonders as everyone was so traumatized by what could happen that no one messed around with the guillotines ever I was sitting here thinking about how a guillotine made of paper could do anything to someone's hand I really am an idiot when I was in third grade my teacher wrote 1-2 equals on the chalkboard I said minus one she told me the correct answer is that it dosent work out I am still mad about this 16 years later first grade teacher no number can be less than zero classmate that what about the numbers on the thermometer teacher those numbers are different when my friend kindergarten student really really needed to go to the toilet and they said no a few minutes later he asked again saying he really needed to go number then he a few mins later he just went himself and go scolded I've always told my kids to go if you have to even if the teacher tells you no through a textbook at a kid who made a joke about her mother killed her career at least it wasn't the kid had an affair with a 17-year old pupil then left her job husband and three children to go and live with him in a different City I had a teacher who made us do this assignment where we would come up with an opinion on anything and then he would argue the opposite viewpoint after the first three people it became apparent he just wanted to stroke his own ego a man in his early 60s arguing yelling with 13 year olds he was really putting people down - one of my friends was 20th of 30 to be called on she said I don't think the Holocaust should have happened he lost his frickin mind he sent her to the office and the assignment was over for the day read a chapter from the and silence she was a legend class trip my gr8 teacher is known as a weird person during a camp trip with the class we were separated into boys girls for obvious reasons with our own bathrooms and shower area during one night while the girls were showering my teacher who was a 50-plus year old man decided it would be a funny joke to take pictures of the girls underneath the shower doors tried to say he wanted them for the yearbook and to see their surprised reactions of these candid pictures needless to say big problem did no matter how many times he'd been reported nothing ever happened too many stories about this teacher that should have had legal action from rubbing the inner thigh of the student in his car to being Bulls out in a kilt and propping his leg up on a desk like Captain Morgan what the frig my 8th grade science teacher started to beat the crap out of one of the students it is ok to do that in India released back then this kid was big at some point during the beating he started to hit back and pretty soon it turned into a full-fledged kickboxing the kid beat the crap out of teacher I can't even imagine a teacher hitting my child let alone what I'd say for my child to beat up the teacher for hitting him my brother's science teacher put a decently sized piece of sodium in a beaker of water and was shocked when it exploded and shattered the beaker but my teacher did something similar except he used reasonable sized pieces first and we kept mocking him for being a worse Oster he put a big bit into crap us up and it flew out and hit one of the students luckily he wasn't burned too badly and we decided not to mention it because the teacher was a great laughs and it would have been a shame if he got in trouble we had a teacher that was always chewing gum whenever his gum fell into blackboard shelf he would take that chalk coated thing and put it right on his mouth again plot twist the chalk on the Shelf wasn't chalk I was 7 years old and was taking a basic spelling quiz in class my teacher counted every word wrong even though they were all correct because I put a period after every word obviously there's no need for a period 7y oh he was thinking well I was taught to always put a period after the last word of a sentence young me was just confused more than anything my mom actually called in to complain which never happened she typically didn't get involved when I got involved in conflicts at school that's when it clicked how stupid it was for the teacher to do that instead of the teacher approaching me and saying you see kindof rena periods aren't necessary here don't do that anymore she just confused the crap out of me question on a test in elementary school what is a shadow my answer an area with less light teachers correction wrong an area with no light one of my high school English teachers separated the class into two groups good kids and bad kids she would only teach the good kids and let the bad kids do whatever they wanted because she couldn't control them I'll give a little bit of backstory my younger brother has some learning disabilities and it led him to having trouble learning to tie shoes he didn't learn until roughly 1st or 2nd grade well he had this 60 - 70 year old kindergarten teacher and in the first week she called my mom and to discuss my brother she went off about how he's a terrible student and this and that she hadn't bothered to read his file as he had been and speech therapy in the like from two years old and it really upset my mom the worst part of it is at the end of this she had the audacity to give my mom his gym shoes which were velcro and say he will need new gym shoes as we don't allow [ __ ] shoes in this class needless to say her teaching career didn't last too much longer after that I had teachers that weren't that bad but said some pretty awful crap about my brother who is on the spectrum one of my teachers asked me to deliver a note to one of the gym teachers when I got to the teachers office I knocked on the door so I could be let in the teacher lost it do you not know how to knock correctly that was very rude to show me the correct way to knock she sends out her aide who goes outside closes the door and knocks the exact same way I did the teacher then says see the difference how much nicer that was me number sounds the exact same as I knocked here's your note lady was a psycho my old English teacher ripped out a blood sugar monitor thinking it was an iPhone kid in my class had diabetes as he was walking towards the student everyone was shouting that it wasn't an iPhone he didn't listen and ripped it out the kid had to go to the school nurse and the teacher lost his job because of it my kindergarten teacher did not like my self-portrait I was drawing so she grabbed my hand and did it for me my picture did not turn out well how dare you not make her self-portraits that looks like Leonardo da Vinci made it 10th grade a girl who hung out with some people in my squad needed to pee instructor wouldn't let her leave girl asked again and again and again instructor got peed off and told her he'd give her a week detention if she asked again or left for the bathroom she did the pee dance in her chair he pretended not to notice suddenly she runs out with her face covered crying audibly he's yelling at her until a student tells him to stop she ended up being herself it was all over her seat on the floor all because the instructor wanted to assert his dominance not sure what happened to the instructor mai-chan teacher insisted electricity wasn't invented in the American Civil War the conversation went like this teach there was no electricity in the Civil War class that they had the Telegraph right teach yes class and the telegraph uses electricity right teach yep class so they had electricity teach there was no electricity in the Civil War was your teacher Patrick Starr our chemistry teacher was apparently distracted and using tongs placed a hot test tube from the Bunsen burner into a student's bare hand on the Coach trip back from a field trip some of the class were playfully winding the teacher up and he just lost it he grabbed one of them by the throat and started strangling him he only stopped when another teacher saw what was going on and calmly bit assertively intervened the teacher realized his mistake immediately and sat himself with the lads mates and jokes with them for the remainder of the journey in the that they wouldn't report him work - I can't believe the other teacher didn't report him I was helping out at a primary school 6-7 year-olds in this class and the teacher was teaching basic maths the topic was rounding numbers and she insisted that the children should round down from 6 to the nearest 10 from 5 and up you're meant to round up I was a 13 year old volunteer and felt unable to publicly correct her though I really wanted to one of my female teachers said to our primary 7 class okay a lot of you have been coming up to me and asking for help I am your teacher it's not my job to help you when you're stuck yes really she tried to tell us a trick to spell athlete was that he loved tea everbody just wrote it down I kept looking at it that's not right is it I looked it up in a dictionary that I could reach and raised my hand she got embarrassed and gave me a hard time after that like I was showing her up what did I do you're the one who was telling us the wrong thing kick a student this was our chemistry teacher that a lot of students hated mainly due to her grading and teaching style she gave the AP advanced placement exam to students in her class who were completely lost one day while talking to a few high school friends I heard that they fired her because she kicked a student I completely understood that a student didn't take her crap and she decided it was a good idea to kick him had a history teacher in high school who was cream of the crop well versed about subjects and made history very fun extremely popular with students with the majority of the schools teachers approaching retirement this guy had the chance to become at age 35 a top-ranked schools flagship teacher came out after I graduated that there were reports of inappropriate relations with a couple underage students reports meaning these students confessed to our guidance counselor that they had been in those relationships with him he and the school underwent a conscious uncoupling and he's still unemployed right now despite these issues not being made public really really really stupid thing to do twice the pride double the fall hour a math teacher basketball coach watched that movie coach Carter a few too many times and started trying to be that guy from the movie the first thing he did to try and make us have self-respect was forcing every guy in the classroom to tuck in their shirt when someone pointed out he wasn't tucking in his shirt he said the rules don't apply to him but someone else suggested it's because he's not a guy he lost his mind because he knew the only way out was to tuck his shirt and all be ridiculed by 14-year olds for the rest of the year he took the high road and got insulted every now and then also he stopped forcing people to tuck in their shirts after that we had an older teacher who was a few screws short of a dozen a pigeon flew into his classroom one day he decided to chase it out he didn't just swat at it or guide it with a broom or something no his bright idea was to imitate it and try to coax it into the hall so he starts flapping his arms and cueing he eventually gets it to the hall and then realizes oh I can't just leave a bird here so he proceeds to chase it down the hall towards the stairwell to the roof access while still attempting to take off and signal his flock the fact that this was his first response to having an avian guest audit as history class leads me to think it wasn't the first time this happened it was a tough teaching season for birdperson one of our math teachers got a student pregnant sounds like a multiplication lesson once while in Spanish class our Spanish teacher got mad at us for not knowing something that she was about to teach us yes you did read that right a teacher got mad about something we didn't know and the best part was that she acknowledged that this was a new subject then she asked if we knew anything about the subject and then went on a five-minute rant about why we should know this I love school I wish I was joking about this this happened in a preschool classroom in like 94 ish some context beforehand I had just had some dental work the day or so Prai because I Faso plated on the sidewalk so I'm in classroom with 30 or so kids eating our usual lunch that day cut-up hot dogs and mac and cheese were on the menu I think I ate a bite or two and realized ouch this isn't working I remember this vividly I walk to the trashcan throw my paper plate full of food food first onto a pile of other kids food well the teach or assistant didn't like that I wasted food and didn't eat so they scooped in all the back up on the plate and pretty much forced me to eat it I did they didn't physically force me because I didn't want to get in trouble crying the whole time and yet told my mom after school she stormed in the office and raised her considering she had discussed this prior still pees me off a coach subbing for a teacher who was out pulled a VCR tape form the cabinet labeled rock III I think for us to watch so he didn't have to teach us he was having problems getting the VCR on the TV cart to work and around back asking the class to see if it was working and we were like no he then he heard the video started to play it was a porno called the tower of power not ever looking at the screen he just sat down at his desk to relax he couldn't see the screen from the where his desk was but he heard the woman say Frick me he quickly shut off the tape he took it immediately to the principal and the tape was destroyed or so they said in the teacher was fired on his day off now this happened in 1992 or 1993 and you can him the Tower of Power adult film from 1985 holy moly that must have been shocking for the sub and confusing a for the kids teacher Ave V left a tape of himself in the VCR of his pet project which was apparently him laying on a bed in his underwear screaming at an aquarium I'm a pretty short person due to a problem with my spine so during high school I was a lot shorter than most people in my class our school had this rule that you had to stand up when the teacher came in and do the whole good morning miss whoever routine before being allowed to sit down on one particular day we had a substitute teacher who immediately called me out for not standing up and when I told her I was she snapped at me for not respecting her and now the rest of the class were well aware that I was just short so they tried to tell her I was on my feet but she just wasn't having it she just continued yelling at all of us and threatening detentions if we didn't start showing respect it went on until she lost it and came stomping around the table to prove I was still sitting to find that I was actually on my feet she kind of just cleared her throat went quiet and avoided eye contact with me for the rest of the class even to this day her insistence that she was right and everyone else was wrong completely baffles me in college one of my education professors would tell a story about a teacher who on his very first day of teaching no less freaked out because the police wanted to do a random canine drug search in his classroom he was going off about how his students were good kids and how they would never have drugs at one point lead dragged the copper side and told him that he knew for a fact that one of the kids had drugs and he was trying to help the kid but if the cop found the drugs it would destroy the kids future the cop ignored him and searched the room anyway they found drugs in the teacher's bag none of the kids had drugs the teacher is now unemployed that cop knew the score we had a teacher in fourth grade who threw a shoe at a sleeping kid this wasn't back in the day when that was okay either and the lady who threw it was like mid-30s so we had a smart board at one point those kind that needs special markers we had a sub one day who let us know she knew we were all troublemakers and that she wouldn't listen to a dang thing we will say at one point she picks up an Expo marker which our normal teach at set across the room from the SMART Board to keep them clearly separate we try to tell her not to use it but she literally screams at us until we are quiet then she draws all over the board and tried to erase it the entire class got detention for misleading the Sun it held up for all of one class as we texted our parents about it by the end of that class three people myself included hadn't been checked out of all of our parents legal guardians were raising heck in the office eventually the tension was lifted and we all got apologies from the staff the sub had to give a speech to us apologizing to our faces admittedly we probably all were a bit smug but she lost it started yelling racial slurs at us called a few office drug addicts and W then finally I'm not kidding climbed out of a window and left never saw her again worked in tech services IT kindergarten teacher took the kids to the library and put them all on computers talk to the kids about birds specifically the blue footed boobie then told the kids to search Google for pictures of boobies called us in tears because she was sure she was going to get fired I know some people can be oblivious but you can't not tell me that the idea of you sitting down a class of kindergartners and tell them to look up something something boobies on the computer didn't ever raise a red flag what is the sickest burn you have seen a teacher give to a student talking about percentage of skin on the body if you get burned in health class it was something like 18% on the back and chest 18% for both thumbs and 18% for both legs then 1% for genitals and 10% for your head and neck a kid who we will call Baba shouts out don't you mean 5% for genitals he chirped wheel for you point five percent Bubba pretty shocked just goes excuse me the teacher just yelled really loud your penis Bubba I teased tiny that is what I said dang that's like a 100 percent off skin level burn student constantly skips class teacher where's Justin student I can call him if you want teacher do it calls Justin teacher hey Justin where are you when you should be in my class Justin you can tell he's a little freaked out up mcdonald's teacher pick up an application click I hope he doesn't burn the fries too what sex ed said sarcastically by a fifteen-year-old in my class science teacher Oh HH it's fine you won't need it for another 20 30 years the class was laughing the rest of the lesson student can we postpone the math test it's on my birthday teacher well unlike your birthday this math test was planned ahead of time she is my high school math teacher had three adopted children he was also the econ teacher bad move bento well and one day he was talking about loan repayment etc he used the example of the loans that he'd gotten to pay the adoption costs for his kids and quoted some ridiculously high number I am also adopted and the number he gave was way higher than what my parents told me it costed to adopt my brother and me I raised my hand and said this and he goes well yeah you were probably on sale I laughed so hard I cried he must have thought I was offended because he felt really bad about it and apologized later he was actually crying when he apologized but I told him it was probably the funniest thing anyone had ever said about me being adopted why did I get an F on this assignment well that was the lowest grade I could give you in history class we are in the middle of an understandably somber section about the Holocaust and concentration camp conditions and one student decides it would be the perfect time to fire off a Jewish joke the teacher just turned around slowly and said that's impressive student what's impressive mr. s well here I am talking about men Joe and Hitler not to mention all of the other Nazis and yet you somehow still managed to be the least likable person in today's class literally worse than Hitler we were taking a quick 20 question multiple-choice quiz a few years back in a bio class and the teacher suspected one of the stoner kids in the back had been cheating because he kept messing with his shorts I hope you aren't sliding that pant leg up to check the answers you have written down the student piped back yet of course I have them all written on my dong and without missing a beat a teacher fired back all right well where did you write the eighteen answers the P teacher walked into the boys locker room when my friend was giving another one gum and asked what drugs are handing their friend their steroids you want some you look like you need them teacher no thanks they don't seem to be working student trying to be intimidating don't get me angry you won't like me when I'm angry teacher nobody likes you anyway context student has turned in a lousy paper student come on I bet you did papers the night before when you were in college prof yeah but I'm smarter than you I've said basically the same thing to my students you can write a paper the night before if you've done all the research and other work basically if you've become smart enough my teacher was a bit sarcastic and would often joke with us both of these were about me but I love them 1 what is the difference between gorram reavers and a calendar a calendar has a future to me reading a Snapple cap Hut the average human dream lasts 30 seconds teacher o gorram reavers you make it too easy me what do you mean teacher if the average human dream only lasts 30 seconds why are you still thinking on going to college Jesus that second one I Wow on my end of year report card that I had to take home to my parents one of my teachers wrote I shall miss goodly lawful cheerful presence in my class as well as his ever more creative excuses for the non production of work I came back the next year after I got an a on the national exam for his class and caught him telling a group of prospective students if goodly lawful kinase this course anyone can vouch that second one is cruel teacher goes to turn the AC down kid in my class thank you you read my mind teacher it was a short book James get away from that window everyone will think this is a special school freshmen health in college professor is talking about cardio exercise and wants examples of them some kids blurts out sex to which the professor's replies I don't think I'd consider two minutes of sex a cardiovascular workout no more smartass remarks from that guy ninth grade biology we are learning about how when a sperm meets an egg it creates a cell called a zygote this girl raises her hand to ask so do I have a zygote in me right now he responds I don't know what goes on in your personal life Kelly I had a teacher that would write out next to all my wrong answers on a test you seem to be a bit of an intellectual snob your academic performance makes me wonder why whole class gasped to shreds you say student I forget why I'm going to be one of the people running the world by then I'm the future teacher that's like reminding me that I'm going to die only more depressing double-quote with no regard for human life a friend and I were visiting my English teacher after class and my friend was showing her a picture of her shoes and making sure they were appropriate for graduation teacher those are fine I just meant don't wear any eight shoes me aaww I bought the cutest hate shoes and now I can't wear them s teacher know you'll have to save that for your job set my dumb ass up on that one in sixth grade latin our teacher called a mischievous student a wart on the arse of progress I've always loved that so we are in pay and our teacher is new to the school but taught in juvie for a while and had several tattoos so she played around with us but in the end took no crap we're sitting in the bleachers one day and she leans back and under the hair she always kept it in a bun or something one of the students among the more rowdy of us she tolerated him barely then shouts down at her hammy's name here you look better with your hair down she stops looks at him and goes yeah well you look better with my eyes closed the bleachers erupted kid was sticking an eraser in a Bunsen burner with a pair of tongs science teacher told him to stop because the fumes can give you brain cancer then she added on second thoughts it's probably too late for you to worry about that student's name you're my second favorite student of all time everyone else is tied for first in a sea of rude and offensive comments in this topic this one was actually very clever and funny Jonathan you were one of the babies the Spartans would have thrown down the mountain so I had a friend in HS who wore khaki pants and a collared shirt a school pretty much every day one day he was leaning over some kids desk helping him with something and his ass sticking way out just tempting someone to run over and smack it and another friend James does just that he runs over and lands a perfect incredibly loud slaps square on the book cheeks on him that made him bold to standing up immediately fortunately for every else in the class except for James it wasn't my friend but the teacher who also wore khakis and collared shirts to school every day everyone goes silent and the teacher turns around bright red there with a big smile on his face and says James save that for after class everyone bursts out laughing and the kid of course never lived it down that was the dress code at my high school I had math last period so we usually had the last few minutes to pack up and chill out one girl who would always be on her phone in class Colston what a food before she goes to work the teacher took notice and when she had to give her phone number to the place he wrote it down about a week later when she was texting while he was lecturing he just stops goes to his desk and calls her to tell her to get off her phone or the look of confusion on her face was priceless I went to a college where we wore military like khaki uniforms for Halloween one year our buddy and I switched uniforms he was a marine that worked very hard at keeping his uniform absolutely perfect and I was a slacker that warm or baggy versions of the required khaki as we went to class one teacher realized the switch looked right at my buddy my uniform and said you freaked up already you showed up on time good times after a particularly bad group project presentation that basically just failed to touch on anything relevant to the core subject his review was I asked you for a painting you gave me a frame that's a great metaphor kid walked into history class and said sir what movie are we watching today teacher turned around and said blankly I don't know has your mom made a new one whole class was in tears for about five minutes our a math teacher placed a book on the marker tray of the whiteboard with an arrow on the board connecting the book to the sentence markers biography the book was called the ugliest boy Marco was a student and was also the teachers son this smartass HS senior in my freshman algebra class v mr. capital s hey mr. s you've been teaching forever getting pretty old aren't you ha ha ha when you gonna give it up a mr. s straight-faced like a boss Oh idk Adam I figure about the time you pass this class the guy's face was as red as a Santa suit greatest first day of school ever student calls male teacher gay insinuating the teacher wants him I'm not gay but if I was I could do a lot better than you he had no come back I was up roaming the classroom fooling around when I should have been at my seat bio teacher yelled at me and said sit down you are tilting the room I am not an extremely big guy but big enough for that remark to make sense I like to imagine that this teacher had actually eaten quite a large quantity of shrooms and believed what he said he'll heartedly high school art teacher once asked for a show of hands of who was taking on the course next year with him a troublemaker put his hand up and the teacher just said number you behave as well as you look the class lost their crap after that one this was in junior high which I think was eighth grade we had a math teacher who was a bit rotund and rosy-cheeked and upon reflection a bit effeminate as we all know girls of that age can get a bit tightly wound and dramatic so every time there was a confrontation like that in class he would sing the teapot song as then with dance move and everything for those who do not know I'm a little teapot short and stout this is my handle this is my spout when I get all steamed up hear me shout tip me over and pour me out probably the most effective 14 year old girl diffuser I have ever seen that was adorable I was a teacher for a few years some time ago during my first year of teaching was when M&M was getting really popular I had this one student who was very into M&M to the point of replicating haricot hair color style address etc this student was also frequently disruptive one morning as I was trying to start class he was standing next to his desk chatting with another student and totally oblivious to the fact that class was starting so I look right at him get his attention and say are you the real Slim Shady up number then sit down small victories student can I go to the bathroom teacher I don't know can you student well you can always help me out teacher this isn't a science class I don't have any tweezers double-quote to the burn ward with you strong counter for a week one nice writing a quiz teacher okay kids name finish up kid I'm thinking teacher I thought I smelled burning teacher me and my wife got a new dog and we're trying to think of a name student why not name it by a toll teacher that's a good one but every time it call my dog he would come running my dad was a high school teacher about 30 or 40 years ago he was pretty young so his students felt pretty comfortable around him and felt comfortable messing with him there was this one student who decided to put a tack on my dad's chair before he came in one morning my dad noticed it before he sat down and decided to keep standing a few minutes into class that kid got called to the office my dad took the tack and put it on the kids chair when the kid returned the other students were able to hide their snickering pretty well he sits down and immediately jumps about six feet in the air the class bursted out laughing my dad always wins this was about 2006 student the song American Idiot was written about you teacher boulevard of broken dreams was written about your future this is the one that made me laugh sounds like one of my old teachers I once rushed through an AP English essay at the last minute it was returned to me with a litany of red ink and a question at the end why waste this paper happy ending I got a five stroke five on the actual AP exam what's the stupidest thing a teacher has tried to tell your child teach a once argued with me about how to pronounce my own ding named fourth-grade Jim health teacher told us that sleeping on your stomach causes stomach cancer that's funny my 3rd grade gym teacher told me that biting chewing the inside of my cheeks a thinking habit I get from my mother would give me cancer I was utterly terrified until I went home to my mom and she told me it was a load of crap and then my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer sometime later clearly that's what caused it I got an a large argument in seventh grade because my teacher wrote a test with the question being how many weeks are in a year he said the answer was 48 still get angry that I got that wrong me I am going to publish this essay on my FTP server so I can download it later but school librarian you are going to do what me I am going to put this on the Internet school librarian you can just put stuff on the internet her concern was valid if you were still in school you were likely not old enough to have been able to acquire an internet publishing license I'm still saving up for mine my English teacher once told me that separating was not a word I got told discombobulated wasn't either I learned it when I was writing pages from the dictionary for being a smartass in third grade our history teacher started talking about Benjamin Franklin basically the usual stuff that everyone knows but then she says how great of a president he was while I'm in third grade and I know that's not right I raised my hand and I tell her that Benjamin Franklin was never a president the class disagrees with me and so does the teacher but I hold my ground and she looks in her book of Presidents and sure enough I'm right most satisfying moment of my life the teacher was actually willing to admit she was wrong that at least makes her infinitely superior to most of the teachers in these stories the kids in my son's class had to pick a state to do a report on one of the kids picked Hawaii the teacher told him he had to pick another one because Hawaii isn't a state a substitute tried to tell us that 9/11 was the first time America was attacked on our own soil good lord stuff like this should be our go-to answer when people question why we should bother to learn history when my brother was in grade four both of his teachers insisted that Mexico was in South America and laughed at him for saying otherwise when he brought in articles about NAFTA that my mom printed out for him to prove them wrong they said anyone can say anything on the Internet I had a teacher in a second-grade tell our class that Texas is the largest state I proceeded to attempt to correct her by pointing out that Alaska quite a bit larger than Texas her only response was Alaska doesn't count because it's made of ice when I was in elementary school a pay coach insisted that the oxygenated blood was blue I tried to tell him otherwise blood is dark red when it's drawn from a syringe e.t.c but he didn't listen I ended up asking my doctor who burst out laughing and said something to the lines of him that is why he is the pay coach not your doctor not my child but my father was once told by a high school teacher that the Japanese kamikaze pilots all performed seppuku on themselves right before their planes hit ships in Pearl Harbor this is 10x more epic than the truth I was born in France I moved here when I was 8 you and spoke no English only new yes no and thank you I went to a bilingual school for 3rd 4th and 5th grade you learn pretty quickly at that age my fifth grade teacher was Latin don't remember what country she was from but death Spanish as a first language heavy accent we were doing grammar one day and she asked me what part of a speech a certain word was I said it's a verb her response no it's a birth I argued with her that for 2 years I'd been taught that it's verb not birth she insisted that it was birth and made me say birth the rest of the year the next year I started middle school at a regular school same convo w new teacher and I say it's a birth of course everyone including the teacher laughed at me I was like I knew it earlier teacher my coworker was told by her son's kindergarten teacher that if she fed him fruit while he had a flu he'd develop an allergy to the fruit I nearly peed myself laughing my teacher insisted there were 100 meters in a kilometer huge argument ensued I won with my facts well there are also 900 more pedantry aside that's got to be infuriating my Homeric teacher tried to convince us that honey was very bad and to always eat white processed sugar also fresh cows milk and fresh eggs are poisonous until processed after growing up on a ranch in the middle of nowhere and eating all three no not all my life she called me a liar and said I should have been dead a long time ago I am dead and I have come for you to profess all your lies I don't have children but I was told in sex ed that condoms do not protect against any STDs I was always confused as to why gay men wore condoms I thought it was some sort of fetish my sister's third-grade teacher thought that a baker's dozen was 11 since the baker ate one as a baker I can confirm this had a teacher tell me that a gallon was 64 ounces I told her it was twice that a security guard came to the door to drop off mail something and she asked him he said 128 Oz in the teacher ran from the room sobbing right past the very confused guard a sane woman told me that Japan is a communist nation Japan is an animation nation in 2004 back when I was in the sixth grade we had a geography quiz one of the questions was who Hong Kong belonged to United Kingdom and China were both answer choices I answered China and got it wrong so I asked my teacher about it she told me that although Hong Kong was technically now part of China the textbook which was printed in 1996 said it was still part of the UK therefore she wouldn't correct my quiz why the Frick would you put a question like that in a quiz knowing the situation my 6th grade teacher asked the class for an example of an interesting animal I said piranha she said no fish aren't animals that's when I realized she was a complete idiot my science teacher told me that we'd all die in 50 years when the coal supply ran out cue me having a mad panic and bullying my eyes out until my dad told me otherwise growing up in the 1890s must have been stressful my year 9 UK school year I was 14 euro geography teacher insisted that Havana was in Mexico I had been to Cuba not one year before yet she insisted she was right she called me to find Ravana on the map and find it I did chilling there on Cuba's western tip on the massive map of the world on the wall next to her desk okay sit down now was her response I lost quite a bit of respect for teachers that day and it was from that point I truly began questioning what people presented to me as fact if she was wrong about that I thought what other Bulls has she been passing off as fact she accidentally gave you the beginnings of wisdom my cousin's teacher asked the class of very young children to name colors of apples she a screamed the teacher said I mean ripe apples she said yay green my mom buys green apples and the teacher made her look like an idiot in class she got home and told her mom about it and my aunt promptly purchased two granny smith apple for each student in the class and came with her to school the next day my sister's teacher in grade seven insisted that it was the leaning tower of pizza even after several of the kids told her it was Pisa high school science teacher said Katrina was a twister I raised my hand and said it was a hurricane instead of admitting she made a mistake she continued to defend her original statement I continued to explain to the class what the differences were in that in fact Katrina was a hurricane with a major fact being it was named we don't go around naming tornadoes do we the teacher cried I was an ass when I was younger I guess okay this one really P me off in my freshman year of high school we were studying US history for about the seventh time and we were talking about the desegregation of Little Rock High School ela we had to do some kind of group work in which we had to write down facts of some sort about the incident I talked about how President Eisenhower had to send a bit over a thousand US Army troops from the 101 st. airborne to protect the incoming African American students the student teacher basically just the teachers B was walking by and just laughed at my comment he hated me I looked at him with a strong sense of confusion thinking that maybe I got my numbers wrong and he said you really think that the one hundred and first Airborne would go to Little Rock High School to protect it what do you think they did flew all their fighters to the high school to protect it had overhead the tax on the protesters come home snoop Oscar be rational here I tried describing to the student teacher that the 101 st. airborne isn't the Air Force and that the troops were definitely from that section of the military but once again he laughed at me thankfully we had computers in class so I looked it up showed him the information and still thought I was wrong he still made fun of me for thinking that you know what I'm going to send him an email now that I'm gone from that school there are sharks in the Dead Sea somewhat on topic back when I was in second grade my parents had just gotten me this awesome messenger bag that had a big sailboat on it I was super excited and showed my teacher we needed to have our named somewhere on our backpacks and supplies usually written on the tags inside but this bag didn't have any tags so instead my teacher proceeded to write my name with a permanent marker all over the front of my bag and she then wrote a letter to my parents saying my school bag was too small and I needed a larger one I was extremely sad and my parents piaf had a substitute teacher that told the class that aids would be airborne in the next three years he got mad at me when I said really because no it isn't I dig that response health and career class tried to say that drugs weren't bad they related it to coffee then said it was okay to try at parties when I was in the seventh grade my teacher failed me on a report that stated Christopher Columbus did not discover the Americas he landed in the West Indies and the Caribbean islands he also was not the first European explorers who eventually visit the Americas at least one previous Explorer Leif Erikson preceded him the teacher stated that I was blatantly making things up to hype my sense of self-importance I don't believe I had ever been so angry in my life I had a multiple-choice test question in fifth grade that asked if tall buildings were measured in may millimeters be centimeters si meters D kilometres I picked meters which he claimed was incorrect and that the correct answer was kilometres that led to an argument with my math teacher which in turn led to a parent-teacher conference where my parents apparently had a hard time stifling their laughter but I would have just argued that they were all correct because it's a unit of length and therefore suitable for measuring Heights son's 3rd grade assignment drawn your dream house he got an F because his dream house was unrealistic he failed another student choice off-topic assignment on dinosaurs because dinosaurs weren't real as they weren't in a Bible he got detention when he told her neither were air conditioners public school early nineties in rural Texas my son was in kindergarten and had an assessment test to determine if he was prepared to continue I came enough towards for the review the teachers commented that he did very well but he missed a question what's your favorite number apparently he answered infinity and explained clearly why yah they were looking for a simpler answer like 5 when I told them that in mathematics it's considered a number they said it was too high a concept for a child to understand and therefore wrong how do you get an opinion question wrong this happened to me rather than my kids we had a substitute too now kindergarten class who went on a rant about how the Holocaust wasn't real and never happened my best friend was also in my class and she lost her grandparents in the Holocaust we went home and told our mothers who showed up together the next morning and by the end of that day that woman wasn't allowed to substitute in that district anymore my junior high science teacher along with my entire class were convinced that while skydiving when you pulled the chute you actually go up like the parachutes somehow creates lift almost like a bungee cord I tried to tell them that it just appears that way because a person filming doesn't pull their chute at the same time and therefore keeps falling a terminal while the parachuters velocity is significantly reduced totally felt like I was on crazy pills the whole class was yelling at me we had to take it to a high school physics teacher resolve the argument when I was 9 years old my parents divorced and my new elementary school had a ridiculous in-house therapist his methods included coloring a blank chalk outline photo in different colors to show where I felt my emotions even as a child I was irritated also he suggested I kick the wall if I'm ever angry because the wall doesn't feel pain I did so and smashed a 13 X 10 inches hole through the drywall in my bedroom you should have kicked a hole in his office wall the walked out saying thanks I feel so much better now this is Cato of power if you subscribe your power level will increase by sixty-four levels if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 223,515

Rating: 4.6845136 out of 5

Keywords: smartest, dumbest, smart, dumb, stupid, stupidest, smart students, smart teachers, smartest students, smartest things, dumbest students, dumbest questions, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: AAdsZkSY4Cw

Length: 99min 7sec (5947 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 25 2020