1 Hour Of The Craziest Rules Stories Of r/AskReddit

what's a rule that was implemented somewhere that massively backfired my city has issues with loud bikes vehicles so as a deterrent the city put up decibel meters that displayed how loud your engine is similar to those signs that read your speed and display it to you but instead of deterring anyone people would pull up to these signs and rev the heck out of their engines to see who could get the highest decibel count the city took the counters down within a week I work in manufacturing and we get paid peace rates so the more I run the more I get paid we also have a base hourly pay rate of $10 HR so whichever pays more the alley or the peace rate is what we get paid for the day on bad days sometimes they bump us to $12 HR after the day and when we train new people we get paid $15 HR to compensate for having to slow down or stop our machines to teach the new people eat the big boss my boss boss boss came in last week now he used to work on the line like I do now but you can tell he's living comfortably in his corporate life and has forgotten some of the bad parts of this job he told my boss that we are to no longer receive training pay because by his logic if we are working with someone we should be making more than $15 HR anyway and these past three weeks or so we have been doing a lot of training so a few of us got together at the end of the day and agreed if they aren't paying us we won't strain people we will teach the new people enough to make us some money and leave the training to the designated trainers two people split between 15 or so new hires but they make $17.50 HR the policy lasted for days buddy of mine told me about a happy hour promotion at bar ran close to his campus apparently the special was something stupid like 50 cent beers that lasted until the first person went to the bathroom as he tells it the first few weeks went without incident but once it got more popular people were going to extreme lengths to not be that guy including wearing adult diapers once people tried to covered ly pee in corners and trash cans the bar cancelled the promotion while he had a rat problem following the influx of European visitors rat stowaways it was a big problem because many species of Hawaiian birds are only found in Hawaii and had never had predators the rats were destroying the native bird population so they decided to bring in mongooses yes that's the plural to kill the rats problem is that rats are nocturnal and mongooses are diurnal they never see one another both are now happily feasting on whatever is left of the native birds fun facts this actually inspires the use of adamant Rattata and young use in Pokemon Sun and Moon at my old job some people abused lunch so they made a few of em text in when they started and finished lunch one guy specifically would text the start time place he got food his order in detail the address price etc even when he bought a snack wall out that stopped a week later worked for a marketing firm that often locked you out of the building if you weren't back in your cubicle by the second your break was up they revoked your break the next day as punishment this is not legal here in New York State they got into a lot of trouble I once saw true crime show that was about a kidnapping turned murder case two guys had abducted another guy for his car I think and had him in the trunk the perps started talking and one of them said you know if we get caught the sentence of kidnapping is the same as murder so we might as well kill this guy that way we have less chance of getting caught the chilling part was that the poor guy in the trunk probably heard every word coma when Domino's said all pizzas would be delivered in 30 minutes or less all your pizza was free all the delivery drivers kept getting in car accidents to get your pizza to you on time so it wouldn't come out of their paycheck it was a short-lived venture school I go to has a rule that says if you come late three times you get an unjustified absence which lowers your grade quite a bit so if someone is late they pretty much always skip class so they can get an absence that can be justified by simply signing it also the infamous Barbados versus Grenada soccer match the organizers of the 1994 Caribbean tournament cup had a rather odd change to the rules for extra time if a game was still drawn at full time it would go to extra time but the first goal scored would win this is perfectly normal the golden goal rule what was different is that they ruled that winning this way would count as having won by two goals for the purpose of tournament qualification instead of just one Barbados went into a match against Grenada needing two goals to qualify for the main tournament if they lost or won by only one goal Grenada would qualify instead under the regular rule this would mean that if the match went to extra time there would basically be no point Barbados playing because even if a scored they would only win by one goal and not qualify but the two-point rule would motivate them to play on sound good well you might be able to guess what happened the match looked like it was about to end with Barbados 2-1 Grenada a win for Barbados but not the two goals they needed sooo Barbados deliberately scored an own goal in the last few minutes of the match making the score 2-2 hoping to trigger extra time and a chance to score the magic to value goal the Grenada players quickly realized they could do the same score an own goal to make the match 3-2 to Barbados which would have Barbados winning by only one goal so Grenada would qualify but the Barbados players realized that too and so they began to defend grenadiers goal so for the last seven minutes of the match Grenada were trying to score a goal in either net since scoring a goal against Barbados would give them 3-2 and they would win the match and scoring and their own goal would make it 3-2 to Barbados so they would lose the match but win the qualification and Barbados were defending both amazingly Barbados did actually managed to do so successfully defending themselves while half of their team were defending grenadiers go against Grenada and then scored the golden goal in extra time and qualified middle school wanted to create a trash free environment so they removed the trash cans from the parking lots holes and cafeteria then just told the kids to toss your trash when you get home or in a classroom the amount of litter skyrocketed overnight after a week or so they brought back the cans a salon I worked at one day decided to drug test the hairstylists out of 12 stylists 11 failed the manger texted everybody the next day and told them to come to work I worked at Macy's one Christmas and found out the reason why you can never find anyone at the registers is because they don't allow employees to stand at the register because it's intimidating I can't tell you how many times I gave up trying to purchase something there because I couldn't find anyone to ring me up I used to work at a semiconductor lab looking for defects in computer chips with an electron microscope the work is complicated precise and easy to frick up one wrong move and the sample is toast Alec lost in processing as they say in the booze management got really angry at lips and started clamping down really hard on technicians who did them if you freaked up a sample you got written up the problem is that not all jobs are created equal some jobs are really easy and other jobs are really hard and risky so the smart technicians started taking all of the easy jobs and the idiots who didn't know any better started taking all of the hard jobs the lip rates then went up and it created a really contentious atmosphere in the lab of people screwing each other over to take the easiest jobs morale plummeted and people started leaving to go to other groups that weren't crap sandwiches this drove lab output down even further my last job got a new facility head she didn't like the fact that we wore shorts in a kitchen in the summer when temps would get over 100 she made a new rule that shorts weren't allowed but skirts were fine my supervisor told me I didn't have the stones to wear a skirt to work I am a male guess who showed up to work the best day in a skirt the new rule lasted about a month before the new leader got tired off cross dressers running around the facility once I started it all the other guys started wearing skirts as well I do not miss that place a hotel I used to work for decided they were having an alcohol-free holiday party this didn't sit well with the people who'd been working there for years and were accustomed to a full bar at the party the staff parking lot ended up being full of people drinking in their cars trying to get a good bus to carry them through the party and most people ended up getting way drunker than they would have so the party was a crap show friend had a non alcohol wedding nearly everyone took ecstasy instead complete opposite of the sober event the parents wanted you have to eat whatever you touch was a rule in my kindergarten which led to all the children touching all the food to call dibs on it Washington State's made it mandatory for schools to drop their room temperatures to save on electricity the result teachers brought their own heaters into their offices and use of electricity increased I once worked at a pizza place our manager got tired of the colorful language one day and decided to enact a swear jar she said she charged us a quarter for every time we cast my coworker Jay was the first person to get penalized she said you owe a quarter he pops a dollar bill in and said take a freakin dollar freaking B it didn't last long hahahaha whoo I worked somewhere that did a swear jar I just buy my swears for the day when I quit they gave me all the money in the jar because most of it was mine anyway what's the most ridiculous rule in your place of work many years ago I was a vacuum cleaner salesman there were songs about this particular brand of vacuum cleaner and how awesome it was every morning we had to sing these songs as a group in fairness it was a pretty quality item in fairness it was a pretty quality item it's okay man you're free now you don't need to sing the song anymore I'm a teacher so I have a million stupid rules I have to follow but the worst one is that my performance evaluation is based on student improvement on the stats or a/c test I teach woodshop at my old job HR held a beating to tell us that there was too much swearing on the sales floor someone raised their hand and pointed out that's is very common in our industry and that is the way that our customers speak HR later sent out a memo explaining that swearing should be limited to conversations with clients it was amazing if you are stuck in traffic on the way to work you must email the CEO phone calls and texts are not permitted only email I'd get that one in writing and send it to the corporate insurer I used to work at a place in which my boss implemented and no more than two glasses a day water policy water see I ignored this rule and complained directly to our CEO and the matter ended later that day and what was weird though was the majority of people actually followed the rule and some even shocked me up to a chair about breaking the rules I left not long after that because not only was my boss a bellend but if my colleagues were going to HR over me drinking water then I obviously couldn't trust them but they loved being superior because dehydration delirium whoa had a workplace time our bathroom breaks and deduct them from our allotted 15-minute breaks or lunch we had to go see the office manager to get a key to open the restroom as soon as we left his office he would start a timer when you got back he would stop the timer and tell you how much time you needed to deduct from your lunch your next break they watched our breaks like a hawk also if you made a mistake they would stand over you and time you while you fixed it and deduct that from your lunch or breaks you couldn't bring anything that smells for lunch and they had no way of heating anything up I worked out my contract and split business casual dress code even when I work at home they Skyped me to check the VP of our company just held a mass meeting to tell all of us we can't have pictures or plants or food or any form of non office supplied object on our desk tons of co-workers have family pictures or their kids finger paintings pinned up on the cubicle walls all that has to be removed people were P that is the first sign you should leave if they need to exert that control over you it means other things are failing my dad told me this one a while back he used to work for a PR firm the way he described the office environment think the office but in the 1980s the company hired a corporate efficiency specialist to come in and improve things she came in and implemented all kinds of rules which seemed to follow some sort of caste system her philosophy was the higher your office rank the more perks you get her idea of perks number of pictures you are allowed in your cubicle whether you are allowed to have a potted plant or not coffee mugs were only allowed to senior employees others had to use paper cups being allowed to leave the office for lunch was also considered a perk needless to say a COO soon followed and she was tossed out on her honey that doesn't sound like it makes anything efficient dress code policy has just done at my work different positions have different requirements even though we all work in the same office my favorite rule though is the one on shorts we can wear shorts on Fridays between Memorial Day and Labor Day however the shorts can't have pockets on the side it was written to discourage ratty cargo shorts but the way in which it is written allows me to wear gym shorts so I do once worked at a place where some minibus decided that since UPS trucks don't turn left we shouldn't either I don't know or care how well that worked out for UPS if this was a goddamned ambulance company with a 9-1-1 contract i will tell with UPS trucks turn left or not or if that is beneficial for them or not and frankly i don't care the point is that many of us thought they did and that was the reasoning he gave he was an idiot I did not stay there long not my current job that I used to work for some crazy people you had to stand in a specific area while eating so they could see you on the camera don't talk to customers longer than three minutes unless you're making a big sale even then keep it short answer the phone within two rings keep the conversation to less than 30 seconds you can't talk to your co-workers outside of work you can't talk to your co-workers while at work even if there was not a single customer in the door I'm sure there's more I just can't think up right now full job of mine in a warehouse our stations were pretty far apart so when we listen to music we'd all usually have our own stuff playing not a problem since you could barely hear the neighbors music well the CEO didn't like hearing multiple songs when walking through the warehouse he made a rule that we all either had to listen to the same music or none at all I'd put on the same song but everyone started 15 seconds apart we got a new vacation policy where you could take unlimited time off when he announced it we looked at the big boss like he had a dong growing out of his forehead although while he assured us that if we wanted vacation to take it really a little bit afterwards he changed it to discretionary time off meaning that if your boss approved it it was okay and then the change to 160 hours should be the max and if you go over 200 hours then you probably don't need to work here I once needed a pen figured this was a reasonable ask went to the supply closet on my floor which was locked asked the floors admin she told me to go to the main supply room in the basement went to the basement and explained my situation of needing a pen they told me all requests for supplies must be approved by my department head problem is being knew I'd never met my department head she also worked in San Francisco I worked in Milwaukee so I needed to send an email both introducing myself and asking her if I had permission to get a pen from the supply closet this is my favorite one so far that's so ridiculous in every way if you had to take a leave on Monday or Friday so that you have an extended weekend of three days instead of two it was counted of three days leave counting in Saturday and Sunday I deal with that if you are one minutes late it is a tardy if you take a half-day nothing goes on your record I was told to just take a half-day if you are going to be late because they straight-up fire you for tardies also if you clock out early it is a tardy if you have to go to the doctor on lunch break and it is going to take an hour and 10 take the rest of the day off weird firemen our risk management department decided long ago that poles were too risky for us so we use the stairs we have poles anyway now the newest rule is no free weights as in no free weights to work out stay fit go into burning high-rise absolutely walk around the station carrying 40 pound dumbbells too risky I feel you my FD just got some workout equipment rowing machine and bike it had been delayed due to liability concerns but we actually have a fire pole that we use it's all very confusing we aren't allowed to wear jackets unless they are purchase from the resort gift shop with the hotel name logo on it but they are $50 plus and we don't get reimbursed but it's the price you pay to stay warm in the cold months McDonald's did this to us when I worked there they paid half but there were still like 50 - 60 bucks for a shitty fleece I just wore my regular jacket and nobody said a thing former job there was trouble when I officially moved desks and my new desk had a phone with cool display apparently cool display phones were allowed for people at a certain pay level your pay level also governed the height of your cubicle walls my managers solution was to promote me another former job we were mandated to work on a range enira ng related research project outside of work hours because a responsible engineer always gives back to the engineering community I could live with that however your project had to be related to the company's business we have to do all of our paperwork at least three times there is a copy of it in our personal folders a copy online and a copy in our store folders but not only does it wastes time and paper but forgetting to do one has gotten people fired they did the other two identical pieces of paperwork confirming that yes they did take out the trash and yes they did check the store voicemail but how dare they forget to do the third piece of identical paperwork our weekly visits from corporate revolve around whether or not we've all done this paperwork it's so redundant my workplace doesn't let you use the word problems instead we have to say challenges if something is wrong as a problem is a negative word and challenges promotes the fact that there is room to fix said problem but I'd love to have a boss tell me my drinking has become a challenge form a job at a law office one of the partners sent an email to the entire staff that employees were not allowed to gossip in the building what was everyone gossiping about you asked Oh said partner was divorcing his wife and sleeping with one of the associate attorneys in the firm but you know don't gossip all the extra toilet paper in the building has to stay in a single closet where it can be overseen by the toilet paper Queen I heard her shrieking the other day when she discovered someone had hoarded one spare roll of toilet paper upstairs so the people who work upstairs wouldn't have to walk down multiple flights of stairs when the toilet paper ran out I hope toilet paper Queen is actually her title I used to work for the now long defunct books movies and music store media play just one of the 285 reasons that poorly run business ran into the ground was the tardy attendance policy if you were literally one second late clocking in even hours before the store opened it was a really really big deal you'd not only be formally written up but lectured like a child often times berated even if you were tardy three times by by however if you know showed and then call two hours later saying you were sick okay thank you feel better this trained everyone to just take a sick day instead of being half a second late to work I can't tell you how many times you'd see a co-worker screeching into the parking lot before work after fighting traffic from a wreck or whatever noticing it was 801 and then slowly driving off to go home and feign being sick this was particularly upsetting when it was a pulldown stalked week when we needed every hand on deck that had unusually early shifts when I was in the military I saw a buddy of mine sitting outside crying I went and consoled him best as I could apparently he was just depressed in unhappy after he was feeling a bit better I went to go and find someone to tell them what was happening they knew in fact he had been crying so much lately that they had instituted a no crying at your desk policy which is why he was outside dear God what the frig if we want to take a full five day week off we need to use to vacation days one personal and two more vacation days can never use three vacation days straight something similar here we can't use our sick time until we use three vacation days so let's say I have no vacation hours but get really sick I can't use PT o our sick time is essentially useless can't have my hands in my pockets I Drive valet the company handbook says you're never allowed to backup ever you absolutely cannot do the job without reverse it's impossible it's in there because of liability and our insurance policy this way it can always be the valid fault if an accident occurs ever malicious compliance we can't ask others if they want to come grab a coffee in the break room just develop a subtle nod that means the same thing no accusing of the staff members of being witches yet it happened so we had to make a rule I run a hospital in Uganda which is exactly the kind of rule which would create it's not like this anymore but for a while they attempted to have a dress code guys had to wear collared shirts but Hawaiian style shirts were totally acceptable you could not wedge on shorts but Jean overall the shorts were okay I got sent home one day because my shorts weren't fingertip length we were tech support no one ever saw us that was the best part I'm picturing a bunch of IT workers in Hawaiian shirts and overalls and I love it I worked as a call receiver we never saw a customer we were only on the phones with em rule your hair must only be a natural color I dyed my hair the same exact color that someone from a different [ __ ] heard i was reprimanded I told them that if the rule is not enforced for everyone they couldn't single their reasoning for letting the other person have that color but not me mine was my real hair dyed in unnatural color hers was a weaver could be changed very easily really then why hasn't she been asked to change her hair because that crap is expensive they gave up trying to convince me they were in the right I had a boss who didn't like the out ragas color I had in my hair I'm a natural redhead I work in retail and we have on-call shifts your name will be listed on the schedule for a certain time as a Colin so you have to call one hour before your shift to figure out if they need you to work for the day for example you would be listed as on-call for 2 p.m. and wouldn't know until 1:00 p.m. if you were working that evening if you don't call in it's considered not showing up for a shift but there's no extra pay for the shifts whether they need you or not so for 3 days of the week I don't know if I have to work or not can't make any solid plans to do anything except call my work and ask if they need me I can't imagine having children or elderly that need taking care of because it would be such a hassle to arrange care for them just an hour before having to work this is actually illegal I actually want money from a lawsuit against Victoria's Secret and their on-call policy I used to work for a large bank we had an attendance policy that was so complicated it actually created an incentive for employees to take an entire day off rather than be tardy too often my high school had that too if you were late enough to miss first period you got a cut which was a detention even being late to first period 3 times counted as a cut which was another detention an absence was just an absence no cuts no detentions redditors have grew up with strict parents what was the craziest rule or punishment you had to deal with we weren't allowed to have food upstairs if I had food wrappers in my trash can so they searched my whole room ripping clothes off hangers throwing stuff out of drawers et Cie and for three months I wasn't allowed in my room for anything unless accompanied by one of them I slept on the couch the word disgusting was banned and could have been considered just as bad as saying Frick we weren't allowed to close doors unless we were in the bathroom we weren't allowed to watch Cartoon Network because it was garbage they actually put a parental lock on Cartoon Network the worst punishment was one time they decided that we were such bad kids my sister was like 14 I was 12 ish that they took everything we owned and bagged it up into garbage bags and made us carry them out to a burn pile and they burnt everything we owned all of my childhood memorabilia pictures clothes Diaries everything burnt it all freaked up when it was done burning the next day or so later my sister and I looked through the ashes and all that was left were two silver rings of hers that we cleaned off and kept crazy crap when I was in first grade I had a writing homework assignment my dad used to be weird about me raising because he wanted me to do it right the first time I ended up erasing a lot on this homework and my dad took the paper from me ripped it in half and told me to start over turns out it was the last sheet of paper in the entire house and I don't remember why but for some reason we couldn't go and buy more paper that night it's so ironically I ended having to completely erase an old homework assignment in order to have a sheet of paper to start over on I'm 22 now and still give him crap about this as one should I once got beaten and locked in the basement because my hands were literally not large enough to play a certain piano piece I couldn't play an octave separation yet before you ask yes I am Asian French guy here I did violin my brother piano although we enjoyed it at first our love for music died out when passion was met with fair I was not allowed to use public restrooms I ruined our Disney trip because of how many times we had to go back to the hotel not on site when I was six and I quite honestly had accidents when I was far too old to do so because my parents had my teachers reporting bathroom used to them too there was no place I could safely use the restroom other than home without getting into trouble finally I got to use public restrooms about punishment when I freaking went to college no I'm not kidding but I got pretty good at hiding restroom use in high school because the high school refused to report it to my parents why did none of these teachers spot the abuse how my parents once grounded me for two years from getting a B on my report card took everything out of my room besides the bed and I wasn't allowed to do anything with friends a year and a half into it I asked if I could be ungrounded and at that point they had actually forgotten what they grounded me for but refused because I must have done something bad if they grounded me also they refused to let me stay up past 8 p.m. even in high school when you're being punished without reason it's not punishment anymore when I was in preschool 1993 there was a girl who wasn't allowed to play outside because she'd get her dress dirty thankfully the staff always had a chain job play clothes for her because effort I brought play clothes to my cousin's graduation party I said hi to all the adults and chatted for a while then put my shorts and t-shirt on to defend my badminton title I am 33 when I was a kid I had dysgraphia but my parents didn't know that so I used to take time to do my homework my mom would threaten to throw my homework out the window if I wasn't done by certain time I lived in an apartment block and this window was into a service shaft I too had undiagnosed dysgraphia for years I remember spending hours redoing my homework because it wasn't neat enough when I was in elementary school at about 6 years old I used to have accidents because my bladder was too small my mom would punch me in the bladder when I got home to make me pee myself and make fun of me when I did I still have issues and it turns out that my bladder and uterus is fricked up from a genetic disease that is awful but now you have a cool secret handshake to show your mom every time you visit her in her underfunded old-age home no talking at the dinner table other than the occasional do you want some more of this or please pass the salt we could not talk about anything at all no small idle chat was allowed first time you did it you got yelled at second time was a whooping and then sent to your room until the next day without the rest of your meal I make it a point now with my kids to chat up a storm each and every meal you could earn a full on a swooping for uttering any of the following shut up but accusing someone of lying for any reason we were not permitted to use the words laiá laiá lying instead we had to say that's not a truth well that doesn't sound right or any other phraseology that wasn't some iteration of the word lie I can relate my siblings and I weren't able to say boring without my mom freaking out not that crazy just something that stuck with me since I generally consider my parents to be good caring parents mainly just overprotective but when I was 15 I got really depressed and kinda shut down academically and socially my parents didn't know what to do with me at one point they ran out of ways to ground me and my life was consequently made up of just going to school and coming home and lying motionless in bed staring at the wall or sleeping but my grades still hadn't improved so they thought denying me off privacy solitude by taking away my bedroom door would persuade me to get my grades up spoiler alert it didn't lol my stepmom and dad did this too I was into choir and loved music and they would take things that brought me any joy as the eldest son of a so hon Baptist preacher I was held to some high standards being seen and not heard and that my every action was a reflection of my father as a leader to his congregation I found music to be great outlet but of course any non-christian music was not allowed and immediately destroyed upon discovery spare the rod spoil the child was a mantra engrained in my daily life once I was into my teens and spankings with stretched out coat hangers was no longer enough to be considered punishment due to the lack of tears my father moved on to shaving my head nothing like the constant reminder of how unworthy one is once their physical source of personal identity is forcibly removed freak this thread sucks Oh one I can answer my mother is an honest-to-god narcissist I graduated from high school early at 16 and didn't go to college immediately so I worked a part-time job while all my friends went to school anyways when all my friends graduated high school we celebrated by going to the movies but my friend's mom dropped us off and another friend's father was going to be picking us up my mom was very upset at me going to the movies anyways since it wasn't going to be over until after 9:00 p.m. by bedtime at the time anyways finally she lets me go on the condition that friends dad gets me home by 10:00 p.m. my friend's father ran into late night construction on the way home with me and several other friends and the Vanden the closer we got to 10:00 p.m. the more I started freaking out telling everyone I was going to be in huge trouble if I didn't get home like right now my friend's father assured me he would speak to my mom and all would be fine I was the first be be dropped off because I was panicking so severely the moment the van pulls into the driveway my mom comes barreling out of the house telling me she was going to kick my ass for being late and keeping her up my friend's dad tries to calm her down and separate her from hitting me that is when she realizes I'm chewing gum now my mother hated gum said the only reason you would ever chew gum was to hide something so naturally she makes the assumption that I was late to chewing gum because I was busy sucking my friend's dad's dong yup that was the only explanation in her mind she grounded me for 12 weeks an entire summer I wasn't allowed to have a phone cell phone TV or books the entire summer every morning my mom would take the cable box home phone handset and keyboard to make sure I couldn't do anything needless to say my friends never invited me anywhere again in fear that my mom would call the cops and accuse me of sucking their dad's dong she also used to report my car stolen if I didn't call her back when I was in college but please tell me you two no longer see each other or speak I refused to greet my sister's new boyfriend with more than a SUP so later that night my mom Hulk smashed my laptop double fist style I dealt with a narcissistic abusive mother most of my punishments weren't huge because I was a really good kid bent on my 18th birthday because I asked for gas money the day before the first time ever she took mine and her car keys with her to work and took the shed key no garage so I couldn't even ride my bike and left a note on the kitchen table saying happy 18th now you're adults so get out of my house I spent my birthday alone trapped and miserable all over $10 my mother went crazy and left the house and tears on my 18th birthday because I wanted to go out with my friends she didn't come home till after 2:00 a.m. bit late but one day the news says school might be closed for a cold day like a snow day it's for when it's cold enough your exposed skin freezes in 10 mins my mom demanded I start walking to school or she'd report me to the cops as truant we argued TV set school started late that day I decided to go anyways the being better than the arguing she then decided I was to stay home for her to call the cops I shoved past her which she yelled at me was assault and then locked me out of the house halfway to school I was told the school was closed I had to call my dad to be let in the house again that day I promised myself I'd leave home as soon as possible I've stayed halfway across the country from my mom ever since no TV not as a punishment just no TV ever because apparently it lets the devil in the second eye as the last kid moved out they started watching TV all the time as punishment my dad would make us face a corner stand on one leg and keep both arms straight up in the air for a certain length of time if our leg or arms went down he'd double the time sometimes he'd give you a surprise visit from his belt or shoe if he was particularly P at least I grew up to have fantastic balance but that's called a stress position to asserting prisons inmates there was an entire scandal when I was 13 no dating until uni when I was 18 no dating until I finish uni when I am 20 and about to graduate no dating unless it's someone I choose for you wth in a year or two it will be why haven't you found a good person to give you kids yet I want grandchildren my brother stepped on the ps2 controller cables sending the ps2 flying off the shelf and smashing it all over the floor as punishment my dad whipped me across the back a few times and when I tried to run away he threw some rocks at me the whip marks stayed on my back for a few weeks my grandmother was a retired English teacher one day I called my brother stupid I was four also she filled me in on her rule that if I couldn't spell stupid but I called someone stupid then it was really me that was stupid thus I should never call someone a name that I couldn't spell so in my four-year-old head rather than avoid name-calling realize that I did know how to spell dumb so that word must be permitted so I spent the rest of the day overusing the word done and she wasn't quite sure what to do at that point mum gave me a black eye one night when I came home from a friend's birthday party at a skate rink she made me tell people that I fell down and got hit in the eye by one of the wheels on a skate I was 12 it was because I forgot to put away the dishes before I left she also regularly broke remote controls throwing them at me would slam my doors open so hard the doorknobs would smash through the drywall stole the allowance my granddad gave me no matter where I hid it and recently ripped a pair of my headphones out of my ears while I was using them and broke them by repeatedly whipping me in the face with them then followed it up by punching me a few times in the face the last instance was about four-five months ago I moved out and she regularly contacts me demanding money I really hope you aren't giving her money people who grew up with strict parents what was their most unreasonable rule not my parents but I had a friend who got it pretty bad if you want to play for one hour you have to also practice piano for one hour these and other such rules were posted on his bedroom door my mom was very strict about the ratings of movies and video games one year for Christmas a relative gave me a copy of Star Wars shadows of the Empire for the Nintendo 64 it was a t14 rated game and I wouldn't be turning 13 for another four weeks or my mom had my dad drive me to Toys R Us to return the game we walked into the store and over to the games and he had me pick out an E for Everyone rated game we proceeded to check out and as we went to the car he handed me not only the new game but the game we were supposed to have returned to buy it as well and told me not to let her catch me playing it that guy deserves a high five I was cooled at a friend's house at 11 p.m. at night because I left two t-shirts slung over the chair in my room versus hanging them in my closet I had to go back to my house and then I was grounded for a week upon getting home my mother had gone through my entire room and tossed every item out of my dresser she claimed they were messily put in the dresser fun stuff I wasn't allowed to say I died on Mario I lost one of my chances to succeed son your grandpa lost one of his chances to succeed I had a friend who wasn't allowed to say the word stupid and tried to report me to the teacher when I said it a teacher yelled at me and then told me it was okay in private and not to say to round that one kid nice guy though just had a helicopter mom my kids are allowed to say stupid but we always taught them that it was never okay using it referring to a person my eldest is 10 and when my youngest daughter heard her call something stupid she ran to tell on her elder sister my wife and I cracked up laughing when the little one couldn't understand why she hadn't gotten her sister in trouble my dad didn't believe in periods and when I cried that I needed feminine products gave me food stamps to buy them I was humiliated my parents were pretty slack on everything except one thing no video games console ever and no online games on the computer because at how you get virus and make the computer run slow so I was playing my morgue when they were sleeping in a hidden file in a file in another file in another file and I was changing the appearance of every file icon and this is how you reverse your child sleep schedule my mom's curfew was 7:00 p.m. and her brother's was 12 a.m. her brother was about two years younger than her and my granddaddy's logic was that girls get themselves into more trouble than boys my poor mother only ever attended church functions for fun until she graduated from high school my stepmom decided that I was using too much shampoo she would get a little medicine cup before my shower and pour the designated amount into it it wasn't ever enough because I had hair down to my butt I also wasn't allowed to use conditioner screw her I also wasn't allowed to use conditioner I got a paper route when I was 12 years old the very first thing I bought with my earnings was a giant bottle of conditioner I wasn't allowed to cross any streets until middle school thus my best friends were the ones who lived on the same block as me when I was in fifth grade I wrote some stuff in my diary about masturbating and like a month later my mom went through all my stuff she would randomly go in my room tear it apart I'd always get in trouble for something and then I'd have to clean up the mess and be grounded for whatever amount she felt like that day so anyway she found that diary entry she picks me up from school and won't talk to me I get home my door was removed from my room that diary entry was taped on the wall and I was threatened with a belt if I didn't answer all her invasive questions tripped up way to give a kid a complex about their sexuality mom hits me with kitchen utensils and yells that I am not allowed to put my hands up to defend myself from her strikes I was not allowed to watch Pokemon because it taught evolution had her my brother couldn't watch it because Pokemon equals pocket monster which is a sneaky word for demons I was am not allowed to do the following use the washing machine wash the dishes pull the weeds vacuum outside of my room I must ask to use the vacuum I can't cook a meal I can't have the remote I get instructed on how to use the microwave that I've been using for years and if I ask where we are going I get told out and I have to dress in jeans a shirt and running shoes no matter how hot because he doesn't like shorts and no jacket no matter how cold we could not listen to music with guitars in it I will never forget the day my brother was listening to Sabbath bloody Sabbath and my father took the radio and threw it through the window spent my childhood listening to Richard Marx and Michael Belton thanks dad currently on holiday in Japan up to message every out and update em on what I am doing create a script that sends the same 5 messages in a random order every hour we couldn't go sledding during the winter or any other season obviously because my mom was a neat freaking didn't once snow slogged into the garage so no snow playing of any kind really never built a snowman did go sledding when I was an adult it's pretty great all of our clothes in our closet had to be arranged by color descending an order by shade and so for example midnight blue at one end of the blue section and Tarheel blow at the other pink there was a system in place for colors too so if the yellows would buy the purples for example red be heck to pay in no shoes on in the house under any circumstances was super uncomfortable when my brother's friend who had prosthetic legs and always had shoes on came over and didn't take his shoes off mum got really mad and confronted him no legis or puzzles allowed as they make messes and look like disorder i frickin love puzzles as an adult one of my favorite hobbies 30 minutes of internet time a day and 99% of the time that was supervised as in mom looking over my shoulder and commenting on conversations we had webbed our IP and when they weren't home they would literally lock the keyboard in a toolbox my sis and I could never have friends stay over because the house is a mess no amount of cleaning satisfied mom because the real reason was she wanted to be able to fight with my dad at will for every minute I was late coming in from curfew I got grounded a week I once spent ten weeks grounded you to a sobriety checkpoint row for me it was every minute late as a minute earlier the next day mine is logical yours is insane I had to write essays on TV shows that I wanted to watch in order to have them unblocked by the parental controls I remember writing a riveting piece of the educational and cultural benefit of Disney's That's So Raven also I wasn't allowed to watch PG minus 13 movies even after turning 13 wasn't allowed to rest my head on my hand with my elbow on any table while there was also food on that table if my parents found out I was going too fast in my car small town so other parents would snitch on me pretty regularly for going ten over I had to pay my parents speeding tickets also they would make me pay for the whole family's phone bill if I texted a boy by the time I moved out at 17 I had given them well over a grand in punishment money earned at the sonic drive-in I was not allowed to talk to boys one Christmas Eve day I was doing last-minute shopping in the downtown of our little town I ran into two male friends from my German class and we talked for several minutes and wished each other a Merry Christmas oh I was 15 at the time my older sister drove by and saw me tailed my parents I was hanging out with boys when I walked in the house both my parents were waiting in the yelling began some Christmas Eve Snee Hayek Indian parents I could stare to sleep over until 2:00 a.m. but couldn't actually sleep at that person's house Lal I was from a large family and discipline was very strict if myself or one of my siblings broke one of the major rules my parents would hold a truth session all the children would be brought to my dad's study where the guilty party would be given an opportunity to confess if nobody came forward we would be hittin turn an order of ascending age the eldest four got hit with a sewer rod while in deference to their age the youngest ones would get a whack off a bamboo stick as sewer rod is basically a four foot long flexible rubber rod around an inch thick and with a metal cap it would leave the most remarkable welts horrendous things really anyway this would continue until someone admitted their guilt at that point they would receive the blows that everyone else had received to that point so that was awful I fully acknowledge that I'm under no illusions however that wasn't the actual unreasonableness know the unreasonable part was that the person who caused the truth session didn't always receive the accrued punishment out for having their siblings beaten sometimes they could just be let go making their siblings hate them for causing pain to them thread be no explanation the study door would be opened and we'd all be told to leave that meant you could be rewarded for holding out and avoiding the punishment you'd definitely get if you admitted it at the beginning my parents now tell fun stories about how when I was a child and I done something wrong I'd always begin with let me tell you my story how they taught to let my childish phrasing while I recall the terror that such an approach was meant to stave off have a friend who isn't allowed to go out if he's already had too much fun this weekend that's the only reason they think he'll become corrupted if he has too much fun and that he won't know how to work he's in college no sneezing or yawning b'w 1230 p.m. and 430 p.m. if true then we can safely assume your parents were mental females of the family must cook and clean on holidays while males watch TV must bus males plates every night no visiting friends houses no friends over at our household away through high school there cannot be cut at or above shoulder 7:00 p.m. bedtime not curfew bedtime through junior high strictly enforced needless to say I rebelled strong and hard there were a lot but the most ridiculous one to me was they didn't want me volunteering during high school I was visiting the elderly and they said it was too dangerous to be around stray just like that and the time was taking away from my studies most extracurriculars I wanted to do they had a huge problem with but it didn't hit me how absurd it was until it was about senior citizens the ironic thing is those things look great on college applications I wasn't allowed to shrug or say I don't know if anything tech related went wrong it was assumed that I broke it on purpose even if the only reason anyone knew it was broken is because I was trying to fix it birthday parties were a no-go Christmas was a no-go any party whatsoever was a no-go my father was very very strict I wasn't allowed to have alone time with my mother he beat the crap out of me constantly but the oddest thing that still bugs me to this day is that he would burn all my things as punishment and I get it seeing my toys and valuables burning sucks and I probably learned some lessons but he not only burned toys he would burn everything every year or so for school he would go to Meijer and buy me new school clothes and shoes he would also burn those like sometimes days after he bought them at eight years old I remember thinking you now have to buy me more clothes but that wasn't the point I suppose he once took me to the Palace of Auburn Hills in Detroit to see the Globetrotters one year on during the night he bought me a Globetrotters basketball and Jersey we had a fun night the very next day I had left something on the floor in my room and his punishment among other things was to burn the basketball and Jersey he bought for like 150 dollars less than 24 hours earlier it just never made sense to me my friends would joke about it all throughout middle and high school seriously one of the psychopathic answers on here sorry you had to live with that this blew my mind I was not allowed to wear makeup or shave until 16 my mom was controlling about food everything was kept track of I had to be in marching band in order to get my permit I had a job but even if I worked second shift which I did and came home at 11 I would have to clear the plates from the table for the dinner that they ate if I asked to hang out with a friend in the presence of said friend the answer was autumn no I was only allowed to do things if the friend or their parent was paying for it the straw that broke the camel's back and ultimately made me move out at 16 was that I had to live like a boarder showers cost five dollars a load of laundry was $1 for washer one dollar for dryer telephone time cost twenty-five dollars per minute no trends or passing fads Pokemon band Barbie's band beanie babies band PlayStation Gamma boys band anything particularly fashionable all popular regardless of actual merit was met with derision and we be mocked for even suggesting interest we were achingly frumpy kids with interests and cultural references or lack thereof that isolated astronaut appears and they wondered why each others were bullied pretty sure the verdict is in on Barbie and PlayStation they aren't fads my parents were slack my best friend's parents were so strict she would escape to my house for freedom 12th grade prom her parents allowed her to go to prom Bert said she wasn't allowed to dance we all went to prom had fun dancing until she saw her parents standing at the back watching she then moved out for university after her first year she came home to work for the summer she had been on her own for a year and supporting herself and her parents gave her a 9:00 p.m. curfew she spent a lot of time at my house that summer she was married by the next summer and didn't have to deal with it individuality was almost a cardinal sin in my parents house you wear what they like you eat what they like you do what they like you do not under any circumstances act like a human being with hopes dreams and opinions no dating till marriage my mom was insanely controlling about food weird rules were in place like one slice of lunch meat per sandwich no one butter was allowed to cook she'd make one giant batch of spaghetti or something and we'd have leftovers for days so she only had to make dinner twice a week she did not work or anything just didn't like cooking every day breakfast was cold cereal and you'd only be allowed a small Bell with just enough milk to moisten it occasionally she'd baked something she called corn toasties which was simply cornbread baked in a sheet pan she cut them into squares and fill the freezer with them and we could have one of those for breakfast as an alternative once when I was 14 I bought a pack of hot dogs at the store snuck them home and lift the grill I was almost done cooking them when she came out screaming about fire hazards and swatted the plate out of my hand she had been making spaghetti what an ungrateful little bastard I was so then she orders a pizza for the rest of my family wraps individual servings of spaghetti and freezer paper and puts them away she tells me that I will be eating nothing else until it's all gone took about two months to choke it all down went without eating a lot of days I was also grounded for over a year but I sure learned a lot about consequences what zero tolerance school stories do you have my sister almost got suspended in the third grade cause my mom put a plastic butter knife in her lunch one day I forget why she needed it for her lunch one of the lunchroom aides spotted her using it and sent her right to the principal's office and they called my mom to come in a third grader stabs an adult with a plastic knife knife breaks adult looks at them confused this was 10 years ago my cousin one grade lower than me got into a fight at school zero tolerance policy says they are both suspended attached to this policy as if a student is involved in three separate fights within their time at the high school and they were expelled within two weeks of my cousin returning one of the guys friends started a fight with my cousin they are both suspended a few weeks after he returns again another friend of the original kid starts a fight with my cousin in each situation the other kids threw the first punch zero tolerance each time means it didn't matter that is how children outsmarted the zero tolerance policy and why my cousin graduated from a private high school that's really smart of them and really flicked up frick zero tolerance when I was in year 10 grade 9 for Americans we all had to line up to go into the dinner hall for whatever reason they put the menu with what they were serving that day at the front of the queue so I walked to the front to read it as I was walking back a tiny year age kid grade seven shouted over to me he stopped trying to cut in the line you dong head I just told him to freak off and mind his own business as it's the kind of school where if it looks like you're giving in to a younger kid without fighting your corner you won't hear the end of it then the little crap rugby tackled me but he was too small to knock me over so I just kind of stood there awkwardly as he tried to kick me after a while I'd had enough so I grabbed him and picked him up put him against the wall where he was standing before in turn to walk off the headmaster was standing right in front of me and he'd been watching the whole thing we both got sent to the reflection room which is like a higher form of detention the only time I got in trouble was for trying to walk away from a fight started by someone half my size who I probably could have hurt if I had wanted to thanks headmaster now I know in the future that I should just deck the little bastard instead of being gentle because the punishment is going to be the same anyway in ninth grade I was in a class that had some disruptive students that always caused problems for the teacher but during the semester they were forced to sit at the desks nearest the teacher's desk I wasn't a bad student at all but for some reason I was forced to sit in the front of them I was pee one day we had a substitute and my entire row gave the souther very hard time when the actual teacher came back she forced everyone in my room to detention men at other students protested for me even the bad students in my row she said that's too bad from that day forward I helped the bad students to not get caught whenever they flicked with her good for you man I always like to mess with teachers if they were unfair to their students not me [ __ ] my niece once had to do a school project about the Voyageurs we lived in a relevant area in the computer lab so she innocently typed in fur traders caramel net whatever of course it was pea she got suspended we had to do a project on pirates for grade 12 history could not get research done due to piracy coming up on the school filter left her BB gun in my friend's car in high school security saw it and he got kicked out I talked to the principal who was our friend and mentor about reversing the decision or taking the punishment myself he was just as upset as me but he kept explaining that his hands were tied he finally just looked me in the eye and said zero tolerance actually he used my name afterward so I knew the conversation was over my friend graduated from an alternative school that's flicked up I once got suspended because a security guard found an unloaded airsoft pistol in the back of my truck but let me be clear by pistol I mean those ones made of clear plastic and by back of my truck I mean behind the passenger seat of a crew cab with tinted rear windows this security guard is really doing his job a mockingly suburban High School's safe for everyone also I had a friend who got suspended for bringing a metal butter knife to school with his lunch a knife is a knife people there can be no tolerance for weapons or logic and reasoning two people got suspended for fighting off school property with each other also not my school at a local school and it made the news a girl with Down syndrome or an intellectual disability said a popular athlete molested assaulted her in the library and they made the girl write an apology letter to him only to find out later he did do it many times they made the girl write an apology letter to him that is so sad I hope she eventually got justice when I was in 10th grade I was eating dinner with my family and my dad accidentally spills his beer all over my shirt no big deal so I go upstairs and take my shirt off for the night the next day while I'm getting dressed I see that I'm out of clean shirts to wear so without thinking I grabbed the shirt from last night and put it on eat breakfast and get out the door the day was pretty normal until I was called up to the front office I wasn't really a bad kid or anything so I wasn't too worried once I arrived the principal informed me that another student told him that I smelled like beer and assumed that I had been drinking I told the principal about what and last night and assured him that I had not been drinking he tells me that it still counts as bringing alcohol onto school grounds and for that I was suspended we have a zero tolerance no fighting rule in our gymnasium like even if you lay down on your back while you're getting jumped you'll still get expelled happened to get into a fight with a guy I honestly could easily beat down but since I really don't want any trouble with the school or at home I just blocked my head until the principal came by after a minute of discussion he told me that I'd get suspended for a two weeks even when I told him that I didn't hit back so I did what any teenager would have done I think I got loose from the principal and beat the other guy down and took my punishment if you're gonna do the time you might as well do the crime my school had a zero-tolerance policy on cell phones and electronic items obviously you can't convince a high schooler to not bring a phone with him/her so the administrators would do raids occasionally and busts and phones each time they didn't give it back until the end of the year I don't think that is really legal for them to keep your cell phone for the rest of the year in high school I got suspended for one week because I had a bottle of prescription painkillers in my locker I was taking them because I got a serious knee injury while playing for the school baseball team I also got kicked off the team and wasn't allowed to participate in any sports at school for the last 2.5 years of my high school education the principal explained to me that they had a zero-tolerance policy to drugs of any kind worst part is I could have went to at least 10 different lockers in school and shown him drugs in there but he wouldn't let me because I shouldn't be snitching on my peers screw you principal vikas I mean usually you're supposed to give the nurse your meds but I'm still on your side they went overboard I went to a very very very crappy school district I mean this place is scum in soo many ways my little brother has a D D and mild autism he's a very nice kid and always has been I mean he opens doors for everyone and compliments people he doesn't even know anyways there was a kid in his grade who was the biggest butthole he was mean to everyone even the poor kids who will his friends he always picked on my brother and his friends calling them [ __ ] and everything else one day we get a Code Red everyone is stuck in their classrooms and there had been a recent trend in girls fighting in the bathroom so everyone assumed that was what was going on number I wish it had been a girl fight I get called down to the office about an hour later my brother and his best friend were walking to class they were at the top of one of the stairwells when gut hole Macbeth furred came up behind them and shoved my brother down the stairs as hard as he could my brother tried to grab onto the brick wall to stop himself from falling and ended up dragging his hand down the bricks ripping his hand apart he still has the scar he hit his face on the tile at the bottom after doing several head over heels rolls down the stairs his nose and lip were bleeding and his back was half so badly thought he had broken it he ended up going to the emergency room fast forward a week later he's back in school and the principal calls him to her office this be I don't know how this be was ever allowed to work in a school she made my brother shake hands with butthole and make up she said the alternative was both of them getting suspended because she did not believe my brother did nothing to provoke him from pushing him down the stairs despite two witnesses telling her what happened my brother has been bitter over that ever since also when my mom found out he had to shake Bart olmec but that's and she went to the school and confronted the principal the principal told my mom well maybe if your son wasn't annoying it wouldn't have happened my mom pulled her across the desk and a secretary had to call her fault her I like your mom there wasn't really a zero tolerance thing back then but school was over I was starting my walk home and a friend runs by and drops his bag by me and yells to me to carry it we were going to play hockey after school so whatever nothing of circumstance came on it I never heard where he was even running to next day teacher is all POF I go in to see the principal and turns out my friend was trying to pick a fight mind you apparently all he ever did was run after someone but never even got close to them not even the same block there was no fight this also happened all outside of the school so naturally my friend was suspended for a week and remaining days in that week and because I carried his bag I was an accomplice in the fight which never happened I was suspended for the remaining days in that week there was like two three day vacation for me that I was happy to take it was all crappy rainy days but I was happy to leave so you got punished for a fight that never happened that you didn't know about not quite zero tolerance but my friend's sister grew up in quite a foul-mouthed household with older siblings her first word s were son of a B blurted out emphatically for no apparent reason at the breakfast table and when she was quite young first grade some boy pushed her on the playground she called him a boob he broke down and cried told a teacher she had to eat lunch on the psychologists office the rest of the year because she was a danger to the other students or something and her mother had to come in mother told them that if they thought that was the most pressing issue they had she thought they should look harder didn't go to the meeting she's a badass in general the boob got in no trouble for pushing her because he told on her first she could have easily beating the crap out of him Simon Britain where zero tolerance isn't really a thing I think the closest thing we got to zero tolerance where when teachers would hold an entire class back in detention including the ones who were not disruptive and were doing the work it seriously peed me off when I was a school it happened mostly during year 7 8 & 9 I'd have been 11 when I started year 7 which is the first year of secondary school in Britain teachers at my school did it because it was to punish the disruptive students they wanted the innocent to blame the guilty and ostracize them so they wouldn't do it again I know a girl who got suspended for having cough drops in the backseat of her car I don't have a story but I was blamed for a fight that happened on a weekend that wasn't even off school grounds this kid who doesn't even go to my school who has a name really similar to mine got in a fight with some kid at my school so naturally they thought it was me thankfully a couple days earlier my friend told me about said fight so I was able to provide background information to get myself out of blame but they took me to a frigging room with the school cop and some other people and they were treating this like a massive deal it's a fight that happened on the weekend at a scatter Park and one of the kids doesn't even go to the same school why are you meddling in on their business my school had to zero had policy because of gangs I got suspended for wearing a Coonskin hat I guess I was representing the Davy Crockett gang everyone knows the Crockett's run the east side of this city bully punches kid in the face kid doesn't fight back because he knows he'll get suspended for fighting kid lets the bully hit him until a teacher gets there teacher gets there and gives a detention to the bully and the bullied my step-brother and his friends all got suspended for pretending to have lightsabers at recess no not plastic ones literally their imagination WTF a boy bullied me for almost an entire year called me fat the kind of thing by said if he kept talking to me I was going to kill him I got in-school suspension for two days he got a talk from the guidance counselor about how you shouldn't bully girls you have a crush on chewing gum rather looking like I was chewing gum because my jaw was sore from having rubber bands on my braces ended up in an isolation room for the rest of the day and then got suspended for a week looking back now I realize how stupid most great school suspensions are because it doesn't really teach you anything other than the fact that you get vacation for looking like you're breaking a silly rule you've been spotted by the dojo of studying like this video for good grades for the next two years if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check out another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 186,792

Rating: 4.7839394 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, rules, rules compilation, 1 hour, reddit 1 hour, craziest rule, craziest rules, insane rules, crazy rules

Id: ZS2df-yOChc

Length: 70min 5sec (4205 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 15 2020