"Wild & Crazy Guy" Steve Martin Drops By And Orders Dinner on Carson Tonight Show

[Applause] want to mention since this is friday monday night i hope most of you know we will be doing our anniversary show celebrating the beginning of the 19th year [Applause] and we will be on at 9 00 on monday night um in most parts of the country eight to ten in the midwest of course and nine to 11 out here and on the east coast and we got got some surprises for you one of the things we're going to repeat we just did this week but we had so many calls about it already today we're going to put it the anniversary we did a little thing on shogun last night i don't know whether you saw it but we're going to uh we're going to play that we've got we have our final solution to the presidential debates we will show you and a lot of clips a lot of stuff from the last year a few of the things you we have shown before but a lot of new things and some of the people featured in the clips will be lonnie anderson mel brooks rodney dangerfield barry manilow steve martin bette midler don rickles from a scene we did what year was the japanese bath 12 years about 13 years ago we had a japanese bath ceremony and rickles got hit and rickles got his that night joan rivers and david steinberg so i hope you will be with us monday night there is also another special one-hour show coming up on nbc this tuesday at 10 pm uh did i say bmw i didn't mean to ten that's what uh dr london smith used to discuss that's right that's the baby doctor uh it should be a crazy show because it's it's based uh all on commercials which haunt most of us during our daily life and it's going to be hosted then the star of the show of course is uh what can i say about this man wild crazy guy steve martin [Music] uh i know you want to be like me a love god the kind of guy women love to be with on a date because i am so suave whenever i go to pick them up at their door i always take their hand and shove it right down my pants [Applause] then i cinch up my belt real tight and i jump around like crazy and it's a good idea to always have something nice to say to her parents like well mrs johnson i see where lucy gets her breasts [Applause] and i see where they're going to end up you know the love god is so famous that when i came here to l.a a friend of mine came to me and said you can have any kind of girl you want so i chose brown hair long legs and really horny and i got what i wanted a moose [Applause] now i'm going to share with you guys the most important thing you'll ever know about women what to say to her husband in case he catches you in bed with his wife what i always do i leap out of bed look him straight in the eye and say that will teach you to send in your census form late and here's a good alternate maybe you can help me i was looking for my boat and one that always works is well she checks out fine next time just bring her down to the shop [Music] i'm okay and now i'm going to teach you something that all men would like to know the techniques i use to pick up women at the swinging singles bars so here we go [Music] thank you miss [Applause] that's a crazy guy well pardon me miss but you do things to me that i can't do to myself okay let's try one other way you know i love tomatoes and you have a couple say what say we go back to my place so i can get into something comfortable like your clothes i think they would look good on me well [Applause] don't go crazy well by now most of you women in the audience are saying to yourselves how can i meet this fancy pants love guy well you can't but the next time you're making love with your man close your eyes and think of me because somewhere i will be thinking of me too [Applause] oh boy [Applause] that's one of them okay hey hey now a show business you get so hungry after a monologue where you work hard yeah it's hard you come out here and you're sweating people don't realize plus that's kind of a menu please thank you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] i think i'll just have a salad and a hamburger some rope on the salad i guess thank you anyway um so i have you know i realize that every time i come on the show i'm always promoting something and uh you know i i just wanted to come out tonight and not really mention i'm not going to mention it i mean just want to do monologue and just to be here the only thing i am going to do is i'm going to do the today show on tuesday and then the david letterman showing that's it and that's that's about it and the only thing i will be talking about on those shows is my special which will [Music] it'll be on tuesday night at 10 o'clock but you know it's funny doing a special because you get a lot of you meet a lot of new people you're constantly working with with new people and new directors and we had to put together a cast and crew you know and we had to actually choose people and we made some i think very very important selections of new talent and things and that's i'm real happy and the premise of the show as you know is called all commercials and the reason that that came about you know one time i um i asked people what they liked about my last specials thank you but they liked about my last bag and they said we really like the commercials best so um you know that's why i'm gonna eat before it gets cold anyway shall we show a film clip of your special coming up that you didn't want to talk about or do you want to do that now or what okay now well i have to set this up a little bit yeah this is uh this is the a spot in the show the we give awards smells really good the best local commercial so this is the best local commercial from edgarton minnesota won the won the award won the award for the best local commercial okay let's see the best local commercial from where was it from edgarton minnesota this is our head mechanic jose jose is hooking me up to this lie detector machine at my request why am i doing this so i can prove to you people once and for all here at crystal brothers used cars we know what we sell if i lie one tiny bit you'll hear it it's on mr grissom good hi i'm al crazy okay i was live my name is emmett christal i change it for the business but we're here at crucial used cars aren't lines we aren't getting we're telling the truth when we say we have used cars in a1 condition a2 a3 we have used cars this is my wife my girlfriend a woman i know and our son odds are he's my son but isn't she beautiful i was drunk here at cresal brothers used cars we have easy credit turns well they're a little tricky but remember we guarantee every car every other car we guarantee we won't guarantee any car griezo brothers is a name you can count on rely on pronounce very funny thank you i know it's really great as we got a lot of new people on the show the fact that you know when you redesigned the set and everything and made it into a restaurant it's so fabulous and have a nice view it's kind of like you know because you know you're on people don't know us but we taped the show at 5 the 30. right now it's right at dinner time right you know i've never thought so this is good for me i actually get hungry okay we're going to do a little commercial ourselves here this will be funny too [Applause] you

Channel: Johnny Carson

Views: 354,379

Rating: 4.8075566 out of 5

Keywords: Steve Martin

Id: N9MUQuX21pQ

Length: 12min 1sec (721 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 02 2020