Rodney Dangerfield Almost Makes Carson Fall Out of His Chair Laughing

launce to perform because he he loves audiences and even at his own club the New York called Dangerfield strangely enough he still doesn't get any respect but you'll be working at the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas for six weeks starting February the 17th Rodney Dangerfield [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] what a fun turn I'd say I'd say I'm I'm alright now last week does in rough shape though you know my wife's father he moved in with her says electronic pacemaker every time he sneezed the garage door opens I saw my dentist too last week another Beauty I said to um doc look at my teeth oh I'll get in yellow he told me to wear a brown necktie I'll tell you Alaska's a rough week for me I broke up my psychiatrist who he told me I'm going crazy I said to her if you don't mind like a second opinion he said all right you're ugly too then he taught me to lay in a couch facedown now I tell you on Halloween that's what I know I'm ugly I open a front door kids give me candy and girls they don't like my looks either well the other day a girl was driving the one-way street I got out one way she'll back no way I don't know I tell you I tell you since I'm a kid nobody wants to be around you know I mean the time I asked my old man how can I get my kite in the air he told me to run off a cliff he did a lot of things my old man well once of my birthday he gave me a dart board with automatic returned my mother - she never breastfed me she told me she liked me as a friend [Music] I'll tell you since I'm a kid I've got no respect from anyone well last week I donated blood the family thanked me for saving that dog's life and my wife she's no better than arrested him I told them when I die I want to be cremated she's planning a barbecue with my wife I got no sex life either outside my bedroom window and I caught a peeping tom sleeping well a sex life well my dog he's watching me in a bedroom went alone had a beg yeah my dog that's another one he taught my wife to roll over and play dead I'll tell you my life when she makes love to me there's always a reason for it now one night she used me to time an egg well I'll tell you something else too I don't like the nickname she gave me either microwave [Music] [Applause] [Music] you're looking wonderful thank you very much Johnny you look kind of cute yourself yeah very nice yeah how you doing all right there's a warm in here what's me you know the pressure the pressure she's over there I'll do commercial you be chance to cool off a little bit what everybody be like okay I mean it's not my ballgame well dude every turn them right after this sure you look you look relaxed now well I'm okay I'm fine thanks very much it's always like this relaxes me being out here telling pornea nice people you know in California is a pretty country well I like big mountains they got big trees you know it's lovely yeah you know I love trees you know sometimes I spend the whole day just looking for a piece of oak and a hunk of ash you know that no I mean a New Yorkers not many trees not many trees well rather than your only one tree in my block no and two guys living it I'm telling you you know a rough neighbors are very bad never you kiddin my neighborhood forget about kinds of people yeah but this last week I got rotated my tires so my car is my name is always problems oh you kidding my block is a beautiful children's zoo you know last week for kids escape always no but I'll tell your kids are bad today giant bear they're bad today yeah yeah they're my kids sing my kid too full of smart answers you know well the other day I said - I said you're young you don't have it upstairs he told me I was old I don't have a downstairs now I mean people can drive you nuts Johnny no but you have another one into a place I asked the bartender for a double he brought out some guy who looked like me you gotta relax that's the hope that's right I can't relax for the last four whole probably you kidding my friend of dr. dr. Billy boom box fine doing fine he's glad you brought it up Jim he's doing fine you know finally we like he's busy busy knows new book just came out know all about hamburgers hamburgers the books entitled she was in love with a quarter pounder until she tried the whopper it's good job your doctor writes a lot of phony yeah how about hamburgers just to read would well I'll tell you Johnny I count my blessings I count my blessings I mean you know I'm doing okay today show business that was broke fees you know ever having money I couldn't buy enough nice go to orgies to eat the grape so you kid my heart never got a break with anything you kiddin but me nothing comes easy nothing well that suit my gay uncle died left me always dresses okay that break with nothing hasn't been a good year at it I never had any luck with girls either you kidding never had it but if I was 16 years old I had sex once and VD twice when I was a kid I never got girls know your name my friends didn't know though I fooled them I just go to drive-in movies alone and do push-ups in the backseat of my car I mean I got a girl here and there but nothing yeah well one time I took out a real fat girl who was she fed me she was so fat amend during sex guys there's directions you know me how does no guy loose some weight myself it's awful that's the whole thing they look thin look thin you know hang out with fat people it's the only way it's healthy thin and health that's what's health we didn't become the healthier right help support them I'm at the age now I tell you I'm envious of a stiff wind you know I'm really a very but more the pressure never likely to ranch very the prom sorry come on it's like a heaviness on top of each other so it's always there this heaviness always running taught me you know other guys get up for the morning there are new day up and Adam I wake up the heaviness is waiting for me nice yeah sometimes I even talked to it I say hi happiness and heaviness looks back at me today you're gonna get it good you'll be drinking early today not I want to drink as am i bad drink about tell you that Johnny when I drink the next day go to do two things that are try and locate my car and I got to bring back the car right [Laughter] bring on the next guy [Applause] you come to the end of the conversation you come to the end of the conversation on the street lot of guys taper off Rodney doesn't fool around bring out the nice guy you're a funny man thank you very much well do this we'll be right back [Applause]

Channel: Johnny Carson

Views: 4,386,691

Rating: 4.8268418 out of 5

Keywords: Rodney Dangerfield_01.31.78

Id: 3wRVVGQTp_I

Length: 9min 1sec (541 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 07 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/Dotpboy]

That’s was awesome. Thanks for sharing

[u/Possible_Ad8220]

Rodney Dangerfield pretty much WROTE those jokes.

[u/Uberhipster]

I have Rodney Dangerfield moods

When I’m in that mood I laugh like Johnny Carson till I have tears in my eyes

Today I am not in one of those moods and on days like today I wonder what is the matter with me that I can’t laugh at Rodney Dangerfield