Rodney Dangerfield Has Dom DeLuise Rolling On the Floor Laughing (1974)

what a crowd what a crowd God tell you more right now to Siffin as a rough shape well you know a my wife she started in again you know she keeps throwing up to me I went to Las Vegas went broke playing the slot machine well Vegas second slot machines all in supermarkets I went into my container milk must be $238 well Taylor truth I had trouble up my wife before we got married you know we went together for six months since she gave me the air coming was all over I said - what's the matter somebody else she looked at me she said there must be okay with my wife I never got no respect no respect at all you know we were going steady she told me don't talk about sex until we get married we got married shit homey now you can talk about it all your I married 20 is all I get his smart answers and bad cooking my wife's cooking forget about her cooking but you ever had a leftover hamburger she use it to scrub the sink are you had to come and get it my house is try and eat it front with me is I'm too easy go like the scent through had a bite to eat in a restaurant I got busy how to share a table with somebody sat on an old man what's been in his 80s I mean this guy was old I asked her Pass me the salt and pepper you had to make two trips I never get lucky in restaurants I had dinner last night in a Chinese restaurant I wrote my fortune cookie it was a guy's check next to me I said hey buddy I got your check he said thanks selim it is wise guys I was gonna take a little vacation put some guy works and travel agency told me to spend six nights in Puerto Rico no days just six nights of one arena I said to all I do myself Bay says you can do whatever you want just keep out of Puerto Rico [Laughter] [Music] that would mean nothing works out you know my neighborhoods getting worse I told you before living a tough neighborhood you know just last week a guy pulled a knife on me I could see it wasn't a real professional job there was butter on it I terrorized if you can't protect yourself but one day was a knock at my front door I think I play it safe out in the people a diary sent in grid [Laughter] I'll tell you my building nothing went wrong every time I close a window I hit somebody's head robberies over there what do you know I took the wife and kids out I think I play it safe left the lights on the apartment if the radio wanted the note in the front don't note that I'm inside came home that night I still gotta Rob the guy that the zone note he said I looked all over for you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] every time you close the windows you heard something happen to my building job and I wouldn't lie to you know nah nicely gonna make the trip out here my pleasure John is over here so it's been a wonderful wonderful people full of love here in California really I had a cab driver just full of love you know yeah really this guy kept talking and talking he was so happy told me all the people he had in this cab you know and then he described in detail how he had them render saying I didn't know that it's another one I should have drawn it up you gotta take em out of town you just try to write a sexy cab driver typically see myself lately you know whether whatever is how do you be person like that but remember I can happen anybody getting sexy yeah yeah and when I less forgot try some new let see but if that group sex group you know I have a new problem I don't know who to thank and he was the you know he was the butler but I know but sex of powerful yes it is no where'd you get a little owner you think it diminishes a guy meets a girl he's not you if you liked your guy takes your idol take her out a few times spend all kinds of money on a task of all kinds of questions you know that's what I thought was lucky you know I thought is smart and with doggies are the dog you not to go through all that you start with one smelled she's for me that's it you know I love dog you lap dog I didn't know that [Applause] some great dog gets written all guys Johnny with Carmine's canines great I can show you know how tough showbiz very tough show business hopefully sometimes I think back of all the women I had to sleep with they get where I got and you know that you know as a kid in showbiz I never got no yeah never I was a kid me showbiz I my big score was Baltimore 1949 a chubby waitress would acne I remember her very well I got lucky one night yeah yeah girl is always getting your hearts I'd never got lucky with girls in fact just last night a hooker made me say please [Laughter] gonna tell you Johnny I can't my dressing-gown long as you have your help you gotta count your blessings oh thank heaven I'm doing okay today and I had a tough years you know though I paid a lot of dues Johnny work a lot of tough joints you know finds those Nakhla remember oh he was tough funds Oh was he tough Oh Hans oh he's the first one he started acupuncture no yeah what a nice I had a toughy is your here huh everybody has it tough I guess everybody has problems some of the guy last week with a problem a boy this guy told me he he hasn't affair with a girl three months ago two guys going nuts you know what the Duke yeah he told me what happened you're gonna think young hobbies interests you if you think young right I try to think your normal time yeah I mean always do that cigarette certainly so I got a crazy dog there told me to keep smoking I want to stop chewing gum sort of like this is that the same doctor you dr. Vindi boombots anyone I got into astrology late they got have no interest or astrology is very unique girl just ravages Carla here let's crowd you what sign do you want do you know that they the girls I meet the role born up at the same time wrong with that for rent [Applause] what's that what I get healthy B'Tselem job and you get healthy companies talking the commercials the public service commercial to go all kinds of tips how to take care of yourself you know they're very very good I saw one less you could commercial a public service when she was beauty you don't yeah guy came out he said hi my name is Bob's my wife and my daughter Suzy my son Bob jr. right in front here's my mom and dad now we've all had VD [Laughter] [Applause] got to take care huh that's the whole thing to help you oh and you got to get the brakes you're great you're important along was gonna break break sure brakes are probably just as important as good health ya got the brakes never mind the kid never got the brakes I was eight years old a Halloween once we're all made he dressed me up he suddenly out as a pipe pipe you know yeah and two hours every right the neighborhood was following me Johnny a lot of pressure don't cater to other question how things going to [Applause] vacation now I'm not the Jew I'm on vacation I mean the reason I max who do you have in there now you're gone you have some big actual quarters cleaning up like pressure like a heaviness it's always on top of you and it's always there well the guys wake up but I'm wanting our new day up and Adam I wake up the pressures pressure the heaviness is waiting for me nice decadence sometimes I've been talked to it I'd say hi and the heaviness looks back I'd be today you're gonna get it good we'll be drinking early and I can't drink I'm Abed Abed drinking no idea what a beer drinker I am honey but I drink I don't know what I'm doing I'm mixing up that you're going out for dinner the other night had a few drinks were then the waiter came over I would have roast beef on the rocks I talked about born I got a picture I want to show you but memories of memories of actually my father was involved though you know it really really was yes he was in vaudeville two years and I have a picture yeah I thought maybe I'd make it a kick off it if you pick him 60 years ago in San Francisco and my father he was 20 years old and in this picture Charlie Chaplin was 23 years old my father would sharpen a lot stroke in the mind yeah yeah that's right maybe folks like to see my old man with Chaplin over there I don't see anything I had my days with a camera known each apples with the de beber 23 well he was 23 60 years ago San Francisco at position yeah I could tell a lot of stories about vaudeville you want to see one of your own [Applause] and let me pick you somebody dug out one of your early publicity pictures remember these these phony pictures they would they would take take a look at this look at the monitor look at the monitor picture Tate it happened I went I took the picture straight I didn't like it yeah um II got props so I got props and then a nice little bits of this dog you know I feel like the different ways people would spank their kids like a barber hitting this kid you man we'll be right back after one of these before [Music] you you

Channel: Rodney Dangerfield

Views: 1,939,076

Rating: 4.8365612 out of 5

Keywords: Rodney Dangerfield, Dom DeLuise, The Tonight Show, stand-up comedy, stand-up, jokes, one liners, lol, laughing, comedy, no respect

Id: ms8nkQ38A7g

Length: 12min 10sec (730 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 23 2020