Why You Gotta Love the 99 | Brooklyn Nine-Nine

there's a confused old woman here who wants to talk to a detective come on another drill so we're just doing one of these every day oh you got it I know you got it I want my money take take take take why are we doing this I'll get back to you guys by the end of the day with all the logistics Sergeant Terry Jeffords four years ago on the you told me I was I always do the worm I've had on that day to prove you a fool and today I shall [Music] as I was telling the squad our old CEO Captain McGinley just passed away oh no we're going to Los Angeles for the funeral next week I'll have to travel details later hey has anyone seen a worm because of Judy you ever seen him before no Rosa [Music] I think he's into me hey you guys see the dude I brought in today the drug dealer 81 years old I think it's the oldest collar of my entire career I once arrested a 96 year old for flashing I was terrified he'd die in my backseat or Flash me my oldest collar was 78 but the PCP made a fight like she was 20. what about 250 year old twins does that count as 100 year old no good no you talking all this bags 68. that's not that old yeah but I was only 20. 20. were you even a cop then no man it was before I got into the academy Charles isn't talking about his oldest arrest 68 like I said God you had sex with a 68 year old when you were in your 20s you know how it is when you have a chance to bed an older woman no that is not an older woman that's an old woman that's someone's grandma she was actually that's how I met her grandson Marvin don't knock it to you she had a replacement hip with some serious torque it's like having sex with a Transformer that is no one's fantasy so I believe the kitty good teamwork is an equal exchange of ideas stop I know you already have a plan and I want to win so for the next eight hours I'm down with all your nerdy crap come on Amy show me the binder but it's not a binder it's a virtual binder and it's encrypted on this flash drive that's my girl now where's the 3D model of the precinct inside the keychain it's a it's Akin hologram yes according to organized crime Murphy has gone to ground and there are no leads oh that's great if he's on the Run he probably won't be worrying about Kevin and if you coach yourself in chum and swim with sharks you probably won't be eaten said they have eaten Chum covered swimmer while Murphy is at large he's still a thread so I'm going to be stuck here forever following these over-the-top security precautions no thank God the security procedures are about to become much more over the top say goodbye to your one hour of open window time but sir the stench it needs some way to escape I already feel as though I'm trapped inside of what are those things we're always eating pizza Bagels no pizza rolls no pizza poppers no pizzerios pizza pockets that's it how much longer will we be first to live inside this pizza pocket look I could tell you that it'll just be a few more weeks but you don't want me to lie to you Raymond I beg of you give me two hours at the library to work on my book just two hours it will make all the difference yeah I could go with them keep him safe their Library Sheamus's men could be lurking in the stacks I find that unlikely I understand but I disagree well then we are in disagreement you'll have to excuse me I'm sorry you got the witness such a vicious fight oh was that a fight you're kidding he said you'll have to excuse me instead of please excuse me might as well spit my face couch space heater we sound proof for maximum privacy and there's sodas and candy in the mini fridge this room's a little small we had a big nap room and you gave it to Gina to pump breast milk in remember sorry Scully did you tell anyone about this place I will burn your life to the ground and there's a spray if you fart hello Muriel Another Day in Paradise she actually means that please don't be offended great what do you want to apply for a block party permit here is form 1290. oh wait you're trying to get a permit for this Friday you would need 1290b expedited request and a 1021j adjustment waiver and a sweet sweet p28p supplemental right there's just one problem what no I did absolutely everything the 1021j has to be submitted with an approved 1290. but I'm submitting the 1021j to get the 1290 approved that doesn't make any sense I guess it doesn't okay okay this is just a puzzle and I can figure it out to get an approved 1290 I need an approved 1021 J which I can't get without an approved 1290 which I can't get without an approved 1021 J which I can't get without an approved 1290 which I can't get without an approved 1021 J which I can't get without an approved 1290 which I can't get without an approved 1021 J which I can't get with that she's in a loop you broke her brain I'm gonna take a ride with everyone Jay which I can't get without an approved 1290 which I can't get okay partner let's bang this out should we grab a cup of coffee bounce some theories off each other I solved it already oh then should we grab a cup of coffee you could tell me what you found out oh we can do it here the fires were set by Richard Wilcox a firefighter who was first on the scene at all Three Fires okay uh now it's had to work backwards figure out why he's up for a promotion and want it to look like a hero yep but how are we gonna find this bastard after all these years he owns a store I have the address okay Drive no you don't know where we're going but if you'd like a cup of coffee there's an old Bakery in that neighborhood the coffee there is terrible but I would enjoy the Nostalgia Richard Wilcox said something good Punk he's 86 years old you don't outgrow Punk sir [Applause] they found him guilty on all charges was advice for advice work so where is your happy place I'm in a cabin in the middle of nowhere inside it's just me and that's stupid slimy defense attorney and I'm eating the hell out of him I break a dining room table over his head then I rip off his arm and shove it where the sun don't shine then I reached on his throat and shake his hand yeah okay I'm gonna go ahead and schedule you for a psyche valve but also the higher your rank the more control over your hours plenty of people have jobs and kids Jake and they find a way this has become more about your employment status as your supervisor I feel I have a conflict of interest and should abstain from judging okay so do we both get a point no Kevin has been on the phone all this time he's also a licensed and debate moderator license number James five five nine this means nothing to me each is in hotels fine you want to know why I really don't want to have children I had a crappy dad I know what happens when you mess up as a parent it's not great and this may come as a shock to you but I kind of have some dad issues with certain people yeah but not just him it's every male authority figure for my entire life Hey Jake can you move Legend to the fall from new releases into drama you got it dad Craig was only six weeks older than me since this has become about me I'm gonna have to abstain from this round as well but Kevin is still standing by actually oh my God you guys know Gail who's Gail vice president this is a very big deal no no more credentials please I don't want to have a structured debate it's an idiotic way to decide something what seriously insane Raymond Kevin okay look oh how good is this food I'm eating it I accidentally put a stone no no no no no that's the hoof that's the best part of the stew oh man think of it as marrow nugget wrapped in a thick toenail my darlings thank God I found you oh look at those beautiful cheeks I have no idea who this lady is I've never seen her before in my life what no she recognized you this is Helen this is Helen oh this my husband's Solomon I'm I'm not really her husband you're so much shorter than you used to be what did the Japanese do to you different generation okay this is Ethel musterberg from the Prospect Heights senior center there was an ID card in her back pocket why was your hand in her back pocket well she told me she didn't have any ID and I'm like Boyle my first instinct was not to caress her butt frisked I frisked her butt that means whatever ruined his mood happened in those three hours we have to retrace his steps we I'm not going to investigate my own husband totally well that was a great Chit Chat don't you think Gina seemed like it went real bad for you chat oh you know Kevin maybe if we figure out what caused Raymond's bad mood we could fix it good idea do you know I suppose we could look into it yes great let's go right now no time to lose don't look just run you're trying to get me out of here before I see the orange soda you spilled in the chair aren't you I'm already out the door at work I got aroused last night watching a nature documentary on bees I was fine until they went inside the hive what's up jerk Mitchell you're broken in my house yeah I'm an insurance investigator I can do whatever I want what are you doing here I'm working the case I'm looking for Clues come on you already said Charles couldn't do this I couldn't do it that's what I thought but then I realized if you can hide your engagement from me what else are you capable of hiding oh right arson come on don't you think that's a bit of a stretch is it lab test came back into the accelerant used in the fire was turpentine and look what I found in Boyle's wife's closet looks to me a lot like Germantown oh I wouldn't do that turbine Diner just like I thought that's Genovese she uses it for opinions likely story I can't reschedule I have tickets to a Ted Talk on power poses and getting what you want by using your body uh-oh I hope it doesn't get too sexual oh I hope it doesn't get too sexual title or sex tape but seriously what is taking so long also the title of your sex tape well I have plans on Saturday too I'm having dinner with my parents so you don't even like your parents you call them smiley morons and hug freaks plans or plans I'm a badass and I'm an anarchist I don't buy it you know if you told me what you were really doing I consider changing my plans but you didn't so I'm getting Saturday off are you trying to power pose me I don't know maybe I'm supposed to be sitting in a chair this is why I need to see the talk hey there Boyle how was your weekend well actually I got a little sick oh really sorry to hear that man yeah Bullets Over Broadway was on TV I came down with a big old Diane Wiest infection like yeast since you're leaving I'd like to make a toast bye oh my God that was perfect so nice Gina I got a little going away present for you don't worry it's nothing big oh my goodness wow you once said if you ever die you wanted someone to turn your tweets into a book so that's what I did oh my God I said so many witty things so fast yeah I mean I don't know what to say this is horrifying what this is way worse than crying I mean you put so much work into this I'm completely uncomfortable it makes me kind of makes me sick Amy there's something I want you to do right now burn the book I need you yes the only way to cleanse your child or sentimentality and become the true you the one that's really Rosa okay sure I mean it does include a very personal forward I wrote and 75 of my best archival glue but yeah there this feels good hey never seen you burning stuff in the bum Barrel before right on what was in there Hitchcock first rule of the bun barrel never ask somebody what they're burning well okay then [Music] this is awesome okay just so we're clear from this point forward my call sign will be death blade and I'll be Rum Tum Tugger now Boyle no characters from cats dig deep think of something scary adopt Hitler no you will be Sidewinder all right but I'm more scared of Hitler how about you Captain what's your call sign I will be Captain Raymond Holt I knew you wouldn't play ball and that is why your call sign is wet blanket Sidewinder this is death play do you copy Sidewinder over this is Sidewinder deathblade I read you loud and clear over do you have a 20 on wet blanket Sidewinder over I do have a visual over all right look Captain once said that we could have anything we needed to solve this case yes but why to catch a murderer who stole 21 million dollars no it's so that when we do fail it'll be that much more spectacular if we don't get D'Angelo my career is over but if we do catch him your career will really take off Chopper pun [Music]

Channel: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Views: 1,124,468

Keywords: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, brooklyn 99, b99, Stephanie Beatriz, Rosa Diaz, Jake Peralta, Andy Samberg, Detective Charles Boyle, Melissa Fumero, Detective Amy Santiago, Detective Jake Peralta, NBC, Terry Jeffords, Amy Santiago, Sitcom, Chelsea Peretti, Andre Braugher, Gina Linetti, Terry Crews, Joe Lo Truglio, brooklyn nine-nine funny moments, brooklyn 99 funny moments, b99 funny moments

Id: qg9XYIBujR0

Length: 14min 33sec (873 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 15 2023