the nine-nine being over dramatic for 10 minutes straight | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Comedy Bites

PR is so boring I need some 99 drama stat I don't think we're that dramatic I've been gone one week Jake and Amy are dating and they've killed a person I figured out the best way to welcome pimento to the nine nine stay out of his way maybe buy him a drink not do anything weird I'm making him a goat stew huh all right yeah now this turkmenistani dish is traditionally made from an animal that's been so overfed it can no longer stand that's a dream everything is authentic I even ordered the pressure cooker from Turkmenistan so you're on a terrorist watch list now oh yeah Homeland Security's been at my house yep now this just needs to cook for another 11 hours 32 minutes and six what the hell boy you almost killed me I'm not going out in a stew making accident clary's gonna die saving the president or Jerry's Never Gonna Die there's no way we can clean this up by ourselves we're gonna need help what are you saying you know what she's saying man oh no it's not a secret meeting Jake it's an intervention the tips have to go what why take we're worried about you and you look very stupid come on guys I think they're kind of cool retro no they're terrible Amy come on you're taking the tips right no I feel like I'm kissing Vanilla Ice there was a time you would have jumped at that chance you have to go all right you guys got me I did it as a joke I kept them ironically pretty funny right I'm just gonna head out yes I'll admit it went too deep down there in Florida at one point I think I forgot where the tip of me ended and the base of the tips began before we just chop them off would anybody like to say some final words no that was one word that counts thank you Rosa okay I'm ready sorry I'm late everyone but trust me it's worth it me and Jake are chip buds what no [Applause] you know what I do see it it's bad it looks bad hey man you okay you look a little chubby fine I'm fine I think he's dead okay we have a few more questions for you doctor doctor huh it's funny when people call dentist Doctor we are doctors we do four years of medical school yeah it's called dental school but we learned about the entire body but if you had cancer you can call it dentists you know it's actually harder to get into dental school than medical school because there are fewer dental schools because most people want to become actual doctors that's ridiculous it's not like we're College professors calling ourselves doctors not the same thing my friend sure it is when someone has a heart attack on a plane do they yell out yo does anybody here have an art history PhD a PhD is a doctor red it's literally describing a doctor maybe let's refocus no the problem here is that medical practitioners have co-opted the word doctor okay Captain I know we live in a world where anything can mean anything and nobody even cares about apparently that's a trigger for me yeah apparently I'm 23 . I'm dying not one word if that is true still working on that afternoon almond I've been sucking on it so long it's smooth it's like sea glass you do you I'll get that boy games oops butter feet sorry about that sorry you bumbling son of a you just ruined my life I hope you get hit by a truck and a dog takes a dump on your face ain't nothing to see here just a little hypoglycemic rage move along I'm so sorry Hitchcock that's not me I'm never like that that's okay it's my fault I shouldn't have bumped your cashew cashew it was an almond you idiot I hope you drowned in a tub I hope you have an aneurysm after aneurysm after aneurysm I tried to suck it up and go back to work I put on my uniform and got in my car next thing I knew I was on a plane to Mexico didn't even pack a bag I bought a bundle of novelty shirts at a nearby gift shop this one says what's up beaches set of for human reasons but you hate humor well I'm a joke now so it suits me okay everything okay with Diaz yeah she fell asleep five minutes after I locked her in and she hasn't moved in the past 10 hours she talks in her sleep I'm gonna rip your head off I'm gonna rip your damn head off grandma oh Terror bear what if she sleeps forever all right listen up what you're about to see is highly disturbing but please no comments this man is in pain so above all else be kind good morning boy let's just get it out there Vivian broke up with me last night I'm sorry chuckle bunny Charles wait yes your food dehydrator oh God it's official wedding's off and this is what I'm like now life is a pit excuse me I don't understand did you already have a matrix get up at home for some reason no Gina I bought this with the money I was going to spend on our honeymoon to Cape Canaveral I'm so sorry buddy don't be I'm settling into the darkness nicely I definitely get you now what you got there boy eggs in a bag nothing brings me joy anymore not even food now I only eat for sustenance I'll just go prepared a little something you did when I was a little girl playing cops and robbers with my brothers please continue or I could wait no waiting just toasting I want you to toast I want to eat toast give me some toast no signs of forced entry at the door but the window was dimming you don't locks on your windows way to blame the victim sorry I'm not rich like you missed one percent they cost eight dollars you have a fur bedspread why do you have so many Lycra body suits and why do you need eight full drawers of underwear because I'm civilized less talky talk more solving salt we need an itemized list of everything that was stolen I already gave it to Captain Holt 160 dollars in cash one TV one large painting of a naked lady on a lion one set of Joseph Gordon-Levitt nesting dolls wow homemade and irreplaceable one music box that plays she works hard for the money when opened one knockoff designer clutch okay just buy another knockoff no I can't silly Sue because the label no longer makes the original so the Sweatshop no longer makes the knockoff Can you estimate the value of everything that was taken emotionally 700 million dollars Rosa are you stuck in there no I'm in here by choice oh cause I hear some banging noises as if someone was struggling to open the door no that was the pipes or is it the sound of you learning how to ask for help you know you can't spell independent without dependent and you can't spell go yourself without you okay I know you need help and time is tight but I see there's blue cake on the floor and I know what that means vis-a-vis the sex of the baby so before we do anything I'm gonna need a minute sorry for all the Weeping and the weird snort noise I made at the end it's genetic all right listen the case may not be quite as urgent as once thought um I dug it up out of my desk so you'd have something to do on weekends because you seem so lonely you cited chatter from the streets that Garibaldi had resurfaced I did I did I did but said chatter may have been fudged so you lied to me not a pity you pity me I wouldn't put it that way I would I am offended I am angry I am very tired so I'm gonna take a nap but when I wake up oh you are in for it how dare you how dare me [Music] what uh nothing I'm gonna go over to there now Jake what's going on why is Amy's Hair like that oh she obsessively braids her hair when she's nervous and she's super nervous because she's taking the Sergeant's exam today but Amy loves tests not this one it's always been her plan to be the youngest captain in the history of the NYPD but if she doesn't pass this exam she's gonna have to wait another three years to take it again and that'll disrupt her entire life calendar is that a real thing it hangs over our bed such a stress breeding big deal it's like a one on the Santiago Panic scale yeah but we've also jumped up to level two creepily singing songs from The Great American Songbook a Grand Old Flag you're right so yeah it's a little tough right now but I think the worst is behind us why are you taking it she'll be okay

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 1,106,027

Keywords: Comedy Bites, amy yells at hitchcock, amy yells at hitchcock b99, b99 break room bomb, b99 funny moments, b99 jake frosted tips, best of b99, boyle bomb, brooklyn 99 amy almond scene, brooklyn 99 boyle sad, brooklyn 99 dramatic holt, brooklyn 99 dramatic moments, gina linetti im a celebrity, how brooklyn 99 perfectly balances comedy and drama, rosa cant open door b99, terry's never gonna die

Id: qBNaYdx7UoA

Length: 9min 57sec (597 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 18 2022