How men see heavier women | Talks with Tony

hey hey tony guys here popping in with another episode of talks with tony late tonight had a long day um bless my barber today with a car and uh i was keeping that secret just in case but i had a friend of mine who he just went full time one of my son's teammates dads just went full time as a videographer so i thought of him and you know hired him to come and kind of record it just because it's a special build it took four months it still ain't all the way done still got to do a few little pieces to it but just show you how long it take when uh the builder is uh busy and um but want to bless him you know being there supporting me he went on some tours with me he cut my hair for free and i just see him get up and work hard every day you know 12 hour days 16 hour days every day doing the same thing and standing on his feet all day serving people and doing a service that changed somebody's life you know the way he do my hairline you'll think i'm young that's how i got this hat on now cause i need to get in his chair and get this hairline together but he changed your life i'll take this hat off you might drop your phone and run and he'd do that for 20 you know change somebody's life like a haircut if we could afford it would be a hundred dollars and so i i just i love to see people who working hard not making excuses don't take days i'll work on his birthday work on holidays you know come cut me on his day off on on sunday and i just i really want to be a blessing to them just to encourage them you know because we come from them street dreams to where you want to get nice things with fast money and then now to be living right and doing the right thing i just want to show them that god can show up and show out and bless the way you still can have some of the desires of your heart with hard work and honesty and faithfulness and integrity is come and keep going so when he finished the video i'm gonna post it on my page it probably has some you know secular uh copyright music so y'all it ain't you know forgive that i probably had a guy make a version without you know one of these little songs out here but um it's just i'm just like wow you know i had to bless the man and so that's what i was doing today so that's why my video late everything was running running behind and y'all forgive me for that now y'all forgive us that but uh just wanted to share that and not to boast or brag but just to say you never know who watching you you never know where your blessing gonna come from why are you working are you tired and you frustrated you'll never know who god blessing or putting on their heart to be a blessing to you you never know and then when you get blessed be looking to be a blessing instead of just looking to be blessed that's a lesson in itself hey tony i would like to be enlightened about what men think about dating heavier women now i've heard some of your videos from years ago where you suggest that women should get their body right it was part of your three b's brand body and brain i believe i believe please give us heavier women some insight on what we may encounter from men in the dating world and why for instance why do they always approach us with that or have a sexual comment on any part of our body i mean the most foolish like your arm looks so smooth why do they approach us in a more blunt provocative and disrespectful manner i know it doesn't stand true for all and i hate to generalize men and heavier women but oftentimes i feel like men think that heavier women will settle for their nonsense like we're looked at as if we are desperate when in fact we be turning heads and getting a lot of male attention as a woman who has a professional career as a school psychologist making six figures drives a luxury vehicle 34 no kids and lives alone why do men come at me with the slick subliminal comments come and try to borrow money or come with the controlling behavior like trying to dominate me simply overdoing it i never mention anything i have not even my occupation yet somehow they believe i got a personal atm waiting for them to ask for money i will add that i am pretty i would drop a pic head shot to show you so you can see what i'm looking like but that's inappropriate as you have a wife i mean most of the men will date you try and lay with you but as far as being in a relationship they always have some sort of excuse like they're working on themselves trying to get their money right or they aren't ready for a relationship please spill the beans about why this is when it comes to heavier women p.s i have dropped 20 pounds in this and let's just say these men are looking thirsty it's terrible how different they treat you thank you god bless you now m dot e d comma e d dot s what's that masters of education or education sciences school psychologist that's just to say she finna go to this hill school and she ain't finna stop did she get where she going now you hear me sister got all the way there so say she touching six figures 34 no kids got a luxury vehicle all right well you you really asked the question and answered it in in the question you know you pretty much said what you know the men are doing and it's kind of like you know we look at the media and this is what a grown boy you know and and not necessarily just a grown boy but humans in general you know humans in general because we have societal standards we have societal norms and society puts these certain things out there like you need a degree to you know be somebody like if you don't have a degree you are nobody and then if we have that degree we'll wear that in our signature like in my signature it says tony a gaskins jr founder of and i run them sites off oh you don't know often let you know now and that's probably doing the most in that signature but no i'm gonna let you know i just need you to know and you just know anybody uh emailing you okay somebody who thought of some websites is emailing you you finna know and just like on yours i got your name then it got m.e.d comma e d dot s i don't even know what they say you said i mean to me it said med eds they say med eds but i only know what that stands for because i don't have that level of schooling and now so how you put that down there and they say and then abundance a school psychologist so you see how you wearing that with a sense of pride like listen i don't work hard and rightfully so you ain't wrong for it don't think i'm saying you wrong for it but i want you to understand how you wearing that with a sense of pride it's an accomplishment because the world has said if you can accomplish a bachelor's a master's or whatever you are somebody you are smart you are dedicated you are focused you are diligent you are set apart and you are destined for success that's what we are conditioned to believe and so there are certain images that were shown in the movies in the music videos in the magazines so if all of our images if majority of our images were women of a certain figure then everybody would look at that figure and say that is the figure that you need to be to be successful but when you look in the acting world when you look in all the movies you have seen how many women do you see that are you know your same size and that you say oh i see myself and so or even if if it's your race in certain industries if it's your gender so when i look on television at people who have given advice on a reality show most of them are it says doctor such and such and so i look at on there and i don't see myself now yes i've been on television because the people were my clients before they got a tv show but the network ain't just called me and put me on there because i don't have doctor before my name or no letters after my name other than junior jr and that ain't enough for them so when i look on there i could feel less than and it's so many days that i look on there and i'm like man i need to go to college man i need to go finish college get my bachelor's get my masters but then i say to myself that's man's validation god has already validated me god has already sent me the clients that i need sent me the audience that i need sent me the support that i need like that degree ain't gonna do nothing for me other than get me the respect of people that i don't need they respect anyways if they can't respect me based off my god-given wisdom but without them letters and some people wrap their whole life up in that and they say well no you still could get it because it'll do this it ain't gonna make me no more money it may get me on tv faster or easier but i don't want to be on tv because it's fake it's not real i can't do what i'm doing right here give this real insight they want take one take two take three so when you look at this when you see the world the men that's approaching you they programmed by that so they looking and this what they're saying and that's why i tell all my clients i tell all my clients this uh women clients tell all my clients the man's looking at you and he's saying she doesn't have enough representation in the media so she must be insecure about that and i see this a lot with skin complexions uh it's a lot of it's certain like you know when you dark skin if you look and you see all white and all light skin that make you feel a certain way if it's certain white people who watch the nba and the nfl and they get mad because they see 80 percent black men and you can watch college basketball and all 10 people on the court in the men's game and the women's game could be all black people and so it's certain people of other races asian caucasian you know hispanic they look and say this is not fair why are we not included we have to include them in our schools why don't they have a quota that they have to meet in sports and some people get upset about that and so the thing is is a person starts to feel insecure if they don't have representation i work with athletes and whenever it's a white guy he referenced his himself as a white guy like i'm a white guy who can who you know i'm a white guy who just loved a hoot and it's like what does it matter that you're white but he's like saying i'm a sore thumb i stick out like a sore thumb and so that's the same thing when you know some uh a woman who as you said heavier women a heavier woman may may refer to herself as i'm a big girl but i showed you dress yeah i got some extra meat on my bones but i show make money and and other people may be like okay why you had to mention your body size and your body shape and it's because she's self-conscious about it because of what the media shows now i got a client who is a full figure woman okay and she don't have a shy bone or a insecure bone in her body and i was like man i wish that could be just spread amongst all women and i remember hearing a radio guy say why does he was like why does the and it was an insensitive comment but what he said was why does the you know women built like this be so insecure and then the women built like this he was basically he said why does the smaller women insecure and why are the women who have more of a figure or you know more meat on their bones so confident and and it was kind of like the question was kind of confusing because it's like well why shouldn't she be confident and just because this woman over here is petite does that automatically mean that she has a birthright or confidence like she's just naturally going to be confident and so these things kind of come up and what happens is people go by stereotype so if the media taking shows black men all the time as criminals then even me i'm locking my doors and i see a brother walking by i don't tell him what he what would you fit to do and i might be programmed by the media now when you if you see somebody walking by black guy it's late at night or it's whenever and if you're gonna sit there and be like you know what that's my brother ain't been a judge i'm gonna leave this door right on lock or do you hit that lock button all right i know your brother but i'm still finna be safe so within what i do to make myself feel good if asian walking by for hispanic walking by for white walking by i hit that button on the hook and let him hear the lock sound just just will say just so i'm saying hey i ain't going to discriminate so what happened is is when you watch the media they will show women who are you know of a different body shape than what they normally show whatever that body shape may be sometimes they'll show a shorter person sometimes they'll show a person who has more meat on their bones sometimes they're voluptuous full figure uh whatever the terms y'all use i don't know what the politically correct terms are um she said heavier women and so sometimes they may show heavier women sitting there eating eating a bunch stuff in their face you know may show heavier women like in precious the movie precious getting up ill getting cussed out getting done wrong you know getting overlooked getting mistreated so they creating the stereotypes they create the stereotypes and they're pushing it out into the world so now the viewers men who are the most easily programmed people on the face of the earth men are it's the truth if we watch something on youtube a man got a new car now we want that car if i i remember i watched guys on youtube they got certain cars and i'm getting ready to go get one of my calls and my wife said baby what are you thinking about she said do you think them men would drive that car if they were able to get the car that you have you know what you got a point they driving the top of the line that where they finances is at right now but i'm sitting here watching their car channel making me want to go get one of the cars and i thank the car ugly really don't like the car but it's just monkey see monkey do i just finish eating okay if i touch this tv on and i see me some dominoes uh yeah i like what a cheese uh medium pan cheese pizza yeah for delivery okay all right thank you just like that if my wife got so much stuff because i'm on the mailing list every day i get an email from one of these stores y'all get mad with me for sending you one email two emails or a week these stores email every single day and they like get off the list then if you don't want to get email they email every day and i'm in there shopping i'm just like oh my god let me get on the email list i don't bought my wife so much stuff because i get them emails and so we easily program so when a man looks and he sees all of the representation when you name the top actresses when you name the top actresses that you could think of how what how do how do they what are their body types what are their races what have you now you'll think of queen la tifa but queen latifah in real life date women then you'll think of is her name sigourney weaver who played precious i don't i can't remember the name you'll think of her she has a different body type than what is normally shown to us then you have monique and uh then you have the lady from the help who put that boo boo in miss mini pie i think the ladle was named miss minnie who got the boo boo pie um you got her her figure is not always shown it's not common in a lot of the movies so and then you got a few others that we could think of and then on in the caucasian you have the lady is her name tammy and she the comedian and um her figure on the caucasian side of things on that side she the only one i could think of and then the other other one um don't i can't remember her name but she's a comedian too but when you look at even when you look at on the the steer the rolls they will give the role now in just right with common they put queen latifah in common now if queen latifah date men in real life it's it the movie could have been a little more realistic but just her energy from being and set it off and being a rapper and all that it just was hard to believe but they tried to push that narrative but it was hard to believe it's like okay you're gonna push that narrative get a woman who naturally like her some men and i ain't saying nothing you know bad about queen latifah i'm just saying she like her oh she won't hurt a woman not no man so it didn't come off believable in the movie but look what they show us so they put the woman with a different figure than what they normally show they make her she got to be funny she got to be sloppy you know like like the uh the caucasian ladies i mentioned they all they have them sloppy and doing crazy stuff and just all comedy they don't get to play a sexy role a cute roll a smart roll sophisticated role now yeah if you're a movie buff you could think of one or two examples but i'm talking about the majority and so what happens is this programming so a man will look at a woman and not just about heavier women but in every aspect this goes but when he looks at the woman who is a heavier woman he says to himself she must be insecure because her figure is not praised and promoted in the world so she must be insecure she must be desperate by now she must be frustrated by now she must be willing to settle but then here's the thing in a lot of cases in a lot of cases if we go by stereotypes but then when the stereotype proves itself to be true then it reinforces what you thought so it's like if they showing me black men as criminals and then i turn on i'm looking at the crime rate and it's a lot of black on black it's like well man is the stereotype true and if i mess trying to get robbed like i did buy some by some brothers like man it's a stereo truth cause y'all had cuz y'all had let a white man rob me just to disrupt the narrative y'all had to go and play into the stereotype so then what happened is if you see a woman who was a heavier woman and you see her catering to this man he driving her car he living off of her she flying him around the country around the world she make the money he don't make what she make and he living off her he may be medium built he may be petite slim built and so then it look like man she just buying her man so then it reinforces the stereotype in the man mind and then he'll have this woman who she doing now when i was mentioning y'all in college we had it was a heavier woman and if i had to guesstimate i would say probably um you know probably around 300 pounds and she was a caucasian woman and what she would do is she would let 10 to 30 men line up in a line outside of her dorm room and she would each went on we really didn't know what was going on in there i'm someone might have dove in my dough on in there and went for the real deal instead of the but she would do that so what that did in in and she was like the one it was a small school she was like the one woman that was uniquely built her way so what that did is it sent a message that said oh this is how women who look like her behave and then women who look the opposite of her they don't do that no other woman the opposite of her has a line outside of their door taking care of everybody in that way so a man will take that one little incident and now he says oh this is true and so what happens is is if and what you got to realize if the world not praising you you gotta forgive my computer's about to cut off i'm not reading notes somebody said oh you be reading no because you be looking it's like if i worry no what do that matter but i'm a computer by the cut off so if the world take and say uh days not install y'all gotta forgive i'm trying to get my updates on my computer if the world taking say you know oh you insecure oh this the way you got to act this the way you got to be you got to be loud if you're going to be a heavier woman you got to be loud you got to be funny you got to be easy for a man and they depict this in the movies they depicted in the music and they showing this and so now some women who are of that figure starts to believe that and they start to live it out because it's just all programming about we told how to feel about ourselves if you're a black person in america you're told to feel less than you're told to i was talking to a white man today who was transporting the vehicle from a barber and he was telling by his friend he was like well tony when you come up looking like all this money and you pull up in this kind of car these expensive clothes you make people want to overcharge you i say listen he said well he said i went with my friend and he dressed like a bomb and he went in there and he got them to take so much money off the truck he wanted to buy i said as a black man in america if i dress like your friend a salesman wouldn't even talk to me i say i go in and look like money and still get dead wrong and i got money and i got money to sue and they still try me i go in there and look like money and still get ignored we're standing there 15 minutes and a single person won't speak to me because of the color of my skin and somebody else over another race and you know i was just talking to a man at a dealership and he said he didn't catch himself say this he said you know if we take advantage of people and we mistreat them if we do this to a black person hispanic person asian person and then one day we end up doing that to a white person that's when we really messed up he didn't even realize that his fear of taking advantage of minorities is rooted in if it happens to a white person that's when they gonna have to pay a price but it's because and he hispanic himself but that's because of the way the society the media conditions us to think and to feel and to believe so a man is treating you based on what the world has showed him and told him this how you treat a woman like this because she insecure because she feels less than so what you have to do is you got to take y'all forgive my update my computer at the same time i'm doing this is how you know this right here i'm just coming from the heart we just flowing okay you got to take in you change the narrative so what i do to shift the narrative when i go out i tip 25 percent or i tell 30 percent because they may say in their mind black people don't tell but now when they just get my tip now they for the rest of their life they can't say that they look cook i oh black people do not tip they're gonna say oh that's not true i just had a guy last night who tipped 30 and he was the first person it was the first time that ever happened to me so i take and shift the narrative i take him break the stereotype they say oh black men ain't in the home i'm in the home at every game so now they say oh well can't say that because we we know somebody that's there oh black people just make their money from drugs or from sports or from music when they see me do something you know get on a private jet or something then it's oh that um every single time i'm doing something that is on another financial level a white gentleman says you're a ballplayer because in his mind he's been con conditioned to believe every single time he's been conditioned to believe that if a black man has money he plays sports or he does music and i rocked the world i said no i'm actually an author i said a guy asked me today he said what do you do for a living because he seen him a vehicle he said what do you do for a living i say i'm an author he said a author like of books you write books i said yeah i'm right books wow i say i'm an author i'm life coach i'm a speaker wow and at 80 years old before the lord get ready to call him home and another how many of the year 10 years 20 years pray get 20 or more for lord get ready to call him home for the first time in his life he met a black author at 80 years old for the first time in his life and his two sisters one of his sisters is 81 and she just write her first book and he met a 36 year old black male who's written over 20 books shift the narrative see so what we have to do is you you can't internalize it you can't internalize it when somebody comes and they have you stereotyped they're judging you or they approach you a certain way you gotta stop them in their tracks flip that on them and then he said whoa this woman here i assume she was insecure because of this i assume she was desperate because of this i assume she'll be happy they cater to me and i remember i assumed that when i was a young man i was a teenager and i'm thinking i'm finna get me some from a young lady because she was built different and so i'm thinking she is ecstatic to have me hauling her and i i'll never forget she had a thick old tongue because she at that time and it was something her brother had they were twins he had a thick tongue too and and so i'm thinking in my head okay she's got a thick tongue all right she is not normally what i date and talk to because i'm out here conditioned by the world she never had no boyfriend she never had no man try to haul at her so here when i shoot my shot she finna be ecstatic when i tell you i shot my shot listen uh huh turn it i'm gonna do that i don't do that i ain't gonna do that i ain't gonna do that with you oh what when i tell you i sat there in bed all day long ain't he want nothing i was too young i wouldn't even know what to do with it if i got it but when i tell you that thing hurt my ego because the world had said to me if a woman looked like this here and it wasn't her weight just i mean she was fuller than other girls her age but it wasn't like you know that that was the only thing she had everything on her at that time they was in the struggle they was in a real struggle they lived in the hood of hoods in the hood they was at the hood the bottom of the hood and so i'm thinking i'm finna be god's gift the whole life she turned me down you know what and i probably was i don't know 13 could have been 16 but that shifted that shifted my mindset to see every woman as equal to see if the never judge a woman based on what the media has conditioned me to believe the media say oh if a woman is this height if a woman has this sized nose if a woman has these kind of teeth if a woman has this skin complexion this skin texture this hair texture then she is insecure less than overlooked desperate frustrated will do anything for attention from from you if you fit in this other box that it may be somebody like you so when i was growing up oh god rest his soul i think he passed away but action jackson action jackson was an actor and he looked similar to me people say man you look like action jackson and i can't remember the young man name but i think he he i think he i think he passed away and it could have been suicide but i'm not sure um but people say man you look like ashley jackson so on the tv i had representation and then later chris paul was in the nba dwyane wade in the nba and people say man you look jet like you remind me of chris paul when i started working with athletes and then other people say man you look like dwyane wade then some places i go white people will say you look like kanye west so i had representation people who look similar to me had been chosen to make it and given a pathway to make it so that reinforced me and like okay you know day 5 10 you know this person 510 he made it so any ain't too bad that i'm two inches on the six feet but if you look out there and your representation in the magazines and the movies is not what you want it to be it ain't looking up for how you want it to be then it's like you could internalize that and say oh that's me oh man all the field man see i knew i was ugly i knew i was undesirable and they did the movie where the the lady she had she taller you know she more of a shape the caucasian lady that played a movie maybe it's called pretty thing or i don't know what it's called pretty like me or something but it's to wear when it's her in her normal skin she not talk to she not liked when she bumped her head and she looked in the mirror and she looked like what the world praises she get all the confident so she out here dane and she pulling all these men and she think is because she looked like the quote-unquote blonde bombshell but she still looked the same and she don't understand that she still looked the same you seen the movie and what she later realized at the end of the movie like wow i was always the same person but because i saw myself differently i had more confidence and i remember walking with my wife in the mall we had just met and i tell this story before i haven't told it before if if you list if you don't heard the story for you oh gee god bless you now this his shirt just say raise the flag this is super bowl champion don't worry about that if you don't you don't go for the bus you don't live in town you ain't got real life over about this shirt ah y'all ain't got one of these this yeah don't worry about it and me and i were walking they knew what's up it was a woman who you know her hips you know her hip set was about if my wife was this size this woman was about this size she was about two to two and a half the width of my wife her hips but she this sister had on leggings this is had on leggings and she had that wagon swanging do you hear me like my homeboy used to say look like a condo swinging and she had that thing and me and my wife walking and i seen that lady walk and she had confidence you she walking like a gazelle huh huh she she jazzed she flowed through the mall and i said my wife she's my girlfriend we had just met we have probably been talking maybe a couple weeks so i could say something like this now you get all the way in you can't be commenting on stuff but at this point you still kind of like friends and so i say you see that you see that lady over there you see that girl over there i probably said girl because she probably looked you know our age was in our early 20s i said you see that girl over there i say that right there it's sexy i say that right there is sexiness because she confident and my wife was like really because and the reason why she said really she is because the media and the movies don't praise that young lady's body type but she didn't let that dictate and determine how she felt about herself and she walked with a confidence that it would have been and then i will see my wife who had representation in the media would walk slump and i made that point to her not later on had we been close i cut a product could have got slapped but i made that point to her to say listen you know the media is beating up on her and calling her all kind of names the world may call her overweight may call her less attractive may call her you know clinical term may label her as obese and we look at the word obese as you know offensive derogatory and and it is a clinical term but the connotation of it is it's offensive if you call somebody obese that is like a slur that's offensive but that is a clinical term on the doctor form and so this what the world calling her but she's saying i'm not gonna let that make me slump i'm not gonna let that make me put my head down i'm on my journey i'm on my journey i'm gonna be me and i'm gonna embrace every season that i'm in and so that's the the thing right there that's intangible that it that each of us have to have so i'm gonna hear talking my head off with no college degree a lady come on here the other day oh you just talk too much you just talk in circles you get to the point i didn't take the time to respond to her i ain't take the time to justify myself to wave my my credentials my my resume read her my bio ain't take the time to do none of that and get right back on here today oh you finna listen to me i ain't got no degree from man but i got wisdom from god and so no matter how you built what your shape is and you have to believe that you beautiful you have to believe that you sexy that you find that you can have the man that you want that you can attract the man that you want and that confidence that's going to lose from you that's your aura that that's gonna ooze from you and then that man he that man he gonna take and look at you and say wow okay she confident and then just like you say so so see here's the thing if now like you say you lost 20 pounds so what that says is is that you not happy you're you're not satisfied you may be happy but you're not satisfied with your weight so you say i want to get some of this weight off of me now you didn't say you're doing that for a man you may be doing it because you say well this is going to make me feel better or it's going to make me healthier or the doctor said this what i need to do but for whatever reason you did it so you lost 20 pounds and then now you say it's terrible how different they treat you and that goes to show you how perception works so that's why i tell all of my clients like because of perception is reality even perception is the reality of the person perceiving you it may not be your reality a person may perceive you as insecure because of how you look but you may actually be extremely confident they don't have their reality of you upended until they come into interaction with you and then when they interact with you then it like oh wow okay i see so now things start to change so what you have to realize is witness here now with this here is when you take and you see where this this world is not showing you love and that the women like the artist what her name lizzo and she try to you know she do thongs and naked and trying to do body positive stuff but then at the same time you may see like you could tell us some insecurity like some things may be forced like some things be maybe trying to force a narrative because of something else in there versus just pure natural confidence confidence don't mean you got to show your whole booty you could be fully clothed and still be confident confident don't mean that just because you have a different body type you gotta dress like somebody else who has a different body type you still could dress for your body type and be comfortable even if you comfortable with a mid-drift you comfortable with leggings or whatever you could dress to be comfortable without trying to dress like somebody else and say oh she built like this i'ma dress like her to show that i'm confident you don't have to do that because confidence is in the way you talk the way you carry yourself the way you communicate what you demand what you negotiate when you in the business room when you want your salary what you negotiating for that salary what you allow what you accept and what you stop that's what's going to show how confident you are about yourself that's what's going to show that so you have to realize that and when you get to that place you get to that point then you say okay all right so now when you know you y'all forgive my computer restart so make a little noise when you know you and who you are and you love you and and you could be on a journey when you meet a man guess what he can love you because he sees you love yourself and if he sees you love yourself and you working on yourself and you say hey well you know what i'm this figure but the doctor said that this is not healthy long term that i may have some clogging or some clotting or you know something going on because my height is not built to carry what up the the stress that i'm putting on it based on my eating habits so i'm gonna change my eating habits i'm gonna in i'm gonna add a workout routine or increase my workout routine and i'm gonna see if that makes a difference and i must consult the doctors and address the medical issues that i may be facing and i'm just going to be clicking on all cylinders and i'm gonna do what i can do to be healthy and to live right and then where my body falls that's where i'm supposed to be and that's what you have to do so the the thing is is restart my computer the thing is don't get comfortable in a place of complacency and say oh you know i weigh this much and this is x amount of pounds more than the average person my height but i'm just going to rock this out and i'm just finding you know just settle here if if it's unhealthy for you like my mom she was full figured but when she go to the doctor she'll say the doctor i got a perfect bill of health well not anymore she kept that she kept going then the next thing you know the doctor said you got dilvaticulitis nothing you got um you know diabetes or early um diabetes whatever diabetes one or whatever it's called two the way it ain't that bad to where you need like a lot of medicine but it's like hey you got to get this in line so it was just a gradual it's like over right in the beginning it ain't effect but then over time if you keep drinking too much sugar eating too much greasy stuff you know not exercising enough doing these things then it's going to affect you so what you have to say this what i tell everybody do the absolute best that you can do so right now i'm overweight i'm probably overweight 10 20 pounds and for right now at 36 i'll be 37 on march 8th for right now at 36 my metabolism could fight it but at 46 if i'm still drinking too sweet tea like i hit me today having two sweet tea so that let me know tony you're not doing the best you can jay had me some fried chicken wing i'm a life coat i'm a relationship coat not a healthy welding coat told them chicken wing from the chinese and the chinese could have had some msg in there i mean but guess what i got to do better so now i know tony you can't say oh i'm just going to love me and i'm just going to keep doing what i'm doing because i'm not doing the best i could do 9 when i'm drinking more than water got a full bottle of water here watering ain't seeing my lips full bottle of water here just looking good making me feel good just sitting there what ain't you now silk now when i finish talking i'm finna go hit the whole water boom now when i hit that water and then i'm gonna get my shower for the night and i'm gonna get in the bed and get me some sleep now when i get in that bed and get me some sleep if i get in that bed before midnight get me some sleep nah now i'm going to bed early jump some water and i had my water earlier today but i need to be having full four-door bottles i need to drink 40 balls a day this one right here may make this will make my second bottle so that that equates to four glasses of water knee eight so now when i'm draining this water i'm sleeping right i post a workout tomorrow i counseled it because i got a meeting so my training like man you keep scheduling me and when during our meeting i'm like yeah workout come last for me but i got to do better you see what i'm saying so see i'm here being honest with you all right don't try to crucify me for being honest with you letting you know ain't nobody perfect we all got weaknesses we all need to be growing and getting better so here i just hit them chicken wings i should have had me some salmon as as we used to say a salmon and then one time i ordered some salmon and heard the way salmon man don't correct me it got a l in there trying to be smart out the mouth better yeah i'm finna go i got to go you ain't going to get my money want to come in here salmon it says salmon and so i meant i should have me some salmon some salmon and some asparagus or some broccoli and i ain't gonna get in no argument with y'all about that ain't real that ain't real vegetables that man made basketball you need to listen to dr cb dr sebby he'll tell you and god rest his soul and see that be the thing right there everybody don't know everything i was talking to my partner the other day and he said man he said man my homeboy doctor and he said man listen live your life have balance you want your burger eat your burger you want your slice of pizza eat your slice of pizza work out drink water eat your healthy meal too don't just go overboard but live your life don't be so strict he say man i see people coming to this hospital that have ran five days a week and ate clean for the last 30 years and they dying of something that they cannot cure he said listen man life ain't promised to nobody live your life do it the best you can but don't be so strict on an area to where you can't even have fun at a dinner party because you count macros and micros and ficros and your fico and the way you can't even eat a pasta at your wedding because you so caught up on trying to be this here image and so but at the same time don't go completely overboard so this way you have to find confidence in yourself my wife is a medical student biomedical science bachelors medical sciences masters so she studied the body and with her she believed in balance if i want to do a keto diet she do not like that if i want to go vegan or something like that she do not like that because she say listen your body and your blood type require certain things so if you're going to get something from chicken you're going to get something from beef you ain't got to eat red meat every day all day but every now and then your body being blood type oh you might need your steak you got to listen to your body not what somebody wrote in a book and not what worked for the next person because what worked for them might kill you so you have to listen to your body and do what you need to do and she always tell me that and she believed in balance she believe in happy weight you know she don't it ain't about having no washboard abs because that's not realistic because even somebody with washboard abs the moment they take a day off they got a little stomach because your body ain't meant to have washboard abs you meant to have a little stomach for insulation processing all them washboard out your stomach can't even do everything you need to do in there you see what i'm saying and so you have to come to the place to where you know you the way you study the science of your body and you stop letting somebody push they diet on you they regiment on they work out regiment on you they eating regiment on you and you study you and you do the best you can do for you and then let's say you're eating right you sleeping right you working out and your body land at 180 200 250 will depend on where your body lands at and and if you got a medical issue and you're doing everything you could do but your thyroid or adrenal gland whatever it is it's not functioning properly but you're going to the doctors you're doing what you're told to do and this way your body at and you're doing everything you know what to do you got to be confident in that space you can't be talking can't be sad and be oh nobody going to like me nobody don't know you got to be confident in that space and then you're going to attract who's for you you may attract somebody who on the same journey they may be on the other side because it's petite people who are unhealthy and it's people who are heavier and are healthy so it go both ways and you got to look at that you got to be real with yourself but at the end of the day you have to love you and self-love mean you're getting better and you're doing the best that you can do so listen i'm finna drink the health water but listen if i eat me something good this water ain't got no flavor i don't want to wash it down with no water i want my carbonation you hear me i need my little carbonation if their carbonation's gonna hit good with their food it's all water no water sometimes you feel like i'm drinking castor oil so i'm like listen okay i'm gonna drink the water that i need now but at the same time i hit my sprite okay let's surely temple with a little grenadine in there that grenadine with that sprite all right i'll walk it off tomorrow but it's like hey my grandma smoked like a chimney in a little 82. the bible problem was three score and 10. that's 70 years my grandma got 82 years of smoke like a chimney and had both legs cut off so i'm like okay lo i'm doing better than huh i'm living better than i don't smoke like no chimney nine so lord hey let me see let me see 92 at least lord eve lord if you feeling it let me touch 102 because because it's a couple things lord that's going to get people to listen to me one or two things lord if i turn 100 or if i become a billionaire that's the only two times that the whole world listen to you when you're a billionaire or you're a hundred lord come on now let me lord come on now let me do one on so now everything is in it's emotion in motion i talked to the man he's 80 years old man look 65 to me he said well man i started nine at night he said i put my feet up in the air nah he had now i ain't want a picture no eddie old man with a feet in there in the bed with a feet in the house but he said that let that everything drain down because that sugar settle in your feet he said this his theory says blood he says sugar raised blood pressure his sugar got high when he first put the feet up in the aisle but then after that it started to settle each day it got better and better and better so he said that's what he doing not putting this he said he put his his ankles above his ears or above his shoulders i'm like well that's interesting now now he 80 years old not so i said okay i'm 36 so tonight i'm going to be you know with my feet up you know looking at food but healthy it might not have nothing to do with health but i'm so hoping to try unless i read somewhere that you know they're working against me what you see what i'm saying so right now 36 okay i might have no sweet tea but nah come 40 all right more water 45 even more water more walking so you're doing things in your season and you're doing things in balance and it's realistic but through every season you're loving yourself you're not abusing yourself you're not traumatizing yourself you're not beating yourself up you're not dogging yourself out you're not operating from insecurity you're not operating from a scarcity or a lack mindset you operating from a place of self-love and self-love meaning you're evaluating yourself and every day you're trying to get better than you were the day before so today i want to go to bed a little earlier than i went last night today i want to drink a little more water than i drunk yesterday tomorrow i'm gonna be trying to eat better than i ate today you see what i'm saying so that's what you have to get to and don't worry about what the media say don't and when these men try it it's because of their ignorance it's because of their perception of the world based on what they've been fed it's not that they innately think that you less than it's that the media has taught them and showed them and reinforced this preconceived notion this stereotype over and over and over and they don't bought into it so you check them let them know you don't fall inside of that you read them with your confidence and now you up ended their narrative and now they've blown away so now the next woman they approach who is like you they're going to see her totally different and approach her different because they just got put in place and now they see just cause this woman is built like this or this height or whatever don't mean she insecure desperate lonely and just i can shoot my shot however i want to it is tony gaston god bless you i got to go we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 171,306

Rating: 4.8419232 out of 5

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Id: KiNoAVyb0_8

Length: 59min 58sec (3598 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 02 2021