Who Was Your Weird Substitute Teacher? | School Stories #43

what was the weirdest substitute teacher you had going through school in middle school we had the substitute math teacher once it was the most memorable substitute ever because without anyone mentioning it and without it being prompted at all he began to tell us about how he had testicular cancer and had to have one of his testicles removed then he drew a pair of testicles on the board and then just erased one of them just in case anyone was still confused on what he was talking about this is kind of sad i think having cancer was too much for him and had to vent it whenever and however he could we had a stereotypical old hippie lady who would wear like sequin pants and a pink sweater with a cat on it she subbed at my high school and we all loved getting her because she would never enforce any rules like none if you wanted to leave and go wander the halls for 20 minutes she was supportive of that if you just wanted to take a nap that was groovy knife fights that's what freedom is all about dudes also she gave out candy she never taught the lesson that was left instead we would usually engage her in conversation until it was too late for her to start then she would play games with us i'm not sure how she was able to keep her job but i had her three or four times throughout high school i could also never figure out whether this was her real personality or whether she was playing a role in order to survive the trial by fire that is subbing substitute teacher for history her name was d eamon miss demon had a breakdown two weeks in and left us alone for four hours we had a substitute named mrs zikos but she always had us call her mama's ed everyone who attended my high school in the past 20 years knows mama said she was pretty old so she had all of these crazy stories about her life but dementia was definitely starting to set in and some stories had no clear beginning plot end or meaning for a while she called all of the students her squirrel babies she would randomly decide that one person was president of the class or one person was most qualified to take her job if something happened to her while she was teaching or any number of bizarre circumstances everyone loved seeing mama's head in the halls because you knew that you were going to have a fun day if she was around mama's head and her squirrel babies would make a great name for an avant-garde jazz group or something i honestly can't remember what his actual name was we all called him mr p he was a rather rotund italian guy who was the most sought-after substitute because he literally never did anything would take attendance and that was about it he earned his legend status because he was known to let students with cars go pick up food as long as they brought him back some his nickname throughout the school was the italian sub the italian sub brilliant we had this little old lady in middle school who would substitute for every kind of class in every grade basically one time our history teacher was going to be out and told us we could bring in movies and vote to watch one this little lady let a group of 11 year olds watch tales from the crypt demon knight while she sat back in the corner desk and read her bible even that young i realized how fantastically nonsensical it was and i will never forget it that's the best tales from the crypt movie too i don't recall his name but either he was so clueless or simply didn't occur which is weird that the school kept bringing him back because he seemed to be the go-to supply teacher for our high school students would try and one-up each other to see what they could get away with notable events include this one guy standing behind window curtains near the front of the class until five minutes left in the class he hid before the teacher walked in and stayed there the entire class and his feet were sticking out the bottom the whole time that took dedication because this was before smartphones another guy who was very tall folded himself inside the wheeled base of the projector for 30 minutes and then popped out suddenly in the middle of the lecture the teacher didn't even blink as this student took his seat again in another class we had these lame french books called sailor v translation that's life we would go around all class and sneak as many copies of this book into each other's belongings then eventually you would find one in your own stuff and the rule was that you would have to proclaim an allowed voice bar i got say larvid and announced the number of books you found similarly we all placed sale of ebooks all over the classroom before class started in the most random and or obstrusive locations this teach would go on as if this was completely normal don't remember her name but she subbed in for otto m we used to say it was for mo beals trigonometry i'll never forget when she out of the blue stated to the class now girls don't you let them boys touch yo breasts it'll give you cancer don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die this isn't a weird substitute teach i had this is a weird substitute teacher that i was it was my first day subbing and i had a group of freshmen taking earth science the lesson plan finished with 20 minutes left in the block so i'll let them hang out socialize i overheard the following exchange girl you're a dork guy you can't say that that's offensive girl no dork isn't a bad word so i can call you at all i want guy to me isn't dork offensive emmy well not generally but the actual meaning is pretty gross girl wait what's it mean emmy um i had made a terrible mistake in my quest to feel smart and show off my knowledge of obscure facts i completely forgot a simple truth all kids nowadays have smartphones and will use them at the drop of a hat moments after i trailed off a third kid looked up from their phone and exclaimed third kid it's a whale's penis everyone what third kid it's a whale's penis there's pictures everyone immediately started pulling out their phones and googling dork within minutes the whole class was looking up the names and pictures of various animal genitalia i never did get invited back to that school till english language has special words for animal penis that would be my cousin he was the type of guy who couldn't keep a job but was always working we saw him everywhere firefighter emt substitute teacher construction worker guy selling booze at the trading post the list goes on he never stepped foot inside a college but he was always working it was probably his charisma that got him all those jobs anyways he'd always go through the lessons like a regular teacher he'd do it really well but i know for a fact that he was s face drunk 100 of the time so your cousin is kirk from gilmer girls this one freaking guy looked exactly like shaggy from scooby-doo and hated when you call him that he drove a freaking chevy spark tiny butt thing and was incredibly weird imagine a senior prank to repaint it like the mystery machine she told us to call her texas charity and she told us compulsive lies about her life one story i specifically remember is the one about her chipping a tooth from a burger king burger apparently it was still frozen and her tooth came out she said she was going to sue bk big time and get her tooth fixed i don't think she ever was successful with that though bc that tooth is still missing and she's still at my school tragic the frick kind of name is texas charity had a sub called called sunny day happiest women you will ever meet she subbed for about a week then disappeared the only evidence she was ever there was in the guard house to the school where her picture was displayed on the under no circumstances should this person be allowed on school grounds a game board it was rumored that she was constantly rolling on mdma or she was just too cheerful and happy for the school system to tolerate you cannot distract the students from their testing with cheer and joy my shop teacher shattered his foot and was out for like six weeks we had this vietnam vet who liked to spend all period talking about the various stds he picked up during the war and all the different tale he chased over there but you had to be careful about the women over there bc sometimes they were boys in disguise that's one of the lessons he taught me i tease a trap my high school didn't hire outside subs teachers without classes or the priests would cover or if they really couldn't find anyone they called a parent from a list of volunteers my senior year i had a poetry class that basically no one including our ancient teacher gave a crap about the teacher a nun went on a retreat for a week and the school called up a mom the class decided that since our teacher was out and we were seniors we were all gonna ditch and do our own thing i was a student assistant to the teacher so i poked my head in about 10 minutes after class started there was this woman sitting at the computer staring blankly at an empty classroom hey just so you know they let us cancel this class and no one cares i told her she looked suddenly very relieved oh for a minute i thought the students were all ghosts she was completely serious instead of this ditching class she honestly thought the students were invisible she was a little odd one day my junior high shop teacher had to leave unexpectedly i guess there was a communication breakdown because that left the class in the period before mine without any supervision when my class came in after lunch a metal trash can had been thrown through the window between the classroom and the teacher's office scattering broken glass everywhere and mr regular teacher's name sucks dong was written on the chalkboard we were standing around looking at the carnage when the substitute showed up he took a look around side and said let's go outside and play football nobody reported anything and nobody even bothered to erase the chalkboard the regular teacher just found it when he showed up the next day that is freaking hilarious we had a sub that was an old black lady who always pronounced my name eron and then everyone would call me that for weeks ten years later key and peel let me know i wasn't alone i still don't let people know my first name is aaron though please don't name your children that we had one teacher let's call her missus miss s did not care at all about anything she would talk and write to the class but that was about it kids talking across the room met one kid choking another in front of her no biggie but you just think of going for that or heaven helps you if you were there when class started you were stuck there for an hour now missus never took attendance and toughed history so my friends and i would usually just ditch and go to the park near school one day we were all like hey let's go to class this time we can just talk through it anyway so there i was sitting at my desk when she walks into class and i see my friends waving at me and walking to the park the door was shut everyone started talking and i was doomed to two hours of infernal boredom f that threw my bag out the window and jumped out literally nothing happened she was cool with it also that one time we dared my friend to ninja crawl between the desks to escape class for 10 shekels he made it lol i jumped out of the window to ditch once too good times poor school had somebody called bigfoot sub it's exactly what it sounds like he was obsessed with proving bigfoot existence this area is a prime location for squatches they follow power line trails do the squatch call way finding bigfoot was such a weird show at the time in high school we thought he was really cool he was like 22 or 23 and would throw parties at this apartment and invite us he always signed our dismissal slips and late passes he would order food for the class or bring us to the store dunks during school this is so sad there was a substitute named mr wiener who went by mr w but had weiner on his substitute id i had a sub in chemistry class once who was a really smart guy and was just subbing to entertain himself in his old age he gave me a polished round jade stone with a hole in the middle for asking a good question in class i still have it he was really cool but unfortunately my school was full of jackasses who just wanted to make fun of subs no matter what i had a math teacher named mr wiener great teacher i was such a crappy student and he would always try hard with me this happened back in india our chemistry teacher had to go on a maternity leave so the principal of the school decided that his daughter can take cover for a while which was cool because she was hot but she would just come to the class and not say anything for one whole hour i mean literally she comes and just stands there for one hour and goes we had no idea wtf to do sounds like she didn't either we had a four feet eight inches male substitute teacher who looked like rick morinis and jimmy neutron had a baby he had thick glasses and used a clear plastic backpack to carry his things the perfect human let me preface this by saying he was not a weird person but it was interesting to see as a sixth grader we had a regular sub in middle school who had no arms and wrote on the board with his feet that's so cool we had a nice old man who would routinely substitute any class that needed him biology math spanish didn't matter he would be there he always told us we were required to write him an essay about einstein that was 30 pages or less every time einstein he got married to a lady in my neighborhood when they were both 70 plus years old he would tell all of us that it's never too late to find love a few months later he fell off a cliff it was quite sad d not a sub but there was an awkward but well-meaning teacher i had senior year that my friend group realized wore the same exact outfit every friday it was tan cargo pants with lace boats and a green button-up shirt tucked into his pants with the sleeves rolled once we noticed fridays were forever safari friday friday friday gotta explore on friday everybody is venturing into the jungle jungle in eighth grade my social studies teacher needed some type of surgery either back or hip surgery and our substitute teacher was with us for probably half the year she was in her had hair down to her butt and had major anger issues she screamed at us every single day pushed a kid against a locker told us she wasn't a racist because her niece was half black she was obsessive about her hair so one time we asked her if anita was dying and her last dying wish was to touch her hair would she let her touch it and she said no my language arts classroom was right next to this room and when i was in that class my teacher would often have to go over and ask her to stop screaming eventually enough students complained about her that we started a petition and she wasn't allowed to teach in our community anymore the school was split into three different wings based on academic levels none of us were particularly fond of our actual social studies teacher but we all breathed a sigh of relief when we saw him the first day back from his surgery recovery some of my friends still see that's up around town occasionally not sure if she remembers any of us because she just saw red all the time my mom was my substitute teacher a few times in middle school i never knew what to call her mrs blank or mom i ended up calling her what everyone else did which was mrs mom she also made me me her assistant every time i would run and make copies go get her a drink pass out papers etc good times this old guy named mr teeds not sure how it was spelled but it sounded like teats and as a high school student i was obligated to find that hilarious i was at a in a school with a teacher called ms but first day of class with ms but with 30 odd 11 year olds and i was baffled about how none of the kids were sitting there giggling i was internally laughing my butt off but not one of these kids cracked a smile that was the day i learned i was more immature than 30 11 year olds crap now is my time we had this guy throughout high school our district was decently small so that was 7 12. we rarely had him probably for obvious reasons but i guess when there were no other options they would choose him first off he carried around a briefcase with nothing in it other than a small stack of detentions which he called discipline referrals in bold because he always said that angrily is to be intimidating he would generally get through attendance pretty quickly but if he had to write anything on the board it took 50 percent of the class time because he always had to write in perfect cursive he swore by his handwriting degree and preached and i mean preached that how important cursive writing is i'm not saying it isn't but it was like we would die out as a species without it finally every once in a while we could convince him to wrap part of our lesson whatever it may be this truly is what he had a reputation for now just imagine the least capable person possible to ever wrap anything and make it twice as bad and you have our sub he would just take random words and stutter in between them and occasionally rhyme a word or two the best was a spelling wrap he did in english class bonus this guy was extremely gullible we could convince him of the most random things in a history class we started the day with current events around the world one of the students then told him that there was a horrible flood in italy and that venice is about 70 underwater we then spent the rest of the class learning about disaster recovery and hoping that the people in venice were okay rather than dealing with the actual lesson for the class the same thing happened in spanish let's just say he was saying things he didn't know he was saying tl dr gullible man with a basically empty briefcase and a handwriting degree embarrassed himself daily but everyone loved him because we wouldn't actually do any work ninth grade english another teacher at the school abruptly resigned and my english teacher had to go teach that class for the remainder of the year her replacement an oxford professor who went out of her way to make sure everyone referred to her as doctor why my public school in a dc suburb had an oxford professor substituting for freshman english as a mystery i may never solve i guess the only weird thing was their choice of career with their surnames but we had a mr hicken cute chicken themed taunts and jokes and mr whibley aka mr wibbly wobbly and every other stupid thing 11 16 year old can come up with we had a mr bolemy referred to as balant and a mr coombing both in the pay department less weird more just funny there was this guy who everyone knew as darren the magician this wasn't in high school btw he would just say frick the schoolwork your teacher left us and do crappy magic tricks the whole time those are the best haha we had a guy who was no lie probably 400 lbs and had one of those broom looking moustaches so naturally i only remember him as the walrus he would give us a reading assignment and tell us to read quietly then he would proceed to sit at the teacher's desk and sleep sitting up with his hands clasped over his rotund belly he was a super light sleeper though and if anyone made too much noise he'd wake up and yell at us a bit late but freaking miss dina miss tina was asian miss tina was about 40 miss tina only referred to miss tina in third person and miss tina didn't use any pronouns of any kind only miss dina yes dude miss dina arizona schools or mayo mrs f no matter what class she was substituting for she'd bring her guitar and play tambourine man and she could substitute all grades that mostly did elementary junior high so by eighth grade you knew every damned word to that stupid stupid song in the jingle jangle morning that song's following you i had one sub who had just finished her schooling and was smoking hot and she totally knew it too the thing is we were all freshman sophomores in high school so all the guys drooled over here she would flirt right back pretty blatantly if you ask me anyway one day i'm on facebook and frisky 15 year old me sees said substitute on my recommended friends on fb so of course i had her i was smitten by her next time i saw her she was really weird about it yet still flirty but we shouldn't be friends because you're my student but when you turn 18 i mean get out of school at me and we'll be friends i said okay and decided i would wait patiently as the years went by she would fill in for my teachers every once in a while so i would see her at least three four times a semester a couple days after graduation i added her and she accepted messaged me saying congrats on graduating and she's glad we can be friends finally a few days later i see her at a bar near my dad's restaurant totally by chance and i say hi she just looked at me worriedly said hello and basically ran away still bothers me to this day mr anderson in grade nine math he was the sketchiest person i have ever met always showed up high as a kite one day i made a matrix reference and said mr anderson like agent smith does he flipped his crap and demanded copyright claims and such which made no sense to me as a 14 year old he was a weird guy i had a middle school sub that would actively talk about and promote a mormon faith in a public school in north carolina that's probably the reason she wanted to be a substitute the blind one i can't remember her name but it was in fifth grade and she literally could not read from a normal book and she brought along a special projector that magnified everything to comical sizes and she still had trouble reading as long as students were silent they could get away with anything it was baffling that anyone thought she should lead a class even for a day we had an old black man mr coachman who was very crossied someone would throw a bowl of paper at him and he'd yell whoever just hit me with that just hit yo mama we had this one sub in middle school who was a crazy liar i don't know why he did it either he'd come in and say i'm mr crazy liar yesterday i was doing my other job as random made up second job why who wants to hear about it and i swear he started at least three or four of his lessons like that talked about himself or told stories most of the time then maybe taught you something first time it was interesting but second time it was a different job by the third time we were talking about it amongst ourselves and at some point someone called him on it i thought you said you were a firefighter and his reply no you must be thinking of some other teacher after maybe 10 or 15 times some of the jobs repeated but we basically always knew when he showed up we were gonna get some weird butt story eventually a kid told his mom who was also a teacher at the school and we never saw him sup again the list of supposed other jobs he had that i can remember were firefighter he used that one a lot police officer park ranger don't know what he said just remember lots of stories of him working in a provincial park high school supply teacher too some kind of hospital technician some kind of mechanic who worked on cars then it was trains that's all i remember but probably it was planes too sounds like a fake worker people do that shows up every day be polite friendly and act like you belong surprising no one questions you if you do it right i'm assuming he shows up tells everyone he's a sub and just runs the class if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

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Keywords: school, school stories, substitute teacher meme, substitute teacher, teachers, education, learning, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, reddit stories 2021

Id: mD7D1BV5bQQ

Length: 25min 31sec (1531 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 10 2021