What's The Worst Attempt At Using A Computer You've Seen?

what is the most computer illiterate thing you've witnessed we hired a guy for software testing we gave him a word document that was basically text and screenshots about the application he was supposed to test i left him alone for 30 minutes he finally came to me and told me that he could not log into the application i asked him what the error was and he said he could not get the login prompt to accept any text well he did not have the application up he only had the word document up he was trying to log into a screenshot of the application i couldn't help but laugh my butt off tldr new employee was trying to log into a screenshot when i was working at a fairly large firm we had a lady from mckinsey come talk to us about the future of the computer industry and where the company should be investing she did this too repeatedly attempting to log into a screenshot and she was absolutely clueless until some guy went and helped her all my lower teeth came loose when my jaw hit the floor with a thud i used to work tech support for a few ice i once had a customer call in he had just signed up and received his modem but couldn't get online after a few minutes i discovered that he didn't own a computer i worked for a telecommunications company doing installation of high speed data and cable we had an elderly woman calling to set up new internet service and she asked how call center rep do you supply a modem or will you use mine our rep stated that we will supply her with a modem when i got out to her house i asked where she would like it set up and she pointed to a monitor and a keyboard on a desk i looked around but didn't see her pc tower and it went like this me where's the rest of your computer her you guys said you'd bring the modem me yes i've got it right here but where's your tower her i threw it away you said you were bringing one she thought her pc case was a modem and tossed it thinking we would be supplying her with a brand new computer at least five times a year i have to deal with my computer froze up so i grabbed two double the batteries go over to the employee's desk and place the batteries in the mouse you should ask the company to stop buying wireless mice once i went to an office where the client was complaining that her computer broke at 10 o'clock every day so i aimed to get there for 9 30. 10 came and went and not a single error to report so i go and find the owner and tell her it's all okay she asked if i could stay on and just check the system over for her she offered me a cough which being a computer technician i obviously accepted so she reaches behind the computer pulls out the power cord and plus it into a small kettle by the computer she then points at the screen and screamed look it's just gone off again working in an office max about eight years ago the photo printing hype was just starting to get popular and everyone and their grandpa wanted a photo printer one day this old man at least 75 comes in and tells me he wants this particular hp photo printer 200 model i happily get one for him and ring it out fast forward about two days this old man calls the store and asks for me i talk with him for a brief period of time here is how the conversation played out me yes sir what can i help you with him hi you sold me that hewlett-packard photo printer the other day right me yep him it isn't printing photos me alrighty let me just run you through a few questions and hopefully we can get you to printing photos soon but first off you have it plugged into the wall and it is turned on right him yep the lights are all on and it is making noises me okay that's a good sign now i know i didn't sell you a usb cable are you using an existing cable to plug it into your computer um i don't have a computer me i see do you have a digital camera are you able to take the memory card out of your digital camera and plug that into the printer him i don't have a digital camera me oh okay what are you trying to print the photos from him i saw all those pretty photos it was printing in the store and i just wanted to have it print some pretty pictures to put up around my house me face up in those pictures are a part of a demonstration program that we use only in the store tell your what go ahead and bring the printer back we'll give you a refund on the printer and also give you a few high quality prints from the demo model to take home a tl dr old man bought a printer to print photos without any computer or camera thinking it would randomly print pretty pictures i don't know why but this made me enormously sad so a while back at the company i work at there was this senior vp in the legal division as a patent attorney this guy was one of the best patent lawyers at our company at the time really intelligent and a lot of people looked up to him and there were instances where the fate of the company was in his hands when the company was young and smaller now this guy has to deal a lot with patents and contracts right reading them editing them approving them and so on so with these documents that are typically around 20 pages but sometimes are up to 50 there is a lot of that involved the editing process for this guy however was slightly different you see he didn't know how to copy and paste so what does he do you ask he retypes every single contract and patent as it comes through even for just slight edits re-types the whole freaking thing 20 pages with every single document he gets he does this for two years before someone finds out and introduces him to copy and paste one of my favorite workplace stories i guarantee you this was actually part of his success if he was forced to rate type an entire document he'd have to process it in his own words explicitly which would help him truly understand what was going on and ergo provide the best suggestions for editing the patent this sounds like an interesting albeit tedious method to truly learn and understand something back in the early 90s we were using pro comb to support users remotely they just had to have a modem install the software and give us the number anyways most of our clients were small non-profit outfits typically staffed by older folks and one of them was having issues we tried and tried to connect got nothing asked them repeatedly do you have a modem is it plugged in turned on is it attached to the phone line is it attached to the computer etc etc all yes so eventually we decided we'd have to make the two plus hour drive to their location to help them in person but the modem was duct taped to the side of the monitor with nothing connecting it to the computer except the tape this must have been around 2003 i was working in it at a big ad agency in nyc i was doing a database project which dealt with financial data i went down to accounting to sort some things out with one of the users when i got there i looked over the woman's shoulder while she was working and i saw that she had an excel spreadsheet open the sheet had had a column of numbers along with some other data i then watched as she manually added up the numbers on an adding machine sitting on her desk and then typed in the total i was flawed it turned out the entire department worked like this i tried to explain to her that excel will do that automatically but i was unable to get through after a couple of attempts i just gave up and went back upstairs i once spent nearly 20 minutes walking a user through copy paste and save as in word by the end of the call i was sitting slumped over with my head on my desk muttering into my headset i'd try to write up a transcript but my mind has long since blocked the details of that memory older woman using the address book on her computer her how do i send an email me click on mail in the doc her clicks on mail where did my address book go me it's behind the mail window her looks behind the monitor i work in the document management industry basically this means my company makes software that turns your filing cabinets off paper into searchable indexed pdfs i currently develop software for the company but when i started i was on the road five days a week doing installs and training here's my best story that came out of it after training a woman on the software she asked me before i left a question about an email that the salesman from my company sent her i said i didn't know about that email and could she please forward it to me so i could read the chain she said sure hold on and then executed the following chain of events she printed the email i figured she was just going to hand me that and be done with it most people can't get past using paper despite my best efforts she then took the print out and left her office i very confusedly followed her out the door she walked down the hallway outside her office to the photocopier and then proceeded to make a copy of the printed email i figured once again okay i guess she wants to have a copy for herself for some reason she then took the copy and walked right past me back into her office and sat down at her desk on her desk was a desktop scanner she then proceeded to put the photocopy of the email onto the scanner and hit scan at this point i am bewildered she then takes the scanned image attaches it to an email in outlook addresses the email to me types fwd in the subject line and sends me the email so then i hand on my blackberry a blank email with an attached image of the email she said she would forward me needless to say i was flawed tldr woman instead of hitting forward email printed the email made a copy of it scanned the photocopy of the email back into her computer attached it to an email and sent me that the biggest problem is that people who are computer illiterate incorrectly assume that their machine is smarter than them and that's why they don't understand how to use computers but in actuality computers have no idea what you want them to do if you don't tell them in the few ways they understand things the second biggest issue is impatience and reluctance to read instructions if you were looking for your keys in your house you don't immediately give up if they don't show up when you say where is my keys best line i've heard that summarizes this a computer is a fast idiot i taught a university class with another instructor which required students to install a bit of software to help them i recorded a screen capture film of the installation process with my voice over my co-instructor was not very computer proficient so i played it for him to see if he could follow the instructions we got to the end of the video and he says great work that was really easy rather pleased with myself i prompted him to try installing the software what do you mean isn't it installed no that was just the instructional video what do you mean what you watched was a video of how to install the software it didn't actually install the software did something go wrong with the installation best response when you watch an infomercial about a new stain remover it doesn't in fact remove the stains from the clothing in your dirty laundry basket i can never change the home page in my mom's browser from google or she can't use the internet the internet is gone also if she minimizes a window it's gone forever i also administratively locked the dock on her mac because things kept disappearing aka she clicked and dragged on accident and removed safari from the dock i've also had the internet is gone as you but also because the internet explorer icon had been deleted this isn't my story but my dad's he had his own little business for a while doing computer repairs he got a call from a middle-aged woman complaining that every time she tried to reach the icons on the right side of her screen her mouse would fall off the side of her desk my dad replied have you tried lifting the mouse up and moving it to the left her oh thanks my dad ran into someone once that would place the literally take the mouse and place it on the screen to move the cursor their accuracy was subpar since they couldn't see the cursor underneath their mouse my dad double clicks on links every time but he's been using computers for 30 plus years and is pretty much the go to tech support and his company of 20 plus employees he's fairly normal with everything else that one thing just bugs me woman i can't copy this file me all right where is it woman with my files me could you show me where it is let's work this out woman opens microsoft word goes to the menu and hits open the file in question was some database file so it doesn't open woman see me let's go to your desktop and open my documents woman closes word back to the empty desktop and proceeds to open word open dialog woman i can do this normally opens a document file save as network drive save me i'll rig it go back to your desktop now click on the icon that says my documents woman word is my documents me please mom let me show you i grab the mouse exit word and teach her that my document exists outside of word and that you can drag files to save as them that day we figured out why that department had been asking for so many recoveries i worked for an old guy who had no concept of opening files from windows explorer if he wanted a word doc he would open word and then open the document same for excel the funny thing was if he didn't know what application the file was in he would open each one in turn looking for the file used to work at a library with a public computer lab so i've seen it all my personal favorite guy who has probably never used a computer before sits down and then proceeds to pick up the mouse and point it at the computer screen like a remote to try to select things he was actually a time traveler from the future and couldn't understand your library's primitive technology me how can i help you her yeah um i know um you can um get bugs in your computer how do i stop that from happening me wait do you think you have a virus or something her no bugs me i'm not sure what you mean huh well when i went to um move my computer today there were these little bugs under the desk and i wanted to know if those um are the bugs that get in your machine me silence her are these the bugs i then had to explain to her that the computer bugs are not actual insects it's a nice throwback to why bugs are called bugs client did you receive the document i emailed to you me number i see an email from you but no attachment client i'll try again right now stay on the line okay me sure thing client did you get it me number it's another email with no attachment client i'll keep trying my inbox is flooded with emails with no attachment i know the client is an older person so i intervene me tell me how you're trying to send this document to me and i'll try to help maybe you're doing something wrong client well i start a new email and address it to you then i put my cursor over the paperclip icon to get it ready then i take the document and hold it to my screen aka monitor then i hit enter to attach it to the email then i hit send i'm doing it right right me here let me give you my fax number instead i develop software for a living our software is typically used by older nurses ladies at one point we got a tech support call that went a little like this phone ring tech support lady thank you for calling blurp tech support how can i help you nurse yes my computer is doing something weird support okay can you explain your problem to me nurse if i walk away from the computer sometimes when i come back there is a picture of a man riding a scooter on it support i'm sorry nurse repeats support okay it only happens if you leave the computer alone for a bit nurse yes maybe five minutes support i think that is your screen saver nurse what support your screen saver it pops up when your computer is idle for a while nurse uh what support you're here let me just remote into you and leave it open for a bit and see if i see it nurse okay great so i should just leave it alone for a while support sure i'll call you when i figure it out nurse great support remotes in right clicks desktop open screen saver it's a man riding a scooter disables screen saver calls nurse back support hello is this nurse nurse yes support i've fixed the issue for you you should no longer see a man riding a scooter on your computer nurse oh thank you support my pleasure i worked phone tech support during dial-up days needless to say i have a lot of stories like a guy using his mouth like a foot pedal a woman who couldn't get her computer during power outage and a woman with horrible static on their phone line caused by an electric fence to keep the bears out but 99 of phone calls went like this caller i can't get online me what does the error message say click click caller it says no dial tone me too standard power outage fix me okay sir go to your microwave sir er okay me switch it on sir it's broken as well me phone your power company click i saw someone once take a digital photo of their computer screen then upload it back onto their computer to be emailed bit ashamed but i've had to do this back in my windows days my installation was all nuts and buggy and would not print screen among other things also do this if i kill my bootloader or some other crap during boot oh hi there command line login my grandparents asked me to come over because their computer wasn't working what was happening was they couldn't hear any sounds from the computer i unmuted the computer and turned on the volume at my last job my boss was fairly proficient with excel and he loved to use it he made a spreadsheet for just about everything and even had some knowledge on using formulas but every time he wanted to save progress on something he was working on he would x out of the window and click yes when the pop-up came up asking if he would like to save his document he would then open the spreadsheet again and resume working on it drove me absolutely batshit crazy when i was working help desk a long time ago cad engineer thought rebooting her machine was turning the monitor off and back on how the frick could she operate cat my mother accidentally deleted some icons on her desktop she called me up freaking out that she deleted aol yes she still pays for aol and all of her emails and email addresses were gone forever my ex's mother screamed bloody murder at her daughter for signing out of her email she thought if you weren't signed in you didn't get the emails i swear to god she was absolutely freaking out and she's a cpa my dad drove me all the way out to his office so i could fix his computer at work in his words he did something to it and now it was not working when he shows it to me the first thing i see is the loose dangling chords for the monitor keyboard and mouse fasopam you fix the stupid problem in two minutes and say welp all fixed time to go lets them bask in their own ignorance i used to work for the civil service some managers working remotely would ask their secretaries to print emails and post them to them because they didn't feel comfortable using email in a similar thread a few months ago someone who worked at a computer type place had a customer who would come in a couple times a year to buy a new laptop battery the fellow didn't realize you could recharge laptop batteries i once saw my mom trying to drag and drop a file across two laptop monitors you have to use an external mouse for that plug mouse into one computer right click select copy unplug the mouse plug it into the other laptop right click select paste we used to have a woman in the office who would get a document in an email print it out scan it and then save it for our records on our server i was in qfc grocery store the other day and someone had clearly signed on the digital signature pad using a pen their name was there for everyone to see how dumb they were i've seen that in almost every place i've ever shopped in very disconcerting an engineer doing technical drawings in excel with the monitor brightness turned almost all the way down i asked what he was doing and he said he preferred working in dos my dad he'll ask for help i'll press buttons and fix it then he'll say things like so that command line four zero abs03208409 three two is doing some crap to my quantum processing hardware but i figured something out crap like that i'm not sure if he's bad at describing things or just tries to figure things out on his own it's nice that he's learning but i get the feeling that he comes to his own horribly inaccurate conclusions me okay dad i'm going to teach you some computer basics dad okay fine me do you know what a web address is dad yes me okay what's a web address dad it's where a spider lives my dad used to write his emails in notepad then attached them to his email and send them my dad got p offered bill gates for some ungodly reason so he deleted windows then he found out that he needs windows to use his computer i'm pretty sure his tech guy hates him this'll show him when i was in middle school i sat next to a guy who navigated to google after visiting another website he highlighted the entire google search page then proceeded to hover his finger over the delete button on the keyboard apparently thinking that pressing the button would permanently erase google from the world wide web he looked at me and said do you demi i don't know man that could get you in trouble i replied he pushed the button and proceeded to freak out when he was taken back to the previous page thinking he was about to be in serious trouble for single-handedly eradicating a prominent website i myself am not technologically inclined and i'm not up to date with a lot of the gadgets that are on the market i once thought that an ipad was a phone and put it up to my ear and mouth as though it were one i remember everyone's laughter as i was told what it really is i would be a dang big phone had a lady tell me that you should always keep a computer warm because you don't want it catching a bug or virus this was in 1997 so it'd say she was ahead of her time my dad once tried to delete the internet he was getting frustrated at our slow computer and so he shouted frickit and tried to delete the internet by deleting the shortcut i'll say it again shortcut to internet explorer and he thought by doing so he deleted the internet from the entire world this sounds reasonable when he tries to get back on tell him he's banned for vandalism i have a few one was someone complained that their browser wasn't working had a look at it the wind connected to the internet woman asked me why her laptop wasn't charging had a look at it the plug wasn't switched on was creating a results booklet for an experiment in human biology started to create a table in microsoft word the girl next to me shouts you're using the wrong program you can't get grids in text editors ah yes the good ol i know better than you and you're doing it wrong reply i have some sort of but clenching reflex that goes off every time that happens classic if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 102,526

Rating: 4.9097252 out of 5

Keywords: computer illiterate, internet, computers, how to use a computer, noobs, internet newbies, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: mT-7pjrg7yU

Length: 26min 11sec (1571 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 12 2020