What's The Weirdest Thing That Happened in The Bathroom?

what's the weirdest thing that happened to you while sitting on the toilet just last week I was sitting there on the toilet and I felt something like a drop of water rolled down as if from the rim down the bottom part of my bum I lifted my leg and just kinda wiped the general area with some tissue as I continued it happened again but this time it felt more like wet hair brushing along my bum to that inguinal area there so I got up and looked in the bowl to see this huge butt centipede hanging on the inside of the rim I crapped you not I don't know whether to laugh will be absolutely freaking horrified oh my god I would have died this didn't happen to me but I caused it to happen to someone else sitting on the toilet it was during the first week at a new summer job and I got a massive me brain mine are usually accompanied by tremendous nausea so I usually end up vomiting Lots I was about to leave early to go home and realize I have to poop before I go I run into the bathroom two of the three stalls are occupied I rush into the empty one on the end lift the seat and unload breakfast and lunch it came out so quickly and ferociously that I couldn't really aim properly and sprayed most of it all over the floor and walls after most of it shot out I flush toilet is clogged sucker starts overflowing toilet water and vomit pour over the side the floor in the bathroom is slanted away from my stool and towards the middle one all my puke is now moving towards the man squatting in the center stall his life gets worse my vomiting cause the dude on the other side of him to also start throwing up as well and he's got a slanty floor to sent a man now has two people vomiting on either side of him and all their vomits are streaming straight for him he just starts screaming then I run away commerce sent a man now has two people vomiting on either side of him and all their vomits are streaming straight for him he just starts screaming this had me nearly crying with laughter I was in Nicaragua and I got a nasty parasite I woke up in the middle of the night and realized I needed to be in the bathroom stat I took off running before I remembered to grab shoes but I had already started crapping my pants so it was too late to turn back I reached a bathroom that had a few inches of water on the ground a toilet with no seats and no running water holy crap literally and figuratively pure fluids on top of all that there was a hole in the ceiling and when I turned on the light a bat flew out and started freaking out and flew in circles over me I just sat and prayed that God would kill me at work last week some guy in the stall next to me was constantly talking to himself or the toilet or the toilet paper and he is also constantly wiping himself getting more paper off the roll wiping more for six or seven minutes straight first flush Oh Frick please don't clog second flush doesn't go down either pipes finally cleared after five or six flushes and then he staggers out of the bathroom still mumbling to himself the entire time without washing his hands that sounds like a guy I work with I was crapping when he came in to pee and he didn't realize he was there and started talking to his dong saying things like oh that's a nice bit of skin there and even worse know his name but his name you can't think things like that at work it was a genuinely terrifying experience sat down pulled out phone open Temple Run and on course to top my high score over 4,000,000 up to sit and keep playing play for a long time play until I lose finish my business stand up realize both legs are completely asleep somehow managed to get off the seat only for my legs to give out collapse falling headfirst into the stall door yes at work had to explain to boss why I and I'll have large bump on head sir I don't think you fully understand the gravity of the situation once you're on a roll in Temple Run you can't just stop playing when I was in the dorms my freshman year of college I sat in the communal bathroom to take a crap and some guy came in sat down in the stall next to me and started singing after a minute or sell he stopped and said he always had to sing to get his poop started in public places as he used to not be able to poop unless it was at home I wanted to let him know that singing to start pooping was weirder than not being able to poop in public but who am I to ruin his accomplishment so in the bathroom lived this big butt black spider he had a web on the magazine rack next to the toilet and we lived for weeks in peace so one day I'm on the toilet and I pick up a puzzle magazine and open it to where I'd left the pen and the dang big bus spider was in the magazine on that page and slides right out onto my crotch I jumped up screamed and he slid off me into the toilet where I flushed him then I felt awful for a long time I could have saved the poor guy it's in my panic I wanted him away spider bro I once went paralyzed and went blind while attempting to take a crap I'm in class at the moment so can't give the full story but I might edit it in while at lunch it was a horrifying experience to say the least this just happened the other day I go in the bathroom sit down on the throne to pee when I get that feeling that I'm not alone in the bathroom while still sitting I pull back the shower curtain and see my youngest sister just standing in the shower apparently she went in there planning to jump out at our mom who always goes in there when she comes home from work to brush her teeth and didn't know what to do when I came in there to pee it was weird your mom sounds like a secret cigarette smoker I was 16 ish using the restroom at my local theater when a three year old boy climbed under my store door clearly my first instinct as it came through was to use my foot to keep his head from entering but I worried if someone came in they'd think I was attacking him or something I tried telling him to get out but he just stared at me while I quickly finished and then bolted his parents owned it so he wandered around unsupervised all the time he'd be about 16 today I wonder if he's a total perv this happens a lot in women's rooms a little kid will crawl under the door at you I entered Michael's the arts and crafts store while finishing my McNasty is breakfast meal after about 15 minutes of searching through the store and not finding what I needed I felt my stomach start to gargle letting me know it was time to do the deed now I hate crapping in public bathrooms because I'm a firm believer of home-field advantage but time was ticking and figured Michaels arts and crafts should have clean men's restrooms of course I choose the handicap stall so I have enough room for comfort so I'm sitting there already dropped the kids off at the pool and was just getting ready to wipe when the door to the bathroom slams open almost immediately a horrendous smell wafted through the room the person hurried to the stall next to me while I'm sitting there I'm looking under the crack to see why the smell was so bad yes creeping first the shoes come off then the socks then the pants and then at the same freakin time the whitey-tighties and a cow patty sized pancake of crap smacked the ground at that point I was gagging trying to wipe as fast as I could to get out but it was like one of those dreams when you're fighting and your punches are slow and ineffective eventually I got out but I will always remember the day an old dude crap himself at Michaels but I'll mainly remember that sound that crap made when it smacked the floor that poor man when I was 8 or so a frog hopped into my underwear I guess my mom found it in our bathtub the day before and thinking it was a bath toy she scooped it up with the other toys and put it in this little bin of toys we hired then when I was sitting on the toilet it hopped right into my under I heard a rumbling and a high-pitched whine coming up from beneath Lafleur suddenly a drill bit as wide as my thumb pops out through the tile not 30 centimeters in front of me the idiots working in the store downstairs had drilled straight through the ceiling and into my bathroom a pretty strong earthquake happened while my husband was on the [ __ ] strong earthquakes are not common or likely around here mid-atlantic eastern US I believe it was when I was in Banff anyways me and my family were on a hike when we decided to stop for a bathroom break I went in dropped my drawers and sat down I was about an unload when I heard a quack turns out there was a duck trapped at the bottom of the toilet and it couldn't get out crapping in the mall food court restroom and a fire alarm went off at first I figured it was a joke and continued to play on my phone a minute later my girlfriend is calling me asking if I made it out safe talk about a crappy ride home whilst I was sitting on the pan in Walmart the lock was broken on a door just after dropping a deuce I noticed the door opening slowly there stood a young boy maybe 12 with Down's syndrome he stared at me and said are you okay startled I said yeah man I'm good he smiled and closed the door I hear him walking about and in no time I notice a roll of toilet paper being pushed towards me under the cubicle door by this point I was scared and confused I noticed you ran out of toilet paper sir then he leaves the dude was a hero he saved me doing a penguin walk to the next cubicle and that day we dubbed him forest dump I was visiting relatives in India and I woke up at like 3:00 a.m. cause I had to take a crap so I go to the bathroom and I see this huge spider just chillin on top of the toilet so I proceeded to sit backwards and take a dump all while this spider is just looking at me and never used that toilet again freaking spiders man I had a friend that had recently moved to a new area and asked me to come stay with him a few days while he was settling in I am driving a few hours away from home on the Cumberland Parkway when I feel that rumble in my tummy Oh Gord I speed up a little while simultaneously clenching my butt cheeks in hopes a gas station will appear over the horizon I pull off the next exit and race towards the gas station located close by clenching cheeks of rage I walk into the gas station and it's like the scene of dumb and dumber where Harry hits the guy with the sauce straight out of a movie truck as local rednecks I proceed to the bathroom still clenching both cheeks oh Lord I aah let me hold this baby and I run into the closest stall and unload are the quick feeling of relief I notice something in my peripheral vision and about six inches from my head as the biggest song I have ever seen disgusting glory hole well it's not going to suck itself I sat down to take a pee I always sit when I'm at home I have no wish to wipe my own pee stains away had to crap and sat there for 15 minutes because I didn't stop hey on in the sitter I was wondering if I was the only guy on earth who sat at home up high I was stationed in Japan for two years nearing the end of my tour in Japan the big 9.0 earthquake hit this is how it went down for me it was about 2:15 in the afternoon can't remember the time hardly wore a watch and I was about to head up to a location to do some work I told my co-workers to just wait up for me as I had an urgent need to crap I make my way over to the stool and expel the biological warhead while still on the toilet pants around my ankles the stalls begin to shake okay just another earthquake we've had plenty of these whited out it didn't start imagine horrible turbulence on an aircraft if you will the walls began to shake violently dust from the ceiling tiles began to descent and the lights were flickering as crappy water from the toilet was being splashed about I had decided there and then it was time to wipe and go lights go out crap I can't find the toilet paper I frantically search for the TP wipe and stumble like a drunkard out of the bathroom people are hanging around in the hallways trying to stand up I see people starting to evacuate then it occurs to me I didn't flush at this point only emergency lights were on and it was pitch-black in the bathroom I didn't care if I died or not all I could think about was not being that guy who crap and ditched with crap water all over the floor mission accomplished toilet flushed I think you're a real hero well first I sat down on the [ __ ] next I got on reddit of course what followed was a usual crap however when I stood to wipe I came to the realization that my pants were still on Frick I had just fallen down a few days before and scraped my head my hair was very short at a time so you could see an alley scab on the back of my head one day I sat down to book and it was a stubborn bastard a bas turd if you will I apparently didn't have much fiber in my diet at a time so I was pushing like a soon-to-be mother then I heard felt this pop it was my scab I reopened it from straining so dang hard TL DR strained pooping reopened a scab on my head a few months ago I was pooping in my dorm bathroom we have four stools and two more urinals per floor I was in the only clean stall at a time drunk Saturday night out of nowhere the alcoholic freshman of our floor slides under the stall door reaches out and grabs my dong shaking it while saying pleased to meet you he slid back out and I didn't see him for the rest of the night needless to say I felt very very weird after that I sleep naked woke up in the middle of the night and I had to crap so I went and sat down on the toilet I was there for about a minute than I hear a noise downstairs I dismiss it as nothing until I hear footsteps coming up the stairs I look around for a weapon but I could find nothing so I took the TP off the rack by pitching a recreational baseball league so I have a strong arm stab the Doran launched the TP at the intruders face then hurl myself at him we wrestled but he manages to get up and run down the stairs and out the door I called the cops and he got caught TL DR naked ly wrestled a robber after launching a roll of TP at him I swear I find the best stories in the bottom of the stack I fainted I'm not sure why but it was really creepy because as soon as I sat on the seat I knew how the night was going down one time I was in the bathroom at school taking a dump and I was wearing my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles underpants halfway through my dumper kid goes into the stool next to mine and compliments me on my TMNT boxers I was taking a crap at my brother-in-law's house it was a big one so I wanted to find something to read I found this book of poetry in a basket on his toilet tank I open up and read the dedication page it turns out my brother-in-law has a gay lover and his RM cook I was peeing and my there's a glass block wall right next to the toilet for the shower something moving caught my eye I look in literally three inches away from my face was a huge pile met o bug I just jumped up screamed and ran while I was still peeing I'm a 22 year old who not only peed on myself that in my room and down the hallway TL Dr Dee saw water shoots up causing me to lose my backdoor virginity we have this outside shed type thing attached to the side of my house and we have a bathroom in it the pipes and everything go underneath it well anyways I went out there to take a crap took my phone with me so I could read it while I was on the toilet I was pleasantly taking my crap a little constipated but nothing to worry about halfway through my crap I heard some hissing sort of noise but didn't pay much attention to it a few minutes later a huge blast of water sprayed up from the bottom of the toilet it was unpleasant surprise for my leather donut and my phone was ruined the whole bathroom was soaking wet and there was a steady stream of high-pressure water coming through one of the broken pipes I ran outside and turned off the water from the main pump upon further research I found out that some of the neighbor kids had come over into our yard gotten underneath the shed it was raised up and knocked around some of the pipes found the live snake wrapped around the back of the toilet once in the office where I worked almost sat down to do my thing but I did a double-take I'm glad I did I believe that the snake wasn't of the poisonous variety it was Dart like brown colored another time I was doing my thing in a different office bathroom and noticed a small bit less than an inch long scorpion running along the floor to the corner tight butthole mode was immediately activated never got out of a bathroom that fast before my office is in Florida I knew we had snakes but not scorpions I'm not born and raised here in born and raised in Florida and I just found out we had scorpions a couple days ago apparently they reside in the roots of trees and rarely come out ate two boxes of fruity pebbles in around three hours and had rainbow-colored crap I still don't know how I should react to it I know my mom had something weird happened she said that when she was a kid she was sitting on the toilet and a roach crawled down from her leg yes down I was at this coffee shop with a friend of mine went to take a crap and this couple stuck up the place while I was doing it one time there was a fly buzzing around the bathroom my sister had left one of those hair tie scrunchie things the thing similar to rubber bands that make ponytails anyway I picked up the scrunchie and hit the firemen flight I was shocked I killed the fly direct hit while flying on the toilet crapping with a hair scrunchie it was the weirdest thing I've experienced on the toilet and made me feel like a ninja i crap you not have you ever suddenly gotten so frisky that you had to stop what you were doing and relieve some pressure so that you couldn't focus again if you have ever been an adolescent male chances are that you have so it's my first year of college and I am sitting in class suddenly I need to go jerk it immediately I spend a couple of minutes trying to ignore the urge but finally I decide that the best idea would be to excuse myself to the bathroom for a moment and get it out of my system I stand up quietly and leave the lecture hall heading for the men's room now when I got to the bathroom there seemed to be something strange about it but I couldn't figure out what in particular was different there was no one there though so I shrugged it off and went into a stall to do my business a few minutes later someone comes in and walks into another one of the stalls I silently swear and try to make as little noise as possible then another person walks in clears her throat and goes into the stall next to me huh wait a second Frick that's right I had managed to accidentally masturbate in the women's bathroom I hid in the stall for 20 minutes before the bathroom was finally clear for me to run and pray that no one noticed I get the urge to masturbate in the women's bathroom all the time but I am NOT as brave as you sir I had my first ever anxiety attack while sitting on the throne I was 12 and screamed for my mum I thought I was dying it didn't happen to me but I had to deal with the aftermath my wife called me at work freaking out because she was on the toilet when she heard a bloop sound and something slapped her on the butt it was a giant rat that came up through the sewer anyway she closed the lid and waited for me to come home to deal with it I ended up having to drown it with a plunger good times ah New York New York the city so nice they named it twice I got stage fright dropped this tiny but little turd that made the jealous little plop I say to the guy in the stool next to me well this is awkward and start laughing he doesn't respond or laugh or anything so I had to poop insanely badly a few seconds ago but by now I'm just sitting here trying to force it out without sounding like I have a hernia in this silent bathroom as I force it out I feel it but wait another tiny one wipe my butt and I get the freak out I get nosebleeds very easily and it's been this way almost my entire life I've had my nose cauterized three times but I'm pretty certain the doctor that did it just didn't know what he was doing as that's never helped me but seven-year-old me sits down to take a crap at home and I start pushing pretty hard as soon as the turtle head started to emerge my nose started pouring blood as I'm crapping out a small toddler but the only thing within reach to stop myself from getting blood everywhere is toilet paper so I grab a nice wad and press it against my face at 4550 minutes later the toilet is full of crap and blood-soaked toilet paper I go to flush and of course the toilet wasn't having any of that so I did what any seven-year-old would do called for my mother she sees nothing but a mess of blood-soaked toilet paper and a Leviathan monster crap and flips out thinking I told my butthole or something but sadly nothing more really transpired from that as she still had enough of her mind to listen to me explain that it was my nose that was bleeding and that the only thing we required was a plunger not a paramedic TL DR had a nosebleed while taking a colossal dump mother thought my butthole was destroyed just last week I was pooping in a bar and a man in a wheelchair came in obviously can use the urinal and proceeded to make and hold direct eye contact with me through the crack in the stall door for the entire duration of my crap needless to say I turned around and wiped a while ago while driving somewhere with a friend I really needed to pee at the next stop I jump out of the car run into the restroom to find both of the urinals being closed so I enter the stall and start to pee when I suddenly see some money being pushed under the store wall but must have been like 100 euros in smaller bills our crap a dealer toilet so I passed it to the next toilet from which I got a pack of dope obviously I grabbed my junk pacted the way grabbed the dope and ran to the car free dope I don't know if this counts as weird but sometimes when I am sitting on the toilet it decides to empty the bowl of water a little bit and then that thing in the tank releases and puts more water in it as if someone flushed it it scares the crap out of me every time and I jump up if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video bye for now

Channel: UE Studios

Views: 23,369

Rating: 4.9000001 out of 5

Keywords: sitting, toilet, sitting on the toilet, weirdest things, weirdest thing that happened, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: 9iRa3m9wV8c

Length: 24min 10sec (1450 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 30 2020