What's the Greatest Thing You've Gotten Away With?

what's the greatest thing you've gotten away with when i was in seventh grade i wanted to go home early from school so i filled my mouth with soup at the end of lunch but when the next class started i dramatically went up to the front and threw up the soup in the trash can my mom picked me up and i stayed home the next day too i told her like 15 years later and in hindsight she found it hilarious you'll be amazed at the crap us parents actually think is funny as heck sometimes we have to do the right thing at the time sometimes it's only funny in retrospect when i was 18 i went to a casino in minnesota with my roommates they gave us wristbands since we were under 21 and we cut those off in the bathroom right away i sat at a slot machine that had an mtb a bottle sitting on it and started smoking a cig a waitress came by and swapped the empty bottle for a full one without even stopping as long as i had a bottle with me they kept serving me i was a scissor happy child loved cutting whatever i could get my grubby little fingers on including one time my pinky knuckle which required a trip to the doctor for some stitches so my parents were aware of my little hobby one day while they were away we had a nanny my mom's sister while dad worked and mom was in school and we were unsupervised i cast my own bangs and convinced my little sister two or three at the time to let me cut hers too i butchered us i wish i could find the picture when we were found and questioned i panicked and said my sister had done it everyone asked well why the heck did you let her cut your hair i told them she told me to close my eyes and i didn't know she was cutting it until it was too late they believed me my sister didn't get in much trouble because she was so young for years i kept up the charade i thought for sure my parents knew but it was long ago now and i'd gotten off the scissors i only found out in adulthood that my parents really and truly believed me all those years but my mom was shocked when i told her it was actually me while we were going through old pictures of me and my sister with our bangs sticking out every which way comma for years i kept up the charade i thought for sure my parents knew but it was long ago now and i'd gotten off the scissors are not context i broke our fancy glass water pitcher it wasn't anything super expensive or an antique or anything along those lines just a cool looking glass picture we needed it so that we could feel fancy while drinking our juice concentrate i guess one day i was thirsty and we didn't have any juice made and the pitcher was in the dishwasher it had just been run and was hot to the touch perfect i thought as i set it on the counter and grabbed the can of orange juice from the freezer with as warm as it is it'll melt the oj really fast and i won't have to wait to drink so i poured the juice in and then started putting in the water as i did that i started hearing a weird popping sound i checked the dishwasher to see if it was coming from there it wasn't and i just couldn't figure out where the sound was coming from when i poured in another can of water i heard the popping sound again and a large crack appeared running up the side of the pitcher i suddenly remembered that when very hot things meet with very cold things it can cause warping and cracking to occur especially with a fragile object like glass i promptly drained the pitcher planning on putting it back in the dishwasher and pretending that nothing ever happened but i knew that i couldn't just put it back it had oj pulp all around the bottom my mom would know that i had tried to put juice in it okay new plan rinse it first and then put it back so i started rinsing it and the bottom fell out the entire bottom of the jug fell off and clanged around in the sink i thought for a second that it would shatter and that all my plans would be rendered useless i knew that i would get in trouble for breaking the picture i might even get yelled at but it didn't shatter aside from not being connected any longer the bottom chunk was okay so i picked it up and connected it back and it fit perfectly aside from being broken it looked pretty good fit back together and with no pulp remaining i put the pitcher back in the dishwasher and walked away eventually dishes were emptied and much to my mom's annoyance she discovered her glass pitcher was broken we bought another one next time we were at the store and we were given specific instructions to only wash it by hand to this day my mom will sometimes warn me about washing glassware in the dishwasher you need to be careful when you're washing glass remember that glass pitcher we used to have i don't know what happened but somehow it broke in the dishwasher the whole bottom fell out when i inspected it that was 20 years ago illusion 100 earlier this year when i was broke as frick i bought a slice of pizza knowing dang well i didn't have enough money in my account but i was so hungry that i tried anyway fps machine said transaction declined but the lady didn't notice and gave me my slice of pizza i felt really bad about it but holy crap i got so lucky very possible she let you keep the pizza and she paid for it herself later once went to flamingo land with my aunt and uncle have no idea how but we managed to accidentally go into the back exit just so happened that security was lacking and when we realized our mistake we walked through the park and tried to pay at the front but they weren't paying attention and so just stamped our hands thinking we wanted to get out would have cost 140 pounds for the four of us i accidentally snuck into a country asking for the bathroom in an airport where they didn't speak english drunk at a music festival saw there was a 15 year old kid working at the foot long corn dog booth walked up and waited for a couple seconds kid looked at me and said did you already pay said yes and had the greatest corn dog of my life like taking corn dogs from a teenager cheating on a final exam in college i had the same prof for three different classes in my final semester including the 450 course in one class a group of us would stay in the room after the prof left to study hangout because room wasn't used right after and the prof didn't mind shortly after he left i noticed that he left his jump drive in the computer tower this was about 12 years ago and each room had a computer or two for both the profs and students to use freely simply went up to the computer and copied all the files to my jump drive when i checked it later i found a gold mine of documents spreadsheets quizzes and tests to all the classes he taught including the final exam to the capstone course for my major i had no idea exactly what might be on there and i was flawed at what i had found it would have been best to keep it to myself after all if i managed to get caught it could have comprised my entire college career so what did i do i told the dumbest person i knew of course my best friend from my hometown and the same major who was taking the same for 450 class i won't go into stories about his antics but let's just say he had a reputation fast forward to exam day we memorized the test and agreed to get a few wrong on purposes to not arouse suspicion what i failed to discuss with him was to sit there long enough to not arouse suspicion for a test that took most about an hour he popped up after 15 minutes and slapped the test on the pros desk and practically skipped out of the room i couldn't believe it i sat next to him in class and it was super awkward after he left i acted like i hadn't already finished two and waiting for a few others to finish first before leaving don't cheat kids stay in school i ditched 5th period every single day of my sophomore year of high school to go catch snakes with my friend behind the school caught a lot too when i was about 7 or eight i realized that my friends and i could walk to the corner store and buy candy bar and our parents would never know so we did and our parents never knew it seemed small but at the time it was amazing it was the first step to independence my friends and i did this also we'd get a couple bucks doing little jobs for neighbors and walk up to quick mart for some candy my mom was 100 against it but my dad didn't mind since it was usually four of us kids and it's like a five-minute walk i work at a five-star restaurant and it was my last day for a time as i was going abroad for a semester to this point my reputation with the restaurant was good my managers liked me along with the staff and i was told that once i returned there would be a job waiting for me a few hours until my shifter man flagged me over to his table and told me that he had been sitting for around 25 minutes hadn't been attended to at all besides his drink arriving and he wanted to pay for the drink and leave this is also when i realized that my manager had done something different with the typical seating chart and this man was actually in my section i apologized told him his drink was honest and he walked out of the restaurant without saying a single thing to anyone had he mentioned to any of my managers or the staff that he had been completely ignored for close to half an hour i most certainly would have been fired on the spot and my job in five months would have completely disappeared along with a great reference instead i panicked for about 20 minutes thinking someone would see it on the cameras managers checked cameras daily calmed down and finished my shift with no one else being the wiser dang if that's all it takes to erase months or years of goodwill that's not a place i would want to work at lol when i was 16 i bought some new jeans and paid for them with cash they were 34 and i paid with a 100 bill the girl gave me 116 back giving me the 100 bill back instead of a 50 i didn't even notice until i got home brother gave you money to take those gains so i have probably gotten away with something much greater than this but this one always has cracked me up i was going fishing with a friend and my dad and we all put in 50 bucks and whoever caught the heaviest fish would keep the whole stack i was like 15 so 100 bucks was a lot to me at that time anyway we had all caught some and it was getting later i wasn't winning but everybody had small fish so far my dad and friend went back to the truck to grab some snacks that we had brought and left their lines in the water nearly as soon as they left my friend's line went down and went down hard i reeled it in as fast as i could and sure enough it was a huge base i recast his line and reeled mine and before they got back i managed to convince them that i had caught it they didn't suspect a thing no other fish were caught after that and i won 100 bucks i mean technically you are the one that caught the fish i was tardy for school 21 times my senior year i was called to the principal's office to answer for my crimes and i was supposed to get a saturday detention that the printout the principal showed me only had seven tardies listed i was able to show him the page in the student handbook where it states that we only get punishment after 10 tardies i was never called down again the rest of the year even after i racked up 21 tardies all 21 tardis showed up on my transcript too i also managed to walk out of school junior year during last period and talked my way out of that one worked at a video store didn't want to rent pee from people i knew so i slipped a disc from a multi-disc pack into my pocket and returned it the next day i set up a fake rental account with a made-up phone number and used to rent new releases to myself for free account got shut down when i didn't return one on time never got in trouble though not me but a friend legal drinking age where i'll live is 18 my friends and i are all 18 except one guy who turns 18 in a week we had a plan to get him into the bar the bar has a front and back exit me and the other younger looking guys with valid ids go through the back the two older looking guys go with the 17 year old guy from the front the bouncer is at the front and starts checking ids so we come through the back and the bouncer comes over to us to check our ids giving 17 year old guy a chance to slip in unnoticed i'm honestly surprised it worked but extremely happy it did my senior year i had a study hall first period first semester that meant i could drive myself to school an hour later as long as my mom signed some form it was the difference between waking up at 6 30 a.m and waking up at 7 30 a.m come my last semester and i had to take this mandatory health class to graduate my only open period was first so suddenly it's january it's dark and cold and i was not down to get up early to take this class i was a really good student and never got in trouble but i had already been accepted and enrolled in college i started rolling in late all the time skipping health constantly then i would show up on the test days and get 9100s it was all pretty basic common knowledge staff multiple choice quizzes about drugs alcohol contraception that sort of thing meanwhile my mom had me set up her email account over the previous summer and she had no technology so who is checking her email me a few months into this she gets an email from my teacher basically saying i'm getting fine grades on the tests and homework and all but that i was fixing to fail the class based on attendance alone insinuating that i wouldn't be able to graduate i took a breath and drafted a real nice email to him something about oh i'm so sorry i had no idea she's such a great student i'm sure it's just a touch of senioritis i'll speak with her and make sure it isn't an issue in the future thank you so much for letting me know and i went to every dang class through the end of the year maybe three years later my mom found the email which i swear i deleted i honestly have no idea how she found it she confronted me in such a weird way too basically saying she found an email to my teacher that didn't sound like something she would write but she refused to just ask me if i had done it i remember it bothering me so much the way she brought it up that i just left it that i don't know mom it was a long time ago and never heard about it again tl doctor almost couldn't grid which high school because i stupidly skipped a dumber mandatory class intercepted an email to my mom from the teacher answered it as my mom and never skipped the class again accidentally got directed to the preferred parking area at disney world attendant alerted us that we were supposed to have made a different turn but let us stay anyway such a bro back before albertsons had people watching over the self checkout my items totaled out to like five dollars i put in a 10 and was given back at 20. i was once in line behind a woman at a walmart whose purchase totaled up to about eight dollars it was like seven dollars and ninety three cents or something the woman hands the cashier a twenty dollar the cashier mistypes the amount into the register then proceeds to count out 192. and change and hand it to the woman obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer back in college i was driving home to see my folks one weekend and i was going fast we're talking about 110 miles per hour in a 60 mile per hour zone in a bright yellow ford escape i did it because i was in an impromptu street race with two pickup trucks who in retrospect probably just robbed a bank or something insane anyway the three of us blow past a speed trap as soon as i see the blue lights behind me i slam on my brakes and drop completely behind the other two the cop blows past me lights and sirens and goes after these two guys who are not stopping or slowing down for the cop i don't know whatever happened to them i do know that i drove the speed limit the rest of the way home i could have easily lost my license had my car impounded and god knows what reckless driving charge on my record i got lucky speed race 4 the forgotten crime went to six flags for the day and determined to not pay the 30 parking fee i was searching for free parking close to the park so we could walk in as i was scoping out the area i accidentally drove into the one-way entrance of the park the attendant asked for my money for parking and i politely informed her that i had made a wrong turn and was trying to leave she said it happens all the time and directed us out on our way out we realize that they didn't give you anything to confirm your payment so we parked in the far lot and enjoyed our day without paying for parking suck it six flags my parents would say just dropping the kids off at the entrance and enjoy the free parking in 10th grade i cheated on a biology test had my textbook open under the table and the teacher wasn't paying attention apparently someone ratted me out cause she asked to see me after class a few days later and asked me if the allegation was true i had a pretty spotless record at that point so with a straight face i told her i don't know why they would say that about me must have worked cause i got away with it although it was with the agreement that for any further tests i would take with all of my backpack and books left at the front of the room which didn't bother me since i usually did well on tests without needing to cheat it just so happened that one test i couldn't nail down to this day it's the only test i've ever cheated on then there was me who was gonna wear a micro earpiece into my finals when i was a child i inadvertently sprayed pepper spray into an air conditioning intake at a restaurant pepper spray traveled across the entire restaurant and everyone had to be evacuated everyone's eyes were itchy and watery people were coughing and couldn't breathe the fire department showed up and even had some people hooked up to oxygen tanks respirators or whatever you call those things it was a true crap show when i was at uni i had a good mate who would take the same classes we were a good team as he was very left field and i was the brains who helped him turn his mayhem into something that the lecturer would actually like so we were okay at group assignments our weakness was that we both left things until the last minute somehow bizarrely we always did okay even though we were by no means the brightest in the class ones we used to be a cooler we had in the boot of the car is the only prop in some sort of presentation that we made on up the spot after completing the presentation we discovered there was still cold beer in it so we drank beer whilst watching the other presentations we were one mark off a high distinction in that class another time we had to give a presentation on design for manufacture we didn't even start until about 11 p.m the night before it was due so didn't have time to do both a class handout and a speech so we just printed out our speech to hand out it was looking like we were about to get away with it as the lecturer was too busy taking notes on our presentation to read the handout so didn't realize we had taken this shortcut we were home free our presentation was well received and although there were some smirks by those who were reading along with the handout nobody said anything we finished the speech and asked if there were any questions yes i have a question said stupid b genevieve from the back of the room with a smug look on her face i noticed the handout bears a striking resemblance to your speech the room went quiet everyone looked at the lecturer to see what he would say but he was still scribbling notes if something wasn't said soon he would realize what had just happened as the silence amplified the gravity of the situation my moment of glory was about to dawn i smiled thanks genevieve actually it's a speech which bears a striking resemblance to the handout not the other way around are there any other questions okay thanks everyone there were snickers genevieve's jaw dropped there was no way the lecturer hadn't noticed that surely he would say something the lecturer stood up okay well done boys good job who is up next the lecturer got the both of us and a few other people a paid internship at a well-known scientific organization for six months based mainly on that presentation it looked great on my resume and probably had a major impact on landing my current position as a technical document writer suck on that genevieve like my grandad used to say never trust anyone with four e's in their name back in the 90s my high school had an automated caller service that would call your house's landline to inform someone that their child had been absent that day i found this out this first i skipped while attending that school i was there as the call came in i let the answering machine pick it up so i could hear who was calling if you don't know you could listen live as the machine took the recording and if it was someone you wanted to talk to you could pick up the receiver stop the tape and proceed to have a conversation i scanned the call erased the tape went into the caller to delete that entry and got an idea i called up the phone company and got them to block the call services phone number i deleted the caller id entry and skipped anytime i wanted this much i spent four days skiing in jackson hole wyoming never got billed for the hotel bill which meant that the whole trip cost like 300 please explain for the rest of us skiers with a bucket list as a kid i would rip the tags off of the little webkinz they sold at my local walgreens so i could use the code i'm a monster i know this is by far the worst one disgusting i ditched a suitcase and reported it lost and got it sent back to where i needed it i was young and dumb and booked two different flights in a different country i had to actually retrieve my suitcase and then re-check it because it wasn't connecting we had like a half hour to get to the gate between flights this was never going to happen if we had to recheck the bag a freaking light bulb appeared above my head i said let's take what we need from it throw that crap back in our carry on and report it lost worth a roll since we were broke and booking another flight while not impossible would have sucked more than a lost suitcase and some negligible possessions we did this and ran for our flight and made it the suitcase was back in our original country before we were four days later edited the number of days because i remembered this was on the tail end of our trip which is why we were comfortable traveling with so little i was sleeping with this girl for a little while she was nice pretty good looking smart but in the end she was looking to take the next steps and i wasn't ready for that i told her that i wanted to cut things off before they got too serious she rightfully asked why instead of just telling her the truth her puppy dog eyes made me tell her that i was moving to switzerland to work for rolex how i came up with that i still don't know i was working in video production at the time i get a call saying that i have to go to sf from la to work on a news shoot covering that jet that crash landed at the airport i should mention here that the girl was trying to become a reporter well i get to the location and who do i see the girl covering the story she gave me the biggest stink eye that i've ever received she walked up to me and said how's rolex in a very condescending tone here's the best part in the six months between our breakup and that shoot i did actually work a job for rolex made me think how ducking random is this it was in india for some philanthropic event completely random haven't worked for them before or since i spent nine days there and took a ton of photos of the event and my travels i told her that it was going great told her about the event and showed her pictures i further said that i was back home on holiday and picked up a freelance gig with my old company just for some extra cash and to work on an interesting story and to fill in two weeks of downtime thus explaining why i was in sf her tone changed she congratulated me and seemed happy we parted amicably and she was none the wiser thanks rolex you really came through one might even say that it was perfect timing if i had money i'd killed you for that last sentence if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 10,866

Rating: 4.9735098 out of 5

Keywords: getting away with it, how to get away, greatest things, greatest wins, personal gains, success stories, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: 5Ilvx1Q-Rj0

Length: 25min 30sec (1530 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 27 2021