Greatest Backfires in History

in an attempt to defame me my soon-to-be ex-wife asked me in front of court clark do you still think you're an alien from outer space everyone saw how crazy she was and sided with me in court what is the greatest way someone has attempted to humiliate or harass you which ended up backfiring my dad used to be work in the maintenance department at a very expensive and very high class boys only high school it was actually a pretty respectable job requiring a plethora of trade qualifications and a working brain he was pretty committed to the job and often pulled over time on the weekends but because it was a rich school in a rich area there was a lot of snobbery involved kids parents were buttholes the kids were practically uncontrollable dead handled it all by just being incredibly good at his job and never getting mad just even so one saturday morning he goes into the workshop on campus to build some new tables and desks at nine o'clock he gets in makes coffee and gets set up before turning on the extractor fans in the workshop that remove the sawdust as a side note you're legally allowed to operate machinery like this from seven o'clock in the morning onwards in terms of noise pollution restrictions cue a guy most likely a parent of one of the boys at the school storming over from his house in the properties behind the workshop in his dressing gown absolutely flips his crap screaming a dad to turn the machinery off dad just stands his ground explains that's he's allowed to be running it and waited until mid-morning out of courtesy that's not good enough and this guy starts making threats along the lines of they know me at the college i know people i can have you sex who is your supervisor dad says i can give you the maintenance supervisor's number and hands the guy a business card guy pulls out his mobile and dials the number he's staring dad in the face still pumped up and ready to start bagging him out to the supervisor dad's phone rings he pulls it out answers it and says scotch cab snr maintenance supervisor the guy flipped his crap completely threw the card back at dad and stormed out you made me laugh so hard i woke up my cat xd my ex pulled similar stunts in our divorce and custody fight she claimed an affidavit that i was suicidal homicidal violent had anger management issues abusing prescription and illegal drugs basically everything short of molesting our child which my attorney expressed surprise at as we walked into court on the first day she said that if our child had been a female we'd be fighting such accusations her attorney also tried very hard to portray me as a stereotypical military vet with deep emotional problems so my ex petitions the court to have me undergo a psych eval the judge looked at me and asked mister that kaz mustache how do you feel about this i said that i had no problem with it but it would probably be a good idea if the ex had one two he found the idea delightful and even allowed my ex to choose the doctor to administer it so we go through the psych eval thing this was a total of about six or eight hours in the doc's office over the course of several days the day before the divorce trial starts we get the results back mister that kaz moustache has mild symptoms of situational depression which is no surprise as his wife has been conducting at least one and as many as several affairs blah blah blah there is no indication of suicidal or homicidal tendencies nor drug abuse nor violence nor antisocial behavior he is basically a good guy going through a crappy divorce mrs but kaz mustache has a non-specific borderline personality disorder a narcissistic personality disorder and three of the five standardized tests used to evaluate her were invalidated because she lied on them here's the very cool part when i went to settle the bill at the doc's office his nurse pulled me aside and said we don't get emotionally involved with our clients mister that kaz mustache but everyone in this office is pulling for you apparently the ex had stormed in and lit the entire staff up in spectacular fashion over the diagnoses my attorney's secretary also let me know that my ex's attorney's secretaries seems that these folks talk outside of class a lot were very hopeful that my ex would get ramrodded by the court in the end i was granted custody of my son and the judge included some very sharp language about my ex's testimony and integrity that i am told will be my primary weapon should she ever choose to contest any aspect of either the divorce or custody rulings my favorite quota answers were evasive disingenuous and at times breathtakingly unbelievable thanks your honor tl dr x went from a tropical storm to a category 5 hurricane in the courtroom i was like the mighty willow who bent but did not break como i was like the mighty willow who bent but did not break up though just for that a guy i know was going through some nasty divorce proceedings with his [ __ ] narcissistic vain soon-to-be ex-wife i've met the woman once she reminds me of lucille bluth on arrested development she accused him of beating her convinced their daughter to back up her story got one of her cop relatives to arrest him he however had an airtight defense his ez pass records showed that at the time she claimed he hit her he was in another state i have an ex that after almost 10 years is apparently still going around to people i know telling them i beat her and just wish he would finally admit and come clean to everyone about beating her even crazier i've talked to her myself a handful of times over the last four years and she actively denies telling people that i beat her and claims that it's one big misunderstanding i was attending training for a deployment one of the trainers was teaching something wrong and i corrected him he tried to make a big scene and accused me of disrespecting a superior co then i pointed out that i outranked him ex-girlfriend comes up to me at a group of people i'm chatting with outside of class sees i'm talking to an attractive girl and says you don't want to get to know editor ray he is a stupid jew good thing this was right in front of the local news folks asking the shabbat jewish student group about the upcoming jewish holy days in the attractive girl i was talking to was recording us on camera had a guy steal a parking spot from me outside of my old job a while back i was in a beta pickup he in a rather nice bmw i did the wtf face and he walked over and said my car is nice and should be seen up by the front of the building go park your pose at the other end of the lot that guy yeah he was my afternoon interview for a sales job my psycho ex-wife denied me visitation with my mentally disabled 27-year-old daughter for almost a year in court she pointed out that i am an alcoholic in her own lawyer's notes provided to the court it showed that i was in aa for 28 years and haven't had a drink since reagan was president the judge pointed out that i was a sober senior manager with two master degrees who had never been arrested and was fighting to see my mentally [ __ ] daughter the judge asked if there was any reason why i shouldn't get to see her when my ex opened her mouth the judge actually said sit down and shut the frick up it was a rhetorical question i am not granting visitation i am granting joint guardianship when the ex went to speak again the judge said how would you like me to make it soul guardianship and if you aren't sure it wouldn't be in your favor i never even had to say a word just got done a nine-day visit with my daughter whom i see every other weekend and it only cost me 28 000 still i fought the good fight and won i imagine if she opened her mouth again he would have sentenced her to death in seventh grade this would have been more than 20 years ago before the internet i went out with this girl diana for a little while i broke up with her because i didn't like spending time with her and we only went out because of one dance or something we never even went past kissing and even that was just a kind of boring french kiss anyway she got really upset and started a scene it was right in the middle of lunch in the cafeteria and she yelled whatever you're such a loser and your penis is way too big anyway her miscalculations 1. she implied that she'd seen my penis we were 13 she got branded a school s two she implied that i had a big penis this rumor stuck with me all through high school i even changed carefully during gym classes to keep from dispelling the rumor 3 a few girls at parties expressed interest in seeing it due to the rumors i obliged occasionally and in private for the record i'm pretty sure my penis was average size in high school now of course it has its own gravity and weather systems and lesser penises orbited affecting the penile tides so really she's in a way the best friend you've ever had had a guy say to me after we were done playing basketball and my team won oh yeah how do you like your foot up my butt crap many lols were had afterwards on his account i'm always late to these but here goes i had been in college for a year and a half and decided to transfer to a different school a little closer to home a lot of my friends from high school went to the school i transferred to so when i first got there i spent a lot of time hanging out with them but they lived on the other side of campus and i was there almost every night for some reason one of the girls we hung out with who lived in their dorm didn't like me i'm still not sure why i got along pretty well with everyone else a few weeks later unknown to me she started sort of dating one of my roommates who she had met through someone else she did not know he was my roommate at the time at one point we had all been hanging out together in her dorm with some of my friends as he told me after i left she started complaining about what in butthole i was and saying some pretty terrible things about me he told me he yelled at her something to the effect of don't ever talk about my roommate like that but he's an awesome guy and apparently he never saw her again after that good riddance she was a b t l d r girl talks crap about me to guy she was dating and didn't know was my roommate he stops dating her that's a dang good roommate you better treasure him not me but my mom before i was born she worked at a u.s government office there were many parties where military officers and the admins secretaries would attend at one of these parties one dude who was big on sexually harassing women on a normal day had a few two minutes to drink he came up to my mom and pinched her butt and said i'd really love to get in your pants humiliated she kept her cool but raised her voice and responded so the whole office could hear why did you crap yours silence the dude's butthole puckered up and he turned red in the face and didn't harass anyone for a long time after that meanwhile across the room was her soon-to-be husband my father who heard the exchange impressed not long after this exchange he asked my mom if she'd like to celebrate his divorce from his ex-wife and go on their first date three months later they were married and still are to this day with a pickup line like that your dad must be the smoothest operator ever or maybe it just really helps to be a man in uniform this girl i sat by an art class in the sixth grade was one of those big loud bullies the kind that can talk crap all day but acts confused and cries when anyone is mean to her anyways she was making fun of my new glasses one day and said really loud so the whole class could hear her wow they're really big so i looked up and politely and loudly said well so are you but i thought it would have been rude to say anything that shut her up that reminds me of a girl in my seventh grade p class who would bully me with her two other friends i told the fat bee she should be the goalie for soccer because it would be physically impossible for a ball to get past her and into the goal she snitched on me to the teacher and the teacher thought i was complimenting her skills as a goalie when i was in eighth grade there was this kid that would always bully me he stole crap from my locker had his buddies hold me down and drew stuff on me and would insult me constantly one day he decided that it would be absolutely hilarious to pants me in front of the entire school during lunch you see saggy pants were a fad at my school in eighth grade and almost nobody wore their pants at their waist where it was supposed to be almost nobody except me i on the other hand knew what the fricker belt was when that punk butt grabbed a handful of my levi's in an attempt to yank them down he ended up getting caught red-handed molesting another dude in front of the entire school it made that entire crappy school year worth it i started at a small nyc ad agency last summer my first day i was met with a disastrous ad to fix upon arrival i was met with jack not his real name but he was a jackoff do it'll do jack wanted to know one hour after i started when he could see something on this ad i told him i would welcome his feedback it wasn't close to done as i had just started there he tore me and butt for my attitude and proceeded to tell me that i was off on the wrong foot because he ran this account right in the middle is his bully rant a group had assembled one of the junior account people tried to get his attention which only deepened his fury at my imagined insolence finally the owner came out of her office jack in his attempt to throw me onto the tracks said to her we've got a real wissey's here what are you going to do about it she said jack that's the new chief creative officer he's your new boss as he backpedaled into a flurry of just kidding a little hazing he literally had tears running down his cheeks to break the uncomfortable silence i said jack check back with me in an hour i'll have something then we can review it together the room was silent but holes like him deserve it so much but i can't help being so embarrassed on their behalf a co-worker who was convinced that i was talking smack about him behind his back decided to start secretly recording my conversations with other workers at my desk he bragged about how he had something that was going to get me fired to one of my friends he found out that this is a felony in my state and hr doesn't put up with that kind of behavior at the last minute he claimed that it was just a joke and we couldn't prove it but him being scared shitless for that split second was all the backfiring i needed he backed off a lot after that oh tom you're such a douchebag was in high school band and had a particular douche who had a brow like a caveman seriously they almost stuck over his chin and the aggressiveness of one he was making jokes with his buds and some of them were directed at me i ignored him i was reading my book and i was going to enjoy the dang thing well my cro-magnon schoolmate did not enjoy that so he started staring at me from across the band room sensing his disapproval of me ignoring his glorious jokes i looked up and met his gaze i winked he did not like that one bit so he picked up his mouthpiece trumpet mouthpieces are small but they are bloody well fast and hold it at me i ducked behind my music stand and felt it was over me luckily or not depending on your viewpoint my band director was right behind me and got nailed in the back by it in two seconds he went from being the cool and relaxed band director to the red-faced fury of apollo himself classmate was suspended eventually quit and never so much as looked at me again goodyear tl dr neanderthals are dumb i have dreamed of this day i am a trainee that was being hosted by herper derp power technically employed by a gto one day my very recently promoted boz starts drilling me on not following his instructions to the letter for the fifth time each time i had fixed the problem instead of following his policy of simply replacing the computer none of the computers had broken after my repairs i say stuff that i'm out of here if i stay then i'm probably going to kill this man this new boss then proceeds to modify all of my job tickets from my year and a half of work to prove his point the ticket service fails and corrupts the database they recover the database from before he edited them his boss notices the disparity and gives me his apologies for various actions that they took aka firing me locking me out of sight etc the new boss gets a disciplinary hearing meanwhile the company that was technically employing me has put me on full time in this company there's only two it people including myself and the other one is pretty awesome all the people are friendly and i'm feeling more fulfilled in my work tl dr got fired from a crappy job because of my crappy boss falsifying records the boss got caught and my labor hire company not my original employer employed me in their office instead that seems like that boss could actually face serious monetary penalties were you to sue for fraud he falsified documents claiming they were made by you for the purpose of defamation these two kids were picking on me in the fifth grade they tried to do that hole one kneels behind you while the other pushes you over i cracked two of the kids ribs boy that escalated quickly in pay when we ran track the boys would run one way and the girls would run the other way but we never crossed paths everyone went halfway on the track then turned back and ran the other half so there was no meeting of the boys and girls well at the half some popular girl thought it'd be hilarious to pants me so she says hey come see some girl told me to tell you something 7th grade me was naive so i didn't see what could go wrong besides the teacher seeing i was talking to a girl or something so i go up to here and out of nowhere she tries to pants me for some reason it fails and i just end up falling which not many people saw she settled with that and started laughing her friend saw what happened and decided to stand up for me so she went up and pan said the mean girl to get back at her she accidentally pulled down everything panties and all and a lot more people saw i thought it was some hilarious karma tl dr b wanted to see my dong got her pants pulled down dude no you got it all wrong the mean girl liked you she set it all up she was supposed to pants you and her friend was supposed to pants her so you would both be there pantsless and would have sex it obviously backfired a friend of mine was dared to pants me at school so he ran down the hall leaned over while running to try and pants me and wound up leaning over too much stumbled and face planted into the floor he got a bloody nose and no one saw my boxers pretty much a win in my book girl i was part-time seeing told some mutual friend that i was clingy and wouldn't stop calling her in that i paraded her around like a trophy a mutual friend simply replied really because we talk all the time and he didn't even mention he was freaking you i worked in the punks show business for a few years and if you were to line me up against punk rock as i look very clean cut but i've been around the block a few times so one night i was working a show and it was going to be a bit awkward considering the two big names for the night were notorious for having large skinhead followings i had worked with both bands before and hung out with them on a couple occasions while they were in town they weren't racist but they still had a racist following fast forward to a couple hours before the show i arrived to help load in gear and set up the system for sound check as i was walking towards the entrance a group of punklings come up to me and ask what are your colors same gang style balls you see only more humorous when it's someone with purplish hair i ignore them go inside and let the owner know i'm there i come back downstairs this group of two punks is now five and they say i need to be taxed for my jacket because i disrespected them at this point eight large guys with shaved heads come out of a couple vans and walk up to me and ask me if i have a problem with the kids trying to intimidate me into giving them my jacket i said no they were just leaving these guys were from the main bands playing that night one band called the business the other being agnostic front the look of terror on these kids faces was priceless before we started loading the gear one of the kids came up to me and apologized tldr punk rockers tried to steal my jacket two groups they idolized turn out to be friends of mine and were about to start to fight with them for harassing me okay i have a different login at work my boss has been a bit of a control freak since we hired him a couple years ago largely we all put up with him though the people he supervises can all do the job better than he not that unusual even in a technical field like mine anyway he got frustrated one evening when he saw me helping another co-worker with their stuff and let me know that we would have to have a meeting in the morning with his boss to redefine my workload see if he didn't tell me to help employee x that he dislikes with their work i shouldn't be helping with their work i guess i have more team spirit than my boss next morning at the appointed time i stick my head in the door of boss boss office and say do we have a meeting with a knowing grin boss boss says his boss here yet and i say yeah i just saw him i'll go get him so boss there's a couple petty grievances and then says there have been some times when i am setting something up and you know it and you leave early if you know i'm working on setting up processes in the afternoon can you stick around to help and i knew i was gold processes is something my boss should have learned how to do over two years ago so i raise my eyebrows and carefully say with as little scorn and derision as humanly possible if i were to stick around and help out do you think you could learn processes so i don't have to stay late next time and my boss replies with yes of course just so you know the only reason i don't know processes is because at all my previous companies were used process abc and i knew i had him five minutes later i walked out of boss boss office grinning because my boss just embraced himself in front of his boss and didn't even know it i knew that right then boss boss was saying to boss you don't noses that's something you should know and voila a couple months later my boss is learning new tricks including z's i know that this is the guy filling out my evils and the three of us know i'll let him hang and i just cannot bring myself to care the whole company knows his history and we have made a habit of working around him so frick it hopefully this doesn't get buried but here goes my best guy friend had moved out of his fan season his house after a seven-year relationship he's kind of a sucker but a good person he rented a small house down the street from his mom and since the fiance owed him a crap ton of money she gave him a washer and dryer a table etc he was trying to keep the relationship alive as well as get some much needed space he really didn't want to break up with her one day she decides that he's cheating on her he wasn't he was at my house drinking and playing poker with my brother and a few other guy friends she flips a frick out on him when he gets home she has a house key and is lurking in the house refusing to come out when he gets there says she's waiting on a guy friend of hers to bring a trailer and a dolly so she can take her crap out of his house my pal calls the cops a bunch of bulls goes on there but she leaves before they can get there she then tries to file personal protection orders on he and his mother she lied about the both of them threatening her life in order to do so my pal decided to contest the ppo and take her to court in michigan you can have someone who isn't a lawyer speak for you in court he asked me i couldn't object to any of the other attorney's arguments he made some outrageous accusations even asking me if my pal had ever tried to sleep with me and when i told him no on the stand he then asked me if my pal was gay but i could question every witness including the fiancee she went up to the witness stand last as soon as she got up there she went into a crazy crying fit i mean sobbing blowing snot bubbles the whole nine yards my question was this fiancee what did you bring into my pal's house with you she replied an iron belly club my cop friend gave me i asked her if it was in plain sight and she stupidly replied no i had it up the sleeve of my sweatshirt the judge called a halt to the proceedings and dismissed all of the ppo attempts he then assigned her 50 hours of anger management classes and when she shrieked he threw her in jail for contempt of court as she was being led away she said to me b i'm gonna get you i asked for a ppo on her right then and there and it was granted on the spot insert success kid here tl dr crazy woman puts her own foot in her mouth in court reversing the original charges she sought out onto her my first long-term boyfriend cheated on me during our senior year of high school then let me on for months by saying i wanna be with you i just need some time apart we're still together i just wanna see other people too like any socially inept shy insecure high schooler i went along with it for quite some time before calling it quits so good however my ex had promised me long before that he would take me to the senior prom that year no matter what happened between us in the weeks leading up to prom i order a modest looking dress online buy my ticket book a hair appointment the whole shebang so one week before that prom night i find out from mutual friends that he's taking the 14 year old who he cheated on me with to the prom instead of me and i'd also been told that my ex wasn't going to tell me about it he'd been planning on letting me buy a dress spend the entire prom day getting ready and then he was going to stand me up on prom night so i asked his recently single best friend to take me because we'd already been friends for years before and he just broken up with his girlfriend i return the modest dress i'd bought online and take the money to a local dress shop i buy a sexy flaming red prom dress that shows off my legs back and bust sky-high black stilettos i forgo the intricate hairstyle for a sexy haircut instead i looked good i showed up for the pre-prom dinner at a restaurant where my date his friend and his girlfriend and my ex and his new girlfriend are waiting at the table i walk down the path leading to the table like it's a catwalk every eye in the restaurant is on me for 30 seconds i commanded an entire room i danced the night away with my prom date while my ex fumed to himself in the corner refusing to dance with his girl he left early my date and i go back to my house where we have the longest most intimate conversation of my life we talk about our lives our childhoods who we both are and who we both want to be everything we talk until the sun comes up my ex is best friend and i are now happily married so really every day that i live is a day that my exes plan to humiliate me is backfiring i'm giving you a thumb up for commanding an entire room congratulations on that if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video so bye for now

Channel: Internet Is Fun

Views: 227,554

Rating: 4.9241762 out of 5

Keywords: backfire, backfires, greatest backfires, when it backfires, backfire moments, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, emkay, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, askreddit school, r/askreddit how to

Id: yaLgCWPI7rA

Length: 29min 35sec (1775 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 24 2021