What was your "I was the only one to get away" story? r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

what's your I was the only one to get away story when I was in high school we had a Guitar Hero tournament after the whole ordeal was over nobody made us actually get rid of the setup that was in an unused room this lead to a bunch of us always leaving to go to the bathroom and just going to play guitar hero eventually it evolved into 5-6 Xbox Playstation setups in the room one day the principal finally walks in this room and there are upwards of 30 people in there playing video games he immediately marches us all into the office I storm out the door to go first with a plan that should never work I walk up to the office door pulled it back and held it for everyone and then just shut the door behind them and walk off somehow nobody noticed that I never went in and I never got in trouble nobody else got in real serious trouble just some detentions but still hilarious I was the only one to get away from my hometown even the kids who went to college out of state moved right back I was one of four in my class who took early graduation graduated high school with diploma in hand end of January instead of June even though due to how the school changed class scheduling like 90% of the senior class was eligible we went from a possible 7 credits a school year to a possible 10 the change happened in our junior year so since we all came in under the old schedule we still only needed the lower credits to graduate close bracket I remember on my last day in January everyone was talking in homeroom like did you take early grad no me either wish I did but I'd miss everyone double quote this was the school town teachers jobs people they said they are telida tested and couldn't wait to get away from they're all still there now with apartments and kids still saying how much they hate it and wish they could move away turn up in the school washroom with my friends with the lights off and music blasting out people were hanging off the stalls and making as much noise as possible teacher comes in and writes our names down she gets to me and asks have I already written your name and I say yes and walk away friends got detention apparently someone cracked the mirror in the washroom and no one Fest up so they all went down together not me but a friend this happened 20 plus years ago her friends were hanging out and decided to go out for pizza she headed to the pizza place while the others headed to the other location of same pizza joint this was before the days of common cellphones the location that her friends went to a guy decided to shoot up the place I'm not sure how many were hit she was obviously fine because she was at the other location high school party one of my first I was wasted throwing up in the basement bathroom when the cops arrived eventually they will let inside and stormed into the basement where everyone was hiding loudly with the lights off with their flashlights beaming down into the dark I want to say there were at least 30 people rounded up into the living room where they started calling parents the host of the party saw me sitting on the man for having accepted my fate she knew my dad would literally whoop my ass and sent me out the window I knocked over the grill on my way out and walked around the back of the house through a few backyards and to the neighborhood pool where I cuddled with some bushes for a few hours when I saw the last cop finally leave I sprinted back to the house and knocked on the door to be let in scaring the sheet out of the three survivors a few dozen people were charged with underage drinking as a teen I worked at retail shop with a bunch of other teens we would regularly fill carts with merchandise and walk them out the front door when management was on break cases of beer cartons of cigarettes perfume Cologne batteries compact discs dr sculls you name it we stole it I got promoted from cashier to customer service counter a woman came in one day with a severe b tch face on I said something along the lines of you don't look like elf had a positive shopping experience or some [ __ ] she went off on me turns out the b tch face was a normal face and I'd said the same thing to her every time she came I didn't remember her was I most of the time into the store that was my third strike and I got fired on the spot one week later all my friends were arrested for theft they had installed hidden cameras throughout and busted everyone except me I was gambling in Vegas on a Friday with friend's bachelor party coming up the next day playing blackjack mostly just killing time waiting for dinner but the table was on fire it was a full table shortly after I sat down I played for a couple hours and the table was all upon money anywhere from $50,000 to $800 the $800 was me everyone else was literally up at least 10 grand it's about 20 minutes before I'm supposed to meet up with someone so I call it and head back to my room so I can shower and change for the night head out for dinner and have a good night the next morning my buddies call me down to the lobby to meet up as I get down there out of sheer coincidence they are talking to the dealer that was at the table when I left she says there he is and points at me friends are like no she ate dirt turns out I was the only one that walked away from that table with a dollar to my name my first house party in college was on Halloween my freshman year Natalie everyone was in costume and about half the people there were underage I wasn't drinking but my friends were around midnight an older guy forty's walked in dressed as a cop me being the one of the few Sobers at the party realized he was an actual cop I tried to convince my friends to leave but they all said the guy was just in a costume so I left on my own I walked right past the cop told him to have a good night and walked home I found out the next day all of my friends got tickets for underage drinking hotboxing a truck with some friends of a friend senior year in an empty parking lot of some park already high as [ __ ] when suddenly the Taco Bell we had gorged on earlier is going after shits in my bowels and holy sheet I need a bathroom I ran stumbled my way to the public restroom on the other side of the parking lot I finish and as I'm about to walk out I see what looks like red lights illuminating the entrance I stopped losing my [ __ ] I know it's cops and everyone's high as f ck at this point I knew way my friends are [ __ ] B what the f ck should I do I retreated in the farthest stall and texted my parents staying I was crashing at some dudes house ended up falling asleep in the stall woke up the next morning and got another friend to pick me up got away no one ratted me out and that sound Taco Bell simultaneously destroyed and saved my ass at the same time I went to a private high school and was part of a group of about 20 people who knew about a tent hidden in the woods behind our school people would go there and have sx after school smoke pot and a hood rat [ __ ] someone got in trouble and ratted out all of us as an attempt to lessen her punishment apparently she was going to be expelled and on the last day before finals we all got called down to the detention room and the Dean told us that they had found drug paraphernalia and weapons airsoft pistol and made us all write down everything we know about the tent and who we've seen at the tent nineteen people ratted out everyone in that room including themselves and were given pretty harsh punishment three were expelled some were suspended into the next year and the rest got demerits I wrote down I have no idea what you're talking about went and talked to the deans and said the same thing and was off the hook I'm certain my name was on every list and I'm sure they wanted to nail me but I denied and I guess they were satisfied with 19 people giving themselves up it was a night out in college just after the club and loads of people are milling about in the streets drunk as [ __ ] after a few drinks I always get hungry so I grabbed one of my friends to go get a pizza but the four other lads I was with wanted to go home so they walked down the street to get a taxi after gorging on some sweet pears I call my friends to find out where they had it to find out they were in an ambulance as they were getting into the taxi they got jumped by two rough locals wallet stolen one got bottled across the head one two teeth knocked out and another stabbed from ear to chin two inches lower and he'd be dead court's case happening in a few weeks and the only reason I'm not involved or injured is because I'm always hungry this one is pretty scary actually I'm a special contractor for the military mostly consultation work and often get posted to forward bases and carriers and such I can't really divulge what I do anyway I get posted to this large force projecting carrier in the Cold War think South China Sea when it gets attacked by these retards in a small craft in the littoral zone which isn't really much of a threat because we have huge guns right wrong these are cells were packing special ordnance or something and we only just realized once they'd got too close to use our anti-ship weapons of course me being a lowly consultant I don't have any cut through to the captain because he's actually an awaitin thinks he knows [ __ ] everything apparently I'm the only one who thinks it would be a good idea to launch smaller craft that can introduct them and keep them at appropriate range I muster up a few good dudes and engage these rebels ship to ship in the meantime these guys managed to blow up the station somehow and only I got away in my tie advanced had to walk back to the empire like a peasant second worst day of my career although I did get promoted after that not me but a friend was at a house party my senior year of high school I was on a date that night so I didn't go the cops showed up and no one could leave because there were cops outside both the front and back doors four of my friends ran into the basement and three of them hid under the stairs while my other friend hid in the corner the cops came downstairs looked right past my friend hiding solo and brought a three underneath the stairs up to where you were ticketing everyone to top it off my buddy waiting like an hour and walked upstairs and the whole place was empty the house owner had to go down to the station so he did slow mellow Shazam's crashed on the couch I was underage at a party in college where about 200 people were in a basement with only one exit the cops came and made everyone leave one by one and take a breathalyzer on the way out I had about five or six drinks by this point and they were giving tickets to anyone underage that blew over maybe a zero-zero to me and one buddy went all the way to the back of the basement where there was a sink and chugged water and peed in the corner for the roughly two hours it took to breathalyze everyone we were some of the last people to leave and had both sobered up enough that we blew 0 along the breathalyzer and just drove home party got busted when I was in college depending on the corpse and usually the time of year they will generally just tell everyone to go home and only hand out nips to anyone who is belligerently drunk or carrying alcohol who's under 21 well drunk me thought it was a brilliant idea to walk out the back with my beer and I wasn't 21 while cops aren't stupid and had someone standing by the back door I walk out and the cop asks me are you 21 I said do you think I would be carrying this if I wasn't and he goes all right get out of here I guess this was one of the parties where they handed out MIPS to everyone I think if I'd have been running or something things would have went differently but just walking like nothing was going on they didn't even card me this is a little different than what Opie asked for but it mostly fits I was the one to get away with a very embarrassing event there I was sitting in my ninth grade French one class just zoning out at the time I was extremely shy and would die from even the smallest embarrassment what in happened was a slight adjustment back into my seat as I had been leaning forward and bam the loudest [ __ ] fart possible it was hurt by absolutely everyone 32 - 35 kids but fortunately was very abrupt and quick since the [ __ ] didn't drone on and everyone was still stunned I just froze knowing that I would soon be caught I could even feel my face flush bright red which should have been obvious that it was me who dealt it surprisingly like a miracle from God himself the few students around me immediately began blaming each other while everyone else laughed no one pointed at me one girl says you that was not me another guy says hey if it was me than I would just own up to it dot he then turns towards me and no [ __ ] asks who was the one that did it you tell us I just kind of shrugged my shoulder and till the teacher soon calmed down the class to this day I still cannot believe how no one thought I did it TL DR I was the only one to get away with cutting the cheese in the seventh grade me and a friend went back to our old elementary school in May after school to find some fourth and fifth graders who had climbed onto the roof being the curious seventh graders we were we went up on the roof wooden by climbing on top of a power box the elementary school was right next to a huge main road so on most parts of the roof you could be seen from that road there were five of us and we had explored just about every part of the roof except for the gymnasium roof when my friend said he was thirsty I had a dollar so I rode my bike to the party store just down the street when I came riding back up the road to the school I saw a group of two police officers talking to my friends turned around and went home I know one of my friends went down to the station but I don't know about the other three my friends weren't upset with me for leaving went to a house party in high school the cops showed up and were citing people for underage drinking so I hid my beer in my jacket before this officer swaggered towards me we're talking about some [ __ ] and I'm lying my ass off saying I was just seeing what was going on coming home from some made-up extracurricular activity bla bla bla he probably knew I was drunk but I was being polite and was held together better than my other belligerent peers in the midst of our conversation my beer drops out of my jacket at our feet food we walk instead of panicking I play dumb and just looked around with a confused expression and exclaimed something like whoa where the heck did that come from dart the officer saw this dude acting like a drunken jackass a few yards away from us and started yelling and charging after him I dipped and walked home apparently everyone got [ __ ] by the police that night I was shooting up heroin in the parking lot of macaroni grill with some other junkies and two cop cars rolled up right after I injected it all I tossed the needle under the seat and the cops came up and told us all to get out of the car and sit down on the curb I told the cop they were just my ride home the junkies I was with all stopped yelling and swearing at the cops saying I was full of sheet and I had dope on me I didn't have sheet on me and they did so they got thrown into the back of the cruiser the cop patted me down and found my wallet and some string cheese the cop told me I was free to go since I didn't have sheet on me I was also polite to the officer unlike my [ __ ] friends junkies went to jail and I got an uber home I have a great story it is actually my mom's story though she was on a missionary trip with members of her church they went down to Mexico to an extremely poor did a bunch of stuff including building a schoolhouse giving out shoes teaching children how to whatever etc the people invited all the missionaries to come eat with them my mom was the only one who accepted their offer the rest of the missionaries were too scared to eat their dirty food and instead ate food that they had brought with them in their coolers and RV fridge and whatnot my mom tried to convince a few to eat the food that was offered it was all these people had to pay back anyone but in the end they all declined my mom made some truly amazing Mexican food that night and by morning the entire missionary group besides my mom was sick with food poisoning as a teenager we heard there was going to be a large keg party in the neighboring town so me and two of my buddies headed over there several hundred people showed up in a large sandpit with only one exit fortunately one of my two buddies carried a police scanner and was able to hear the call out in the police responding to the scene since there was only one way in and out of the place my two friends and I climbed up a 75 foot wall of wet sand to get up out of the place and watched from the woods as two hundred or so people got arrested by 30 cops for underage drinking walked away without a scratch equals oshi tackle reading these stories is really jarring my memory or maybe these beers are kicking in and just remembered another happening only this time no one was arrested so back in high school again myself and two of my friends were chilling by this river we called it the river but it was more of a stream behind a bunch of houses drinking and doing coke after finishing a few lines and a shared gatorade bottle of something probably vodka mixed with a little Gatorade now that I think of it we decide to start walking around all of a sudden we see flashing lights [ __ ] I don't do well around cops usually my last story being the only exception really and my heart's already beating pretty fast this time probably from a mix of anxiety in the cocaine so we dipped suddenly I see this sort of sewer drain sort of thing and say something like [ __ ] let's hide in there so we crawled in we're cramped together and this confined drain sort of thing for about 15 minutes but it felt like hours plus side got some tits in my face anyway I eventually slide out to check to see if anyone's still there I don't hear sirens and I don't see any more people so we all get out and relax back at one of the girls houses for a beer and a few bowls not me but a close friend of mine freshman year at university we're all celebrating a friend's birthday party in my dorm room when and Rob overhears me shushing everyone and decides to investigate the whole dorm room stank of booze so he came in took down names hydrous empty everything out etc etc fast forward to a few weeks later and everyone who was there is getting emails about their upcoming student judicial hearing all except one while Colin Jamie Lannister so Jamie reveals to us that the RAI apparently wrote down the wrong name for him amiracle since he checked most of our IDs when he was taking names and instead of having the name Jamie Lannister it's something more like James Bannister could change of story on all of our parts and at our judicial hearing each one of us was asked about this James Bannister who they weren't able to track down we responded with an already agreed upon story that he was some weird dude tangentially related to our group who more or less followed us up to my room and that none of us were familiar with his last name the [ __ ] got off scot-free my school used to have a trip every year and in sixth grade we went to washington d.c to learn about u-s history i've always been known as a pretty quiet guy and i had never gotten in trouble on the first day of the trip i was going up to the hotel rooms with five other people and two kids would stop the elevator and jump out and jump back in at every single floor there was the kid with anger management issues in the elevator and he started getting really agitated he ended up punching the two people who were elevator hopping in the two other people in the elevator tried to intervene while I was just standing in the back they all got their free time for the rest of the trip taken away and the kid who started the fight got sent home while no one even remembered I was in the elevator last night I was playing World of Warcraft doing mythic dungeons with two guild mates and a couple of pugs we were in shadow moon burial grounds I was tanking on my main pally tank and the run was going pretty smooth until we got to the last boss I was on voice chat with my two guild mates and I told them to move far away when the boss spawns fire and to watch the frontal Kerr and when we have to group up for ritual of bones long story short everybody but me did everything wrong and died like [ __ ] so I'm sitting there with the boss at 35% health thinking I should probably just go kill myself so we can get a fresh start on the boss but I decided to be stubborn instead I engage full badass mode played everything perfectly and was somehow managing to heal the damage the boss was doing to me when the first ritual started I just ran through it with bubble for the second and last ritual I popped all my remaining CDs and sprinted through it while chugging a health potion about three minutes after the rest of the group died I finished off the boss solo one of the DPS claimed he was going to suck my dick it was pretty intense was stories like this not the point of this post you [Music]

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Id: eOTYRnXHZl8

Length: 23min 32sec (1412 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 13 2019