What was your finest moment of revenge? r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

what was your finest moment of revenge when I was 11 years old I was bullied by a 12 year old boy he would steal things from my lunch every day I got sick of it and decided to do something about it one day I brought a super hot pepper in my lunch and pretended to be really excited about it sure enough the boy comes over snatches it from my hand and pops it in his mouth he practically exploded in pain writhing around the floor unable to handle the heat I calmly looked at him and told him that drinking a nice glass of cold water would help immensely he did so this promptly magnified the pain 100x he never stole food from me again I regret nothing driving to drop someone off my radar detector went off saw the cop sitting in a parking lot dropped off my friend and headed back the whole way some ass is tailgating me speed limits 40 I'm doing 45 and he's so close I can't see his headlights we come up to a traffic circle and he tries to pass me on the right I sped up and he kept trying we hit about 80 - 90 with him on the shoulder come up to the crest of a hill and I know the cop is right on the other side I hit the brakes and he flew up over the hill had to be doing 90 in a 40 even stop to let the cop out of the parking lot most satisfying thing ever my first real boyfriend we kissed instead of just holding hands kissed another girl and dumped me for her when I was a freshman in high school she had actively pursued him although she knew he had a girlfriend so I blamed her rather than him I know I know close bracket fast forward four years I was a volleyball player throughout college in the offseason I played in a city women's league and a co-ed league as an outside hitter my team played a new team with a familiar face she didn't recognize me different high schools but I immediately recognized her my team's setter kept giving me amazing sets and I kept slamming the ball over the net just waiting for my shot finally she was in the back row and my setter set me up I hit the ball and the boyfriend stealer stepped into the hit it bounced off her foot and went straight up into her face and broke her nose this may seem small but it was the most satisfying thing I have ever done when I was in the seventh grade I sat behind a jerk who hated me and enjoyed being annoying every single goddamn day he would lean back in his chair and hit the front of my desk over and ever again if I was trying to write something he would do it even harder so one day I decided enough was enough and in the middle of a lesson he started again so I waited and right as he was leaning his chair back fast trying to knock my desk hard I pulled it back without my desk behind him his chair tips right over and he hit the ground hard I can still clearly remember him whispering you [ __ ] beneath the laughter of the whole class and the teacher yelling at him to get up the look on his face was a mixture of shocked embarrassment and pure rage as he looked up at me from the floor bastard never f ked with me again a shitty repair shop in Moab UT messed up our car which left us stranded in a nearby national park we called in the man did they tow the vehicle in and while they said they'd come get us they never did when we talked with Park Rangers they were quite familiar with the shop the biggest in town and with a terrible reputation we were on our honeymoon and had more time on our hands than I imagined most travelers do we went to the shop demanded a full refund and when they refused we sat out front on the curb in our camp chairs for two days with homemade protest signs I was overwhelmed with the support we got from locals who honked and waved stopped and chatted with us and shared their own stories of horror the owner called the cops on us but the joke was on him we'd already notified the police we'd be protesting and were well within our rights in doing so in the end the shop owner refunded all our money and left visibly distressed when we told him that even with the refund we weren't sure we were ready to leave town eventually we did but not before filing complaints with the Better Business Bureau and every review site we could find they'd already been booted from the Chamber of Commerce we ended up becoming friends with an awesome local mechanic and having a great story to tell justice was served and without a tinge of guilt when I was 12 years old a kid beat me up at a birthday party for reasons unknown four years later the kid is a pitcher and a very good one at that for his school in the playoffs I was playing for the other team after going 0-3 to start the game I hit a walk-off home run off of him to advance to the next round kid actually started crying on the mound I don't think I've ever had a bigger smile than I did in that moment still have the ball in my apartment at college beating the sh t out of the man who abused and beat my mother for six years seven years later and she still has no idea edit obligatory thanks for the gold stranger recently posted this but long story short and kid I was friends with hit me in the balls three times in one night he then called me a wee baby and got in my face he tried to make me flinch by half swinging at me I didn't flinch but instead had blotted him with everything I had crushed his nose blood pouring out of his face I had a tiny cut in the center of my for each with one line of blood running down my face I looked f king psychotic but baddest also f ck you for that David when I was a kid probably four or five years old I was watching Dumbo with my neighbor the elephants on parade part was scary as all hell to me back then and I peed my pants my neighbor told everyone in my pre-k class and would not stop calling me the pants Pierre for weeks finally one day I slept over at her house and took a pair of her pants out her closet put them on and peed in them I woke her up to show her and that's the story of how I became the 2-time pants peer TLDR got revenge on a girl by putting her pants on and peeing in them I ground up laxatives and tainted all my kitchen fridge food with it to figure out which of my seven room mates was eating all my food while I survived off a secret stash in my mini fridge I found out who did it very very quickly I closed on selling my house but the buyers were real [ __ ] insane demons and stupid crap I was fed up so a move-out day I bought a couple wasp traps and put the attractant into a hole in the garage drywall [ __ ] telling a group of baseball bullies that were picking on my younger brother that snape kills dumbledore in half-blood prince after realizing they had all just started it edit thanks for the gold expect a comment from you the gesture core my college run mate had a sketchy friend he would invite over my textbook was stolen the weekend before my final I went to the book store and found the book I had not occurred that I used his bookmark still in the book I texted my roommates friend and made up a story that the bookstore was going to press charges unless he gave the money back he confessed over the phone and told me to meet him at his place to get the money when I got there he was smoking a bong after taking the money I poured the bond over his head and told him to never come to my place ever again back in the summer of zero nine me and my girlfriend were going pretty strong anyway I found out she was f king this guy on the side she admitted it and said she was sorry and I dumped her anyway I didn't know the guy but it remembered his name one night at a party a few months later I got introduced to a guy I thought was him i slyly worked out it was him I'm not a guide to hold a grudge generally but this was something else I didn't want to do anything to him but when I walked into a bedroom to take a phone call and there he was passed out drunk on I didn't know what to do but I knew I had too good an opportunity to pass it up I was pretty drunk at the time but the first thing I thought it was to take a dump on him I passed it off as a stupid idea but I couldn't think of anything else so I went with it so I went with it I left the party just after and I haven't seen or heard from him since not a day goes by I don't think about it needless to say I haven't told anyone about this in real life I'm not sure but his say vengeance was a dish best served shitty when I was 16 I was heartbroken by a girl who basically decided to f ck someone else after we were in love and I just used it as motivation to eat better and lose weight I saw her a couple years later and it looks like she gained as much as I lost 80 lbs felt so good ex cheated on me moved out but moved out slowly over time which meant I still lived with a lot of her stuff some of her clothes were left in the closet I cut teeny tiny corners off of every sleeve but barely enough to be noticeable you'd have to think you were going insane to notice it but then again over time each sleeve did look somewhat off she eventually asked me about it months later I denied everything I regret nothing there was the kid in junior high that was always in my [ __ ] not a bully but just two parts [ __ ] in one part [ __ ] constantly trolling me following me around talking [ __ ] I tried turning the other cheek being nice and she liked that but it just was not working fast forward to high school we are both on the wrestling team I'm like one weight class above him so we had lots and lots of close contact and he was still being a dick double leg takedown scoop that she had up in the air and dented the mat with him coach got pissed and made me do extra cardio after practice felt really f king good during our 100 multiple-choice law exam I wrote all my answers on the original exam page and colored in wrong answers on the scantron sheet the girl who copied me since day one thought she was going to pass this exam worth 30 percent of our final mark she looked over and copied almost each of my scantron answer then guessed a few handed listened and left for the winter break I erased all my old answers put the correct answers in handy listened and left I got seventy one stroke 100 and barely managed to pass that class I'll find out what she got on Tuesday when I maybe see her with a gun at my locker when I was in fourth grade I was pushed around a lot by a kid who thought he was hot [ __ ] I told my parents I told my teacher they told the teacher and the principal no avail so one day on the stairs he kicks the back of my shoe making it pop off and fall I turn and punch him in the stomach he keeled over and rolled felt down about 5-6 stairs to the next landing I didn't even get in trouble and even though he is still an [ __ ] he never dared to touch me again so my grandfather was driving and an obviously drunk man threw a rock and shattered his windshield my grandfather talked to him and told him if you give me your real number I'll only have you pay for half of the windshield or we can figure something out the guy turned out to give him a fake number a year later my grandfather picks up a guy from park-and-ride carpooling he happens to be the man that shattered his windshield there driving on the freeway and the guy doesn't recognize him he's being rude and talking on his phone my grandpa asks to see his phone and throws it out the window the guy freaks out and my grandpa goes remember me . he then made him get out of the car Canadian air cadets summer camp got picked on and things stolen from by one other cadet with issues for duration of the camp was allowed to go by Sundays at a local pharmacy once a week on final day of camp we did precision parade drills for friends family dignitaries etc sorted like graduating from boot camp a formal event where we were expected to be at our best swap the contents of a package of Chiclets HTTP n Wikipedia old wiki Chiclets for a package of FINA mint laxative gum sure enough bully takes the gum as I opened the package in front of him awhile later we are called up for drill since it was hot and in full uniform if we experienced exhaustion or were about to faint we were to drop to one knee and wait till we taken out of formation he and one other guy dropped to one knee partway through I don't know a fish T himself bit I like to think he did my friend Roman had just bought a brand-new shiny bike we were taking it for a spin around the neigborhood and stopped off at my woman's house we left the bikes on her big porch and went inside not five minutes later we went outside and my friend's new bike was missing we promptly hop in my car and stop to search Eugene for the bike after about an hour we were giving up and thought we'd better check the central bus station one last time sure enough there was 16 year roughly with my friend's bike and stickers already removed we pulled over and confronted him he said he found the bike an edition promptly handed it back I was putting the bike in the car while my friend fumed and looked up this kid up and down right as we're about to head out he yells give me f king jacket he made the kid give him the jacket he was wearing his punishment for stealing the bike we ended up finding lipstick a camera with some unusual self eyes and other random things in the pockets it was a nice rugged Carhartt jacket to this day my friend still uses it I found out my gf was cheating on me so I moved out I kept my copy of the apartment key for a while after and I'd go over when she wasn't home and past small but worthwhile amounts of urine into her collection of shoes and swirl her toilet with both toothbrushes by the bathroom sink a friend of mine had been seriously third-wheeling me with a certain girl that I was into I asked why and he said it was fair game may the best man win so I decided to find him another suitable partner I went on to AMA goal typed gay into preferences met a slew of lovely middle-aged men who wanted my kick and thus gave them his he received pictures of asses dicks and 44 year old men wanting to let Daddy see you in my eyes justice was served finally no regrets I got in a fight with one of my friends when I was about 12 or so we were in a heated argument and I decided enough is enough so I picked up some seaweed with a stick from the nearby creek and threw that sh t on her head o sweet justice my friend's ex she was quite the b tch and deserved to be dumped she treated my friend like sh t and saw him as nothing more than a pair of lips after they broke up she refused to talk to us fast forward two months she's still a bit bitter at most of our group with the exception of me she wanted me so she asks me out that's when we came up with a brilliant plan in order to put as much distance between her and me along with making her feel extremely uncomfortable we decided that everyone would just so conveniently be at the movie theatre when we were on our date this included her ex and his current gf the look on her face when she was essentially flashmob dand completely ignored for the night was priceless there was a teacher that I hated in middle school and he hated me just as much one day I noticed that one of the magazines in our classroom had his address on it I wrote it down and waited until summer vacation so it would be less suspicious I went to borders and got a bunch of magazine subscription inserts and had a close friend who went to another school fill them out with his information I checked the bill me later and sent them out when I got back to school the next year I could tell he suspected me but couldn't prove it and I was happy because I didn't have any classes with him anymore my ex said she'd call the cops on me for confronting her repeatedly about having stolen and rehoming my cat so I went home and called the cops on her found out what she did with my cat after that close bracket my younger sister was a huge pain always got me in trouble I took the Harry Potter books scribbled out Snape's name and rogue Talent Rickman in every instance I think she still cries about it about a month ago I found out my coworker a good friend of mine was cheating with my gf ever time teamed up with few other work buddies and decided to teach him a lesson we went to a Korean Mart and bought two frozen raw fishes with the help of one of my buddies I was able to get hold of his car keys so we hid one of those two fish we bought earlier in a place which would be pretty obvious and easy to notice and we duct tape the other fish underneath his passenger side seat he did find one of the fish and was pretty mad with us here's the sweet revenge though he kept complaining that he just couldn't get rid of the fish smell from his car even though he cleaned his car with shampoo and has used all the kinds of car scent I quit that work a few days after so I don't know if he found the other fish yet we don't talk anymore the bully who played a large part in my anorexia asking me out in college not realizing who I was I shot him down hard and told him how he affected me he scoffed it off but looked really sad every time he saw me back in high school the senior football players egged my dog she was outside house and car I had a few bras over and we ended up inviting some of the prettier girls from my school over football players didn't approve of them being at my house and drove by egging and yelled [ __ ] you at me they also egged the girls cars that were my house I felt embarrassment this happened to them at my house I knew which car they drove because of the yelling idiot and recognized the car my friends and I hopped in my car and bought around 100 eggs to take our revenge we hit the drivers house first and all of his friends cars parked around the house then we went out looking for them ended up meeting them on your average two-way street leaned out the windows and absolutely pelted them while we were both heading opposite ways they got out and yelled and I stuck my middle finger out the window and we rode into the distance they didn't cause any problems to the girls or myself after that I was in the locker room in high school gym class hiding in the back because I had to call my mother about something a SAP just as I'm listening to the recording this kid who had been a longtime bully to me came over and started taunting me with his usual threats as I was leaving the message in which I did not want him taunting me in the background I kicked him as hard as I could I aimed for his stomach but he reacted and somehow managed to get himself kicked in the balls instead he looked at me in shock and amusement and ran away I managed to finish the message without faltering once not long after this I happened to be at the DMV with the same kid and both of our fathers both of us testing to get our permits I passed he failed extra karma [ __ ] someone at my apartment complex kept stealing our newspaper one Sunday I got up very early brought in the Sunday paper took it out of its colored bag took the Saturday paper that I had filled full of baby powder put it in the sunday paper bag and put it back outside the door no one ever stole my paper again this isn't that great but I worked as a contractor helping IT setup hardware for a branch of hospitals almost everyone was easy to get along with but one of the contractors treated me like I was an idiot because I was the only one there without any formal IT training it was a daily explanation of something very simple that I all ready understood okay C dubs - you know how to put a USB in right last right well okay but just in case you forgot let me show you double quote dude we did not have time for this Eko trip [ __ ] I just kept my mouth shut and worked my ass off for the length of the contract a few months later I was rehired by the same IT team they wanted me to go through the previous contractors we had that summer and pick up which ones to help out with our project guess who didn't get hired driving home around 2:00 in the morning two cars ahead of me one is clearly giving the other car a hard time tailgating him cutting him off windows open and he's yelling tame other guy I catch up at the light and see a scared older man 70 plus getting verbally cast out by this kid now I'm totally sober and I know that cops hang out in the back of the parking lot at work hep hep there were security guards on their off hours I get he Punk's attention and he starts harassing me one mile to go cussing at me trying to cut me off I pull into the parking lot he follows whip down to the back and yep there's the cop lights come on both of us get pulled over other guys screaming and I only have to explain for 30 seconds of what happened I leave the scene like I did my good deed for the day TLDR save the old man from being harassed cops pull over and arrest the right guy for 10 months I had the worst roommate ever a 40 year old guy who acted like he was 21 his parents support him and pay for his condo which I rent in a room in with no lease as such I had no tenant rights which he took advantage of he was loud drunk drugged out and yelling racial obscenities at the TV daily he was constantly forcing me to listen to his rants about things he had no real knowledge about this guy was the most spoiled empted old inconsiderate narcissistic person I have ever met the day I was supposed to move out he was past the f ck out from a day's long alcohol and drug binge I moved all of my stuff into the truck and was driving off when it hit me there was a possum carcass on the side of the road near the condo I went back up grabbed his barbecue tongs and a bag and picked up that carcass I walked back up again went in opened the door to his room and whipped that carcass onto his bed then waked out of that place for the last time he never even stirred as the dead possum Rossing and baked by the Sun landed next to him with a sickening plot he deserves worse actually but I did what I could this isn't as clever or conniving as some on here but it still ranks as the number one top spot for my best revenge moment I was 13 and was reclining on a beach chair this boy about my age and his younger friend who I'd known for about a week was standing behind me and kept messing with the chair and wouldn't stopped when I asked them to him and his friend were classic little bratty redneck children the younger one had a rattail mullet relevant for later and the entire time I'd known and they were spouting off about how the boys were doing this but the girls couldn't do that because they were girls stuff like that the last time they messed with my chair I stood up spun around and look the bigger one dead in the eye and told him he'd better stop he looked right at me with a smirk on his face and asked what are you going to do about it as soon as the words left his mouth I punched him dead in the iron grabbed the younger kids rattle mullet and yanked it so hard he fell to the ground then I sat back down both started crying almost immediately and didn't mess with me again eight years later and it's still the best feeling of revenge I've ever had was staying at my girlfriend's house in two couple houses away was a group of people who would Bend late into the night go out and then begin bending again one night after having a very interrupted sleep I overheard one of the girls in the house loudly ordering pizza to an all-night place in the cross this is in Sydney she have her credit card number and I quickly copied it down the next day I went on a flower delivery site and delivered their 80 dollar bouquet to the four houses around the house on either side of the street with a note saying sorry for the noise we apologize and won't do it again they have been quiet ever since in eighth grade I was hanging with two of my friends at the local HS we had just finished playing a pickup game of football as we were walking to the bathrooms I saw what I thought was a friend and said hey man what's up we had played Pop Warner together for years so I knew him he came out acting really tough and strange then about seven other black dudes came out with him I guess he joined a gang over the summer anyway the proceeded to jump me and beat the SH T out of me while the friends are I was with just stood there and watched I'm not friends with them anymore law it was a long bloody walk home I never forgot about it anyway football season came around and look who is on my team we get paired together in a drill where one person holds the football and another person tackles both ppl laying flat on their back coach blew the whistle and I never ran so hard in my life I trucked the sh t out of him to the point I cracked his helmet and he cried like a little girl I stood over him and said where's your gang now he showed me mad respect laughter that never said a word to me to this day I still think about how awesome it felt I was once staying at a friend's house in the seventh grade his older sister thought it would be a good idea to embarrass him in front of me by cracking an egg over his head from the top of the balcony when we got home from school my friend was infuriated and woke me up at 5 0 a.m. the next morning went into the kitchen and started whisking a bowl of eggs 5 minutes and 5 eggs later we went downstairs to his sister's room where he poured the whole bowl of whisked egg onto her face the look of horror as she woke up with her face covered in egg was probably one of the funnest things I have seen in my entire life to this day she has never f ked with him again I was bullied a lot in middle school because you know middle school I was a quiet unassuming itty-bitty girl who got along well with the teachers and always did my homework answered questions blah blah blah one day in class this kid is being a D CK and throwing his stuff at me whatever the usual but when the teacher is turned away I whip an eraser one if his that he had thrown at this kid's face and hit him right in the middle of his f game for Eid he's stunned for a second and then tries to get me in trouble b tch can't do sh t because oh it is his eraser and two no one believed that I would do something like that made my day it won't sound that great but it was great to me I was dating and living with this guy only for about six months but in that time he cheated on me repeatedly I know shouldn't have stayed manipulated me tried to control me had me paying for everything had a job for only a brief two months and in the end started hitting me oddly enough he broke up with me so I got an apartment of my own and got all mushed out another ordeal a few months later I'm much happier and relieved to have gotten away from that experience me and my friend are watching a movie up to about 2:00 in the morning when there's a knock on the door I go to answer it and [ __ ] is there he's crying and his pupils are huge and he's acting weird I asked him if he was tripping and he said he'd eating a lot of shrooms then he said he just needed to talk to me it was winter it was raining outside and it couldn't have been better I just slammed the door in his face dead bolt in it and went back upstairs and had a good laugh with my friend it just felt good to do that it felt like some sort of revenge to me it was satisfying to say the least in sixth grade I was bullied by basically my entire class we had home rooms that would travel around together all day there was one particular kid who was especially nasty he was the athletic jock type and caused some emotional scarring because I had never been made fun of before sixth grade fast forward to high school when the school had a dodgeball tournament a lot of the teams dressed up in uniforms and my team decided our uniform would be dresses I'm a male this jocks team was our first match we proceeded to annihilate them me getting out five of the six people on the team including the ask jock while I was wearing a low-cut dress probably won't get read but who goes in middle school I was kind of the ugly duckling I had teeth too big and my smile was awful no boobs didn't know how to dress horrible haircuts no idea how to put makeup on I also had a huge crush on this kid let's call him Mike so Mike from sixth to eighth grade wouldn't give me the time of day made fun of me behind my back laughed in my face but awkward me still wanted to date him got sent to summer school in between eighth and ninth grade where I proceeded to make friends with one of the more popular kids in my soon-to-be high school over the summer I grew unto my teeth got boobs new clothes and learned makeup started freshman year looking like a different person Mike saw me and ended up cornering me in the hallway where we had a conversation where he started telling me how good I looked and asked me out because of the confidence of being friends with some of the cool kids I laughed in his face tailed him he had his chance and lost it that was his own fault and I walked away smiling to this day 17 years later that's all one of my favorite memories of high school being able to turn down my crush because I was hot and he had missed out revenge is sweet edited the random Joe out as well as fixed my spelling now that was bad law last year the kid who sat behind me in math copied my answers for the last three tests I told him to stop when I found out and he lashed out on me so during the exam I caught him taking my answers so I started to put the wrong answers at the end he handed it in and while walking back to his seat I erased every answer I put in and looked him dead in the eye while doing it not me but my good friend got married to a guy that she met online he was originally from the town we live in but he was stationed at a Naval Base in Washington State at the time she found out that he cheated on her and she went f king insane she hopped in her car and drove from Iowa to Washington straight through when she arrived in town she was even more crazed and high on caffeine and she went to his house and drove straight through his garage door he was at work at the time and by the time he got home she had systematically destroyed every single thing he owned right down to taking every single CD out of its case and breaking it in half she also used a can of spray paint to write cheater on every surface the level of damage was outrageous there really wasn't anything salvageable best part those [ __ ] are still married nuts not my personal revenge but the older brother of a good friend of mine he was a freshman in college and was in band on drum line on a long bus ride the upperclassmen all decided to lock him in the bath bathroom they had peed everywhere and it was horribly disgusting so the next time they all took a trip he made cookies but put laxatives in them and gave them out to all the upperclassmen needless to say he was never f ked with again [Music] [Music]

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Id: tHVqJfrslqw

Length: 34min 52sec (2092 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 18 2020