What's your "I can explain" story? r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

what's your worst I know this looks bad but I can explain moment I was volunteering at a pool for my instructors certification the girl I was with was really thirsty and asked if I would mind getting her a Powerade from the vending machine since she couldn't leave her class she told me where her wanted to a so I could get her change another staff member walked in while I was taking the money from her wallet I was the most straight-laced nervous kid on earth law I explained she either believe me or checked with the lifeguard later but either way the first girl got her power raid and the pool hired me later so the second girl knows I'm not a thief i day mine's a little different I was at a corporate function and noticed that the president of the company was trying to clean his glasses with a paper napkin being the well-prepared person I am I always keep a microfiber cloth in my pocket I wear glasses too and I prefer to actually clean the glasses not just smudge the oils around I digress so I reach into my pocket grab a cloth and hand it to him and he responds with a confused heart double quote now at this time I also have a son who is going through potty training so I tended to keep spare clothes usually in my backpack but also in the pockets of my overcoat I look over and the president of my company is kind of staring advert unused thank God pair of Jake in the middle and pirates underwear boy's size small I just handed him and of course my immediate response wasn't a laugh wasn't it to say oh those are my kids backup pair no my response was to immediately say those aren't mine which was one obvious and to not guilty sounding at all this happened in high school shortly after I started dating my first boyfriend at the time I would often wear a camisole with a built-in bra layer under a v-neck tee one day I was wearing this outfit but wanted to go shopping after school for other shirts so I brought a regular bra with me to try stuff on after I got out of the store I for some reason didn't want to put the bra in my bag so I put it in the armrest compartment between the front seats of my dad's car and of course immediately forgot it was there the next day my parents were getting ready to go somewhere they had left the house but moments later my mom barge back in demanding to know why I was taking off my clothes in the car I frantically tried to explain the clothes shopping story but to this day I'm not sure she bought it I work at a school portrait company I retouch thousands of images and sometimes I need to retouch inappropriate things while this high school girl was wearing a see-through shirt and I had to retouch out her nipples I was in the office by myself as a 20-something year old man when a girl walks in and sees me zoomed in on this high school girl see-through shirt I can explain I told her I am NOT a creep I'm just retouching her sure so you can't see her nipples it was very awkward but since she worked as a photographer she completely understood once I explained I used to work in youth sports photography this process is actually important we had someone order a poster size image of their basketball player but uh you could see the outline of his junk we had to be shorter fix it because taking the cause of upset parents over these issues is just awkward oh man back in my early 20s around mid 2000s when jackass was all the craze I went to a house party a girl there took a big liking to me and kept coming on to me pretty strong I was in a relationship and kept turning her down I went into the parents bedroom to take a call when she came into the room and tried to kiss me I said no and she started to undress I told my friend on the other end of the phone what was going on and he just said well jump out the window 20-year old drunk me thought this was a great idea just like CKY jackass so I opened the window and jumped out onto the grass below rolled and walked away unhurt the next thing I know there is a dolphin and semi-naked crazy chick was laying on the ground she had jumped out after me hit the earth below slipped and fallen backwards hitting her head on the ground people inside the party heard the noise and came running out the door of the house to find me standing over a semi-conscious half-naked gerald's as a broke college kid one of my go-to meals was a zero dollar sixty-nine chili dog from 7 - 11 which was four blocks from my dorm I had no car one winter's night I bundled up in my heavy coat gloves and beanie and went to get missile one so I'm heading back holding my foil wrapped dinner and the side to run to get out of the cold faster common next thing I know a cop car screeches to a halt in front of me and I'm ordered to the ground spent the next couple minutes explained to NJ PD why I'm running out of a convenience store at night in a ski mask waving a shiny metal object TL DR suspected assault with a deadly whiner I was really tall in junior high one of my best friends at the time was pretty short and we had a running joke where he would use a little kid voice whenever standing next to me because I was so much taller so one day were playing tag around my church building grew up in a conservative house after most people had already left and my buddy runs into the bathroom and locks himself in a stall but I was taller than the wall of the stall so I pressed up against it and looked down at him and said in my best creepy voice you can't hide from me and he used his little kid voice to say oh no somebody please help double-quote of course one of the old church ladies were standing in the doorway behind us watching the whole thing with horror turns out she was there to clean and caught us at exactly the wrong time a female friend of mine who is a police officer was on a welfare check and was bit by the property owners dog she was about a mile from my house when bitten because I am an EMT she decided to call me to see if I could inspect where she was bitten and advised if she needed to go to the hospital she show up at my house and limps into the kitchen telling me the dog bit her just below her left butt cheek on the rear of her upper thigh I was worried that the bite had broke the skin and she would need to get it bandaged and possibly get a rabies shot I told her that I would have to take a look at the bite to help her so she takes off a duty belt and pulls her pants down to around her knees to expose the bite area it didn't look too bad but they were to spots where the dog's teeth had broke the skin I told her I would bandage it up so she could make the 20-minute drive to the clinic I was just about to bandage her leg when my wife walks through the door there I am with one of our female friends standing in our kitchen in her police officer uniform pants down she was wearing a thong I was sitting so basically her ass was in my face and my hands on her upper thigh but we both had the deer-in-the-headlights tear as we realized how bad this must have looked to my wife we then both shouted out in unison it was a dog bite dart I moved to a new state and only made one friend we hung out a lot at his place and even worked together his parents thought it was weird we spent a lot of time together already but what happened made it so much worse he wanted to surprise his mom by installing a new radio in her car without her knowing we were parked outside his house on the curb its night changing the radio when he dropped some tools on the floor of the driver's seat where he's sitting me being a nice friend slouched over his lap to pick him up the tools from beyond the car floor from the passenger's seat while he kept working on the radio just then his dad pulls up next to him and asks what's he's doing my dumb bus without thinking how bad it looked lifted my head slightly to see how it was the looked on his dad's face was terrifying no mayo I work for a company that deals with varying mentally challenged individuals occasionally this job requires me to physically intervene to keep them or others safe I was driving a girl home from a doctor's appointment once and she decided that she didn't want to go home at that moment and opened the car door when I was on a road going 55 fortunately she still had her seatbelt on and I was able to pull over and stop the car before she could do so but she was now attempting to jump into traffic so I grabbed her in a bear hug and pull her to the side of the road at this point I should explain that I'm six feet five inches and the girl was about four minutes and 11 seconds a good old boy in a lift kit truck pulls over with a gun on his hip demanding what in the f-ck I was doing to the girl who was now screaming rape I explained I was simply trying to do my job and he threatened to call the cops which I calmly said please do double quote the girl in question was known to the police and once they arrived on scene and were able to get her safely into the back of a squad car I was able to provide evidence of my employment which was in my wallet in what I think was year three or four primary school I was squeezing paint out of a paint bottle a teacher nearby told me that had done enough the bottle was still in a squeeze shape and I wanted to return its normal shape without getting paint everywhere so I turned the bottle and squeezed a little more with it still pointing down the teacher looked at me and said Michael enough I replied but she then enforced the common [ __ ] don't answer back dot looking back at that now I realize how much I hate anyone who's made out that a child's response reasoning is completely invalid and worthless even in the mildest of cases it destroys a child's self-confidence [ __ ] neurotic teacher still pissed 12 years later was working on a movie shoot in a remote location so the crew was all put up in a local motel one evening I'm sitting in my room in front of my laptop gaming I get an H down below on the round fellows as we men occasionally so of course I stick my hand down my shorts to scratch also of course right at that moment the girl on the crew I've been crushing on opened the door to talk to me about something she sees me sitting in front of a laptop with my hands down my shorts and apparently makes the wrong assumption she lets out a loud gasp and closes the door quickly for the rest of the shoe she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite me trying to explain all over a little itch I forgot to get my son his favorite Christmas toy one year it was a superhero action figure he really really wanted I had told my wife I had gotten it months ago but had been busy at work so I had forgotten Christmas Eve came along and I was like sheet I need to go get this action figure so I just head to the store unbeknownst to me this is the hottest selling toy at the time and the staff literally laughs in my face when I asked them about it after a full day of looking for the toy going store to store and fighting a goddamn mailman I give up when I get home I remember my neighbor had gotten his son the same toy and it was right inside his house I knew they were out so I tried to sneak in and grab it while this was happening I accidentally kicked a nativity character into the fire long story short the fire alarm went off and my wife and neighbor came barreling inside unfortunately it was exactly what it looked like damn turtleman doll late to the party but this actually belongs here around 10 years ago I together with five lovers was leader on a camp week with around 25 Cub Scouts boys aged 7 - 11 in the evening kids were already to bed I see what I think is a tick in my pubic area it was and there I was sitting in a chair pants on my ankles with my fellow Scout leader sitting on the floor with his head between my legs creating a plan to remove the tick I still refuse to think about what any of the children might have thought should they have come out of bed then let alone what they could have told their parents the tick came out fine bTW usually it's me on reddit somehow going down a random rabbit hole exploring some article or subreddit that's totally foreign and NSFW with my wife walking in on me reading and browsing and she's usually what in the world were you looking at and I try to explain that it just comes out weird I think the last time it happened I was in some place where people posted pics of tattooed [ __ ] or something like that probably too late to be seen but I work for a religious NGO that operates a twenty four stroke seven shop one night after everyone except me and my coworker had left I noticed some dried coffee on one of the TV monitors on the wall to my left without really giving it any second thought I licked my finger and started to wipe away the coffee stain on the screen at that exact moment my coworker asked what on earth I was doing to my utter humiliation his wife and two friends walked in as he asked me what I was doing I quit focusing on the small stain on the screen to realize that a woman's underwear commercial was playing and I was rubbing the breast of the model on the screen I died in that moment my face turned so red as I desperately tried to explain the stain on the screen but they had already decided what I was doing most embarrassing thing I've ever done at work I borrowed my mom's camera wants to do a photography job well mine was broken and accidentally left the memory card in it a bit later my mom comes up to me very awkwardly and tells me I should get my memory card out of her camera as soon as possible I thought something seemed off and when I went to look at the pictures I realized what it was I had taken up close pictures of my leg while messing around because it looked like a butt and I thought it was funny very mature I know and never deleted them she had seen it thinking it was actually pictures of someone's ass that was awkward to explain I was on a road trip with my brother-in-law which was leading pretty deep into the night we drank a few Red Bulls a piece to stay awake for the last stretch of the drive but after a few hours we were both dying to use a bathroom we stopped off at a small gas station at around 3 a.m. and the only person inside other than the checkout bro was a policeman we had gone so long without peeing we were both limp walking and shimmy shaking ourselves to the bathroom just before I raised my head to see the cop I said jeez I drank way too much to my bro-in-law I looked drunk because I was trying not to pee myself half running half limping to the bathroom rest assured we both got checked before we pulled out of that gas station in first grade 6 years old I thought it would be a good idea to spell out the numbers along next to the numbers for our spelling test you know how your number the lined paper from 1-20 or however many words there is close bracket thing is I didn't know how to spell all of the numbers so naturally I whip the little paperback dictionary out from in my desk and use it to spell the numbers 1 through 20 I thought I was pretty smart and my teacher would be impressed I was an idiot and left the dictionary closed on my desk for the duration of the spelling test and she noticed towards the end of the test that I'd had a dictionary on my desk she became immediately furious and scolded me for cheating and I tried to explain fruit says that I hadn't cheated and only used it to spell the numbers I grew up in a conservative religious home where honesty was important and IWA a goody two-shoes so being yelled like this was quite traumatizing for me and after lots of explanation she believed me and I didn't lose my recess privileges I think about this often I'm almost 25 years old I got my first DSLR camera and wanted to see how good the low-light settings were it was late evening so I went to the window of my first floor flat and started taking pictures of a garden below a few moments later I realized my new neighbors young maybe 12 years old daughter was standing there looking up at me then ran indoors yelling someone's taking pictures of me I [ __ ] shat Mazal a very awkward introduction followed hi I live upstairs and I'm not a creep I'm very nervous person since childhood I always unintentionally shake my leg knock the table with my fingers etc I don't even realize I do this things usually so when I was like 10 years old I was sitting in the toilet and I get so bored being there I started to slap my legs like playing drums on them sooo my dad was nearby the toilet all along and he asked me what the hell are you doing there dot so I did answered the truth I just clap backed when I think he was just worried about weird sounds I just realized what it looked like for him that day now and x200 be I was like six months pregnant and I was cleaning up the bushes in the living room and I tripped over a box while bringing them into the kitchen glass everywhere cut my arms up my lip is busted open and I definitely needed stitches my husband drives me to the hospital and when I get into the see the doctor he asks me like three times to tell my story instantly I can tell he thinks somehow my husband did this to me now I have a problem where when I knew I sholdn't say something I just can't help but say it so the fourth time he asks me what happened I laugh and say no he didn't push me down the stairs the doctor looks nervous and tells my husband he should leave the room while he stitched my lip then the doctor gets into a speech about how if I'm being abused telling people will actually help etc I tell him I'm glad he asked me about it because that's a good thing to do but honestly I just tripped because I'm clumsy haha I was shopping a few years ago with my girlfriend at the time we went to Victoria's Secret because they had a sale and she wanted some cute underwear and a new swimsuit for a trip we were taking anyway she's in the changing room trying on a swimsuit and I'm standing there with an armload of the things she's already picked out in her dad and my former track coach walks past the store so I try to shrink back into the corner and hope he didn't see me but I'm a big guy in a ladies underwear store and I'm sure I stood out pretty well because he comes right up and asks if I'd care to explain what I'm doing there I'm trying not to get his daughter in trouble so I stopped to say they're a gift before realizing that it's really not much better for me to be buying her a lace thong but I already said they're and he's giving me you're about to die kind of look so I panic and say surprisingly comfortable and immediately wish I could just die on the spot but thankfully he left before my girlfriend finished trying on her stuff I got a pair of panties in my Christmas stocking that year I was case managing a family with multiple and complex issues I took the grandma out for coffee so I could have some discussion away from the rest of the fam gran is half deaf and was telling me about her daughter with meth addiction whose dog was pregnant to its brother and she says really it's disgusting that he even [ __ ] his sister in the first place meaning the dog but she didn't happen to shout that bit out hold cafe went quiet like in western movies where a stranger walks into the local pub I started fiddling with my work lanyard I tags hoping that people would notice I wasn't her actual friend one time in school during the lunch period my buddy and I were bored and so we decided to try to learn how to fight grapple logical right so we looked up some YouTube videos and decided the first thing to learn was how to get out of a full-nelson it involved one person lifting the other and I wasn't strong enough to lift the other guy so it was decided that I would be the one doing the Nelson we found a secluded hallway and proceeded to tried out the move a teacher walked in right as my friend was flipping me around over his shoulder and it looked like I was trying to choke him out the teacher just stood there looking at his confused and just sighed as she went back into her room while I tried to explain what was going on my now former roomies who are fundamentalist evangelicals and the parents of one of my best friends accidentally went through my laundry and found feminine clothes and flipped their [ __ ] they had just kicked their daughter my friend out a month earlier because they found out she's in a relationship with her friend Audrey they were certain that I was either cross-dressing or sleeping around even though sleeping around made a lot less sense given the living conditions of that house I told them that they belonged to a girl I would occasionally give rides out to her parents house about 45 minutes outside of town she forgot them in the car and was supposed to do her laundry there she wouldn't have an opportunity to do them again for a week or two of course they're mine and I've been transitioning for about two months under their noses but they're ready to believe anything as long as it's not the awful truth freshman year of college I had made it through my rounds of interviews for a job and the last thing I needed to do to make it official was to take a drug test at the time I was smoking a decent amount of pot and there was no way I would pass so I bought the fake B this particular brand of fake P came with two lids one of which had a little flip out pour spout I thought that sounded super handy just have the bottle taped upside down to my leg flip the spout out and pour it into the receptacle so I'm all set fake pee has been microwaved to body temperature pour spout lid is on and it's taped to my leg with the spout facing down I run out of my dorm room down the hall and into the stairwell as soon as I enter the stairwell I feel a slight wetness against my thigh I look down to see a wet spot growing in my pants and yell out [ __ ] dot the moment I look up from my piss spot I see a girl at the top of the stairs one floor above me just standing there staring at me looking shocked I said nothing and turned back into my hole to take care of my problem so there is some girl out there who thinks that I suffer from early onset incontinence my school had uniforms which included a three-stroke full-length skirt for girls due to the awkward length if you bent down wearing it you were at a risk of standing on the edge with your heels and accidentally pulling it down when you stood up because of this I tended to bend over in it by separating my legs slightly and bending over barely straightening my knees I was 13 and walking to science class and I was holding my science book I drop it and bend down in my regular fashion to pick it up into my crush who'd been walking behind me accidentally walks right into the back of me and in shock threw his hands up and said whoa because there probably wasn't anticipating walking right into a girl's ass so there we stand like Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus god-awful VMAs performance both totally shell-shocked and our geography teacher an old timid man makes eye contact with me and I think my expression of pure embarrassment just made me look older more guilty I went to the club with a couple chicks I met at the laundromat I gots way more trash than I meant to and they took me back to their place there were run mates there was another do there when we got there presumably a third run mate but I didn't know them well enough to know who he was we split off to crash for the night and one of the girls took me back to her room and starts changing with me in there naturally I start shedding some clothes myself well this girl must have been pretty tipsy too because she lost her balance while changing and fell into her closet making a very loud crash my first reaction was to help her up but within seconds the dude and the other girl roommate came rushing in the room to see me half naked standing over their friend on the floor of her closet entangled in her own clothes I immediately realized how bad that must have looked and was like [ __ ] my high school boyfriend and I were on extreme watch from his paranoid parents cause they were certain we were having SX when we actually weren't one day we were hanging out in his room door open and everything and his pants randomly fell down when he got up to go that the bathroom or something he was skinny and baggy skater fashion was in combo I was sitting on his bed silence laughing while he was standing there embarrassed in his boxes and giggling when his dad barges in before he can pull his pants up like what the hell are you kids doing like something out of movie and there is no way he's buying it I couldn't even blame him but I swear we didn't lose our virginity for at least a few months after that I was playing ugr card game at my locals and the kid I am versing is like 10 and knows how to play pretty well so we are playing he pulls out a sigh frame Omega $25 card at the time after the match has done and moves into the next round he suddenly realizes he is missing his other side frame Omega and everyone is pretty much eyeing me also I have only been coming for four weeks while he probably have been coming for months after about four minutes the guy beside me is getting annoyed of the delay and asked to check my staff I had my own sight frame in a different sleeve color for another deck I was building he pulls it out and asks if it's his kid says no and after that awkward match he tells his mom everything and she calls home to ask her husband if it's there turns out it's at home at an old company I worked at years ago I shared an office with the owner's son who had suffered it'd be years earlier and wasn't quite right nice kid but was just a little off from time to time my office mate had just been prescribed adderall and comes in with this bottle of pills and asks me if I want one I tell him no I'm okay and he keeps pressing me about how I need to try one of his pills I explained that my GF had a prescription most of my friends also did and if I ever wanted one I could just ask them I wasn't big on pills and we had random drug tests too so for various reasons again I declined he mentions it again a bit later how I need to try one and with that he gets up from his desk drops a couple of them on my desk and leaves our office I'm sitting there looking at these pills I don't want and hear him walking down the hall I grabbed them go over to his desk and open up the drawer I saw him put the bottle in open the bottle and immediately then I hear him walking back in a rush I spilled the entire bottle of a Darrel all over his desk he comes walking in and I'm standing there holding his empty bottle with pills everywhere I tried to explain that I didn't want his pills never wanted his pills and was only putting them back in his bottle but I'm pretty sure he never realized I was being honest and thought I was just some pill thief long ago @gf was laying in my lap watching a movie she had a blanket over her and I had been joking around pulling it over her head at scary adult moments she hooked her feet over the end to stop me from doing that of course a scary adult Park came up and I was struggling to pull it over her head as she tried to hold it down her dad opened the door white as the blanket popped off her feet and covered her head so it looked like she was giving me an aggressive BJ on the couch instead of killing me he turned right around and walked out not as exciting as a lot of these stories but when I was 11 - 12 my mom found a charge on the cable account for some weird porn channel she naturally thought it was me and probably didn't believe me when I swore that it wasn't and it genuinely wasn't to this day I have no idea how it got there my parents are divorced so no not my dad why on earth would I buy a subscription to a porn channel knowing it would come up in the bills when there was free porn on the internet my theory is Comcast or AT&T whichever we had at a time through it or there is an extra charge since we had a family plan for multiple TVs honestly would be a genius way to rack up charges because most parents probably wouldn't believe their kids when the kid denied buying it and so they wouldn't dispute the charge with the cable company and just paying up the denial to an embarrassed teenager the only reason I'm even telling this story is because for the first time in 13 years since it happened it came to my mind while I was trying to fall asleep scumbag braining saying I bet your mom never believed you about that porn charge about two years ago I was in class and get a random phone call from the girl I was seeing at the time there's a lot of incoherent rambling then eventually she just starts yelling I'm dying help she eventually admits she took a handful of pills so naturally I call 911 and rush over there to find her half-naked in her backyard just screaming I go out there and carry her inside to wait on the ambulance but accidentally drops her in the living room then not thirty seconds later in walks her mom and five-year-old daughter I'm just standing there like an idiot and say something like hey I'm all me don't worry I've called an ambulance they stopped freaking out and then her dad shows up and starts freaking out meanwhile the girl is still half-naked writhing on the ground growling like Linda Blair from The Exorcist like deep guttural noises it was a pretty weird situation I had been doing laundry earlier in the day and I have a couple of daughters I had picked up a drop pair of panties while moving laundry from the garage to the girls rooms and absent-minded mindedly stuck them in my pocket later I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out the panties not remembering if they were dropped on the way to the garage to be washed or on the way back I gave them a sniff determined they were clean and put them back in my pocket to put away later then realized what a pervert I'd look like to anyone who had watched me sniff little girl panties I had in my pocket fortunately nobody was looking at me at the time bTW this was the cautious sniff of a parent who's cared for and changed diapers for several small children I didn't bury my face in them that would be gross in high school my friends and I used to go to Rocky Horror every weekend we would often end up back at my place watching movies all night or whatever one of my friends used to perform as Rocky he had changed out of his outfit at some point and somehow his gold lamé underwear got left on my couch and pushed between the cushions my mom found em a few days later and had some questions about why men's gold lamé underwear were in our couch where they mine was I carry where they clean no no and mostly she still tells that story 30 plus years later maybe not the worst but when I was in high school and old enough to know better I had this bottle rocket I saved from New Year's Eve it had been lit but didn't go off but the fuse was burned down to a quarter-inch it was after I was supposed to be in bed and my parents were chilling in the living room I didn't have a match or lighter so my plan was to make it from the gas stove to outside where I would throw it all so it was summer so I was just in tighty whities needless to say all did not go according to plan I made it halfway to the door before the thing went off this was the kind with the report so it went foosh bang everyone comes running to see me stunned in the kitchen in tighty whities holding a spent bottle rocket my arm blackened like a cartoon character from the sort it's semi permanently embedded little bits of something in my forearm though it didn't really hurt just shock the hell out of me my dad assessed the situation and then starts laughing like hell I was at work and my cousin said she was in the area and asked if I wanted to have lunch with her and surprise my niece at a park nearby I said sure and went over when I got to the park I was walking towards the benches when I saw my niece run in front of me she hadn't seen me so I ran up behind her picked her up covered her eyes and whispered guess who in her a while I continued walking to where my cousin was seated it wasn't till I heard a couple gasps and some parents getting up defensively that I realized what it looked like I work construction my clothes didn't help I immediately put her down and she turned around and hugged me which seemed to put everyone at ease my cousin was cracking up when I got to the table and still occasionally calls me a part pillow which leads to more I know this looks sounds bad moments to this day this is a doozy I was working in a childcare center in my first week when a child decided to climb a chair right next to a small brick wall in the second it took for me to realize and stop reacting he was falling headfirst into the brick wall to stop him smashing his head and when I put the only thing that could reach him in time between him and the wall my foot kid hits my foot falls to the floor and lucky is now saved from a bad head injury then I hear from behind me did you just kick that child it was my supervisor luckily she saw the whole thing understood and helped me write the incident report and more importantly the parents understood laughed and thanked me I was traveling throughout Europe while my girlfriend was back in the US I met some people in Prague and got too drunk and somehow I had made it back to my hostel for the night I woke up to my girlfriend facetiming me so I answered and I looked up apparently rarely disheveled saw the time on my phone and said oh [ __ ] my Buster Vienna was leaving in 20 minutes and I had to hustle so I immediately hung up on my girlfriend and started rushing around she kept trying to call me but I didn't answer until I got to the bus station to her this looked like I woke up so I answered a call from her did not want her to see someone in bed with me Syd oh [ __ ] and immediately hung up and refused to answer for about 10 minutes so obviously she thought I had a girl in my bed and was cheating on her took a long time to convince her otherwise first thing I tend to laugh uncontrollably depending on the degree of how nervous or uncomfortable I am one time in high school I went up to a friend to ask him if I could borrow a book from him but he said oh that book wasn't mine I had previously borrowed it from Jill named go ask her but I wasn't very sure if any name was the girl either because it was a common name so I pointed at the girl who I though would be the one and asked that girl name and she turned and saw me pointing at her and I couldn't help but chuckle because I knew it looked through that I was pointing at her while talking to someone realizing that from her point of view it looked like I was making fun of her it made me laugh harder while wanting to die at the same time I don't know if she even got mad I was even too afraid then to go up to her to say I was sorry and explained to her why I was pointing and laughing at her anyway yes she was the girl with the book I was looking for so I never got the book my now husband and I were at an improv practice playing a game called freeze where a couple people are in a scene trying to use big gestures and movements throughout it and when someone's standing on the outside of the scene sees a position they like they call freeze and take the exact position of the person and begin a completely new scene anyway he was in the middle of the scene pretending to be a cow someone in the scene with him was pretending to milk him he had his back arched and butt out that's when a group of his old college friends walked in it didn't look bad it was just hilarious and embarrassing I love improv this was several years ago when I was still living at home I was dating this woman and we were at my house sitting on the couch watching a movie her head was in my lap this is an important detail later she was prone to me grains and was having one at that moment she asked me to turn off the lamp on the side table because light sensitivity and I turned it off then she said it was still too bright and asked if I could put a pillow over her head so we're sitting there still watching the movie out comes my dad from the bedroom who sees his son with his girlfriend who has her head in his lap covered by a pillow he didn't know what to do until I realized what it looked like and showed him that she totally wasn't giving me a bj in the living room one of my friends was in a cycling accident commuting home from class one night and wound up in the ER she needed someone to make sure her dog Fox is taken care of she left her bedroom window unlocked so I should be able to get in the house now Fox is semi familiar with me but I still don't like the idea of crawling in a window and facing a pretty big dog unannounced so I've got the window in the alley cracked and I'm trying to call Fox and let her know that I'm there and coming in I'm saying stuff like hey foxy girl foxy lady e.t.c e.t.c meanwhile the upstairs neighbor hears all of this while she is sitting on the toilet and thinks someone is doing some perv peeping toms stuff looking into windows luckily it was all cleared up pretty quickly as we were all college kids that saw each other in and out fairly often but it almost took a bad turn [Music] [Music]

Channel: Reddit Jar

Views: 119,781

Rating: 4.8613272 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/AskReddit, ask reddit, askreddit, updoot, toadfilms, sir reddit, reddit jar, askreddit funny, askreddit dumb, reddit ama, reddit ask me anything, r/askreddit, reddit stories, reddit story, askreddit scary, askreddit stupid, scary stories, askreddit new, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, askreddit top posts, subreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, askreddit stories, best of reddit, reddit best, funny askreddit, storytime with reddit, r/

Id: d4HJ45WUWic

Length: 40min 33sec (2433 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 16 2019