WEIRD DM'S 4 - I'M DONE

oh you know what time it is it's time for me to read your weird message is that cool tagline for the for this segment reading your weird message it no no auto-tune none of that you're going raw we're gonna raw on the vocals okay we already know about going raw online you bet not be but we're gonna raw with the vocals today what's up guys and girls and whoever you are we're doing the damn thing again now here's a there's a few things I want to talk about before we get into this first of all I'm standing because I'm tired of y'all calling me short and I want you to see that I'm in D tall I'm taller than this [ __ ] door right here all right you got the same door in your house and my head is clearing it okay secondly everyone got very animated in the comments on the last video which I understood last video I went back and looked at it and I had a moment where I said this stuff is just a little too much maybe it's not too much but it was rough I reached out to the person who said they had a stalker and I said hey me and all good intention people who saw the video would be remiss if we make an attempt to say you should get some legal protection and you should take care of yourself so I did that and this person reached back to me and said that they were going to take the necessary steps and they are indeed okay and they appreciated everyone's concerned they also said I just watched the video I'll get that restraining order so I don't get cut up being in a documentary would be cool though and I told them you know Fame is easier when you're dead that's a fact you get hella deals when you die it's crazy alright so we got that out the way we could all rest easy knowing that our person is is more or less safe okay alright let's get into this now here's the thing I have come to realize that some of you define weird as bodily fluids that's weird to you as bodily fluids the amount of stories man with doodoo in them I didn't know doo doo was such a pervasive weapon in high school and junior high I mean I thought the last round of stories was messed up this round was just oh every damn smear doo doo here or put doo doo there I just had to cut them all out alright there's very little if any doo doo stories in this round and I don't know after after this round I might be done I said that in the last video and I might be done because I don't know if I can psychologically handle what has been going through my inbox so you know what I'm gonna give y'all round of applause because you did what I set out to be done in the second video which is the y'all have not only weirded me out y'all have tired me out you've stressed me out okay my DMS is is a is a landfill it's a haunted house of dm's is awful now just before we get into everything you know we got to take what is about to be a weird little time and sweeten it up with none other than honey now you might be thinking to yourself no well what kind of honey are you talking about and I'm talking about that sweet sweet drizzling scent of saving money with an online shopping tool honey is a free online shopping tool that automatically finds promo codes and applies them to your shopping cart this is how it works it's very straightforward you're shopping online and when you go to checkout okay made from one of your favorite websites like Best Buy com target you name it there's a whole bunch of stores that honey works with the upper right hand corner of your browser is a little H and you click on it and it puts a little drop down and there's a button that says apply promo codes and from there it'll automatically start searching and trying which one is gonna be the best one and save you the most money now me personally I've used honey a lot when shopping for clothes I've saved at least a couple hundred bucks last year using honey on just different clothing websites so I mean that part is very cool obviously it feels very good to save money cuz you have more money to spend so as soon as I saved that money I went right back and I bought more clothes honeys dealt man it works on over 30,000 stores and they have over a hundred thousand five-star reviews so you know they're doing something right it's free to use just two clicks to install okay you're literally giving money away by not at least giving you the chance so you can do that by using my link join honey calm / no well download it install it to your Chrome browser and it's totally free 100% free stop playing around start saving some money alright strap in let's get into this nastiness no well it's your biggest fan Collins of derping fame mom hello this ain't weird this is cool Colin's mom really saluted my diems that's crazy I'm not gonna read the rest of this because it's quite personal but Colin's mom reached out so how's that for fun how's that for a positive note me and Collins family we clicked up we're good so you know you can watch that interview you can watch that during music video in peace we're DM it's weird she put exclamation marks on it so you know it's weird one day at lunch in high school my friends and I were looking at old pictures on our phones and my friend Braden this is I already know this is the suburbs my friend Braden glances at Hannah's phone and says who is that bald man and everyone at the table started laughing super hard I really awkward because that picture was actually of Hannah's late mother who was bald in the photo because of her cancer treatments don't do it don't do I know you want to laugh don't do it if I have Noah put a bald man on screen right now you better not laugh hey Bros is Walter White what scene is this that's my mom oh go around the table bro come on this your mom this ain't your mama bro I ain't just Walter White there's got to be Walter white man come on look at that look at that look at cuz Walter White bro that's that's that's season 2 episode 3 right there once we looked into a lot of my teachers history and we found out that one of our teachers is a war criminal what a they found Kony rode these kids found Kony that's crazy a sub had a husband that killed himself after the FBI found a no we just no no I don't we don't we don't need that we don't need that my first time doing the dance with no pants consisted of me the dance with no pants just being adult man the first time I did it it I said be an adult and I still don't say the word be an adult man tell us about the time you had you know I'm saying okay so this is for weird DMS all right just so we're clear everybody this is for weird DMS there's a set of twins that went to my elementary school and they were both creepy as [ __ ] they rug I thought I cut these out I really thought I cut these out I'm not I am I'm gonna read it they rubbed doodoo on the walls of the bathroom went in the stall together huh boy took a whiz in the sinks I'm trying to really keep this monetized I'm really trying you guys are making it very hard for me anyway one day second grade my friend and I were playing with LEGOs and one of the twins said she wanted to show us something and led us to the corner of the room all right I I'm not you know what no we just do a funny cut around that because I'm not finishing this one that's that's foul that was horrible what the hell you just told me no one should to go through that and I hope you're okay the guy I matched with on bumble just told me he is sexually attracted to inflatable objects I think it's gonna be my ear no he's not no he's not and if he is prove it all right I want you to send us a video of him banging a bounce house best eality nope didn't do check out my bestiality story now now we're not we're not hey bud right here right here nice and close we're not we're not doing that I don't even know what kind of animal was involved but you know you've been getting flashbacks just in a Petsmart he see a rabbit he's go sir can I help you with anything uh-huh the room is getting big I started a rumor that this kid I hate his parents were cousins and everyone still believed that mean was so funny because that that's like a that's like a thing that's like small and like needles someone for years yeah one time I was on my way to school and I saw my crush riding by we were both on a bike and I knew she'd be taking a different route than me since I see her a lot I decided to go the same route to start a conversation I caught up with her and we talked halfway through I lost control and bumped into her and she fell onto a parked car broke the glass hit her head and got a concussion she said to me since probably cuz she doesn't know who you are you got so eager to get in there that you you deleted yourself from her memory she woke up in that hospital she was like oh god how did I get here Toby your classmate he ran into you on his bike and he sent you into a parked car you actually broke through the glass you got a concussion Toby's here with flowers Toby who and they came out to you in the waiting area they were like yeah she says she don't know who you are bro you just stand there with them flowers like oh yeah it's cool nice alright yeah no I mean I must have had the wrong Marissa alright yeah I'll be out I get out of here I'm sorry after my grandpa's funeral my family gathered at my grandma's house to console her damn they hit that [ __ ] with a xbox I'm sorry I'm sorry my mom asked me to put his urn he was cremated put the urn on the mantel and in the middle of doing so I dropped it in front of everyone of course it shattered and ashes went all over the carpet if it wasn't already bad enough with my grandma shrieking her dogs ran over and started licking of the edge oh it's okay though I didn't like him that much anyway he was just standing there watching the dogs like kill it put it down to Co eat that [ __ ] I just saw her video I wanted to give you one of my stories ok cool dude my mom used to be in and out of the house a lot and I had the place to myself often when I was a kid she was on her hot girl summer said I would do normal [ __ ] like watch TV too loud and play games but one day I went into her bedroom bro we know this story you went in there and you found her magic wand and you tried to brush your teeth with it and you were like why does it feel weird on my mouth and your mom came home with her new boyfriend and she was like ah and then say you do your dad's house and you were not allowed there for a while one time a bunch of us guys hanging out in high school and one dude went to the bathroom was taking forever so someone else who had to piss peed in his 1/3 full can of monster in hopes of trying to get him to actually take a sip this is such a white dude story yo pissing his monster C vsips that [ __ ] so it's basically a full can of monster but mostly piss I think we got that part I think we get it there's pee in the can we understand the kid came back and immediately smelled the piss and refused but didn't dump it out about a half hour later one of our friends came in and said oh [ __ ] is that that new monster flavor dude takes a massive swing before we could say anything he dead asses [ __ ] that tastes like piss probably just warm [Music] he then puts the drink in the fridge weren't oh so we don't say anything he comes back to it an hour later and [ __ ] yell some [ __ ] man y'all some [ __ ] no well I've got a confession I lost my virginity to my best friend's sister you a dick you a dick messed up bro one time in college library I said okay no this imma be honest I just glanced through this one I just saw a wheelchair I don't even want to do it I'm out next I literally just saw your weird DMS and it sparked a memory in primary school oh [ __ ] primary school so they gotta be where do they say primary school Europe maybe Australia I don't um do this one English in primary school I fit there's a lot first grade but kids who are long distance peers basically they stand thumb far away from the urinals and pissing to them abroad do this [ __ ] all the time I do this in the club I go to the clubs they and eight feet away from the urinal what up man you'll be careful you might want to walk around my backside I'm trying to go for a record today look at my jumper look at my three-point jump back look at that raining on them buckets buckets one day I went to the bathroom it's rough the one who's people long distance P and said Oh what were you doing gaining his attention he turned mid Pierce and said what he was still pissing he pissed all over me damn that's cold you interrupted his [ __ ] he was like huh I didn't think so you got pee in your mouth next time mind your business bro stupid stupid oh wait yeah hey this right here this one's the money I've seen this one and I saved it for this very reason I've never told my best friend to this day but when we were younger I made an account in blackmailed her and sent hateful messages she came to me crying and I comforted and supported her then I kept doing it first of all you're sick flat-out you're sick second of all I never would have guessed that you were capable of something like this based on all previous messages in this thread that I took a gander through 15 16 17 look at that look at see I should you crazy lady you crazy get help call your dad one time I was on vacation to visit my grandparents and all of my cousins were there too I was sleeping in the same bunk bed as one of my male cousins oh please no please not one of these [ __ ] maintaining in and my cousin married my [ __ ] my brother and then wheel I was listening to music and I fell asleep and then woke up at like 2:00 a.m. and started to feel the bed shake I was like hey maybe it's just moving around but I heard him grunting wow the bed violently shook it stopped him for a second and then going again he was also snapping his girl oh yeah so he was he was just he was just going down there just way go in the room I just like help [ __ ] okay oh [ __ ] okay okay all right relax earthquakes in Iowa this is fine and you're weird dm's you talked about the person finding a boy jacking we found Epstein's burner guys we found it it's right here he's still alive tweeting from the burner I don't care what repressed memory you had this video is me cutting you off that's what this is now this is me having a little bit of sense all right I'm not just letting you guys come in here [ __ ] us up with these intrusive thoughts okay I'm cutting it off all right flag on the play 15-yard penalty go back first down think about yourself this is a good one you want to talk about a cousin story oh my god full disclosure I know this story because I remember reading it and laughing my ass off but just peep this first line hey so I don't know if this is legal or not okay I don't know this is legal or not but one time I was on tinder and I got a match with this one dude and he asked if I wanted to come over so I did and we ended up having sex over the next three months and I finally decided to have dinner with him and my parents to introduce him after dinner he left and my parents told me he was my cousin think about her dad that fool walks in and he's like oh okay okay all right [ __ ] I took the improv class I can do this I could do this hi did he knows his name already hi Toby [ __ ] I didn't your name is Toby right I think she mentioned yeah yes she mentioned it one time how's your dad doing she like closed the doors she's like isn't he great he's your cousin do you mean that in like I figured no that's your cousin Lynn finish this after dinner he left my parents told me he was my cousin but my uncle and dad had a falling out and I never knew he existed but I continued to sleep and I don't think it's gonna get weird [Music] ain't no way it's gonna get weirder than that that was actually that's that's the weirdest one that's the weirdest one so here's where I'm at with this series man all the stories they just fall into now just a couple categories is incest its cousins stuff doodoo stuff and I guess virginity stuff and and that's it that's all that's all the weirdness we've had so far so yeah let me know if you if you want to keep this going um but um I'm gonna think on it I'm gonna think on it i'ma think on if I do the next one you know it's just I want to see a little bit of variety but I will say this these messages give me an idea and no it's nothing to do with smearing doodoo on the walls they give me an idea and and I'm not gonna tell you what it is you'll just have to wait and see okay what I'm selling my doo doo paintings on Etsy all right you guys talk to me in the comments and I'll see you all in the next one peace [Music] [Music]

Channel: Noel Miller

Views: 2,838,342

Rating: 4.9748578 out of 5

Keywords: noel miller, tiny meat gang, cody ko, tmg, love island, steamy tweets, suki, fortnite, games, cody and noel, uncle noel, thats cringe, thenoelmiller, noelle miller, comedy, satire, vine, rap, sketch comedy, roast, stand up

Id: kIFv8R6jFG8

Length: 17min 49sec (1069 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 22 2020