♪ When I was born I didn't cry I said ♪ ♪ Merch in the store ♪ ♪ My ex's wedding vows
were touching, mine were ♪ ♪ Merch in the store ♪ ♪ When I'm dying with
my children by my side ♪ ♪ Goodbye ♪ ♪ I'll tell them that
there's merch in the store ♪ - Ah, there we to go, what you-- (laughter)
- Oh my god. And you chose that word by
adding a wildcard letter? - You couldn't do, you couldn't do chore? (energetic electronic music) Hello everyone and welcome to Smosh Games, or what I like to call,
theater nerds play video games. (crickets chirps) So today we're going to play Scrabble, but we're gonna play a
different version of Scrabble called Happy Words, because
Scrabble isn't on Switch. If you would like to introduce
yourselves, go ahead. - Hello, nice to meet you,
my name is Large Texas. I'm the most powerful billionaire oil man if ever there was one. I was born into money and then tripped and found a bunch of oil,
and I got a bunch of money from that as well too. And I have been training. - Oh my god (laughs)! When I said Texas man, I did
not expect an anime version, but why would I--
- I know. I know exactly what you want. I know you wanted something like this, (imitating gun shots)
I've got a bunch of money, but that's offensive
to the people of Texas. - All right, and then, I
love your eyeshadow there, who, who are you? - Thank you so much, I'm Farbra Robrin, I'm a self-made gagillionaire. You may know me from my
show, Shark Tank but Just Me. It's where I make anything I want 'cause I have all the money I can. - And this pensive,
open shirted man, hello. - Hello there, name is Captain Francisco. (Sarah laughing) I pilot an, I captain an orgy boat that is currently in the
midst of the Pacific. I am here in my captain's quarters, relaxing, having a good time, don't you worry about it. - Oh, is that a beer? You're just gonna be drinking this beer? - I always drink when I'm driving. It's the key to my focus. Driving a boat, it's a different thing, I'm not on the highway, I am simply on the highway of the ocean. Only, you know, marlin
and mahi-mahi in my way. - I love that your boat
has vertical blinds. - That is correct, that's how you do it. You see how steady these are? You see how steady these are? That's because my boating is so good that you can't even tell
you're on the ocean. - Okay great, well I already
love all of your guys' characters, I have opened up a room, Large Texas it's you first. - Oh that sucks because I have truly the worst batch to start with. (Sarah laughing)
Ever. But that's okay, every day's agony anyway. - (burps) Oh, that was
a motorboat right there. - What? - I once motor boated a
monster til he died (laughs). It was an epic battle. On second thought, it
might have been a person. - I have a couple of questions, Farbra, how did you become a gagillionaire? - So, I'm sure you've heard
about targeted ads right? I came up with it. I'm the one. I did it myself.
- Boom baby! There we go!
(laughs) - Oh, it's time to bust out the sex ax. (laughs) - Every captain has to have
one of those on their boat. Every single person. If something goes wrong during sex, you have to kill the other person. - It's true, if you're
making sweet love to a lady or gentleman and they become
a giant tentacle monster, you gotta have something to stop it. - I like that idea,
giant tentacle monster, do you think we can make
something out of that? - I think you and I should pair
up with our infinite money. (laughs)
(Sarah laughing) - I'm in.
- Dude we're collabing? - I'm amped up.
- I don't have any money, I simply have an incredibly
impressive penis. - I'm impressed by all wieners, 'cause I've never seen
my own, due to my gut. - You know captain, I like your energy, I'd love to take care
(chuckles) of my husband and, you know, make room. - Oh. - If you want him to join my crew, he can sail across the
Pacific and have tons of sex with me or whoever he wants and, you know, just have a good time and
catch some grouper maybe. - No, he's fine if he goes into the ocean, as long as he's at the bottom of it. - Oh, like James Cameron! - I did a double word all at once! That's something you do
only if you're from Texas. That's why they call me Large Texas. Top of the morning to you laddie! - Impressive, impressive. Did your hat go higher? - Oh (beep)! Sex captain! You doing it! - I have spent, I have, well Large Texas has over twice as many points as me, so I am not doing so good. - I am Large Texas, I do it
big or I go home to my house. That's what they say in Texas. Everything is larger
here if you take a look and just give it a shot! - Nailed it. - I got such little sleep this week, I can't believe I made
it to Friday (laughs). - Probably 'cause you're
gaming til five in the morning. - That was a secret! - Sarah to answer your question
from earlier, you know, I-- (muffled audio)
(seagulls cawing) I was all on board until
I got targeted myself. I targeted myself, it
was like holding a gun up to my reflection. I've never been more
turned on, but afraid. (laughs) And that's when I knew
that I had to sell it. I had to make a billion dollars. I'm sorry, a gagillion dollars. - Gagillion. And what do you, what have you done with your gagillion
dollars, I'm interested. - A lot of plastic. Pitch me something and
you'll see if I'm in or not. - I will pitch you a baseball at speeds the likes of which you've never seen. Are you into that? - I'm in, you have one million
dollars from me, right now. - (laughs) A drop in the
bucket for Large Texas. - I don't like how your English is. - I learned, I learned English last week. - [Shayne] Nope. - I have oh-e, oh-e. I have no letters. - Thank you for showing me your strategy, it will be a grave mistake. - It won't help you. I don't think, if you just
learned English last week, I don't think it'll help you. - I have a blank one,
what do I do to that? - It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a-- - It's a, it's a, it's a-- - It can be any letter I think. - I don't know that I believe you. - It's a free space letter. - Apparently, what I just put, is real. Nee. - There's got to be a
button to call that out as B (beep). - Oh there we go! (all laughing)
- [Damien] Oh my god. And you chose that word by
adding a wild card letter? - You couldn't do, you couldn't do chore? - No I cannot do chore. - You see it seems like the captain isn't familiar with doing chores, but he is familiar with other things. - The most essential part
of any crew, is the whores. You have to have, most of
your crew has to be whores. You cannot do it without that. I myself am one, I am not disparaging-- - [Sarah] Oh, uh-huh.
- I am also one. If anyone on my ship
gives me five dollars, I will do anything. Absolutely anything. - Anything sexual, or anything in general? - Anything in general but
mostly, it's usually sexual. Why would you want to do anything else? (laughs) - Poop, that was the spot
I was so excited to use. - I know, me too! Damn it.
- Sorry. - There we go, that's a
word for you sex captain. - Oh look at that! Both versions! Both versions, it's incredible. One gets paid, one doesn't. (all laughing) - Shayne! - I am not Shayne, stop
putting this on me. - Francisco! We're gonna have to blur
out the whole board. - I managed to get sex, whores, nope. Oh it's my turn, what better, multiple! (all laughing) - You son of a. - Sorry I had to make
myself another drink, right after my previous one. - Amazing. - Oh that is good. - That looks like good water. - [Shayne] That is purely good. - Boom!
- Wow. - Wow. - Coming from behind!
- Hey, having a good time! - Oh, did you have that ready to go or is that just pure vodka? - Oh I made that right
now, it is pure vodka. (laughs) Pure vodka that I found in a
bottle on a deserted island. So you know it's good. A skeleton's hand wrapped right around it. - [Damien] Man.
- Oh my god, sex captain. - Oh it's so good! (laughs) It's so good. - Sex captain Francisco,
what are your tricks to capturing the heart of a woman? - Oh, well the key is
to have sex with her. - No, there's stuff before that. - What's I'm saying is one time I landed on this island, right? And all the people there,
they walk up to me, and they just look at
me and they go, "Sex?" And I go, sex. And you know exactly what happened for the next eight months. - There was a girl I once loved, her name was Kamiko Tan. She was an angel, or a
demon, I'm not sure which. - What the (beep)! - She had special powers. She was half robot, half
demon, half angel, all action, and she fired rockets out of her fists to kill a giant monster. I still remember her. - What network does your life air on? - LOGO. (all laughing) - I'm sorry to hear that. - So no one's seen your show? - Yeah, no one's seen your show? - Huge thank you to the person that completely dominated
the top of the board with a Y, and then somebody
fixed it with a (beep) J. (all laughing) Juice is the nickname of my
favorite football player. Brett Favre. (laughs) - I have no words. - Use your heart then. - (beep). - Have you thought about adding to word that's already on the board? - I have of course thought about adding to a word that's
already on the board, I have done that before,
I did that with whores. - You have (laughs). - I did that with whores,
you saw me do that. - Do you have an S or a D? - I do, I have a D. Wined, hey! - Wow, with one second left on the board. - Oh I should have done juiced. I am too late. - Why would you tell them that? - I literally said that at the beginning. I literally said that the
beginning of the turn. - What? - You're not very good
at listening Francisco! Woman like listeners. Men like listeners. Everyone likes listeners. - Not necessarily. My husband and I were deaf for four years. - How did you get your hearing back? - Bought it. (laughs) I bought it, I bought it. - Listen, I do not need
to hear any crap, okay? - Another one?
- Listen. - Another one. - It's been 20 minutes. - I know, it's not enough time. - Another character choice I made is I really like DJ Khalid. How does everyone feel about DJ Khalid? - I don't like him. - Oh that's a shame. Have you heard his good
song and then another one? - Oh that was so good. - I find DJ Khalid just so deserving of his celebrity-hood, don't you? - I like how he claims
to have the best music. - One time I was out on my boat, way out in the middle of the ocean, and we found him on a wave
runner, stranded, by himself. So we took him aboard,
and we all just (laughs). - Yes? - Oh you can figure out what happened. - Okay! All right! - Did you have sex with him? - No, of course I didn't have sex with DJ, I mean it's DJ Khalid, that's gross. (all laughing) - What! Atone.
- Wow. - I'm coming up, I'm
coming up Large Texas. Coming for you.
- Okay. Puppy you didn't speak to me all morning and then you're just really chatty the last 20 minutes. - You know, my kids used to talk to me. (sighs) - How many kids do you have? - Who knows at this point? I just pop them out and I let them go. - I don't like it, I don't want it. - Stem is the most powerful
word of all of them. - We need more women in STEM. Did I say that right?
- Yup, you did (laughs). - Good.
- Good job Farbra. - Hey, sex captain, if you've
been doing this so long, how come you haven't been
promoted to sex admiral? - I want you to take your penis, I want you to tuck it
around, in between your legs and I want you to (beep) yourself. (laughs) - If you'll recall, I've never seen mine 'cause of my gut,
therefore I don't know how I'd even go about grabbing it. - Oh my god. Damn it!
- Dorm! I wish they allowed multiple words. I wanted to put an S
between nice and pine, so someone's telling you nice spine. (laughs)
- Nice spine bro. - It would be a welcome thing to hear after a scoliosis diagnosis. - I legitimately only have F's and G's. - I have three I's and
one Z, just like an alien. (drum sting) Farbra missed her alarm this morning and can't seem to sleep more
than four hours every night. - Oh no! You should try working
out, it really helps me. - Wow, very rude. (laughs) - Have you tried just,
you know, not being sad? - Oh!
- You guys are so mean! I was being honest!
(all laughing) I was giving real advice! - Have you done, just
walk outside, feel better. - I did not!
- Oh man. - Don't be sad. - Not what I was saying (laughs). - I want to write velt
(beep), but I'm out of space. Man, that's too bad, that word sucks. I wanted a better one
but I ran out of space 'cause of sis. - Hey, vag!
- Are you serious? - How does that, there's,
but then A-R is a word too? - I guess so. - I don't know about that one captain. - My strategy right now is dragging one of my three I's around
the board and pressing confirm over and over, we did it! We got one, we did it! - Yeah dice, plural of dice. Die. - But I thought it was D-I-E. - There's an E.
- It is? Oh. - I have an idea though. It's kind of crazy,
but it just might work. Oh this is, I have two gambles. I could put an N here
and maybe that'll work, or I could make these... I'm gonna try this. Why not? Why not go big before I
go, no, no, no, no, no, no! - Oh my god! You just passed. - Yeah I sure did, didn't I? It's not like you're winning
by a long shot or anything. - All you need to do Sarah
is land a triple word score with one of your many X
letters that you have there and I'm in trouble. - Yeah, I do not have that. - For someone who learned
English last week, you've got a strong grip on this game. - Thank you. Previously I only spoke
French sign language. And a little bit of Afrikaans. - Can you show me a French sign? - That means go (beep) yourself. (laughs) - Sex captain you've
been stuck on one second for the last ten seconds. - I know. God has reached in and
he's given me a chance. - I didn't know you were
a religious man, captain. - When it suits me. Great, I have all the time in the world, now I can just chill
and do whatever I want. - Yeah what the heck! - Boom, hey! There we go (laughs). That was the dumbest thing
that's ever happened. - How is vagi a word? - No, no, no, that is
about the story of Jesus. He was visited by the three vagi. - Yeah the gift of the vagi. (laughing) - Get out of here, all of you. No, no, no, no, no, no! - Is that where you were gonna go? - Yes!
- Ha ha. - Large Texas what's your
strategy, where you going? - Oh really? - Yes. - Hey sex captain?
- What up? - Do you start as sex private? - Damien I gotta be really honest man, I don't, I don't know
what to do right now. I don't know (laughs). Sorry I'm very drunk
and, no I'm just kidding. That was water, I was drinking water, and that's not a beer,
that's not alcoholic. I'm saying so that it's on
camera that I'm saying that so it's not just, looks like I just downed two martinis and a beer. - Someone sounds awfully defensive. (all laughing) - I have to pass.
- Oh no! - What! You passed just like my kidney stone. Firing out at a velocity at
which it killed a monster. - And some-- - That's how we do it in Large Texas. - Releasing a kidney
stone in pistol fashion? (imitates gun fire) - What makes it even more impressive is, due to the fact that
I can't see my wiener, it was, the aim was incredible. - You blank gamed, wow. - But U is only one, one point. I don't think I agree with that, it's a difficult vowel. - Sarah hurry, you've
already had four seconds. - I don't know what is a word or not. - Well that's gonna make this
game very difficult for you. - Is K-I a word, you think? - I mean it is, but I'm
not gonna tell you that. - Yes, it is! Yes! Game over.
- Game over. (fireworks)
- Oh thank goodness. - Large Texas wins yet another battle by firing a kidney stone
out of his invisible wiener at all of his friends. This is the best character I've ever made. - Yeah I'm not on the score, I don't see myself on the scoreboard here. - 'Cause you got last place. - [Damien] You got worst place. - Thank you mother (beep)
for watching this video and if you enjoyed this,
which let's be honest, you probably didn't, but if you did? There's so much more, there's
so much more you can watch. You can watch a video, that
it plays on your screen. You don't even have to do anything, once you press it, it just goes. You don't even have to talk
to a person who's on screen. We also have a merch store. Oh, we just have clothes
that covers your body. It fully covers your body,
which is what clothes, I think, are intended to do. And then, you know, you can
subscribe if you want to. - [Sarah] They should subscribe. - You should subscribe. - [Sarah] It's great.
- In fact you should. If you don't, I'm just saying, I'm not, I'm not making a threat, I'm just saying if you don't... - Large Texas might have a kidney stone something to say about it.
