- I would like to order Postmates, would anybody like anything? - Can you get me some more wine? (laughs) - Ew, stop. Did you spill? - I almost spilled my strategy. - Stop! (light music) - Hey guys, we are playing another game from home in quarantine. And we actually had a really fun idea. So Uno has been going around a lot, so we decided we wanna
play Uno with each other, but not just regular. Different kinda Uno. So what we did was we
sent a package to each of these fine people here
with a costume in it, and told them they have
to make a character based on the costume in the box. And I introduce to you
my Uno playmates today. Introducing first, Damien. Who's your character? - I was sent this greasy wig,
sir, thank you very much. And I thought it was perfect to pull back into a beautiful, long, luxurious ponytail for my character, and your
favorite one, too, Augustus. Lover of mayonnaise,
five-star Yelp reviewer, which is ironic because I've never given anything five stars. - Awe, well I'm glad you
made use of the greasy wig and the used mayonnaise
we sent in the mail. So I'm glad you made use of both of those. - I mean, it came from your brother, so it technically is from you. - Hi sweetheart, this
is your Aunt Carolyn. Hi! Oh, I'm so excited to
play some games with you. - Lame, Carolyn. - Oh no. Hey Carolyn, it's noon, Aunt Carolyn. - I know, but it's wine-o-clock over here. (laughs) - Okay, so I was sent a box that just had a piece of paper that said "Dumb idiot." So, I am Shayne Freakin' Topp. - Nice! - Oh yeah! - I love it. So we got Augustus, Shayne
Freakin' Topp, and my aunt. - It's Augustus, sir. - Augustus. What did I say? - You said Augustus. - Oh, sorry. My apologies. Say it one more time for me? Sorry. - Augustus! - You all look so cute. ♪ Thank you very much. ♪ - So we're gonna be playing
a private online game of Uno. We're playing Uno Classic, but
we're gonna use some of the wacky rules, I think,
seven and zero, stacking, things like that. Are you guys ready to play? - Mm hmm. - You wanna play some Uno? - Is mayonnaise healthy? Yes. - Do I touch, oh , this
isn't a touch screen. - No it's not a touch screen no aunt no. It's on the Switch, y'know
the Switch we sent you. - Oh, oh your Game Boy? - Yes, it's in the Game Boy. - I got it right here. - I prefer RPG's, but I will make do. (cards fluttering) - Oh I have my cards. - Okay, this is probably
a good time to tell ya, I don't know, okay, so, this is okay, so you just play
a card, you play like, - His turn ran out, go faster. - (laughing) - It's gotta be the same
color or same number. - Yes. For those of you who
are born under a rock, you have to match the
color or match the number, and you gotta try to get rid
of as many cards as you can. - You dumb bitch. - Why'd you give me four
extra cards to start off? That's a late game move. Dickweasel. - Oh my goodness. - Okay, look, timing is not
gonna be an issue for me, coz I've got the pro controller, so, you're gonna have to get to... I don't blame you for making (mumbles) - Wow Courtney, Courtney already sss... She's doing some nasty
moves early in the game. - Who's doing nasty moves? - Shane Freakin' Topp over
there bein' a freakin' jerk. - Haaaay. - You're gonna have to
pull some more cards, I'm so sorry. - [Shane] Me? - No, whose turn is it? - Carolyn. - I was pressing the wrong button. - Oh Shane Freakin' Topp draw and four. - [Shane] No. - Why is everybody in
the room dumb as hell? - Ooh colors. - (laughing) - Okay, oh I get so many
cards, that's so nice. (laughing) - Okay. - Oh wow, I think I.. Do I win if I have the most? - [Shane] Absolutely not. - This is simulating playing
a card game with my actual family, and I hate it. - Actual bull(beep), I've
actually gotta draw more cards. Tell you what, this what I'm
gonna do Matthew Roberts, - What's up? - I'm sure you love all
those red cards you have, so there ya go. Take all of them. - Dick move. - Also, what is at stake? Speaking of steak, I would like
one fried in butter please. - Yeah, sure, one steak is at stake. You get a steak if you win this game. - Well, wait, like actually though? - Sure. - Okay. - Oh my gosh, that's so nice. - I would like it prepared in
the traditional Arby's style. Sir. - Oh, which is? - Shave it, put it on
bread, take off the meat, take off the bread, squirt
Arby's sauce into my mouth, let me shake it 'round a lil' bit. - It's horsey sauce. Shane Freakin' Topp has got
some kind of an issue with me. You've now swapped hands with me twice. - I really like your cards. - Oh thanks. - You're welcome. - Oh I just keep stackin' it. Ah don't let if fall over, Jenga. - That's a different game. Aunt Debbie. - It's Carolyn. - Aunt Carolyn. (laughing) - Don't you know your own aunt. - You look, y'know, you're
twins with aunt Debbie, so I figured, I get
you two confused a lot. - Your mom says that
your done bed wetting. - [Shane] Dang it. - I'm not in contact with mother
so how would she even know? - I'm getting destroyed. No. - Wow. There ya go, that's better. (laughing) - Now what we don't realize
is, aunt Carolyn has her Airpods in and she's just
listening to Eat, Pray, Love. She actually isn't listening
to what we have goin' on. - The audiobook. - What? - Yeah, no, nothin' aunt Carolyn, nothing. - Oh she just ate, she just ate. - Okay, oh you're head... - Let me know when she prays. - Yeah you're a third in to the book. - Oh. - You son of a bitch. - Pretty good. - Zero. - (cards fluttering) - Oh God damn it. - Matt, you and I are doing real good. - Yeah we're doing great. - No it was my two
cards that you have sir. - Uno. - Oh God. - Oh, what does that mean? - You yell out "Uno". - Why would you reverse it Carolyn? Because now he gets to
do his God damn turn. - But no he's no longer at Uno, oh. - There we go. Uh oh, you better be careful,
you're gonna keep losing. - No, he's winning. (laughing) - Oh no, that's a lot
of cards, that's a lot. - This is why uncle Carlos left. - No, no. Sensitive subject Augustus. - I'll play that one. - So dumb. - There ya go. - There we go. I'm doing so good. - I'm doing pretty good,
I'm not going to lie. - Right, I'm gonna trust
you to not screw this up as I send it back to you please. - Augustus. - That was very rude. - We're all trying to beat Matt. - What? In what world? - Oh no (laughing) - Finally. - I trusted you for a good reason. Oh God damn it. (laughing) - Okay, that's what you wanna do. - This has got more switches
than Switched at Birth on ABC Family. (laughing) - No one watched that. But Vanessa Marano is a national treasure. - Uno. - No. - Make it green dude. (laughing) - Oh my goodness. - Oh God damn it. - Hey hell yes, this works for me. - I said make it green aunt Carolyn. (laughing) - Why the (beep) would you do that? - Thank you aunt Carolyn for
the win, I appreciate it. - Oh I need my strength. Mmmm. All right everyone, I've
just had some mayonnaise, I've calmed down, I'm sorry
for half of the things I said back there. (laughing) - Only half? - Yes, you know which ones. - Oh boy. - Oh there you go. I'll give you two. - Oh. - No. - Aunt Carolyn's a sleeper. This is like "The Color
of Money" with Uno. - Yeah Carolyn's a sleeper coz she keeps drinking while taking Vicodin. (laughing) - That's right. - Oh red, I'm very happy about this. - I think you've had too many
Flintstone's vitamins today. - You know what, I eat
them for the flavor madam. How'd I get so many cards. Started the round while I
was eatin' my mayonnaise, God damn it. (laughing) - Sorry if I'm a little loopy, I was playing a drinking game before this. I was watching "Desperate
Housewives", and you drink every time you see a wife. (laughing) - Okay, first of all,
as far as Mark Cherry produced shows go, "Desperate
Housewives", not up there. We're talking "Scream
Queens" and nothing else. Eva Longoria can suck my butt, and has (laughing) - Has? And has? - A gentleman doesn't
talk out of turn sir. - Okay that's fair. ♪ Ah yeah, that's what I'm
freaking talking about. ♪ - I've got so many cards you
guys are absolutely goin' down. - Why would someone put blue again? - God damn it. - My fourth husband
would never suck my butt, and I just don't understand why... Oh there we go. - You're not eating enough mayonnaise, it really freshens things up down there. - If you lose again, you have to eat a whole
spoonful of mayonnaise. - Look, every bite brings
me closer to death, the doctors say, and that just
means I don't have to play with you guys any more, so... Five eh? (laughing) How you like them fives? - Why would you do that Damian, you're making life so difficult? - Damian's dead now, Augustus is the only thing that matters. I need to cut the mayonnaise with Tums. - [Matt] Oh no. - Augustus, what is the restaurant
that triggers you the most? - Oh don't even get me
started on the Macaroni Grill. They refuse to put noodles
on an actual grill. - My second husband used
to say the same thing. Who I did not kill. - Are you sure? - Yeah, he would take his baths face down. - How many husbands do you have? - Oh, I don't know. - (laughing) - Aunt Carolyn, are you
using this quarantine time to talk to your kids more, or
are they still not responding? - Oh, I talk to about seven of 'em. - I've just been switching
with Damian's cards like, over and over again. - Yeah well Matt Raub caught
some (beep) bull(beep) in the corner there. - I got nothin' goin' on over here. - With his hoard of zeros and sevens. - I have 12 cards. Carolyn what are you doin' ? - Carolyn you gotta pick one. - What? - Don't screw this up, this
isn't a marriage aunt Carolyn. - Shane Freakin' Topp. - Oh I don't know what I'm doing. - Nah you're doin' great aunt Carolyn. - You should have learned the game Mom, I mean, oh. - Whoa. - [Shane] That was lame. - That's the kinda drama you would find on a Mark Cherry show. Elaborate. (laughing) - Yeah Shane, go on. - Shane you and your massive
penis need to start... (laughing) - Holy (beep) (sniffling) - I'm glad we could finally
address it, on camera, it's been problematic behind the scenes. - Why you gotta zero me out? - Shane, you and your
incredible personality and just massive dong... (laughing) - Bro. - Gross. - Let's play the game all right? Uh oh, I'm very close to winning. - Choose one Shane. - Oh, I can't, it does not let me. - Choose one Shane
Freakin' Topp, choose one. - It was me Shane, not... - Why would you pick the blue? - That was my bad. (laughing) - You guys aren't focused enough on the one thing that matters. - Guys, guys. - Uno. - We're having family Uno time on purpose. We can't, no you gave it to Augustus. - Hey. - What'd you do? - It's fine. - Oh. - I draw bull (beep)
amount of cards anyway. - Naughty boy, naughty boy. - See this is one of those
games that'll never stop, this is how it is. - Yeah if someone had
changed to the proper color, it would've already been done, I'd be home, in a bath of mayonnaise, praying for death. But no. - Do you eat the mayonnaise
after you bathe in it? - Is that a rhetorical question? - Argh. Are you kidding me? - I have been told I have a certain odor. Are you God damn kidding me? (laughing) - Oh do you like my cards? - So funny, such a good
joke everything's fun. - I had more cards than
I had UTI's last month. - My goodness. (laughing) - It was a close race. - Aunt Carolyn, you
really need to pee more. You should stop holding it. - No. - Okay. - Good improv Carolyn. - There we go. - Uh oh, no no no no. No. No. No. No. - Uh oh Uno. - No, no, you have too many cards. - I like playing games with my family. - Shut up. - Shane you're such a
sweetheart, you're so.. - Yeah. Shane you're great. - Yeah. - You and your massive penis. (laughing) - Stop. Hey, stop zeroing me. - For all the (laughing) for all the back problems
it gives you, it's still, it keeps your personality so fresh. - Oh yes. I use it as a... - Have you thought
about reduction surgery? They use me as a model for that. - Oh my god. - What they do is they fold it over, and then they just kinda
staple it together. It's worth it. - They call it the calzone. (laughing) - Speaking of calzones, I would like to order Postmates. Would anybody like anything? - Can you get me some more wine? - (laughing) - Gross. (laughing) Did you spill? - I almost spilled my strategy. - Stop. - Oh I'm getting close. That's what I never told my third husband. - [Matt] Mmmmm. - Because you shot him from so far away? (laughing) - That's not true. - Guys I'm so sorry, but... - No. - That's two in a row baby. (clapping) - You won twice. - Hey Matt, I like your
character of an (beep) hole. I'm very proud of you Matt. - Thank you aunt Carolyn. - You're welcome. - Hey let's go for three, let's do three. I'm gonna mix it up, we're
gonna change the theme a bit, coz I feel like we've
seen this theme too much. - Hypertension mode engage. - [Shane] What the heck? - Lick it up like a lil' pony. And then we're good to go baby. - Hi, we're gonna do one more game. Coz I keep beating these guys, so I'm gonna give 'em
the advantage of playing the Rabbids deck, which I feel like could
give 'em a better advantage, there's a lot of weird,
wacky themed cards in there. So, you guys ready? No stop eating mayonnaise. - Born ready. - Here's the thing, Augustus or Damian, in character or not in character, never eat mayonnaise out of the jar again. - How 'bout salt? - [Matt] That's fine. - Whoa, there's pictures on the cards. Can I just say one thing Matt? - Yeah go ahead. - I'm coming for you. And you know what I also say? - What's that? - It's burger time,
doosh, doosh, doosh, yeah. - You know what? Classic Shane catch phrase. God I love that catch phrase. - Shane Freakin' Topp, I
respect the hell out of you. - Dear Ubisoft, stop trying
to make Rabbids a thing, sincerely everyone. (laughing) - Are these like those... Are they like the "Minions"? - They're Minions but
they've got Kool-Aid mouth, like they just had a bunch
of Kool-Aid on their lips and they didn't wipe their mouth. - Like real rabbits. Have you ever seen a rabbits lips? - Yeah. - Yes. While devouring them. I once tricked a rabbit
into kissing me, and then, when we locked lips I went (inhales) and then got it right in the television. (laughing) - [Carolyn] What the (beep)? (laughing) - [Carolyn] What the (beep) Damian? Who's that? What the (beep)? - It turned inside out on the way down, it was pretty dope. - That's good. - I told you I'm coming for you Matthew. - I see that. - Bet you've never heard that before. Coz I haven't either. Seven, what kinda bull (beep) is this? - It's in times like
this, I always remember, always remember, you're
braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and
smarter than you think and loved more than you know. And drunker than you feel. - Stop. - I might win this one
gang, I'm not gonna lie. - Oh but Carolyn's on your tail. - Just like what I said
to my first husband, who tried to run down the freeway (laughing) and here I am, coming up. - Chasing him. - Gonna get ya'. - How do you say "Uno",
like what do you do? - It'll show you, it'll
prompt you (mumbles) - Uh no. Aahh. No. (laughing) - You don't worry, you don't need to know. - That's so so unfair,
I just wanna be cool. Aahhh. - Another thing Shane says all the time. - I'm just, it's all the hypertension, from the salt that I
just ate, straight up. (laughing) - It's literally making your blood boil. - Oh boy, I'm so mad. Uh oh, no, please no. - Oh literally the one color I didn't have you son of a bitch. (laughing) - Wow, Carolyn's in the game. - Yeah she's about mid way
through her Merlot so... It only gets worse. - Oh please red, red,
red, red, red, red... Ahhh - You c... - Why would you tell me that? - Yeah why would you say it? - Just maybe hoping that he
would just (beep) do what I say, maybe once. (laughing) I just want to win. As Shane Freakin' Topp,
I've never won a game in any video ever. - This is canon, this
is Smosh Games canon. Shane Topp has never won a single video. - Mommy needs her liquid. (laughing) - Could you do me a hot solid
and never say that again? And later, after this, I'm
gonna drop a hot solid because of all the mayonnaise I ate. - Hey. - Is for horses, which I've also eaten, both hay and horses. - A hot solid. (Laughing) - Uh mayonnaise is kickin' in. Actual indigestion. - Oh weird how that happens. - It acts as glue inside your esophagus. - No because I've also had tons of salt. It's all the food groups in the pyramid. - Shane (beep) you. (laughing) - Go fish. - God damn it. - Aunt Carolyn, different game. - Oh. (laughing) - I hate you. - Aahhh. - Uno. - No. - Am I gonna hit the triple Karen. Am I gonna win the game. - No bitch, no, I refuse
to let this happen. - No, no, no, no, no...whoa, pretty good. Pretty good Augustus. - Pretty smart. - Son of a bitch. - Appreciate it. - Oh boy. Oh boy. - Now Damian knows what my last color is. - Make it red Shane, make it red. - Wow. - Why would you do that? (laughing) - Oh my goodness. You guys are really good at teamwork. This is a group of three
that I would always assume would work together well but... - I'm curious of the outcome. No please, please bro please. Yes, yes queen, yes queen. - I hate it, I hate it. - Oh you're just like the rest of us now. - Uh oh what's goin' on? - What? - What's this bunny doin'? What's this dumb-ass Rabbid doin'? - That was random by the way, I didn't do a damn thing about it. - Whoa that bunny was actually... - I went from one card to 16 cards. - You are so (beep) - Never gonna end this game. - I hate this bunny, can
he go away if I touch.. What the hell is happening? - The next person to draw a card has to draw three more cards. - Urgh. - Still fun. - Mm hm. - Such a good way to play the game. - Hey. - You know what makes things fun? Rules. - Yeah it's true. As many rules as possible. All right we don't have to
rush anymore thank goodness. - Well speak for yourself sir, some of us have to drop a wicked growler as soon as possible. - Oh no. - Hey Matt, you know what
would make you feel better? - Sup Augustus? - Watching me eat this. - Oh no don't you dare. We have a rule. - You can't fire me while
I'm in quarantine Matt. - Yes I can, don't do it, no, aww so ... - Mmmmm - It's so gross. (laughing) - Oh god damnit. - That's not power,
that's just mayonnaise. - How did we go from Damian
losing to Damian almost winning? - I don't know, I was eating
mayonnaise at the time, and I wasn't paying attention, so maybe that's a little bit of a clue. - There you go. - Oh god this (beep) (beep) this mother (beep) - Yay. - Oh. - Fun for me. - (mumbles) for me. - Ughh. - Enjoy that hand, it's a good one. - You took, Shane, my deck was so good. - I'm sorry. - I mean Carolyn or
whatever the (beep) it is. (laughing) - Don't you guys love it
when you find food trapped in your beard and it's a
little treat for later? - I don't have... I can't grow a beard. - My beard down below, sure, - [Matt] Oh. (laughing) - Carolyn have you ever been arrested? - Oh. I'll never tell. - What? - At this rate, my
Postmates is gonna get here at the same time my... - Uno, Uno, Uno, Uno... (laughing) Uno, Uno, Uno, Uno. - Are you trying to say Shane... - Why would you do that? - How do I press Uno bitch? - Oh god damnit, why do you
guys want to keep playing? - How do I press Uno? (laughing) - This is actually better
than playing the actual game, is just seeing how long
this torturous round can go. - How do I press Uno? - You already pressed it. (laughing) - Yes. - Damnit. (laughing) Yeah. Sorry... - Oh my god, there it is all right. - Uh oh, were all tied,
aunt Carolyn's now here. (laughing) - Why would you do it? - I had to get rid of it. I'm so sorry. - Uno, Uno. - You didn't say it I'm sorry. - (beep) I pressed it. - No, you didn't press it hard enough. - You literally pressed it the
second I sat down the card. Matt you want this to go on forever. - You pressed it before you
sat down the card Shane, it's either you set down the card, or you call Uno, it's one of the two. - Oh. - Oh Matt no, I swear to
god, Matt Raub I will send my entire family to murder you. - Oh no. - Please. - What does that do? What the hell is that? - Hurry the hell up. - (beep) this guy, (beep)
him dude, I hate him so much. Okay bitch, okay freakin'
stupid Rabbid, I get it, you are in a hurry, you
got somewhere to be. Why aren't you wearing
pants, why are you're cheeks thicker than mine? Oh my god. (laughing) (mumbles) - What, I need to get the... I need to get rid of it. - Oh buddy Shane. - So sorry. - I just wanna point out. We got two of you with
two cards, and then... - Uno, Uno, Uno, - No, you pressed the button. - I did. - It is not clear, it is not clear. - I did, I'm so mad. - You clearly did not. - I want to win, listen
Augustus, I want to win. - I don't believe you. - Uno. Uno. No. - Why? (laughing) - I hate everything so much. No. - Oh sweet christ. - That's not what I wanted. - This is great, this is great. We're havin' fun. (laughing) - (beep) Claud. (laughing) - This is (beep) (laughing) - Oh boy. No. I refuse bro. I refuse. I just want to be queen. I have faith guys. With every bit of cartilage
in my body I feel it. - [Augustus] God damnit. - There we go, great. - I'm going to do this. - Great, we're doin' great,
we're doin great guys. - Shane. - Going on forever. I quit, I can't play
this character anymore. - I'm sorry Courtney. - Oh screw you... - Sorry. - Screw you. Frick. I'm sweating. - Here we go, this is a fun game. I ate mayonnaise for you people. (laughing) - No, no. - I'm sorry Court, I'm sorry. - Matt Raub. - I'm just tryin' to get rid of my cards, I'm just tryin' to get rid of cards. - Ugh. (burps) Oh (beep) you bitch. - [Matt] I'm so sorry. - You know what this is (mumbles) - But it's gonna go to Shane. (laughing) - Oh. - That's fine, take 'em. You can take 'em, that's fine. - Seven. (laughing) - God damn it. (beep) - I just wanna (beep) win. - I know, I'm sorry. Shane put on lipstick for this. - I'm seeing spots. - Could be from the five
scoops of actual mayonnaise you ate. - No. Okay Mr. Dr. Matt Raub. - Yes queen. - No. - No. - You idiot. - Ugh, it's all I had, it's all I had. - Winning is fun and all but
I wanna point out that I have two cards, Matt has
three, Shane has three. We're all so close to doin' it right. So (beep) you. (laughing) It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. You tell me what you need
me to put down for us to go, so I can take a (beep),
eat a bunch of food, and lobe at the same time. (laughing) You tell me exactly what you need from me. - Yellow, anything yellow. - I can't, they keep doing the tutorial, and I can't see what is needed, no. Okay go (mumbles) There I go, comin' right
back at ya, two card girl. - Ooh - Great, gotta a little. I will draw more. (laughing) - I got a plus four, I'm not
even gonna play it right now. I'm gonna tell you that much right now. Coz I don't wanna make you draw four. I want someone to.. God damnit. - It's the only option I have. - Are you kidding me? - But I also very much
don't want Matt to win. - That's fine. (laughing) - No, buddy, no. - Oh my god, I'm just
hanging out with my friends, playing classic friendly game of Uno. - No, no, no. - Matt I swear to god. - (laughing) - You're just shirtless at this point. - You took off your dress? Oh my goodness. - We're losing our mind. - We can do this. - Oh (beep) this guy,
I hate this nakey boy. I hate this nakey boy so much. - I like him, he makes things go fast, like I will, when I let
out some hot snakes later. - Is it hot snakes or a hot solid? - It could be both, it started
out solid but you really rustled up my jimmies. So, now I don't know. - This bunny's got more cheeks than me, and I don't feel good about it. - Yep, there we go. - Wow. Oh (beep) you, how'd that happen? - What do you need? What color does everyone need? - Oh that was... No. Hey honestly Damian, if you win I'll be just as happy Augustus. - Thank you. I'll answer to both right now. - What if I win? - My commitment is through the floor. I feel like Shane is just dead. (drone) - Literally the only card
I could play was like, the (beep) you card, where
it's like the next person who has to draw, has to draw
a million, so I was like no. - Oh. - Shane is just, stripped
and become Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho". - Ahh Uno. - I've lost my mind, entirely. - Uno. - Matt be smart about this. Oh my god - Oh damnit. - Oh. - Hey guys this has been
a great Smosh Games, I'm gonna go to the bathroom now. - Guys thank you, that
was great, we did it, we finished three games in
seven hours, we managed to do... - Carolyn what happened to you? - Carolyn, are you... My god. My god. (laughing) - Just played for so long. (laughing) - The character's just completely gone. - Thank you guys for bein' troopers. That was amazing, if you guys
wanna see us play more Uno we won't, we won't, I'm so sorry. - We won't, this was too much. - We will never. This was too much for us. - Uno, we can't handle... - Yeah we're dead now. Thank you guys, if you wanna watch a video that we suggested for you,
you can click over somewhere on the screen here, and
a video that YouTube suggested for you, you can click on the
screen somewhere over here. That was great. - I love my boys, I just want to say I love
playing with my boys, and thank you for being my boys. - Thanks so much Shane Freakin' Topp, and thank you also Shane for being here. This was a lot of fun. Bye guys. - Bye.
