What's up, Greg? I hope you're all having a great day! Welcome back to another episode of Danny's Big Boy Craft Emporium, home of the finest crafts on all of the Internet. It's been a really long time since I've made a video about Troom Troom, I think it's been, like, five or six months. The last video I did about Troom Troom was called "Trying Awful Troom Troom Pranks," and that video blew.... the hell up! I think it's got like 6 million views now, and it launched my channel from, like, 600,000 subs to over a million. So I'm gonna do that again. So, I haven't looked at Troom Troom's channel in a while and while I was researching for this video, I started to realize that, I think they're trying to shade me! A few people have sent before that Troom Troom now has a character named Ms. Gonzalez. [human-robot female voice] "Miss Gonzales is in complete harmony with her kitchen!" She's a character that they only just started including in their videos a couple months ago, so I thought that that might be shading me, because this channel is from, like, Ukraine or something. I don't know how many people with the last name Gonzalez.... there are in Ukraine, but I'm guessing it's not a lot. So I don't know what else they could be referencing, but then I saw this video, it's called "Nine Fun Christmas Treat Ideas," and we find out that Ms. Gonzales has a nephew... named Stevie. Stevie Gonzalez. [Human-robot woman's voice] "Unicorn is home alone!" [human-robot female voice cont.] "She is decorating her room, and there is a shadow behind the door." [human-robot female voice cont.] "Who is that? The spirit of Christmas? It turns out that it's Ms. Gonzalezes nephew, Stevie!" He has this creepy entrance, where he's, like, staring through the window, then he comes in, and you get a good look at him, and you realize... He's got my haircut, and he looks a lot like me. Not that every white dude with this haircut doesn't look like me, but... Still, do you think this is a coincidence? His name is Stevie Gonzalez. [Human-robot lady] "Unicorn is so happy!" [Human-robot cont.] "Stevie will help her embellish the house... huh, you wish!" [Human-robot lady some more] Stevie is a busy bee; there is no room for unicorns and Christmas decorations in his schedule. [Human-robot lady's almost done] He has to keep an eye on his Instagram likes!" They also made him, like, a huge asshole who's, like, actively hating on Troom Troom in the videos. They make him super obsessed with getting likes on Instagram, almost like they're trying to shade an influencer. *scoff* What the fuck do you think you're trying to pull, Troom Troom? You think I don't get it? You think I don't see what you're trying to do? You're trying to shade me so that I make another video about you, aren't you? Well, it's not gonna work, and you want to know why? Because I was already gonna make another video about you anyway... bitch. Then there's this whole plot where Stevie Gonzalez is rude and eats cookies when he's not supposed to, and he turns into a reindeer. [Human-robot female speaks] "Apparently, these unicorn cookies are magical. They just can't bear rude people!" This is like psychological warfare! Are you threatening to curse me and turn me into a reindeer? I won't have it. Anyway, that's enough talking about Stevie Gonzalez. I just thought that that was really weird that I've apparently been "beefing" with this Ukrainian craft channel for months and had no idea... Anyway, Greg, let's get into some crafts! So the theme for today's crafts is... Sneaky. More specifically, sneaking shit into school that you're not supposed to have in school. Troom Troom's got a bunch of these videos like this one. It's called "10 Weird Ways to Sneak Gadgets Into Class," and in this particular craft, they're going to teach us how to sneak music into class. So you can listen to music without your teacher knowing. "What a boring class! The girls need to come up with something Cindy just so happens to have a musical pencil sharpener." A musical pencil sharpener, huh? This sounds like a pretty cool idea. I don't know if this was a thing in most high schools, But I've seen lots of creative ways of, like, listening to music in class. I think the most creative one I've seen is, like, you actually run the wire from your phone up, like, a hoodie, and down your sleeve and then you have the earphone in, like, the palm of your hand, and you just pretend to be resting your hands so you can listen to music in class instead of... passing high school... I guess. [Craft lady robot] "Take apart a pencil sharpener of a suitable size. Cover it with a decorative tape." Decorate the pencil sharpener with tape... I'm not sure how that's gonna make it play music, but.. [exaggerated tape noise] Okay, my pencil sharpener is covered in decorative tape. [cRAFT tIME kIDS] "Put an MP3 player inside, plug headphones into the pencil sharpener and sneakily turn on some hype music." What? That's the whole craft? That's how you sneakily listen to music in class? This doesn't fix the problem with listening to music in class! The problem is that you've got wires running directly to your ears! So they think their teacher is just gonna be like, "Hey, no listening to music in class! Oh, oh, my bad... It's just... It's just plugged into a pencil sharpener. They must just be listening to... Pencil shavings." Okay, be honest. Can you tell that I'm listening to music right now? Oh, what this? No, I'm not listening to music! I'm just listening... to a... pencil sharpener. [Some lady who's evil] "Our secret party is going very well so far! The teacher doesn't notice anything." The teacher doesn't notice anything!? I have headphones in! He doesn't notice that? [Cont. with le robot human] "Next thing you know a dance battle will start." And now it's saying that you can dance at your desk and your teacher still won't notice? If you were my teacher and you saw me, just at my desk like this, with my headphones plugged into a pencil sharpener, I mean, either you would assume I was listening to music or you would just be really worried about me and ask what was wrong, right? Overall, I got a say this is pretty inventive and a great way to trick your blind teacher! Do you think Troom Troom knows that they make wireless earbuds? You know what's a better way to hide that you're listening to music in class? *Puts le earbud in and TURN* (Good job, you get a sticker) I'm fucking jamming out right now, and you have no idea. Okay, this next one's called "Eight Weird Ways to Sneak Giant Stress Relievers into Class". So... pretty bold of them to imply that there's normal ways to sneak giant stress relievers into class. What does that mean? Like, we all know with all the normal ways to sneak giant squishy balls into class, but here's some weird ways to do it. The premise of this whole video is teaching you how to make giant stress relievers that look like school supplies, so like a giant pencil sharpener, that's actually a squishy pencil sharpener that you can sneak into class the only problem being that... Why would you bring a giant pencil sharpener to school in the first place? You're like hiding a weird thing in an even weirder thing! It would probably be more normal to just bring like a stress ball to school, *intense squishing sounds* but instead they're like you need to hide the squishiness of a stress ball in something that we all bring to class-- Like a giant pencil sharpener. "Redhead is late to class. She brought some chaos to school along with her homework." Honestly, same. I bring chaos literally everywhere I go. "She's having a bad day. She fell into a puddle and tarnished her reputation!" I'm trying to picture how she fell into this puddle.... and only got, like, the tip of her knee wet? If you fell into a puddle on your knees, you would get like this whole your whole shin wet and your knee How did she fall into a puddle and just get the tip of her knee wet? She must have like *SPLOOSH*. She must have just dipped the tip of her knee in the puddle Honestly that's impressive if that's what she did, and no wonder it tarnished her reputation. Everybody was probably like, "Did you just see that girl?" Jump knee first into a puddle? What's wrong with her?" "But Dolly knows how to calm her friend down. A giant paperclip will help her!" A giant paperclip will help her... Well, what? How was that gonna help? That's not a stress reliever. It's just, like, a silly looking thing. This girl must be realsily entertained if the second her friend pulls out a giant paperclip just like day is ruined oh, OH foOK yeah, dude! Is this a giant paperclip?! Oh fuck yes! Tde! I've been waiting for this! Ughhh!" Okay, let's figure out how to make this giant paperclip. "Bend a piece of wire to be the shape of a big paperclip." Okay, I got some crafting wire, and we're going to turn into the shape of a paperclip. *construction sounds* Okay, that's a pretty siable giant paperclip, and you know what? I'mretty relieved o Honestly, I don't even think I need to do anything to it. I feel... Weirdly calm now No, no, not yet. Not until we finish the craft. "Mix light clay of different colors and cover the big paper clip with the rainbow mixture." *Opens clay* *Clay falls* Huh, okay And now I'm just gonna cover the piece of wire, and feast your eyes as this regular piece of wire turns into a stress reliever! Fuck. Come on, Daddy-O. Daddy needs a new paperclip. Okay. Here we are. [Success music] Maybe I used the wrong type of wire or something cuz it's totally not staying in ... Place "Dolly presents her anti-stress invention: a giant soft paperclip. What a nice toy!" Look how happy she is, she's like thrilled. This is the best gift she's ever received in her life! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Eeeee Eeeee Hahahaha How easily entertained you have to be for this for someone showing you this to make your day? "She figures out some unusual ways to use it: a punk styled necklace or maybe a hat!" Oh, sick. So it actually it's got a couple different functions. *Danny is happy* Could honestly probably make a weapon. *SMACK* YEAH! So it's not only a stress reliever, but also very dangerous, a very dangerous weapon. Here's another video called "15 Weird Ways To Sneak Candies Into Class". This video is for people who need to be consuming candy at all times. They can't wait until passing period; they can't wait until lunch. They need candy. NOW. "Mr. Sebastian is wearing a weird tie today. Is this actually a new trend in fashion? He's definitely hiding something! Sebastian tries to distract the students with studying so that they don't suspect anything, and meanwhile, He carefully adjusts the knot on the tie and drinks his favourite chocolate milk." So this invention is supposed to help teachers sneak chocolate milk into class Because I guess for some reason teachers aren't allowed to just bring, like, a water bottle full of Chocolate milk to class? Like, teachers are allowed to have water bottles in class, right? Couldn't you just hide it in this? You could hide anything in this, and no one would know. Why do you need to make a fucking tie? Who is so desperate for chocolate milk that they need to engineer this thing? ME, that's who. "Cover a plastic shirt collar bend with yellow velour, cut off the excess, and sew it." Then it says to sew... this part together um, but I don't... Know how to sew, so I'm just gonna glue it, and I hope that's okay. Here comes the glue, Papi. Ah, Jesus, ow! Holy shit! I just touched hot glue. I think I have a burn on my finger. Jesus... hot glue is (SUSPENSFUL MUSIC) Hot (owww) All of these craft channels use hot glue like it's nothing! They should have safety warnings at the beginning of all these videos. That really could have fucked my finger up, dude. Low-key that could've high-key Destroyed my finger (low-key). "Fasten a tie from a collapsible plastic vase." I didn't know what a collapsible plastic vase was. That's something that I feel like I've never seen before in my life, So I'm just gonna use a Ziploc bag. It says to make a tie shape out of this. I don't know if I want to go for like a Realistic tie look or like the tie that they have in the video, Which is like this thick, like, really wide tie that nobody would ever wear. Yeah, okay, I guess I'm going with a thick tie. I guess I'm going with a real thick tie. I definitely feel like the second I fill this up with water The whole thing's just gonna unfold, and this is going to be a disaster. "Hot glue the top halfway." Is this gonna melt the plastic? Time to find out! Ow! *sizzle* Even like pushing this close through the plastic is like burning my fingers to even touch. Craft channels are all over hot glue like They're not constantly burning their fingers. How do they do that? How was that not the biggest mystery of 2018? I'm a little bit worried low-key that this is going to melt the plastic of the Ziploc bag-- all this hot glue. Just low-key, high-key. "Attach the tie to the base." So now we just glue a big strip of glue, Big enough for the entire neck of this wide-ass tie. Then I'm gonna place the tie on the neck piece Then I'm gonna press down ever so gently burning the tips of my fingers off. *Danny's finger tips melting* You're going to be able to commit lots of crimes after this because all of your Fingerprints will be burned off. So this is very exciting. "Wrap it with fabric And sew it." I think I got hot glue in my eye. Yeah, I definitely did. How did I do that? Why craft channels? Why are you so obsessed with hot glue? Are you guys being paid off by the hot glue industry? It all makes sense now. This glue gun is also the biggest piece of trash. It comes with this little wire stand so you can set it down, But it just doesn't work. Okay, it's looking pretty good. What's the what are the last steps? "Put a flexible tube into the hole. Pour in your drink through a funnel." So that's gonna go right in the hole, and then I and then I get to pour in my drink of choice. This would actually work. Hold on. I'm gonna fill this up with water ...Hold on... It got a little wet, but *Sloosh sloosh* You can hear it's got water in it. So let's give this a shot! Okay I can't entirely tell on the screen if this looks like a tie or not. The wire that I used definitely cannot hold the weight of all the water in this pouch, and I do feel like I've sprung a leak. It does feel very wet down here. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm *sluuuuurp* Oh, fuck yeah Okay, be honest If your teacher came into class one day and they were wearing this, and you were studying, and you sneakily saw your teacher Pull a straw out of their tie *sluuurp* Would you be suspicious? "And when Sebastian finishes the cocktail, he takes off the tie." When he's done with the drink? He takes off the tie as he like chucks it on the ground. Teacher what happened to your tie? What tie? I wasn't wearing a tie today. There was never a tie. I think that water... I think it tasted like hot glue. I just got this weird taste in my mouth. Eh, that's probably fine. "Mr. Sebastian has also brought a laptop into the classroom without anyone noticing. The secret is in his briefcase." This one is so weird cuz the whole craft is like hiding the fact that the teacher is using a laptop during class, when if Anyone should be allowed to use a computer during class, It should be the teacher right? Don't most schools nowadays, like, the teacher has a laptop in the classroom or like a computer anyway? Why would a teacher not be allowed to use a computer during class? It's his class. Like, is he gonna like sneakily open up the computer and the students are gonna be like, "HEY! What did I say about that computer, mister? GIVE IT HERE. You could have it after class For right now, you got to teach us. I want to see you get up there and write some shit on the board cuz I wanna learn." Are students really gonna do that? No, obviously. They're too busy listening to their pencil sharpeners. And this whole craft is like "Ooo, you can pretend to be teaching when really you're scrolling the web on your laptop." But you can't... pretend to be teaching. If you're a student, you can pretend to be paying attention cuz you just have to stare, but when you're teaching You have to be, like, talking and answering questions and writing shit on the board. You can't be doing that and playing a YouTube video on your computer. "Take an old briefcase. Cover the leather around the fasteners with painters tape. Coat the metallic clasps with gold acrylic paint. Cut circles out of metallic corrugated cardboard. Paint them gold, and hot glue them to make pyramids. Attach them to the corners of the briefcase." What does any of this have to do with putting... a laptop in a briefcase? What? There's so many extra steps to this. Do you want to see how you do this craft? I'll show you. *Danny opens briefcase* *Danny puts laptop in briefcase* *Danny is done* There.
That's the whole thing. That's the craft. Why do you need to put little gold corners on the briefcase? To make it look like a briefcase? It's already a briefcase! Is that to distract from what's going on over here? So students are like, "Damn, that briefcase is blinged out!" They're just like staring at the gold corners on it instead of the teacher who's been Staring into his laptop for the past 45 minutes. I just imagine him in the middle of teaching, and he's like, "So if you look on the board here you can see- oh! Whoa! Whoa! Whoops! Oh! I dropped my pen into my briefcase. Hold on kids, I gotta look for it." [Watches Troom Troom video] "Ohh, yeah!" All of his kids are just sitting there like watching him, "Man, where did this pen go, guys? I cannot find it!" It's been like 45 minutes since he even looked at them. "Put your laptop inside." Yeah, no shit. Put the laptop inside. That's the whole thing. I know to do that. Why isn't this working? They can still see the laptop! "Put your laptop inside." Ohhhhh! Inside! Heh, I'm so stupid. "Attach an elastic cord loop at the top. Put in a mouse." A mouse? This dude can't used the trackpad on his laptop? And he's using the mouse outside of the briefcase! How is this not the most obvious thing ever? "Sorry, guys. I still can't find the pen that I dropped in here almost an hour ago. I think I'm getting pretty close though." And he's browsing Troom Troom because of course he is. He's got to constantly be look out for new weird ways to neglect his Students and get fired from his job. What kind of world does Troom Troom want us living in? I just imagine like walking into a classroom five years in the future, and everybody's just Pretending to be doing what they're supposed to be doing. Like, you walk in, and the teachers at his desk Pretending to be teaching, but he's really staring into his briefcase Typing, and he's also like drinking chocolate milk out of this weird tie- thing he invented. There's a bunch of students with their headphones plugged into pencil sharpeners, Just rocking out. And then there's just one student who's just sitting in the back crying, just squeezing a gigantic paperclip. And most of the students aren't even there. They're just, like, cardboard cutouts of themselves. Well, guys, I hope you enjoyed this video. I think we've all learned something today: hot glue fucking sucks. If you want to get some of this merch that I just ruined, go To Danny Gonzalez dot store (dannygonzalez.store). This is a really cool t-shirt That shows what it would look like if you looked up the fastest growing army, which you shouldn't do. But if you did it, would come up with a page that says "Did you mean Greg?" Don't look it up, (take off the blindfold... look it up) But you can buy the shirt instead of looking it up I hope you guys enjoyed this video; if you're new here, make sure you subscribe and turn on my notifications to join Greg Thank you, Nikki Murphy, for turning on my notifications. You are truly Greg. I'll see you guys next time with a really interesting video where I put on a dress... Bye!
