This Dude Is In Jail Because You Won't Buy His Merch

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What's up, Greg? I hope you're all having a great day. Welcome back to my channel, this of course is another episode of It's America's favorite pastime So someone just sent me this video called "my little brother goes to prison for 24 hours" and I watched it and it's hilarious. I think it was on the trending page when he sent it to me also, so there's a good chance that a lot of you might have seen this. It's a video uploaded by FaZe Kay Who's a member of FaZe Clan™, he lives in the FaZe House with all the other FaZe Members None of these words mean anything to me, but they might to you I don't know what FaZe Clan™ is But basically it's a video where FaZe Kay's little brother FaZe Jarvis, Who might have the least cool name in all the FaZe Clan™ Gets sent to prison because he was playing Fortnite. And it's really bad. It's kind of like halfway between a skit and one of those like Rebecca Zamolo videos or Chad Wild Clay videos where it's like for little kids and it's obviously not real, but it's just real enough that little kids might believe it's real. It also has one of the weirdest - granted, most creative but also unethical merch plugs I've ever seen in a video. But first, there's one thing I want to talk about. And no, it's not a sponsor. No, it's not me plugging the tour again. Although now that you mention it, I probably should plug the tour. We're going on tour!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆ We've officially announced all of the cities and tour stops for the tour It's gonna be me and Drew Gooden and Kurtis Conner all going on tour together, we're performing a live comedy show. If you want to come, all of the tickets are available now. A bunch of venues have sold out, so if you want to come, you should probably get your tickets sooner rather than later. Because you know what they say! "Rather la -" "Rather... late than never!" That's not... You know what they say... "Rather now... than never." Uhh, and if that's not a saying...then it is now. But what I really want to talk about is the fact that I tricked all your dumb asses. That's right. I had you all fooled. Because for the past two weeks, I was on vacation in Japan, and none of you had any idea. I was in Japan for 10 days, and I pretended not to be, perfectly. Lately, I've seen a lot of videos where people *pretended* to go on vacation somewhere or they *pretend* to go to Coachella when really they're just at home photoshopping pictures of themselves at these places. So I thought it'd be fun to do the exact same thing. Except the opposite. And pretend to not go on vacation. And why, might you ask, would I want to do this? I don't - I don't know, really. I think a lot of influencers' brands rely on them having like a cool, fun life that you would want to emulate. But mine is sort of the opposite of that. My brand is kind of centered around sitting in tHiS exACt lOcATioN and doing this. So I wanted to keep that brand consistent by making it seem like I didn't leave the country. Also, Drew just went on vacation to Ireland at the exact same time for his honeymoon, and I didn't want to get a bunch of comments like *Greg voice* "Oh, look, they really are the same person, they both went on vacation to a different country for Drew's honeymoon at the same time!" Which isn't even valid because... Yeah sure, we were both celebrating Drew's honeymoon, but we went to different countries. So before I went on vacation, I made sure I had three videos locked and loaded, ready to go. I could post those while I was on vacation to make it seem like I was here. I even made sure to mention at the end of one of the videos that I wasn't in a different country. Alright, thank you Phoebe Westbrooks for turning on my notifications. You are truly Greg. I'm currently in America and NOT a different country, and I'll see you guys next time with a really interesting video where I kick a ball so hard that my shoe flies off. Bye! (*outro song* this video...) just to avoid any suspicion. The plan was foolproof... ...which is good. Because I'm a fool. I also made sure to keep my Twitter presence up, tweeting like an average American person, only during hours an American person would be awake. I even made sure to tag my location in some of the tweets as being in the United States. All while I was feeding bananas to a Japanese macaque on the top of a mountain. And you guys were none the wiser. Well that all seems pretty impressive, right? Wrong. Because there's more. I mean it was - it was already impressive But it wasn't all of it. Towards the end of my trip, I realized I hadn't posted anything on Instagram in a really long time. But the problem was, I didn't have any good pictures of me at home, sitting in this desk, or in another American location. In fact, the only good picture I had from me on my trip was me in front of the Tokyo Disney Castle. So I decided to do what I'd seen them do in a couple of videos and Photoshop myself to look like I was at home, in America, at a regular American grocery store. So instead of enjoying my vacation, I spent hours in bed photoshopping this nearly flawless composite. I added a caption, tagged myself as being in the US, and the rest is history. All in all, was it a lot of work? Yes. Did all this extra work ruin my enjoyment of my vacation to Japan? Yes, but was it all worth it? Hell no, but did I fool all of you? Also, no. Because Laura was posting on her Instagram story the entire time that we were in Japan. Anyways, let's talk about this video. Okay, so the video starts out and FaZe Kay is the one filming. He's like barely in the video at all, even though it's his channel. But he's filming his little brother Jarvis playing Fortnite. And then behind Jarvis, there's two even smaller humans. It's never explained who they are or why they're there. Or why they're watching him play Fortnite. But they are there, and they're all having a great time. FaZe Kay: Nooo, there you go!!! Jarvis, bro!!! Danny: So he's playing Fortnite for like the first 10 seconds of the video, and then he wins the game, and everyone's so excited for him. But then FaZe Kay says something that's kind of surprising. FaZe Kay: Jarvis, bro!!! You just won Fortnite! *softly* In school. Danny: "In school"! Did you hear him say that? They're playing Fortnite "in school"? I don't know why I didn't realize that this was a school. I mean the set is so well designed This is what every school looks like. Sad gray walls, blank empty bulletin board, sad plant, three different age groups of kids... Like, these kids look like they could be in elementary school, or maybe middle school. Jarvis looks like he could be in high school. FaZe Kay - if he ever showed himself - looks like he's too old to be allowed into a high school. So they don't ever say why they were playing Fortnite in a high school. Like Jarvis brought his entire setup, like his TV, and his Xbox, and his controller, and his headset, and everything to play Fortnite in school. And they, like, never explain why. It's also unclear, like, when in the day this is. Like, is this during class? Is this before school or after school? They never really mentioned that. So where he's just in school in this empty-ass classroom... Playing Fortnite. FaZe Kay: That's insane, man! Alright, man. Guess it's time to pack up and leave, bro. Danny: I like that the second he wins, they're all just like "Alright, time to pack up and go. That's all we came to do. We lugged all of our stuff to school, walked in, set it up, played one game of Fortnite, and then won. And then we're like, 'Well, that's that, time to go home.'" It all seems like a lot of work for not much payoff. It's like, what were you trying to prove? Why don't you just stay home and play for Fortnite? It seems like a lot less work. And the thing is, we'll never know what they were trying to prove, 'cause they never explain it. They never say why they did this. FaZe Kay: So glad you didn't get caught!! Danny: You're telling me, FaZe Kay. I'm really glad you guys didn't get caught. Wait a minute... That sounds like something someone would say right before they get caught. Teacher: Jarvis! What is this? Danny: Oh fuuuuuuuuck!! FaZe Kay: Oh, Jarvis. Oh, no, man. Teacher: So they weren't not lying to me, huh? They're telling me on the cameras that you've been here since six. That's two hours before the school begin. Danny: Okay, so this is a very confusing scenario to me. And I've never watched any of FaZe Kay's other videos before. I did go through and skim through some of them, just to get, like, an idea of what his channel is about. But I have no idea where these take place. Or like, what country are they supposed to be in? It's really confusing. Like, FaZe Jarvis and FaZe Kay are obviously British. The two kids... I don't know where they're from, 'cause they- they don't say a word for the entire video. They just kind of stand around with a blank expression. Like, looking around like they're not sure what they're supposed to do. But then the classroom has an American flag. So you would think that this is an American school. And then the teacher comes in, and he has like a totally different accent than everyone else. Teacher: What is this? Danny: It's like a- Teacher: You cannot be kidding me, man. Danny: I dunno, is it like Russian, or Middle Eastern, or... Canadian? I don't know. Either way, it only adds another layer of confusion onto this entire scenario that was so confusing already. I mean, it really goes to show what a mixing pot of cultures America really is. I mean... It doesn't matter where you're from, whether you're born here, whether you're British, or mute, or from... ...you know... a different country. Okay, so the teacher comes in and he's like, "What are you guys doing in here?" I just saw security camera footage that showed you guys sneaking into the school!" So maybe it's before school, 'cause he says he saw them sneak in at like 6 in the morning? FaZe Jarvis: I'm getting it all away, don't worry. Teacher: I'm- I'm sorry. Sorry. Teacher: Jarvis, I'm going to have to call the police. FaZe Kay: Ohhh, no no no no. Teacher: I could get fired. FaZe Kay: Please- Teacher: I could get in serious trouble. FaZe Jarvis: Call the police? FaZe Kay: No, man. FaZe Jarvis: No, no, no. Teacher: I'm sorry. THRASHER and Vans: *absolutely nothing* FaZe Jarvis: You don't HAVE to do that, though. Teacher: I'm sorry, I have to. I have to. FaZe Kay: Awww, bro. Teacher: And you two, you guys should know better, too. FaZe Kay: No, these guys- these guys just got to school, man. They're not involved. Teacher: Oh, you guys just got here? THRASHER: Yeah. We're here early. Teacher: Oh, okay. FaZe Kay: They're not involved, man. Danny: At first the teacher's like "YOU'RE ALL IN BIG TROUBLE." But then FaZe Kay, who's behind the camera, is like, "No, no, no. They don't have anything to do with this. They just got here." And the teacher just takes their word for it. He's like, "Oh, okay. Sure. I trust you. Okay, yeah, they can go. You do seem like the adult of the group. You are a 23-year-old filming a 16-year-old playing Fortnite in a high school... so I think I can trust you." So the teacher says he's gonna call the police, and then all of a sudden it cuts to them and they're in a different location. I guess they're waiting for the police to show up. And I don't know what this room is supposed to be? I've never seen a room like this in a school before. There's like a sink, and a- I think it's a toaster oven? And then there's, like, a scale. Like the type you would see at a doctor's office. Maybe it's like a teacher's lounge? So, like, teachers can come in there with their lunch and heat it up, and then eat it. And then, like, step on the scale to see how much weight they gain from their lunch. And then wash their hands. Teacher: I'm sorry, man. I'm very sorry, but this is Officer Zioli. Okay? FaZe Jarvis: I just was on a- Teacher: Yeah, it is considered a trespassing. Before you came, before they made the call. FaZe Jarvis: Reeeaalllyyy? Teacher: Yes, it is considered a tresspassing. FaZe Kay: Awww nooo. Teacher: You have to deal with Officer Zioli. Officer Z: I wanna ask you- Danny: So finally the police officer comes in, the- the teacher introduces Jarvis to the police officer. Or, oh, sorry, the SWAT Police officer. They called the SWAT Police, which I don't think is a real thing. But they called the SWAT police because, uh, this 16-year-old was playing Fortnite in an empty classroom. FaZe Jarvis: I was just on a- Teacher: Yeah, it is considered a trespassing. Before you came, before they made the call. Yes. FaZe Jarvis: REEALLLYYYY? FaZe Jarvis- I mean, maybe it's 'cause he's 16, I can't really blame him that much, but it just seems like the way that he acts is just so lax about everything. It's like the way he responds to the police showing up, it's just like, "Wait, but I was just, like, on a computer. So is that- I was just, like, playing Fortnite. Is that- Like I don't get why it's got to be like that." It's an interesting acting technique he's using. I've seen lots of famous actors use this technique before, where you say- you're saying the lines, and- but at the same time, you uh, very clearly don't want to be there, and don't want to be in the video at all. Officer Z: I want to ask you... Like, I know it's one thing with the teacher, and one thing with the student... What happened? What exactly was it? FaZe Jarvis: I was just wanting to win a game of Fortnite, really. Officer Z: Okay, and- FaZe Jarvis: That's literally all I was doing. Officer Z: What time did you enter the school? Was it a breaking entering? FaZe Jarvis: I mean... Like... Officer Z: Because if it is, I'm gonna have to take you to jail, I'm sorry. FaZe Jarvis: It was just walk-in. Didn't really break-in. Officer Z: Alright, well, the supervisor checked the camera, says you broke and entered at 6:00 in the morning. Officer Z: So, we're gonna have to- FaZe Jarvis: ...man FaZe Kay: JARVIS, BRO. Danny: *laughs in Danny accent* What? Why did he even ask, then? The SWAT officer is like, "So, I want to get both sides of the story to be fair. Because you know, sometimes the teachers can be a little bit biased. So, just, you know, did you break into the school?" (Britishly:) "No, I- I didn't break anything. I just walked in. I didn't break and enter at all." "YEAH WELL ACTUALLY, THE TEACHER SAID YA DID! ALRIGHT? AND I'M GONNA BELIEVE HIM! You're goin' downtown. And you're gonna go away for a long time for this, bitch." FaZe Kay: Jarvis, bro! Awww brooo Danny: Meanwhile, FaZe Kay is behind the camera the entire time just going "Oh, no, bro." "Oh, Jahvis, № bro." "Oh NO Jahvis, nnnoo!" "Jahvis it CAHN'T be you, Jahvis!" Like, you don't have to tell Jarvis no. You don't have to keep telling him, "Oh no, bro." Jarvis already knows "Oh no." That's probably going on in his head a lot. "Oh, no, what have I done? I cahn't believe I've done this." That's all FaZe Kay does for this entire video is just go, "Oh, no. Jahvis. No, bro!" FaZe Kay: No way, Jarvis, bro! Danny: It's almost like anybody could have filmed this video, and then FaZe Kay just could've recorded that and played it over the entire video. And you would- there would be no difference. 'Cause he never stops. The next scene is at the jail cell. Jarvis is already in an orange jumpsuit, you know, like they do when they send you to jail. So it's probably been like an hour or two since the last scene, 'cause they had to drive all the way to the jail. They had to intake Jarvis. They had to put him in the orange jumpsuit. It's probably been like an hour or two, so you'd probably think that FaZe Kay has calmed down by now, right? (nope) FaZe Kay: JARVIS, BRO! JARVIS! FaZe Jarvis: I didn't actually do anything, man! FaZe Kay: NO WAY! This isn't real, Jarvis. Danny: He's still so surprised. He still can't get over it. It's been two hours, and probably the entire time, he's just been: "Oh no, Jahvis, bro. Nooo." FaZe Kay: Bro, that's actually insane. Man, this is SUCKS, bro. And the one time he tries to say something that's not "Jarvis, bro," he messes it up. FaZe Kay again: This is SUCKS, bro. Danny: "This is sucks, bro. This is SUCKS, man." So once he gets him into jail, the SWAT police officer tells him that Jarvis' bail... -Remember, all he did was play Fortnite in a classroom- Jarvis' bail is one million dollars. Officer Z: And unless I see one million dollars within the next 48 hours- FaZe Jarvis: A million dollars? Officer Z: One million dollars. FaZe Kay: What?! Officer Z: He'll be going to the Federal State Penitentiary. FaZe Kay: WHAT, BRO?!?!?! Danny: Wait, why isn't FaZe Kay in jail, too? Why did he not get arrested? I understand maybe why the two kids didn't if they had just gotten there, and they didn't break and enter, but like, FaZe Kay should probably be getting punished more than Jarvis. He's like the adult in this situation. Jarvis is 16. And he's- he's literally not been punished at all, and he's been allowed to videotape the entire thing. Well, how did he not break the same laws as Jarvis? Unless the real law that was broken is playing Fortnite in a classroom. Is that really why Jarvis is in jail? Like, they don't give a shit about the breaking-and-entering. It's the Fortnite. It's the Fortnite that was the bad thing. So Jarvis is in jail with a million dollar bail... I think it's gonna hail. I grew a little tail. FaZe Kay: JARVIS, BRO! Jarvis has to compete in the World Cup this weekend. He's got to stream and make videos, man. Drew: Everything seems hopeless, they don't know what they're gonna do, but then they come up with the perfect plan. FaZe Kay: That's insane, bro. I can't believe you're in jail! FaZe Jarvis: Oh my god bro, that's IT! FaZe Kay: What do you mean that's it? FaZe Jarvis: It's a MEME, it's a meme, bro! "Oh my god, that's insane" meme? Like, bro. I don't know what you have to do. FaZe Jarvis: It may be a top, maybe make a t-shirt out of it? FaZe Kay: A t-shirt?!?!?! FaZe Kay: Broooooo. Jarvis, that's it! FaZe Jarvis: Then sell it? You guys could buy it? FaZe Kay: That's how we get Jarvis out of jail! FaZe Jarvis: Bro, this could- this could work! FaZe Kay: This is gonna happen. Alright, I've made a few calls, and the "Oh my god, bro, that's insane!" t-shirts are now out, guys. Danny: OHHHhhhh They're gonna plug their merch! ... This whole eleven-minute video is one big commercial for their merch. Awesome. They made basically this entire video as an elaborate ruse for their impressionable audience, to convince them that this young 16-year-old boy is in jail, and he'll only get out if YOU buy a t-shirt. Holy shit, dude. This is genius. I mean, it's awful. It's very bad. But it is clever. Now, clearly, most of their fans are very young. Because, I couldn't imagine anyone over the age of 11 enjoying this video. And they're very impressionable. I do still think that most people would understand that this is not real. And to be fair, in the description, it does say "This is a skit if you don't know." So it is in the description. But you know that there's still gonna be some little kids who think that this is real. And they're gonna be like, "My favorite YouTuber's in jail, and it's all my fault because I can't buy a t-shirt! Ohhh, Jesus!" That's a lot of guilt to put on an eight-year-old. Make them think that it's their fault someone's in jail unjustly. And even if everyone does know that they're faking it, and this is all like a skit, Kay does say in the video that like, "There's not gonna be any no- any new livestreams, or any new videos from Jahvis, until he gets out of jail." FaZe Kay: Literally, guys. We won't see Jarvis again unless you all do this. Danny: So it's basically like he's holding all of Jarvis' content hostage. And it's like, "Well, if you like Jarvis... We have to make a million dollars from merch. You have to buy a t-shirt so we can make a million dollars. And then we'll keep making videos." Wait, wait, wait, is this FaZe Kay and Jarvis, or Lele Pons and Piques? Am I right? 2016 Vine reference anyone? Did anyone get that? Did you get that? No? Okay. It was a thing. So even though that was an emotional rollercoaster, that was only the first five minutes of the video. And it's eleven minutes long. In the rest of the video, FaZe Kay sneaks an Xbox and a TV into Jarvis' jail cell. Which is really concerning if the crime really was that they were playing Fortnite. Like, don't commit the exact same crime again in prison. You're gonna get punished even more. You're gonna get put into like, Double Prison or something. Also does this jail have no security? Did no one see FaZe Kay walking in with a big-ass TV and Xbox? And a- looks like a big battery or something, a generator to power it. FaZe Kay: I'm literally just sitting in a jail cell with my bro. Danny: So the rest of the video is just him sitting in his jail cell and complaining about being in jail. And FaZe Kay is complaining about Jarvis being in jail. And they're all talking about how much it sucks that he's in jail. FaZe Kay: We're trying to keep his spirit alive right now. Because honestly, unless loads of you guys really want to get these meme t-shirts, then there's no way Jarvis and I are raising a million dollars. Danny: All, I guess, to make you as the viewer feel more guilty for not having bought a t-shirt yet. "Why haven't you bought a t-shirt, bro?" A lot of it is just him silently playing Fortnite also. *Fortnite existing* -_- FaZe Jarvis: BRO! Like they kind of forgot that they were making a video and had to be entertaining, and so they just started silently playing Fortnite. And then the video ends with the police officer coming back and getting mad at them and taking the Xbox away. Because of course that would happen eventually. Officer Z: Alright, I'm taking this out now. And you're supposed to be out of here, visiting hours are over. They've been over for twenty minutes, you gotta leave. FaZe Kay: OH, whoa bro! Jarvis, man, I've gotta go. FaZe Jarvis: Bro, I mean, I'll see you tomorrow. FaZe Kay: No way, I'm- I've gotta leave you in this cell, I've gotta leave my little brother in this cell, guys. :'( Danny: Thank you for the narration, FaZe Kay. I did- I had no idea what was going on in the video, until you just started listing things that were happening. "Oh no I've got to leave the jail. I've got to leave my little brother in the jail cell. Oh, no, he's in jail. And I ha- and now I'm having to leave him in the jail cell. Do you understand what's going on? Have you picked it up yet? I'm having to leave my little brother in a jail cell because you won't buy a t-shirt!" So now you're probably begging to know what happens next, right? (No) Well lucky for you, this video came out a couple days ago. So there's been a few follow-ups to the video. The very next day, they posted another video where Jarvis is in jail, and he's getting released from jail! I guess they've sold enough t-shirts. They've made a million dollars from the merch, and Jarvis gets to leave jail. They just let him leave in the orange jumpsuit. I don't know if that's a thing- do jails do that? They put you in an orange jumpsuit, and then when you get out, they just let you walk down the street in the orange jumpsuit? Wouldn't that freak everyone out, to just see someone walking down the street in a jail outfit? So I guess the guilt trip worked. I guess guilting your audience into buying meme t-shirts really does work. But has Jarvis learned his lesson? Is he gonna become a good student now? Is he gonna stop playing Fortnite in school? No. He's not. Because they just posted a video called "5 WAYS TO PRANK YOUR SCHOOL TEACHER USING FORTNITE" It's the same teacher in the same classroom. And now they're just going through all these goofy ways to prank your teacher using Fortnite. There's just like, referencing Fortnite when you're talking to the teacher. There's- ooh, doing a Fortnite dance when the teacher isn't looking! Teacher: I pledge allegeince to- *Wow so cool.* Danny: There's just straight-up playing Fortnite in class, and the last person to get caught playing Fortnite in class wins. It's like Jarvis has learned nothing! You know that you were almost gonna have to go to federal prison for that, right Jarvis? And the only reason you didn't is 'cause your fans bought a bunch of bad t-shirts? Oh, this is a good one- "Play Fortnite sounds from your phone." You know that game where the sounds are, uh, gunshot sounds? Play those in the school. *Book slams* Teacher: Okay, who is it? Danny: That's a good idea! I hate to say it guys, but... I think this guy might be a bad influence on kids, I don't know. Okay, apparently instead of this video ending with Jarvis going to jail again, this video ends with the teacher suddenly being cool with Fortnite? And he's like, "Alright, let's take a break so Jarvis can play Fortnite." And then they're all standing around watching Jarvis play Fortnite. And the teacher says if Jarvis wins, he'll get extra credit???? Teacher: I will give you twenty extra credit points if you win this game right now. FaZe Kay: OHHH yo, what?! Danny: What kind of message is this?! What is going on? How did this teacher flip-flop so fast? And- and now he loves Fortnite all of the sudden? What kind of message is this to send kids, also? "Have you played Fortnite in class? Your teacher might actually be pretty cool with it. And he might give you extra credit. So give it a shot! And also play gunshots in school. All right, guys, well, that's it for this video. Um, again, if you haven't got tickets for the tour yet, and you want to come, I would do that fast. There's gonna be a link in the description, it's: Also, if you haven't seen my most recent video, it's a music video. Uh, so go check that out if you haven't yet. Alright, well, that's it for this video. Thank you, FISH MONKEY, for turning on my notifications. You are truly 𝔾ℝ𝔼𝔾. I'll see you guys next time with a really interesting video where I turn into a cow. BYE! ♪ This video is over now (over now) Go find something else to watch (or just watch this video again) I know we had a lot of fun (a lot of fun) But you can't stay on this endscreen forever (no) This video is over now (over now) So why are you still watching this? (Do you not have any-)♬
Info
Channel: Danny Gonzalez
Views: 6,391,730
Rating: 4.9610686 out of 5
Keywords: danny gonzalez, funny, commentary, comedy, hilarious, react, reaction, reacting, awful, faze kay, faze jarvis, jarvis, cringe, prison, 24 hours, 24 hour, manipulation, merch, most, jail, this, dude, went, to, because, you, won't
Id: Sh2tWaYElCc
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 20min 48sec (1248 seconds)
Published: Tue Jun 11 2019
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