- I have no idea where
this trick is going. (laughter) (Bell dinging) - It's try not to laugh time again. (Whooping) - Right you waited a whole
couple of weeks and we're back. And this time, Ify has joined the battle. (whooping) - I'm glad I've waited until
marriage to do this because I figure it's going to be more fulfilling, and I'm real excited for all my partners. (laughter) - It's going to get real crazy, and we're gonna have a really good time. And remember to hit
that notification bell. - And subscribe also because if you hit the notification
bell and you don't subscribe I don't think it works. I think someone comes
to your house and says hey you did a (bleep). - You can't do that. - Time to get in the forever box. - Oh boy (slurping sounds) (bleep) 2020 am I right? I was going to lick this, but I realize a lot of
the creeps on Reddit would screen cap that. - Hear ye hear ye we got
a hot take everybody! We got a hot take, we got a hot take, we got a hot hot hot take. A thousand years from now, the movie Paul Blart will be
a thousand eleven years old. (laughter) Hot take hot take we got another hot take! Hot take hot take hot take! If I could talk to animals
I'd tell them to eat the rich. (laughter) - Reading my own tweets. (laughter) - Hello Shane. You might not know who I
am, but I met a girl in poo, I'm just getting in with the kids. You know, the kids aren't
really connecting with my act. They say it's not horny enough, so it's time to tell
you a tale of the raven. (inaudible) The tap, tap, tapping
but it's only the ass that is clapping. (laughter) - I hope you're ready too, for the new CBS fall show, ghost (bleep). It's time to lay you, to rest. Get it, Lay. Just watch how he solves problems. - Please can you help
me find out who my dead husband was hiding from me? - (bleep) I would do this for free. (guitar playing) (inaudible) - Whoa, slow down, coach. I'm not like other gamers. Toss me the rock. Told you (bleep). Did I say gamer? I meant athlete, dammit. I'm not like other athletes. Why'd I say gamer! - I thought it was a choice. - No. - Yeah bitch dinosaurs are back! We switched the game up! We know where we went wrong last time. We weren't moist enough. I'm moistening up that neck, that neck is getting real moist. (inaudible) Damn that neck dry but I'll climb up. You know how hard that is for me, a T-rex my arms are small, but my hands are covered in lotion, and I'm getting all under. I'm just, you know what I'm saying? A T-Rex roll over, because that's what I do
to get under the surface. I'm like don't worry little buddy, I'm getting your little thick arm armpits, you ever seen them? It gets real dry in there, real flaky. It looks like a Tostito. You ever seen a Tostito? Because I meant to say Takis. (laughter) - Oh my God. - I have no idea where
this trick is going. (laughter) Oh, wait a second. - Oh my god! - No bit. (laughter) - All right, another
successful circumcision. Don't need this anymore. (laughter) - I'm a magical unicorn,
and I'm ready to play! Yeah that's right, I got some whiskey, I got some lotion, I got some black beans. - What are you going to do with that? - Maybe we can make a chili. - Whoa slow down Fluffy. I'm not like other cat ladies. (yelling) I just came. - We now return to kingdom hearts, reenacted by someone who's
never done kingdom hearts. - Darkness and light. - Oh my God maybe he's right! - I'm you. - What? - I look, I look just like you. - Oh my God. Isn't he right? - Yeah, he's right. - Well, I've got to, this is dark Donald, worse than all of them. - Donald! - To the heart of the kingdom as light, darkness' darkness. - Maybe he's right. The crystals! - There's no crystals in the game, Shane! So there's seven princesses of heart. - Is this still part of the bit? - No! - Everything's wrong! - This, this is a reenactment
of something Courtney legitimately did in a regular meeting. We were having a regular writers meeting, we were all sitting around,
we got our laptops out, We were in a small room and
this is something Courtney did. - I'll be right back, I'm
going to grab a drink. (scream) - Why did I do that? - I remember that! - Why did I do that? - This didn't happen! - This one hundred percent happened. - Hello, Courtney, is it? I'll be your sleep paralysis
demon for the night. - Oh my God! - Holy (bleep). - Are you sleeping yet? - No. - All right cool. - What do I owe you? - No it's free. You're going to get a call after, Give me, just hit the
number five on the call. (laughter) (drums playing) (squawking) - So this is Berkeley. (laughter) - By falling in love with me. You've released me from my prison. Will you accept this rose so i may transform back into my true self? She's done it. (inaudible) - I just want to
experiment with something. There we go. Okay let me just make
sure under the buttons, how do I fricken, okay okay yeah. (fast paced music) (laughter) - Yes I knew I didn't need men! (laughter) - We now return to high
school musical reenacted by someone who never actually
saw high school musical. - Hi, it's me, Troy
Bolton, and star athlete if ever there was one. Coach says to play play
play the basketball, you gotta play play play that basketball. But what if I want to do crimes? - I just want to kill,
for the feel all the time. I've never seen this movie. - Do you remember who I am? I'm your imaginary friend,
Mr. Numnum butters. I've got a few things to say to you. You remember when you were five, and said that i peed the bed not you? Who had to clean up the pee? It was me. Also you couldn't, you couldn't
imaginate any damn hands? You know how hard it is for me? I love opening jars, I can't open jars I haven't opened up a jar in months. You know, I'll just be
staring at peanut butter, I can't eat it, I'll just be staring at it Licking my lips, staring at it. And then they kicked
me out the Trader Joes. And I'm like is it illegal to
stare at some peanut butter and they say yeah because you look weird. And then I'm on the street, you know, asking people to open jars for me apparently it's weird for a man with the claw crab and
alien hand to ask for people to open up jars. You know what they did? They kicked me off the street. So I went down and I was like,
okay, I'm going to my place I'm to hide under the bridge. And there was already a troll there. He said, this is copyright infringement. Now I got a legal case. Five circuits of the Supreme
court to fight this legal case. All because you didn't
imaginate any hands for me. - I'm sorry. (laughter) - Tire pressure, tire rotation, oil change going with the synthetic. Well, let me check one
thing here really quick. You might want to get the
carbon filter replaced. Kevin filter. Sorry, my bad. And also if you want to get the, your brake fluid is getting kind of low. We can, we can do that
if you want it. Anyways. Hold on. That's your first sheet. Now we've got a whole second one here. I'm gonna check this real quick. Your car is cursed. And also I am a total hoe. (laughter) (clapping) - You did a great job. - And you did a great job
watching this good job. It's really hard sometimes
to stay here it can be hard. I know. You good? - Yeah it's just it's hot. - (all) whoa! - Anyways - Before we get demonetized
with too many nips, here's two videos here,
right here for you, only these two, nothing else is good. - It's been all this March videos. Can we just be safe, and put the small Cheryl's over his nips. - Yeah
That's some Ify looking content
Ify had me rolling on that recent Off Topic. I love that dude, hope to see more of him in the future.