(orchestral music) - [Narrator] Shut up. ♪ (murmurs) ♪ (laughing in background) ♪ Ridding a bike in my (murmurs) ♪ - No. In the back of your what? (murmurs) - Yeah. (cheering in excitement) - Yo everybody, welcome
to the 567th episode of try not to laugh. - Yeah. (clapping excitement) - Not to mention, we
do it every other week. So, were gonna like come out
with a million more this year. - Yeah. Can't stop, won't stop. - And we won't stop because
you guys love it so much. Do you guys love... We
enjoy doing it as well. - You know how these work. - You guys know how these work. Instead of the water this time, were gonna use the harmonica's because we don't wanna spread things. You know? - Except our legs. - Olivia, no. Before we get started guys, subscribe. And then, also tell your friends. - Tell your friends. - Your mama's, your daddy's,
your grandma's, your grandpa's and tell your cousins too, because we need your support. - Yes. - It shows a lot of support, it helps. - [Courtney] (murmurs)
Meanwhile, in the headquarters of the Academy of Weird Sounds. Doc, I don't know what the hell this is. There's something... Oh,
you're the Doc, sorry. I had no one to actually talk to. We have to figure this out. We need to take it sound by sound, before we release this to the world. It's the academy and we
have the responsibility. Sound A. (weird machine sounds) Sound B. (weird machine sounds) Sound C. (weird machine sounds) (bell dings) Sound D. (weird machine sounds) - Oh. (laughing in background) Sound E. (weird machine sounds) (laughing in background) - Oh my God. - It's to dangerous, we
can't go forward with this. - (murmurs) Ladies and
gentlemen, I'm the Lounge Squid. Thank you so much for coming out tonight. We got one person in the audience. Thanks so much for joining. (plays piano) Where you from friend? Florida? I'm sorry. (laughing in background)
(harmonia sound) (murmurs) You know, they
say were probably smarter than people think. I once found my way out of a jar. (laughing in background)
(harmonica sound) (murmurs) Now, I try to stay humble, that's humble squid for you. You know, they say we
communicate in the darkest parts of the ocean by flashing
our tentacles at each other. But, no one ever talks to me. (murmurs) (laughing in background) I'm Lounge Squid. Thank you very much. - Yeah. (clapping and cheering) - Ladies and gentlemen. (murmurs) - Hey, next up. - Hi, yeah. - Welcome to dress my
baby however you want. A salad, I mean, a bowl or a plate? - Let's do a bowl. - Yeah, great. - Yeah. - All right, give me your baby. - Sure. Here's my baby. (harmonica sound) - Okay. - Yeah. - Oil or vinegar? (bell dings) - Oil please. Thank you. - All right, nice. - Toss it in. (audience cheering) - Just wanna thank you guys, sorry. Wanna thank you guys for coming out today. I write music because
it's very personal to me. And I hate my dad. So, I just wanna sing to you a
song that I wrote for my dad. (bell dings)
(harmonica sound) - Anyway. ♪ Daddy. ♪ (audience cheering) ♪ Daddy would you like some sausage? ♪ ♪ Daddy would you like some sausages? ♪ ♪ Daddy would you like some sausage? ♪ ♪ A sausages, a sausages. ♪ ♪ I hate you dad and your sausage. ♪ ♪ I hate you dad. ♪ ♪ (beep) you. ♪ ♪ I hate you dad. ♪ ♪ What's going on? ♪ ♪ I don't know. ♪ ♪ This is for you dad. ♪ ♪ And I'll keep going if you
guys don't tell me to stop. ♪ ♪ I'll keep going if you
guys don't tell me to stop. ♪ (plays piano) (audience booing) ♪ I will never stop
talking about my dad. ♪ ♪ I will never stop
saying I hate you daddy. ♪ - Abrel, Abrel come back. Abrel. (mysterious music) - Close my windows, close my windows. No, mom. Yeah, I'm reading the bible. Yeah, from Genesis to Judas. Mom. (laughing in background) Yes, mom. I'll be ready for Sunday dinner. Okay, God. I'm just
getting ready in my room. Leave me alone. - [Man] That's so fun. Oh my. - Time to Hulk smash. - [Man] No. (bell dings)
(harmonica sound) (laughing in background) - [Jackie] Genesis. (laughing in background) - Toot, toot. I hear
it's somebody's birthday. I hear someone had a specific ass request for a buff little elf with a
little trumpet, toot, toot. All right, so here we go. Here we go. Oops, my shoulder's (murmurs) (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) (laughing in background) Is that doing anything for you? It's my first day. I can make the booty clap, if you like? - No. (murmurs) Let me go, I did it. - [Jackie] Okay little Sydney. Who's ready for mommy and me class? Are you ready? Okay. Oh, this is the one where you
just... Oh, were just gonna... Okay, do whatever the baby does. Okay. (laughing in background) (clapping) Okay, this is so good. Okay. All right. (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) (laughing in background) - [Woman] Whoa, whoa. - You just crushed your baby's head. - Oh my God, little baby. I'm the nanny, lets be real. (harmonica sound)
(laughing in background) Like, (beep) this (beep). Take this baby. - Oh boy. - Hey, how you doing? - I'm all right. - Yup, hold on a second. Hey, what you put in there. Good Lord, being a doctor is so hard. (laughing in background) (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) Lord Jesus. (harmonica sound) I think were good. - [Woman] Yeah. - [Courtney] Mom, shut up. Stop. Mom, shut up. Stop. Mom, stop. Shut up. Mom, I have to go to work. (soft music) Oh, getting a call. Welcome to City Bank. Please wait on this brief
hold, while we connect you. (plays saxophone) (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) You're call is very, very important to us. (laughing in background) Please wait. Why is this so hard to blow into? (laughing in background) - Hi, I had a beautiful,
spiritual day today. I'm feeling the energies flow through. I'm blonde Alanis Morissette. I just had to go with her. (laughing in background) She has brown hair. (harmonica sound) And I'm gonna sing her song today. I won't mention the name, for reasons we don't know. (murmurs) (laughing in background) (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) That was (beep) by Alanis Morissette. (audience cheering) (soft music) - Hi. (laughing in background) ♪ Now from the (murmurs)
make it (murmurs). ♪ ♪ With some wet (murmurs). ♪ (harmonica sounds)
(bell dings) ♪ Macaroni in a pie that's
some wet (murmurs). ♪ (harmonica sound) ♪ (murmurs). ♪ (laughing in background) ♪ (murmurs). ♪ ♪ (murmurs). ♪ (laughing in background) ♪ Ridding a bike in my (murmurs). ♪ - No. In the back of your what? - (murmurs). (laughing in background) (piano music) - Look I'm, no. I'm not gonna make a slavery joke. (harmonica sound) I'm not. (harmonica sound) I'm not. (harmonica sound) I told you, I'm not. (harmonica sound) - Get outta here. - I'm not. I'm the ghost of Christmas past. (laughing in background) - Now that's some slick show. (soft music) - Hi. I'm a big wittle baby and sometimes I like big, big milky. (laughing in background) - Ew. (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) - If you like big, big milky as well, call this number. Because I can't, I'm too
small to reach the number. (harmonica sound)
(laughing in background) Can you dial the phone to order me big, big milky, please? - Yes.
- Thank you. (laughing in background) I'm almost plumb dry on this one. Hi. I'm a big wittle baby and this is paid for by the (baby crying) wittle baby foundation.
(harmonica sound) I made it up. (laughing in background) Yum, yum. (audience clapping) - Good job (murmurs). - Oh okay. Oh. - This is break
(intense music) the chain 101. Are you chained up? Break the chain. (laughing in background)
(harmonica sound) Broken the chain. Nothing can tie me down. (harmonica sound) - What the (beep). - Hey, have we got good
vibes today, don't we? Yeah. I'm 18th centuary... What's her name? Alanis
- [Woman] Morissette. ♪ A witch. ♪ (laughing in background) ♪ (murmurs). ♪ - [Woman] Yeah. (harmonica sound)
- Hey. ♪ Witch. ♪ (laughing in background) (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) ♪ Thank you Keith for that one. ♪ (harmonica sound) ♪ I'll see you backstage. ♪ (laughing in background)
(clapping) (upbeat music) - Yeah. No, no, I got it. I got it. Go left, go left. Boom. Headshot. - [Woman] Honey, it's time for dinner. - Mom, shut the (beep) up. (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) - Hey, sorry. That was my girlfriend. (laughing in background) - It's so real, like, it hurts. (laughing in background) Oh my God. (upbeat music) Oh my God. (burps)
(murmurs) (burps) - Hoo, hoo. (harmonica sound)
(bells dings) (laughing in background) I'm old Courtney.
(harmonica sound) (laughing in background) - I like that. - I'm you last year. (harmonica sound) - When I was redheaded for five minutes. - (murmurs) Or any other
shout you wanna give. My name is Tex Avery, but not that one. And I'm here to show you how to fix your problems, day to day. How many times does this happen to you? (grunts) You're walking along, things are on the ground
and wanna tackle you, and you don't have very good flexibility. That's what I'm here for. Here's scenario number one. You're walking along, a
baby tries to mug you. (harmonica sounds)
(bell dings) (laughing in background) Scenario number two. You're walking along,
fish tries to mug you. (grunts) (harmonica sounds)
(laughing in background) Scenario number three. You're walking along,
lobster tries to mug you. Now, here's the twist, you gotta talk to it. Its having a rough day, it was not getting the
best (murmur) in life. And all it needs is a friend. But then.
(grunts) (laughing in background) That's right. I'm Tex
Avery, but not that one. (laughing in background)
(clapping) (grunts) - Oh my God. I was not expecting
the perfect aimed kick. (soft music) - Hey, kids and children. I'm Darren. And today I'm gonna show you
how to do things with a snake. This is my snake Peter. This is how you brush Peter's teeth. (brushing effect) Get far back in there to get his molars. (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) Darren... I'm Darren. Peter likes soup. (harmonica sound)
(laughing in background) Peter likes to drink milk. - Oh my God (murmurs) - Get in there, come on. - Oh my God. - Come on snaky. (laughing in background) All right, he's all full. The you gotta burp him. (burping sound) This is how you put handcuffs on a snake. (laughing in background) - [Woman] (murmurs) German (beep). - He is locked up. (laughing in background)
(harmonica sound) Thanks for watching kids.
- Bye. (audience clapping) - Oh my God. - [Tommy] 10,000`leagues below the sea, one spot lost to time. Finally, we have found the
lost city of Alanis Morissette. (laughing in background)
(harmonica sound) (audience cheering) - (beep). (clears throat)
(plays guitar) (gurgling sounds)
(harmonica sound) (laughing in background) - [Woman] Yes. - You outta know. - Tommy. (country music) - Welcome to the Sunny Side Inn, where everything is eggcellent. (laughing in background) I'm hard boiled, what are you? Would you like to try our special? It's an egg drop soup. (harmonica sound)
(laughing in background) All right. Ill be back in a
moment to take your order. (laughing in background)
(harmonica sound) - [Courtney] And next on your TikTok for you page at 3:00 AM. It's a marriage story in Simlish. - (murmurs)
- (murmurs) - Courtney. (laughing in background) - (murmurs)
- (murmurs) (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) (laughing) - You're luck that's
the one scene I've seen. - I know. No one has seen marriage story, but everyone knows this scene. (mysterious music) - Oh, my precious. Have you seen a witch around? Have you seen a witch? Have you seen a witch?
I haven't seen a witch. Someone was looking for
a witch in the town. (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) We're looking for a witch in the town. Oh my God. What big hands you have. And what nice knees you have. - [Woman] Oh my God, it's
a witch. It's a witch. - Witch, witch. Who you calling a bitch? (harmonica sound) - [Woman] I said a witch, I'm sorry. - Oh, I'm sorry. It's not a witch. (farting sound) That was not my ass. (harmonica sound)
(laughing in background) (soft music) - This is a reenactment of how
I came out to my mom and dad. (laughing in background) Mom, dad. There's
something I gotta tell you. This is legitimate, how I did it. (piano music) I'm your son. I'm gay and if
you have a problem with that. (murmurs) And then my parents went, "So, why are you yelling?" (laughing in background) Could've sat us down, had a conversation. Oops. (harmonica sound)
(laughing in background) Oops. Ooh. Love you mom. Woo. - Oh, were just going? (laughing in background) - [Man] Every time. - Oh, sorry. - [Damien] No it's okay. - I should've warned you. - No. - Well. (sighs) (soft music) Hey, would you like to
get your flu shot today? That's a yes. All right. Hold on. Just one moment. Just cleaning the spot. Don't worry, it's not gonna hurt at all. (weird machine sounds) (laughing in background)
(harmonica sound) - (murmurs) Not in my top 10 sounds for that to probably have. (weird machine sounds) (laughing in background) - What are we gonna do? - I don't know. What if this
sound gets in the wrong hands of an evil person. What are we gonna do? - I have no idea. I'm just an intern. - I know me too.
(laughing in background) Obviously I'm more responsible and I care more about
the academy (murmurs). (evil laughing) - You thought you had
this locked away, huh? Well, no sorry. I'm gonna get you all for what you did to me (murmurs). - Please, we're just two interns. - This is my thing, I
know what's coming next. Can I just please hold my nose first? - [Sophie] Please. - Hold your nose? Okay. - I'm still a virgin. (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) I don't want to die today. - You know that virgins die.
Oh wait, they don't die. Nevermind, I don't care. (laughing in background)
(harmonica sound) - I'll never have intercourse
with a (murmurs) again. (laughing in background) - No, no. - I've gone mad with power. - No, the (murmurs)
God has not let me die. I'm back. (murmurs) - I'm meant to have sex in my life. I cannot die without it. (soft music) - I'm Goldilocks. (laughing in background) And, here we go. Too big. Just right. (laughing in background) Whoa, what's that sound? (laughing in background) (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) - Wait, what? (laughing in background) What? - Oh no, there's an intruder
in the Gryffindor common room. I Neville Longbottom
have a chance to shine. Stop intruder, or ill have to use. Oh, oh. Well, that's not a wand. Gimme a minute. Hold on, I got my wand here somewhere. Oh, oh. (murmurs) Oh, no. (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) Oh nuts. Oh, I can't do nothing right. Oh man. Oh hold on, lemme try
to grab my wand again. It's gonna be one this time. Oh, oh. (laughing) Guess I have to stop you
with the power of song. Oh, oh.
(harmonica sound) - Please (murmurs)
- I (beep) myself. (laughing in background) Oh, nuts Neville. You're not gonna be good for another few months. - Aww. - Nuts, I can't do nothing right. (piano music) - I cannot with your laugh. (coughing) - I'm not gon do it. No, no, no, no ,no. (harmonica sounds)
(bell dings) I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna make a joke about slavery because, obviously I'm white. And white people can't do that no more. (laughing in background) Like, I'm not gonna do it. I'm just confused about
who I am right now. Yeah. White guilt, white guilt,
white guilt, white guilt. (laughing in background) - [Woman] Oh my God. (upbeat music) - Times like these are uncertain. We're all scared and we all have to wear our masks. But, thanks to me, Mrs. Wig. I have the newest, hottest, sexiest thing you can wear on your face. One moment please. ♪ A, one, two, three. ♪ ♪ A four, five moments. ♪ ♪ A moment three is just another moment. ♪ (harmonica sound) ♪ It won't stay on. ♪ ♪ Just give me a moment. ♪ And here we are. Pretty easy. (harmonica sound)
(bell dings) (background laughing) Pretty great. So, now you can show
everyone just how full your face of hair is. (audience clapping) Hi. Now, can you...Do you want...No kiss? No kiss, okay. All right. Well, then all right. (laughing in background)
(clapping) - [Woman] Yeah. (audience cheering) (obnoxious laughing) - Isn't laughing so great. - Yeah. - If you wanna laugh more with us and see each other laugh with each other. - Yeah. - Click those videos-
- Yeah. - ... Right there and right there. - Yeah. - Because we'll be laughing. - Yeah, yeah. We will. - We will be laughing. - Chances are we laugh at
least three times per video. - Remember please, I want you guys to be a part of our lives, so subscribe. - You know what? You guys already are but we need more of you
guys. So, tell your cousins. - Join the Smosh Army.
