u tryed to be tough but your stat tracks not good lel How's it going everyone, it's your boi, Disney villain not, good Disney villain, we're talking, uh, straight to DVD sequel Disney villain like that fucking mask from, uh, Beauty and The Beast 2. Remember that? [in clip] Wow! Would you look at that? Well, I think I might, I'll just pick myself up and -- oh, whats this? Oh, heavens look! I'm bolted to the wall! [mask goes insane) Now, I'm having quite a problem pleasing my audience at the moment. A lot of people that complain, 'Too many commentary videos', 'too many trending topics.' 'Do more gaming videos.' I do more gaming videos and then people complain, I'm turning into a fucking let's play channel This, this ain't Kwebbelkop, kids Look kids, I tried to subtitle it, way too hard Although, to be fair I do a pretty good Kwebbelkop impersonation [clears his throat like every other person ever before they do a impersonation] [nuclear bombs go off] So, today, we're talking about shit. I'm here with my gay mask a fake yeezy t-shirt I bought for about ten quid We're ready to talk about shit you don't care about. Quite recently, I've set up a suggestion tab on the Pyrocynical subreddit. Be sure to go take a look at it, suggest what you want. Please suggest actual stuff, you actually won't believe how many ten-year-old kids posting their mate uploading a Minecraft video, asking me to roast them I'm not gonna roast them, can you please fucking stop? [ten-year-old voice] My friend made a let's play when he was ten, plllleease roast him! What if I put this on would that work? [hell yes i love the communist hat] Awh, it's like a gay, a gay Russian dancer now. [russian accent] Yo, what is up, my name is Ivan, I am here to, uh, kidnap all your children, curfew is at seven p.m. [normal] So today, we've got a meme of a YouTube family. God, d-don't you just fucking love them vlogging families on YouTube? Well, today, we've got a whole family of them. uh, uh, and to say they are dysfunctional, would be quite an understatement. [in video] Guy: You're cleaning it. Kid: No, I'm not! Guy: You're cleaning it. Kid: NO I'M NOT The channel's called, DaddyFiveO, just a typical vlogger family, doing vlogger things [under desk] You all know what he is, he's a big channel. Do you just wish you were like, a Disney villain? Did you think Disney villains pay taxes? So, without further a do, let's watch this video, let's, let's get into it, let's, let's fucking watch it, yeah? W-watch, subscribe [in video, tv is playing in the back] Look at 'em. We're going back to the citadel [the great fire of cringe] I-I don't like YouTube, ah, I don't wanna do Youtube Like I'm just gonna leave YouTube, alright? I'm sick of this, y-you'll be fine I'm sure there's some commentary channel talkin' about BuzzFeed again or some cancer. You'll be fine, trust me. I'll get replaced within the hour. I ain't talkin' about Minecraft again! What I really don't like is, Minecraft seems to follow me, through every-every single video I make. Minecraft, seems to follow me, like a fffucking disease. I played Minecraft, once, one time, one time unironically. About two years ago. And now this fucking game, stalks me, everything I do. I could be playing Dark Souls and there's some cunt in the game called Herobrine and now this. Notch, if-if you could buy Minecraft, back from Microsoft and fucking burn it. I'd appreciate that 'Cuz this thing is stalking me. You guys, you guys remember Bioshock? Remember the Big Daddy from Bioshock? Ah, dude his ass is so small, what the fuck? This boi ain't even thicc, fucking get him out of here. There's two things I've never seen thicc art of, I've- and that's Zerg from Toy Story and the-the Big Daddy from Bioshock. I-I would love that, but no one wants it. [in clip] Guy: Look what I sent for Cody I said, 'Hey baby' for Cody. So let's go and share this video. [laughing sound effect mixed with the video] That's a real throwback to them Minecraft trolling days, you know when you message someone sayin, 'Hey baby.' And nothing else, and the video would get like.. 12 views. Did God invent the clitoris? I just opened Minecraft, and one of my preset skins is Foxy the Pirate. Aaagh, the mask is going back on. I can't face the internet at the moment. ah, nononono. [weeb voice] Hey guy's FoxyGamer98 here, t-today we'll be playing Minecraft. We'll be building our house of out birch wood! Not oak wood! Boy, I'm so original! [voice crack?] Waaater I will whoop your little candy ass. [naruto run] Hey, fruit cup Don't throw the water at me, the father figure, but your brother? You soak his fucking ass, until he drowns. You do what you want with him, but you don't interrupt me while I'm watchin my Family Guy. Hey, fruit cup You're probably wondering what happens next. Boy walks in, throws a bit of water on the other boy. Is he gonna tell him to stop? Is he gonna call him naughty? Is he gonna tell his parents? No, not quite I aint stopin' Ahh RIP in RIP fruit cup (rip family channels) [Fatality] To be honest I think the kid is quite a pussy I think he should've just shot him [In clip] What the fuck is going on Ah! David it looks like you've gotten some H2O on my new pair of Timbs Cocking Water Gun [Thanks Apple] [Very Threateningly] You have five seconds I wish this gun was like actually colored like a real one not blue Uh, having a real gun would really boost my confidence [Pyro none of us would trust you with a real gun] [In clip] Let me see that Stop, I'm doing something [Interrupting] No, I don't give a shit, this is -- (Interrupted by egg exploding) (Small BatMan walks in) I didn't even have the camera on you, Cody I love and despise this dad at the same time The way he treats his kids is kinda like a caricature Li- Like it's Bob's Burgers or some shit (quietly) Did I just make a Bob's Burgers reference? (whispering) fucking... kill myse- He doesn't care that his child just got egged. He cares more about the fact it wasn't caught on camera ...for epic family vlog moments. So... so he could stick them in the thumbnail ...You probably took him outside and told him he was a fucking dissapointment [Pyro imitating dad] "Billy Joe, I'm just gonna tell you right now How dare you torment and abuse your brother without me capturing it on this here camcorder?" [In the clip] He just put it-... ... [kid shouting] no! [dad shouting] NO! GET OUT OF MY CHAIR (kid whining) [Dad] Ay, that's enough. [Pyro imitating dad] "Billy Joe, if you gonna shoot your little brother ...at least take him outside Don't do it on ma' couch! Not in ma' house!" What I usually hate about vlogger families is the forced happiness they portrait, pretending like everything's good ...when they all probably have crippling depression and alcohol poisoning [In the clip] Good morning everybody and welcome to Miami! But even though this family seems like a mess, straight-up, they've been honest. They just- throwing punches, throwing each other off the couch The dad- he doesn't even wanna break up the fight, h-he just wants his fucking couch back. [In the clip] NO! GET OUT OF MY CHAIR! A part of me wants to say, "Why the fuck did you upload this" but another part says, "Congratulations, for standing out from the rest." Y-You probably still have alcohol poisoning though [My name is Jeff] You know in Fallout: New Vegas when you get shot in the face And you live, you think like, Vsauce should try that? N-not Vsauce Michael though, we need someone expendable uhh, Vsauce Seven? Ha, I'm pretty sure it only goes to three, but we'll find people. Hey, Vsauce, Mehmet here. Today, I'm gonna shoot myself in the fucking head, The video is about a half an hour long, it just repeats this kid crying, kid being thrown by other child Dad, does not help or intervene until the very last moment, Usually just sayin' how he-he farted or some shit like that [Dad] WHAT THE FUCK? FUCKING EGG EVERYWHERE [look at the girl's face right here omg] Let's get that shit cleaned up now, clean that fucking shit up! (??) on the wall, I mean we're fucking around with eggs we might as well get the shit on video, right? What the fuck? All over the fucking wall! Get the egg down from the fucking stairs, now Guy: Good luck. Kid: YOU'RE CLEANING IT UP Guy: Good luck. It's funny as well, because this video is old as fuck, it came out in April last year. It's nearly a year old, for some reason it's now got a lot more views. It's appearing in everyone's recommended, all the top comments are from like, a week ago or something, usually, uh: commenting their opinion on the family. Anyways, thanks a lot for watching guys, be sure to drop a like if you enjoyed this, saw trap of an experience Also, like I said at the start, I've got a subreddit, you can leave suggestions, all that kind of stuff. It's very good, so be sure to visit that; suggest, post, comment, anything like that because my Twitter's been suspended pretty much indefinitely. Reddit is probably gonna be the majority from now on. Thanks a lot for watching guys, [Dad] Oh my God, hold this, hold this [DAD GENUINELY FARTS IN HIS KID'S FACE] [Dad laughs like a piece of shit he is] [Mom(?)] Really? I'm not doing them (?)! [you are an awful father] [Dad] Oh my God, I'm gonna shit myself just now, just pushin' that damn thing out [Pyro's gucci ass ending theme, kill me for using the word gucci please] [Did y'all have a good day, today? I hope so, I bet you're all wonderful.] Now I'm ready to suck some- [dick, obviously dick, also Pyro you look fucking gorgeous, I would smash 100%]
Just noticed that Twitter is in the description, ok mate, that's useful
hello yes child protective services?
That video was just depressing.
Like my family was dysfunctional growing up, and we look normal compared to thay shit.
Ten minutes. And Three. Goddamn. Seconds.
Best video in a while.
good video bro
What a stupid fucking video. The parents just don't give a single fuck that their kids are being complete assholes and the dad only cares about what he captures on camera so he can get that extra $
To be fair, I wouldn't be surprised if this was staged.
The bit at the end with the dad farting in his kid's face is going to give me nightmares, I garantee it
wew