THE PSYCHOLOGICAL PROCESS OF TRANSITIONING OUT OF A NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIP by RC BLAKES

good evening good evening good evening good evening this is our se Blake's and I am coming to you live tonight there's something that has been on my my heart my mind all day to day actually that I would like to discuss with you hopefully my connection is good hopefully my connection is good I want to talk about understanding the psychological transition out of a narcissistic relationship and the reason I am the reason I'm dealing with this tonight is because I get so many emails and if I've not answered your email please be patient with me I get a lot and it's it's sometimes impossible almost to actually read them all and answer them all that's why I ask you to try to make your your emails as brief as possible but back to my point I get a lot of email relative to people who are male and female alike actually people who are coming out of they've made this step to actually disconnect from this narcissist or narcissistic person and they're putting they've made the decision to put the distance between the two of them but then they discover after they've made this move this bold and necessary move to put that distance between them and the abuser they discover that there's still a a process a traumatic psychological process to actually disconnect internally yeah I think that's a good way of saying it you know you you you get to the point where you're fed up you realize that life has better for you you realize that you deserve thank you you realize that you deserve better than this but then once you make that move and you know you the adrenaline is flowing and you you know you have your confidence and you you're doing this and your mind is made up and you've made the move and you know day or two or maybe a week has gone by and you realize that there's still a fight within you there's there's like this conflict within you one part of your your brain understands clearly that this person was demonic this person was never intended to be in your life this person has done nothing but break you down but then there's another part of you that's almost like it's it's longing for and there's like this this grieving thing going on for a person that almost killed you if if they didn't actually try to kill you and yet you're grieving for them you want them you know part of you wants them but then there's this other party that says no way and so you're fighting you know you're fighting within your own with your own mind and the Bible calls it spiritual warfare spiritual warfare and that's when you have this struggle between what you know is right doing what you know is right going in a righteous direction going in God's in you know in the direction of God's will for you versus this other polar opposite energy pulling you into the things that you just escaped it's like you know it's like you're you're longing for your it's like you're longing for your misery to return and a lot of times when people don't understand what what I'm going to explain to you tonight and let me say this again as I always do I'm no psychologist I'm no therapist I'm no counselor I'm a pastor and I'm a man and I share my heart as I see it these are my opinions you know if you're struggling with certain things find one that is certified and qualified to speak to deep psychic psychological issues my perspective is large it is spiritual and and it's it's its life experience you know so don't get it don't get it twisted don't you know I'm not misrepresenting myself but the transition out of a narcissistic relationship is really the quest for self rediscovery it's the quest for self rediscovery one one is when you've when you've been locked down in in in a narcissistic relationship been the victim of narcissistic abuse what happens is one loses him or herself and there's this this quest this search for one's personal identity and there's also this search for this quest for the regaining of one's balance Sabet a-- i think i said that right thank you you know it's it's like when you've gone through when you've gone through one of these kinds of relationships it's in his the is the visual that the holy spirit gave me as I was pondering talking about this the Holy Spirit said it's like someone taking you and imaginisce when you when you're coming out of a narcissistic relationship it's like someone taking you and spinning spinning you around as fast as they you know can spin you for a very long time and then suddenly you break free from them but then they ask you a life will ask of you to walk this straight line what can you imagine you know how dizzy you equilibrium will be off how dizzy you would be so there's this process after you've broken free from this person there's this process that takes some time for you to regain your balance for you to regain your equilibrium and the you know that's one of the things I want to say to you because so many of you say well in the emails why is this my ache I think it is I hope I'm saying these names right thank you why is why is it that you know I'm struggling you know I I just I did this all right I broke this off and I've moved on and I know it's the right thing to do but why am I feeling all of this you know all of this energy pulling me in the wrong direction why do I have these these confusing and conflicting thoughts in my head well you know you stop the spinning but now you have to allow the process to work its way out or work its way through so that you can you know you can dispel of the dizziness that this whole ride has caused you if that's making sense to you now there are four things that I want to say to you that that play into why it's so difficult to transition out of a narcissistic relationship number one is that when you've when you've been in a when you've been in when you've been the victim of narcissistic abuse for any length of time there's this physiological connection you know when you can make up in your mind I don't want this no more I'm done with you and you finally get this person out of your life and they're gone in most cases you know that relationship was sexual in most cases now all you know narcissistic abuse is not necessarily sexual relationships but in a lot of cases in most cases it does involve sex and the thing you you fail to factor into the equation you've done the right thing but the thing you fail to factor into the equation is that when you when you strut when you think you RiRi when you made up your mind to get rid of this person you were effectively breaking a soul time and what's the soul time a soul tie Ricky Wilson thank you I think you emailed me I think you did if you did email me again I think you did you're breaking a soul tie and a soul tie is where you've engaged in a relationship that was never our deigned by God of God was never healthy for you but consumes you entire to up mentally to the point that when you came to your senses and realize that you needed to move on and go in a different direction your body left but your soul was still tied so this person still has a grip on your mind your will your emotions whenever you you talk about the soul from a biblical perspective you're talking about the mind the will and the emotion so you're physically gone you're physically separated but your mind your thoughts are there you will and you know your emotions are still there and so this person can still manipulate you and because this person is so engrained in your soul there's a physiological response to the separation there's a physiological response it's a weird kind of demonic power that comes upon one that makes you feel like a part of you has gone even though this was never sent by God was never ordained of God was never supposed to be in your life physiologically you're hurting especially when that relationship was a sexual because your body it's you know your body and you're your carnal mind should I say has like memory muscle for lack of another way of saying that and and there's a norm thought was dysfunctional what was dysfunctional thank you Kayla there was a norm that you developed there was a normal see that you you derived from that abuse from that abusive relationship and when your when your right mind says you got to break this off you got to move on with your life there's another part of you that still longs for that that norm that you that that normal that you created with this person though it was you know though it did not benefit you mieka I think I said that right thank you there's a part of you that's longing for it you know and though you're trying to create a new norm a new normalcy there's this part in you that's still longing that so Ty's still longing for aches for even what that person provided owner on a lustful sensual level physical level they did nothing for you spiritually not positively they did nothing for you emote you know emotionally in terms of your development or health but physiologically your body in your your flesh nature still longs for that person and you find yourself struggling find yourself struggling because there's a so tie and the Bible says in 1st Corinthians 6 15 through 17 know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ shall I then take the members of Christ and make them the members of an harlot prostitute the whoremonger you know a player whatever you want to put there god forbid what no you're not that he which is joined to an harlot you know a prostitute a loose man a loose woman you know a [ __ ] which is not you know it's it doesn't only indicate female they're male [ __ ] as well are you gonna join yourself to a [ __ ] he says he says he that he that he which is joined to a [ __ ] his one body for two saith he shall be one flesh in other words there's this demonic marriage this there's this demonic marriage when you create this relationship that God didn't ordain there's this joining of the two that when you separate it's like you have to it's it's it's the intricacy of almost like separating a tumor from one's brain you know there there's a lot that you have to move around to do this thing carefully and and so there's this physiological thing that happens that you you're longing for this person that tried to kill you now there are few practical things that I would say to you under under point one you know understanding one of the psychological challenges will be physiological number one you have to embrace the pain thank you Anna you have to embrace the pain of cleansing and disconnect it it hurts it hurts to disconnect it really does especially when you had all of the right intentions because and here's the thing you have to understand this is this is to help you realize that you're not crazy the reason it hurts so bad is because when you entered into the relationship you entered into the relationship with all of the best intentions you want it to be the best you could be for them for him or for her you wanted to to give of yourself you didn't know that you were entering into not a relationship but uh what's the word a contract for lack of another term Thank You Jeanette some kind of demonic contract where this person would not embrace you but what would use you and drain you and abuse you so you entered in with these high ideals so when all of this comes crumbling and you finally wake up and you realize I got to get out of this you know there's a part of you that that hurts because you had such great hope for this thing and you invested so much in it you know it's it's like okay so number one embrace the pain you know it's gonna hurt let me tell you that right now if you if you email let me trying to ask me how to make it not hurt it's going to hurt you have to accept that you have to lean into that you have to embrace that this is going to hurt to pull away from this as crazy as it may seem as demonic as this person was it may it may feel like you know I'm losing my mind you even have these challenges it's going to hurt embrace the pain number two you have to preoccupy your life with purpose when you're in that thing where you feel in that soul time you're trying to break that soul tie lean into it embrace the pain of it number to preoccupy your life with purpose find the thing that you were put on this planet to do as an individual now the worst thing you can do when you're when you're breaking free from a [Music] what is it in a narcissistic relationship or any kind of toxic relationship is to immediately try to replace that person with another person you're not you're not whole enough you're not even clear enough to even think about another relationship you need to embrace the pain you need to preoccupy your life with purpose all of this these are sub points on the point number one the physical physiological pain of it and then you have to intentionally intensify your spiritual life you have to intentionally intensify your spiritual life whatever that looks like for you for all of us that's a different thing I'm a Christian you know so Jesus you know Honorine thank you Jesus does it for me I promise you you know you you want my opinion you got you got to turn your heart to the Lord Jesus Christ now you got all kinds of people on here with all the all kinds of ideas but I'll say this to you you have to intentionally intensify your spiritual life whatever that means to you you have to plug into God you have to plug into God because it's going to take the power of God for you to finish the thing that you've started because in a lot of instances this thing is so demonic and so diabolical you don't have the power within yourself to do this solely on your own and you're going to have to maybe for the first time in your life really find a connection to God in whatever way you have to do that you know because there's going to be this thing within you within your you know your physical body that's going to be like pulling you in the Bible says in Galatians 5:16 and 17 says this I say then walk in the spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh for the flesh lusteth against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh and these are contrary the one to the other so that you cannot do the things that you would what are you saying that basically is when your flesh is out of control and your flesh is pulling you down into the pit you have to pump up your spirit life because your spirit man wars against your flesh man and it's your flesh man that's retaining all of this negative energy that's pulling you back to this person that you know you got to be free from so you need to he says walk in the spirit walk in the spirit now number two number one we said it the the the challenge would be physiological understanding the the psychological transition from a narcissistic relationship why is this so hard for me to get this person off my brain it's physiological you're feeling something in your body pulling you number two it's social when you've been in a relationship with a narcissist there are tentacles that feed into your your common social circle be a church be it friends be it families be it you know workplace wherever whatever you know they're there these social tentacles where you have so many people that have identified you as being with him or you being with her and so now when you make the break everywhere you turn it's like well you know where's Lisa it's like me it's like me trying to get rid of Lisa and you know I need I need out of my life she just you know she's a narc and she's dragging me down and she got to go and I find to get out and every time I come on here y'all asking where's Lisa everywhere I go where is Lisa tell me about Lisa how is Lisa doing how's Lisa doing and so there's this social thing that won't let you escape you know there's this this social pressure and then what happens is now listen to this very carefully another thing that happens is the narcissist actually and I need to study this more thank you doneto the narcissist narcissist that you that you've broken from actually develops our relationship with people that are common to the two of you that will come into your life and either knowingly or ignorantly be used by the narcissist to to keep your mind focused on him or her I think I think the psychologists call this particular maneuver flying monkeys it's where then the narc sends people into your life to keep him or her on your mind and to keep your mind and to keep your life all tied up you utilizing people who have access and so because you all shared a social circle that very circle many times becomes the source of your contaminate this is why a lot of times when you're breaking from a narcissist sometimes it requires unfortunately sometimes it requires creating an entire new circle an entire new circle some of you on here right now can testify that you know your attempt to break from this person was stymied or hindered because of the people that you all had in common and either they put you know they drug you into a situation where the person would be or they're transferring messages from the person to you you know just all kind of stuff for this sharing this the person's stuff on your social media page when you trying not to see any of this stuff at all you know it's it's it's real the social situation and the Bible says in Romans 14 and 13 let us not therefore judge one another anymore but Judge this rather that no man put a stumbling-block or an occasion to fall in his brothers way so those of you that are watching this right now you know when a person says to you you know so it you know so-and-so and I are done you know please don't put me in in any situation that would involve this person don't mention this person to me don't mention me to them you you need to respect that you need to respect that you don't you don't need to feel like you can fix the relationship that's not your call to fix the relationship if somebody that's in your circle that you love or care about says to you we're done you need to leave that alone unless they come to you and say well what do you think do you know can you counsel us or something like that if you're capable or qualified to do that but hear a few things that you need to do when when the pressure comes from the social aspect number one establish your individuality in your circle and going back to what I just said when you've made the choice to move forward with your life without this person one of the very first things you're going to have to do is talk to the people in your circle don't try to hide it don't be ashamed of it that you you know you're low ideal relationship did not really work out did not pan out an ain't no time to be shamed it's time to be upfront and it's time to be blunt you need to tell everybody involved from friends and family listen me and so-and-so are done if you if you and I are gonna maintain any kind of connection or relationship you you do not mention this person to me do not bring this person anywhere I'm going to be don and don't invite me to be anywhere you know they're gonna be because this person and I are no longer together and you have to firmly establish your individuality within your circle now the challenge is going to be to find the circle that's going to be respectful enough to honor your wishes because sometimes people you know sincerely but ignorantly really feel like you know they think y'all just the ideal couple and they don't want to see you all they don't know what this person is behind the scenes they have you know they have the lights camera action version of the person they don't know the demon that this person is you know when the lights and the cameras are off and so they feel like you know it's just a shame you know broken up so I'm gonna work i'ma work to put them back together and so this is why sometimes it becomes a challenge to maintain the same circle after you have gotten rid of a person that that is a narcissist the second thing I would say under the social challenge is that you have to detox your mind from the illusion of the two of you you have to you have to detox your mind from the illusion of the two of you going back to what I just say it there's no time to be shame and all of that detox your mind it ain't what you thought it was it never was what you thought it was you're human you made a mistake except that in detox your brain from you know just the illusion of the ideal you know this person was going to be my everything not not absolutely not so just kind of you know get get that clean your brain stop stop troubling yourself stop tripping over that and then you create new circles and you create a new normal you create new circles and you create a new normal you create new circles and you create a new normal now the only way and I'll say this the only way you can create a new normal is that you have to you have to move forward you have to forgive and you have to move forward that's what unforgiveness does that's the thing nobody ever tells you is that when you hold on to bitterness and unforgiveness for this person what it's effectively doing to you is it is at hearing you cementing you even to that person unforgiveness is a is a is a psychological and spiritual and maybe even a physiological lock that ties you to the very person you're trying to be free from when you forgive it's not about releasing them it's about releasing you and when you release you you're now free to do what move forward and to create new circles and in new normal you're not you're not grieving the old normal you're not grieving you know like somebody died you're grieving what you thought was going to be you're grieving the lost ideal you I'm done and let everybody know I'm done and anybody that doesn't respect that they don't have a right to be in your circle anymore because this is about your health this is about your emotional psychological and probably physical health longevity and quality of life and anybody that won't respect that in your social circle should not have a place then then you have to understand point number three challenge number one is physiological challenge number two is social these are the things that you're dealing with as you transition out of a narcissistic relationship and you're trying to figure out why am i why am I going through this I feel like I'm going crazy you're not going crazy you're going you're going through a normal and necessary process to detox your life from a person that was poisonous anybody that has ever dealt with a relationship with any kind of toxic person has to go through these steps you know there's there's the physiological there's the social component then there's the spiritual now listen to there's there's the spiritual and a lot of times you know we say I just don't understand why the relationship has had such a profound such a deep effect on my life and that's because many of you have not considered the spiritual component and you know some of y'all say well I don't believe in God and if you don't believe in God you don't believe in the demonic and you don't believe in the devil and all of that and yet you see a world where all of this inhumane behavior is being performed by so-called human beings I mean is that the human spirit our human beings actually capable of going solo unless there is a supernatural extremely negative anti God power working in them I think when you look at the world you have to conclude that a lot of these people have to be demonic there has to be the human spirit think about a normal well-adjusted human being is not capable of doing some of the things that these people do to people on a regular basis you've not considered the spiritual component and there's a demonic empowerment there's a demonic force behind this that is working behind the scenes to keep your heart hooked and locked to the very thing that is destroying you and listen to what the Bible says in Romans 7 verses 20 through 25 and this is the message by the version listen to what the writer says he says my decisions such as they are don't result in actions I I want to do what's right but I never seem to actually do what I want to do something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time it happens he says he says it happens so regularly that it's predictable the moment I decide to do good sin is there to trip me up I truly delight in God's commands but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight parts of me covertly rebelled and just when I least expected they take charge I tried everything and nothing helps I'm at the end of my rope is there no one who can do anything for me isn't that the real question the answer thank God is that Jesus Christ can and does he acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different there's there's the sin there's that there's the the satanic and and demonic power that is behind the scene in all of our lives working in our flesh to pull us away from what we know in our right minds is the right thing to do in the right direction to go in and all of us have this struggle I don't care what your title is I don't care you know you may be a pastor bishop apostle or prophet whatever all of us have that struggle right there and when you are trying to break free from a relationship that was not ordained of God I promise you you're going to have the spiritual component where the power of sin is going to be working behind the scene to pull you back into the grips of that thing now to break free here relative to the spiritual the spiritual challenge of transitioning out of the the narcissistic relationship or the toxic relationship this will require an intentional focus on God we kind of mentioned that just a minute ago this will require an intentional focus on God listen to what the Bible says in James 4 and 7 he says thank you Eleanor he says submit yourselves therefore to God resist the devil and he will flee from you and that's a very short and simple verse he says submit yourselves therefore to God resist the devil and he will flee from you submit yourselves therefore to God resist the devil and he will flee from you you resist the devil by submitting to God so you know right where you are wherever you are in the world it's as simple as it's as simple as number one you have to dispel all of the myths of religion that somehow God hates you that's a lie God loves you you know you club you drink you smoke or whatever you do you know so God wants nothing to do with you God wants everything to do with you and God loves you just like you our God accepts you just like you are not a beauty is that when you come to him and you submit to him he won't leave you like you are but it doesn't matter who you are wherever you are in life or the world if you can just come to the conclusion that God loves me and he wants to help me and you call on him and I mean you know there's there's no religious language like you know vo bow and father God daughter you know whatever would have none of them I was like hey you know I'm hurting they tell me you real I need I need I need some help I'm struggling with this in my spirit and you know there's a power that's greater than me I need you to help me and you know what God will do he will make himself real to you because there's a very real spiritual power behind this bondage that you're experiencing and it requires that you submit to that you depend and that you lean on him somebody's coming in my house James I gave you James four and seven now let me get two points under that for the spiritual challenge when he says you know submit yourselves therefore the God resist the devil he'll flee from you meditate a meditation is imperative biblical let's put it that way biblical meditation is imperative when you read the Bible the Bible talks quite a lot about meditating and meditating is taking the Word of God the promises of God and focusing your mind on everything God said that's that's the way I meditate I focus I focus my mind on everything God has said and I keep my mind trained on the things I got no watch does my mind tries to veer away and then when I recognize it I bring it right back to what God says when I would say things that don't agree with what God says I correct myself and I changed my language not when I find my thoughts going in I pull my thoughts back in that meditate now what meditation does is meditation exposes the soul when you meditate it exposes your soul when you quiet your mind and you quiet your world and you really truly focus on God what it does is it quiets your or it exposes your soul you begin to learn things about yourself that you never recognized for all of the noise of a busy life that you know was confused by all kinds of influences when you begin to meditate you begin to see yourself you begin to see your weaknesses and you to experience God you begin to experience God in a very real and powerful way like some of you right now who have come out of narcissistic relationships and the spirit of anxiety seems to just settle upon you and you just you just you just always on edge if I can get you to cut the phone off cut the television off and just sit just sit and just talk to God like you're talking to a therapist tell him everything that you're feeling you're gonna discover that the peace of God the power of God that you hear a lot of folks talk about it'll become real to you you'd be anointing we hear a lot about the anointing well the anointing will become real to you you will feel God set upon your life and lift all of that and some of you even now as I'm speaking you're feeling that that weight of heaviness and anxiety you're feeling it lifts up off of you it's because God is confirming what I'm saying God is calling you into an intimate and personal relationship with him because what you're trying to accomplish a lot of it is spiritual warfare and you need the involvement of God so meditation is imperative because it exposes the soul and then prayer invites the Spirit of God to take charge we've talked about it and then finally there's this emotional component you know and you start talking about transitioning out of a narcissistic relationship challenges first challenge is physiological then it would be a social challenge and then there's this spiritual challenge and then there's this emotional challenge and it's an emotional challenge for some of the reasons that I mentioned just a little while ago it's an emotional challenge because it's like the crumbling of your world it's like the crumbling of your world it's like everything that you you know we're building for everything that you hoped for has crumbled and though you've come to the reality that it's just not going to work it's still very what emotional and it leaves you in an emotional state and the Bible says in Proverbs 13 and 12 this is the message version it says unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick and in the King James Version it would read like this Hope deferred makes the heart sick so when when you have when you have been let down and disappointed it leaves your heart it leaves your soul broken which is what very emotional very emotional so watch this you have to accept the fact that you know you're being emotional is normal you're being emotional about this is normal you can't read into that as though you know something's wrong with you because you're so emotional about you know this person well it's not so much that you're emotional about this person it's that you're emotional about your life taking such a drastic and unsuspected or expected turn that's what you're really emotional about so you don't have a reason to feel crazy you're emotional because this is your life that has taken a drastic turn for what seems like the worst is really for the better you know it's really for the better because you were really on you know a fantasy ride and now you're off in thank God you're off but it's still nonetheless emotional because you've done what you've invested yourself you you've given time probably money to this and you you thought this would be it and now you back at what you feel like is square one so there's an emotional challenge now here you're three things I want to share with you under this fourth point the emotional challenge the first challenge for you emotionally will be the challenge to trust again you know the challenge to trust again that's that's probably the biggest challenge that I see with with people who are transitioning out of narcissistic relation chips and see until you get whole on the insight you have to understand that you're still transitioning you may have been gone from this person for three five ten years but if your soul is still broken you're still transitioning you have to understand that and what I find of people who are still in still transitioning is that there's this challenge to trust again which is understandable but you have to also understand this that your ability to trust again people your ability to trust again is symbolic of your personal health you you are you become a healthy person watch this when you can analyze and discern people you know not for what they show on the surface but for what you discern and what you you know pick up on that their essence and then you choose to trust people and watch this when people fail it doesn't break you because you understand that people are human and people fail themselves and they fail others Thank You Marco you're a healthy when you can engage your relationship and you you know you you're watching this thing you know you're consciously watching this thing and you're not giving you all to person that has not proven worthy of that and you just you know you're loving in increments and when a person proves not to be worthy you're able to pull out of it without losing yourself but until if you still stuck in this place where I don't trust nobody I'm not gonna trust it you're still broken you're still broken and and you're still in transition you've been gone from this person for a long time physically but emotionally you're still stuck you're still stuck until you can come to the place where you've gone through all of these processes and you can say I choose to trust again you know you're not helping yourself by refusing to date because the last man or the last woman you had did you so bad you you're not helping yourself with that you help yourself by getting back in the ring not too soon not too soon take your time discover your individuality make certain that you're healthy but when you get back you you revisit all of the mistakes you made the first time you don't make those mistakes again and you trust people but you don't give more than you should before you should and when people prove to be other than what you thought which is the case a lot of times you're able to move forward with your life and say well you know that didn't work out you know we'll see what happens next that's that's where we're working to get to it you're gonna have to challenge the challenge to trust again then you're gonna have a struggle to accept your worth again because one of the one of the impacts of narcissistic abuse or any toxic relationship is that the abuser intends to empty your self-esteem and their emptying your self-esteem even when you don't realize it and so when you finally come out of that you usually come out of that with your tank your self-esteem tank completely empty and so when you're by yourself and this person is no longer part of your world one of your struggles is going to be to accept the fact that you're worth it again so when someone approaches you that may be the polar opposite of that food that you just had you're not even able to embrace or to respond affirmatively to a good person because within yourself you may not even realize this subconsciously you don't believe that you're worth having that kind of person and so a great man shows up in your life you sabotage it you'll sabotage it because you have emotional healing that has to take place instead a great woman shows up in your life you will sabotage it every time because you struggle you will struggle to accept your worth and then you're gonna struggle to relinquish subconscious expectations of the previous ideal now what do I mean by that you will struggle to relinquish subconscious expectations of the previous ideal see there were some things about that I won't use descriptive negative descriptive terms there was something there was some things about that person that you thought were ideal you know those are the things that attracted you and so what happens is though this person proved to have beat us the spawn of Satan himself when you when you move forward in life and you even start trying to engage you know new relationships rather than embracing those new relationships for what they are and expecting God to give you something new and better you're entering into your future and you're entering into these new relationship relationships with the expectation of the previous idea you're searching for the fool the the person you just got rid of in the new guy or the new lady you try you're trying to find you trying to find you know a little bit of them in him a little bit of him in them or a little bit of you know her in her and you're not realizing that subconsciously you're still being driven by it this would be this would be a good illustration subconsciously you have not divorced yourself Thank You Tara from the old blueprint the building is torn down it was condemned all the foundation was destroyed there's a brand new foundation for a new building with new plans and you come into the worksite with the old plans trying to get to trying to get the the contractor to build on the new foundation with the old plans and the contract is looking at you like these new plans don't this Foundation does not fit those old plans that was for the old building that you just got through demolishing we have new plans now and so you're gonna struggle to relinquish that subconscious expectation of a previous ideal which was no ideal at all and you you find yourself moving forward and living your life constantly searching for that and what that will do what that will do is that that will sabotage every positive every must the word I'm looking for promising relationship that point right there will sabotage every promising relationship and some of you have done that and some of you are doing that you you've moved on but you still have the same mindset and you're still looking for the same stuff that you had this is how y'all you know especially women this is how you all you know get rid of one man and then you get another man and you bring him on the scene and and I look at the next man and the next man is like a carbon copy of the last man and then he messes a mess is over you didn't you go get another man that looked just like that man you could take all three of them and line them up and they all three look like you four or five of them you got all of them looking alike it's because you have not relinquished the subconscious expectation of a previous ideal that was never ideal God's trying to do a new thing in you but subconsciously this is the stuff that's happening beneath the surface of you you are still holding on to the toxic and broken mentality that has kept you moving in and out of one relationship after another and all of them all of them are of the same kind you have to ask the Holy Spirit to purge your mind you have to ask the Holy Spirit to purge your mind of all of your thoughts as it pertains to me I don't know what I need Holy Spirit I don't know what I need emotionally I need you to cleanse my palate and allow me to think your thoughts and let your will for my life in terms of relationship be done because I don't know what I'm doing but that would be those would be some of the emotional challenges now let me pray for you tonight if I made and I want to say this to you listen to me very well listen to me very well doesn't do me very well I know I know that it hurts man I know that it hurts I you know I know that it hurts what you're going through I know that it hurts and I'm not saying that out of personal experience I've never experienced it personally but I will say this to you I know that the Spirit of God is present in your life right now to bring healing to every broken place in your life God is a healer God is a healer thank you love Jones God is a healer and my objective for even embracing this subject matter initially I was just intrigued but then I started realizing that God has me embracing this subject matter from a spiritual perspective because it is the will of God to save a generation of people who have been and are being destroyed by this very spirit and I want to say to you God is getting ready in fact God is presently healing your heart there's some of you that are watching me right now by January you will not recognize yourself God is healing your heart everything that the devil thought that he stole from you every place that he thought he he's broken up and you God is repairing it God is restoring it God is replenishing God is going to give you the ability to trust again God is gonna bring people into your life that will sincerely and genuinely love you and your future will be more amazing than you ever dreamed the the life that God has planned and prepared for you is so far above anything that you ever imagined in your past your wildest idea in the past does not even compare to the reality of what God is getting ready to do in your life God is healing your heart I want you to hear me I'm not I'm not preaching at you but I am prophesying I'm telling you the word of the Lord is that God is healing your heart when you go back to your therapist or your counselor it won't be the same father I thank you tonight for this time that I've had to share I thank you for just giving me the revelation in the heart to be consistent in sharing with your people God I thank you that you've taken this and you've turned it into ministry and so now father as I speak over their lives every word that I've declared God I thank you for giving them a personal witness in their souls that these things are true God I thank you for rescuing those that I in deep dark pits rescue them father in the name of Jesus amen hey man I love you all it's been our golly it's been an hour I love you all and I hope that you've gotten something out of this if this is your kind of thing and you with us for the first time please subscribe to our Channel and give me some thumbs up if you will your cut is that I'm it's moving so fast I can't read at all your cam model mentor thank you so much thank you and don't forget to stop by my website RC Blake's com sign up for my mailing list and those of you that want to go on the with us queen ology Cruz in July of 2020 I think it's July to nineteen through the 26th we're going we're doing the Western Caribbean cruise go to RC Blake's calm look under live events and hit on the link for the cruise Thank You Diane and it'll give you all of the information relative to your getting information about the cruise Lisa and I would love to have you there and let me say this for all of you that are in Europe it's been a real struggle finding a venue to have queen ology but it looks like we have two venues pretty much locked down so within days I'll be announcing the London Queen ology in London for 2020 within days I'll be announcing and those that are on my mailing list of course will get that information first but within days we'll be announcing Queen knowledge in London and then we'll work on Toronto Canada next year we're taking Queen ology international those of you who are women in ministry I challenge you encourage you to meet us in Mobile Alabama next month I forget the exact dates but if you go to our sea blogs calm under live events look for Swim sisters winning in ministry it's it's a it's a Gathering designed for women who are literally in ministry and it'll be a weekend fried in a Saturday where we will pour into you and that Friday night will have a worship experience that Saturday will have sessions from morning to afternoon and I'll be sharing a lot along with others if you're a woman in ministry it's the perfect it's the perfect setting for you well I think that's it y'all I'm done I'm tired I love you I love you I thank God for you and remember this you're on top and you're going higher God has more in store for you so I will see you at the top god bless you until next time have a great night

Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

Views: 55,440

Rating: 4.9436479 out of 5

Keywords: Dating Advice, Relationships, Christian, Narcissist, RC BLAKES, narcissist

Id: MgvEz4z5GKo

Length: 57min 35sec (3455 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 28 2019