DEVELOPING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU- How To Do It- by RC BLAKES

good evening good evening good evening good evening I hope you guys can hear me hope I'm coming through well as promised I said that I would talk to you tonight about how to develop a relationship with yourself if there's any way that you can invite people to come into this please do so I'm gonna try to be a little more timely than than normal but this this whole topic comes about as the result or the consequence of a question that was asked of me while doing a certain in an interview and the question was asked you know how do how do I develop a relationship with me you know because that's a statement I make a lot that you know you should have you should you should work on your relationship with yourself before you try to move into any other kind of relationship with other people one should have a firm and solid foundation with him or herself and so the question was asked well how do I do that and so I started thinking about it a little more deliberately and these are some of the thoughts that I have that I've come up with but this is this is a I feel this to be a subject that will subject that will evolve and will you know grow but when William Shakespeare says to that own self be true it is indicative of or it indicates rather than necessity of knowing oneself you cannot be true to yourself if you don't know yourself and the reality today is that there are very few people who really know themselves this is why we find ourselves many times in predicaments where we're embarrassed or we're ashamed of our behavior and it's like you know we say to ourselves I can't believe I did that why did I you know why did I do this and I relate to that you know because years ago when I was a younger man excuse me I carried on behavior that made me ashamed of myself well listen to that statement and how how often is that statement made I did something that I'm ashamed of I'm ashamed of myself well how can one perform a behavior that one clearly fundamentally disagrees with and when that behavior is performed one steps out of the you know the scene of the crime and says to oneself I'm ashamed of myself and literally mean it it's not like you're just trying to make an excuse literally you are ashamed of what what you just did but if you if you are conscious enough to know that you're ashamed of it after the fact why weren't you conscious enough to know that it was not something that you should have done prior to the act it's because there very few of us that really have a firm grip on ourselves and what happens is we're driven by the lust of our flesh we're driven by we're driven by popular opinion so even we we talk we talk this talk to little children school children but grown people struggle from peer pressure as much or even more than grown people I mean then children why is this it's because we don't have a grasp of ourselves and we have we have we have lost our sense of identity we have lost our sense of identity in things outside of ourselves you know like most most people watching me right now live or will watch the replay of this message you find your total identity in is the number one relationships so if I don't have a man or if I don't have a woman I don't know who I am I'm lost I'm lost I don't know what to do I don't have I don't have a relationship so your identity you have built your entire persona your identity you have a false identity and it's based on your relational status others of you it's materialism how many men you know find their identity in money and how much money they make or what they do the title of their job you know or people find their complete identity and all kinds of things everything but what's in them you know and that that is that is indicative of people not really having a healthy relationship with themselves it's interesting and I always mention this when you go to the book of Genesis and you look at the creation of man you see God creating Adam and Eve separately at different times and it's interesting that God does that and then I you know pondering it many years ago the revelation came to me the reason God created Adam and Eve separately whereas when he created the other animals it's you know it's it's indicated that he kind of created them together male and female a light meal and female cow male and female horse so forth and so on but when it came down to man he created Adam put him to sleep and then he created Eve we don't know how long Adam slept but we know that God created each of them individually separately and apart from each other and the reasoning behind that is that man was the only part of God's creation that had a soul the Bible says God breathed into them the breath of life and man became a living soul of thinking being an individual not driven by instinct but driven by intellect and inspiration driven by his capacity to think as God gave it to him and driven by the influence of God inspired in spirit inspire inspiration and so for man to be whole and complete as God ordained man would have to know how to live in this world as an individual that is fully and totally complete within himself and within the context of his relationship with God but how few people do we see we don't see many people today who are really at the level where they are completely and entirely whole and and satisfied and complete within themselves alone everybody's feigning for a relationship and here's the reality until you come to a place that you don't need a relationship you really don't need a relationship if you're person that's you know just thirsty for a relationship with somebody and then somebody obliges you either that person is victimizing you because they can see your vulnerabilities they can see your fractures and your weaknesses or you have an innocent person that you're getting ready to break because you're going to put a demand on them that only God could fulfill you're gonna demand of them that they make you hold that they complete you and and that's an unfair burden and this is what you bring to the table when you when you fail to develop a relationship with yourself and you're connecting yourself to someone else they are either taking advantage of you because they're looking at your vulnerabilities and they're looking at your weaknesses or you are maybe sincerely but you are sincerely getting ready to wreck somebody's life because you're going to expect of them to make you whole and to give you an identity I hope that's clear now as I was pondering this I thought this is a thought I had and inspired by the Holy Spirit the reason people need and I listen to this statement very carefully and I have psychologists and therapists and psychiatrists that are just you know within my my circle so if if this statement needs to be tweaked at all those of you you know feel free because I admit all the time I'm not a therapist I'm not a psychologist I'm a student and I happen to be I happen to love I happen to love the mind I love the soul of man and so I'm a student of the mind I'm a student student of the way we think and why we behave the way we behave and and I'm a student of how can we get better as individuals so here's the statement I wrote down the reason people need therapists and counselors is mainly because very few have authentic self relationships very few are in touch with who they are why they think the way they think and feel what they feel and behave the way they behave that's that's you know and I mean that that maybe that synopsis maybe it may be what what what's the word I'm looking for it may be a bit crayon ish in terms of the depth of it but I've those are my thoughts the reason people need therapy stand counselors is mainly because very few have real self relationships you in other words your therapist your counselor your psychologist introduces you to yourself helps you to understand why you think the way you think why you do what you do and why you feel the way you feel after you've done what you've done they they bring if you if you're dealing with a good one they bring you into a place where you have a better relationship working relationship with you because most of us are strangers to ourselves we don't know ourselves and that's why we can't control ourselves it's because we don't know ourselves and and this is why okay now let me let me make this statement as well then I'll get into my points now listen to this statement very carefully the reality is that listen to this this comes off of the statement that we don't have healthy self relationship the reality is that toxic people narcissists users you know whatever you whatever kind of toxic person you want to imagine toxic people know us better than they know their victims better than their victims know themselves this is why the the toxic individual the narcissists the user the abuser this is why they can continually manipulate and this is why I believe to large extent we develop these things called trauma bonds to people that in our right mind we know have proven to be nothing positive or good for us but when they're gone we still want them it's because these individuals listen to me have studied you they have intentionally studied you for the purpose of manipulating you these predators that's a great word have studied you for the purpose of manipulating you and because you don't have a healthy self relationship you are constantly repeatedly victimized by inferiors who have taken the time to study you for the purpose of manipulating you now the evidence of the evidence of possessing a relationship a healthy relationship with one's self is when you can be content within yourself alone okay now let me just pause right there if your person and you are in an uproar because you're by yourself there's something that's not healthy about that there's something that's not healthy about that and the reason why I say and I'm not when I the reason why I say there's something that's not healthy about that is because for this number one reason the only person you are assured of being with for the rest of your life is you anybody else is subject to leave you anybody else is subject to walk out of your life anybody else is subject to die you are the only person that you know that you are absolutely guaranteed to be with for the rest of your life and if you have not done the inner work to become completely and totally content and happy in life with yourself alone you're not in a healthy place you're not in a healthy place you're not you are not in a healthy place you know you know how much I love my wife everybody knows how much I love my wife everywhere I go I talk about my wife she doesn't like to travel so she's not with me a lot of places that go but I talk about my wife everywhere I go I love my wife everybody knows I love my wife I just said I love my wife about seven eight times right there but do you not know that I am balanced enough that if if if Lisa made up her mind that you know whatever for whatever reason she just you know she didn't want me no more I would cry I tell y'all this all the time I would cry I sure would I'd get on every social media platform and tell y'all how no good and lowdown she is and I'll tell my churches how good no good and lowdown she is and then you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna proceed to move forward you know what I'm not gonna do I'm not gonna lose my mind because you know I got a I got a lot to do in life I have a great life independent of my wife she has a great life independent of me so you know I god bless you you know I'll move on and I'll do me because I am healthy now here's here's the okay I'm getting ahead of myself in Philippians 4 and 11 he says not that I speak in respect of warrant for I have learned in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content whatsoever my state is be it single be a divorce being married whatever state I'm in to be con 10th I was just I was just talking to one of my spiritual daughters the other night and she was saying to me and I want you to hear this statement she was saying to me that in so many words she was saying to me that she keeps falling into these relationships that are not ordained she keeps ending up with people that you know she knows are not for her and and my just my common sense response to her was well as long as you feel the need to have somebody filling a space that you know they can't fulfill for the long-term of your life you will never walk upon or never come upon the man that is ordained for you because as if every time every time God sends the right man around and you got the wrong man in the slot well I can't park in a slot that has a car in it already and so for a lot of you because you've not learned to be content you know within the state whatever state you're in you've never come into the things that God has ordained because you've always created stuff on your own you've always created stuff on your own so that's the thing that God has ordained for your life you've never experienced it because you've never been content in whatever state God has had you and you've never trusted God and then what happens is and I haven't gotten to my point yet Wow what happens is because you're not content and because you keep creating all of these these situations you keep getting broken and more broken and more broken and more broken and what happens is you you you're your self perspective is so marred that you don't even recognize healthy people when you see them now your soul has been so broken that now your soul is longing for us like the person that gets addicted to drugs and it's killing them but they they're feigning for it when you should have been you should have allowed yourself to be content in whatever state you were in and allowed this thing called life to progress you know evolve according to God's divine order now now let me get into my points and I think I have one two three four maybe five for you tonight number one learning to develop a relationship with yourself now listen to this one very carefully if you can share this please share it number one in the process now all of this is self work you must learn should I should I start there okay let me start here I'm actually start with what I listed as number two is number one number one embrace the ordained season of let me put it this way alone is not loneliness there's there's an ordained season of alone nests there's a season in your life that God is ordained I say to young people please don't rush through life please don't just you know running off too much you in love and trying to get married and you don't have a clue who you are because you've not really spent any time with yourself you've not been responsible for you for the 18 years that you were you was in your parents home they were responsible for you they made your decisions they they were the ones that were thinking for you and now you finally get out into the world and and you are alone you are an individual you are a you are an adult individual and the first thing you want to do is tie your life up with somebody else and you don't have a clue who you are there's so many people don't know some of you young people say well you just old there's so many people on here right now that can testify that one of the biggest mistakes they made was to call themselves falling in love before they even had a clue who they were the purpose of that season I believe with all of my hearts your 20s and all of that that that's that's that's the season to be selfish and and I mean this I'm speaking of selfishness within the context of God's will that's the season for you to really focus on you to really be selfish you know a relation when you think about watch this we're talking about developing a relationship with yourself when you think about developing a relationship with another person developing a relationship with another person requires what selflessness to to make the connection you can't you're not gonna have much of a relationship with another person if you don't if you don't embrace it with a selflessness to make the connection well just like you know to join the somebody else requires self selflessness one must take the focus when it comes down to you developing a relationship with you one must embrace that alone season as a time to completely focus on me and so you know the marriage proposal might be flattering it might be a great thing but it may not be the time because how do you know who to marry if you don't even know who you are right so to develop a relationship with one's self requires a time to focus on you and god I didn't okay now watch this watch this let me use this real life illustration let me use me all of my life from a you know a very young person I was sexually involved had these relationships better probably better said situation ships I get up into my 20s my mid twenties and you know I had this revelation that God called me to preach you know I didn't want to preach if there's any if there's any example on a planet that God actually called somebody to preaches me because if you look at me and listen to me and the things I say you can you can tell that I'm not a religious type guy I'm not I'm not a guy that's just gonna be wanting to go out there and be somebody's preacher I just you know I'm just not that guy didn't want to do that God called me to preach but now I'm confused because I've been sexualized and society has taught me that you know for me to be a man in the highest order I had to have all of these women so now I'm preaching and I got the Bible in the Bible is contradicting everything that I'm doing so now I'm I'm you know I'm ashamed I'm embarrassed that I have to almost you know skate around certain scriptures because my life ain't lining up with that and so now I'm at a place where I want to do better but my identity is in this stuff my soul is tired my self-concept is confused my identity is in all of this stuff and so God you know had a plan for my life and God says this is where I want to bring you God's having this internal conversation with me you know I'm having these thoughts that I know it's God because I'm not thinking this stuff I know the devil's not saying this stuff and I feel the presence of God and so God says I want to bring you here but I can't bring you living the way you're presently living and my heart was broken because I didn't know how to stop living the way I was living and so the Holy Spirit plays a trick on me and he brings me into what is the equivalent of consecration I went into my little apartment many of you heard his testimony many many many times I went into my little apartment and I spent like two and a half to three days in my apartment really laying on the floor lying on the floor and praying and just waiting in the presence of God and it was the first time in my life that I embraced being alone it was the first time in my life that I was content with being by myself and in that in that brief two-and-a-half day period there was an adjustment made to my soul when I came out of that time I knew who I was all of the lies had been dispelled I knew who I was and I was able to walk into the world and to say this is who I am it's not what y'all taught me it's not what you think think I'm supposed to be it's not in all of these women and I started you know I cut off all of that to the point some of these women said oh he's gay Ray Charles can see that there's nothing gay about me I wasn't gay I was just woke I was just woke I woke up and I realized who I was I realized that you know I don't have to sleep with all these women to be a man in fact I'm more of a man if I can preserve myself and be faithful to one woman I'm a man when I can stand up and preach the word and know that most of my life at least lines up with it I can teach the whole Bible and don't have to be ashamed that makes me a man that's that's what I woke up with what was going on I had been introduced to myself and for the first time in my life I was content being alone I didn't need those so tires got stopped breaking though so ties all of that that drive for sex on this illegal sex God got rid of all of that let it happen when I embraced my ordained season of a lone miss in Psalm 62 and five it says my soul wait thou only up on God for my expectation is from him you cannot know anything or anyone you're not focused on there has to be a season where it's just about you and God so to begin this process you must embrace the ordained season of Alumnus there's a time for you to focus on you gotta embrace that now some of you this is going to happen to you later you know so you have all of these bad chips that you have to detox from and all of that and people who walk out of your life and you have to just embrace that season say god I recognize this I'm not gonna call this loneliness god I I'm alone for the first time and it's it's self-discovery time redefine it redefine it now number two while you're in that season learn we're talking about developing a relationship with you likewise with a person if you're going to know them you must be self less and you must spend time give time to know yourself you must be selfish in that ordained season of a loneliness and focus let the focus be on you number two in that season Thank You Jeanette learn and scrutinize your history you know a few of you on here tonight really know your history some most of you on here right now you don't know anything about your parents no more than the part you've seen from the time you came conscious that you were here you haven't asked them questions about their childhood you haven't asked your grandparents questions about them and their parents you don't know your you don't know your lineage you don't know your history and you've not really paid attention to your own life your own personal life so there are a lot of things that you've gone through personally that you are supposed to learn certain things about yourself from that that that have eluded you because you just kind of slept through the movie most most of the stuff we've gone through listen to this very carefully most of the stuff that we have gone through has orchestrated who we are psychologically and even sexually most of the stuff that you've gone through has orchestrated who you are psychologically and even sexually to get to the core of our subconcious system we need an intentional look at our history and it's real impact on our minds see when I was lying on that floor the Holy Spirit was was showing me all of my mistakes and even to the day I still looked back over my history to take the lessons and the wisdom not the pain in the shame I look back over it to take the lessons in the wisdom and one day I was I was teaching the before queen ology there was the father-daughter talk that was the first book queen ology is really the follow-up book to the father-daughter talk and I was I was teaching any I was teaching a father-daughter talk I guess you would call it conference but it really was just a one-day thing and I was standing on a stage and I was talking about I was talking about sexual integrity and while I was teaching the the ladies that were there there were some men as well the Holy Spirit said to me while I was on that stage and I was talking about my history and how I had been sexually in life by older women which created which created a little pervert that grew into a big pervert thank God it didn't turn into old pervert it's bad to be an old pervert but I'm standing on the stage and I'm teaching these ladies and I'm going over my history and the Holy Spirit says to me while I'm on that stage it's like I'm in a therapy session the Holy Spirit says to me says what happened to you when you were a kid though society said to you you are the man because it was older women you were dealing with the reality is that you were molested you were abused and it disrupted the path of your life but for the grace of God it was intended to destroy you well now when the Holy Spirit gave me that you know perspective on my history now I'm able to put all of this together y-you know I had all these soul ties why I was so driven with lust why I got a girl pregnant at 14 had a kid at 15 years old why I just was running all of these women and I found my identity and I found a sense of pride in having all of these women and it took the interruption of God to bring me into a brief stint of Alumnus so that God could wake me up and he woke me up number one to him and when he woke me up to him he woke me up to myself I came out of that situation with a better knowledge of who RC Blake's is not in the context of what machismo says what the men say you know a man is or not even what the church says but what God says who God says I am and then there's there's another thing that is is powerful about learning learning and scrutinizing your history and going even beyond yourself as I said into your parents lives into your grandparents lives you know like for instance I met some great uncles of mine my mother's uncles and well one of them and well both of them actually and they were telling me that dudes on that side of my family was running women and they tell me about how they everybody was playing and players and just had all kinds of women and I said man you know so this stuff didn't start with me this stuff was in my bloodline so now I'm understanding me better see I'm developing a what a better relationship with me look what the Bible says in Exodus 34 and 7 keeping mercy for thousands forgiving iniquity now iniquity is sin that is embedded in your in your bloodline it's like you're you're born with this propensity to do this thing so this stuff was in my bloodline from my mother's side to my father's side so I was born with the propensity to do this thing all the devil needed to do was to water the seed that was already in me it's an innie says keeping mercy for thousands forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin and that will by no means clear the guilty visiting watch this the iniquity of the father's upon the children and upon the children's children unto the third and to the fourth generation what is he talking about there there are issues that you're struggling with in your lifetime that your great-great grandparents struggled with and because nobody ever came conscious because very few people really ever got spiritual enough to be delivered just because you sit in a church and you're going through all of the religious stuff doesn't mean that you're really spiritual that you're really connected to Jesus Christ and that he's really doing a work in you nobody ever really got to place where they could get delivered to actually get free so everybody just you're born were born with masks on so we look in the mirror and we think we are the mask until one day somebody on YouTube pulls the mask off thank you my dear classy lady thank you so much so number one research you have to embrace the ordained season of aloneness y'all shared this for me if you will if you have Facebook pages put it on Facebook I need people to see this number to learn and scrutinize your history number three watch this number three in terms of getting developing a relationship with yourself number three you must begin to talk to you you must begin to talk to you you must here's number three you must ask the questions that reveal the core have you ever had an uncomfortable conversation with yourself most people have not this is what most people have not gotten to know themselves because if you're going to have a relationship with another person a significant other you're going to have to ask the questions that reveal the core if you're not asking them if you're trying to get into a serious relationship with somebody and you're not asking questions that would reveal their core you're unwise and just like you have to ask another person questions to get at what's really going on on the inside of them who they really are at their core you have to do the same thing with you you have to ask yourself just because we live in our bodies listen to this does not mean that we truly understand ourselves at the core most of us most that makes up who we are is buried beneath layers of idealization that has absolutely nothing to do with realization I call it mascara therapy and queen ology and father/daughter talk it's what we we paint up the outside to cover up the the filth and the trash that's really on the inside and the only way to cut through those layers is through questions questions reveal reveal motives and you got to learn to ask yourself the tough questions you know I believe the reason the holy spirit answered mean diamonique should quita thank you thank you thank you I believe the reason the holy spirit answered me relative to who I was is because I asked well why am I like this you know why am I like this why do i why do I have these thoughts in these feelings that are so contrary to what I fundamentally believe as a Christian why and those questions Psalm 139 verses 23 and 24 it says he says search me O God and know my heart try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting what when he's asking God to search him it's not like God doesn't know what's there what he's really asking God to do is reveal to me comb through my soul and give me give me clear perspective of what's there because I need to know me for real not not the made-up version not the masked version I need to know me in the naked truth of who I really am and you got to ask those questions you got to ask you so you know like for instance let me show you what I mean by this you go off on your husband or your wife or your boyfriend of your girlfriend for no reason for no for no good reason you know the man just went around the cone round the Conda that's the way we said in New Orleans round the corner man went round the corner to the Walmart man was gone ten minutes then you asked him where you've been who you talked to let me see your phone I mean you know well you know if he's not if he's not been busted and exhibited behavior she's not exhibited behavior has a track record of cheating on you what you should ask yourself why am i trippin like this why am i trippin like this and then you need to you need to self-analyze and you need to get to the core and you know when you start getting to the truth shaquita thank you you start getting to the truth it's when you begin to feel uncomfortable with the answers that's popping up in your mind because the truth is going to be those thoughts that come up in your mind that make you feel guilty or bad about what you just did now you're getting to the truth and the only way to know yourself is to ask yourself the questions now most people have never had a deep conversation with themselves now this is where biblical meditation means a lot you know biblical meditation means a lot and biblical meditation is where I I can't pronounce that name god bless you hey anyone mess it up biblical meditation is where we quiet the mind we listen to the voice of holy spirit watch this we we choose what we think about that's biblical meditation and it's in biblical meditation where we quiet the mind and the that is where the Holy Spirit is able to speak to us and to watch this bring up things that have been buried within us so that we can address them and it's you talk about therapy it's it's like it's like a psychologist reaching into your mind taking out those thoughts that have toxified your life for so long and all of this can happen within the structure of you now here's some question what you know things for you to think about in this process what lingering hurts have defined me that's a question for you to ask yourself to get to to really come into a proper relationship with yourself what lingering hurts have defined me and see when you can answer that question now your healing and now and see the more you heal the more you moving back to Center you the more you're moving back to a place of balance one of the things that when I ask myself that question a lot of years ago what lingering hurts have defined me mine went back to not feeling not feeling good enough you know because of the mistakes I made obviously and I found that I was defining myself by my mistakes and so I was shrinking I was becoming invisible in spaces where I was supposed to shine but because I was defining myself by those lingering hurts you know the things people said you know about me when I was a teenage father the way people looked at me no I started if I was defining myself by that and then when I when I started asking myself those questions and I started getting the answers now I was able to compartmentalize this stuff and I realized that this is what I went through this is not who I am you know another question would be what what are my weaknesses and what's my shame you know what am i what are my weaknesses what what am i you know nobody nobody has it all what what what are my weaknesses you know what areas do I need to really exercise caution you know because if I don't know my weaknesses I'll put myself in a predicament where I can be taken advantage of here's a big question that everyone should ask him or herself and take the it's gonna take a lifetime to answer it Who am I see if you don't know who you are how do you know who you belong with all belongs with you see if if I ask most of you that question who are you you're gonna tell me over you say I'm a preacher and you're gonna give me all of your titles I'm a possible profit evangelist pastor Bishop dr. a parlous apostle rabbi Pope whatever whatever you'll give me all those titles and that that's not who you are who are you because if we strip all of that stuff away from you all of these things that you've defined yourself back if we strip all of this stuff away from you who are you if I take your money from you who are you but take your titles from you who are you if I take your education who are you if you strip me down to my core and this is a question that one spins a lifetime answering I'm a I'm a man I'm a saved man you know I'm a saved man I'm born again I love God and watch this some of you define yourselves by your politics I have my own politics but I'm a save man first some of you define yourself by your race the engine god bless ya I can't read that word thank you some of you to find yourselves by your race and I'm a proud black man promise you I am but I'm a man I'm a saved man I'm a black man see these are things that I can't escape even if I want to you have to begin to answer those questions for yourself Who am I now I'm not asking you what you do I'm not asking you what you have who are you now just write down first Corinthians 2 I'm almost done I'm sorry for taking too long 1st Corinthians chapter 2 verses 9 through 11 I'll read it for it says but as it is written I have not seen listen to this text very carefully he says I have not seen nor ear heard neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for them that love him but God hath it hadn't even entered into your heart the things that God has prepared for you you haven't even been introduced to the best version of you but God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit for the spirit searcheth all things yea the deep things of God now watch this part of the text for what man knoweth the things of a man save or but the spirit of man which is in him even so the things of God knoweth no man but the Spirit of God what he's saying here is you are watch this let me give let me give you a Bible lesson here now you are by body the physical part soul the mental part and spirit the divine part that connects with God what he's saying here is that God has put some stuff in you that your soul is not aware of and your body is not experiencing your outward is not experiencing and the only way to discover what is what God has put in you he says he says for what man knoweth the things of a man the things that are in him but the spirit of the man what he's saying is you have to bypass your body you have to bypass your soul and you have to get into your spirit to really begin to understand who you are and what God is put in you and begin to unpack your reach your real reality not that fictitious reality you've been demonstrating he's saying you got to get into your spirit it's the spirit of a man that knows everything that's in him this is why the holy spirit had to bring me to a spiritual place before I woke up to who I really am now I'm woke but I've had to ask myself the questions that got to the core number four then I think I'll let you guys go thank you laughing lady thank you y'all got some names on me tonight I'm trying to keep up with you learn how watch this teach yourself how this is all in developing a relationship with you teach yourself how to fulfill yourself teach yourself how to fulfill yourself how many of you would have a spouse and would not become proficient or effective or skilled at taking care of the needs of your spouse whatever your spouse needs it is your responsibility to figure out how to meet that need it would be a you would be a very sad person to have a spouse and need to call someone else in to your home to take care of your spouse i'ma call another man in here to take care of my wife I need another man to pay my wife's bills drive my wife open the door for my wife and man you wouldn't have that in your relationship so why would you live your personal life your relationship with yourself in a place where you're incapable of fulfilling you and you're depending on other people to fulfill your needs why would you allow that if you wouldn't allow that in terms of your relationship with another person why would you not want to be in control of your self fulfillment you got to depend on all of these people to make you feel like somebody to pay your bills all of this kind of stuff why would you do that do you think the father created you for that no ma'am no sir no sir we never learn how to make ourselves happy so we're always seeking someone else's aid listen I will never be guilty of needing people to be happy I will never never ever ever ever ever ever ever never ever ever never be guilty of needing people to be happy people are too no no too flimsy no ma'am no sir I have learned how to make I've learned how to fulfill me all money I can travel around the world by myself don't even have to speak the language I'm good because I know how to fulfill me I know I know how I know how to make me happy now I may not be able to make you and you and you and all them happy that ain't my job my job is to make certain that I can keep me happy and if I can keep me happy and you can keep you after we can be happy together like two shoes in a box we could become a pair don't come expecting me to make you happy and I'm not expecting you to make me happy I got a do that for myself and you know what until you get to a place where you've learned happy by yourself you you you already know you don't need nobody else in your life any girl Galatians 6 4 & 5 but let every man prove his own work and then shall he have watch this he says let every man prove his own work and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone and not in another for every man shall bear his own burden that every man prove his own work and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone and not in another for every man shall bear his own burden now let me give you this and then I'm done I've been on here our ridiculous a part of fulfilling yourself is bringing watch this teaching yourself to bring private closure to your hurts that's a that's a major part of fulfilling yourself a numa god bless you is bringing private closure to your hurts in other words not needing anybody outside of you to bring closure to whatever hurts you teaching yourself how to close wounds on your own it's it's ridiculous for us to assume that the people that created the wound are gonna come and help us to stitch the wound up and heal it a part of a part of fulfilling yourself is teaching yourself how to bring private closure to wounds teaching yourself to entertain yourself some of y'all need to take yourself out on a date this week I mean get fully completely and totally dressed up and go to the restaurant go to the best restaurant you can afford and in completely enjoy yourself just look at look at the ambience look at the beautiful people go ahead and sit and listen to some music you you got a day off go sit in the movies and watch one one move after another teaching yourself to entertain you number three under this point training yourself to encourage and motivate you become your own self cheerleader and then watch this marrying your purpose finding out who you are what you're here to do what you're passionate about what you gifted to do discovering that becoming very passionate about that and marrying it and marrying it now I'm done I'm gonna stop there and I believe that this is a message that will evolve into even the more but I'm done let me pray for you before I let you go tonight father I thank you for every person that's tuned in tonight and those that will watch the replay the rebroadcast of this now father I ask that you would take the words of my mouth and plant them in the hearts of your people I thank you God that the things we've shared will bring clarity that it will open the understanding of your people in ways their God that will elevate them in terms of their self-knowledge and even their self-care god I thank you Thank You Holy Spirit for breathing upon every person tonight I thank you for the spirit of rest in peace being upon each and every one of them as I close this session tonight and I love you for it in Jesus's name Amen hey if this is your first time and you like this this is what we do I'd love for you to subscribe right now but when you subscribe hit the bell so you know when I'm live or when I've uploaded something don't forget to stop by RC Blake's com sign up for my mailing list we're we're finalizing you've been asking when is London where what's the dates for London lease is working on finalizing that and hopefully I can have that up very very soon for you but you know that if you're on my mailing list because we will send you an email and you know when London is happening those of you that are interested in the Caribbean cruise that's going to happen the queen ology cruise that's happening in 2020 July I think 19 through 226 we're cruising the Western Caribbean we're gonna have Queen ology and King ology on the sea I will have finished the book King ology about that time so we'll have sessions for men and for women it's not necessarily a couple's thing it's just that we're going to introduce King ology alongside Queen ology and while we're at sea we'll be in sessions when we had port you'd be free to do what you do it's gonna be a real fun time go to our sea Blake's calm look under live events and you can just hit on the the cruise thing and it'll give you all the information that you can make contact don't forget to stop by Amazon pick up my books I think are for all of you that buy my books and tell everybody else to buy my books I just love you for it it empowers Lisa and I to do a lot of the things that we do in terms of outreach and I'm very very very very very grateful well I've come to an end tonight it's 58 minutes this is absolutely ridiculous I apologize for the length but I had to get that out and share this on your platforms and let me know what you think about what we talked about tonight give me some thumbs up if I did a bad job give me a thumb down yeah I always I have two or three people that waked up to see my face come on and they just gave me a thumb down automatically I could be saying you're the greatest person in the world if you don't give me a thumbs down it is what it is I Love You God bless you remember you're on top and you're going higher we're on top and we're going higher God has more in store for you so guess what I'll see you at the top god bless you have a great night

Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

Views: 89,450

Rating: 4.9443879 out of 5

Keywords: Dating Advice, Relationships, Christian, Narcissist, rc blakes

Id: aLi8DboJpJI

Length: 59min 30sec (3570 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 20 2019