7 PEOPLE YOU SHOULD NEVER DATE - By RC BLAKES - PERISCOPE SESSION

two letter goes to church frankly you can be unequally yoked with someone that goes to your church someone that's been saved longer than you you can be unequally yoked it requires intentional dating it requires intelligent dating and I think that's thing there lies the problem we do not we do not date intelligently we date emotionally we date hormonal II but we do not date intelligently we're not dating for the data we're dating for other things that we shouldn't even be tampering with at the time but everything you need to know about a crazy person is pretty much there while you're dating them but you're so caught up and captivated with your you know your little hormones raging and you're looking at your clock and you're looking at how fine she is this one is for men and women you know you're looking at her bustline and you look in her eyes and you're not hearing all the crazy stuff coming out of this woman's mouth you're not looking at this dude this dude is a serial killer and he's sitting on the other side of the table from you at Applebee's and you so you want a man so bad you don't realize you have a nut oh how many times have you gone out come out of bad relationships and said man I should have paid attention all of the signs were there the whole while and a lot of times you see the signals you see the red flags but you ignore them because you want what you want so bad you're ignoring what you don't need that's a statement right there you want what you want so bad that you're ignoring what you need there was a woman man when I was much younger obviously viously and i was single at the time I was single and man this woman was just going to make me you know she was just going to make me be with her she was gone I mean this woman came to to my house don't nobody just come you know don't come up you're rolling up on my house now just came to my house knocking on my door uh when I wouldn't answer threw eggs all over my car and see I knew that woman was crazy when I first met her but she was so fine and I was just a typical little ignorant childish young man I ignored all of that and almost paid a heavy price for it you know this this stuff is serious you all have to be you have to date intelligently you have to you must date intelligently somebody just put date intelligently date with your head date with your head not your emotions date here don't even allow your emotions to get involved until they pass you know this you have to date intelligently the Bible says in Deuteronomy 22 and 10 thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together what does that mean two beasts with different natures can not work together you cannot get anything accomplished with two beasts that have different natures when I was in Atlanta it was something interesting that Pastor Alan said while I was teaching about I was doing the part about the singles and he said never date a donkey because I was talking about you know how many times you know your stallion and and you you won't you wanna meet so bad you choose a donkey and you tied this yoke to your neck and that yoke to that donkey's neck and an unequal yoke at best is painful at worst it can be lethal when you have an unequal yoke between two beasts that were not designed to be together it's always painful and and it could end up breaking the neck of one or the necks of both and that's what happens when you get into relationships that are not ordained by God relationships that don't even make good sense there were some people that just didn't make sense for me to even so he says don't plow with an oxen and ask together so you have to make certain that all of the all of the net the necessities are in place for an equal yoking between you and an individual that means you got to get beyond again my brother how fine she is there are a lot of fine crazy women trust me when I tell you you got to get beyond how handsome he is and how tall he is and how many muscles he has better to break your jaw with my dear you have to get beyond that and you have to get down to the real issues of the core of the person now um so conversation and dating are the occasions listen to this very carefully conversation and dating are the occasions to gather the information to determine if investment is feasible conversation and dating are the occasions to gather the information to determine if investment is feasible so you want to you want to have conversation then you want to move from conversation to dating and in the dating process then you can determine if investment is feasible don't jump from you see somebody across the room in a in a restaurant or let's get real with it in a club with a lot of y'all still go and you want to move from that you know to making investment sexually emotionally and otherwise no no you got to go from conversation you got to go to date and get gathering the data then you can determine if investment is feasible and let me tell you something the Holy Spirit will always fix it that there will be red flags those flags will be waving the Holy Ghost wave those flags he'll say something he'll do something you know like that girl then that movie a perfect guy when that do came out of that when I do came out of that that gas station and jumped on that man my god didn't she realized it but the red flags had been waving the whole Wow the red flags have been waving flaming flags there you go baby it not even set them on fire for you you know just flaming flags and you just ignoring it making excuses for it because Society has trained you has conditioned you to believe that you are deficient if you don't have a significant other not so not so not so okay number one seven people you don't you never need to date number one never date the four-time critic never date the four-time critic never date the four-time critic and let me back up don't even allow a person to categorize the relationship as dating you don't start off dating you start off conversing and many times you can have just telephone conversation and determine we don't even really need to go on a date you can gather the information you need many times from a telephone conversation see because dating sounds too close to something exclusive and you don't want to give crazy people the impression that that you're exclusive it never date the full time critic now what do you mean by that pastor this is a person okay this is you you lay a holier-than-thou person you can meet this person most frequently in church this person is so holy they came out of their mother's womb speaking in tongues everything is a sin everything got a demon in it you know everything you do is wrong you need to get your life together what kind of church is this you go to anyway does your pastor know you doing this and I mean just everything that they're criticizing everything about you criticizing everything about you this person yes is usually in the church just holier than down just oh they're just all spiritual they're just Jesus you know just that you know they're just so sanctimonious this person intentionally criticizes you now listen to this very carefully the full-time critic this person intentionally criticizes you when you are on a high and the aim is to make you feel inferior for being who God made you this person intentionally begins to criticize and unravel your best day with criticisms just just intentional criticisms aimed at draining your self-esteem this is a very dangerous and sick minded person this person is a controller anybody that that you mean tell me they find everything wrong with you but they keep showing up they find everything wrong with you but they keep showing up why their aim is to manipulate and to control you and to drain your self-esteem look what for the second Samuel six-and-twenty says this is talking about David and his wife Michael and David it just got brought ARC back into this into the city and he was you know just worshiping God praising God excited on high and look what happens taking up at verse 20 says then then David returned to bless his household and Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said how glorious was the king of Israel today who uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovered himself she was making little of David because he had praised God to the point he was coming all out of his robe and she was making little of men you read the full context David says if you think you think I look bad today just keep on watching I'm about to really turn it up and he said you know I'm praising God because he took your daddy off the throne and put me on it David really came back at her but she was criticizing him at a time when he was on on a high and this person will always drain your enthusiasm they will drain your joy the full-time critic always be leery of a person that's always critical of you number two never date and inferior never date an inferior now this person is not deemed inferior by you this person is deemed inferior by themselves this person is obviously intimidated by your persona or your accomplishments and the moment you recognize this you should exit stage left there may be good people but their psychology will never allow them to be comfortable in a relationship with you in Furious become silent enemies over time never date an inferior somebody that's you know obviously dealing with a lot of insecurities and that person is intimidated by your says about your accomplishments or by your overall persona this is not a person you want to move forward with because what they will demand of you is that you dumb yourself down they will demand of you that you subjugate your ambitions that you that you cut you know cut cut back on your goals this person is not designed for you anybody that you have to be less of you to be with them was not given to you by God the inferior is a person that needs to find his or her own level great people sometimes they have everything else working for me love God they look good you know they treat you nice but they just intimidated they can't they can't celebrate with you you know every time you you you know you go to the next level they go into a slump because they feel like it's a reflection on them and you see this though this is not the account of any relationship per se between man and woman but you see the psychology in Saul and David if you look in first samuel 18 7 through 9 the Bible says and the women answered one another as they played and said so let slain his thousands as a warrior and a king he slain his thousands and David his ten thousands David had just come back from winning a great battle for Saul and the women are singing Saul has killed his thousands David has killed his tens of thousands and Saul was very angry and the same displeased him and he said they have ascribed unto David 10 thousands and to me they have ascribed but thousands and what can he have more but the kingdom and so I had David from that day forward and y'all know Saul tried to kill David and everything else it's dangerous to come into close relationship with an inferior sometimes the inferior Israel superior which is a real tricky situation some of you all are working under in furious and and they hate you without a cause everything you doing is making them look good making them look better but for some reason because they have an inferior psychology they view everything that you do for them as a reflection on them and you certainly don't want to marry an inferior you do not want to marry an inferior you definitely don't want to be a woman marrying a man talking about he's your head and he's inferior in his own mind who inferiors will view your strengths as a reflection of their weaknesses they will Harbor and unjustified anger for you a resentment even they will behave aggressively sometime without warning because it's a it's a deep-seated insecurity they have within themselves it really has nothing to do with you it has everything to do with them number three avoid the person that still tied to the apron string you know that the man that takes it too far I'm a mama's boy he literally means it he's 35 years old 40 years old 50 years old I'm a mama's boy I'm a mama's boy too but my mama taught me that when you get married when you have a significant other your wife has to be your first priority you can't be laying here under mine uh you know my mama taught me that my mom my mother my mother taught me that when you get a wife you need to cleave to your wife you don't need to be running around here but I'm a mama's boy now what's all this other language here all right praise the Lord avoid the person that's still tied to the apron string you know the woman that can't stop talking about what her daddy did and you know when a daddy bought on and when her daddy says and I have a very close relationship with all of my girls they love me to no end but I don't get involved in their relationships and I teach them when you have a man in your life he has to be the man of your life you can't be sitting there telling the man about your daddy all day you can't be so hung up on your daddy that you can't celebrate the man God puts in your life anybody that's still tied to the apron string this is the Bible says in Genesis 2:23 24 and Adam said this is now bone of my bone bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh any man that cannot break the tie any woman that cannot break the tie you don't need to hang around too long if you havin a conversation with a man and all he talkin about his house mama cook and what is mama didn't and mama dis and mama daddy she took my daddy this and daddy that oh my god well she taught my mama she can't cut the heat constraint for mama you know just just you know you know then that's a flaming flag claiming flag you got to you got to cut this short because if this stuff is being if this stuff is being verbalized in your initial conversation this person has nothing else to talk about but mama or but daddy you mean tell me you just meeting me you don't have questions for me you don't have interesting things to tell me about yourself all I know is that you love your mama's pork chops and you you know you you like the way your daddy do this and you like the way your daddy do that man you don't want to get emotionally involved with someone like this because this person's parents listen to this very carefully will always be a major part of the equation it will be u him and them are you her and them wherever you go and whatever you do it will seem like mom and dad is in the back seat or the other room people who people who cannot let go of their parents have little room for you look for someone who respects in honor honors his or her parents but lives independently lives independently who Wow all right number four on there seven while the person is still tied to the apron string y'all know anybody like that he'll even clean that interesting the interesting thing about Genesis 2:23 24 where it says in 24 therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother the interesting thing is that this was this was articulated before there were natural parents that's how serious God was about it Adam and he did not have natural parents but God articulated for the generations to come based on the foundation or what would be foundation of psychology for a healthy connection between a man and a woman that if this person is not capable of leaving and cleaving you don't need to waste your time there stop wasting all at its time with these people man y'all wasting time with people that you know just to stop wasting this time you can make more money but you can't make more time don't waste time with people man cut it off y'all be good friends because you when you see one another but don't waste time if you know somebody's a daddy's girl or a mama's boy and it's way out of balance let me let them have that they merited a mama and a daddy man that man keep it moving number four avoid the liar avoid the liar avoid the liar avoid the liar mmm-hmm avoid the liar avoid the liar the liar always reveals himself with seemingly small insignificant lies you see because the liar lies so much he or she can't keep up with the lies so if you have intentional intelligent conversation if you're dating intelligently you're asking questions and you remembering answers and you talk to the lawyer two or three days later the liar got another story and when you start seeing these small white lies done don't hang around for a big black one because it's coming if it is coming when you find people lying to you about small stuff small stupid stuff man you know you just gonna lie about stupid stuff don't make no do not make no time or no space oh I remember one when I was dating man I remember woman that woman was the worst lying work who that woman was the worst liar in the world and I would just be catching that woman in so many lives and I wouldn't say nothing you know just listen to the woman like yeah you know y'all know what my mind was you know but I'm just sitting there looking this woman think she fooling me man I'm sitting listening his woman lies talking to the Lion King I was the king of lawyers i sat on the throne are you hearing what I'm saying I knew how to lie I would write my lies down so I can remember what a lot about I know how to do this kept my little pant with me didn't have phones and we could keep it in the phone I kept my pad so I could remember the lies are told in who I told them to this woman talking to the king of Liars man when you catch somebody lying when you catch somebody lying see small lies are just the tip of the iceberg the liar is an actor and sometimes the liar is a very good actor you never know what you are truly getting when you engage a liar don't donate don't know alignment Bible says in proverbs 26 28 a lying tongue hates those it wounds and crushes and a flattering mouth works ruin avoid the liar avoid the liar avoid the light you avoid the liar when people begin to lie to you somebody tells you okay here's one for you if somebody tells you I work I didn't I couldn't make it because I worked and in three days later they tell you they were somewhere else because they forgot daylight until you they worked in my book if I was single thank God I'm not if I was single out that dating and somebody lied to me about where they were it means that you were probably doing something that I wouldn't approve of so if we're starting with this kind of stuff if you lyin to me now and we don't really even have are you not engaged to me we're not really a committed like that and you lyin to me now you know what I'm doing I'm cutting that short because I don't want to walk down the aisle with you and find out that you lying to me bout big stuff and you possibly bringing some stuff home i'ma leave that alone but avoid the liar avoid the liar avoid the liar this is why I teach that you got to talk to people you know how I got away with so much line women did not talk they didn't ask me any questions I would say stuff they would not follow up you gotta learn to talk to people you got to stop batting your eyes and all that trying to be cute and you got to learn to talk to people because conversation reveals motives liars do not want to talk a lot because they cannot keep up with all of those lies they told and and a woman that will keep a man conversational will discover every lie he's told a man that will keep a woman conversational will discover things that he he might be surprised of void the lighter all right here's number five naturally I got this one from you duck Sonja avoid the narcissist avoid the narcissist now hey now this was another of another one of my struggles man I thought I was God's gift man you know that was that was back in the day when when they used to have the I never had a jheri curl but I used to have the little one that nature hair slicking all that this problem on my hair I burned it on top of my head and man I had my hair wavy and shiny and I had my old different rings on each hand and I had fake gold chains hanging in my neck and I had on these shirts called rollin shirts they were really esker oh there you go they were really polyester but we called them silk and man I got you know all my collars black from all that curl activator I had in my head and then you could just look at me until this fat Joker here think he's God's gift you do not want a man like that I don't care how I don't care how much personality how charming he might be I don't care whose son he may be I don't care what he does for a living a man in particularly that is so in love with himself is a dangerous animal fat Joker I wasn't fat joke Abed I look back at some pictures of myself not saying Lord and the world at all these women fall for something like this right here but I was overweight loved a baby I was the overweight level people believe what you believe about yourself people believe you are what you believe about yourself but back to my point the narcissist has an excessive preoccupation with him or herself there's a there's an over emphasis of self admiration they cannot pass by a mirror watch anybody now this this can be a cute treat with a woman because you know a man loves a woman that takes care of herself and is really concerned about her appearance you know I no men mother nothing wrong you know nothing wrong that with women but a man that cannot pass by mirror in a man that cannot pass by mirror a man that has more cosmetology products then you have a man is so in love with himself I you don't want that you do not want that you don't want that because this person here is sick see the narcissist is really really has low self esteem and what they're doing is that they're trying to overcompensate for that low self esteem through this self admiration and this self love campaign and they'll hurt anybody else to promote themselves it's true you don't want a man to think he's cuter than you you don't want that you don't want that look what the Bible says in proverbs 21 and 24 the proud and haughty man Scala is his name deals and acts with overbearing pride overbearing pride the proud and haughty man I think this is an amplified Scialfa is his name deals and acts with overbearing pride you don't want that man I don't want my daughters with no narcissist I want my daughters with a real man rugged don't care nothing about what you think about him I want you know how you know how to take care of myself I spend money on myself but I you know the Lord has drained all of that pride that ego out of me drained all of that out of me man you know how can i steam my wife better than myself i steam others better than myself back in the day I had actually recycle myself out to believe I was better than everybody just just just a narcissus just self-consumed on the verge of just really being destroyed by God I do black and I'm gonna be doing it if I let it be 100 years over y'all go see me and somebody shop getting my hair dyed I promise you yeah number six you got to avoid the commitment-phobe avoid the commitment-phobe avoid the commitment-phobe this person usually preoccupies conversations with how they were hurt in the past you know you just got on the phone with this person and they telling you how they were hurt in the past and they don't trust people they will declare no desire for anything serious but at the same time they'll want to occupy all of your time and your life I don't want nothin serious but at the same time next day I called for you want you to answer the phone well you said you didn't want nothing serious you know silletti let's just keep it like that and so what I feel like it Clegg's Thank You doc that's that's a flag you know this is a commitment fold they want they want benefits and privileges with our commitment they want sex and they even want babies from you without even an engagement ring you don't deal he won't give you a promise ring yo yo ten years deep the time are we working on it oh man I don't like when you're coming off as that old stupid talk like that we working on and read what you mean you're working on it you didn't [ __ ] this woman up with all these babies in this you took my ten years you working on it you ain't working on nothing you got commitment phobia no ringy no dingy and what the man said on on preachers of LA no Iranian no dingy y'all got to stop you women got to stop giving away all this sex and I'm telling you y'all got to stop giving away all insects y'all messing the game up you got to stop giving away all this sex y'all messing everybody up cuz you're giving away too much sex they move away from one they won't do it then they find you and you and you and you y'all giving it all away with no commitment just cuz you just say you got a man but you got you ain't got no man a man is one that commits when Adam saw Eve he say this is my wife done ok let me get your real life story Sunday night Lisa and I went to the church and we had we spent Valentine's night with with the singles now this is powerful right here this is powerful what I'm getting ready to tell you right now one of the one of the beautiful educated gorgeous sister stood up and she was talking about how she had given up on men she didn't want no man no mo she didn't want no relationship she was just gonna love God and she began to say that she met this particular man and this man's words to her were and I'm paraphrasing I've been looking I'm interested and I'd like to date for marriage I'd like to date you for marriage I want to get to know you with an intention this is the man's first words to her I want to date you with the intention of hoping that we can make it to the place called marriage I want to be somebody's husband so I want to get to know you and the brother sitting in the church he's one of the brothers in church I had no clue they were together but that was his words to her I want to date you for marriage I'd like to get to know you with the intention that we may be able to go possibly go all the way Wow you don't need a man that's afraid of commitment you don't need a man that you know that you don't need a man that once wants all in the milk but don't wanna buy the cow and then sadly here's the sad thing y'all I got brothers reaching out to me telling me that women that they got women that they want to marry in the women don't want to get married you had you lent you're rolling around in the bed with the man and and the brothers won't want to marry the woman then with the woman for years and the woman want to get married commitment phobia and what you do is the commitment phobe is going to always take and find ways to sabotage the relationship because soon as it begins to get too serious they become uncomfortable because it reminds them of what they came out of and the the big the big thing with the commitment fold if they've had that that history of failure or failed relationship they're afraid to feel that pain again Bible says in James 1 today the double minded man is unstable in all of his ways you got to know what you want you know you can't you can't say you don't want commitment but then you want to you want to be having all this sex you know you got to make up your mind and when you find a person that's unstable they love you I can't live without you okay well let's get married I don't want to do that no no no no no no that person is unstable in all of his waves now with the commitment for you you can discover this person by just casually asking just casually in the beginnings of the conversation just casually just drop it in without as though it was you know not even intentional just casually ask them about their previous relationships and how long they lasted and when they go they wondered last you drove six weeks I don't know 1-3 months how long was your longest relationship mmm well four months no no no unless this person is very young that you got somebody like in the 20s and all that time thing but somebody up was a thirty five thirty and he thought my longest relationship they had was four months there is a problem there's a problem there's a problem see there's a problem now let me shut this down number seven you want to avoid now you know this did we could we could make a whole new list of these things here man people to avoid when dating let me go over them again sorry sir can just recap for those that came in later never date the full time critic anybody that's always criticizing you should not be in your life number two never date an inferior anybody that sees themselves as less than you cannot be in your life number three avoid the person that's still tied to the apron strings of mamas and daddies they can't leave and cleave avoid the liar the liar is an actor and will ultimately hurt you and crush you avoid the narcissist they love themselves too much to love you enough avoid the commitment-phobe the person that's afraid to commit mm-hmm and in number seven avoid the talking head avoid the talking head this person comes on super aggressive they want to dominate the conversation they this person talks so much that you cannot get in a word in edgewise this person I listen to this statement I'm getting ready to tell you getting ready to make this person never listens you do not want to go far into any relationship with someone that is not listening to you if I'm not listening to you I cannot minister to you a person that does not know how to shut up does not know how to pause and listen you know I had to learn to hear my wife because my wife you know specially when we were in disagreement about things she would be talking and I'd be making sounds like okay okay and my whole thing was I was hearing nothing I was just waiting for my you know opportunity to just jump in cut off and then give her my spill heard nothing she said and when it's a man it is scary you never want to be a woman submitted to a man that does not listen to you who does all of the talking and usually people that do all of the talking that do most of the talking no the least you will find this to be true in church in the workplace and families and relationships the person that does all of the talking does not want to shut up usually does not know what they're talking about you do not want to be tired I'm going to tell you why I'm gonna tell you what happens with with a with a talking head and and this especially brothers you know see we as men we expect women to talk we've been socially conditioned to expect women to do a lot of talking and we listen to women you know that's what y'all do but even y'all can talk too much but when a man talks too much what happens is over time see in the beginning the woman will compromise some things because she she wants to have that relationship but over time when a man is with a man over talks and he talks entirely too much he becomes unattractive it becomes a drain the romance becomes a drain on the romance you know man should just be running his mouth all the time like that yeah well look how the Bible characterizes this person minister who talked to me hey what's he thought he was preaching you know he thought he was preaching he thought he's preaching to you yeah it's true you got to shut up man you know my wife likes that likes to be able to ask me big what's on your mind you know running my mouth all day shut up shut shut up man shut up look what the Bible says in proverbs 29 and 11 a fool other with all his mind but a wise man keeps it into laps would see when I discovered that you gonna tell all of your business I didn't know you gonna tell all of our business the demon especially I just gettin to know see if I were dating if I was saying we're dating of course you know I want an intelligent woman that's going to ask me questions that's what I would expect of a woman if a woman is not intelligent enough to ask me questions I'm probably not gonna go very far with that woman so I expect to I would expect to have to answer a lot of questions but once I've satisfied you know her curiosity and her questions relative to me so that she might get to know who I am then my interest is going to be to get to know this woman I want to hear you know what she likes who she is where she's from I want to discern this woman because I want to know this woman like I know my wife say I don't the guests about my wife I know my wife because I pay attention I listen to my wife but if I'm always talking as a man it means you know talking too much means that you're not really interested in me I'm not I'm not I'm not really you know so that's my seven for the night Joe all right that's my seven for tonight I love y'all I love y'all I'm sittin up in this room it's hot up here I said mister I love God and I will not [ __ ] that me or not because I know that's right even preachers to be trying to get you to fornicate you know because these little preacher preaches these little people wear these collars and all that stuff and sit up in the pulpit on the Thrones and everything don't don't mean y'all should be just trusting these people you know even preachers be out to be out there bad man yeah yeah I said it I said it yeah so uh how many of y'all open for the first time tonight I got to go good god god bless you dr. Kirk dr. Crockett tongue got tied up put up a one for me put up one for me if you with me for the first time tonight what does 21 stand for one one thank you one one one one look at the ones look at the ones me one one one time live one one one look at all the one second time this is great first time that one one those of you all that are following me for the first time or listening to me you fruit from Nassau Bahamas Wow I love the Bahamas I want y'all to follow me we get ready to get into some some real deep stuff I want you all to follow me and those of you who have gone through divorce and struggle with just the whole thing you know the whole idea of divorce I want you to follow dr. Sonya dr. Sonya I always get it always getting mixed up she is a licensed i'ma let her tell you put your information abduct Sonya those of you that struggle that have gone through divorce and of struggling with that whole process I want you to follow this lady she's going to be a blessing to

Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

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Length: 45min 9sec (2709 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 17 2016