♪♪ [cheering] Matt: Well, I'll just say it. This is stupid. [scoffs] Jason:Come on, Matt. Matt:No, you come on! We do this every year. James:It's for the survival
of the species. Matt:What are we surviving for? Look at us! We stand here freezing
for months, precariously balancing
a single egg on our feet while we starve to death. What kind of life is this? Jeremy:Summer is nice. Matt:Summer is two weeks! I've had food poisoning
last longer than that. And the marching. [groans] Each year, we schlepp our
fat bodies hundreds of miles, but we are so bad at walking. We don't even really
have legs. They're just feet attached to
the bottom of giant torsos. The first time penguins
stood up to walk, Mother Nature was like,
"Oh, child. That's not for you." Adam:What are we going to do,
leave Antarctica? Matt:Why not? Adam:Where would we go? Matt:Anywhere. Literally anywhere
is better than here. The North Pole has warmer
temperatures than we do. We are the frozen toilet
of the world. I've heard some penguins
live on volcanic islands where it stays warm year-round. Adam:Living on a volcano,
though? I mean, if it's warm,
then they probably never cuddle. [slap] Jason:Besides, volcanos sound
pretty dangerous. Matt:It is negative 60 degrees
Celsius right now. The wind is blowing
at 70 miles an hour. We would be safer
living in Compton. James:Did you just use both
metric units and English units in the same sentence? [slap] Ow! Sheesh, someone's hangry. Matt:You're darn tootin'
I'm hangry! Our last meal
was so long ago, Hilary Duff
was still relevant. Adam:That's enough! I am sick of
your complaining! Now, we're all going to
go around in a circle and say something positive
about our lives. I'll start. [cries] Jeremy:Oh, don't let him cry! The tears will freeze
his eyes shut! Adam:Matt's right! Why do we stay here? You know how sometimes we
just push someone off the ledge to see if they get eaten? Well, I keep hoping it's me
and it never is! This place does things
to a man. Jason:We're penguins. Adam:Your mom's a penguin! Jason:Also true. James:I miss my wife. What if she got eaten
by a leopard seal? Jeremy:Or left you
for a leopard seal. James:How could she do that? We have a child. Maybe. [scoffs] Jason:Come on, you guys. All this negativity is just
going to make things worse. James:No, standing on
an ice sheet for half our lives is gonna make things worse! All: Yeah! Right? Jason:No, no, no, no, no. Everybody listen up! Okay? Our happiness or our misery depends not on
our circumstances, but on our disposition. We choose our attitude! [crash] [groans] <i> Does anyone know the way
to not here?</i> [muttering] Hey, guys! Thank you so much
for watching that sketch. Make sure to subscribe
to the channel. And please like the video. Comment below. Share it. Do all these things. Make sure to comment about your favorite
penguin experience. "Pa"-- "Panguin"? I said "peng"-- Peng-- Pang-- I said penguin. Punglin. I said panguin. It's pronounced "pang-ween." Peng-ween.
