♪♪ <i> [audience cheering]</i> Oh boy am I excited
for this, my first
undercover mission! Can it, Johnson. Look, these guys
are gonna be here any minute,
all right? And the only reason
you're here is because you look
like this drug dealer's old delivery girl. And if it wasn't for that,
you'd still be behind a desk. Okay, well, I'm just feeling
grateful either way! Feeling #blessed. Okay, you're gonna need to
pretend to be a lot more tough. Oh, I'm tough. Tough as nails--
as fingernails. That's the phrase. [sighs] Look, you are way too
squeaky-clean for this. Guess you could say that. Never smoked,
never gambled, never drank, don't even drink soda pop
except when I'm sad and that's never, so. Okay, look. These guys are real
dangerous criminals, all right? I've been undercover
with them for months. So just stay silent. Relax, okay? I am a little sheltered
but I've seen a lot of crime movies,
all right? Home Alone, Big Hero 6,
Space Jam. We're fine. [forceful whisper]
Silent. Gangster:<i> Paulie!</i> <i> You were supposed
to come alone.</i> Hey, no, hey-- Gangster: Who is this? Paulie: No, guys,
it's cool, I mean-- no, guys,
can't you tell that this
is Veronica's sister Jessie? All right? She said
Veronica told her all about the delivery system
before she was murdered. She was murdered? She was murdered. You do look
a lot like her. Man,
were you two twins? What do you think? So let's talk about-- Why you talking
so much, Paulie? Let her speak. Okay. She c-can talk. Can you do her job? Can you stay quiet? Pff, yeah. You got your own weapons? Yup. Two swords. Gangster:<i> You got 'em on you?</i> They're in my pants. [audience laughter] Down the legs. Okay. Down both legs. Are you familiar
with our product? Familiar? I barely know her. Oh, shut your face! I mean, yes. I know drugs. So well that they used
to have a nickname back for me
in my hometown. What was that? They called me drugs. It wasn't
a very creative place. They used to
call my dad drugs. Really? Yeah,
but then he died. Oh. From drugs,
which was the name of the other dude
that got him. Oh! It's a crazy effect-- All right, let's get
back to business! We all know
who took out Veronica. We need to move
on Ricky and his guys. Jessie, Veronica
would give them messages. What would you do? Uhh... text. Email. Text! No! A scary candy gram. Heh, no, guys,
she's just joking. Gangster: What's funny, man? What's funny? Paulie: Nothing's funny. Something going on? No, no, no, no,
this is serious business! You guys work hard,
okay? You smuggle,
you hook youths, you-- you make the drugs
out of dirt and wheat, I suppose,
and you know what you do? It's tough beans. She's right. It is tough beans. Yes. So what will you do
with Ricky? Well, you know
what to do. We kill him
and his whole family. Oh, no, is that
what you know? I don't think so. Uh-huh, yeah. We'll do it for Veronica,
your sister, yeah. Yup. Pour one out
for my homie. [nervous laugh] <i> [audience laughs]</i> So we kill Ricky,
then what? Huh? Then what? Yup, just need to do
the whole thing. I think you've
honored her enough. Uh, well then you
deserve to celebrate. You know? Drink
all your fancy beverages that were once grapes. Oh yeah, fine wine! That's what we deserve! Yeah, it's called wine! Oh, this is nice. And then, you can go
to the city. And you can gamble
all your little plastic circles. Vegas. Yeah! Sounds like a par--
a party. Woo-hoo. And then you can come up
with tough things to say to people
when you're torturing them, you know, like,
"Wanna play one-on-one, doll?" Yeah. Whoa, wait a second. That's a line
from Space Jam. You're not Veronica's sister,
are you? Paulie: Wait, what? You guys all have swords? He doesn't have any swords,
he's a snitch! Why would you tell them?! <i> That's all, folks.</i> Oh, I could really use
some soda pop right now. <i> [audience cheering]</i> Hey guys, thanks so much
for watching that sketch. Thank you! Please comment below,
like this video, and subscribe
to our channel! Yeah! I'm really
not that sheltered. Now, you said,
"heckacopter." Yeah. In the sketch. That you wrote. No, I-- that's just--
that's polite in mixed company. You said
that we should go visit the Hoover Darn. Well, you know...
