The Grown-boy ego | Grown-boy University

hey hey tony gasses here now coming in with a couple more grown boy signs today i i you know have other sessions and stuff and appointments so i my videos get interrupted but now one thing you got to realize is about the grown boy ego and the wrong boy ego it that still stems from insecurity but with that ego and i remember having that ego so when i talk about when i was dating my wife like around two or three months and i started being you know insecure and trying to be controlling in my questioning of what's she at what's she doing what she got going on and she was like listen we got to take a break and when she stopped talking to me i didn't go looking for her i ain't checked for her i was like all right fine bump you then you see now the thing was was it was ego grown boys have a lot of ego to where it's a competition you're trying to win you're trying to break the woman down so what happens is women having a larger emotional sense so the part of the woman's brain that feels emotions is larger in a woman than in a man that's why you see the men do the things men do it's like and it seems heartless even with what we do in battle you know in competition with the things that men do it just could seem very callous very heartless and that's just due to the brain you know the makeup of who we are as a gender and so with women you sense emotions greater and that's why you are the gender that carries the baby and feeds the baby from your body from your breast you feed the baby and you when that baby is born you are the one you're getting up every two hours because you're breastfeeding so the man might not even be there for one if y'all broke up and then two if he is there he may not necessarily be getting up because you have the milk so you just the emotional sense of a woman is so great that men know that if men have a poker face and i talk about this in in my wife and i book a woman's influence i think one of the chapters is called the poker face if i'm not mistaken but men know that if we play tough that a woman typically is going to circle back around and say hey how are you you know hey what's going on or hey we need to talk or hey let's discuss we need to discuss us so most grown boys are going to have the poker face and the woman has to understand and realize that that that's how this gets flipped on you so when you say well look we done or we need to go our separate ways because i'm not going to tolerate that a lot of times as a woman you're expecting to hear the man say well no no i'm sorry like let me explain let me articulate like what happened and why i said that and why that happened the way that it happened okay so here's what happened so this is what you have to understand about me and just where i am right now in my life that's what you expect and you're expecting this whole dissertation so you could give him a doctorate of love and he just like okay all right fine all right bye and he may think about you every second of the day he may or he may go dive into his other weak woman the woman who just let him come and go dog do what he want to do he'll go forget about you in her loins he just go dive in her and that's how he you know stops thinking about you or that's what gives him the strength not to call you and yeah he may go treat her better because he had to cut her off and get distance from her give her a silent treatment or ghost her to come bill with you so then while he building with you she over there on ice and she broke in she hurt and she trying to heal so then when he runs you off then he just go right back to her listen i did all this this how i know how i work okay i did all i've been through all this you hear me listen to him now and so here you have that ego so now you start to think man am i crazy am i tripping like hey did i make the right decision like did i do right because he ain't called me any he said all right forget it all right fine that's how you feel okay bye he didn't call me like he need to check in like what's going on and so you starting to question yourself that's the grown boy ego and so that's what you have to realize now on the other side of this inside of this ego now this grown boy he's going to be inconsistent and i mentioned this on on the five signs i think to where he's going to tell you hey i'ma call you at 9 and then you don't hear from him at nine you might be at the two o'clock in the morning you start thinking like man did you get in a wreck did something go on like what's going on and you might be wanting to be tough so you don't want to call him but he ain't calling you and literally he trying you to see if you're going to call him if you're going to be worried he's trying to see if he press the right button if he then press the button that send you into worry into panic where you get frantic and no you should not call him if he said he gonna call you you wait the normal amount of time and then okay 48 hours 72 hours it's like okay did he ghost and then you go to looking into it and saying is he on the missing persons report you know checking you know then you call him or text him and at that point it's just like i'm just doing this to make sure you're living to make sure you're okay he answered that phone got to go we done we done because he just tried you that was a test to see if he could flip it on you because every man know it's on us to initiate contact because the man if you want to be the head that means you got the lead if you want to lead that mean you got the lead in love that means the man leads in the courting the man leads in the dating meaning the man initiates the phone calls the text messages the man initiates the dates the man initiates he's not afraid to initiate sex he's not afraid to ask you to give him some to get on your back so he shouldn't be afraid to call you first or to text you first he shouldn't be afraid to set up your next date he shouldn't be afraid to do that because he ain't afraid to ask you to get on your back but see a lot of men grown boys they don't understand that they said well no i'ma ask for that cause we supposed to do that we supposed to do we grown you know if i ain't getting it for her how you want me to be faithful to her she ain't giving me none that's a lie that's a lot and so the other mistake that that that a lot of women make with a grown boy is you sleep with them too soon once you sleep with this man and he had to put in no real work he has not had to really work for you it ain't even been six months and you get on your back he put you in a box he put you in the box at that at that point that a racehold that point right there he don't feel the need to change for you he don't feel at that point right there you have no value to him because you gave your body to him and see a lot of women you'll think like okay well what's that you know that just sleeping with i wanted that or i did that for me or or everybody doing that that's just what adults do you know like how you gonna judge me off that because he was in the bed with me too so he did it too not just me no that that don't change how a grown boy gonna perceive you and then now you got a grown boy who get to say he had you now you got a grown boy who get to tell everybody hey i hit that hey man she ain't like that man secretly bless you h oh but you hear me hey she tried to act all this and that brush ain't even that man man that was so easy but hey [Music] i ain't have to work hard and i was already in there so that would let me know right then she ain't my wife that would let me know right now i'm gonna dog her that would let me know right then like i talked to her do whatever i want to do with her she just gave her body away like i have a's she don't know that i have genital warts she don't know that like i i could be the nastiest thing in the world she only she just gave her her body like man she don't respect herself she don't love herself so now what you did because you know you wanted to or you felt the need to or you felt like you know if i don't give it to him somebody else gonna whatever your reasoning is he don't care grown boy is not gonna give you the benefit of the doubt so that's why you got to keep your legs closed and stay off your back to give you time to assess the situation to really read this man to see who you're dealing with because the worst thing that's going to happen is y'all don't work out but now he had your body now you don't add another body to your list so if you ever have to talk about that or you ever want to bring that up you don't want to discuss that with the man you dealing with now you you know well yeah i don't you know been with 12 men and then you know and let's say he'd have been with three women so now you literally picturing [Music] he and you and him both of y'all picturing 12 different shafts and he having nightmares he trying to sleep and he just getting slapped he got 12 different things hit him while he sleep he wake up because y'all just had that conversation of the conversation came up like so how many people have you been with and y'all were just casually talking and you felt like it was a safe zone and and then you throw out your number he throw out his number he might even be lying you might be lying but your number still might be up down and it's because you giving your body to grown boys who don't deserve you and then the relationship don't work out but yet you operating from this fear of well if i don't do it somebody else gonna do it that's not true that ain't always true and you can't worry about what somebody else gonna do you protecting your life you're protecting your name it don't matter what the next woman do with her body that's on her if he go get her and get her on her back you're gonna find out about that so that's his loss but you get to walk away unscathed you get to walk away hey i still got me i still got my name like you ain't get me on on my back you ain't you can't say you did nothing with me so all you could say is hey i witnessed her presence i was graced and blessed enough to to sit in her presence and to date her but you can't say you even came close to this thing you sniff this hill and so now you still got your name don't don't give your body away that's why i tell y'all stay off your back forget the excuses forget the reason and stay off your back forget the fear stay off your back forget what he gonna go do with somebody else that's his loss not yours stay off your back and so this the thing the grown boy make all this work together he inconsistent he's condescending he's rude he distant he's all of these things he overly questioning you he make you feel dumb he is manipulative he all of these things to break you down so you get to the place where you feel like i'ma just give him my body you know i'm gonna do this so i'm just gonna you know i'm gonna chase him and beg him i'm gonna and you doing you ain't saying this at your mouth but that's what you're acting saying so now he like hmm see what i thought she was teen got no value sorry woman gold digger desperate for love desperate for marriage she'll do anything she'll play any kind of role to get a ring shot anything to get me if they use you you're gonna be on the roster that's how you doing it that's how you look at you listen you got to do better you gotta protect you you can't expect a man to come in your life and to just protect you off real you don't know him he don't know you you can't expect him to give you the benefit of the doubt this man is not going to look at your situation he's not going to look at you when you get off your back you know and you're going to call all of him in you he's not going to look at you and say oh well you know she just you know it's a real classy woman and that's a real woman to like go ahead and just make love to me and just be real and be authentic and that's what she wanted to do so you know that she did that instead of trying to play a role you know listen to the relationship coaches like tony gazman like she just went ahead and just gave me all of her and i respect that you know she a real one for that [Music] he's not giving you the benefit of the doubt he's he's in a calculator okay how long did it take okay three weeks okay how many weeks in a year okay 52 divided by three okay all right 13 14. um he doing the math um 16 she sleep with 16 men a year i knew she would lose oh my goodness 16 men a year oh i can't believe it it don't matter if i sleep with 50 women yeah i'm a man that what man get to do she a woman man women ain't supposed to be like that man she's living with 16 men a year he literally could be the only man you know slept with in the last five years he's not considering that all he going off for your actions that you show him he ain't trying to get you no been in the field of doubt so now he running your your name through the mud everybody who know you that he me or that he know and when you leave him for being a grown boy everybody he talked to they say hey what happened to some son man the girl used that oh man she would lose and that thing hit me one day like i woke up and i realized like man i hit in the first month that means she sleep with 12 men a year if i hit that one in one month do the math like you do about you see i'm saying that 12 million and a year i say man she old slaughterhouse brother ain't my wife i'm not going to marry that man so i was like roger dog let her go man nah he spread that it's your reputation that's your reputation he's spreading that now people who he done pointed you out to people who you met who know him now they looking at you hey look hey you know what a girl without a lady let me show you right here on instagram don't you look classy look like she got a lot going on right look like i got everything they gotta get what home but hit in one month just like that low value one i want to be talking about low value here you go right here see that man you can't trust these women man even trying to fake in front and try to echo class and all that man i'm telling you man these women do not need to be trusted man he wouldn't lose and so this what he's saying is the narrative he running with so now that's how he's gonna treat you he gonna talk down to you he gonna demean you you dumb he the mastermind he the mouth of mine he the genius he all knowing and use a dummy you weak you lost you insecure you hit play toy you his footstool and that's how this grown boy won't you that's what his ego is telling him and a lot of y'all confuse this grown boy for a grown man because you take the insecurity that you are feeling that he's making you feel you take the decisions that you've made from a place of weakness vulnerability insecurity ignorance wherever you acted from when you got on your back too soon with him you take these things these action these feelings and you let it make you feel less than and you start trying to live up to his standard you start trying to be who he trying to make you be and you forget who you are and you forget your worth and that's what you got to understand so listen to me now he now i just add a couple more signs to what i added okay i'm gonna have an ego i don't know if we talked about that one and you're gonna have uh his inconsistency which we probably talked about that one and this what you have to recognize you got to pay attention to this and when you see this you say okay here wrong boy you also got to accept the mistakes you've made you got on your back too fast that's on you ain't got nothing to do with him that's on you shoulda did better do better next time get back up brush yourself i'll get back in the fight do better next time in the next situation and listen when you go through this with a grown boy when a grown boy has used his ego against you to break you down do not let that keep you down do not go into the next situation angry with disdain and distrust and looking at this man with a side eye do not do that go into the next situation happy healthy whole the man should not be able to tell that you ever dealt with a grown boy you should feel like the moist the most joyous peaceful happy woman on the face of this earth but you know who you are you know what you stand for so when the question comes up and he tries to make a move and he try to sleep with you you're able to say hey we ain't going there now we ain't going there we're not on that level like yeah we kiki and we we doing all this and we all are in the body and all that with e mask on and we having a great time bowling skating theme park all that breathing through this mask and you know yeah we might even share a little kiss through the mask but we're not there we ain't going there what wow so he like how you could be so peaceful so happy so joyous smiling and laughing and having such a great time and not have guards up but then have the strength to say no like wow because typically he used to women who that friendly being able to just get them on their back and then women who say no they've been cold ice cold the whole time because they haven't been hurt they haven't been played so they just rude and nasty in general so when they say no it makes sense he's not used to a woman that got true confidence he ain't used to a woman that really know who she is and that's how my wife was is like she was so nice and friendly that i'm thinking like man she might be she must be easy she's so friendly and then when i tried to go all the way that's when she turned from finding nemo to megalodon i was like wow i would blow i'm like just two different people you were so nice and friendly and keep keen and just having a good old time and i tried to get me some and she done raised up and kicked me out of the place i'm like whoa i was i would blow but see that was pure and genuine strength that was real self-worth not just fronting that was real self-worth and so i realized that and i was able to compare that to every woman which had been over by a hundred women that by that time that i hadn't went out with you know talked to dated or you know went further with over a hundred women that i had comparison to and i'm like it ain't never been a woman that you know on your level as far as taking care of herself and presenting herself that got the equal amount of self love and self respect so that was like whoa and at that age you know my wife was 19 when i met her she had actually just turned 19. you know i met in like october and her birthday the end of september and so she was fresh 19 probably a month you know 19 and a month and here she is with this kind of know who she is and yes she had learned from being you know mistreated or cheated on or whatever in a relationship before me but i couldn't tell that like i didn't sense any rudeness you know she wasn't condescending she wasn't you know like all standoffish or like yeah right mm-hmm yeah where you at what you doing it was none of that she didn't bring any of that baggage and so i would so i would blow because typically if one was that free-flowing and just happy-go-lucky that typically she was easy and then the ones who were not easy it was you know they weren't that attractive either and they just was strong you know they were strong you were strong you were smart and they was like that and so it was like whoa you got all this strength and you don't need oh yeah look where all this stream coming from you ought to be happy somebody trying to talk to you this i'm thinking you know as a 21 year old man and so i'm like girl you know come over here with the teen wolf legs and then you want to have standards just to win some of the women who hadn't turned me down as far as going all the way before my wife and i'm like i'm not finna wait for this because you don't need to take all the way good care of yourself so the grown boy and me i'm gone and then when i met my wife i'm like hey come on now i'm trying to go with the same flow hey i like that ugh come on gotta get me some grown boy she said i'm like whoa but then i realized had everything else to match it so it was like okay take care of yourself you know you love yourself all the way around and this that's who you this is who you are okay i can respect that and so that's what i mean by when i talk to you about the three b's brain brand and body and i'll do a separate video on the three b's because i always mention and i don't know if i got a video called a 3b but that's what i'm talking about when i talk to you about that i'm talking about you working on you to present yourself to the world the best you could be in that moment you might not be all the way where you want to go but you actively working on every aspect of your life and so you the best you could be that day and then you go you're going to get better tomorrow you're going to be better next month you're going to be better next year but when a person meets you you at your best because you actively working on you and then you know who you are so a grown boy his games and his ego and and what he trying to do they ain't got nothing to do with you because you know who you are you know where your standards are you know you're not going to chase him you know you're not going to beg him you know you're not going to get on your back for him you know who you are so all the tactics that he didn't learn from these red pill men and the midtown men and all the men who you know talking about high value men and low-valued women and all this right here all the stuff here to learn from this grown boy captains and tribe it ain't gonna work on you because you know who you are you have your pop your bylaws your policies and procedures your dues and don'ts your deal breakers that's already listed in your mind and written upon the tables of your heart so you ain't with the games and that's what you got to get to and now what you got to understand all right so hey god bless you nah i had opportunity today to shoot some more videos you know how to change my little situation here in my coaching schedule so give me a little more time but god bless you and uh we'll be in touch this this ought to be the last video you see today and um lord will i get to shoot something for tomorrow god bless you we'll talk so and you and y'all know what not these right here the topics and stuff you know they come from real life you know they come from real women that i'm getting messages from or coaching sessions from and so this real stuff to what i'm speaking to real stuff real life that thousands and thousands of people dealing with so understand that right now god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 35,590

Rating: 4.9631948 out of 5

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Id: rOrdYBZVH70

Length: 27min 3sec (1623 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 13 2021