The Grown-Boy Mindset | Grown-boy University

hey hey tony guys here now popping in just a little extra on the grown boy side i want you to understand the methodology the mindset of these grown boys and the reason why i understand this so well is because i was a grown boy i was the captain of the team i was the one of the worst then i became a grown man so i understand both sides both ends of the spectrum now with these grown boys what you have to realize is i gotta watch my time over here is they operating from a place of insecurity the grown boy is operating from a place of insecurity and he feels weak he feels lost you know he went through some type of breakup or abandonment or abuse as a child or as an adult being bullied being overlooked being mistreated being talked about he's going through something that has made him bitter angry and he's taken his anger and his bitterness and his unfulfillment he's taking it out on a woman see the the common denominator with uh all grown boys will be unfulfilled man and to be unfulfilled as a man meaning he doesn't know his purpose so a grown boy can be a millionaire but you could be a millionaire or a billionaire without true purpose without a true sense of identity and so these men then use women as their punching bag as their human teddy bear and so he is broken on the inside as a person and instead of going to a woman and utilizing a woman's strengths and her gifts to strengthen himself and to build himself up while building her up he wants to do the opposite because he feels like in order for him to breathe he needs to steal your oxygen supply he feels like in order for him to stand tall he needs to knock you down so he can stand on your back stand on your shoulders he feels in order for him to be a man he has to make you feel like less of a woman so he doesn't know who he is and he's not confident in who he is and what he brings to the table because if he knows his purpose he knows the reason he is here and the work that he should be doing he will be fulfilled and he will not feel the need to tear down to use to manipulate to deceive to abuse any other human every person he comes in contact with he will want to help them realize their purpose and help them win if he was a grown man but as a grown boy he is operating from fear and he is operating from insecurity and the work that it takes to heal that he will have to hear uncomfortable messages like this he will have to accept full responsibility for his life and not blame his father his mother another race the government or a woman not blame anybody else but say what can i do and what do i need to do to better my situation regardless of the disadvantages and the unfair treatment that has been levied upon me what can i do to overcome in spite of that requires dedication it requires mental fortitude it requires sacrifice and that is painful because it is thankless work it is no public reward in the beginning it feels like you are an unsung hero and you will see men who are taking shortcuts who are refusing to grow who are using women and they appear to be getting ahead because this woman is buying him a car this woman is buying him a house this woman buys him clothes this woman invests in his business so he has his foot this man has his foot on the neck of women and he is standing on their shoulders and calling himself a giant so the man who is sacrificing and going at it alone and building himself up as a man instead of using women and demeaning women he feels like he is losing because this other man is getting ahead so that work is so painful it's so thankless that men on average don't want to do it and so that's why he remains a grown boy because the shortcut looks easier and that's what you have to understand about these grown boys and so when you recognize go back to my video about um five signs of that he's a grown boy five signs of a grown boy however i did it whatever i titled it and look at those signs i think i actually went through eight of them probably could have went through 10 or 15 but i'm just i'm just playing i don't know if it's that many but listen to that two or three times and then understand this video that when you see this in a man and you see that this man is competing with you mentally or emotionally you see that he played a role and he lured you in being sweet and amazing and then not too far into the relationship he has flipped the script in chapman time he has flipped the script and now he's being manipulative condescending rude a little distant inconsistent he's doing these things he is a grown boy this will typically start to show between three month mark and the six month mark some men could fake up until like the nine month mark by then you will at least have seen one to three red flags do not ignore them do not feel like you could change him if you are of age you over the age of 30 you grown he's over the age of 30. do not feel like you could change him the only way to change him is to leave him that's the only way to change him is to leave him and if you come back he's not going to change and listen don't get caught up feeling like okay i put in nine months so i put in a year and if i leave another woman is gonna get him and he's gonna treat her better because when you leave a grown boy you're not losing anything and she is not gaining anything and you have to understand that you are not losing anything and she is not gaining anything so do not be jealous of who gets to sleep with the hyena do not be jealous of who gets this savage that is your that should be your least concern you should be excited that you recognize the red flags and that you found the strength to walk away and that you as a grown woman will eventually attract a grown man who recognizes your worth realizes your worth and treats you with love and respect that's what you need to be excited about not worrying about how is he gonna treat her or what is his next relationship gonna be like and even if it does turn out that was not your man because he already learned the language to speak with you and that's a language of you know him being condescending him being distant him being rude him being inconsistent so that that's not going to change and a lot of times you know you'll look at other people i'm checking my time you'll look at other people and you say well well this person changed their personal change listen worry about you and your relationship start comparing your grown boy to me because i said i changed for my wife because i was 21 years old when i met my wife you ain't 21 unless you is and look and i had a calling on my life to do this in love and relationship so what happened with me and my wife that was in dating when two months in what she said hey i'm going about my business we need to take a break and she went on about her business and my ego didn't allow me to chase her and we bumped back into each other six months later because my homeboy wanted to connect with her roommate and so me and my wife started back talking and in that six months i hadn't come overcome my ego but my ego wouldn't let me pursue her and i was 21. i didn't value or understand the value of a woman so a lot of y'all comparing your situation with your man that's 35 40 45 to me at 21 and he is not called to what i'm called to be doing right now so if you if you look at him and you know his calling is not this right here to be working for god in loving relationships then his story is going to play out different so you can't look at the next person life and say well she stayed i'm gonna stay off she gave a second chance i'm gonna give us you have to look at your situation and you gotta see how many red flags he has as a grown boy you gotta see how old he is you got to see how many mistakes he has in his past how many marriages how many kids how many baby mamas you got to look at how many vices you see what i mean you can't compare apples to oranges and just do something because another woman did it because you don't know all the inner workings that went into that you don't know if god had his hand in grace day situation for a testimony and you trying to force something to be a testimony and it ain't meant to be a testimony because you're in a different situation so understand that these grown boys they've moving out here today and they they're working for the devil and they seeking to devour because they want to break down the home they want to have weak women who having their children but these women are remain barefoot and pregnant where you don't have no income you don't have no say-so you you lose your righteous mind you listen to what he say do you do what he say do when he say jump you say how high and a lot of you guys say that ain't what they want but that's exactly what you get when you break a woman down and you demean her and you condescending and you make her question her intuition that's help to your games that you plan and you do a jedi mind trick to where she thinks she insecure she thinks she dumb she thinks she's stupid she thinks she weak because because she caught you cheating and so you breaking her down and that's what they doing but they saying now they know what i want no i want a strong woman i'm an ambitious woman no you not because you can't have both you can't have a woman that's going to be ambitious in business and conquer the world but then weak and soft in her relationship and afraid to speak her mind and afraid to stand up for herself because of all of the con condescending remarks you gave her and how dumb you made her feel and so that's what they doing and this what you got to recognize and realize and you got to get it off the jump now you're going to see it you're going to see it early in the first three months some of them are going to be in the first month you can't ignore the signs you cannot ignore the sign you got okay oh done boom and you got to be ready for the marathon you got to understand it's not a sprint to finding your husband you got to be ready for the marathon you got to be ready to leave 10 men before you say yes to the one it might be 50 men that you got to dump in the first month it might be a hundred men you got the dump in the first month but when you get the one it's gonna be worthwhile and you're gonna be even more the wiser and you're gonna be even stronger because of what you've gone through so don't let it break you down let it build you up and i'm willing to be called a simp and soft and all that by grown boy because i know who i am and i know what god did for me and i know a grown boy life can't compare to mine i know his piece can't compare to mine so i'll be whatever they want to call me because i know the real because i don't bend that and i did it on a whole nother level to need grown boys out here trying to do it today so i understand that back and forth like my shoe side like my hand like the back of my hand i understand what they doing and i know where they at i know they lost i know they hurt i know they're insecure i know they're weak i know they're lame i know they all of that right there that a grown boy is and that a grown man is on the inside and could come out but because of the influence and who they listening to on youtube and instagram that's what's slowing them down but hey i gotta get going god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 24,335

Rating: 4.9773479 out of 5

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Id: UzxuNrCgHgo

Length: 13min 41sec (821 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 13 2021