The Best School Stories From r/AskReddit (Scandals and Crazy Teachers) [Compilation]

what was your school's huge scandal my school district gave all high school students laptops that they could bring home with them to use for school work they could also remotely activate the web comes and spiled students although of course they didn't tell us this one kid got caught smoking weed this way while he was in his room at home and I think was going to get suspended he sued the district's in response for invasion of privacy and won the case it got national media attention for a little while good for him my friend sister got suspended for in fight she got into after school off school grounds their parents fought it and got the suspension reversed I'm tired of schools thinking they have any say in what kids do on their own time unless a student specifically gets school personnel involved it's none of their business a year after I graduated HS a woman was stabbed 40-plus times with a pair of scissors while jogging on our track on a Sunday one of the guys in that year's senior class wound up hanging around the track over the following days obsessively pestering investigators with questions and theories so naturally some suspicion fell on him when the woman's description of her assailant she survived matched him spot-on he was arrested and both the scissors used in his bloody clothes were found at his house a dude was sentenced to 10 plus years in prison end of story right wrong two years after the trial the jailed kid is ordered released after his little brother one year younger and the dead look-alike for his big bra is popped for violent sexual assault on a woman and confesses to the stabbing during questioning turns out the older brother took the fall for him falsely confessing so that he could keep his youngest about of jail dude never told anyone but did admit the lie after his younger brother's arrest and confession I knew both kids when I was a student they're both brothers were definitely thought to be weirdly intense but their behavior was attributed to their military dad strict style of parenting and not anything darker amazing how the human body works on one end you have man gets punched once in bath I doesn't on the author it's woman gets stabbed 40 times survives the assistant principal died in a car accident there was a big samba school assembly in his honor his wife said a few words and then his 14 year old daughter came to the microphone to say a few words she sort of snapped and unloaded about how he was not a good guy he was a monster who had been abusing her and her little sister's and using them for killing P for years and she was glad he was dead I've never heard a room full of people grow so silent so fast well that took a turn my high school districts is superintendent hired a relative who wasn't qualified for the job increased the salary of administrators every year used the district's credit card to buy meals groceries gas personal electronics and gift cards when the state audit went through they said that the over pay of administrators and the personal spending cost the school district around 1.1 million dollars her husband was also an administrator when she eventually got caught she just retired and for some reason never faced federal charges when she retired she had a 206 2500 and $18 salary my favorite part is that the state would have discovered like the district's credit card was used to purchase logging equipment the same month the superintendent's husband filed paperwork to open a timber company everyone knew there was corruption in the school district but no audits or investigations happened until someone was threatened by the superintendent's husband on Facebook one 9th grader broke water on her field trip and one of the teachers had to help deliver the baby the caretaker killed two local girls and hid them in the school he tried using the clay kiln to burn them he later dumped them a few miles away two things one we had a bomb threat and the teachers would not tell us who sent it until the school paper leaked it and for the rest of the year admin in the paper had a back and forth power battle - not our school but our sister school the principal of that school got fired because he was found in a hotel room with a dead H on the bed and a mountain of drugs on the desk a very popular guy at my school was arrested for videotaping people using the restroom he was 18 they not can't believe he videotaped nineteen-year-olds that's terrible my high school guidance counselor Frick to science teachers wife and everyone knew about it they got a divorce both teachers still work at the same school to this day and students will never ever let it go the story has been handed down from year to year so it is written so it is told a girl died in the pool during an events at the school the swim teacher was blamed and was prosecuted the girl who died was at my sister's class both were seven at a time that happened over ten years ago if the parents haven't had another child since she was their only kid he gosh that is heartbreaking so many of these other stories are gross or funny but this one oh that poor family someone spread photos of naked female students which forced some of them to drop out this happened at my school and one girl actually printed out photos of another girl and put them on all of the windshields in the student parking lots some idiot parents showed up to the local elementary school a few years ago and said I have a gun I'm going to go to this classroom and shoot this person what are you going to do about it he was promptly arrested he wanted to know what the school's policy was on active shooter situations and make sure they were prepared and his kid would be protected unfortunately he was next level stupid and has been spending some time in prison my high school had some fights that for some reason managed to make the local news and the principal's words about it were broadcasted as well she was P and talked loudly in a passive aggressive manner over the announcements the next morning repeating our schools mission statement over and over ending the broadcast with record that record that became a bit of a meme around the school after that and the school seems to have lightened up about the situation since because the journalism teams shirts have record that written across the back the assistant principal was embezzling money it promptly started a hashtag five or so guys got caught smoking synthetic weed the kind that utterly reeks and will freak you up internally in the school toilet right next to the biology rooms where the biology had just got out of being a drug officer in the met when asked if they smoked cannabis in the toilets apparently one of them he was new to the school and didn't speak much English said no I only smoked weed we had two teachers arrested for secretly recording kids and separate incidents our woodshop teacher had a low-angle camera on the floor pointing up towards the seats and also would slide an iPad out from under his desk when girls would walk up to it he let a student borrow his flash drive who found the evidence then our speech teacher was caught hiding a camera underneath the sink in one of the private bathrooms that special education used second one is in a whole new zip code off screwed up in my sophomore year a group of seniors decided a good senior prank would be to sneak into the bus garage and slash the tires on buses in order to get out of school ended up causing over forty thousand dollars in damages and did cancel school one day and the police came to the school to do interviews all that week apparently most of them got away with it because of how the buses were part at a time some of them were doubled up so they only hit the second row of buses which made Canara views too far away to positively identify and after that year iron the neighboring districts change their bus lot so that the buses were single row only and beefed up the camera systems gym teacher basketball coach and custodian were caught in the act in the showers custodian lost his job but teacher kept his go figure mop my slop sink there was a male and female high school paid teacher that essentially shared an office they always got along really well and kids would always joke that they we were dating we were just dumb kids so we never really thought anything of it after a couple years they both started acting weird around each other and there were rumors that he left his wife and kids for this pay teacher this wasn't actually true though what actually happened was they added on a bedroom to their house and the pay teacher moved in the kids pretty much just had two moms and everyone got along wonderfully it was strange for about a year and then it was business as usual I guess they're going on about 15 years strong not a skank Cooper said that we had a huge sit-down protest because the cool janitor got fired because of some petty argument with a lunchtime lady who had a lot of coal looking back she was probably frickin the principal all students from 10th to 12th grade sat down on the floor in the cafeteria when the bell rung at 8:30 a.m. up until the end of class at 3:00 p.m. the principal came in at the end of the day and said the janitor would resume his employment we shared it made the news sometimes what brings the kids together is hating the lunch lady although that'll change because by the end of the fourth grade the lunch lady would actually the person I hung out with the most two dudes got into a physical fight over a girl she was lesbian pink triangle by Weezer intensifies well I don't know if this was a school-wide scandal and it was years after I graduated but it's a scandal and a half I went on holiday with my recently graduated brother I graduated six years before him he had noticed his friends had posted online that they were in that same city too so we all met up with this group of super young looking dudes all around 18 stroke 19 there was an older looking woman I kind of recognized and I assumed it was an older sister I spoke to her saying hey I know you from somewhere and she says yeah I teach at the school it hit me that I'd seen her speech at my other brother's graduation three years before that then it hit me that she was holding hands and kissing this guy who looked about 15 and she was in her mid-30s not to mention his ex teacher even though they only hung out before he graduated and then they were instantly official what the actual freak apparently they now live together and she still teaches they're super weird two questions one was this in France too is that kid now the president someone created a fake facebook profile for our principal he was commenting realistically on teachers pages but the context never lined up nice to see you last weekend Ms Brown then once he had everyone as friends he started simply roasting kids hahaha he accessed the account from the computer lab and was never caught he was my friend's brother this is actually genius just picturing some high school kid with a status like just got a solo squad victory in fortnight with a principal promptly commenting lol you suck Junior High girls gym teacher posed for Playboy nude everyone saw those pics after one kid's dad recognized her and let his son take the Mac to school she got fired a kid got caught tugging his hog in the library while he and everyone else was taking the Sat he needed that post nut clarity some guy jokingly wrote if I won't get a B for this I'm going on a rampage on his English test fast-forward 15 minutes a police response unit of 12 stormed the classroom and frickin arrested the crap out of him without being brutal but it still was quite frightening for the Terrence reasons I guess a girl in my year lied about having a sexual relationship with a teacher in gross detail might I add we all knew that she was straight-up crazy and was making it up but the school board obviously had to take it very seriously and the teacher was fired worst part was that the teachers wife was also a teacher at the school and so even though she wasn't fired she pretty much had to leave her job as well the school board eventually figured out the girl was lying and offered both teachers their positions back but they both declined at the french-speaking school some students got suspended because of a song they sang at a talent show the issue of the school had with the song is that it was in English the students decided to do a sit-in and not go to class in protest of the suspension once it hit the news had reignited a lot of French versus English sentiments throughout the whole town after I left school my brother told me that two girls were found doing ecstasy in the toilets on the same day that David Cameron was visiting a girl in migrate died of a brain tumor a week before the year 12 formal they buried her the day before the formal it was frickin horrific the scandal wasn't so much with the school as with the local hospital the suckers had told her the me trains she was suffering were just normal stress symptoms so they didn't pick it up until just before she died she passed while the plane to a hospital in the nearest major city less than a year later a teacher also got brain cancer before that the fittest and smartest man I've ever met like crazy healthy a few other students and teachers have had cancer in the years since and it's not a big town so it's a bit weird there's a part of me that surprised there hasn't been a scandal about a cancer cluster tbh there was a home economics teacher who caught a lot of heat for showing how to put a condom on a banana well deserved condoms after no protection if you put them on bananas my high school got on national news for someone drawing swastikas pregnant seventh grader at the midlist school the Kratt bandit suspected pedophile gym teacher there was a pregnant seventh grader in my town too every teacher took this as a reason to punish everyone in that grade even people in other schools because apparently it meant our generation was immoral this was clearly the fault of every 12 y/o in town fathom there were two teachers at my school who were in their late twenties early 30s who were married the husband cheated on her with another teacher in her late 40s their affair was known by basically everyone they were even caught in the same car after a school excursion bypassing students they were on the same seat eventually the wife found out in her office was right next to the mistress apparently and they moved them to opposite ends of the teacher offices also the husband and wife kept teaching at my school for the entire time I was there and the husband wound up engaged to his mistress apparently the principal was totally on the wife's side and she got days off to prepare for court whilst the husband didn't how do nearly all the students know all this apparently teachers like gossiping as much as students someone started in my school gossip girl page and just started freaking roasting people really sticking it to them with some propylene nasty stuff it was great for me as I love drama and on a totally immaculate person or just so an important I was skipped completely they never found out who ran it but I can say that it was vicious and split the school into factions war is heck and all that Regina George's Douglas what is the dumbest thing you've gotten in trouble for at school I once said the monitor screen upside down with ctrl alt down arrow and got sent home Hackerman I was suspended for a full week for looking up doubt poetry and then Timmy frickin died we were told to cross out number eight on a test I finished the test early so turned my slash into a big Sun looking thing the teacher and really showed it to the class and yelled at me for not following instructions I was always embarrassed by this memory but thinking about it now just makes me angry in the hallway I said I miss the stupidest answer on the test not too grammatically correct but I was in middle school a teacher and came out of her class and berated me for my vulgar language and tried to get me to apologize for swearing so loudly in the hallway nice and silly had no idea what she was talking about and I basically just kept playing dumb I really don't know what you are referring to or what you heard me say I promise I didn't swear in the hallway etc according to my friend who was in her class the teacher thought I said that was a stupid ass test look out we got a badass over here saying the word ass and such in school bending a paperclip and laying it on my desk then the substitute teacher she was probably about 70 at the time came over and told me this is a weapon I was eight years old this happened to me too but in kindergarten when I was a kid in charter school we used to have to walk in line with our hands behind our backs and I ran out of line to hug my mom who surprised me at school that day I got detention freak you miss Baxter sharing a friend's locker his teacher caught me opening his locker and sent me to the detention accountability room the lady in charge told me that it was a stupid reason for me to get in trouble for and sent me back to my class I got a two-day suspension for taking my banana got my bag pretending it was a phone and saying hello is this the Apple Store should have used a blackberry I once showed a teacher that you could remove pen graffiti from the tables by drawing over in pencil and using an eraser to rub a both off she said she better not catch me doing that I'm okay plot twist the teacher was doing the graffiti sadly there's a worse one but I feel this one fits the thread better of course all schools ever know had policy which I respected although I love my hats I was in middle school six eighth grade and my older sister was a senior in high school we went to pick her up after school but we drove to the wrong side of the building there are two sides for pickup she was on the opposite side with some friends because it's impossible to get out of line and over to the other side my mom asked me to walk to the other side of the building and get her so I've got my jacket and my hat I didn't take them off because I don't even go to this school and it's after three and I just have no reason to I walk by all these kids who are much older than me I don't even look like I belong and walk inside I'm almost out the other door I see my sister when I'm stopped by our teacher excuse me what are you doing I stopped thinking I'm in trouble for trespassing or something made sense to me in the moment I looked at her and said getting my sister what are you wearing um clothes hats are against dress code take it off or I'll write you up I just shook my head because I don't have to follow dress code I don't go to school here I told her but she didn't believe me she asked for my name and told me to be in the principal's office in the morning I said okay so probably that I made finger guns and said ai ai ai ai ai did this to a friend at the bus port not during class or anything I was pulled aside and told to stop making gang signs and pro-gun signals I was threatened with suspension and ended up getting a detention zero-tolerance intelligence policies strike again breaking my ankle third grade I was playing football and got pushed down ankle hit a rock and I was sent to the office I was yelled for playing and they refused to call my mom or give me ice despite the size and color of my foot this happened during first recess 10:00 a.m. ish my mom didn't get off work till 6 p.m. I was in a cast for 14 weeks and I still have pain in that ankle almost 20 years later your mom should have sued the school big-time refusing to give you medical assistance and even punishing you for it yet there's a lot of legal issues with that one not me but a friend of mine once got in trouble for pushing someone else when really he was trying to catch them from falling backwards teacher passed by the room to see my friend with his arms out towards the person falling without any questions the teacher said he would see my friend in detention he also once got yelled at for softly singing a song to someone during a tornado drill when the song he was singing was to calm someone else down or some friend crap teachers logged into a PC as it was bringing up the desktop I hadn't even touched it since putting in my username and password a login script popped up and ran in a CMD window teacher walks behind me and yells stop hacking the system you're hacking IT I argued that I wasn't and hadn't even touched it everyone else who hadn't logged in yet showed the teacher she was wrong it was just the login script she went ballistic I don't know what a login script is but you're all hacking apparently I wasn't supposed to laugh at this so I got a week off after school detention these all have to be countersigned by the deputy head my slips weren't but he was supervising the first detention I explained what had happened and that I thought I was probably being given detention for laughing at her rage than the reason she wrote on the slip hacking the school computers he pinched the bridge of his nose and exhale loudly I swear I heard him say for Frick's sake under his breath when I turned up the next day for detention he told me I could go home and didn't have to come again this is by far the greatest thing ever I'm just imagine someone yelling you all hacking I got detention from not attending a class I didn't have explanation I was home-schooled so for half of my classes so at the time I had a first second and fourth period class rather than walk 20 minutes home I hung out in the library and would help the librarians shelve books to the head librarian was extremely rude so I decided not to do that anymore after informing the assistant librarian one day later my mother and I are in the principal's office for truancy which my mother obviously argues against the principal says she'll graciously give me one day detention rather than a week suspension which is the typical punishment I found out she was a drug by accident I made a joke about a classmates dad selling coke and in my head I imagined him driving around in a big rig with coca-cola labeling on it similar to the delivery drivers the teacher reported it to the principal and I got scolded for talking about drugs in class I had no malicious intent I genuinely did not know what it was but since I was 11 when it happened the principal just assumed I was lying when I said I didn't know what craxi was in grade 8 we had to take written exams at the end of every sport one of my friends thought it was stupid so she ripped her tests up I laughed I got sent to the principal's office but she didn't even get yelled at still not sure why that was I went through almost six years of high school without getting a single detention probably a month or two before graduating one of my friends ditched school for about 20 minutes to go to McDonald's he arrived back at school with a bunch of hash browns for my circle of mates to eat and so naturally I had one later that day I was called into the deputy principal's office and was told off for leaving the school grounds I received a lunchtime detention and was the only one that got caught being late to school when I was actually about a minute early I ended up having to spend most of lunch time in isolation guy was just on a power trip I sneezed in class when we were watching a WaterAid video and was given detention for laughing at the people in the video laughs in sneeze some girl came in crying to the classroom and picked me out saying that I scratched her with my keys I've never interacted with the girl in my life also got suspended in first grade I finished a test and flipped my paper over indicating that I was done waiting for the others to finish I drifted off into daydreaming I snapped out of it when my teacher yelled at me for staring at another classmates paper and copying their answers when my test was already flipped over and I was simply daydreaming but still salty about this and I'm 21 friend of mine once got called out for staring at the teacher was told to pay attention I got referral for being pushed down a flight of stairs by a bully he got a detention but no I get punished more because I must have provoked him yes because the school bully needs a reason UK detention is one hour after school referral means entire school day in a room working in silence the UK's system for bullying is dreadful I got told to just stay away from my bully yet because I go looking for them in the first place for hitting a girl in the hallway even though I did not do it and the girl even told the teacher I did not hit her but I still got detention when I was in the sixth grade my teacher got mad at me for slouching he told us to get out textbooks out and I had to lean back in my chair so I could see where it is and he was right behind me and said see me at my desk he gave me a detention during the first week because one of his rules is that you can't lean back in your chair the ever-loving frick does he think the back of a chair is for 6th grade teacher here just this week had to speak with my VP because i used the word sucks during class context after being sent outside for the third time student asked loudly mr. axe does my behavior suck me yes I'm afraid it sucks today child eventually goes to office sheds crocodile tears and while la administrators suck - I was a senior in high school we had just finished taking marching band pictures outside on a really hot day those uniforms are awful when it's hot anyway we come inside to do section pictures and I have my jacket off four minutes to catch some air I have asthma and was having a hard time breathing a band parent comes over and tells me to put my jacket back on and I asked her to give me just a second she goes and tells my band director that I was being flat-out defiant he yells at me before I get a chance to explain lets me explain myself then he apologized once to get you in trouble having a bra strap showing I was in drama practice and wanted to get water from the fountain so I took off my silly costume top and left the auditorium yard duty immediately saw me and proceeded to berate me despite knowing me and the fact that I was a good kid who never got into trouble a strong runner-up would be for answering a call from my uncle it was lunch the call was less than a minute and he was wishing me a happy birthday my phone was confiscated for the rest of the day because I was told talking on the phone instead of with my friends wasn't a social it's the explanation that gets me the most but you're being social on the phone I got detention in seventh grade math for laughing at a teacher's joke because I'm not supposed to have fun in class well maybe you shouldn't have told the class a joke and got half of us detention I believe I was in first grade at the time the whole school was assembled in the lunchroom it was unbelievably loud I covered my ears and it was still too loud I had my head down and there was a crumb on the table in front of me I noticed that by slightly shifting my head my perception would change such that the location of the Crump seemed to shift I'd nudge my head one way and it would go up and the other rate would go down so I started saying it to myself up down up down up down it made the loud obnoxious lunch room noise fade away next thing I knew a teacher clapped her hand on my shoulder I took my fingers out of my ears and looked up into a silent lunchroom the teachers had told everyone to be quiet and my dumb ass was still saying up down up down up down I spent this assembly in the office my god your robot got a job doing tech work for the school a week after I graduated I was walking back to my office while class was in session and a substitute teacher stops me and asks where my Hall Pass was I respond by showing him my admin walkie-talkie and my keys explaining that I'm an employee but I don't have an it badge yet he gives me the stink-eye and ushers me to the front office despite my exasperated protests and gets halfway through writing a discipline referral while I sit in my new boss's office principal waiting for my punishment boss walks in figures out what's going on and gives the guy a five-minute lecture about listening to what people are saying guy goes back to class dejected and boss and I shared a good laugh not me a friend in high school my school had a very strict zero-tolerance policy in regards to cursing and was slap in the middle of the Bible Belt a very legit religious guy wore this shirt that said God's last name is not damn it on the front and a Bible verse on the back about taking the Lord's name in vain or something they made it him take it off and they couldn't send him home so they just had him put on a shirt out of the Lost and Found box and gave him in school detention it was a mill borough man shirt what were you taught in school that you later learned was completely and true all off chemistry about three times electrons are little balls that circle around the nucleus just kidding electrons move in these little clouds around a nucleus just kidding electrons move in these different hybrid clouds just kidding electrons are clouds just kidding Frick you also light only moves in straight lines except when it doesn't our gym teacher told us your body temperature increases by 40 degrees when you run when we pointed out you'd go to the hospital W a fever over 103 she told us it was different and to stop acting smug the Sun is half star half planet I had a middle school teacher who told us that Buddhists have to pray to Buddha three times a day it took me till high school before I realized he was probably thinking about Muslims Muslims pray to Mecca five times a day so he even got that part wrong you can't take a bigger number away from a smaller number in Of Mice and Men curly wore a leather glove filled with Vaseline our teacher told us it was so he could beat his wife with a softer hand she was too embarrassed to tell us it was for intercourse Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity by flying a kite with a key on it no no he didn't discover it he invented it the phenomenon of electrons moving around never happened until he flew that kite people would offer me free drugs in seventh grade health class we were learning about cancer my teacher explained to the class that cancer can only be located on in major organs a few seconds after he said that I raised my hand and said my grandpa had surgery to get cancer and his knee removed a knee isn't a major organ is it and this teacher thought for a minute and realized he was completely wrong and just responded with saying I'm not sure let's move on oh crap the knee is a major organ we're screwed cracking your knuckles will give you a fright Asst I was doing it regardless of that myth it's not like I didn't believed it but sometimes you just have to crack your dang knuckles because your hand has a cramp or something very relief to find out it was a myth men and women have a different number of ribs also some stuff about the Antichrist but I didn't believe that till men and women have the same number of ribs that everyone believed the world was flat up until Columbus proved them wrong additionally that Columbus went to his grave not knowing that he hadn't landed in the West Indies if I recall correctly is a diary entry written by him acknowledging that what he had landed in was a new continent everything about chemistry in grade 9 we were introduced to chemistry then in the later grades they were like everything you were taught was essentially wrong we did it to simplify things here's how it actually is then in university they go lol everything you were taught in high school was wrong it's actually like this looking back I wasn't bad like chemistry I always did well but because of this constant flip-flopping I'm still confused about some of the basics for example acids that you have to round up all the numbers after the decimal point example one point zero seven eight eight three six six two seven two round the zero till one seven to eight eight to nine etc that slaves were paid just not very much and they were given a choice between a penny and a dime but chose the penny because it was bigger as if that was somehow less racist what the Frick it's illegal to sell your said yard sales you only use ten percent of your brain fricking liars my biology teacher told us that saying that if we use 100 percent will have wings and other superpowers that the ancient Romans as places called vomitorium where they would go and gorge themselves on food and then vomit to make room for more gross right kind of like that one scene in Catching Fire vomitorium swirly a sort of hallway designed for spectators to exit the Coliseum and other arenas as efficiently as possible fun facts vomit and thus vomitorium basically means to spew forth when you puke you spew forth old food a vomitorium would be something that spew forth people into a stadium that there wasn't any air combat during World War one because the planes were only used for scouting but w-what about Red Baron that I wouldn't be paid to stare out the window all day I'm a pilot George Washington cut down a cherry tree I think recorders are probably the simplest cheapest wind instrument and teaching music is healthy exercising a kid's brain in a different artistic way usually this is taught in fourth or fifth grade so by middle school they can choose a complicated specialized instrument and join band or Orchestra the food pyramid eat your carbs kids my seventh grade health teacher black people can't swim their bones are much denser than ours I've seen black kids jump into the pool they just sink like rocks imagine my surprise upon moving away from Union in you will need to write in cursive for the rest of your life third and fourth grade teachers blood is blue when it is inside your body while silly Americans spent millions building a zero gravity pen Mac could write in space the Russians used pencils actually NASA programs previously used pencils but because of the substantial dangers that broken pencil tips and graphite dust posed to electronics in zero-gravity the flammable nature of would present in pencils and the inadequate quality documentation produced by non permanent or smeared record-keeping a better solution was needed Russian cosmonauts used pencils and grease pencils on plastic slates until also adopting a space pen in 1969 with a purchase of 100 units for use on all future missions NASA never approached Paul Fisher the inventor to develop a pen nor did Fischer receive any government funding for the Pens development but Fischer invented it independently and then in 1965 asked NASA to try it after extensive testing NASA decided to use the Pens in future Apollo missions there are different sections of the tongue for salty sweet sour and bitter taste buds but I remember testing this myself once I took some piece of candy and stuck it on the sweet zone then on some other zone and thought it tasted exactly the same even as a kid I wasn't sure about the legitimacy of a plane because teachers convinced us you couldn't begin a sentence with because I believed it true and then they told you not to start a sentence with a conjunction and that heck would make special room for you should you decide a preposition would be a good word to end on back in seventh grade sex said my female teacher and mother of three told us that girls cannot have an orgasm looking back I honestly feel bad for the woman how can you go through life and have three children of your own without ever knowing that you could have an orgasm one future employers will see how many detentions you have had during school two there are 52 states in the USA this was a mistake in a textbook so this was thought to a whole generation of Austrians probably also Germans 3 in a geography class a student asked why the north of Ireland was part of the UK the professor replied because Island gave it to the British coming from the very patriotic Irish family this was a shock to say the least for high school teachers told me how professors in college university don't help you with anything and you're completely on your own after explaining difficulty I had with one of my papers to my professor he gave me the names of about five-six authors he knows right on the subject and essentially gave me half my research another time a professor actually loaned me a copy of a book the library was out off so I could photocopy a chapter I needed for my final paper most of my professors would answer questions over email or after class to professor's help more than high school teachers in most cases they probably thought Guam and Puerto Rico were States or maybe they thought there were 50 continental States plus Alaska and Hawaii North is up South is down East is to your left and west if to your right my world cultures teacher wasn't for the best I knew it at a time but my science teacher in eighth grade taught that the Big Bang Theory was the idea that the moon was formed by a collision between Earth and a mars-sized asteroid I told how this was not the case and her excuse was that it was simplified so that everyone could understand it better but she'd make a great senator first year in college the year was 2000 my intro to comp C professor looked at me with two heads when I asked him if the exams were open book his response after the shocked pause was something along the lines of do you think you'll have access to the book when you go into the real world it was my time to mirror his look of shock as I had just completed my second year of co-op employment through my trade school where I was employed as a DB admin and web developer and had not only books to reference but also w3 school comm bookmarks in ie6 in kindergarten the teacher's aide told us that North is always for words no matter which direction you are facing during recess I figured out which way North really wasn't told her her response was only if you are facing that way some M are always trying to my skate uphill my junior year of high school one of my teachers told the class that you can only get STDs from drug users and homosexuals she also said that there are millions of baby angels in heaven looking for the right mommy and daddy to be born to this was in 2012 some babies make poor choices and who they want to be their parents that means child abuse is the child's fault s the Vietnam War was a tie that's putting it pretty generously went to private Christian school the one I always got was when you're out there in college in the real world you need to be firm in your faith people will challenge you left and right professors might try to debate you and break you down and other people will be bombarding your faith everywhere you go thanks for the scare tactics but the most conflicts I've had was with a classmate and it went oh you're Christian I was raised Catholic but I'm atheist now what did you get for number seven that you don't have any rights in school like at all no freedom of speech no freedom of expression nothing this was in public school in the early 2000s your rights are limited though that if I did something that made the teacher mad it would go on my permanent record I remember being in a grade 10 science class and learning that everything I learned in grade 9 science was a lie from what I understand Sciences are just one long chain of okay it's not like that it's actually more like this that we wouldn't have a calculator with us everywhere that we go I before E except after C that's a weird one that the word weird is a swear word Thanks substitute teacher Wikipedia is a terrible resource that is often inaccurate because literally anyone can instantly change literally any article Wikipedia checks every edit within 24 hours if I recall correctly and they definitely screen new users somehow I tried editing a small backwater page once for chutes and giggles and my edit never happened more importantly Wikipedia has stood up to every instance of cross-referencing that I've done and I've written a decent number of research papers whenever I was told I couldn't use Wikipedia as a resource I'd do it anyway but would click the links at Wikipedia cited make sure the info was there in a way that I could reasonably comprehend and would cite that instead I had a psychology class in high school where we did a whole unit on dream interpretation Jungian symbols and the metaphor of different events but get a college and one psychology degree later I've been told about 15 times that even was too high to find his toes and is barely more credible than Freud dream interpretation is basically useless when I was in kindergarten my teacher told the class that thunder was made when the lightning spray the clouds and they slammed back together believe that beat Hill High School what something stupid you used to do in middle school to be cool I wrote all the Green Day albums on my bag as a checklist and gradually ticked them to show I had them all I didn't have them all we're an upside down backwards to the left yellow visor with my bleached peroxide hair gelled up thank you for sharing that must have been difficult to admit this is probably more high school than middle school but brag about not getting enough sleep everyone did it oh you got 5 hours of sleep last night I have only gotten 2 hours of sleep the past two nights some stupid game where being the most miserable makes you coolest a lot of people continue playing this game into adulthood and not only with sleep war my backpack straps as low as they could possibly go the bag would slap against the back of my legs every step but I didn't care cuz I was the crap in middle school I never caught on that everybody did this I wore my backpack up tight right behind my shoulders one day somebody laughed at me and called me a nerd for wearing my backpack so high and then I joined the club I had a mullet listen to DJ Quik wore a ghostrider t-shirt all the time and called everyone Kemosabe I used to spike my hair to look like Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z later on I realized I look like a douche well in all fairness Vegeta was kind of a douche I played that stupid game quarters with the cool kids for those who never have never had the pleasure of playing this game I'll give you a brief background one person starts a quarter spinning on edge by flicking it the second person has to touch the quarter without stopping the spin followed by person one touching the quarter this touchin goes back and forth between the two people like a sad game of hot potato until one person touches the quarter and it stops spinning if you were the poor bastard that caused the quarter to stop spinning you had to put you knuckles down on the table and the other person would fling the quarter at you as hard as they could it would hurt and make people bleed but in middle school it was the coolest thing to do during lunch break we had kids at our school who would play this without the spinning part kind of like bloody course just see who gave up first sold off my dad's P seriously found a bunch of all new d-max in the basement ended up selling them out of my locker a page at a time that worked great until I made the mistake of selling a page to the special needs kid who immediately showed it to his fundamentalist parents I suppose the bigger mistake was to get caught doing it again the next year I'd wear two pairs of pants normally basketball shorts under jeans if you asked me then I'd swear it was because it was more comfortable but really I just thought I was the crap I did this sometimes because people kept pantsing me there was this one kid who got his pants and boxers pulled off and I was scared people made fun of my voice so I started trying to speak in a low tone which backfired almost immediately my gym teacher referred to me as Kermit the Frog for years when I was in sixth grade I learned that the girl I had a crush on was coming to dinner with some family friends of ours I wanted to do something to impress her to make her think I was really smart I knew at some point she'd probably be in my room as it's where the kids generally congregated during these sorts of things so I began to set the stage at the time I was all about dumpster diving and hitting up yard cells with my other nerd friends to build Frankenstein rigs with the components we salvaged or picked up on the cheap so naturally I gathered all my my old spare and broken hard drives pour dish soap all over them and got the hammer out at the ready when they entered my room I made sure I was furiously smashing the crap out of these drives with my hammer tiny metallic pieces and soap suds flying everywhere we made eye contact for a moment before she and her friend slowly backed out of the room she avoided me for the remainder of the evening all these years later I can still remember the look of horror and confusion on her face I can't for the life of me remember what series of thoughts led me to believe there would be any possibility of her having a positive reaction to it the pubescent mind is an interesting thing I wore fingerless gloves for an entire day and tried to play it off as wait gloves however the little tykes green logo was very very visible the cringe is real draw random marks on myself so people thought I got into a flirty pen fight with the girls there were two girls who would always draw on me during science I would get so mad because my mom would get mad when I'd come home with marks all over both arms and other boys would get really angry or jealous about it and it just did not click for me turns out I'm gay as a bag of dongs though I wore a hideous plaid suit jacket from the 70s that I found in the back of my dad's closet I thought it was hilarious in a so ugly it's cool kind of way I probably just seemed desperate for attention had a pretty righteous wave of extreme yo-yo that swept through during seventh grade and by extreme I mean a bunch of kids getting excited over who could make their yo-yo sleep the longest yo-yo was all the rage at my middle school - I actually got pretty good and it still makes me happy that if I ever stumble across one I can nonchalantly rock the cradle and then go back to whatever I was doing I am choosing a book for reading I can only imagine how sad you father felt there was a boy I had a crush on when I was in seventh grade after a class field trip one day a lot of people got really sunburned when we were changing classes I overheard him talking about how sunburned he was afterward I thought it would be a good conversation starter since I was so sunburned - so an hour later when we changed classes again I went up to him and said hey Chris look at this sunburn and pulled up my shirt sleeve to show the back of my shoulder he looked at me really strange and went okay yeah that's nice and went back to his conversation with his friends for the rest of the year I kept getting sunburned intentionally so I'd have a talking point with him and kept going up to him hey what about this sunburn it's pretty bad now how on top of that I have such a fair complexion I don't even tan so I just burn get embarrassed and go back to being really white I used to keep my afro pick in my hair I am a curly-haired era boy I see no problem with this chain wallets it started off with short chains eventually it became an unspoken contest to see who could have the longest chain I flipped over the handlebars of my bike many times when that dang chain got wrapped around the pedal I worked at a hardware store where you could get various sizes of Jane cut to whatever length I remember getting a large link about 3 featuring long to try and look cool horrible wasn't me but when I was in middle school we had the group who considered themselves the thugs they weren't that bad they were pretty much the class clowns that you also didn't want a freak with well I remember in a sixth grade I went into the bathroom only to find them kicking one of the guys on the floor counting to 31 the guy on the floor laughed when it was over they congratulated him and welcomed him into their group yup so cool I think laying on a middle school boy's bathroom floor should be initiation enough sheesh well it's not something I did to be cool but to fit in and seem more normal I used to pack my own lunch when I was a kid because my mom couldn't be bothered with it and it really hurt my feelings when other kids would complain about how their mom's never got it right and would pack the wrong stuff so I would pack the only things we had in the fridge and pretend to be upset when my mom would get it wrong and put the dart pudding in instead of the regular stuff in reality I did it on purpose so people thought my mom cared enough to pack my lunch too but I didn't just want to fit in I wanted to blend in in my middle school wearing name-brand clothes the kind where everyone can see the logo was cool for some reason the two big brands were reco and South Col problem was these clothes were expensive and my single-parent household wasn't exactly well-off so everyone made fun of me because all I had was second-hand clothes often too small for me my mom conceded to buying me one South Pole t-shirt I wore that shirt literally every day people still made fun of me I learned a lot from that experience I would wear button-up shirts and button them unevenly like so there was a spare button on the bottom and an extra buttonhole on top the theory was that it would annoy girls and they would fix it for me I wore shorts every day it's raining and freezing cold outside doesn't matter I'm wearing shorts as an Asian kid who didn't weigh above 100 pounds until high school wore an XXL g-unit t-shirt that had sleeves which would reach my mid for arms with size 32 jeans I lived in a suburban town with a median income of over $100,000 and my school students were predominantly Asians and Jews I was a member of a group of kids who dressed similarly we called ourselves the ghetto gang used to bring universal remotes to school and turn off the TVs when teachers tried to show videos to Frick with them brought little remote-control race cars and put cuts over them and drove them around on the floor to scare people who thought it was a rodent oh and jncos parents made little stick figures out of pipe cleaners I made the heads just big enough to fit around a pencil it made me happy seeing someone pull out a pencil with one of my little pipe cleaner people on the end of it that's adorable I used to wear band-aids on my knees just because I thought it made me cooler somehow I once started walking with a limp in the mall when I was with my mom I didn't have any pain I just thought that cool people limped my mom took me to the doctors even when I insisted that nothing hurt and I had stopped limping it'll take where Haley's for 1,000 Alex okay I've always wondered if this was something that just happened at my middle school or if it was a bigger trend in sixth grade it became a huge thing to collect what we called chrome ease chrome ease are what we called the metal vent caps on car tires try looking at a bunch of car tires sometime most of the vent caps are made of plastic but on some cars they're made of metal those are chrome ease of course the only way to get chrome ease was to steal them off of cars since I was never a very popular kid I saw this as a chance to shine so I started seriously getting into collecting chrome Eze which I mostly got by walking a the neighborhood and taking them off people's cars parked in the driveway another way to get them was to pretend to tie your shoes in a parking lot as you were going back to the car I pretty soon had the biggest collection of chrome ease of any kid in the school about 120 I think but better than that eight of them were off flex uses which were the holy grail of chrome ease the ones on Lix uses were painted golden as being stupid kids we thought they were actually made of gold so there's were the best chrome ease of all some kid paid me five bucks for three of them which as a sixth grader was alder dang money so you bet I took it then summer vacation came and when we came back for seventh grade nobody cared about chrome ease any more so I went back to being one of the not cool kids my collection vanished at some point but somehow I still have one crow me which I still keep on a shelf with some other trinkets to remind myself of how much of a fricking idiot I was in middle school hair gel lots of it just plastered in my hair to the point of forming a helmet I went to a Catholic school so I thought being older boy made me pretty dang cool it did not as someone who was an altar boy for five years there was only one cool thing about it it could get you out of class from time to time carried around a handmade sign I took everywhere one side said awkward the other so random I held this up at some situations to be funny I wasn't funny this is terrible throwing pencils upwards so that they get stuck in the ceiling I still think this is somehow cool writing that got a mess everywhere you know the one I will get a girlfriend and then never talk to her again and she would break up with me I don't know if it was meant to be cool but it worked to keep me from ever kissing a girl until I was 16 made a secret deal with a close friend we both will subtly drop rumors about each other that we both have hot girlfriends outside school the next day after football I initiated have you seen Pat's girlfriend she's a real cutie another guy he was saying the same about you this morning what you guys made some loser pact about a pretend GF me I to go see you tomorrow I was in a break-in crew comprised of five Caucasian boys ranging in ages from 13 14 we were purposefully awful as a kind of performance art we'd gather at the NY Public Library on Saturdays with our boombox and have everyone laughing at us my street name was weak t this sounds absolutely hilarious please say you have videos of this put rubber bands on my jeans to scruff them up take fashion pictures with girlfriends and hand them out to friends wear a belt buckle with my first names initial on it where k-swiss with the flaps carry only a folder and no backpack East LA in the early 2000s this is a pizza cat he looks for people like you to befriend and give them the gift of unlimited pizza this can only be granted if you comment pizza plz if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 399,682

Rating: 4.8031955 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit compilation, school stories, high school, middle school, reddit best, teachers share, teacher, student

Id: ZHMEGfHMx8s

Length: 57min 5sec (3425 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 27 2019