hey Marvin your phone's ringing I know I can hear it it's right next to me okay fine hello oh hello this a Jackie CH jeffy's teacher I was calling to tell you that Jeffy going to be getting her report card today just in case he doesn't show you all right thank you for warning me who is that Marvin it was jeffy's teacher letting me know he's getting his report card today oo Daddy help me I was putting on my shirt and it started eating me it's not eating you it was just stuck all right thanks Danny from saving me from the big bad shirt monster well look Jeffy your teacher just called me and let me know you're getting your report card today so don't try to throw it away or anything you have to show me okay Daddy well there's not going to be any bad grades on it because I'm the smartest boy L well look if there's a single F on that report card your life's over you're grounded for a year okay Daddy but there's not going to be any FS on it well look get to school get your butt to school oh just my butt all can you help me take it off well no get your whole body to go to school all right man all right CR today before we get started I'm going to hand out without your report cards here you go pan here's your report card all A's yes Junior here's your report card only one F that's a new record and Joseph here's your report card oh dude I finally did it oh El you know how hard it is to do that wow Joseph that's very impressive thank you and Cody here's your bort called Always I knew it you know sometimes I get tired of being so smart maybe she get all El like me I'm good all right Bor here's your report card whatever just going to be a trash man like my dad anyway way and Jeffy he's your pork C oh no all FS my Daddy's going to kill me guys guys I got all FS on my report card I five no cuz my daddy told me he was going to kill me if I got a single F Well I don't have parents so well Jeffy why don't you just take Cody's report card home and say it's yours no that's not going to work because my report card has my name on it and besides I save all my report cards cuz I want to get into a good college someday oh and my mom gives me zerberts on my belly for every a I get what's a zerber it's where she blows at my my tummy and I'm super ticklish God I hate you Cody but guys for real my daddy said he's going to kill me if I get an F on my report call that's it Jeffy why don't we fake your death why don't we call your dad and say you died at school today and he'll never see you ever again but no Junior that's a terrible idea doesn't that seem kind of extreme just to avoid getting punished well my daddy said he's going to kill me anyway so we might as well do it I'll grab my phone all right all right guys it's ringing aren't they just going to look at the callor ID and see who it is I blocked my number Cody shut up baby can you answer the phone sure Marvin hello hey I mean hey this is Officer tells bad news Johnson I'm calling to inform you that your son Jeffy died today at school what I know you seem very upset if you have any questions feel free to ask what happened well um Jeffy and another student were playing tag during recess and Jeffy fell into a pile of ants and then a plane crashed only killing your son the ants are fine though they're fire ants they were normal ants until the fire from the plane explosion turned them into fire an but uh he's dead oh my God is it going to be on the news no it won't be on the news because the owner of the news Sir Isaac newon was the one flying the plane and he didn't have his pilot's license so he crashed his plane and that will make the news have a bad name so we just don't want anyone to know about it oh my God my yeah so he's dead so you'll never see him again I'm so sorry bye all right guys they totally believed it Sir Isaac newon who do you think in in the news Cody I don't know sounds believable to me thanks Joseph so my parents really think I'm dead yep they think you're dead so you don't have to go home and show them your report card sweet but wait where is Jeffy going to live cuz he can't go home oh you're right Jeffy doesn't have a place to live hey Cody can he stay with you for a while but me I don't want to living with me but it's your fault that we had to do that whole phone call thing well how is this my fault I told you it was a bad idea because you wouldn't let us borrow your report card well I would have rather you taken my report card than have him live with me well look it's your fault so now you have to let him live with you but why can't he live with Joseph dude I live in a cardboard box okay fine he can stay with me for one night come on Jeffy baby what's wrong what's wrong what's wrong Jeffy what Jeffy di say it without crying Jeffy died what why are you so calm you told me to calm down how did Jeffrey die what did they say it was a plane crashing fire a a plane crash really that sounds like a prank call let's call the real cops and see if it's true okay hey there want to call the cops oh yes officer we got a call from another officer saying our son died today oh well who was the officer that called you officer tells bad news Johnson really officer tells bad news Johnson now that's just ridiculous officer tells bad news Johnson retired 20 years ago this is probably a prank call a prank call baby what else did the call say well there was a plane crash and the guy flying it was Sir Isaac newon Sir Isaac newon now that name's just silly yeah this is definitely a prank call well why would somebody want to fake our son's death well did your son have something big coming up that maybe he was trying to get out of well he was getting his report card today I bet that's it I bet he got a bad grade and he faked his death to get out of it why would Jeffy do this because he didn't want to get grounded thank you for helping us officer okay yeah I just um guess I'll take off just uh just leave honestly I really don't want to go well you don't have to leave oh okay cool thanks what about our son he'll probably come home baby he has nowhere else to go yeah yeah so um what do you guys want to do I mean there's nothing to do find our son hey you want to play slap hands what's that well try to slap my hand got you loser well you try to slap my hand okay easy loser oh no no let me try again okay nope nope Marvin nope nope Marvin nope Marvin what go my Jeffy I got to try to slap his hand nope nope NOP nope nope okay that's it you're under arrest you're under ow ow ow ow uncle uncle get off me okay Jeffy you can only stay here one night and then you have to go go okay now look my parents are a little weird so just ignore them all right hey Mom hey Dad now would you look what the cat drugged in hey Dad oo Cody who's your sexy friend meow hey woman keep your eyes on me I'm the only one that can cheat in this house yes daddy guys this is my friend Jeffy his parents kicked him out and he needs a place to stay so can he spend the night if his parents don't want to what make you think we do now Tyrone that's not how we treat our guests so what's wrong with you you some kind of junkie or something you're going to hurt our little Cody yeah what you got what you holding huh huh no guys he's not a junkie he just needs a place to stay so can he spend the night I guess so Cody but I don't want to hear any of that loud rap music after midnight yeah this is a jazz household we don't like that rap music oh and Cody Den is going to be ready in a few minutes we're having parois and party pizza ooh parois oh we feasting T night baby so you and your friend go wash your hands and feet okay okay Jeffy welcome to my room Ken cover yourself up you dirty dirty boy we have company sorry about that Jeffy Ken just doesn't know how to act around company I think he needs a spanking hear that Ken I'm going to spank a little plastic tush boy you little weird old dinner's ready God come on Jeffy boy will you hurry up I'm hungry I'm here Dad wait wait where's jeffy's food oh Cody your friend's not eating at the table with us yeah his plate over there in the corner on the floor why well we don't know where he's been he might have rabies yeah he like a straight dog well I go to school with him he doesn't have rabies Cody don't argue with me I'll smack you okay I'm sorry Jeffrey you have to get on the floor oh okay hey he hey don't touch that fool we haven't you said CH yet all right everybody bow your heads dear God thank you for this delicious food and thank you for not letting any of my side chicks get pregnant oh thank God for that mhm thank you for good health in a short refractory period amen amen that's just a beautiful prayer honey that's how prayer should be straight from the heart mhm I meant that okay Cody eat your foodit mom what is this it's a perogi eat it you're going to grow up big and strong yeah big boys got to eat their parus oh I hate eating off the floor so boy how was school today yeah Cody did you learn a lot of new stuff well we got our report cards oh my God Tyrone got all a great googly mogly you know what that means Zer T um I'm done hey hey hey shut the hell up it's Ser time boy it's Ser time let's go to the bedroom okay Cody let me see that belly but Mama Take glish N baby give me some zers I need some I love zers o mom one more one more uh give me some more baby give me some come on man come on do another one what the [ __ ] is going on come on baby yeah I need some he so ticklish oh I want to go back home home all right Marvin your turn oh you're so done I didn't mean to do that oh you did not just do that you just lost check it out Connect Four I win but I didn't I mean to put it right there you suck I wish my wife sucked as much as you she's really good at Connect 4 she beats me every time we're playing again can we please go find Jeffy baby look Jeffy faked his death he has nowhere else to go eventually he has to come home oh hey you know what it' be funny whenever your son comes home you should pretend you can't see him like he's a ghost you know cuz he's dead that'd be so funny that's so mean that's what we're going to do baby whenever Jeffy gets here we're going to not talk to him we're going to act like he doesn't exist that must be Jeffy oh look let's answer the door and act like we can't see him okay uh hello hey Daddy I'm sorry I faked my own death baby there's no one at the door do you see anybody I sure don't Marvin Daddy I'm right here must have been a prank some kid rang the doorbell and ran away I guess so why can't you see me I'm right here I wish Jeffy didn't die me either morvin I didn't die I'm right here let's go upstairs baby okay Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy who was at the door is that your son yeah play along okay Daddy I'm right here I miss Jeffy I miss him too baby I'm right here hey I know you're going through a lot with your son dying and all but I'm ready for the funeral we're ready for the funeral too funeral we don't need a funeral because I'm alive I'm right here okay here's his Tombstone oh the tombstone here is his body oh not his body oh no that's not my body I'm alive I'm right here Daddy I'm right here I can feel his soul trying to contact me okay you ready to start the ceremony yes all right we're gathered here today to be sad about the death of Jeffy who is taken away from us too soon we don't usually question God's plan but today we ask why God why did you take this young man away from us in such a tragic and comedic way why I curse you God amen would anyone else like to say a few words for Jeffy I would Jeffy if you could hear me right now we love you we wish we could hear your voice one more time I'm right here here's my voice I want okay all right all right settle down calm down that's that's enough of that let's just have a moment of silence for Jeffy I pooed you folks have a nice day I'm right here I'm right here in front of now wait a minute I I I think I hear Jeffy from the great beyond what you do I think so Jeffy are you there yes I'm right here right in front of your face oh I I I can hear you Jeffy but I'm the only one is there anything you'd like for me to tell your parents yes tell my mommy and daddy that I'm sorry I faked my own death okay he says that he's not sorry and he would do it all again what no I'm right here possess me look we can see you okay Jeffy what Daddy you can see me oh Jeffy you're bad oh I'm so sorry daddyy I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I faked my own death I just didn't want you to see my report card what why wouldn't you want us to see your report card Jeffy why don't you go get it oh okay all right daddy here's my report card all FS Jeffy well I tried my hardest no you didn't you did not try at all these are all FS we're going to need another funeral after I'm done with him well funerals aren't cheap good to see you can beat someone at something you know cuz he sucks at connect floor and slap hands you want to play slap my hand okay ha you suck I'm bored I'm more bored I'm more border than you I'm way more border than you I'm the most borest person in the planet oh I'm the borest person in the universe you guys you want to have a tea party a tea party what are we girls oh I'm a girl I'm on my period I'm on my period too hey Mom can you get me a straw my V JJ thirsty what aren't tampons like straws for girls so they can drink down there no I don't know what a tampon is me either dude okay so do you want to have a tea party yeah sure yeah I could be British oh my teeth are yellow oh I don't know what a toothbrush is Joseph that's racist what being British isn't a race British lives matter you know what you're right dude uh so are we going to have this tea party or not yeah sure go ask Chef peee if he can make us some tea okay come on Ken oh man where's my can opener peepers baby what's up Cody don't call me that what do you want oh we need you to make us some tea cuzz we're having a tea party ooh a tea party I guess I can make it uh reach up there and get the teapot from out of the cabinet for me okay now where are those tea bags oh I got some tea bags for you right here just lay back and open your mouth and I'll oh oh no oh no oh no wake up wake up wake up Chef peee oh no oh God I killed him I killed Chef peei I'm going to go to jail no no it's okay it was it was an accident I didn't mean to do it no one's going to believe that I can't go to jail no it's okay it's okay I'll I'll I'll just just hide the body nobody will ever know come on where do I hide the body where do I hide the body the refrigerator no oh H the trash can yeah okay nobody ever checks the trash can okay okay yeah and then when they take out the trash he'll go to the dump and and nobody will ever know okay yeah okay okay I have to clean up the crime scene okay that's good there's no blood no bodily fluids and no Witnesses oh I might actually get away with this Ken Ken you wouldn't rat me out to the cops would you Ken we're like Bonnie and Clyde right go chicken R Stimpy piggy in the brain Ken come on you have to give me your word that you're never going to tell on me okay oh that's just not good enough K I'm sorry I'm going to have to get rid of you too okay okay no Witnesses all right now I just have to act calm and normal I I'll just tell Junior that chefi couldn't make the tea okay oh it's taking Cody so long I've been waiting for Cody forever I've been waiting longer than you I've been waiting longer than you could ever imagine waiting oh I've been waiting on OU and hey guys what's up hey long time no see how have you guys been oh man Tik Tock am I right oh and have you seen this fortnite stuff it's like a new skin and like like a cube and stuff like what's up with that and emotes you remember those wait is shfp going to make the tea why you asking about Chef PE all the time what do you want to marry him or something hey Joseph he wants to marry Chef PE what a weirdo but is Chef peip going to make the tea dude yeah is he going to make the tea for the Tea Party you you know what you guys were right tea parties are for little girlss we're not little girls we're we're manly men we we don't have tea parties we have wieners so like we should whip our wieners out to prove how manly we are and have a wiener party what is chefi going to make the tea or not he he said that he wasn't going to make the tea cuz cuz we're manly men and we shouldn't have tea parties we should just stick to the wiener stuff he said no I'm going to go yell at shf peipe no no no no no no no uh no no uh he said that he would make it but uh he couldn't cuz he doesn't have tea so he has to go to the store well the store's not too far away she only take a few minutes no no the store is very far away because the store he has to go to is in Canada Canada why ises it to go to Canada to get tea because that's that's where they have the best tea duh obviously no Canada makes maple syrup not not tea yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you're right but he has like a buddy in Canada that owns like an airline company and then he's going to take a flight from Canada to England to get the best tea well why didn't he just fly out of Florida oh he can't he can't do that he can't he can't do that it's too expensive to fly out of FL well it' be really expensive to drive to Canada well that's that's that's why that's why he's not driving he's taking a hot air balloon a hot air balloon mhm a hot air balloon cuz he has a buddy another buddy that owns a hot air balloon company and he just happened to be flying over so Chef peee just grabbed a hold and and he's going to like fly down to Canada but you know the wind was going the wrong way so like he's headed more toward Jamaica now so he'll probably be a long time and I mean who knows maybe he'll never come back I hear Jamaica's nice he might want to live there wait so shef got on a hot air balloon yes wait Joseph don't you have a hot air balloon Tracker app oh yeah we can track them right now what what I like the track hot air balloons you don't that's an app yeah yeah where's the where's the nearest hot air balloon wait wait dude it says the nearest hot air balloon is 300 Mi away in texes yeah uh well of course because I mean I forgot his his hot air balloon got abducted by aliens by aliens Yeah by aliens I saw the whole thing like the aliens just flew over and abducted the hot air balloon right out of the sky was crazy we should call the cops no no no no we we we can't call the cops because the aliens said that some of their aliens are cops and they'll know if we call the cops and they'll blow up the whole world if we talk about well they'll blow up the whole world if we call the cops yeah they'll blow up the whole world so we should just probably stop talking about it just just don't even say anything about that well why do the aliens even want she peipi uh because they want a human chef to cook them human food but don't they know shef peipi doesn't cook good yeah it Cooks bad food yeah they they like it they like that it's bad cuz they're bad and they like bad stuff what so we're never going to see sheipi ever again no no he's probably on his way to Jamaica by now wait if the aliens got them why are they still going to Jamaica uh because that's the name of their Planet obviously plan at Jamaica that's where they live they're like Jamaican aliens they're like we're going to abduct you man you know they're like like jarar Banks oh okay so what are we going to drink instead of tea like oh oh oh we could just have some uh Gatorade gay to raade get it it's gay like me it's Gatorade gay I mean I can't believe it took us this long to make that joke you know gay okay I guess we'll just drink some Gatorade wait where's Ken Ken Ken what what are you even talking about this isn't a Ken video this is a chef pee video look at the title you see Ken's name in there no you don't no why would he even be here no I left him at home no you had Ken before you went to the kitchen you said come on Ken you grab Ken yeah you s it right next to you dude no no no no you guys are just getting confused we've done so many videos you guys probably just got confused no you had Ken earlier and you took him to the kitchen no yeah I don't I don't know why you're talking about all this Ken but you know what let's just let's just Cal down and drink our G yeah I mean you know like I don't even need Ken cuz like I I he's a doll dude right you guys are saying that all the time so he's a doll and I remember that he's a doll so I just went ahead and threw more oh okay Junior can you take the trash out it's SM like a body's rotting in here what your body's rotting well that that can't be happening that fast I hate taking out the trash buddy buddy hey I'll do it I'll take the trash out for you no it's fine no hey no I got it I'll do it cuz I pooped in your trash can you pooped in my trash can yeah I tried to go to the bathroom but I I just couldn't make it in time so I just pooped right right in your trash can but that that's so gross yeah so I should be the one who has to take the trash out cuz you know I did it so you know just just yeah I'll do that and you guys shouldn't follow me though cuz it's like really stinky I mean I really I made a big one like in the trash can so just just stay here Jesus okay now I just have to throw his body in the outside trash can so the garbage truck can come take it to the the dump no no they'll be expecting that now I should hide it somewhere inside the house like like under the couch cushions okay there no one ever looks under the couch cushions oh man that was a really poopy trash can really glad you guys didn't have to see that Cody you're acting really weird weird weird I mean I just had a long day yeah cuz you know I saw aliens and I pooped in trash can so I mean of course I'm acting weird you'd be acting weird too if you had the kind of day I had so let's just take sips of this Gatorade gay Gatorade J I can't find my remote go and check under all the couch cushions what come on the remote's not going to be under the couch cushions it's going to be in your room where it always is hey Joseph you want to help me look for the remote under the couch cushions I guess so dude no me me I'll do it I'll look for the remote well we can just all look for it it'll go by faster no nope Noe nope Noe nope Noe because I pooped in your couch too what you pooped in my couch yeah see I didn't want to take the trash outside cuz I didn't want to get abducted by aliens so I just took the poopy trash and sh shoved it under your couch cushions well that's gross yeah I know what's wrong with me today I'm so weird so I'm I'm going to go clean that stay here he's acting really weird dude he's pooping everywhere I'm getting real tired of this come on peee okay where do I hide him now someplace no one will ever look ooh I know the cat litter box it's so poopy and stinky nobody will go in there okay okay there there nobody will ever look in the litter box okay okay I cleaned your couch cushions and I didn't find a remote so you got all the poop out of the couch what poop Why would the yes yes I I cleaned all the poop out and I threw it away no more poop okay you want some Gatorade yes please oh come on what now go scoop the cat litter it stinks you got to beuing kidding me I'm going to go scoop my cat litter no Junior please allow me wait why do you want to scoop my cat litter oh I just love scooping cat litter it's my favorite thing to do you just want to do all my chores don't you oh yeah I love doing chores so here I go let me go do it Cody's acting really weird I know right oh man I got to use the bathroom I'll be right back oh God e e e e e e e come on okay I'll just flush shfp down the toilet cuz according to Finding Nemo all drains go to the ocean so maybe he'll go to the ocean and get eaten by sharks yeah come on come on go down damn it go down go down go go down oh my god dude I got to tell Junior H gay toade dudud what's wrong Joseph you're acting like you saw Cody trying to flush ch's dead body down the toilet that's exactly what I saw dude what I went downstairs and I went to the bathroom and all I saw was Chef pee's head and Cody tried to flush him what do you think Cody murdered chef peipe and is trying to hide the body that's exactly what I think yeah take a few flushes but he finally went down hey guys hey Cody hey hi hi hey dude uh hi so do you want to drink this Gatorade cuz honestly I'm kind of over it I think I'm just going to go home well uh me me me me and Joseph were talking yeah talking just talking for a little bit just just assuming just just running a little ideas by our head just ideas ideas and we think maybe possibly what if you killed chipi and you're trying to hide his body hide his body no he got abducted by aliens remember no he didn't he didn't get adoped by aliens I saw you Cody you were trying to flush that down a toilet no no no did you see that I went downstairs and I saw you I was trying to go to the bathroom and you were in the bathroom wait is this true Cody um Joseph can I talk to you alone in the other room for a second yeah sure only if you tell me what happened all right Cody I need to know the truth right now okay you see that wall over there yeah what about it just keep looking at it okay I see you stay quiet Joseph you don't know how much this is turning me on right now yes I do oh hard Daddy okay junior junior Joseph just got abducted by aliens too wait what yeah yeah we were just talking outside and the aliens said they like shef peipi so much that they came back to abduct Joseph so he's gone wait I think you killed chef and you just killed Joseph no yeahuh yeahuh I called the cops what you called the cops but now the aliens are going to blow up the damn Planet though cuz the cops are the aliens what's wrong with you well I want to see that for myself that's them okay but when they probe your butt cuz they're Ali and then they make you watch them blow up the world it'll be your fault so don't come crying to me okay hello hey there I got a call about a body being flushed down a toilet uh yeah but uh you're not going to probe my butt are you but no I I mean should I do you have anything illegal up there cuz I can do a cavity search I I mean I don't really want to cuz you're a dude and that's kind of sus but I mean if you were a hot girl I'd do it no I don't have anything up there oh thank God cuz I didn't bring gloves and I got kind of a weak stomach I mean I know I shouldn't have been a cop if I had that but I mean here we are well uh another question you're not an alien are you what an alien no I was born here oh okay well anyway so my friend I I think he killed my personal chef and then tried to flush him down the toilet oh okay show me your friend he's upstairs there he is Officer there he is wait a minute are those cheese sticks yeah I was just eating them can I have a cheese stick well that depends you going to try to arrest me no not if I can have a cheese stick all right then no don't eat him he probably poisoned them kid it might be worth dying for a cheese stick I mean hell I've almost died eating a cheese stick have you ever ch on a cheese stick I mean you try to pull it out of your throat and it just gets stretchier it's like a magic trick but you're dying yeah I hate when that happens yeah but but Cody tell them how you tried to flush happ's body down the toilet well that's impossible his body would be too big to flush down the toilet it would take several flushes in a plunger and even then the toilet would still be stopped up Jor can you call a plumber I think the toilet's clogged up wow my life sucks today come on officer let's go check the toilet okay all right Officer I think he's in this toilet all right let's get to plunging hey EV everybody it's a me chef aipi chef peipi you're alive yeah I just got abducted by aliens that's why we shouldn't let him in here I thought Cody killed you oh no Cody would never hurt a fly and he's really sexy kid you called me over a false alarm I could have been eaten cheese sticks I'm going to go grab one now oh Chef I thought you were dead I thought Cody killed you no no you should really be nicer to Cody like next time you see him you should apologize and kiss him on the mouth oh okay oh man those cheese sticks were good all right I just got to throw away the container I I don't really know why I'm announcing everything I'm going to do there's no one else here Cody Cody hey Junior I was in the bathroom oh um I'm sorry oh Junior how unexpected yeah Chef peipi told me to do that what Chef peee I thought he was dead no He's Alive you were telling the truth he got a abducted by aliens oh well maybe you should listen to him more often you know and kiss him every now and then you're right Ken yeah I was throwing away my cheese stick cup and I found this guy in the trash and he says he saw you kill chef peee with a teapot Cody is that true uh no because you guys saw chef peipe and he was okay I'll go get my costume I I I mean I'll go get him hey there everybody it's a me Chef a peipi oh thank God you're alive Chef peipi we thought you were dead again oh wait hold on Cody told me to do that oh next time you see CI you should pull down his pants and start why did I wake up in the toilet Chef peee you're alive yes I am alive Ken you're under arrest for lying to the police you said Chef peipe was dead and there's two of them he couldn't be less dead wa wait which one's the real Chef peee I'm the real Chef peee obviously wait then who are you I'm uh Chef Peep's brother Chef a wewi what I don't have a brother named Chef wee yes you do I was adopted when you okay you know what screw it you got me it's me it's Cody what Cody yeah I'm wearing a Chef Pee PE costume hold on I'll go change okay Cody what's going on yeah I was in the kitchen 1 minute and then I wake up in the toilet what happened well I was trying to get the teapot out of the cabinet and then I dropped it on your head and I guess I knocked you out but I thought I killed you so I tried to hide your body wow if you want to kill me Cody then just kill me I'm glad you're alive shfp I'm not wait wait hold on what what the hell Junior stop it you weirdo well Cody told me to kiss you earlier ew that's gross well did you hear the thing that Chef we was going to say earlier cuz I didn't get to finish what I was going to say is I want you to pull my pants hey Cody uh you want to do that thing with the Rope again okay all right let's go daddy oh yes what hey um daddy I need a favor what do you need Jeffy can I borrow ,000 $1,000 what do you need $1,000 for Jeffy cuz I want to go to clown School see cook clown school why do you want to go to clown school cuz it's always been my passion I love making people laugh and I really like bedom Jeffy you don't have to go to clown School you already are one it's true we already act stupid and dumb you don't have to pay someone $1,000 to teach you act like that you never support my dream no son of mine's going to be a clown I hate you yeah go to your room Marvin you should support your son no baby I want him to be something successful like a doctor or a lawyer you honestly think he's going to be a doctor or a lawyer uh no see well look baby I I don't want him to be a clown he's going to get made fun of and that's not a career Marvin I'm going to go talk to him well I'm not paying for this I don't support it I hate my daddy Jeffy are you okay no Jeffy it's going to be all right no it won't not unless you write me a check for $11,000 right now so I can go to clown School Jeffy why don't you just save up your money so you can go next year because I won't want to be a clown next year then why does it matter so much that you go this year because I want to be a clown right now Jeffy do you really want to be a clown are camel's nipples purple well Jeffy if you promise to be the best clown that you can be I will give you the the money to go to clown School heck yeah Mommy this is so pee pee okay Jeffy just don't tell your dad oh I won't mommy daddy daddy daddy mommy's giving me $1,000 to go to clown School Jeffy I'm just kidding Mommy okay here's the plan what was that nothing nothing Jeffy you yelled my name no no I'm not going to clown school or anything no not at all that's right you're not going to clown school ever mhm yeah so you stay in your room Jeffy here's the plan Jeffy Jeffy focus focus okay you're going to sneak out the window and go to clown school okay all right mommy I'm going to be the best clown I can be see you later mommy hello and welcome to clown School my name is screw ball and if you're wondering yes I hate my life being a clown isn't easy it's long hours of kids pissing on you you pissing on yourself kids trying to punch you in the balls fat kids trying to eat your hair cuz they think it's cotton candy waking up in different motel rooms handcuffed to the headboard I've seen it all like you think it it's probably happened to me but anyway what we're going to do now is we're going to go around the room and each one of you are going to tell me why you chose this miserable path of life you first kid M I want to be a clown because I like making people laugh trust me kid you're not going to be making anybody laugh they're going to be laughing at you not with you people only hire clowns nowadays just to beat them up and piss on them at least that's what happens to me but anyway what about you sir why do you want to ruin your life looks like you already got the hair color going Oh Me Oh well my daughter's birthday party's coming up and I figured if I was a clown then maybe her and her friends would think I was cool you know like I'd be the cool dad like oh cool your dad's a clown but after hearing your stories I'm starting to doubt that oh no no no no no no no you're not going to be cool unless getting beat up and pissed on is cool then you'll be the coolest dad in the world but anyway the first lesson of clown School is if you want to be a clown you got to look like a clown so there's clown costumes in each one of your desks so go ahead and put those on what the hell oh God it smells like piss yes they all smell like piss they're all from clowns who died from blunt force trauma to the head from a 5-year-old with a B it wow this clown out think so cool oh God why is it so itchy oh yeah because the clown that wore that outfit before you had scabies be honored all right the next step to being a clown is picking your clown name my name's screw ball because when I was younger I got in a horrible accident and they had to screw both my balls together so I have one big ball that's why I'm called screw ball and not screw balls all right so just yell out whatever clown name you want and I'll tell you if it's taken uh what about what about Butterball the clown taken what about diarrhea pants the clown taken that was my father H what about noodles the clown taken dingleberry theclown taken uh poof pants the clown taken ball pit [ __ ] the clown believe it or not taken what really okay what about what about fart sucker the clown taken he was a good clown okay then what isn't taken uh tug Ball's not taken yeah that fit you you're now tug ball the clown I am not going by tug ball the clown oh yes you are once you're assigned a name you can't change it I did not pay $1,000 to be called tug ball the clown no refund all right kid what do you want your clown name to be what you about blue balls the clown actually that one's available congratulations kid your blue balls the clown yay I got my clown name I'm blue balls what he got blue balls why am I tug ball all right now that you got your clown names I'm going to teach you how to do the first trick you're going to need to know for a kid's birthday party and that's balloon animals they're going to want you to make dogs and giraffes and elephants mm- it's too hard what you're going to do is you're going to blow up the balloon and then you're done it's a snake balloon see snake and if they say oh I don't want a snake balloon then you hit them with this worm see so the only two animals that you need to know how to make are a snake and a worm any questions okay but like what if they want a dog you say snake or worm I'm paying you $1,000 you can teach me how to make something other than a snake or a worm snake or worm okay all right so the next trick you're going to need to know for a kid's birthday party is how to juggle so you're going to take three balls like this and start juggling watch me see I can't juggle but that's all right you don't need to know how to juggle you don't get paid enough for that they're just going to piss on you anyway so you can't juggle are you going to teach us anything snake or worm what I I gave you $11,000 the next thing you're going to need to know for a birthday party is you got to get horny you got to have your little clown horn walk around and do it in people's ears and give them tonight us okay what is this are we seriously not going to learn anything I spent what are you doing get this out of my face uh okay that is it okay that's it I don't want to be a clown anymore give me my money back don't be a party pooper I can't give you a refund I already spent the money but come up here I'll show you something cool okay are you actually going to teach me something sure all right so the next thing you're going to need to know for a kid's birthday party is getting pied in the face what oh God why does the pie taste like piss cuz I pissed in it okay that's it I'm out of here I don't want to be a clown anymore I'm reporting you to the bed of Business Bureau um am I officially a clown yet before you become a certified clown you have to pass the clown test it's only one question and the question is what two animals can you make out of balloons uh snake or worm congratulations blue balls you're now a certified clown go out there and get pissed on as much as you can thanks for the thousand bucks yay I became a clown this is the greatest day ever my drink finally came true hm I haven't seen Jeffy all day oh um well he's probably just in his room but you don't need to check on him though because he might be in there doing teenage boy things hey dny guess where I've been oh no you didn't oh yes I did where didd you get $1,000 to go to Cloud School Jeffy mommy Jeffy you weren't supposed to tell him well I didn't want to get yelled at you gave Jeffy $11,000 to go to clown school I'm sorry Marvin but it's his passion look at him Jeffy I'm blue balls the clown daddy blue balls the clown uhhuh Jeffy you better show me what you learned at clown school for $1,000 oh I learned a bunch of things Daddy I learned how to make Bon animals oh you better show me the best balloon animals in the world you better make me a huge elephant like I'm talking a li siiz elephant mm- too hard too hard nothing should be too hard for $1,000 snake or worm a snake all right it better be the best snake I've ever seen it's a snake Daddy that's cool Jeffy it's not cool it's D get out of here it's so Dum it literally just you just blew up a balloon that took no Talent Jeffy can I have a worm coming right up mommy you could just ask me for one here's your worm mommy oh it reminds me of my ex-boyfriend what get these balloons out of here Jeffy none of that took any Talent all you did was blow up the balloon and said it was a snake and a worm well you want to see me juggle I learned how to juggle ooh that's cool Marvin I mean I guess juggling is kind of cool show me you juggling Jeffy all I mean at least juggling's a talent all right Daddy watch me juggle oh my too hard what too hard why is it too hard pee on me what yeah that's what they taught me in clown school all right Jeffy that's it you got ripped off for giving him $1,000 to do something that was a scam but Danny I got one more trick up my sleeve want to see it yeah it better be the coolest trick in the world worth $1,000 all right I can't believe this all right Daddy see this pie yeah why does it taste like piss cuz I peed in it all right Jeffy that is it you are grounded you can't ground me I got a birthday party to go to see Marvin he already has a job but someone hired you for their birthday party they sure did Danny soe I'm going to go do that I'll show you ler go PJ go PJ go PJ go me that's right so how you ladies lik in the party this party is so awesome yeah I hope it never ends yeah well you know what they say there ain't no party like a PJ party cuz a PJ party don't stop so over here I got some Danimals and some Gogurt I got some Spider-Man and sponge Bob Gogurt you know whatever gets the juices flowing and over here I have some powdered Donuts so you can just get into that whenever you're ready uh PJ can I please have your autograph sorry babe you're going to have to wait till after the party okay okay ladies on the count of three I want you to say what would make this party 10 times better and don't say more PJ okay one two three more p a clown that's right a clown I hired a clown know you get it I sure did get in here blue balls I'm Blue B the clown all right make me laugh funny man [Laughter] okay PJ ain't laughing that's not funny um well I can juggle okay all right yeah let's see him juggle that'd be really cool if you can juggle yeah all right it's too hard want to pee on me what what that's not cool that's not cool at all this is gross this part's lame bro you're ruining my party you better do a cool trick right now oh well I can make a a balloon animal okay balloon animals I I want a balloon animal I want a pig I want a balloon yeah I want a balloon animal too yeah I I want I want a bird oh snake or worm what snake or worm uh a snake I guess that's what JJ snakes this party is so not cool it's so not cool bro nobody has ever said a PJ party wasn't cool you better do a cool trick right now well I got one more trick up my sleeve okay but it better be the coolest trick you've ever ever done yeah it better be cool PJ I'm leaving it's going to be cool I'm leaving oh we're leaving too no ladies come back bro you ruined my party no lady has ever left a PJ party I'm calling the party police there I just got done cleaning up the mess I wish we made a mess that I had to clean up ew hey I got you kid what Jeffy you got arrested yeah I had to trespass him for ruining PJ crenshaw's party PJ kinshaw jamy Jam scaw here jamm kinshaw that's the one what'd he do well he did a bunch of lame tricks and it made PJ's girls leave not his girls leave yeah his girls oh well so what's going to happen to Jeffy well I got to revoke his clown card so he can't be a clown anymore wait I can't be a clown anymore no you're permanently banned from being a clown wow all that for nothing wait wait why is your nose red oh cuz I also went to clown school but I dropped out cuz it was just way too much piss for my liking and I kept the clown nose to remind myself I'm a clown for paying $11,000 for that well she's a clown for paying $1,000 for Jeffy to go to clown school what a waste of money yeah okay I'm going to go to my other job leading Santa's sleigh oh like rud oh man oh man I can't wait to watch Charlie and friends it's my favorite show ever Charlie and friends was filmed in front of a live audience oh hi guys I'm [Music] Charlie and today I'm going swimming but there's one little problem I can't swim let's see how this [Applause] goes Charlie why would you go swimming knowing you don't know how to swim you're such a silly Billy you silly goose hey all you Charlie and friends fans out there have you ever wanted to meet the one and only Charlie from Charlie and friends well now you can meet and greet tickets are now on sale to meet Charlie I can meet Charlie I got to get tickets oh my God man oh man the piz of roll are almost ready sh B why would you do that you ripped off my arm bro you get it back but I need Charlie he's having a meat and greet and you need to buy me tickets right now I hate you pron I can't believe he RI my arm off let me buy these stupid meat and greed tickets so I can get my y back wait what it sold out no way I need to get those me and green tickets so I can get my arm back I'll never get my arm back hey all you Charlie and friends fans out there are you upset that all the mean greet tickets are sold out well we're holding a hand clapping competition whoever can clap their hands the fastness wins a free mry ticket are you serious a hand clapping competition how am I supposed to win the competition with one hand hey shfp what are you doing don't talk to me right now Junior I need to figure out how to win this hand clapping competition with one hand why do you have one hand because your dad ripped off my other arm oh well I can enter the competition for you look I can clap it's too slow Junior you need to clap faster like this yeah wo your hand super fast that's what all the ladies tell me Well what if I hid in your coat and I came over here and I helped you clap with this hand you know what you here that's so crazy it might work come on hello and welcome to the first annual clapping competition whoever can clap their hands the most in 10 seconds wins tickets to meet Charlie you're going down Nerds come on shef let's practice okay now hold your horses two people can't clap for one that's cheating but I only have one hand all right let's make it fair damn sorry Chef peee what come on junor three two one go God you know what I'm out of here and we have a winner afraid dang it now I'll never get a ticket or my arm back I'm sorry shf peipi I tried to help uh hello I I heard voices and I was wondering if someone could help me who are you oh my name's Floyd I'm blind I was wondering if someone could help me find this Charlie and friends meet and greet see I have this ticket but I kind of can't find it cuz I'm blind I can find it I can help you sir shf peipi don't you dare Junior I need this ticket I got to get my arm back so scram BR right now uh let me see that ticket let me make sure it's real sir oh yeah of course you know it's been a lot of scams lately oh definitely so is it real Hello so is it real hello hello here I got you your Charlie and Friends Meeting green ticket now give me my arm back you actually got it oh oh my God Charlie here I come wait where's my arm oh man oh man I can't wait to see Charlie oh I'm first in line no I'm first in line oh well second's better who's ready to beet Charlie okay he'll be out in 5 minutes oh man I'm his biggest fan no I'm his biggest fan no I'm his biggest fan I'm as big as hey hey hey hey break up you all right guys get out there you banned from meeting Charlie no seriously you can't do that he me you know youre he did it it's not me I'm I don't want to hear it you guys can't go back in there I got to meet Charlie I got to meet Charlie B I'm the biggest fan don't you startch it again guys it's not going to happen oh man you don't even know this tree oh the tree's going to get it I'm not even dealing with this anymore see what you made him do I don't care how many temper tantrums that grown man throws he's not getting back oh my mom said that to me one time guess what I'm telling you now he's Hur it's too bad guys you're not getting back in there oh come on this is so I'mma find a way back in I'mma sneak in using this disguise I'm going to sneak in wearing this disguise what you stole my idea no you stole my idea you look stupid anyway now shut up we're going to get in and see Charlie well let's work together then then let's work together now shut up leave the way God nerd who's the next fan me me me me me hi guys I'm Charlie oh yeah oh man I can't believe We snuck in shut up you're going to get us Caught no you're going to get us caught you're going to get us Caught no you're going to get us caught shut up you're going to get us caught is there a problem here oh no sir no me wait a minute you two look kind of familiar nah that's probably cuz you kicked us out earlier but hold on what I kicked you guys out earlier wait get back here uh next Manan oh my God going oh oh man security got you you big bastard you're next yeah thank you all right you two are going to jail for assaulting Charlie assaulting Charlie I didn't assault Charlie I was giving him a big bear hug cuz I love him I'm his biggest fan no you're not I'm his bigest fan hey hey hey hey break it up see this is why you're in here you can't control your anger oh I won't make it in here you don't get it I need my Peppa Pig to sleep at night okay but look you're going to have to stay in here for at least 30 days 30 days do you know how many days 30 days is 30 days it's it's at least it's more than 10 uhhuh I'm just going to let you count that out you you don't get it come on bro snap out of it we need to find a way to break out of here so we can meet Charlie you're right I'm a man I ain't no whip let's go we're getting out of here guard has it been 30 days yet it's been about 30 seconds 30 seconds I just came to tell you you still have your one phone call phone call I can't in here oh come on buddy hey hey look who it is oh oh oh it's Peppa Pig Peppa Pig okay okay your Peppa time up oh no this I hate it calm down bro the sooner we break out of this jail is the sooner we see Charlie and Peppa Pig you're right for Peppa and Charlie him too we need a plan like what you know what I still have my phone call and when that guard comes over I'm going to pun you in his face ow you didn't have to demonstrate on me sorry I just get excited hey guard hey I'm ready for my phone call okay come on okay here's the phone wait are you going to hit me I don't know my mom's number I don't know what to tell you man what are you doing you're supposed to punch him Mom I'm arrested again and the mean man put me that go I don't think I'm that mean come on P I'm already do you promise I love you Mom Mom said that if I behave and do my time so buy me the Peppa Pig bset okay okay buddy let's go back to yourself what are you doing you were supposed to punch him oh yeah hey guard what ow what the hell now you get 60 days 60 days this is your fault see I told you you going to give me it was your plan look G can I get my phone call please all right thank you all right make your phone call okay all I have to do is punch him in the face and I can finally see Charlie wait what is that what's what is this is this a human arm oh yeah that's ship's arm okay you're too dangerous to be making phone calls I'm going to have to add another charge for murder or at least dismemberment get back in yourself what no I need my one phone call all right you two are staying in here come on we need to think of another plan to break out of here don't talk to me anymore you got me in trouble what you got me in trouble we're in jail because of you hey heyy hey all right that's it I'm putting you two in separate cells good I don't want to be in here he smells better and I got to go tinkle really bad get in there at least I got my own celf what's up big and beautiful welcome to sale be for both M you cute M you're cute too man I need to break down so I can see Charlie hey bro I knocked out my cmate wait what how did you do that trust me you don't want to know but I've got a plan I'm going to call the guard over and tell me he needs medical assistance and when he comes in I'm going to punch him in the face are you really going to punch him this time I won't forget hey guard what do you want in mate my soulmate he needs medical assistance look Jesus why is he naked I have no idea but he's bleeding okay okay let me let me take a look at him let's see what's Peppa hey come on we got to get out of here well open the cell then first who's the biggest Charlie fan it's me duh well I guess you can stay in here then guys look you're the Biggest Fan okay yes come on we got to go man oh man I can't wait to watch the Charlie and friends marathon with you I know me too we're the biggest fans ever yeah time for Charlie who likes Charlie we like Charlie everybody loves for Charlie who got Charlie where is Charlie there is Charlie he got everything that you need he likes to eat food and stuff but Charlie he is he's awesome here's the Charlie and friend show is it is it real I don't want to be late to the meet and greed so man you must have like a magnifying glass or something looking at it real good huh so what do you think you think
